April 17th, 2012

The Penny is Dropping

Guido understands that Johann Hari’s close friend, protégé and replacement at the Indy “Laurie Penny” could be about to get caught up in a similar quote fabrication scandal. With the Indy’s terrible handling of one star’s demise, Guido does not imagine that their new £25,000 per annum columnist could, or would, receive the same leniency afforded to Hari.

Hari slayer Brian Whelan is up to something, but many have long suspected that the “voice of a generation” was actually listening to voices in her head. Take this correction to her infamous Guardian article about her alleged time spent taking her clothes off on a stage:

“This article was amended on 8 July 2009. Changes were made to the second paragraph to make clear that the author was not persuaded by the managers of a local burlesque troupe to get into stripping, but did so voluntarily. The Burlesque troupe, with which the author performed, created a new format for the show after the Edinburgh 2005 run, not before, as the article originally suggested. The sentence beginning “Peeling off my fluffy underwear…” was moved from the end of the relevant paragraph to the beginning to correct this impression.” The words “after I left” were added before “as my troupe became more successful” to make clear that Laurie Penny did not perform in the new show.”

If you read the article without the words “after I left”, it is a riveting personal read and once added it becomes clear that the second half is almost totally embellished. Guido is confident that the Indy would have done a full and thorough check up of their recent hire in the wake of the Hari scandal. Once was bad enough, but twice…

UPDATE:


322 Comments

  1. 1
    David Rose says:

    Couldnt happen to nicer person.

  2. 2
    Oy Vey says:

    I’ve been thinking this through, and whilst there appears to be a flaw in the Indy’s compliance processes I still would

    • 202
      Ivor Bigdick says:

      I’d like to invite her around my house, we can fabricate together all night baby.

  3. 3
    Ah! Monika says:

    £25K. Harri’s not Worth much

  4. 5
    Blagsie says:

    I can smell toast.

  5. 6
    Followed about by Edinburgh Delusional Scum. says:

    She is a truly pathetic attention seeking Mong! A middle class little girl taking on Socialist causes. The delusional Penny should get a proper job at Gregs Bakery fighting VAT. Jog On Socialist Mong!

  6. 7
    jgm2 says:

    I predict a torrent of tweets in which she equates folk questioning the accuracy of her stories as ‘rapists’, ‘misogynists’,’sexists’,’bigots’,’Nazis’ and the entire panoply of shrieky leftist keywords with which they seek to close down any discussion.

  7. 8
    I am not responsible for a sad pathetic Mong! says:

    So!

  8. 10
    joescotus says:

    she e was paid for typing drivel like this?

  9. 11
    jgm2 says:

    25K? Not much of a return for seven years (?) at Uber expensive, uber-selective Brighton College and a degree from Oxford. If I were her parents I’d be looking for my money back.

  10. 12
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    Somehow I have a feeling the comments on this entry are going to become even more of a cess pit than usual?

    Old men behind computer screens frothing at the mouth over a young girl, won’t be long before the really vile shit starts being posted, much like last time.

    • 17
      joescotus says:

      your absolutly spot on

    • 21
      You are Laurie Penny and I claim my free Conspiracy Member T-Shirt says:

      Fuck off you attention seek mong!

    • 22
      JH says:

      Awww, poor ikkle Penny. At least she has you to protect her.

    • 29
      Marmite says:

      If you’re so offended by this blog “show biz”, why don’t you just do one? By the way, I am NOT an old man, and IF I consider some-one is spouting shite, then I will say so. So, you can bog off!

      • 52
        Show Biz for ugly people says:

        Hilarious

        banging on about the right to speak one’s mind whilst telling those who dissent from the groupthink on here to leave

        irony overload

      • 64
        Show Biz for ugly people says:

        Hilarious

        banging on about the right to speak one’s mind whilst telling those who dis sent from the group think on here to leave

        irony overload

      • 177
        Anonymous says:

        That’s right, you’re not an old man, you’re a schoolboy.

    • 36
      A Brane Surgeon says: says:

      Its already here. You are here. Ergo, go figure. Shobiz

    • 51

      I am an old man. but I know enough to sit in front of a computer screen, not behind it. As Penny is a dab hand at posting vile shit,she’s left herself open to a bit of response in kind, but please, gentlemen, no wanking over the keyboard.

    • 78
      Rh- says:

      hey …. less of the old!

    • 92
      A pragmatist says:

      Ageist!

    • 101
      AC1 says:

      u
      luv
      it.

    • 193
      W.W. says:

      Young girl?

      The whining bag is 25 not 10.

      Playing the sympathy card a little early aren’t you

      W.W.

    • 207
      Objective Reality says:

      Nope Show Biz, I don’t think the picture you allude to of old men in an orgy masturbation at the keyboard over a young woman is accurate. There are better women over which to fantasize. Nope Penny elicits our ire because to be absolutely truthful, she isn’t clever enough to hold her political belief systems together when faced with logic and reasoning and at that point she becomes quite a vile little creature.

    • 244
      the truth says:

      Showbiz for UP,
      YOu should shoot yourself you dull bastard.

  11. 13
    Debate says:

    Totty Watch?

  12. 14
    Respect MY privacy! I am a human being with rights. Not a second class citizen to be exploited by Mongs! Pay me damages! Then Jog On! says:

    Jog On Mong!

  13. 15
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    “shit in newspaper is actually shit” shocker.

  14. 16
    jgm2 says:

    Could I be the first to comment on Ms Penny’s splendid pearl necklace. I wonder who gave her that?

