March 28th, 2012

Dave’s Afternoon Thrashing Around


  1. 1
    Down with Brown! says:

    What is he good at? Apart from being a useless toff?

  2. 2

    Is it cheaper than going to dinner if you promise to let him win?

  3. 3
    Sir William Waad says:

    Cameron’s dancing partner at the ball: “Ow!”
    Cameron: “I’m sorry, I’m a little stiff from Badminton.”

  4. 4
    annette curton says:

    Nowt like a game of croquet and 3 dozen pasties for us working class types, said Pressclot.

  5. 5
    Everyone a sinner says:

    He does a remarkable impersonation of a total tool.

  6. 6
    annette curton says:

    Not enough ball room?.

  7. 7
    The snow that killed the economy. says:

    Congratulations to Dave on still being the biggest cock during a photo op with Lord Coe hitting one back and forth.

  8. 8
    The Cult of Youth says:

    What kind of an idiot plays badminton in that outfit?

    Oh yes, a politician.

  9. 9
    Jimmy says:

    So he is literally cack-handed as well?

  10. 10
    Backstairs Billy Vague says:

    I do like a nice shuttlecock!

  11. 11
    Some genius says:

    This calls for a trip to Alton Towers in a baseball cap.

  12. 12
    nellnewman says:

    Why have politicians, in recent years, allowed themselves to be photographed engaging in a sporty activities that they are rubbish at?

    First there was gordon pretending he could jog and now cameron pretending he can play badminton. Twits both of them!

  13. 13
    Ex Conservative voter says:

    It’s slightly too convincing for my taste.

  14. 14
    annette curton says:

    A Gentleman probably would, but a politician?.

  15. 15
    thatcher for pm! says:

    You’ve got to laugh, the very thing he wanted to avoid being called by jumping onto every fucking politically correct bandwagon going, and the ‘out of touch toff’ toffee still catches up with him.

  16. 16
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m kack handed BTW.

  17. 17
    Ex Conservative voter says:

    He’s trying to appe*al to the cack-handed badminton ‘community’ – pretty much the only group of people in Britain he hasn’t managed to f*ck-off yet.

    (Unless they’re pensioners, use petrol/diesel, pay VAT, have savings, or otherwise expected him to be anything other than a complete spastic.)

  18. 18
    Everyone a sinner says:

    Should have stuck to wiff waff

  19. 19

    For those who saw the Beeb’s Horizon last nite on “Global Weirding”, here’s a list of some of the other tripe Katharine Hayhoe has been spouting.

  20. 20
    Don Quixote says:

    Hello Guido

    It’s your old friend Don Quixote (Kihoté for the newcomers)

    I love your blog

    Full of exotic or kihotic or erotic stories

    But you have missed the outrageous outbreak of kihotism….the generalised building of wind farms

    This is a serious illness only known to those of us who are initiated…

    It consists of sinking billions of kupeks (or whatever) in windmills which have to be immediately written off…fooking billions it seems…this is becoming extravagent…like so many other unprincipled things

    Who is making billions of kopeks out of this futility ? have you all gone mad ?

    Your one and only

    Don Q

    P.S. Someone said that I could appoint myself as Nick Clegg’s father in law…we come from the same region of the benighted Europe…

  21. 21
    Loony left running the show says:

    As you may be aware, last minute industrial action has been called by two unions for
    next Wednesday 28th March. The Government has still refused to value the
    current pension scheme for staff working in schools or meaningfully negotiate on
    the scale of the cuts. Even with the revised offer, staff will still pay considerably
    more for a considerably lower pension as well as having to work until they are much
    older, over 65 in many cases. This is an extremely worrying issue for the future of
    our schools. Working in school is a vocational career and we need to ensure that it
    is an attractive career choice so that we can continue to attract the most talented
    to our schools. Our future children deserve nothing less.

    If you would like to express your opinion about any of the penion issues involved
    please contact your local MP: Edward Davey, Constituency Office, 21 Berrylands
    Road, Surbiton, Surrey, KT5 8QT.

  22. 22
    Joss Sayin says:

    Demonstrates just what a sub-species of human being they all are.

