April 18th, 2012

Son of Jonah Brown

Though it looked like Dave might be developing shades of Jonah Brown about him when he landed in Indonesia to be greeted by an earthquake, Ed fans should not be laughing yet. True to his ideological father, Miliband seems to have had the reverse Midas touch with Aquascutum. Choosing the outfitters for his rushed wedding last year, the firm have now gone bust. Keep an eye on TM Lewin


  1. 1
    Need to know says:

    Does this mean the labour party is doomed?


    • 8
      ToonBob... says:

      Egg Milliband certainly has many more tufts of grey hair showing through….. noticed it on PMQ’s.


      • 22
        Fish says:

        Jonah II? True – look what’s happened to the intellect, career, sanity and looks of Angela Eagle since he appointed her to the Shaddow Leader of the House post.



    • 19
      Oily Jack says:

      Maybe not the Labour Party in toto as yet, but Jack Straw seems to be laden with problems just now.
      A step nearer to Tone’s demise perhaps, what with no honour amongst thieves and all that.
      Makes me laugh.


      • 58

        Tone’s demise?

        Have I missed something. What hospice is he in?


        • 68
          jgm2 says:

          Have you seen him lately? Looks like death warmed up. It’s a long shot but perhaps he does have a conscience and the guilt of his insane Iraq war and the subsequent destruction of an entire country along with hundreds of thousands of deaths is preying on his conscience.

          Ha! As if. More likely Satan, in a rush to get his hands on the wicked fucker, has struck him down with something suitably fucking horrible.

          Let us pray.


          • Not being theistic, I don’t have room in my belief system for Satan. Pity.

            My mind has being turning over a greater good argument about bombing a hospice with such a vile inhabitant in residence. Regretfully, I had to dismiss it on the grounds that it could be misinterpreted as an act of mercy.


          • jgm2 says:

            I don’t believe in God (or Satan) either. I do wish I did though. The thought of Blair, Brown, Straw and the rest of them having barbed wire pulled out of their arse for eternity cheers me right up.


          • Whenever I see your posts, I am inclined to investigate anger management courses.

            Trouble is all the ones available want to reduce anger levels whereas I am looking to increase them – where the situation merits it…


          • Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

            Have you seen the TV film “The trial of Tony Blair”? It starred Robert Lindsay and he went from being his Media Savvy jovial self to a ghost like skeleton and everyone tactfully withdrew from him as the case for war crimes got stronger and a likely reality.
            If only it were true.


          • Cruel and Very Unusual Punishments says:

            Perhaps I could help? Call round sometime for a chat – call it ferapy if you wish.

            We can play ‘fit the punishment to the crime’ or ‘This f*cka deserves this’ – your call.


          • Cruel and Very Unusual Punishments says:

            sorry SOTGAL – that reply was meant for S. Cat @2:49


    • 23
      The Labour Party says:

      It will rain for the next 40 days


    • 37
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      If Ed really is the son of Brown he’ll start gnawing the carpets and barking at the traffic soon.


    • 114
      Ed Milliband says:

      All I said was ” you should run this business like I run the labour party , it’s how I’ll run the country ”
      I then straightened my tie & left


  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    If Labour get in again then we are all doomed and counting buttons will not help.


    • 32
      screw the lot of them says:

      If Call me Dave the PR spiv gets back in we’re equally fucked.


      • 52
        David says:

        Agreed. At least with Liebour you know you’re getting idiots. The Tory crew making the same mistakes is just depressing. I’d rather have Jonah back in the hotseat and let the opposition get their shit together then another day with plastic Dave.


        • 69
          Anonymous says:

          Yeah it would be so much fun having liebore in power. I wonder what Liam Bryn would say if he picked up his own note the one which said. “There is no money left,” and realised he and the rest of Labour had to sort out their f*6″ ups of the last 13 years?


          • jgm2 says:

            Easy. They’d simply print another 1000bn quid, give pay-rises to the entire public sector, increase the top rate of tax to 110% and blame the bankers for the entire economic clusterfuck.

            Pretty much the same approach they took from 2008 onwards.


