March 23rd, 2012

Wee Dougie’s New Number Watcher

Eyebrows have been raised by the replacement Douglas Alexander has chosen for his departed spinner Steve Van Riel. You would have thought that as shadow Foreign Secretary he would have brought someone in with some actual foreign policy experience, but instead the one time campaign manager to David Miliband has chosen Michelle Napchan. She’s a pollster…

Officially the line is that Napchan will be helping to craft Labour’s message by focus grouping on issues like Europe. However, given that Wee Dougie was one of the few figures able to flit between the Blairites and the Brownites, he is a key unity figure in Ed’s Shadow Cabinet and the slightest hint that he is on manoeuvres gets people talking. One Labour spinny-type suggests that he has studied how Brown did things from the shadows: “he’s building his own private operation, his own army”.  Another Labour source was not so sure though: “The only army I see Douglas Alexander building is one with Action Men”. If there is ever a move against Ed, Guido would put good money on the “unity” man being involved


  1. 1
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Indipendance for Scotish socialists.

  2. 2
    Dazza says:

    Don’t trust him Ed!

  3. 3
    Sporran Bollocks says:

    The word you’re looking for is ‘scotch’

  4. 4
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    don’ch maind if I doo shclaaanggga! – hic!

  5. 5
    Sky's Peter Poofter says:

    My botty is so sore!

  6. 6
    Sizzla says:

    Labour seem to view leadership as knifing your rivals. This man has no principles beyond the acquisition of power.

    He’ll go far.

  7. 7
    Hang The Bastards says:

    The thought of one self serving incompetent idiot challenging another self serving useless tvvat….. It could get very messy… Let’s hope

  8. 8
    Grim says:

    I always thought playing with action man was a bit gay.
    1/72nd scale Airfix soldiers were much more fun.
    You could blow them up with those little red chinese bangers .

  9. 9
    Y says:

    has anyone else noticed how cameron is turning into gordon brown?

  10. 10
    smoggie says:

    He is a jockoe and the son of a Church of Scotland minister… aaaaargh! Have we not suffered enough?

  11. 11
    Gordon Brown says:

    I don’t want Teddy anymore, he’s got mucky stuff on him.

  12. 12
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Things seem to be getting more confused. Any worse and they will all be stabbing each other in the chest.

  13. 13
    Ah! Monika says:

    Use to buy them in France. Called petards. ( farts )

  14. 14
    Di Plumper says:

    My booty is so big

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    If wee Dougie ever has an Heraldic Shield made, he wouldn’t chose one ladder, but extension ladders.

  16. 16
    By Passer says:

    You’ll know for sure when you hear that ‘It’ Was The Right Thingy To Do!

  17. 17
    (DR) Dolly DayDream says:

    Here, – take one of these!

  18. 18
    smoggie says:

    Obama Biaattch didn’t think so.

  19. 19
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    If the government hoons up the NHS as badly as we know it it will, Andy Burnham will be the one who seizes the poisoned chalice from Ed.

  20. 20
    The fast show says:

    Is she a pollster, sir? Is she? A pollster? Oh, suits you, sir!

  21. 21
    respectable member of society says:

    I smuggled back flick knives as well on school trips.

  22. 22
    Barry o'Bama says:

    Who was that guy with the accent in the kithchenette on Air Force One ?

  23. 23
    Nurse says:

    Have you been rubbing Wee Willie Winky against him again? You’ll go blinder you know!

  24. 24
    Komrade Kallumn says:

    Lefties only stab in the back, it’s a matter of principal

  25. 25
    Barry O'Drama says:

    .. and who was that weird guy who got in my way in the White House kitchens ?

  26. 26
    Ah! Monika says:

    Tempted to bring a .22 Derringer back from the States but lost my nerve.

  27. 27
    Peter, age 5 1/2 says:

    Mummy, can we have a right-wing backlash at the next election please?

  28. 28
    Showbizforuglypeople says:

    I hear your pornographer boss is considering binning the Star on Sunday.

    What a loss to the industry that would be.

