April 16th, 2012

Spelman’s Injunction Son Banned From Rugby

Caroline Spelman’s son Jonny has been banned from rugby until October 19 2013.

PA reports that the rising England star “admitted taking a number of drugs, including anabolic steroids and a growth hormone, when he appeared before an independent disciplinary tribunal on March 26.”

Despite the story being true the multi-millionaire Environment Secretary spent the equivalent of entire MP’s annual salary trying to repress it and stop it from appearing in the Daily Star Sunday.

Another stunning privacy injunction success… 


  1. 1
    Hang him! says:

    Oh, naughty lad!

  2. 2
    Disco Biscuit says:

    How old is he again?

  3. 3
    Ah! Monika says:

    That’ll teach him.

  4. 4
    genghiz the kahn says:

    I guess that calling for Obama’s head on a silver platter is now a non story.

  5. 5
    Popcorn, Popcorn, Get Your Popcorn Here says:

    Doesn’t anyone care if he eats pasties? The media are so fickle.

  6. 6
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    And our wonderful popular newspapers probably won’t cover it. Few excuses for huge amounts of cleavage or arse photographs. Or “isn’t she shockingly young but heres a photo of her in a bikini”

  7. 7
    Ah! Monika says:

    Has anyone else got a MY PROTEIN add above?

  8. 8
    Superman says:

    Well Tories take drugs don’t they? And they can afford them.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t know what he’s been taking, but he looks 30 weeks pregnant.

  10. 10
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Stupid fucking cow…. trying to protect us from the truth as always.

  11. 11
    Loungelizard says:

    Think he’s got his Sunday joint stuffed up there.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Caroline Spelman says:

    I blame the nanny. She was far too busy doing constituency work to bring him up properly.

  14. 14
    Close but no cigar. says:

    Does not mention the ban!

  15. 15
    CrapCleaner says:

    Ketamine is sooo yesterday, I suppose.

  16. 16
    Lord Stansted says:

    He seems to have a bit of a tummy. – not very fit.

  17. 17
    Ah! Monika says:

    All went into my horse in the National.

  18. 18
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    As with all overprivileged types, rubber Jonny will bounce back.

  19. 19
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    Did it live?

  20. 20
    Guardian reader, foaming at the mouth says:

    Typical behaviour from a white male. We need to accelerate the cultural enrichment. We should aim for 10 million immigrants per year – ACT NOW, let’s make the dream a reality.

  21. 21
    Ah! Monika says:

    Got his Mother’s looks though.

  22. 22
    Guardian reader, foaming at the mouth says:

    I’m afraid that locking people up for what they say/tweet is only to be applied to indigenous English males. This is correct since it is the result of thousands of years of persecution by white males.

  23. 23
    Poker Bum says:

    I had a oner on three horses shuttlin off this mortal coil. How gutted am I?

  24. 24
    Poker Bum says:

    That should be *shuttling*. Force of habit :(

  25. 25
    Sophie says:

    Maybe he can get a job meantime in one of those agricultural businesses his Mum is close to.

    Or maybe a year out in Brazil supervising the protection of the rainforest with the £10 million+ of taxpayers money his Mum gave to them.

    Or he could just stay at home & be his Mum’s paid nanny.

    Vote UKIP.

  26. 26
    Poker Bum says:

    You forgot to say “BlueLabour out”, sweetheart.

  27. 27
    I am not inspired by Edinburgh socialiast dogshite. Get real! Socialist Meddling Scum. says:

    Ha ha ha!

  28. 28
    CrapCleaner says:

    What’s wrong with “shuffling”?

  29. 29
    'arold says:

    You love it, you dirty old man

  30. 30
    I am not related to Edinburgh Game Pkmaying Scum. Get Real. Arsehole. says:

    What a pathetic arse.

  31. 31
    It's official - Salford is the centre of the known universe says:

    +3.6 billion

  32. 32
    Black Armband says:

    Ah!……a day off at last.

  33. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    anyone for Pooh Sticks?

  34. 34
    Ah! Monika says:

    We know it does.

  35. 35
    Jimmy says:

    That paper really has no standards at all.

  36. 36
    Nurse Botha says:

    *Holding nose* You deed to clear dose up before de ladies get back, Mr. Browd, dear.

  37. 37
    Edinburgh Delusional Scum says:

    He thought his mummy could magic it away. What a Mong!

  38. 38
    Ironside says:

    So he clearly lied to his parents.

    Fruit falling far from the tree ?

  39. 39
    AC1 says:

    Is there an injunction against reporting the trials of various 1slamic p43dophile gangs?

  40. 40
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    …or readers.

  41. 41
    Edinburgh Delusional Scum! says:

    This story has been lying dormant for months now.

  42. 42
    Ammanita Phalloides says:

    He looks as if he’s been buggered by the Nubian-with some peculiar results.

