Friday Caption Contest (Binge Britain Edition)
There’s a crate of premium strength lager for the winner. (Now worth £120)
Secret of Farage’s Success | Prospect
It Was Beeb Not Tabloids That Smeared Help For Heroes | Speccie
Alternatives to Business For Britain Are Muppets | Charlie Mullins
Obama Counsel Knew of IRS Claims Weeks Ago | WSJ
Bunga Bunga Trial: Dancing Girls, Nuns, Nurses & Obama | Reuters
Dave Must Learn From Conan the Barbarian | James Kirkup
Tory Infighting Will Let Miliband In | The Commentator
Real Swivel-Eyed Loons Are in Number Ten | Telegraph
Bozier Accepts Caution | Political Scrapbook
Getting to Know U-KIP | ConservativeHome
Farage Telegraph Advert | Political Scrapbook
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Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
Harold Macmillan says:
” Evans, dear boy, Evans “
“Heres to you Nan”
“I AM AN ILLIBERAL Hunt WHO WANTS ANYONE WITH ANY CONSERVATIVE TENDENCIES WHATSOEVER TO VOTE UKIP AT THE NEXT ELECTION.”
Sorry, that’s more a rant than a caption. Still, needed to be said.
LOL at autoHuhne. Guido you joker.
CHINLESS IS GOOD FOR YOU
brilliant
Nudging is good for you….
Hooray Heavy.
..and it came to pass that Cameron morphed into Balls as he downed the velvet nectar!
What’s Cameron drinking non English beer for, hasn’t the brewry in LOndon closed down
Oh Dave, Dave, Dave – you really are the true successor to Blair. Remember Blair and aspirin and Blair and cheese.
Dave just because you advisors were socialist/stupid enough to advise to steal from pensioners their diminishing allowance, just because you gave the rich 5% off their tax at some stage in the future. You’ve pleased none of the people none of the time.
I suspect your real attitude to the EU means you have the nod of a good job later (A La Kinnochio).
And your response to being caught out and shown to be the charlatan that you are – lets hit people that enjoy a drink (bet you believed or were told that it would be popular and put things right).
It will make not make a jot of a difference Dave, if you were closer to the population you would know that, btw please tell me were I can get decent strength lager at 20p YOU MORON, you just get rabbit’s piss at 0.00005% alcohol.
I have voted Tory all my life even through the Heath years – but you are something else, something worse.
UKIP here I come and with loads of others as well.
Dave, you have done nothing to sort out the real problems – which is why we voted for you. Even Brown would have been preferable – at least he believed in what he was doing.
Down your pint – drown the sorrows I hope you feel in the quiet moments.
FAILURE,
Five more and it’s Pavement Kaleidoscope
On taxpayer expense, I can afford a horse as well now thanks to my friend. How are you doing Nan, want to be my cleaner?
I am too rich to pay tax.
You are evil you pension stealing Tory turd.
‘You are evil you steaming Socialist turd.’
Guido ffs
Gottlethegeer
“Ah, so that’s what Oiks drink”
£120, it is half of what Cameron is taking from my granny!
Yes, but one day your granny will switch on her TV and watch Indian astronauts heading for the Moon, and she can say, “I am so proud helped pay for that!”
(If she hasn’t had to sell her TV in order to afford some food, of course.)
Toodle pip!
Speaking of India recipient of our aid ‘not a lot of people know this’ but India has just loaned $10 billion to the IMF.
Relieved to note they are going to the moon & not adding to the effnic count over here.
What about the efnic count on de moon?
I didn’t thinkh our Asian problems were necessarily from India, more from countries ending in -stan.
You mean Indian astronauts using our overseas aid?
Hole in one, old chap. Precisely.
But it doesn’t all go to India, good Lord no – I’m giving hundreds of millions to Pa ki stan so they can build more nuclear bombs.
As I’m sure you know with your stocks and shares, it’s good to diversify.
David Camoron, or they could give it to talaban.
Pak istan can build a bo-mb or give it to Ta-laban to test our boy’s personal carriers.
Tories are scum.
I believe the expression you’re looking for is “Tories are filthy scum.”
As if I care. Now shut up you little oik, I’m off to mug your granny and give her money to my filthy-rich pals.
Toodle pip!
Crikey Eric, hit the sauce early today, haven’t we?
S.S.T. see above@236
Here he goes again.