          • sinema goer says:

            Just finished waqtching “The Inside Job” a film about the credit crisis, wh caused it and how they did it. very well done it was too. the problem is that the bar stewards who caussed all this mess are still incharge of the “clean-up”. They are certainkly cleaning up their own bank balances!


          • Haribo Halfwit says:

            The only money to be made would be in winning the sweepstake on when a new postdemocratic government of technocrats would be put in place to replace them by the IMF.


  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:

    I thought everyone was buying macs – they don’t seem to get as many viruses as PC’s


  4. 4
    A Pasty-faced Plonker who Might (in reality) Have Been PM says:

    I say Chaps!! – dashed good luck that I’ve never been near a factory or a place where people do real work! – watt?


  5. 5
    Andrew Efiong says:

    It was one of the top-10 biggest earthquakes ever recorded. The tsunami warning went out. But nothing. Could it be that Cameron calmed the troubled waters?


    • 9
      Revd. Phoney £rd Way B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:


      It’s me that walks on water and puts the world to rights – don’t I Cherry?

      But my boy Dave is learning!


    • 104
      Kat Tousha says:

      Nope. The mythical god wielding the range finder was off by a couple of degrees and missed him. Better luck next time if they stop using Chinese equipment.


  6. 6
    ed says:

    Do you mean “reverse Midas touch”?


  7. 7
    PMQs says:

    Ed was quite shit today even by his own lowly standards.


  8. 10
    Lighten the fuck up, Doug says:

    I know some think highly of Douglas Carswell but he really did deserve Cameron’s response that he needs a sense of humour. Carswell is like one of those painfully sad university students who’d rather stay in on a Saturday night and read Latin than go out and have fun.


  9. 11
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Nah, Dave’s a lot nicer. Like Iggle piggle. I came to this conclusion when I watched the one where he learns to kick a ball.

    (such an episode does exist, I hadn’t been licking salamanders that afternoon).


    • 38

      That’s like the episode of Bod where Bod throws a ball up into the air.
      It doesn’t come back down.

      Sounds like the makers of the substandard animation series might have a plagiarism case against the Nightgarden.
      And wasn’t there an episode of teletubbies when La-La kicks a ball into the face of that sun baby?

      {That baby looks just like a golden Liam Byrne.}


      • 46
        jgm2 says:

        Sociology degree was it Bill?


      • 61
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        No. Iggle Piggle keeps on running up to the ball, and keeps on missing entirely, sometimes falling down, often making his trademark squeak as he does so. Considering that was made about 3 or 4 years ago at least, it seems a chillingly accurate prediction of the coalition.


        • 79

          Well I haven’t seen that one.
          There was a similar remarkably prescient episode of Night Garden in which the Tombliboos over extends on there 125% northern rock mortgage and have the tree repossessed.

          They have to move in with Upsy Daisy, who is then made redundant.


      • 118
        Airey Belvoir says:

        Has anyone else noticed that Steve Webb (on Daily Politics today) looks exactly like the boss alien in Galaxy Quest?


    • 86
      AC1 says:

      You often lick salamanders?


  10. 12
    Ex-Tory says:

    Aquascutum was ruined by Kim Windsor who arrived and left with huge pay-offs, spent £ms on employing her friends and PR/Marketing consultants. She ran up huge losses and the Japanese owners were forced to sell the business.


  11. 13
    Ed Balls says:

    I like Aquascrotum


  12. 15
    Lord Stansted says:

    Aquascutum’s problem was that few people knew how to pronounce its name.


  13. 16
    Ed says:

    Although I do like to don a Burberry cap when quaffing Greggs pasties to keep it real.

    innit blood


  14. 20
    i hate them all says:

    PMQs….what an embarrassment that those third rate arseholes continue to play their pathetic little point scoring games, immune to the contempt they are held in by the people of the United Kingdom


    • 112
      The Golem says:

      +1. I can’t watch it, dampens my spirits for the rest of the afternoon. What a pantomime.


  15. 21
    Jimmy says:

    Wasn’t there another politician always associated with Aquascutum?

    Name’s on the tip of my tongue..