  15. 19
    Damocles says:

    £25K? Really? Are all journos so poorly paid? Pay peanuts …

  16. 23
    Rh- says:

    having read one of her columns its obvious she’s listening to voices in her head. Not sure you can crucify her cause she’s a fantasist … you’d have to wipe out every socialist!

  17. 24
    Rh- says:

    my moneys on Balls … he likes to interact with pretty young socialist things!

  18. 25
    Loungelizard says:

    Jest not, this is the new Polly Tonybee, an under study waiting in the wings soon to assume the hectoring tones of St Polly.

    • 34
      jgm2 says:

      It’ll be a fight to the death with that whiny schoolboy Owen Jones chap for Polly’s pay-cheque.

      My money is on Laurie though. She ticks the same boxes as Polly. White, private school, Oxford (hell, Laurie even finished uni instead of just treating it as something to get into), she’s done the crappy jobs (burlesque) to establish her ‘working class’ credentials and, TOP TRUMP, she’s a girl.

      Laurie.

      Although Polly might get put out by a pretty young thing muscling in on her turf and put the ‘fix’ in for young Jonesy just to spite her. Women hate younger, prettier women.

      • 42
        Loungelizard says:

        Good analysis.

      • 46
        Peter Hitchens says:

        Telll that to a Lesbian in Holloway

      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        That description could also fit Owen !

      • 136

        But Owen has the gay card. That trumps the feminist card. And he’s sort of working class. or he’s met a working class or something.
        They’re both equally unaware of how real work, business, taxation, finance etc works. So that’s a draw.

        This one’s going to run for a bit. Each junior having to increase their lefty credentials through flying pickets, stupid soundbites, weeping over a deported religious cleric, dodging soap, supporting the Euro and so on.
        Polly will be safe for a good few years yet.

        I bet Owen is cursing his stupid mother for not getting a good syringe worth’s of high grade Nubian sperm. If he had a bit of colour to him, instead of looking paler than Casper’s milky bar, he’d be a shoo in.

        The again poor lad can’t even grow decent lefty facefuzz. A Rowan Williams is beyond his smooth cheeks. I expect even a Lenin, Che, or even a little Mehdi Hassan jaw line whisker wouldn’t take root properly.

        And Laurie looks she could grow a bush so thick that it could sprout tomatoes.

        • 139
          jgm2 says:

          Gay card trumps feminist card? Really? What if Laurie claims she’s gay too? It might even be true – not that it matters where the bedwetters are involved.

          Then Laurie is surely holding pocket aces in the winner-takes-all poker game for Polly’s job.

      • 141
        timhard richney says:

        Window dressing like Harriet Harman and Jacqui Smith never had that problem!

  19. 27
    JH says:

    It’s a bit mean for people to complain about Penny making stuff up.

    After a century of Socialism being proven to time and again lead to authoritarianism if not industrial scale slaughter, the left is utterly bereft of any cogent argument about how to improve life in this country in any objective sense.

    What the fuck else are they supposed to do apart from make shit up? Show some mercy for Christ’s sake.

  20. 28
    Mil.i.band says:

    She is another deluded fundamentalist who believes the ends justifies the means. These political extremists are as bad as the religious nutters. Stupid little girl.

  21. 30
    Reality-based community says:

    Eventually she will be obliged to join us.

  22. 31
    CLINT Cameron says:

    It is very apparent that you do not indeed have to have talent to get a job in the media these days

    • 35
      JH says:

      Nope, just show you are willing to tow the Islington Metrosexual Lefty Trendy line, and you are in.

      Particularly if you have nine grand to throw about. The Guardian would love to hear from you.

  23. 32
    Mehdi Assams says:

    Crusader zealots!!

  24. 33
    Doh! says:

    Even if she does get sacked she will still end up as a Labour Mp within 10 years.

  25. 37
    Child Killing Rights for all Women! says:

    • 43
      jgm2 says:

      So that’s what women mean by a ‘bad hair’ day.

    • 76
      Slartibartfast says:

      Always actice, active, active and never giving herself a chance to grow up. Leftism is infantilism.

    • 240
      Guardian reader,foaming at the mouth says:

      She is right, I can’t wait for her to be given an important job at the BBC. We need to push forward with reproductive rights. To me it is an appalling injustice that women are being forced to keep children even after they are born. I am part of the pro-choice majority. If a modern, career-driven, feminist woman doesn’t want her career to be interrupted she should be able to have an abortion anytime within nine months after birth too. Don’t let the anti-choice white males hold us back.

      Abortions for all!

    • 304
      Da Southall Black Sistas says:

      Wonder how this dopey cow reconciles her support for abortion with the all too predictable consequences of it in certain traditional Asian communities?

  26. 38
    Now I amgoing to be followed about by delusional w@nkst@ins junkie cows in Edinburgh. says:

    This is just tedious!

  27. 39
    Respect MY privacy! I am a human being with rights. Not a second class citizen to be exploited by Mongs! Pay me damages! Then Jog On! says:

    The Independent is crap

  28. 40
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Yes Hari Khols sister is far more worth a pumping
    Call me old fashioned bt this young lady shouid be whipped through the streets of London before being made to suck Ken Livingstones cock as people throw shit at the pair of them

    • 41
      jgm2 says:

      You can get jailed for suggesting folk throw shit about. Particularly if you call ‘em c*unts.

      So I won’t do that.