C unt.
Here’s to a proper “TORY” budget. (And I expect to be re-elected). Tosser.
REPLIES TO THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT CONTRAVENE THE EU WOKING DIRECTIVE ”MAKING SURE SURE MY SHIT POST IS READ” SUBSECTION THREE ”IT MAKES THE PLACE LOOK UNTIDY” PARAGRAPH TWELVE ”YOU WON’T WIN ANYWAY”
Apart from the Prime Minister, no other Cabinet minister admitted to earning enough to be caught by the top rate, which applies to annual incomes over £150,000 a year.
This is despite several of Mr Cameron’s colleagues likely to receive unspecified levels of income from blind trusts, private firms and other property assets.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/budget/9161305/Budget-2012-David-Cameron-is-only-Cabinet-member-known-to-pay-top-rate-of-tax.html
Brilliant.
Fuck off you proles! All your pints are belong to me!
Your round I think Theresa!
“The drinks are on the taxpayers”
What is tax?
I am too poor to pay tax.
Tax is something one avoids. A bit like pensioners, at the moment. Horrible people, with wrinkly faces. And quite a lot of anger. Awful angry wrinkly people. How yucky!
Not as much anger as you, apparently. Nor as big a chip on their shoulders.
Black velvet and a buller boy’s smile
Black velvet ‘cos I’m the only one with guile
A new religion that’ll bring tax you to your knees
Guido, Harry and the rest of you fucking proles….
Stop drinking if you please
Black Ham is better!
Don’t be Vague, do a Hague.
Bottoms up cheers.
Bottoms up cheers.
No matter how much of this I drink, I still won’t be as clueless as Miliband.
Oi! That’s my sauce!!
Dave supports Boris’s plan to capture Irish vote in London Mayoral election.
I can afford it, even if you can’t
“I’m a pint is half tax kinda guy”
(muffled)
“What is a unit anyway?”
“And for that matter what is 40p?”
Drink away your Budget blues…
Drink enough of these and its like looking at the world througgh a kaleidoscope
haha like it
“Here to Gordon, the master of stealth tax”
My goodness, my Guinness!
How about “Guinness is good for you.
So we are pricing it out of your reach”
or
My goodness, the price of my Guinness!
My goodness, the price of my Guinness!
(modded???!!)
BejesusI think i’ll have another ten.
I’ve done my bit for the ‘millionaires cabinet’ and now I’m doing my bit for the latest Irish recession
“Bloody Theresa May is enough to drive anyone to drink”
Since Rebekkah lost the horse, Dave has stuck to the sauce.
Man dat “Black Velvet” sure hits de parts others don’t reach!
After a nice day watching the rowing at Henley, Dave decides to join a different type of boat race…
Two Etonians, one glass.
Now, Can I have an Irish passport too?
I hope to be in the same bracket (cell) as Bertie Ahearne soon.
Cherie Blair will give you advice how to get one.
Who photo-shopped me?
Guinness and vodka the recommended cocktail for preloading before PMQs.
1. “Feck, I needed that, especially after forcing Gideon to make sure my fellow miwionairres were well taken care of in the Budget. As for the pensioners, feck ‘em!”
2. “Thanks for the heads-up, Bertie, tell your IFA I’ll be in touch.”
“Don’t call me a chinless wonder!”
“Thats what you get for fox hunting”
Right, that’s the seventh, better go off and do PMQs..
“I am going to need this if Guido is going to run through the street naked”
Tosser
Tossers, all of you common people whom we live off…and you can’t do anything about it.
With a mouthful of something dark and Irish, Dave couldn’t help think back to his recent Washington visit…
We have a winner.
Seconded.
Thirded.
Quadrupled!
I didn’t know Ohama Beach was a Mick!
Bugger, there’s a shilling in the bottom..
Good one.
“From Top Totty to Toff Tory”
I like my shit black
at least theres one thing the paddies haven’t f’ucked up
By necking a few more of these subsidised beauties in double quick time I am definitely taking a short cut to a kaleidoscope explosion. All over the evil dwarf with any luck.
Homophobic chain-smoking binge-drinking car-driving pensioner with property in a corporate vehicle seizes the opportunity to glass Cameron.
I for one am pick sick of politicians of all particies moralising over drink. If the NHS is suffering then charge people who are treated for “alcohol related” diseases, although of course they’ll have paid already though taxation.