  43. 43
    Edinburgh Delusional Scum says:

    Tbh. He just looks fat. Dieting pills next.

  44. 44
    Kolo Toure says:

    It`s not worth it.

  45. 45
    Ah! Monika says:

    Pippa Middleton at centre of probe after friend waves handgun in car in Paris.

    Evening Standard

  46. 46
    Tommy Cooper S says:

    That’s what we in the trade call bow-legged.

  47. 47
    Poker Bum says:

    Did someone say probe?

  48. 48
    Loungelizard says:

    At centre of probe….waves his handgun in the air….all a bit Freudian if you ask me.

  49. 49
  50. 50
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    Whilst ringing 58mph out of a Luton box van on slight inclines, I used to wave a realistic plastic pistol out of the window at overtaking motorists.
    Most of them saw the funny side.

  51. 51
    AC1 says:

    Daily Star Sunday : 483,477 ; 64.73 ; -19.30 ; –
    is more than
    Sunday Mail : 332,372 ; -9.17 ; -11.81 ; 682
    The People : 463,936 ; -2.90 ; -33.84 ; –
    Sunday Post : 276,171 ; -11.54 ; -5.30 ; –
    Independent on Sunday : 124,921 ; -18.45 ; 0.53 ; 54,883
    The Observer : 251,074 ; -15.18 ; -0.77 ; –
    Scotland on Sunday : 46,054 ; -18.44 ; -1.94 ; –
    Sunday Herald : 29,479 ; -5.28 ; -4.20 ; –
    The Sunday Telegraph : 451,731 ; -6.27 ; -2.07 ; -

  52. 52
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I like how they’re trying to mix in a bit of outrage about terrorism.

    How’s about they mix in a bit of outrage about paparazzis on motorbikes chasing people round paris?

  53. 53
    SpAd says:

    Don’t know, but he appears to have stuffed the ball up his shirt – that’s pretty infantile, if you ask me.

  54. 54
    Another Delusional Uninspiring Old Bag in Edinburgh says:


  55. 55
    Edinburgh Delusional Scum says:

    Is he hiding his pack lunch under his rugby top?

  56. 56
    Mr. Putin's Stolen Cat says:

    Steroids banned? Well, that puts most of the meat and dairy industry in jeopardy – as Mummy will tell you.

  57. 57
    the sun is finally shining through my cell window says:

    Here, here. Who is she, anyway?

  58. 58
    If religious people don't want to be laughed at, they shouldn't believe stupid things says:

    As an evagelical creationist christian, surely all Spelman had to do was pray for the problem to go away? We all know how well prayer works. Just ask all the people who’ve died of cancer, been tortured and killed. The recording made by Myra Hindley and Ian Brady of one of their victims contained her pleas to her captors as well as begging god to save her. That worked.

  59. 59
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Blimey, Breivik cries at his own propaganda film, just like Kev Livingturd does.

  60. 60
    the sun is finally shining through my cell window says:

    You mean “wringing”, shureley?

  61. 61
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Don’t worry, the cost will be deducted from his pocket money for the next 255 years.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    A teenage lad makes a mistake, a non story. One wonders how many mistake Guido’s children have made!

  63. 63
    Damien 666 Thompson says:

    Every morning I pray over my cornflakes that my job will still be there when I arrive at the offce. It does seem to work.

  64. 64
    Loungelizard says:

    Don’t shoot the messenger, if someone puts a meal down in front of you, you don’t have to eat it.

  65. 65
    Damien 666 Thompson says:

    comment removed

  66. 66
    Thumb Screw says:


  67. 67
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    God is all-seeing, all-powerful, and omnipresent, so he knows what goes on and can do something about it. Even a child being murdered.

    However, if you don’t pray about it, God will just ignore it, otherwise there would be point in prayer, would there?

    So if God exists, he’s a Hoon.

  68. 68
    Ah! Monika says:


    Ms Fadil told the court she had attended several parties at Mr Berlusconi’s villa outside Milan.

    She alleges that the first night she went, she saw two young women in nun costumes stripping for the prime minister. One, she said, was Nicole Minetti, now a regional councillor for Berlusconi’s People of Freedom party in Milan.

  69. 69
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Be careful what you say now as 6 months inside seems to be the going rate for insults to Authority figures!

  70. 70
    Lord Levinson and his legal cowboys says:


    Another disgrace in the House of Ermin Vermin FFS


    Abolish that House I say…

  71. 71
    GOD says:

    I read this blog.

  72. 72
    Squeeze Up The (in)Junction says:

    Spelman, authourity figure?

  73. 73
    Gus O'Donnell says:

    No I don’t.

  74. 74
    Ah! Monika says:


  75. 75
    Leeds station says:

    It’s the pasties.

  76. 76
    Ah! Monika says:

    If you want the BOE job, you had better start.