      • 63
        Peter Hitchens says:

        I was not implying that the shit should hit the fan (of Lenin) or indeed this charming young lady I just had a thought that it might add to the gaiety of the Jubilee if she were to perform oral sex upon the failed Labour mayoral candidate before an audience of cHeery Cokneys armed with horse shit from Hyde park deliberately aimed to miss

        • 71
          jgm2 says:

          I thought that it was something like that which you had in mind but better to clarify these things lest folk get the wrong idea.

      • 209
        Objective Reality says:

        This board is in the USA and as such is protected under 1st Amendment rights.

    • 90
      Polly Seewonk says:

      “Call me old fashioned bt this young lady shouid be whipped through the streets of London before being made to suck Ken Livingstones cock as people throw shit at the pair of them”

      How long before we can expect this in a Party Political Broadcast?

    • 168
      no longer anonymous says:

      Are you the classic Peter Hitchens who used to post here in 2007?

    • 310
      Archie says:

      Your best article yet, Mr. Hitchens!

  29. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Who gave her the pearl necklace?

  30. 45
    Backwoodsman says:

    bast**rd, you beat me to it !!!

  31. 47
    Scamp - The Excitable Dog. says:

    The silly red-haired oaf is a bigger tourist than Judith Chalmers.
    She’s like a TOWIE wanabee, let’s shame it out asap and then hopefully it might fuck off.

    • 49
      jgm2 says:

      The silly red-haired oaf is a bigger tourist than Judith Chalmers.

      Really? How does she afford to live in London and take all these foreign holidays you allude to on a mere 25K a year?

      Are you sure of these holidays? Tell us more.

      • 66
        Tyler Durden's Underpants says:

        Think you’ll find Scamp means ‘Tourist’ as in the ‘life’ sense JG.

        • 75
          Gonk says:

          Judith….. no, no, no, noooooooooooooooooooooo

        • 77
          jgm2 says:

          Oh. Okay. If you say so. I did think Judith Chalmers used to do some holiday program back in the day so I thought it might be a reference to some globe-trotting lifestyle.

          For the workers you understand.

  32. 48
    Not a second class citizen. Don't walk over MY Rights and expect to get away with it. Pay damages. says:

    Whatever happened to Hari? What’s he doing now? Writing fiction?

    • 58
      Loungelizard says:

      Could say that, helping Eddie The Fruit Bat with Labor party manifesto.

      • 144
        joescotus says:

        heard he has a chronic anal fissure…..emm ….he is a chonic anal fissure cant make my mind !

  33. 50
    Frightened Inmate #2 says:

    Guido you’d give an aspirin a headache. That’s one hell of a contorted description of supposed wrongdoing. Oh and it’s protégée for females.

    People saying £25K/year isnt much – it’s £500 for a weekly article which takes ~1 hour to make-up^D^D^D^D^D^D^D research.

    • 113
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      What happened to Frightened Inmate #1? Did he do a runner?

    • 122

      I think you will find that ^C – ^V is the modern method.

      Also known as copy pasta.

      • 125
        Frightened Inmate #2 says:

        Sorry I should probably stop using that joke now as it’s incomprehensible to anyone under 35.

        • 128
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          Thanks for the explanation — but I am 112.

        • 132

          Don’t worry. There is some rule of the internet that states that there is no one under the age of 60 (like the no women rule) when we know that most of them are school aged.

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            About ^C^V — I think he meant ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H — see, I really am 112 and cut my teeth on a screenless terminal (printout only) in 1973. In Harlow New Town of all places, where the tower block inmates got rid of unwanted tellies by throwing them out of the window. Another little recreation was setting fire to parked cars, Cortinas being the favourites as I recall.

          • Ah! The old backspace. You really are 112, aren’t you? ;-)

            Penny Red could use some of those for her entire output.

  34. 54
    Gonk says:

    Assorted piercings, tunnels, tattoos etc are essential requirements for the upwardly mobile ‘lefty’. I’m looking forward to discovering Gordon had a Maori war symbol on his arse. Strangely, if he did he would go up in my estimation.

  35. 55
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I notice that the BBC seem to have lost their ‘impartial’ beliefs over Breivik. The words ‘nutter’ and ‘idiot’ along with BBC types on the radio telling us that it’s right that his views should have been silenced this morning.

    but compare that to how the BBC treats the IRA or Muslim terrorists. The BBC then believes they are simply ‘angered’ by western policies and that they have a right to be heard (even if they’ve killed people by the thousand). Remember how the BBC went out of it’s way to ensure WE heard the words of Gerry Adams when Maggie had the IRA silenced?

    The BBC should also notice that Brievik actually killed white Norwegians for the most part, he didn’t go and attack a Mosque.

    The BBC were very sympathetic to the Muslim mong who murdered those Jewish kids in France, but then again we know the BBC hates Jews.

    • 173
      BBC Beedoid says:

      You better be paying your TV tax Mr daisy cutter! I think we best send a detector van round and a few goons to make sure your getting the correct propaganda.

    • 315
      jgm2 says:

      The bedwetters are very keen to have those whose ideologies they don’t agree with silenced. Hence the ‘no platform’ for the B&P and ‘racists’ and global warming sceptics but very quick to listen to the views of those who oppose their enemies.

      It’s ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend’ doctrine at the BBC. So a failed murder of Fatch gets you unlimited access to the airways. Likewise murdering several thousand Americans (and other nationalities) suddenly has the bedwetters insisting that Islam be taught to our children in schools. WTF. Why not just run the video coverage of 9/11 and the ensuing street party of Palestinians dancing in the street – that’ll tell you all you need to know about Islam.

