March 23rd, 2012

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram this week will round-up budget week highs and lows. Don’t forget you can now read the Sunday edition of the blog exclusively in the Daily Star Sunday.

Subscribing to the Guidogram makes sure that you get emailed Guido’s round up of the week. Thousands of Westminster insiders read it, Labour HQ never misses it.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop.

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

UPDATE: Too late it has gone.


  1. 1
    Jeff says:

    I dont miss it


  2. 2
  3. 3
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Conservative MP Sarah wool?ston on radio4 a couple of mins ago.

    She’s just said that the subsidised bars in the house of commons are not subsidised by the taxpayer. Who paid for that then, the tricky old lizards?


    • 4
      nellnewman says:

      Oh dear another politician who doesn’t understand basic economics. worrying.


      • 10
        Ex-Conservative voter says:

        Not only does she think MPs’ drinks subsidies aren’t subsidised by us, she “Voted moderately for more EU integration.”

        Ah, yes, another Tory MP with the finger on the pulse of the nation.


        • 122
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          I heard her too. The woman is a cretin.

          What is it with these people? First they impose a Soviet-style health system on us, then they think that gives them the right to tell us what to eat and drink, how much to exercise, etc., etc., when no one in science really has a fucking clue. Example: Body Mass Index is just an arbitrary measure plucked more or less out of thin air, yet it’s quoted by these shit-heads as if came straight off a tablet of stone.

          My fault, really, for listening to the BBC, which I try not to do. The Voice of North Korea is more balanced and far more interesting, even though I have no idea what they’re jabbering about.


    • 12
      David Camoron says:

      My “all-female selection lists” certainly brought in some terrifically clever totty, eh?


    • 33
      Anonymous says:

      If it is by someone else and not tax payers it could be thought as bribe.


  4. 5
  5. 7
  6. 8

    Terrible – these pensioners being paid £64 more. No wonder the dead tree press are, to a man, up in arms.


    • 14
      Stinkfinger says:

      Todays baby boom Pensioners think they have it hard.
      Imagine being age 70 and still being chased from arsehole to breakfast time by the job centre.
      That is what’s in store for the rest of us poor c*nts born after the mid 1960’s.


    • 15
      David Camoron says:

      Some people say I’ve been hard on the elderly, but that’s bally-well not true. Why, when my head gardener of 20 years turned 85 last week (I think his name was Roger or Caruthers or something), I shook him warmly by the hand, saluted him for his splendid service and then shot him in the back of the head. Quick. Clean. Painless.

      And then I took the change from his pockets, and his watch. He’ll be buried in the servants’ pit behind the stables.

      How about that for taking care of the elderly?


      • 21
        Stinkfinger says:

        One measure could increase revenue,lower pension costs and save on hip,knee and bollock operations.
        Cut the tax on a packet of fags by 75%


  7. 13
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:




  8. 16
    Her Majesty says:

    Today I have been to Media City in Salford.

    Very nice.
    But then they do get 3.5bn quid a year.

    My favourite part was looking in a large warehouse with enourmous heaters and blowers in it.

    “This is where we dry the bed wetters mattresses, your highness. Most days its full.”
    “I see..pongs a bit , doesn’t it?”
    “They are mostly on a vegetable based diet, your majesty.”
    “Really? Well I could murder a Big Mac.”
    “Unfortunately not. Not within 10 miles ma’am. There is a lentil and tofu vending machine in the foyer. Or would you rather wait until we get to the Trafford centre?”
    “I’ll wait, thank you.”


  9. 24
    Jimmy says:

    You wouldn’t have thought there’s be that much money in a mailing list of guidophiles. Goes to show.


  10. 26
    Ah! Monika says:

    Putin’s back!

    Former Russian banker German Gorbuntsov is in a critical condition after being shot several times by a man armed with a sub-machine gun in east London.


  11. 30
    not a machine says:

    The two competeing arguments from the home and health secretary , are two sides of the current cheap supermarket booze problem . perhaps it is solvable better if wines are just left out equation , and we try and get drinking back into pubs again , and licencee via counter affair .
    I do not doubt there is drinking problem , where some people are not realising alcohol oblivion most days of the week is a life threatening problem , I doubt you can do much about enjoying weekend from work , but buy enlarge before pub prices took care of £40 for a nights bender , the cheap buy some from supermarket problem , didnt add to fri/sat nights .