  29. 29
    Taxfodder says:

    Truth is you could put a retarded monkey into most political situations and find them sharper more agile and balanced than your average MP.

    So, most spinners will have their work cut out removing the banana skins before handing on the fruits of wisdom probably only then to discover the recipient has rejected the banana and eaten the skins.

    A job at a real zoo would be a step up!

  30. 30
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    So, some report about liver disease. Which would normally be an obscure piece in a medical journal, gets to be shoved high up in the news yesterday.

    And today its “something must be done” day, 40p/unit on alcohol. It’ll save loads of lives and stop violence. Because thats all caused by really cheap stuff straight from aldi.

    Coincidence? or same old bloody spin machine.

  31. 31
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Dave does actually look a little like Derek Draper. Really. But I bet he wouldn’t bring in “special brew tax”.

  32. 32
    Guess the ethnicity says:

    All the victims were approached individually before being groomed for sex and sold on for profit. The amounts of money involved are unclear but investigators believe thousands of pounds could have exchanged hands.
    Thames Valley Police refused to reveal the ethnicity of the suspected gang members, saying such information could result in victims being identified.

    Read more:

  33. 33
    Ichabod says:

    Why did the relevant bodies choose Stella Mccartney to design the gear for GB athletes at the Olympics ? Did they expect her to design something tasteful ? With the womens track gear they look like underage prole hookers; ladies athletic costumes are so skimpy these days that I watch in the hope that they take even longer to go round the track–except for some of the coloured ones because the tight fabric over their fat arses puts me off lunch.

  34. 34
    Steve Miliband says:

    How small is he?

    Thought the shadow defence minister, Jimmy somebody was being touted as leadership material

  35. 35
    Steve Miliband says:

    Camel Hoof seems to be exaggerated in the new gear.

  36. 36
    say what you see says:


  37. 37
    A pragmatist says:

    The Jock’s strapped for talent.

  38. 38
    Phil says:

    I take it that your being ironic bearing in mind that mascara man led the charge in turning Stafford Hospital into most favoured status before the shite hit the fan.

  39. 39
    Well it's a thought says:

    It’s not the amount of politicians that are sinking the country in debt but the amount of hangers on and baggage that we the taxpayer have to pay for, I thought we had an uncivil service to do the work for these politicians, time to sort out the politicians and their pay and expenses and staffing costs and where necessary make them pay for extras.

  40. 40
    smoggie says:

    They both smear lard on their hair, which helps with the affinity.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    wee Dougie and his sister Wendy are the Scottish Milibands having been raised by the labour middleclass mafia with a sense of entitlement the size of a planet.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    The fact that you were even thinking about “Gays” or Homosexuality whilst playing with your action man tells us something.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Granny tax backlash: Fury as full scale of Chancellor’s raid on pensioners emerges
    Around 700,000 people turning 65 next year will be hit the hardest
    The tax will take £3.5billion from more than 4.4million pensioners
    Senior Tories say the move is the Chancellor’s biggest blunder

    Read more:

  44. 44
    Ah! Monika says:


  45. 45
    Well it's a thought says:

    Who cares, apart the the centre of all Britains problems Londonistan, no one cares if they get dressed in the costumes , they should be wearing, clown costumes, they had a discussion on another blog about the “flame” being taken around the area and most were disinterested and some said it won’t get around as it will end up in cash convertors, they should have let France have it and left them in dire straits not us.

  46. 46
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Our last bastion of pleasure now to be taken from us by this totally useless so called Tory government
    Less than one percent of us go out and binge drink yet all of us will pay the price of Greed from these out of touch wankers
    i now for one want this coalition to fail just to see Cameron’s Fucking useless bean face being kicked out of no 10
    i don’t give a shit anymore who is in just so long as it’s not this shower
    The country has not moved since these pillocks got it
    we are stagnating as a nation because Cameron and Osbourne look incapable of tying their own shoelaces !

  47. 47
    Ah! Monika says:

    Exactly how would revealing the ethnicity of the suspects identify the victims?