  23. 23
    Depressed button says:

    And there was Lard Presclott, pretending he was protecting himself in his boxing match, and BLiar playing tennis with Clit Whatshisface, not to mention the rest of Labour politicians who practice knob-jockeying daily.

  24. 24
    pedant says:

    Was invented by British troops in Poona, India, as an adaptation of the traditional game of battledore and shuttlecock. It’s a legacy of Empire, and nothing to do with the Duke of Beaufort.

  25. 25
    Nelson Mandela says:

    I think that the another revolution is coming in Britain

    I was a tribal chief but at least I stood up for my people in a big way

    I find the British upper class entirely useless and abusive

    The good Brits I know left the country years ago and did something with their lives apart from pretending

    The British people are now leaderless because those who should represent them have sold themselves out to the highest bidder..and live on the proceeds of overseas money…

    And London, to me, is now the Chicago of the 1930s…

    You have lost your way children…

  26. 26
    AC1 says:

    Not the first man to grab Sebs ‘cock according to previous posters.

  27. 27
    JJ says:

    He looks like a right hot pasty by the end.

  28. 28
    AC1 says:

    Hoorah! let’s celebrate wasting 24 Billion quid on 2ish weeks of mostly dull sports, and fuck up London’s economy and parks till November!

  29. 29
  30. 30
    AC1 says:

    > continue to attract the most talented to our schools

    1/ They’re not OUR schools, they’re the lefts.
    2/ Most teachers are talentless cowards who look for a position to bully children.

  31. 31
    annette curton says:

    I haven’t got any opinions about penions (a genus of large sea snail), they can work until till they are 65 like everybody else.

  32. 32
    accidental tourist says:

    Can’t wait for the SAM missile batteries in Greenwich Park.

  33. 33
    Backstairs Billy Vague says:

    I do like a tasty hot pasty too!

  34. 34
    Well it's a thought says:

    I want to know why Camoron has allowed the BBC to scaremonger all day over the maybe fuel strike, it appears around our area they have been queuing and prices have gone up at least 2p, by the end of the week you will be lucky to buy fuel, time to get rid of that yellow streak davy and sort it out now.

  35. 35
    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson says:

    Wiff waff is coming home hurrah!

  36. 36
    Loony left running the show says:

    how can they send such political letters out?

  37. 37
    Loony left running the show says:

    doesnt matter – Greggs have an en northern rock guy on the board so all will be ok

  38. 38
    annette curton says:

    I sure we have all been tempted at some time to play a game of Lacrosse with a severed human head.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    It really is quite difficult to comprehend just how inept the Conservatives have proved this past week. I thought we were shot of this sort of nonsense when Gordo was booted out, but these two clowns at the top are like Laurel and Hardy.

    As shockingly poor a week of political ham-fistedness as I think I can recall.

  40. 40
    Camerhuhne's a tool, but... says:

    …what’s wrong with badminton?

    The local leisure centre offers games and rackets for £3.50 a pop.

  41. 41
    Gail Emms says:

    That’s a shuttle, cock.

  42. 42
    Really? says:

    He doesn’t like strikes, he orders extra large pasties in train stations, he lives in a little flat “above the shop” and even hosts fish and chip nights for his mates…our Dave’s just a regular sort of guy.

  43. 43
    David Cameron says:

    I find it all terribly convincing and if I am honest, a little frightening. We simply must take this AGW thingy awfully seriously, CO2 I have been told, can quite literally kill us all and turn our world into a fireball, just like the sun!

  44. 44
    ToonBob... says:

    Tax the f*t b*stards and the morbidly obese….. after all most of the f*ckers are on benefits!!

  45. 45
    ToonBob... says:

    Tax the f*ckers…… their customers are usually the leeches on our society :)

  46. 46
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    We have our ways.

  47. 47
    annette curton says:

    Subway sandwich deal, 12 inches for £3.

  48. 48
    Sausage roll and doughnut for 99p says:

    Rubbish. Greggs is always heaving at lunchtimes with workers, from builders to office types.

    They sell tasty food at an affordable price.

    You’re as bad as Guardian readers who think everyone should be eating fairtrade cupcakes from independent boutiques at lunch.