    It costs the NHS quite a bit of money to deal with problems of fri/sat night , let alone those now rolling in from longer term alcohol and drug abuse , because they do not consider restraint of benefit . Finland has some of the highest alcohol prices going , so it might be worth comparing , cultures to see if abuse can be reigned in .
    The culture and society aspects cannot be ignored , by sperating pub from home , we had a sort of shop that had its own rules , if your landlord was like some of the old skool ones I remeber , although some are happy if you do just spend your life in a coma in there pub . Now we have this more get loaded at home cheaply and then hit the scene and for some , just get loaded at home .
    The more pub orientated social drink has perhaps gone with the pub , so whats left increased sales and a health problem ???? or some spending a bit on a luxury in safety of home , and not trouble in pubs …

    The problem certainly seems to have some new clearly defined problem groups , I dont think the wino group has changed much , down and out , with little hope etc etc , the new groups seem to be ones with money , but dont seem to consider they may have or may be developing a problem .
    Quite what has changed from fri/sat night , let your hair down event is interesting , I used to drink along as much as the rest of them , but never in the day and only a few for social in the week , because it always was part of work ethic during week . I drink very little now as do most of mt aquaintences , they dont go clubbing and have mortgages etc etc . I had one friend who under 30 had damaged his liver through drink , he pulled it round after DRs warning , I only know one other who nearly died through drink abuse over 5 or so years , but he just lost his business and couldnt see he was in a mess .
    Dont know any heavy female drinkers , so cannot say whats going on in ladette culture , my only note is that some traditional femanine culture has gone . Dont do drugs anymore , saw that for one way ticket it is , early enough , but assume that culture is still claiming its idiots as its cheaper than booze .
    My stance is dont legalise drugs , ive seem what happens , when they are underground , high odds of ending in a mess as a person , from that money for death market .


  12. 37
    Abdelbaset al-Megrahi says:

    2012’s Diana


  13. 46
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    FFS Government figures say that 50% of all booze sales is drank by Binge Drinkers
    You couldn’t make it up , errrrr yes you can !


    • 49

      What about the other 73.25%? Hic.


      • 82
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Hi mate ! bet your glad you no longer reside in this shit hole ?
        Where the hell do they get 50% from they just pluck a figure and run with it because they have no fucking idea what they are talking about
        99.9% of people drink responsibly and don’t go out fighting with police don’t need a lift home in an ambulance
        When you look at this bill , it’s a fucking outrage , Which once again will make no difference to their publicly funded high life style their publicly susidised bars and restaurants won’t cost them a penny more it will cost us but not them
        i just wonder how long the people of this country will put up with the shit they feed us “we are all in this together”
        piano wire and lamp post time me thinks !


        • 100
          Call Me Dave - Crouching Lettuce, Hidden Quisling says:

          I know, in these times of austerity, there are many reasons why negativity should take root but doesn’t. What do we see instead? The wonderful sense of humour that the British people possess shining through, that’s what! Poking fun at people, aiming light-hearted jokes at politicians, jokes about piano wire, about feeding myself into the moving tracks of a Challenger II tank and playful remarks involving sniper rifles. It’s a sense of humour that makes Britain such a vibrant and diverse place, that enables the people living in Britain to overcome adversity again and again.

          And it is a sense of humour that keeps my feet firmly on the ground, building the policies that people want and need for their futures.


        • 102
          Little Miss Pickledliver says:

          To be honest, Frankie, your statistics are not mutually exclusive. To whit: “50% of all alcohol is drank by binge drinkers” and “99.9% of people drink responsibly” do not preclude one another.

          You see, 0.1% drink 50% of all alcohol. If not more.

          And to be honest, that 0.1% is me.


    • 66
      Stinkfinger says:

      If drugs are legalised how do the pro legalise drugs lobby propose to ‘encourage’ addicts to give up?
      Tax the fuck out of them that’s how.
      Careful what you wish for Winston that illegal weed you are currently smoking is cheap at half the price.


    • 67
      Well it's a thought says:

      These politician’s are not really from this planet or at least they haven’t got a fkin clue how us trash live.