  48. 48
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Yes. When osbourne was asked whether he payed 50% income tax, a much better response would have been to throw a turd at milli.

  49. 49
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    crap. modded again.

  50. 50
    Sophie says:

    Independence for the British from Cameron & his infernal big state nannying.

    Now he wants to mother us all with minimum price for alcohol.

    ANother tax on the poor, the middle class & again punishes the majority for the actions of the minority.

    He gets worse than Brown with each passing day.

    Vote UKIP.

  51. 51
    Sophie says:

    More voters for UKIP.

    Keep up the great work Dave & George.

  52. 52
    Ah! Monika says:

    A stealth tax?
    If alcohol is increased to 40p per unit then will there be an increase on VAT?

  53. 53
    respectable member of society says:

    Was with the old man a few years back going in to the US for xmas and he stupidly took an xmas pudding in his luggage. They weren’t impressed, detained him and gave him a fair few hours hard questioning.

    He got to keep the pudding.

  54. 54
    Sophie says:

    Keep repeating the mantra:

    “Immig_ration is good”

    And as we all know immi_gration is higher under the Tory led Coalition than under Neo Labour.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    How did Osborne manage to get a mortgage that was 46 times his MP salary?

    He not only have a very good tax accountant and a tax lawyer he also has an extremely good mortgage advisor.

  56. 56
    Dianne Fatbott says:


  57. 57
    Sophie says:

    Modbot in overdrive today

  58. 58
    Gonk says:

    He has a massive advantage over other Labour shad mins in that he doesn’t
    appear to have any facial ticks, self-pollute (in public anyway) or examine
    body debris in front of the camera. A big bonus for Labour I’m sure you’ll agree.

  59. 59
    A pragmatist says:

    More profit for supermarkets or more likely they will just find other lost leaders like red meat and chocolate. Stand by for an increase in binge eating.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Hope so, we need MPs from smaller parties. We will not be where we are if government has to be formed by more than 4 political parties coming together to form a government. At the moment MPs are like sheep going behind PM and his deputy.

  61. 61
    A Prick Posing as PM says:

    I say! Have my Friday Tractor stats been modded?

    Dashed bad show!

  62. 62
    A pragmatist says:

    “Nick Triggle Health correspondent, BBC News

    It is often said that alcohol is getting cheaper. That is not strictly true.

    Over the last 25 years the price of booze has been rising at a faster rate than other goods and services.

    The problem is that disposable income has gone up more, meaning we have more money to spend on luxury items and many of us are choosing to use that on alcohol.”

    So all this talk by the scummy left about poverty has been complete bollocks then? Who’d a thunk it?

  63. 63
    Gonk says:

    Bugger, sod, tit, pimp, crap. Modded

  64. 64
    A Prick Posing as PM says:

    It’s Friday and here are my tractor stats for the past week :

    Reduction in money paid to EUSSR scam – £0.00

    Reduction in money to O/S Aid scam – £0.00

    Reduction in money to green energy scam – £0.00

    Reduction in Government spending scams – £0.00

    Reduction in imm1gr4tion – legal and illegal – 0

    Number of illegal 1mm1gr4nts returned to source – 0

    Number of criminal 1llegal 1mm1gr3nts returned to native land – 0

    Number of QUANGOs abolished and burned – 0

    Plans for referendum on EUSSR – no progress


  65. 65

    He not only HAS a very good tax accountant and tax lawyer. ( noo “A” needed there!)

    Two mistakes in one sentance again Boy – have you been paying attention in class, or have you been fiddling with the change in your pocket again!!!

    You will write out 100 times:

    Guido Fawkes is NOT a left handed website.

    Yes isn’t life tragic – Now fuck off

  66. 66

    Make the nasty man stop, Nursey!!!

  67. 67
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Welcome to America No2

  68. 68
    Rob Roy says:

    And the first Prime Minister of the independent state of Scotland is David Milliband.

    And the first Chancellor of the independent state of Scotland is Douglas Alexander.

    After this years riots it will come to pass.

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