  49. 49
    Archer Karcher says:

    The problem is not the upper class, it’s the political class. They have become thoroughly corrupted and imagine they can lie and line their pockets with crony gold, with impunity.

  50. 50
    Phoney B£iar says:

    I’m a regular sort of guy too.

  51. 51
    National Socialist says:

    Cameron must surely know that the game is up. It beggars belief that he and his team of numpties can win an outright majority at the next general election.
    He knows that his personal wealth and his friends in industry will look after him (a la Blair). He has all but given up.
    So is the next election to produce a coalition between Labour and the DimLibs? If the latter’s support falls away, as is predicted, it will be Labour’s to lose.
    D.U.D.C.A. anyone?

  52. 52
    politics says:

    I like badminton

  53. 53
    Archer Karcher says:

    Our Dave is a useless, spineless errand boy. He knows if he steps out of line, he will find that nice prefects badge taken from him. So he does as he is told.

  54. 54
    Archer Karcher says:

    Prime Minister Ed Miliband, four words you will never hear in your lifetime.

  55. 55
    Prof Scientist says:

    Hot food contributes to global warming. Tax it to the max.

    Eating cold is the new cool….

  56. 56
    Forget about that bollocks Dave and lets have some real capitalism says:

  57. 57
    joescotus says:

    enr coming to a district near you!

  58. 58
    Nelson Mandela says:

    You are right in one sense

    The upper class have ridden the wave of corruption without lifting a finger or shouting from the rooftops…and have seen their assets muptuply by 5 or 10 in the process

    So they are merely passive players in a world of growing active corruption, greed and criminality…

    Except for one profession, where the “upper class”, (for lack of a better word) i.e. solicitors and barristers…just look at the recent High Court case between two oligarchs..have make and con tinue to make millions out of being accompliaces with all these criminals while maintaining a perfect virginity publicly… FFS

    A large number of the so-called “best” are active accomplices in laundering money, frauding consomers, aggressive tax avoidance (by the banks for example), defending these gangster oligarchs, covering generalised criminality in the dead tree press and covering up police corruption…I could go on…

  59. 59
    old git says:

    We’re all aware of Cameron and his Cast Iron lies
    But no one ever dreamt that he would tax our hot meat pies
    That Pickles chap and Prescott are beyond all consolation
    Both hoping that a pie-maker will make a big donation
    As Crudders says a wad of cash could get pie views on board
    Your Pies just might become TAX-FREE if you increase our hoard
    Were all in it together but the rich get the most by far
    We will tax the pasties but its tax-fee for caviar

  60. 60
    A democrat says:

    I have said before on this blog, you could not make it up,

    David Cameron, Eton Oxbridge

    Nick Clegg, Westminster Oxbridge

    In Edwardian rowing times, this combination was callled First and Third Trinity (Cambridge). They were nice chaps in another world.

    Why the hell are you all surprised that this combination produces an irrelevant and inconsequential couple like Cameron and Clegg ?

    They merely represent the inability of the rest of the country to impose a modicum of democracy …in other words the social paralysis of a very decadent country.. (and Labour have been taken over by a bunch of corrupt Hampsteads so they are no answer to anything!)

    Britain should try to get at least into the 20th century politically…

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    then theres the media who rather report on pies,pasties and any headline to sell papers and rip the coalition to bits in the meantime the UK goes down the Drain.
    When Edd gets back in we will all be fucked,and dont blame Cameron hes got the whole fucking media on a mission to destroy this goverment but Brown he got an easy fucking ride compared to this.even Guido seems to have jumped ship to Labour thats the way i see it

  62. 62
    AC1 says:

    Of course if you shoot anything down over London it wont land anywhere populated.

  63. 63
    Not The Wife of a Former Prime Minister QC says:

    There really is no need to spell it out. Simply imagine the possibilities that arise being the wife of a Prime Minister who can meet people and charge them fees for matters that are legally privileged.

  64. 64
    A National Socialist says:

    Won’t happen with the current system.

  65. 65
    A National Socialist says:

    I wouldn’t bet on it.

  66. 66
    Ed Moribund says:

    Hey !!!!

  67. 67
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    A damn good thrashing…

  68. 68
    Tachybaptus says:

    And to use the headless body for that fine Afghan sport buzkashi, which makes polo look like a babies’ game.