  36. 60

    Huge numbers turn up for Ken Livingstone Rally.

    <img src="http://twitpic.com/show/thumb/9aweap.jpg&quot; width="

  37. 61
    Electric Cigarettes are Cool Kids! says:

    • 72
      Peter Hitchens says:

      she is pure fucking jail bait
      no wonder Brillo was so keen

      • 85
        annette curton says:

        Jail bait?, believe it or not she is 26.

        • 91
          jgm2 says:

          Going on 13.

          • I don't need no doctor says:

            Brillo wanted to borrow her furry underwear. Nudge, nudge.

          • Mr Chips says:

            Jesus she’s a fucking moron, if this is the best the Workers Vanguard can trot out then £22k is way too much, I’m sure she’ll hook up with some Banker in an ironic way and wave goodby to the Comrades in the near future

        • 111
          jgm2 says:

          Like those ‘misogynists’ who were watching her during her burlesque career?

          Little Laurie Penny dresses up in burlesque gear and shakes her little(?) tush and then gets all screechy because the punters were getting off on it? Errrrr. What did you think you were doing Laurie?

        • 321
          Ikram Danielson says:

          Stone ?

      • 118
        jgm2 says:

        I don’t think so. But maybe others know better.

      • 157
        Everything you need to know about this stupid woman-child says:

        Shes fake.

    • 149
      imho says:

      So cool, so adult, so thick.

  38. 62
    Some Geezer wot says not a Penny for THIS one's thoughts says:

    Check her passport. She may not even have been in New York, let alone been saved by Ryan Gosling. And what was that stupidity about traffic coming from the “wrong” direction, because she’s English? Avenues in New York are one-way (Google Earth); depending on which way she’s walking, east or west, and which avenue she’s crossing, at least half the time the traffic IS from the “right” direction! You’d think she’d have noticed! Thick as a brick! Laurie Not-Even-Worth-A-Farthing is a waste of good oxygen and certainly not worth the 25K she’s getting for the bollocks she calls a column.

    • 70
      Peter Hitchens says:

      So obviously a fag hag to Hari Botter

    • 80
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      The Daily Caller had an item about Ryan Gosling wishing he hadn’t bothered coming to the assistance of our Penny. Afterwards he thought she was an ungrateful, mouthy cow who was the architect of her own problems.

    • 81

      As David ‘Hari’ Rose said to her “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

  39. 65
    joescotus says:

    showbiz ..how are the posts working out for you?

  40. 67
    JH says:

    Last time I read her blog, she was having some desperately metrosexual affair with someone disabled. She then started babbling on about how all the posters probably regarded her as a SLUTWHORE [sic].

    Give her credit, the girl wants attention and knows how to get it.

    • 108
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      >the girl wants attention and knows how to get it

      Vraiment, as this thread amply proves. I heard her wittering away on the wireless and added her name to the long, long list of people I no longer need to bother about.

  41. 68
    Red Lorry says:

    You jealous swine.

    Can’t you see that Truthiness* is superior to Truth?

    *copyright Piers Morgan

  42. 82
    an old man who's seen it all says:

    who is this woman and. why is any body giving her houseroom??

    these wannabes are two a penny excuse the
    play on word. they. sink dutifully into the gloaming once their fifteen
    minutes are up—– possibly to labour in a hairdressers for the rest of their existence .

    get. a decent story guido please or you’ll. drive me to the absinth
    which i believe it is still. legal to. drink in uk.

  43. 84
    an old man who's seen it all says:

    no.w. i’ve really seen it all….
    …. what could possibly in the namef of heaven be. subjefct to the great moderator in. my last. missive???

  44. 94
    Not a second class citizen. Don't walk over MY Rights and expect to get away with it. Pay damages. says:

    The Delusional Penny whose ideal self -a working class hero- is in conflict with her real self -a middle class idiot, she is a useful muppet for someone’s game to be played out in the media. Shallow.

  45. 96
    I don't need no doctor says:

    A lesbian hair style with pearls? Issues!

  46. 97
    I don't need no doctor says:

    A lesbian hair style with p e a r l s? Issues!

  47. 100
    A pragmatist says:

    One question. Who threw paint on her head?

  48. 104
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Laurie Penny’s interview with Elvis is in tomorrow’s Indy.

    • 151
      If you apply lippy to a pig, it's still a pig (but with lippy on) says:

      She met him in that fish and chip shop on Mars last Tuesday.

  49. 109
    Just one question says:

    Do lesbos get their k.ni.ckers off? or are they tough enough – like the true scots – to go au natural under their sporran?

    I only ask bcos of the red hair or is she oirish?

    (Nsr NOT required)

    • 117
      Cornishboy says:

      Wish I could write for the independent must be the easiest job ever. Just blame the White man for every disaster like some red Indian and just harp on about climate change oh and the evils of motorcars and plane travel (daddies villa in Tuscany and the range rover are allowed though) although given my parents that’s the old van and caravan holiday in Devon.

  50. 116
    I'm a member of the Metropolitan Lefty Elite... says:

    And even I’m going to enjoy this defenestration. She’s insufferable.

    • 121
      penny dreadful says:

      Give her a couple of kids and some furry animals to look after; she’ll be sorted, and we can be spared her plastic socialist grandstanding.

  51. 126
    Laurie Penny says:

    I’m currently writing an article about my personal experience on board the Titanic. I witnessed Tories throwing babies into the freezing water.

