April 2nd, 2012

Boot Boys Ban the Byrne

With half the Shadow Cabinet descending on Birmingham this morning there was one very obvious face missing from Ed’s May election campaign launch. How odd that local MP and potential Mayor of Birmingham Liam Byrne was not on the platform, or even invited. Guido has been tipped that there was a row about Byrne, with Labour’s “Campaign Coordinator” (and rival candidate supporting) Tom Watson blocking Baldamort’s attendance.

Though Byrne’s people are denying it, he somehow ended up spending the day in Harlow…


  1. 1
    Hang em says:

    They all bloody thieves


  2. 2
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Watson’s in charge, then.


    • 19
      Ed Moribund says:

      I am the Shylock to his Dr Watson


    • 20
      Anonymous says:


    • 35
      Baldemort says:

      There is no money left.

      And stop calling me Baldemort. It makes me so angry I can hardly drink the specially brewed capuccino served by one of my personal slaves from a cup made of gold.


      • 99
        The CJD in Argentinian Beef says:

        Of course there’s no money left, Gordon Brown flushed most of it down the toilet, all part of a scorched-earth policy. He knew the Tories would follow Labour eventually, so he made sure they inherited the mother of all debts to pay off from day one.

        It was a win-win situation for Labour: If they had won in 2010 they would have carried on flushing the country’s finances down the pan for another five years. If not, they could expect a responsible incoming administration to have to make cuts that might be unpopular, meaning they might have a chance of getting back into power again sonner than they really deserved, perhaps miscalculating that Labour might have anybody electable as leader.

        However, all other political parties need to formulate ways of dealing with this sort of behaviour. It needs outing very vocally at every opportunity.


        • 101
          John Selwyn Gummer's daughter says:

          How dare you mention CJD, you bastard!

          My dad made me eat a CJD burger 31 years ago. Freshly frozen.

          You inconsiderate git!


    • 36
      nellnewman says:

      If twatson’s labour’s campaign coordinator what the devil was he doing whilst galloway took ba gh dad west by storm?!!


      • 41
        nellnewman says:

        You have to give prescott his due. When bliar and then brown were PM , during election times, prezza was tireless in travelling the country in his battlebus and campaigning for labour.

        twatson apparently never moved out of the restaurant and bar in the HoC, well except perhaps to play with his xbox in his bedroom for a while, as galloway leached the labour vote out from under labour’s nose.


        • 113
          Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

          He also spent a lot of time following Jelly Wellhard around with his tongue hanging out.


    • 44
      Tony Blair says:

      I would just like to remind you mugs that I’m now a multi-millionaire and you’re all paying for my protection. Haha, you can all live with the imm1grants. Ch3rie and I are off shopping.


      • 47
        nellnewman says:

        apparently nowadays the letterbox one is a sad lonely figure who sits at the back of auction rooms bidding on worthless pieces of old furniture, which she then sells on ebay, whilst bliar struts the world pretending to be some sort of world saviour.

        Odd couple!!


        • 75
          Tachybaptus says:

          ‘It is too often forgotten that Cherie Blair is one of the most brilliant women of her generation. If she had never met Tony Blair she would now be a High Court judge or maybe a Cabinet minister.’
          — Peter Oborne, Evening Standard, 2004 (and no, I’m not making that up)


    • 49
      Tom Watson, playing at being a Mafia Boss says:

      “We can take you to where we are holding Mr. Byrne. You will be given an address to go to; it will be a darkened basement where you will be approached from behind. You will be blindfolded, placed in the boot of a car, dr!ven around aimlessly for more than an hour, and brought to a windowless featureless bare room. You will have half an hour with him, no more. The process will be repe@ted in returning you; you will, however, not have your blindfolds removed when we abandon you in a desolate location where we are not likely to be filmed on CCTV.”


  3. 3
    Chicken Jimmyranga says:

    They left him a note: Sorry Liam, we’ve spent all the love. FOAD, Ed.


  4. 4
    naval gays says:

    How’s the fluff down there Guido?


    • 21
      Admiral Insurance says:

      I strongly object to the term Naval Gays.
      In the senior service it is traditional use the phrase – periscope semen. Pink torpedoes. Chief pretty officer. Mild cruiser. And polari submarines.


  5. 5
    Ed moribund says:

    Ed Byrne is very funny. I wish him every success


  6. 6
    Rinka Scott says:

    I feel sorry for the people of Harlow.

    Labour clearly treat them with no respect whatsoever.


    • 9
      Ed Moribund says:

      Oh. Fuck! Don’t tell me Respect are standing here too?
      Those c@nts nicked our immigrants!