Then they’ll charge if your too fat, too thin, smoke, dangerous sports, get hit by your own wife, where would it stop!!
I’ve said this.
I have a friend who is an ambulance paramedic. He tells me that most of his Friday and Saturday evenings are spent picking up people who are absolutely legless from night clubs and taking them to hospital.
If they were charged, say, £70 for an ambulance, it might make them think twice.
I’ve said this.
I have a f*riend who is an a*mbulance p*aramedic. He t*ells me that most of his Friday and Saturday evenings are spent picking up people who are a*bsolutely l*egless from n*ight c*lubs and taking them to h*ospital.
If they were ch*arged, say, £*70 for an a*mbulance, it might make them think twice.
Sorry for asterisks. The first post got m*odded.
Dear Modder
What is wrong with my post? There is nothing in it which isn’t a fact.
modbot = tosser
Balls has his nice and soft voice for the Jeremy Vinyl show. You’re still a c*nt
2 callers giving him a tough time. BBC producer to be sacked as a result.
The strangers bar books New ventrillarquist act
One more gulp and then Bercow’s getting glassed.
‘granny tax’ boy do I need a drink before the ‘tramp tax’ kicks in
And you wondered how I would spend my extra £40K per year!
Who thinks the Chancellor will be booted out at the next reshuffle? Odds?
No chance – got too much on Dave
“Come on william, 3 down 8 to go. Tally Ho”
Preloading? No sorry thats for the ordinary folks, what I’m actually doing is freeloading!
Quick before Joyce gets here…
“Is that Owen Jones in the Rolls royce? Doesnt he have a ASBO?”
Nannying fuckwit.
Fuck off.
This bar is full of fucking Labour.
” I’ll have another please barman and a fruit based drink for Ed , your Majesty, another double “
I am a total hypocrite.
May: “It’s a minimum pricing pre-load!”
Country: “Surely pre-lash?”
“Knees up Mother Brown”
Anyone seen the bar steward? Oi Prescott hurry up…
Dave just couldn’t stop thinking about that Tulisa video.
Right, come here Bercow, I’ll have you, you little bastard…
“Here George – the next round is on YOUR nan”, winked Dave
“Thank Labour for Ed”
Alternatively:
Ken: “I see our Prime Minister has seasonal bronchitis too…”
For those of you that missed the reference: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/my-10am-tots-are-medicinal-says-whiskyswilling-ken-livingstone-6684763.html
Potato-head!
I’m going to go dull again. I was thinking along the lines of charlie kennedy, Dave being rich. etc.
But heres where I end up: Many people are wealthy enough for it really to not matter how much alcohol costs. If you’re a millionaire the effect of pricing is the same as if it was 1p/unit for someone on the minimum wage.
So I’d ask dave: why do YOU not drink too much? What stops you? Why did Charles Kennedy throw his political career away for the sake of drink?
Its a reminder to the rest of us that politics is all about what “other people” do.
They know people d**rink.
It’s just another good way of getting more money out of all of us.
We’re not drunks we are millionaires.
Me and Eric hate meeting Tories the Strangers’ Bar.
“First offender indentified in clampdown on binge drinking”
Sip. Savour. 2012, a bad year for pensioners, the work shy and you!
Let me try this pre-loading malarky then.
Cameron thrilled with the final stages of the Irish Peace Process.
Thinks: All the way to America to get a bloody pint: unbelievable. It’s not the pubs doing a Darling on me by banning me that I mind, but did the supermarkets, clubs and corner shops all have to join in?
I’d rather down a porter than be in Portadown
Is this port corked?
Gottal of gear
just “Preloading” Dave ?
‘Pilsbury Dough Boy in shocking change of brand allegiance’
‘David Cameron downs pint of Guinness and shouts “I fucking love the weekend” at a passing pensioner’ (Reuters)
Better get as many of these down as I can before the prices rise.
‘This bar is full of ****ing Tories,’ said Dave.
First pint in the pub and I’m completely shitfaced! Must be the ten I pre-loaded back at home.
‘Is that phlegm in my pint?’
‘So you say if I ‘pre-load’ enough of this stuff it’ll make Andrew Lansley go away? Really? Ok… Theresa, stop! What are you doing? THERESA!’