    • 146
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      The remains of the babies, after the evil Tories had grabbed them by the ankles, swung them in the air and violently dashed their heads on the deck. Whilst laughing.

      • 159
        Margret Thatcher says:

        I beat you all by stealing their milk first, hehehehehehehehe….

        • 176
          The Angel of Dearth says:

          “I was on the lifeboat. We were all on the lifeboats. Everyone was saved. But then there was a scream, the insane scream of the banshees. It was the Tories. They had brought their boats nearer to ours, and with an awful, sickening bloodlust, they rammed us. They had marked out the boats of the poor, the oppressed, of the *workers*, and were ramming them. We, the poor, were aghast. How could they be so cruel? The Tories’ eyes were wide now, wide with hate. They shouted with joy as the workers fell over the gunwalls and slipped into the icy water, sinking into the deep etc etc etc.” – Laurie Penny.

          Note to Indy/Grudian: when LP gets sacked, you can hire me. I can write this shit in my sleep.

          • The Guardian are desperate for new, talented writers such as yourself, to make up for all the real journalists they’ve sacked.

            I urge you to send in this piece for approval. I fully expect you to be an accredited Guardian ‘cybernet-source-truth-teller’ by lunchtime.

            Obviously the pay isn’t much, in fact nothing. But then you need pay no tax, so it all balances out.

            And you might get to be on the next Guardian advert.

            I think its about starving Goldilocks being wrongly jailed for looting porridge and criminal damage to chairs at the three bears house.

          • C H Lightoller says:

            Miss Penny survived? Well d–n it all! I knew there was something I forgot to do in all that kerfuffle!

  52. 129
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    If she wants to get her kit off good luck to the girl as her tits dont exactly droop to the floor.

    English men are unbelievable. They spend all day talking about sex and all night too.

  53. 130
    will says:

    The problem with having to write a weekly column is that it is quite hard to come up with something original each week. So they end up repeating the same stuff al la polly toynbee. Also thye usually are the type who despite claining to understand the poor in reality have had a good education or connections with rich parents who bail them out. They are just poverty tourists, notice how many do not live on the stockwell park estate or other rough estates in london and suffer the consequenses of the underclass.

  54. 133
    Johann Hari says:

    Just last night I was telling Lord Lucan that Laurie is a dodgy writer. You only have to ask Jimmy Hoffa with whom I had dinner last week. He agreed with me that Laurie can’t be trusted, and Darth Maul also concurred.

  55. 134
  56. 135
    Ed Miliband says:

    I’ve never seen Star Wars. Star Trek on the other hand…

  57. 142
    Question Time says:
  58. 150
    Polly Seewonk says:

    I can’t wait not to watch it.

    I’ll keep an eye out for the repeat, and not watch that as well.

    *mutters*
    I really must get to grips with watching tv over the internet, then tell the Beeb I’m no longer financially sponsoring their smug self-righteous stupidity.

  59. 154
    Not a second class citizen. Don't walk over MY Rights and expect to get away with it. Pay me damages. says:

    22k? Not bad for writing tripe about getn tits out for the boys.

  60. 160
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I am sure the girl who has poured a pot of paint over her head has very nice breasts but I would rather have a look at Herbie Smith’s independent report about private individuals paying 250 grand to Cameron to adopt their policies on the statute book.

  61. 163
    WVM says:

    I would.

  62. 167
    English Liberation Front says:

    I bet she disapproves of fracking and shale gas too.

  63. 181
    A Plonker Posing as PM says:

    I say chaps!! – is Mr Catarrhda comfortable – watt?

    I only ask because he’ll be staying with us a good long time – n’er mind the headline news! – watt?

    And this global warming scam really has the common people fooled – watt? – they think it’s hot! Ha hah hah hah ha!

    • 182
      BBC NEWS says:

      Tory cuts, pasty tax, man made global warming is real, the EU is our future, vote Labour, baby eating Tories, Ashcroft, multiculturalism is wonderful, feel the enrichment or we’ll call you a NAZI, vote Labour, pay your TV Tax, Tory cuts, pasty tax, man made global warming is real, the EU is our future, vote Labour, baby eating Tories, Ashcroft, multiculturalism is wonderful, feel the enrichment or we’ll call you a NAZI, vote Labour, pay your TV Tax.

      Now here’s the hot hot weather with our hot hot Laura Tobin.

  64. 187
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    When will these mong like journalists put the greeny loons on the spot?

    I’ve not heard one journalist ask a greeny today about how wind and solar power can provide ALL our power needs when both sources are so unreliable, neither source can produce energy that can be stored to be used at peak times and neither source can produce electricity when demand requires it.

    Have you noticed they never have a proper electrical power distribution engineer on to explain the problems with this and that you’d have to load shed parts of the Country to prevent a total collapse of the national grid.

    Someone should challenger the greens to make their favourite bum hole Brighton totally reliant on green power, cut it off totally from the national grid and see how they get on.

  65. 194
    joescotus says:

    it confounds me how many left wing arseholes fetch up on this blog read the label idiots naw keep posting boys

    • 263

      Don’t worry too much as they are all closet capitalists.

      Otherwise why would they be assisting Guido’s tills to sound Kerching!

      • 292
        Cato Street Conspirator says:

        As a left wing arsehole, I come here because it’s bloody entertaining, it doesn’t cost me a penny and left wing libertarians share contempt for all politicians with right wing libertarians.

  66. 195

    I’m going for a pint.

  67. 199
    Reason says:

    Only for the credibility points.

  68. 208
    stevetierneyuk says:

    Guido! Sort your ads out!