  7. 7
    BBC News says:

    The bbc would like to make clear that when our presenter said ‘we need to do more’ when talking about the Labour party, that refered to ‘we the people’ and not ‘ we the liberal left media’ that infest the BBC like flies on a dead badger.

    We would remind you that there are other political parties in the UK. The green party. The socialist workers party. The Scottish labour party and even some other ones. For a full list of them, press the Red Ed button.


    • 16
      The BBC - a gaping huge cleft in NooLabia says:

      It is true; we are a half-hearted, vacuous and puerile set of halfwits, lovers of the male arse-hole, and in-betweens.

      But our mission is clear: Get Gordo back at any cost!

      He is our Hero!!!!!

      What more can we say? – except PAY YOUR TELLY TAX!!!


      • 38
        BBC the Labour Party Mouthpiece says:

        Yes you have to PAY YOUR TELLY TAX or we’ll sent the brown shirted goons round for a friendly chat.


    • 45
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Was that the BBC Hunt on Radio 5? I swear to god that’s what I heard him say “WE” as in the BBC and the Labour party.


      • 96
        Sack Cameron - Elect A Tory says:

        Radio for (Today?) also has form for this


        • 138
          Social Pundit says:

          As well to remember the infamous dialogue between the Welsh motormouth Kinnock and the Trotskyite BBC James Naughty during Thatcher’s time to realise why he gave such a soft “interview” to the Unite leader on this morning’s Toady Programme.
          Perhaps time to replay that scene to remind people of Naughty’s loonly left wing credentials.


  8. 8
    basking beast says:

    Its Big Willie Hagues doppellganger


    • 103
      Ed Harris says:

      Well, that wasn’t ME in Harlow– I don’t even know where that is! Must have been William Hague or his doppelganger, if it wasn’t Byrne.


  9. 13
    ToonBob... says:

    is it ‘cos ‘e is blick?


  10. 14
    Birmingham - but will this pass the mod? says:

    Birmingham, – once a place of industry and commerce – a place of innovation and reliability, – now hosts Ed +Ed + the NooLieBore Clitorati.

    The City Fathers must be spinning in their graves!

    Hey modbot – what’s yer prob mate?


  11. 22
    Gordon McBraun says:

    I stand for the party of the left.
    Since I became leader more people have left the labour party than ever before!


  12. 23
    Dick the Prick says:

    The Galloway factor is proper relevant with these lefty oiks. They’re all fighting over Burmeengnumm but got the only anti-semite in London to raise the red flag? Labour are rather odd.


  13. 26
    Jumbo says:

    The loneliest job in Britain: manning a polling booth in the May local elections.


    • 27
      annette curton says:

      And the most hectic job is manning the post office franking machines.


      • 51
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        They’ll only just have recovered in Bradford West before the whole Postal Vote rush starts again – now quite as busy next time because Galloway’s 75% of the Postals won’t be there then.

        But when he stands for Bradford’s elected Mayor in November……..lots of overtime for Royal Mail, especially with container-loads of overseas post arriving from Mirpur.


      • 62
        Imran says:

        Hey, wait ’til we get things changed so you can email in your vote!!!


      • 85
        Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

        So George Galloway has learned from me in Portsmouth. Get the immigrants in, with a dozen postal votes in every house, every one called Patel.


  14. 30
    nellnewman says:

    +++Laughs+++ Who’s twatson supporting then? Not that little hoodierapper sionsimon person surely?

    If the brummies vote to have a mayor and then vote either of those clowns in , it doesn’t matter which one, they will find all their hard earned council tax will be spent on fast cars and even faster living; spending recklessly is encoded into labour’s DNA.


  15. 34
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I’ll mostly be varnishing my jobbies.


  16. 43
    BBC News says:

    Vote Labour!

    Now here’s the weather with Laura Tobin.


    • 54
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Laura’s the best thing on the Beeb.

      The leftie-biased news may be depressing but you can always count on Lovely Laura to get things rising again.


    • 55
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Great choice of photos on Al Beeb re Falklands War of Argentine Naval Cadet next and war memorial, and one of their desperate President throwing roses into the sea. Must have been told to publish them by Argentine Government.

      Balanced choice not.