As Ed would tweet can’t beat a bit of the block stuff
One more of these and I’ll show you a Kaleidoscope Britain, Bercow.
He wastes
That’s what he does…………………………..
And i’ll tell you what
Grandma’s on tick, followed tax, followed more tick, followed tax.
Cameron says “I don’t care who you are,
or what you dream!”
The old grandad returns to the bar.
“Here’s to you, Davehab!”
And the fat cat hit the pensioners,
with all his heart.
Here’s to wasting.
{on foreign aid, EU, IMF bailouts for Greece, windfarms etc}
PURE GUTLESS
Forget the soundtrack!
Just don’t keep Harping on about it
It’s the only place in Westminster I can get good head.
“Fees for ‘Product Placement’ will become an ever more important part of our revenue stream going forth,” he announced, as he made sure to hold the glass, just right, for the photographers.
(Guido, I disqualify myself from winning the prize, as I’m teetotal; give the prize to someone who can enjoy it– some Scottish MP, perhaps?)
The only way they can accuse me of being liberal
I dont know why Sam complains so much ………………. cant be worse than swallowing this stuff !
And now I’ll take the piss on the floor.
Must get this pre-load seen off before being hit with those ludicrous House of Commons prices.
George and I always have 12 pints of Guinness before we write the budget
I’m a 10 pints-a-day kinda guy.
Dave sups another subsidised pint in the Strangers before vomitting on Eric Joyce who then headbutts a few tories before smashing a window.
But, in all fairness, it’s not like they’re causing a disturbance on public streets, that’s why they are reducing the price of booze in the Palace of Westminster and increasing it for the public.
He really is the son of Blair.
BLURGH! So this is what one drinks if not in the 45p tax bracket?
Proof that the “Pure Genius” claim is a fraud.
“The only way is Guiness”
Think I’ll order some rolls to chuck the bar oik next.
Podgy faced c’unt. Is it Ed Balls?
“I…I..I…’ll iver anovva one,hic.”
“Another pint, Prime Minister?”
“No another liver”.
This flatter than my budget
“George was right. It does taste better when you have a drink subsidised by taxing someone else’s pension.”
there are too many socialists in this bar
Guineas? I thought you said Guinness
We’re stealing your earnings, your savings, your pension, your benefits. We’re making sure you can’t heat your home or drive anywhere with fuel tax rises. We’ve kept Labour’s “Open Borders” ™, we’re using the left’s cancer of political correctness to subjugate you, we are spending EXACTLY like Labour, we are not doing serious cutting of the public sector spending, we have wasted £18bn on the political w**k-fest Olympics and £10bn+ on black-ops internet interception kit to spy on what you are doing on-line (nobodies like you are a threat to the government you see). We’re still claiming obscene House of Commons expenses claims, and we made sure that a sacrificial one or two went to prison to deflect attention from the other 600 fraudster MPs and peers caught fiddling.
And just to make sure you can’t drown your sorrows of all this fraud and corruption from the second worse government in the UK’s history, we’ve upped the tax we steal from you from booze.
Please vote Conservative in 2015!!!
Nice summary – needed to be said.
Just wish Labour had a real leader (not Ed), or that UKIP were just a little more than a one-trick-pony
What is the difference between a Pint of Guinness and David Cameron?
One is a stout brew,rich in Iron.
The other one isn’t.
That’s the first of my five a day….. Now for Ed the Unready…..
“I’ve got a bet for you Dave, if you can’t bolt another pint straight after this you have to use the word ‘kaleidoscope’ in PMQ’s.”
Who are you fuckin’ lookin’ at?
No-one has caught on to my cunning tactic of peering through the bottom of this glass to see Sally Bercow’s tits.
The great thing is that it makes them look like Dianne Abbot’s.
Good things come to those who wait.
Cameron: “Just one more and I will have beaten Hagues 14 pints in one night.” (hic).
What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
spend it on global Waaarmmmiiingggg!
And India’s space programme. And their French jetfighters.
Merci Beaucul
Another 13 and I’ll be on a par with the Mekon.
“Where’s this blasted worm I’m meant to eat?”
I’m looking forward to a stiff-one later
All this debt is making me feel a bit Queasing
Oh god – I can see the phlegm now.
That’s why he’s not stopping – it’s in one lump.
There’s nowt like a good pint of Obama Lager.