  14. 57
    HA HA says:

    OT but, being a first-time contributor to this site, I’m sure the ModBot will forgive me this indulgence:-
    I hope I wasn’t the only human who heard Ed Balls being laid into by some disgruntled, hard-working pleb whose memory stretches back further than 24 months and whose pension now “wouldn’t buy him a decent holiday in the sun”, live on Labour-loving BBC Radio 2 this afternoon?
    This chap managed to tell poor Ed, on air, that he was “full of bullshit” and that 13 years of Labour government had, as well bankrupting the country, basically negated all the saving he’d done via his pension scheme.
    Pensions are for poofs and the feeble minded but this guy really gave Balls both barrels.
    Ed was audibly blinking by now and struggling to get a word in edgeways against this non-believer so I cracked another beer, turned my face to the sun and wondered where this Springtime panto was going to.
    Well, after the right-wing, pension-deficient agitator had been muted, the apologies for fruity language flowed thick and fast before Mr. Balls offered his sympathies to the bloke for having lived through a global financial crisis that happened to occur on Labour’s 13-year watch……….

    ………etc. etc. ………….

    Best laugh of the day though. Cooeee to anyone that knows me.

    HA HA x x


  15. 60

    I have this almost uncontrollable desire to be extremely rude to someone.

    Problem is, I can’t find anyone here whom I hate enough to vent my spleen upon.


  16. 84
    Sarko says:

    Oh well at least Dave’s booze tax will benefit the Fench Booze cruise again.


  17. 90
    second-time poster says:


    A customer walks into Mr. Patel’s newsagents and asks

    “Do you have the Star on Sunday with Guido Fawkes’s column in it?”

    Mr. Patel replies “No demand and, anyway, page seven fellas were never allowed to show their columns. What, what, ding-ding”.

    Customer says “Yes, quite, but have you actually got a copy?”

    Mr. Patel replies “No. Are you going to buy anything from my little shop or shall I call the police to have you removed, sir? What, what, ding-ding?”


    • 101
      Stinkfinger says:

      A teenage girl walked into Mr Patel’s newsagents and was last seen being spitroasted in the back of a BMW.


    • 142
      Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes and this ain't one of 'em says:

      Something more likely to happen in Mr. Patel’s shop if it is in certain quarters of large cities:

      A man walks into Mr. Patel’s shop. He’s wearing a balaclava and he’s brandishing a Rambo knife…

      Sadly, this is no joke. Especially to Mr. Patel and his family, who can consider themselves quite fortunate indeed if nobody is that seriously injured and they didn’t lose TOO much in the robbery.

      It IS a sick joke that far too many of us think of these things happening as being so commonplace as not to notice it anymore when they do.


  18. 95
    Cameron shows his true socialist colours says:

    Nanny state gone mad. Why not a minimum price for high heeled shoes or skate boards?

    Cameron should hang his head in shame


  19. 99
    Mr Stavros says:


  20. 121
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    If they don’t like all the mad turnouts in city and town centers on a Friday night they should spread the pubs about the place like they used to be. that way all the frustrated and pumped up youth cant show off so much and don’t try to outdo every one else on how much booze they can get down their Gregory.

    I blame Jeremy Bentham and his panoptican model so favoured by the socialist on their housing estates and now used town centers.


  21. 131


  22. 138
    Mark says:

    Fuck Caneron, He’s a chinless wonder.


    • 144
      albacore says:

      Is he truly a chinless wonder
      All PC gob and bluff and blunder?
      Or is his mission to outdo Brown
      In knocking what’s left of England down?
      It’s a miracle of rare device
      That chance threw up such prodigies twice


  23. 141
    not a machine says:

    Tim montgomerie found his stride on tonights any questions ….. threw somthing at that big vaccuum I think .
    I didnt realise it had run to tax avoidence in ruins reign , my thanks none the less .


    • 151
      Archie says:

      Agreed, but did you hear Dumblebore trying to drown out Maude? Lefty c u n t! Credit to Maude, though, he stood his ground!


  24. 143
    Labour Stole My Pension says:

    Minimum alcohol pricing is nanny stateist control freakery at its worst. It’s a red line as far as I’m concerned.

    I won’t vote for the coalition again. I shall stay at home next time.


  25. 145
    700,000 angry grannies target Dave & Co says:

    “Grannies” start the fight-back as they target Osborne over Budget and raise e-petition to force debate in Parliament


    • 146

      And that is just for increasing their pay. Good thing he didn’t reduce it.


    • 147
      Well it's a thought says:

      Politician’s have had their own way for years, it’s about time somebody fought back and reminded these vile people that they are employees not employers, were are not a business where shareholders don’t have a say in the company they own.


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