  17. 52
    nellnewman says:

    Please do try my new recipe of:

    Honey Glazed Turnip Pie

    The ingredients you’ll need:

    200 g (8 oz) shortcrust or wholemeal pastry
    1 onion, sliced
    2 tbsp (25 g) 1 oz butter
    1 kg (2 lb) turnips, diced
    2 or 3 cloves
    2 tablespoons runny honey
    3 tablespoons cream or top of milk
    Salt and pepper


    1. Roll out the pastry and line a flan tin.

    2. Bake blind at 200°C, 400°F, mark 6 until the pastry case is completely cooked, about 30 minutes.

    3. Remember to take out the beans towards the end of the cooking time so that the base is cooked through.

    4. Cook the turnips and onion with the cloves in boiling salted water until soft and tender.

    5. Mash the vegetables with the butter and cream if you wish, season well and pour into the warm flan.

    6. Dribble the honey over the top of the turnip mixture and put under the grill until bubbly.

    7. Once cooked leave to cooled down for an hour.

    8. When cool take the pie and a taxi to the Palace of Westminster and wait for Ed Miliband to exit the building.

    9. Once in sight and close enough with a good aim throw the pie directly in his geeky mong face.

    10. Laugh loudly for 10 to 20 seconds whilst pointing at him, then run away quickly (more laughing wile you run away is completely optional).


    • 56
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Nell, have you been at the red wine?


      • 61
        nellnewman says:


        Nope not yet! And that wasn’t me.

        But the sentiments are not too far adrift except I can’t see me throwing good food at anyone least of all militwit!

        Just looking at that recipe to see , with a bit of tweaking, if it wouldn’t actually work!!


    • 60
      WVM says:

      Think she’s been at the cooking sherry again.


      • 63
        nellnewman says:

        Sherry Ugh! 1 glass of that and I end up with a nasty headache.

        Asda however are doing a rather fine red wine at the moment 3 for £10 called Dreamtime Ridge. However, please DoNot go and buy it because otherwise there won’t be any left when I want some!

        Oh and don’t be going and telling youngMrNells I go in Asda either – he thinks only people he calls ‘chavs’ shop in there. I’ve no idea what they are but they donlt be buying the red wine!


        • 68
          Masterman Steadyman says:

          Steady there Nell – you’ll be getting that caring </i. Mr Commarunt gazing down your backside to see if you've drunk too much! – you'kno drinking is a prob for the elderly! (they say – bastards!)

          Anyway – it'll be your bed time soon, – so nighty night – sweet dreams Nell – and I mean that!


          • nellnewman says:

            7mins past 9?!!

            Wasn’t planning to go to bed this early.

            Thought I might go and listen to some of the folks on Twitter who are trying to talk sense and social responsibility to galloway before I finally retire for the night.


  18. 53
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The labour launch was held in an old folks home. The applause was rather sparse, indicating not many attendees. The BBC camera never panned round, but you can bet there was more media there than actual labour supporters.


    • 74
      nellnewman says:

      That’ll be because most residents had enough sense to stay in their own well appointed rooms and watch the event on tv whilst having a laugh at the labour clowns prancing about in main lounge of their residential home, as they themselves sipped tea, ate the chef’s cake of the day and contemplated what idiots politicians are!!!


    • 80
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Most of the media would have been the BBC and they’d have applauded the loudest.


      • 106
        Beating About Bush House says:

        When they haven’t planted a claque in the audience near the mikes, the BBC usually just add canned laughter these days, especially on their agitprop radio 4 ‘comedy’ shows.


        • 140
          Beeboid 1 says:

          “Papering the walls” is what we are very good at.


        • 142
          frackinghell says:

          Standard practice is to use a ‘warm-up’ artist at the beginning of recordings. Very often, these are people about to become household names. Very often, also, their routines get the evening’s best laughs and they are ruthlessly dubbed in where the star performers’ lines fail to get the reaction needed.

          Always remember that although “This show was taped in front of a live audience”, the laughter that you hear may have been recorded during another part of the show (or after a joke that never made it to screen).


  19. 57
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Maybe Byrne should use his magic wand on Watson.


  20. 66
    WVM says:

    Five kids killed in a shooting at a university in Oakland California, bets on it’s a religion of peace follower.


  21. 69

    One of us is fatty
    One is not hirsute
    One of us likes Brighton
    In our birthday suit
    One of us counts money
    ‘Fraid there’s nothing left
    One of us hates Murdoch
    Denigration is no theft
    One of us is crying
    Both of us are lying
    That’s how I started the show
    Both of us had to go…
    One of us is lonely
    One of us is only
    Waiting for the call
    Sorry for just nothing
    But wishing I had never
    Been Left at all.


  22. 76
  23. 90
    nellnewman says:

    A last thought for the night. The British Army is the Best! Selfless, Heroic and could teach more than a thing or two to our self serving politicians.

    What they did in the Falklands and Iraq and what they are doing in Afghanistan shows absolutely the best of human nature whilst our politicians show us the worst!!

    Good Night. God Bless!


  24. 97
    Jazmint Halibut Brhoon says:

    I smell fishy – and you are all becoming socialist.