    • 28

      Posted this to you last night but you would not have seen it:

      Don’t know why but I envisage Jimmy as a stocky bearded Glaswegian remedial school teacher who takes his charges down Sauchiehall Street of a night time for illegal tipples after which they drunkenly repair back down Union Street, over Glasgow Bridge and along Ballater Street, to the school’s computer room to run amok on this site. That would explain why they always turn up together.

      I realise that this could be a gross calumny and that he may really be a minister at some nice church of the Wee Frees or some other improbably unthinkable calling.

      G’night pal, whatever you are.


    • 34
      jgm2 says:

      Then the name must be buried deep up Tony Blair’s arse.


    • 51
      Maximus says:



    • 107
      Kat Tousha says:

      Not Akwascootum, but Gannex perhaps? ‘arold something wasn’t it?


    • 109
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      Gannex raincoats were founded by Joseph Kagan.

      Harold Wilson famously wore a Gannex raincoat. Kagan was knighted in Wilson’s resignation honours list in 1970, and in 1976 Wilson again honoured him, making him a life peer as Baron Kagan, of Elland in the County of West Yorkshire.

      Kagan was imprisoned in 1980 for 10 months for embezzlement from his own companies. he lost his knighthood, but remained a peer in the House of Lords until his death in 1996.

      Kagan funded Wilson’s private office. Kagan embezzled funds. Wilson repeatedly honoured him and put him in the Lords. Go figure.


      • 120
        Ironside says:

        Also wasn’t there a Russian connection ?
        Kagan had close ties to the Russians and was probably an asset of the USSR ?


    • 111
      Gobbets Raw says:

      Nah, it was Gannex!


  16. 24
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Once people heard Ed was wearing Aquascrotum, no fucker wanted to buy one… SIMPLES !


    • 42
      jgm2 says:

      Aye. Wasn’t it Alan Partridge who single-handedly dealt the Rover brand such a blow. Or was it the Ford Probe? I forget.

      Either way, Ned Miliband is the Alan Partridge of the sartorial universe.


    • 102
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      In a street near me there is a Rover 75 for sale. Unsold for months.

      In one window there is a sticker saying ‘Protected by Rover Security System’.

      I believe this security consists of the Rover badge on the bonnet, which deters anyone from stealing the car.


  17. 25
    Dave is a wet! says:

    Why at PMQs did Dave praise Galloway but snub a legitimate question from the excellent Douglas Carswell? Carswell must be tempted to defect to UKIP. This government needs to rediscover The Plan.


    • 30
      50 Cleaning Wipes says:

      Probably because Carswell was trying to make his boss look like a fool and Galloway was making himself look like a fool.


    • 31
      Lighten the fuck up, Doug says:

      It’s customary to congratulate a newly elected mp, and in Galloway’s case it’s also because he embarrassed Ed by taking a safe Labour seat. Carswell is a humourless twat who asked a pointless question about a Yes Minister related joke and he got the response he deserved.


      • 36
        £5 Off says:

        Have to say it was not Carswell’s finest hour. He has definitely gone down in my opinion.


        • 45
          chicken says:

          He’s a busted flush. Hadnt the balls to strike out and make the difference when he was well regarded now he’s swatted away contemptuously by Cameron


          • White Feather says:

            Quite. He talks big on his blog but when it comes to man to man confrontation he falls flat on his face.


    • 39
      screw the lot of them says:

      “the excellent Douglas Carswell” can stay on the Con bences. He made his bed, he can lie in it…


  18. 27
    Nad is Mad says:


  19. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the London Olympics well.


    • 54
      Lord Stansted says:

      Excellent – it’s fate is sealed.


      • 72
        Anonymous says:

        Hey Gordon can you do another one of your YouTube vids, the ones where you bop around trying to look as if you are human, smiling your rinctus grin. I miss not having a laugh.


    • 67

      ..back to our top story.
      272 jets, containing the Olympic teams of all the competing nations, crashed into each other over the skies of Heathrow. There are no survivors.

      Only the United kingdom Olympians were not involved, having all been killed by a freak tsunami along with the national soccer squad at the European football tournament earlier this year.