  77. 77
    Deep Fried Salad says:

    So lets be clear. He took a shit load of dodgy drugs and it took £61k to hide the story and he looks as fit as Billy Bunter in a cake shop. He woz worf it!

  78. 78
    Caroline Spelman says:

    Don’t beat yourself up about it, my little soldier.

    Love from Mummy x x

    P.S. Loving Guido’s blog.

  79. 79
    Ah! Monika says:

    That’s a non question.

  80. 80
    Bounty Hunter says:

    I’m offering a £10 bounty to whoever finds Ed Miliband’s brain.

  81. 81
    Sack Cameron - Elect A Tory says:

    What on earth has he got up his shirt?

  82. 82
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like Guido’s bog too… POO TIME!

  83. 83
    Stat Tractor says:

    You love it, don’t you? What does it all mean?

  84. 84
    WVM says:

    Fuck that I’m going to play Euromillions instead.

  85. 85
    Mark Oat℮n says:

    Just look at the strain on his face, I’d love to be on the receiving end of that!

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Not an injunction, that would leave an audit trail.

  87. 87
    Ah! Monika says:

    What was all that about?

  88. 88
    Ah! Monika says:


  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Guardian reader? No,you are a Camorrhoid

  90. 90
    Mary Portas says:

    Now there’s a business I could start up.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    It no longer needs to be repeated.
    The Conservative Party is bought and paid for.

  92. 92
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s an emerging alien, about to burst through.

  93. 93
    Col. White, LIVE from inside Rhapsody Angel says:

    Receiving you loud and clear here on Cloudbase, Fawkes. Captain Blue has assumed the position in anticipation.

  94. 94
    Tachybaptus says:

    You’re never the same age again.

  95. 95
    John Bercow says:

    Hey, where do he get these growth hormones from Guido?

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    At least he didn’t tweet.

  97. 97
    not a machine says:

    LOL see Dan hodges photoshop telegraph , getting da respect vote , with da donny massive ………….

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    It’s not the mistakes , it’s the injunctions. Stupid Conservative.

  99. 99
    BREAKING WIND!!! says:

    The World Bank has announced that Jim Yong Kim will be the next President.

  100. 100
    Some Geezer wot's never had the "Badger Game" (google it) played on him says:

    Caroline Spelman, Mother of the Year and sworn enemy of the badger population:

    “Honey Badger don’t give a shit!”
    And apparently, neither did she, till the tabloids came around.

  101. 101
    Another Coe-tastrophe? says:

    Jonny won’t be staying up to watch the Olympic flame being lit then?
    Rumours abound not to expect the lighting of the Olympic torch until ‘midnight or later’ for the sake of ‘The American Market’.

  102. 102
    keredybretsa says:

    Well that is good news for the environment, innit?

  103. 103
    Jonathan says:

    Glad the drug cheating bastard has been banned from playing rugby. It should have been a life time ban. However, despite the ban being but a measly 21 months, mummy and daddy Spelman are appealing against the savage sentence dished out to their twerp of a son. An utter moron. Very glad it has cost the parents so much money to try (and fail) in safeguarding (?) the spoilt little brat’s “privacy”.

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    It looks as if it going to be a very large one, when is it due, is it a first for a rugby player

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    He will have those stretch marks for life

  106. 106
    dr. strangelove says:

    I see the anabolic steroids worked wonders on his stomach stop I think I will recommend him for further tests to my very good friend Dr Mengele down in Rio .

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Surely haemorrhoid

  108. 108
    Maggies Pearl Necklace says:

    I know the lad, he trains at our gym, he’s a nice kid who made a mistake and built like a brick shit house, this is a bad photo.

  109. 109
    Brum says:

    That the police didn’t shoot him when they had the chance is one of the world’s worst police blunders ever.

  110. 110
    CLINT Cameron says:

    spellman is a c’unt

  111. 111
    Expense cheat watch says:

    We could all be multi millionaires if we helped ourselves to expense claims for fictitious work carried out by a nanny.

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    That bastard should be on trial for his life.

  113. 113
    One law for them says:

    If he has made these comments then he has commited a criminal offence of incitement . The Americans should apply for his extradition to face charges.

  114. 114
    Harmony Angel says:


  115. 115
    King Neptune's aunty says:

    What does it mean? Nothing really, except to show just far educational standards have plummeted over the past 30 years or so. Phwoooaar! that’s a nice pair of melons innit? no wot r meen [‘arry]

  116. 116
    King Neptune's aunty says:

    I don’t think the US has an extradition treaty with Pastykhan.

  117. 117
    Richard S Dean says:

    Is that banned banned as with Eric Cantona or banned as with Dean Richards?

  118. 118
    PC clitoris says:

    one law/rule for the toffs/upper classes and their offspring another for us plebs.
    we keep voting the buggers in for god sake,will the british ever wise up!!!

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