March 27th, 2012

Labour HQ “Cringe Sheet”

Despite improvement at the polls despair and upset continues at Victoria Street according to many of our Labour HQ sources. Though the General Secretary Iain McNicol conceded that there was an uplift in mood when David Miliband popped in:

The Executive Board chaired by Charles Allen, the distrusted Goldman Sachs advisor, has been renamed the “Senior Management Board” to calm down Labour’s National Executive Committee. It met on Friday in a panic and was by all accounts a pointless affair.

On Fridays the staff used to get an email from Iain McNicol, in true David Brent fashion it usually said what a great job he was doing, how hard he was working and how well everything is going. It was referred to internally as the ‘cringe sheet’ by staff and usually arrived late afternoon.

Concerns have been raised about the counter-productivity of the “cringe sheet”. Iain was asked to get it signed off by Charles Allen before it goes out in future. It hasn’t gone out since.


  1. 1
    What would Ed ask the gove to do says:

    Will they be invesigation into the leaks of the Balls -mail?


  2. 2
    Ah! Monika says:

    They must love you Guido.
    Can you tell what the traffic is from their ISPs?


  3. 3
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Liebour HQ still leaking like an ill-fitting ‘Tena’ !!


  4. 4
    Concerned for the plight of the underclass says:

    What a feeble shower. Have none of them got any chance of getting proper jobs? What happened to retraining for those unfortunates in our society without skills. Could they not be deployed at Oxfam shops?


    • 7
      Mr Helpful says:

      Fortunately, they all had at least 12 years of state education, half of them entered university, so they’re all fabulously well-trained and highly qualified, well-prepared for today’s global digital economy.


    • 8
      M says:

      Sounds like The unfortunates probably got jobs at labour HQ , but skipped the retraining


  5. 9
    Georgies Big Fat Budget Gaffe says:

    The impovement in the polls is not down to anything that Labour has done…it’s all down to Osborne pissing off the “Grannies” who comprise the majority of Tory voters.,…


    • 10
      Clive Dunn says:

      What about us Grandad’s – are we OK?


      • 12
        Ex Conservative Voter says:

        You are, Clive – like all true socialists, you f*cked off to the Algarve years ago.


    • 11
      Ex Conservative Voter says:

      That and George’s refusal to do anything about the ridiculous pr*ice of petrol.

      “If you went to Britain,” Dave joked to some American students, “you’d faint if you saw the pr*ice of petrol!”

      Yes, Dave, they would. And the reason petrol (tax: 60pc) is so expensive is… because of you, you stupid c*nt.


      • 16
        Mike hunt says:

        its a combination of many things, some under the control if the government but most are not.
        We have the fuel escalator (another of brown’s floaters which could be cancelled but they won’t), the start of the US driving season (demand and therefore price rises) but mostly it is the varacious demand of the Chinese.


  6. 15

    brentmcnicol look a right couple of cerebral palsy merchants, don’t they?


  7. 18
    Tay Ken DePisse says:

    “On Fridays the staff used to get an email…[which] said what a great job he was doing, how hard he was working and how well everything is going…”
    Sort of like the one YOU send them every Friday, Mr. Fawkes– thousands in Westminster get it, Labour HQ never miss it? (Although they probably actually look forward to yours…)


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP Propose 90% Cut in Overseas Aid | Breitbart
Ed Milibaaaand | Sun
Ed Miliband Phrase Generator | Guardian
Blair Right About ISIS | Jago Pearson
Miliband Will Be Prime Minister By Default | Alex Wickham
Labout Have Learned Nothing | Jeremy Warner
How Cameron Can Return to No. 10 | Telegraph
Balls Speech Was Mush | FT
Labour Makes a Mess of Its Big Moment | James Kirkup
Miliband Must Win Back Blair’s Englanders | Rachel Sylvester
Ed Balls’ Speech Was Pointless | Dan Hodges

Find out more about PLMR

Eddie Izzard, in his thirteenth year involved in politics, says he’s not cursed because it took Sir Alex Ferguson “seven years to win the premiership so it doesn’t really matter.”

cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?

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