    Upon arriving on your site I’m getting virus blocks and warnings from them.

    As Follows:-

    Danger: Surf-Shield has detected active threats on this page and has blocked access for your protection.

    The page you are trying to access has been identified as a known exploit, phishing, or social engineering web site and therefore has been blocked for your safety. Without protection, such as that in the AVG Security Toolbar and AVG, your computer is at risk of being compromised, corrupted or having your identity stolen. Please follow one of the suggestions below to continue.

    URL: img-cdn.mediaplex.com/0/710/ArialBold.swf
    Name: Virus identified SWF/Downloader

    • 211
      Fucking Gobsmacked! says:

      Fuck me Guido, I don’t have virus notifications, but I switched to Firefox with Ghostry add on and you have twenty fucking three add bots. I know you want some money mate but for fuck sake you have more advertising shit than Facefuck.

      • 215

        you’ve probably installed the firefox add on – ‘Nonce-aware’

        Check your error codes and it will say -

        “A picture of Ed Miliband attempted to upload – Image removed for your safety and sanity.
        Lefty troll alert – this page contains 127 left wing comments.
        126 incomprehensible, hypocritical, patently unworkable and contradicting comments have been removed. One socialist comment from Jimmy remains as its quite amusing.

        Your intelligence remains protected and own money secure.”

        • 272

          Don’t know why but I envisage Jimmy as a stocky bearded Glaswegian remedial school teacher who takes his charges down Sauchiehall Street of a night time for illegal tipples after which they drunkenly repair back down Union Street, over Glasgow Bridge and along Ballater Street, to the school’s computer room to run amok on this site. That would explain why they always turn up together.

          I realise that this could be a gross calumny and that he may really be a minister at some nice church of the Wee Frees or some other improbably unthinkable calling.

          G’night pal, whatever you are.

    • 229
      Tachybaptus says:

      Fоr sеνеrаl mоnths І hаνе hаd Guіdо’s blоg lосkеd dоwn tіghtеr thаn а duсk’s аrsеhоlе wіth АdBlосk аnd bу blосkіng sсrірts іn іt wіth Сhrоmе’s buіlt-іn Јаνаsсrірt blосkеr. Τhіs іs thе оnlу раgе оn thе wеb fоr whісh І hаνе hаd tо dерlоу thе full wоrks. Sо І hаνе а раgе wіthоut аnу аdνеrtіsеmеnts, whісh lоаds quісklу. YоuΤubе сlірs арреаr аs blасk squаrеs, whісh іs usuаllу а mеrсу. Іf аnу оf thеsе sоunds аs іf іt mіght bе іntеrеstіng, І lооk аt іt wіth Іntеrnеt Еxрlоdеr, but thіs tаkеs аt lеаst fіνе tіmеs аs lоng tо lоаd thе раgе аnd рrоduсеs sоmеthіng thаt lооks lіkе а tаrt’s bоudоіr.

      І еxресt thіs соmmеnt tо bе rеmоνеd mаnuаllу quіtе sооn.

    • 255
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Guido’s site is just a pile of bloatware, dodgy adverts and nasty crap and that’s just the vote for Ken adverts

  69. 214
    Yvette's Blooper says:

    Just saw a clip of Mrs Blinky in the Commons blaming the government for Abu Craptada. Christ on a bike, she looked like she’d buried her face in a bowl of pancake make-up. Even a drag queen would balk at the amount of foundation she had on.

  70. 220
    Tim Montgomerie's 10 inch black dildo says:

    Penny Dreadful on the 2010 Millbank student riots:

    >Glass is being thrown; I fling myself behind a barrier and
    >scramble on to a ledge for safety. A nonplussed school pupil
    >from south London has had the same idea. He grins, gives
    >me a hand up and offers me a cigarette of which he is at least
    >two years too young to be in possession. I find that my teeth
    >are chattering and not just from cold. “It’s scary, isn’t it?” I
    >ask. The boy shrugs. “Yeah,” he says, “I suppose it is scary.
    >But frankly…” He lights up, cradling the contraband fag,
    >”frankly, it’s not half as scary as what’s happening to our future.”

    Can’t see why anyone would think that sort of quote was fabricated.

    • 227
      Seth the pig farmer says:

      Absolutely the last sentence was in fact:

      “not half as scary as what Labour has done to our future”.

    • 228
      The Worlds most stupid person says:

      No this article is as truthful as you can get, I firmly believe that conversation really happened exactly as reported.

    • 313
      jgm2 says:

      She completely made those comments up. If not the entire scenario.

      16 year old kid worried about his future? Ha! As if. There’s a reason Moira’s toyboy is trying to get the voting age down to 16 in Fucking Scotland. Sixteen year olds don’t stop for one second to think about the consequences of their actions let alone worry about the future.

  71. 221
    Battyboy says:

    Laurie Penny is delusional and a liar. Read some of her articles about her part in the recent student protest. What a twunt.

  72. 222
    Nurse says:

    Now children it’s bedtime, I really do believe that the average age in here tonight is 11, Now run along to bed, all of you ,Yes even you.

  73. 225
    PC clitoris says:

    what’s to talk about she’s just a daft schoolgirl who sits on her rent book.lets not make her famous just for being stupid.

  74. 231
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Pretty young woman who is probablay a lezza misguided by Maosist zi onist propaganda
    She needs a good fuc k ingf and a good har stylist followed by a good slapping

  75. 234
    David Rose says:

    Denis Macshame on Newsnight. WTF?