  25. 105
    Yuck! says:

    Traitor to the nation Galloway has got himself a new wife, his fourth no less. And she’s younger than his daughter. Spending so much time with the followers of the peedo prophet has clearly rubbed off on him. Pass the bucket. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2124227/George-Galloways-new-Dutch-bride-Putri-Gayatri-Pertiwi.html


  26. 110
    not a machine says:

    Ed unveils plan Y , could be the Y in wednesday . There were a number of innacurracies in Eds speech today , it whiffed slightly of Mandelson reformualtion of right blairism . Funny how the gravity of the denial on finances actually works , only 2 weeks ago I seem to recall a certain shad front bencher agrreing to 50p tax reduction , my how things have changed .
    Bar fuel fun for all , looks to me like local elections is Eds choosen destination , way to go yet . If fuel strike does occure , bet he has to lessen election tour , public may not forgive him if its a harsh one .


  27. 114
    Lou Scannon says:

    When we finally abandon the Jockanese to their fate I wonder where the power will come from to fry those deep-fried Mars bars when the wind doesn’t blow ? The EU had told them to clean up Cockenzie (one of their largest power stations) or shut it down, consequently it’s scheduled to close in a year’s time. (The same goes for Kingsnorth in Kent.)
    Pity the EU can’t clean up its own act.



    • 125
      water water every where says:

      I think youv’e not been to have a look around Scotland or seen a map of the place have you, try and get out a bit further than the M25 circular before being a bit worried about electric power in Scotland.


      • 131
        jgm2 says:

        I’ve been to Fucking Scotland. Most days I couldn’t see a fucking thing on account of the fog and the rain.

        There’s scenery there apparently but very few people have ever seen it. Awful barren wilderness if you ask me.


  28. 116
    Lord Lavender et al. says:



  29. 117
    m says:

    so it now becomes obvious why there are so many military planes flying, practicing , in the skies above the west country – we’re preparing to invade Argentina over the Falklands as well as invade Syria on a peace mission – the MoD are totally unaccounatble to the people of the UK – funny that!


  30. 120
    Superintendent Wilde says:

    Foggy tonight.


  31. 122
    Constable Clegg says:

    My place or yours ?


  32. 124
    X Am says:



  33. 126
    albacore says:

    They reckon Dave don’t know what he’s doing
    Ignoring all the trouble a-brewing
    He does nowt but sit and suck on his thumbs
    And leave it all up to the EU bums
    Of course, if he’d kept his cast-iron vow
    We’d be on our way out of Europe now



  34. 128
    Anonymous says:

    George Galloway’s election surprise, just proves that anything is possible at elections.

    So remember, you don’t have to vote for any of the main parties. You would be very wise not to.

    After all, every single one of them will take you into a United Sates of Europe, but will tell you to your face, that they won’t, and will even promise you a referendum to your face. Then when in power,helped by your vote of course, will do a “volte face”.

    Every election , that EUSSR gets closer, approved by your votes! You are voting for it by voting for any one of the 3 main parties.

    Will you ever learn?


  35. 129
    Dave ov Digbeth says:

    Watson may have fooled the London Metropolitan elite into thinking he is some sort of northern political bruiser.

    To us Brummies Watson is a gormless fat lad from Kidderminster.

    He looks very similar to a bloke from Kidderminster known as Breville due to the huge amount of toasted sandwiches he eats.


  36. 130
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    Quite simply public life without this person involved would be much much better.

    When in office his Department was a complete shambles. Added to which he showed no vision or foresight for the future.

    I am all for having a strong and powerful opposition not only to hold the government of the day to account for its own weakenesses and any maladministration but also to put forward superior policies and procedures which will benefit the taxpayer.


    • 134
      jgm2 says:

      Labour does not represent the taxpayers. It represents the tax consumers.

      That’s the problem right there.


      • 146
        frackinghell says:

        True, and tragic. There used to be workers in need of legislation to protect life and limb. Thankfully, those battles were won. Why bother voting Labour now, unless you are seeking to avoid having to work?


  37. 141
    John Motson's Dead Sheep( Skin) says:

    A propos someone who putatively resigned today I seem to remember a similar type of player back in the Seventies . Name of James ” Murdo” Mcleod.

    He played midfield for Sauchiehall International as I recall . Had an overly robust reputation for……. hacking……. opponents — got him lots of early baths culminating in his being ” warned off” the field for good

    So sad. Such potential . And such a heartbreak for his doting father Rupert the Bear who never got over it and slowly faded …. leaving his estate to the Interceptors Benevolent Fund.


  38. 147
    Liam Byrne says:

    I was planning to come but I couldn’t afford the ticket as I had run out of money.


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