Broken Britain: Granny mugger disgrace snapped out boozing!
another pint of vandal strenght larger please luv!
MP stops for quick breakfast
Is Dave getting tired and emotional
If Derek Chisora gets any closer I’ll glass him!
Freeloader pre-loading.
“Come on then Joyce, where are ya…?”
Get this down quick before McBride makes a comeback.
+++Best caption +++
“Gureu Penis! Well at least I think that’s what the advertising slogan said!”
I am practising for a Guinness Boat Race with that Obama chappie!
Well, if they are going to put the bar prices up in the Westminster Bubbble, Dave might as well get ‘em down before they do.
How much is a unit of dat Oirish Black Beer?
The curse of the Moderator strikes again…
This champagne tastes funny
One swallow does not a Schwimmer make.
The Party Favor
Picking Up the Pieces
Nothing but the Truth
Trust
Friends
nuts!
Whaddya mean, I’m proud to be Stout…
Thank God the fucking press won’t catch me doing this.
In what way Prime Minister…
Smiles primly
Mmmmm, Michelle wasn’t kidding when she said: If you go black, you’ll never go back.
Perhaps it’ll help me forget the Granny Tax “
Dave goes for Hague’s drinking record….9 pints before PMQs
Looking into the glass, I see only us born to rule being able to afford to binge drink in the future.
“Very lucky member of the public manages to glass useless one-term PM in face.”
Bottom’s up William!
Pitbull shot.
They are not trained to shoot dogs only innocence people.
Hahaha. Listen to the thick c*unt at the end.
‘That’s cruelty…’
Not nearly enough fucking dogs shot if you ask me.
I find the so called camaraderie of those officers stood on the wall out of harms way wile their colleges arm is chewed off rather disturbing. If I were that poor officer I certainly wouldn’t want to work with them ever again.
Yes, there was not too much teamwork in evidence there.
The SAS know how to deal wiv ‘em. Let it grab your left forearm, lift it up then slide a knife up its exposed belly. That’s the way to deal with a “status dog”.
The local plods tend not to have knives handy as a general rule.
No knife handy, best bet would be to try and gouge the eyes?
Nope – offer the left arm then fall on it with extreme prejudice with both knees. Smash the fuckers ribs to pieces, puncture a lung or two. Then go looking for a house brick to finish the c*unt.
Ministers rush to pre-load prior to minimum alcohol pricing doubling cost of HoC pints
Bottom’s up William
Guinness Surger – for best results Pour slowly and place on Sam’s vibrator.
“It’ not do as I do It’s do as I say”
For those who missed it, here’s Brillo destroying toytown Trot Owen Jones.
Hahahahaha the stupid little prick!
If that were me I’d have gone beetroot getting caught out like that. But the shameless little prick just charged on with even more random bollocks.
He’s competing with Laura Penny for the soon-to-be-vacant Polly Tuscany position.
Facts? Facts? We don’t need any of those in Bedwetterland.
He just couldn’t bring himself to admit he was wrong. There’s no shame in having the guts to admit when you’re wrong. It’s actually a strength of character. But typical of lefties, he knew he’d been caught out and kept dodging the issue. But at least he got driven to TV Centre in a nice chauffeur driven car and had champagne in the green room. I wonder how he squares that with his socialist principles.
Embarressing but the other two are creaming themselves.
It’s depressing that Portillo would agree to be on the same show with that wicked and malicious c*unt Campbell. Never mind sharing a fucking sofa.
So that’s owen! Bless he’s not out of short trousers yet!!
Cocky little shit who’s not as clever as he thinks he is.
Well done Brillo for exposing his lies, damned lies and statistics.
The poor kid’s a ginge, too.
Thick as shit AND ginge. Life can be so cruel.
“Fleeing from Ken” thread, #68, 12:07 pm: Hugh Laurie from Blackadder 3.
Brillo dry fucked him in the arse and didn’t even give him a reach around, poor boy.
Fucking little twat.
# Grannie, grannie…hic!.. you’re lovely
That’s what I think of you
Grannie, grannie you’re lovely
And I’ve got a wee apology for you #
I’ve been standing here all day, drinking
Been feeling sorry for myself, and thinking
Now my PM days are gone, memories linger on
Thoughts of how I threw it all away…
I never should have taxed you, gran, you’re lovely
That’s what I think of you
Grannie, grannie you’re lovely
Forgive me, ol’ darlin’, please do! Hic! #
“They’re only a bunch of old grannies,
with faces all wrinkly and worn,
a hairy moustache
and cackly laugh,
and brains so incredibly small!”