    • 242
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      People still watch Newsnight?? WTF!

    • 246
      The CPS says:

      We’re still looking into the files.

      Seems McShame has rented his garage to himself and billed you lot for the cash.
      £200,000 +.

      But seeing how you Tory scum are fucking about with our gold plated, super early retirement pensions, we’re going to do fuck all about it.

  76. 236
    Peter Hitchens says:

    A lap dancer with hair the colour of s baboons arsehole speakswhilst sucking on a crack pipe
    Hardly Bronte is it?

  77. 241
    Sir William Waad says:

    Is that an alien, crouching on her head?

    • 248
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      I’ve been wondering about that.

      I think it’s just a shite late-1980s haircut, the sort of thing the ‘travelers’ (you know, the ones who wore the army-surplus green parkas with the West German flag on each arm) would carve onto their heads before hitch-hiking to Stone Henge once a year (and they stopped doing that after Dinah McNicol went missing).

  78. 245
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Fairy tales from Snotland.

  79. 249
    Brat Watch says:
    • 251
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Get fucked

    • 252
      Great British Public says:

      We can hardly wait.

    • 260

      It is hard to think of a better reason to increase the pace of hostilities.

    • 266
    • 267
      Like a bunny rabbit on a frying pan. says:

      Wooooh, what a slag!

    • 268
      Media Whore says:

      It’s all about ME!

    • 273
      JH says:

      Nice suit.

    • 283
      A pragmatist says:

      Polyamorous? Does she fuck parrots?

    • 288
      Career Marxist Penny Red says:

      See how in touch with the working classes I am? I even talk like them.

    • 289
      English Liberation Front says:

      What is polyamorous? Does it mean you like plastic things?

      Gosh how I envy your exciting, edgy life amongst the great and the good. Your opportunity to influence the public narrative and drive us even further down the path of bonkers, barmy socialist dystopia and multi-culti hell. How exciting it must be to be one of the cheerleaders of the great and noisy socialist mob spouting those same old words on the shared script and giving us old timers the benefit of your 26 years of experience and wisdom. Me, I’m just a boring old insurgent who wants to turn the tables as the socialist screw keeps tightening.

  80. 259
    iainspaton says:

    Penny Red isn’t a Johann Hari. I cringed at her spider-story on Comment Is Free (£80 an article), probably not for the reasons she intended (as it struck me as made-up bollocks) but her stuff is tame by comparison to the egregious Hari, or indeed Robert Fisk, perhaps the granddaddy of them all according to Private Eye.

    Fair play to her, she was quick to acknowledge her book was a niche-interest political pamphlet, when she was poked over the use or attribution of quotes. It is not mainstream journalism, it is not Orwell Prize material, it is opinion column stuff with a fairly limited outlook and appeal, embellished a bit to jazz it up, same as most mainstream opinion column stuff, which tends to be boring and self-indulgent.

  81. 261
    Talks like a robot running on empty says:

    I think Labour’s Rachel Reeves has quite possibly the most annoying voice in politics, if not the world. She always talks in a monotone drone.

    • 269
      Rubik says:

      I reckon she came out of the same test-tube as Ed.

    • 275
      Battyboy says:

      True dat. And she talks some serious bollocks with that voice.

    • 285
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Agree about her mournful voice but it’s a close thing with the uber affected voice of peston, which is probably like it is to hide its poshness.

      And I bet peston eats in a very affected manner too.

    • 286
      Sky's Peter Poofter says:

      Look boys, I speak the best bollox around here

  82. 262
    Laurie's principles says:

    I wonder how much of her £22,000 salary Laurie donates to charity? As a self-proclaimed socialist, surely she should only ask for a salary that is subsistence only? Isn’t a basic tenet of socialism that one’s wages only be “each according to his needs”? Doesn’t £22 grand leave too much expendable income for Laurie to make use of?

    And does she live on a council estate so she can live among the people she claims to represent? Or does she live in a nice middle class area? A bit like workers champion Billy Bragg who lives in a mansion in an all white gated community near the sea.

  83. 264
    Laurie's principles says:

    I wonder how much of her £22,000 Laurie donates to charity? As a self-proclaimed socialist, surely she should only ask for pay that is subsistence only? Isn’t a basic tenet of socialism that one’s wages only be “each according to his needs”? Doesn’t £22 grand leave too much expendable income for Laurie to make use of?

    And does she live on a council estate so she can live among the people she claims to represent? Or does she live in a nice middle class area? A bit like workers’ champion Billy Bragg who lives in a mansion in a gated community near the sea.

  84. 265
    Laurie's principles says:

    I wonder how much of her £22,000 Laurie dònates to chàrity? As a self-proclaimed socialist, surely she should only ask for pay that is subsistence only? Isn’t a basic tenet of socialism that one’s wages only be “each according to his needs”? Doesn’t £22 grand leave too much expendable income for Laurie to make use of?

    And does she live on a council estate so she can live among the people she claims to represent? Or does she live in a nice middle class area?

    • 270
      Paradox says:

      A champagne socialist?