  20. 43
    anonymous says:

    is Hugh Robertson MP for the olympics a total prick like his boss dave?


  21. 47
    BBC NEWS says:

    Unemployment in the North West of England has gone up!


  22. 53
  23. 55
    Jungle Jim says:

    Did Ed marry a man? He looks like he might be married to EdB by the state of his nose I think there might have been a ‘domestic’


  24. 56
    Gromit says:

    Let’s face it no tailor is goung to surbive when his suites are worn by Wallace.


  25. 59
    Nick Park says:


  26. 62
    A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

    I thought Aquascutum was what happened to your ball sack after you had been a warm bath for to long


  27. 64
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Doncaster Rovers were relegated this week, has Ed been watching him.

    Am tempted to send him tickets for all of Man U’s remaining matches.


    • 80
      Bluebottle says:

      Someone has told me that Doncaster Rovers football stand was burnt down in a deliberate act of arson.

      That is truly awful


  28. 65
    notareargunner says:

    There’s no ME in Labor, not even an X. But Multibrands must be watching his Ozzie counterparts cos’ he’s full of the same stupid…http://fylde-bootnecks.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/what-labour-did-for-britain-labor-has.html I almost said shit but I didn’t. Have a nice day.


  29. 66
    Jimmy says:

    Well let’s face it, unemployment has skyrocketted over the last two years. Must be Ed. Stands to reason.


    • 70
      jgm2 says:

      Silly boy. It was the Maximum Imbecile who destroyed the economy – not Ned. Ned was the one who wrote the manifesto that only 28% of the voters believed in.

      He’s learned from that mistake though. He has no policies at all now.


    • 73
      JH says:

      It’s not the inevitable result of at least 10 years of woeful mismanagement of the economy preceding May 2010 then.

      You know, those years – the ones after 1997. The ones Labour don’t like to talk about now for some reason.

      Oh no, not that. The current government managed to somehow cause an immediate upward unemployment trend the second they entered No.10.

      Yeah, that sounds plausible.


    • 76
      A pragmatist says:

      Most of it in the public sector. Should be plenty of temp jobs coming up as a result of the Olympics.


    • 99
      David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap says:

      They were still booing him when we came on stage.


  30. 75
    John Moss says:

    Well, Greggs are certainly F***ed then.


  31. 77
    west end boy says:

    That Nick Boles doesnt convince me. He was better off when he sang for the Pet Shop Boys.


  32. 82
    When legend becomes fact print the legend says:

    It’s all starting to unravel…ECHR have just said that Abu Qatad CANNOT be deported before appeal to them and tanker drivers look like rejecting deal…..oh dear looks like Theresa was a bit previous in her statement to HoC



  33. 84
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    If i can summarise this thread

    1. Dave is useless

    2. Millipede is hopeless

    3. Homosexual marriages are taking place in Parliament

    4. Carswell is into merchant banking

    5. Galloway is respected but not liked

    6. People are paying taxes to support an economy which has been ‘ destroyed’.


  34. 91
    Handycock says:

    I buy my suits from Aquastucum.


  35. 93
    Alan Beith says:

    I get my suits from Man at C&A.


  36. 95
    Some Geezer wot's going to comment on "Emperor" Ed's new clothes says:

    How much will anyone wish to bet that Ed Wallyband was told by image-consultant types to wear a struggling clothing manufacturer’s products as a “Buy-British” gesture– “Simply wouldn’t do for you to wear one of those Italian designers, being an ex-Minister and the Leader of of the Opposition! No! This will show solidarity with the workers at Aquascutum, who will undoubtedly become redundant very soon if things don’t pick up– and you can help, Ed!” (The same types who tell Tom Watson he looks better in Buddy Holly specs than wire-rims– like tying a nice pink ribbon and bow around that bag of fertiliser.) In Ed’s case, almost anything he wears will make him look no different– a nerd with just enough fashion sense to wear a white shirt and not to clash the necktie and the jacket– and so the clothes worn must convey a different message.


  37. 119
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    What do you mean IS doomed?

    That bunch of losers have been doomed since day one..it just took Bliar and bBroon to nail the lid down


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