Rude boy, go to your room!
Cameron’s
Gran: Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m 64?
Cameron: No!
I don’t give a flying f’uck what ed said…this the best head I’ve had since peter mandelson got his nuts stuck in the mangle
There’s something wrong with this Pimms
” If this is what powers Guido…….
if i drink enough of this they might call me the iron man
Prime Minister “Pre-Loading” before PMQS
Tulisa
This is how you swallow
As my mate Gideon said to his coke snorting whore, ” I love a bit o’ the black stuff.”
Minimum drink prices are for little people…
Mmmm. Tastes like shit.
And I’ve eaten enough of Clegg’s to know.
“No good things come those who fake”.
Dave says “It is only OK to drink subsidised booze if its subsidised by taxpayers”.
Bercow gets his revenge by serving Cameron a pint of slurry.
“If he didn’t exist, you’d have to invent him. Cameron: Pure Tedious”.
CHINLESS IS GOOD FOR YOU!
Mmm. Tastes a bit like Obama’s cum I spent all last week drinking.
“Yup, this is definitely raw sewage,” David thought as he drained his third pint.
“I’m the kaleidescope prime minister having a kaleidescope beer from a kaleidescope pub in a kaleidescope city.”
700,000 people turning 65 next year losing £323 annually while MP c u n t s like Cameron get taxpayer subsidised booze and food.
Tories are traitors. Tories are scum. They plan to steal the Serps pension.
Well, there’s not much left to steal after Labour plundered the country. Still, I got most of you with VAT, I’ve mugged old ladies, I’m after impoverished dr!nkers, I suppose I can go for Serps next month. What else can I nab? How about the shirt on your back?
Make sure it’s thoroughly washed in jolly-good detergent. My butler will be round for it on Monday.
Yeah they should take it off the kids. They don’t need it. They can get all the cash they want from scrumping from the magical money tree that Ed Miliband has in his garden.
source of government leaks revealed
Cameron celebrates his budget gains
You recall the Obama table tennis table present was ” Made in China ” ?
Well what you’re necking now is “Made in Ireland”!!
British jobs for British Workers ??
“Good things come with a clear mandate.”
So I said Granny, look you see, drinking DERV is a much cheaper option than Guiness
Is that a kaleidoscopic pint of “raw ” you’re drinking Prime Minister?
Daves impersonation of Guido
You’re so interesting! I do not think I have read through a single thing like that before. So wonderful to find someone with unique thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!
‘At least it isn’t the piss that Osborn drinks’.
Dave sips another subsidy
That’s one Head downed now two more Ed’s to follow
Cameron is a coward. Cameron is a turd.
Dave places a glass over his nose: “I’m Ed Milliband and I’m wewy angwy. A deconth clath dicket to Dottingham”
Pissed and broke.
Cameron is a fraud.
You do not drink Guinness like that.
As long as he gets his round in, he can drink it any way he likes.
Well, I usually get my butler to hold the glass to my mouth for me, but on that particular occasion he was in the infirmary after I set the hounds on him for coughing.
Guinness is good for me, but not for you!
“By Jove! Mugging Britain’s pensioners is jolly thirsty work! Time for another six pints and then I’ll go after people who can only afford cheap drinks, what what.”
Filthy pension stealing Tories are scum.
Cameron is finished. Boy George is a turd.
Do not trade with Tories. If a business is owned by a local Tory traitor boycot the scum.
I hate to have to break this to you, but the Tory party IS the party of business.
Your socialist friends represent the somewhat out-of-touch unions, and little else. They used to represent so much more than that. In a nutshell, that is why Labour will be out of power for another 8 years.
Empty vessel empties vessel.
Empty? EMPTY?! I’m full of shit, I’ll have you know.
Toodle pip.
That’s spiffingly bad form old chap, my vessel is full I’ll have you know and full of the very best that education has to offer and at a price you certainly can’t afford.
As an old boy of the finest binge drinking club in the world and having had vast experience of boozing and smashing up bars, I know what I am talking about when saying that demonic, evil, dastardly booze needs taxing to the hilt.
It will save souls.