  69. 69
    A National Socialist says:

    Horse trials?

  70. 70

    Couldn’t he use a pasty as a shuttlecock and kill two birds with one stone?

  71. 71
    Harry Hill says:

    “Who is worse Cameron or Blair?”
    “There’s only one way to find out”
    ” Fight”!!!………. to the death

  72. 72
    Ah! Monika says:

    How do you tell the difference between a Gregg’s Pasty And a shuttlecock?
    Thet both taste the same1

  73. 73
  74. 74

    This country is getting beyond shite.

    I thought the second hand horse scandal was pisspoor enough, but a squabble about where he bought a fucking pasty? For fuck’s fucking sake.

  75. 75
    Asian babe like beast says:

    Dave is a pasty
    Smooth and unwrinkled
    Slightly brown, looks tempting untill you break the crust and find the sluge inside take one bite and then throw it away
    The Ginsters pasty of politics

  76. 76
    Asian babe like beast says:

    Well he certainly isnt a conservative

  77. 77
    Tachybaptus says:

    The horse is innocent.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    great post,

  79. 79
    Tachybaptus says:

    Do you happen to know what the odds were last week?

  80. 80
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    The story about the pasty is following the same fucking pattern as the horse story.

    Caneron is now trying to get out of the mess by indulging in a bit of union bashing.

    How dare people even think about striking!

    Why doesn’t he just legislate to ban industrial action?

    The country is in a mess and the mess will only get worse between now and 2015 unless something gives.

    I can hardly believe that UK taxpayers were today advised to stock up petrol in a jerry can.

  81. 81
    Mike "Gaylord" Handycock says:

    oooh get you big boy, I can swing both ways…

  82. 82
    fruitcake says:

    Nah, orf wiv ‘is ‘ead

  83. 83

    Probably more feathers in a Gregg’s Pasty…

  84. 84
    Dаνіd Саmеrоn (Lаbоur's sесrеt wеароn) says:

    Реtеr dіdn’t tеll mе іt wаs gоіng tо bе lіkе thіs.

  85. 85
    grobdj says:

    Desperate to avoid another quarter of contraction, the Government encourages all to fill their vehicles to brim-full, in the last week of Q1 2012

    16 million vehicles time £25 quid = 0.1% of GDP. Please remember this when wonking over the GDP figures in a few weeks time

  86. 86
    joescotus says:

    sometimes you need the rest ,,not knowing when politicos fuck you up the arse

  87. 87
    dick emery-board says:

    Ooh you are awful but I like you.

  88. 88
    Ed Milliband monger says:

    May i just assure you that I have only consumed Sausage rolls that are both halal and kosher and also that as they were bought through a familiy trust I was not liable for the blood suucking Tory 20% tax

    Ed , what do I say next?

  89. 89
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Sorry, I’m not interested in the temperature of your globes.

  90. 90
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Mad Frankie Maude for PM, I say. Hours of harmless fun. Have you seen the queues for petrol?

  91. 91
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    A typical Labour politician in action

  92. 92
    Chris Bryant says:

    I like a good pork sword

  93. 93
    Gooey Blob says:

    Anyone catch Miliband talking about the UNITE strikes this afternoon? He used exactly the same response as last year when he answered every question with the same soundbite. “Both sides should get around the table, blah blah blah…”

    Miliband is a complete joke. He needs to be pressed on this subject more often.

  94. 94
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Cameron singing the Pasty Blues

  95. 95
    The Other Ed says:

    Say what you always do. These strikes are wrong, and that both sides should get around the negotiating table…

  96. 96
    ThickAsThievesReborn says:

    That’s r4cist.

    Ob4ma 1012 FTW

  97. 97
    Fish says:

    Just like they did in the BA strike, Unite are being allowed to agitate for a strike with no specific aims. Just something nebulous like H&S and ‘industry wide T&Cs’, whatever that means.

    Interesting that this action is co-ordianted against a number of employers and is designed to do as much damage to the economy as possible.

    Watch RMT attempt the same stunt against all rail companies even though they are separate employers.

    All BBC Drive and Peter Allen could do tonight was take the piss (although the Tories did ask for it). But in the interest of balance they could have got Marxist Miliband and Trot McClunky on to explain themselves.