    • 277
      Penny For The Guy says:

      Or does she even live in the UK? Seems to be spending a lot of time in New York these past several months. If she’s living in New York, it’s on the Upper West Side, and the rent ain’t cheap. It’s the native habitat of what the Yanks call “Limousine Liberals,” their term for Champagne Socialists. They’d assume she was intelligent because of her “delightful” English accent, and ask her for all kinds of fashion tips, seeing as she comes from “edgy” London. She would not be allowed to pay for a drink at any of the trendy wine bars there. They’d ask her who all the “up-and-coming” bands in the UK are. And she might even encounter Ryan Gosling (and act stupid, again). Oh, she’s got to have a neat little racket going in New York when she’s there, I’m sure of it– why would she want to live in London, when she can so easily send copy via e-mail to the Independent? Look for her to spend even more time in New York, with the Presidential Election in November; she will undoubtedly feel the urgent need to report on what it all will mean to the future of Western Civilisation as only she can do. (“Remember, remember, the 6th of November!” or some equivalent horseshit.)

      • 298
        One can hope says:

        And maybe she’ll go for a stroll in Central Park one summer’s evening, because the warnings about doing so are just ‘conservative hysteria’.

        And her remains get found by a dogwalker just after sunrise.

      • 300
        M*dbot's going mad again today says:

        And maybe she’ll go for a stroll in Central Park one summer’s evening, because the warnings about doing so are just ‘conservative hysteria’.

        And her remains get found by a dogwalker just after sunrise.

  85. 271
    not a machine says:

    That has to be best rumour of the day that Ed may offer surprise EU referrendum , I dont even know who speaks for the EU on eds shadow cabinet , I mean there is political downplaying , but thats slightly different to non existant .

    Fracking : being as it seems graphics make up for science these days , the words that tripped so effortlessly was , high pressure water sand and er Chemicals . Whilst I can see that shale gas fills a usefull energy void , I am a little surprised that there isnt another way of fracturing the shale that is less hassel , have they tried ultra sonic ?? plain hp pulsed steam ?? .
    Lets hope that energy summit shines some light rather than burn money , I agree there may well be diversity , but that should be centred around more joined up thinking on waste as well as solar or wind or hydro , I can see it is tricky problem , but it is obvious that if you can try and use less , the more luxury you have in what you can do , in where and when you need it . To be honest even a summit is better than anything labour did . Perhaps we would be world leaders , if labour hadnt put so many students into , social sciences and media studies .

  86. 281
    albacore says:

    Never mind Nell’s turnips – what about these here Swedes?
    They ain’t arf concocting some provocative feeds
    There ain’t much further in the piss you can take
    Once some spoon’s come up with a rude racist cake

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17749533

    • 284
      A pragmatist says:

      All white wedding cakes are racist.

      • 294
        A pragmatist says:

        I always knew them Swedes were racist. And turnips. And carrots.

        • 297
          Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

          Wedding cake? That has so upset me. I am a single gay divorcee hindu /budist and am affronted by all reminded of white weddings. Can I now sue for breach of human rights? Legal aid anyone?

  87. 282
    Evan Davies says:

    Hi, my name is lackey, and today my job is to defend jack straw.

    I get a lot of privileges for this and other work that I do on behalf of the labour party and other common purpose causes.

    And it gives me a certain frisson when I think that all you insignificant little people pay me and, my kind, lots of money to be able to carry on the way I do.

    Pay up and shut up.

    • 293
      Gonk says:

      Dear Evan,
      I thought you’d like to know that Jesse Norman gave you a bit of a kicking this morning and basically ‘owned you’. It’s probably a good idea to have a better researched argument than simply spew up the Labour line of ‘evil Tories’. Or at least have plan B. Hate most of your work. No disrespect.

      Ta Ta

    • 299
      Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

      Its all so unfair. People don’t understand the pressures. As Foreign Secretary you are sitting in the FCO making all these decisions, decision, decisions. Should we paint the outside loo for the servants at the embassy in Harare or can it wait another 10 years? A new toast rack for Cairo – silver plate or stainless steel? Should we help kidnap a British Citizen and hand him off to Ghadaffi for torture? How can we wind up the French in the menu for the next Anglo French banquet? It all just gets lost in the blur of activity

      • 302
        M*dbot's going mad again today says:

        “Should we paint the outside loo for the servants at the embassy in Harare”

        I believe I’m right in saying that Harare is an outside loo.

      • 306
        Jane Birkin from Paris says:

        Please do not forget that a French Socialist President wiped the floor with your so called Iron Lady when it came to negotiating the contract for that Tunnel.

        The bottle of whisky under the table is one of the oldest tricks in history and she fell for it hook line and sinker .

        It cost the British taxpayer a bundle .

        • 308
          Laurie Penny says:

          That bitch Thatcher only built the tunnel because she wanted to corral unemployed and impoverished Kentish people into it – mothers with their children, the elderly, the sick, I saw them all (whilst waving my baps in a nightclub in Folkestone) – and seal them in, forever, in a 23-mile long concrete sarcophagus. This is the inhumanity of the Tories. This is what they are.

  88. 296
    Ed Millipede Support Committee says:

    Isnt it terrible that under Labour poor Laurie was forced to take off her clothes for a living but under the, in her view, evil, Tories to make a living all she now has to expose is her intellectual inadequacies.

  89. 301
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Jack Straw to star in the “Rendition Man”.
    Next, Tony Blair in “Lie while they die”.

  90. 305
    Nicky Clegg says:

    My party’s shite. Vote UKIP instead.

    • 312
      I don't need no doctor says:

      But that’s a vote for another pile of shite. Name another UKIP member apart from Farage – you can’t. Name a UKIP foreign policy – you can’t. So why vote for UKIP?

      • 314
        jgm2 says:

        UKIP Foreign policy? Dead easy. That’s the only UKIP policy anybody would know off the top of their heads.

        UKIP’s foreign policy is that the UK’s domestic policy not be dictated by the Europe*ans.


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Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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