Phwarrr! this is better than the cats piss they sell in TESCO’s
Some Tesco stores sell Suffolk Springer, which is actually very nice. Old Empire is also available on offer at the moment, and that’s nice too.
There you are: two reasons (the only two) why Tesco isn’t 100% crap.
Cameron tries to keep up with Eric Joyce, next round a 17 year old.
It’s my forfeit: I bet George he couldn’t surprise the Quad in his budget.
Smooth, black with a white head, just about ticks all the right boxes
Who said I don’t do irony?
5 more of these and I will piss all over Millipede at PMQ’s
Some of my best friends like a pint of the black stuff.
I’m going to get hammered, wear a ginger wig, proclaim my Scottishness and fall asleep on park bench
Here’s to the Iveagh’s, a fine, traditional family of tax dodgers, cheers proles.
Well worth £1.50 – Dare I tell Guido I’m in the Stranger’s Bar and minimum pricing doesn’t apply on Crown Property.
just think we could be watching gordon still…..urrrrgh
One swallow doesn’t make a PM spring into popularity.
Get these down your neck and we’ll go down the Plough.
That git is putting the price of beer up tomorrow.
(For the uninitiated, The Plough is the pub next to Call-Me-Dave’s constituency office)
Publican: “What did you do with the Guinness glass I put under that leak in the urinal?”
customer…. no problem I swopped it for the one in your hand earlier
Tastes too good for the peasants!
Muppett enjoys Goldman Sachs hospitality.
‘To beer or not to beer. That is the question.’
Cameron sucks down a black one until the creamy head hit his lips and he struggled to swallow.
If he can say as Clegg can
Coalition is good for you
How grand to be a Cameron
Just think what a Cameron could do
Pirates of the Caribbean V – On Even Darker Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow, once a young, energetic libertarian has somehow become Prime Minister of Britain, despite a colourful past and frequent run-ins with the law. Bloated and still fond of a tipple he faces a backlash when he attempts to raise the basic price of rum to distract the common people from his support of the wealthy merchant class. Starring Danny DiVito as the opinionated and colourful Cabin Boy/Speaker of the ship, Rowan Atkinson as the hapless adversary and Edie Falco as the obsessive Home Secretary charged with eliminating the dark and stormy scourge of preloaded rum cocktails.
Bottom’s up!
Now let’s see the peasants try and climb it!
Another pint of this and I’ll be able to piss on even more f-ing pensioners.
Well, that’s the preloading taken care of, now for PMQs.
What a sad waste of a superb pint!
Okay Dave. All you’re missing now is your cloth cap and sandwiches. Then you can foxtrot oscar over to the Liebore party where you belong.
Coalitions come to those who can’t wait
The vulture of Downing street Drinks the final bit of life out of the once prosperous pub trade (Subsidised of course)
It really is a kaleidoscope beverage!
CCTV footage reveals who nicked Guido’s pint…
Don’t try this at home. I only drink this stuff so you don’t have to.
and this is how we saved the irish economy
“…and yes, the advertising money won’t be paid until fiscal year 2013-14, Mr. Cameron.”
Must be careful I don’t swallow my change.
I am partial to the occasional subsidy in the evenings.
To beat Ken Livingston you must think like Ken Livingston.
Vince Cable being ever the joker got one over Cameron with the old superglue-round-the-glass-rim prank..
Guinness shares plummet after disastrous new ad campaign.
(& Guido, flowers arrived today.Mother was delighted & sends her thanks,as do I.)
Pleasure
Carlsberg don’t make politicians. More’s the pity…
Boris! Gideon! That’s enough pre-loading. Let’s get off to the Bullingdon.
Mr. Cameron downs his pint before Osborne doubles the price.
“Don’t feel too bad about increasing the cost of pre-loading George, we can actually afford to get drunk in pubs!”
George said that i had to drink up me medicine………
Here goes………….glug glug glug gone.
Poor people should not try this at home.
Tally ho
” Keep Froth “…… nil carborundum illegitimus.!!
The boy with the black stuff.
Howabout the purely descriptive: “Hunt drinks guiness?”
Its seems huhne is now a synonym for qunt. Fair dos
we need to win the north ok, so who’s up for a curry and a fight?
Through the bottom of this glass, I can see what John saw in Edwina.
“Before George’s Budget the glass was half full. Now it’s definitely empty!”