  98. 98
    Tachybaptus says:

    Truer than you think. Artificial beef flavour is made by processing chicken feathers.

  99. 99

    Sie sollten sehen, was sie in Deutschland zu essen! ;-)

  100. 100
    AC1 says:

    Reminds people of the loony left.

    Economically wise

    Can we have a conservative leader of the conservatives?

  101. 101

    *************** FUEL UPDATE ***************


    **************** DON’T PANIC ****************



  102. 102
    St Piran says:

    Fake! Not crimped on the top.

  103. 103
    annette curton says:

    Being a chicken sets you free?.

  104. 104
    Just the tip of the multiculti enrichment of my country. says:

    Just what do the bbc think they will achieve by the daily attacks on the Govt? Oh yes to do everything possible to derail every attempt made by the Govt to get this country back on track – then what, Ed the Gimp and Sweaty in charge. give me strength – might as well have a civil war and have a proper sortout.

  105. 105
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I be The Apprentice?

  106. 106
    He who cant mentioned has started a blog says:

    He has gone and done it!

  107. 107
    Bugs Bunny says:

    No, you can’t– this is what you’re gonna get, Doc!

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Basically he’s got to do something chavvy everyday for a month to detoff. Maybe get a tattoo of Sam.

  109. 109
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    In a rare defence of the BBC, did you hear Eddie Mair on PM today tear a new one in that snivelling little shit, Chris Leslie, over the tanker-drivers’ strike ?

    You could almost hear the greasy-pole-climbing, brown-nosing, bearding turd squirming in his seat as Eddie reamed him a new orifice.


  110. 110

    Pauline, they’re playing my song !!

  111. 111
    Ah! Monika says:

    keep taking the tablets

  112. 112
    Gordon Mong says:

    I would have worn my jacket.

  113. 113
    Ah! Monika says:

    let him do a week on a tyre manufacturing line in the Midlands.

  114. 114
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am all in favour of apprenticeships, but let me tell you this is no time for a novice,

  115. 115
    A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

    Hallelujah, someone talking sense at last .

  116. 116

    Our host regards it as arbeit.

  117. 117
    Cosmetic Tinkerer says:

    The Tory benches are going to have to be re-upholstered in Burberry.

  118. 118
    Gerald Von Ponceland Vernon Jackson says:

    I didn’t know that Handy, come round for a drink.

  119. 119
    Just the tip of the multiculti enrichment of my country. says:

    You won’t know about this because the bbc say it isn’t happpening so…………just to keep you up to date with the current proceedings against the first group of fine upstanding ???citizens???…………read below.

  120. 120

    Are you sure?

    There are no pinctuation pobrlems.

    *Good on him if he has*

  121. 121
    not a machine says:

    Looking at the telegraph , notes an interesting moment , in the political fortunes ……………….
    I will at least say this Benedict Brogan does at least editor differing opinons , somthing for everyone in tommorows edition .

    Leaders have bad weeks , fair enough , nor do I doubt the PMs abilities to understand the moment , Eds gone paternal for pasties , Daves gone eternal for gov change for choice ……………. Peter Oborne on the other hand finds a cromwellian view …….

    (sighs hoping it ends well )

  122. 122
    Ah! Monika says:

    Dave needs a face transplant.
    Any suggestions?

  123. 123
    Some Geezer wot can't be arsed to start HIS own blog says:

    One not out at the close of play for March 28. Good luck to him (sincerely).
    Hopefully he’ll post this old favourite:

  124. 124
    Gonk says:

    Balls would have carried his jacket over his shoulder and played backhand.

  125. 125
    Tachybaptus says:

    Can’t he just put on his other one?

  126. 126
    Kebab time says:

    That may be a caption comp (on my blog) , soon ;)

  127. 127
    Crocodile Shoes says:

    Congrats Guido this sort of article allies you with a c**t like Paxman who was palpably enjoying himself wasting licence payers’ money on Newsnight arguing about whether or not a taste for pasties makes you a toff. And I really fucking hate that word “toff” – it’s used by chippy leftist types.

    I play badminton pretty well and I am not a toff and anyone who thinks otherwise is welcome to be thrashed 15-0 and then have the non-business end of the racquet shoved where the sun doesn’t shine.

  128. 128
    BOOOOOM no more Scotchland says:

    So there is a gas leak on a rig that produces a gas cloud that causes the rig to be evacuated. And they leave the gas flare on?

    Is this why Gordon went South?

  129. 129
  130. 130
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Diane Fatbutt could swap her arse for her face and no one would notice. They could put a Bulldog’s face on either of the Eagle brothers and no one would notice the difference, although I think it would be a big improvement.

  131. 131
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    If we were to leave the commune that barosso runs would that mean that the British parliament and its parliamentarians would go back to being relevant?

  132. 132
    Cornish Nasty says:

    Maybe, it’s an idea though eh!

  133. 133
    PC clitoris says:

    What a total Twat

  134. 134
    The man's a fuckin' jinx says:

    I heard after visiting Mexico he made a quick stop at the rig last week to wish them well and gave out free copies of his book ‘Beyond the Crash’.

  135. 135
    Gordon Brown says:

    Being prudent I’ve decided to increase spending on fuel and stored 50 jerry cans of premium unleaded in my garden shed.

  136. 136
    Proud to fail says:

  137. 137
    Diane Blubberbutt says:


    Don’t you dare try to divide and conquer my face!

  138. 138
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s long past the time when he should have gone west.

  139. 139
    It's in da DNA says:

    Looks like all that hard work paid off Dianne.

  140. 140
    Blinking heck says:

    Ed wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.
    Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but… something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”
    Ed groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did – better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s £1,000 an inch.”
    Ed perks up at this. “So,” the doctor says, “It’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out.
    But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision..”
    Ed agrees to talk with his wife.
    The doctor comes back the next day. “So,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?”
    “I have,” says Ed.
    “And what is the decision?” asks the doctor.
    “We’re having granite worktops in the new kitchen.”

  141. 141
    Jamaican chick pe@ says:

    Bloody hell. You actually achieved what you set out to do, well done Fatbot. Little wonder that you privately schooled your own sprog then.

  142. 142
    Marbles says:

    This could be Gordon’s moment. They would not let him save the world but he could prove his worth by saving the Elgin rig. Give him a tug boat and a tin foil suite.

  143. 143
    Mr Nobody says:

    BBC are not showing that clip now. But then, as everybody knows, the BBC aren’t impartial, they don’t like showing stuff which portrays Labour in a bad light, especially at prime time.

    Miliband was failing again, but the BBC decided to concentrate on attacking the government instead.

  144. 144
    Passing By says:

    The ‘Govt’ – as you call them – have every right and possibility – to end the BBc jamboree of bogus news and bullshit.

    Have they any intention of doing so? – my arse they have!

    Weak kneed, PC and distraught by PR bullshit, they f#ck about with innane policies, devalue the currency, reward, – as did the Moron, – bent and barmy bankers, and pander to the loony left.

    OK – their choice, – live with the consequences!

  145. 145
    not a machine says:

    Its a shame we have become accustomed to Chris Leslie answers as standard , hope his constituants enjoy his strike .

    Telegraphs new pro EU writer is going down a storm , lives in New York ! Keiser report UK version :) . I am not sure if he has got the gist of it yet 2nd or 3rd article , and resorted to global reasoning , world would be a better place if we all just etc etc . It takes some guts to write articles , that gloss over waste and corruption so , happy go lucky. see if his next shot is any better ………..

    Doesnt look much fun for Andrew Mitchel “raft of companies ” , hope St Tone wasnt advisor .

    Caption comp for Pope meeting Castro :
    Castro “its so nice to meet you and discuus matters ”
    Pope Benedict “its not me you want to say sorry to I am only his agent “

  146. 146
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m regular too! I do my jobby every morning – in the potty if nurse is on the ball, – or else in my pants. But I don’t mind that because nurse has to wash my botty clean with warm water and that’s nice.

  147. 147
    not a machine says:

    ah but if its on tax payer expenses will you sell it off at 1p a litre , just askin as you got form ………….

  148. 148
    Mein Fuhrer RumpyPumpy says:

    zat is just vant vee vant!

  149. 149
    Larry the cat. says:

    I think Dave is in trouble.

    The rats have cottoned on that he takes money from rich people, wines and dines them, then passes laws to make them even richer.

    The mice have realised that he is taxing their granny’s pension at rates more than millionaires pay.

    The Janners are now having to pay tax on a pasty hot out of the oven.

    The drinkers are going to be taxed out of drinking.

    The gayers are going to be forced to marry.

    People who offend other people with words are sent to prison.

    Terrorists are given state benefits and up market social housing.

    Electricity bills are going through the roof to pay for windmills.

    And there is much more. It was nice when I first came here but the magic has gone.

  150. 150
    Ivor Dewdney says:

    It doesn’t have to be crimped on the top. But puff pastry ? Looks like Ginsters shite to me.

  151. 151
    Kernow says:

    Since when did Yorkshire baker Greggs make proper job Cornish teddy oggies?

  152. 152
    Miliband hates Cornwall says:

  153. 153
    The facts says:

    Greggs was founded by John Gregg as a Tyneside bakery in 1939. It opened its first shop in Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne in 1951.

    So Ed Miliband is braking European law and supporting a Geordie pasty rather than a Cornish pasty.

  154. 154
    Ed Mil takes on Europe with his Geordie pasty says:

    Cornish pasty given EU protected status

  155. 155
    Tachybaptus says:

    While this is only moderately interesting, the article linked to it

    has a horrid fascination. Note the person at the far left of the picture, tucking into his 39th HelloKittyBurger of the day.

  156. 156
  157. 157
    The Poet Laureate Writes says:

    Subject: Camoron as Leader of the Tories

    This was the party dubbed ‘nasty’
    But Dave had a first from his ‘v’ahhsty’
    To de-tox the brand
    He held up his hand
    And claimed it had once held a pasty

  158. 158
    Call me Pasty Dave. says:

    Houston, we have a problem.

  159. 159
    Jack Swigert says:

  160. 160
    albacore says:

    Look, Larry, your job is to banish the rats
    There’s nowt you can do about all the fat cats
    Some pills you swallow, no matter how nasty
    Just toe the line. You might get a nice pasty

  161. 161
    Depressed button says:

    Nice one ‘Daisy’ and too true.

  162. 162
    Last of the Few says:

    Don’t worry the RAF has spent the last few weeks round our way (Lincolnshire/North Notts) ‘intecepting’ airliners with Typhoon fighters, they only have to get within a few miles to build a library of radar signatures of the different types of liners. They have already made the calculations on the footprint of the wreckage and where it can fall to cause a minimal number of casualties. If you like I can let you have the maps of the impact areas so you can keep away, your government won’t be releasing them though!

  163. 163
    Dave's best mate says:

    I love it when he talks dirty

  164. 164
    M says:

    doesn’t Milliband have any influence over their donors !

  165. 165
    M says:

    should take up crochet with Presscott next

  166. 166
    ffs! says:

    A Hello Kitty maternity suite? WTF!

  167. 167
    Shatner's Bassoon says:

    I’ll just pop this here

  168. 168
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Gordon Brown didn’t negotiate with me when he raided my pension – to pay for public sector pensions.

    Fuck off, we’re all in it together.

  169. 169
    Henry Ford ( deceased ) says:

    Who’s paying this turd to spout about protectionist capitalists who all indulge in lobbying , subsidy pork- barrelling and cartels ?

    Oh yes I see now .

    He’s got tenure at a university so it must be the American ..taxpayer !!

  170. 170
    Acker Bilk's Pastie Baker says:

    Of course Eton Dave bought a pastie in Cornwall . Doesn’t mean he ate it .

    In fact he kept it all these 15 years and yesterday was using it as a very effective shuttlecock — ‘coz it’s now become so petrified
    it can’t possibly break !

    Next time he’s down Sou’ West way I’lls have to invite him onto our local cookery programme ” Cam Dine With Me ” — arrrh

  171. 171
    Xavier Onassis says:

    This bum is good for nothing. Why is he fool enough to do what his ‘image consultants’ tell him? Imagine Churchill feeling he has to try to prove he’s good at a sport – any sport!

    Time to give Lord Snooty the push, methinks.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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