March 23rd, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Binge Britain Edition)


  1. 1
    Troll spotter says:

    “Heres to you Nan”

  2. 2
    Troll spotter says:

    “The drinks are on the taxpayers”

  3. 3
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Don’t be Vague, do a Hague.

  4. 4
    Robert Catesby says:

    No matter how much of this I drink, I still won’t be as clueless as Miliband.

  5. 5
    Ken "the Newt" Livingtsone says:

    Oi! That’s my sauce!!

  6. 6
    Chris Gillibrand says:

    I can afford it, even if you can’t

  7. 7
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “I’m a pint is half tax kinda guy”

  8. 8
    sockpuppet #4 says:


    “What is a unit anyway?”

    “And for that matter what is 40p?”

  9. 9
    John H says:

    Drink away your Budget blues…

  10. 10

    Drink enough of these and its like looking at the world througgh a kaleidoscope

  11. 11
    Troll spotter says:

    “Here to Gordon, the master of stealth tax”

  12. 12
    Toucan says:

    My goodness, my Guinness!

  13. 13
    Chris John says:

    I’ve done my bit for the ‘millionaires cabinet’ and now I’m doing my bit for the latest Irish recession

  14. 14
    Iain_31 says:

    “Bloody Theresa May is enough to drive anyone to drink”

  15. 15
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Since Rebekkah lost the horse, Dave has stuck to the sauce.

  16. 16
    Paddy Briggs says:

    Man dat “Black Velvet” sure hits de parts others don’t reach!

  17. 17
    MB says:

    After a nice day watching the rowing at Henley, Dave decides to join a different type of boat race…

  18. 18
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Two Etonians, one glass.

  19. 19
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Now, Can I have an Irish passport too?

  20. 20
    Eric Joyce says:

    Who photo-shopped me?

  21. 21
    Iain_31 says:

    haha like it

  22. 22
    Grommit says:

    Guinness and vodka the recommended cocktail for preloading before PMQs.

  23. 23
    Drewster says:

    1. “Feck, I needed that, especially after forcing Gideon to make sure my fellow miwionairres were well taken care of in the Budget. As for the pensioners, feck ‘em!”

    2. “Thanks for the heads-up, Bertie, tell your IFA I’ll be in touch.”

  24. 24
    Troll spotter says:

    “Thats what you get for fox hunting”

  25. 25
    I Squiggle says:

    Right, that’s the seventh, better go off and do PMQs..

  26. 26
    Troll spotter says:

    “I am going to need this if Guido is going to run through the street naked”

  27. 27
    the scrote says:


  28. 28

    With a mouthful of something dark and Irish, Dave couldn’t help think back to his recent Washington visit…

  29. 29
    Drewster says:

    “Don’t call me a chinless wonder!”

  30. 30
    I Squiggle says:

    Bugger, there’s a shilling in the bottom..

  31. 31
    Troll spotter says:

    “From Top Totty to Toff Tory”

  32. 32
    Steve Miliband says:

    I like my shit black

  33. 33
    john west says:

    at least theres one thing the paddies haven’t f’ucked up

  34. 34
    kaleidoscopeland says:

    By necking a few more of these subsidised beauties in double quick time I am definitely taking a short cut to a kaleidoscope explosion. All over the evil dwarf with any luck.

  35. 35
    James R says:

    Homophobic chain-smoking binge-drinking car-driving pensioner with property in a corporate vehicle seizes the opportunity to glass Cameron.

  36. 36
    Lord Stansted says:

    I for one am pick sick of politicians of all particies moralising over drink. If the NHS is suffering then charge people who are treated for “alcohol related” diseases, although of course they’ll have paid already though taxation.

  37. 37
    Steve Miliband says:

    Balls has his nice and soft voice for the Jeremy Vinyl show. You’re still a c*nt

  38. 38
    M says:

    The strangers bar books New ventrillarquist act

  39. 39
    Lt Col Kilgore says:

    One more gulp and then Bercow’s getting glassed.

  40. 40
    timebandit says:

    ‘granny tax’ boy do I need a drink before the ‘tramp tax’ kicks in

  41. 41
    B Lloyd says:

    And you wondered how I would spend my extra £40K per year!

  42. 42
    Troll spotter says:

    “Come on william, 3 down 8 to go. Tally Ho”

  43. 43
    Jon B says:

    Preloading? No sorry thats for the ordinary folks, what I’m actually doing is freeloading!

  44. 44
    matthew Hopkins says:

    Quick before Joyce gets here…

  45. 45


    Sorry, that’s more a rant than a caption. Still, needed to be said.

  46. 46
    Troll spotter says:

    “Is that Owen Jones in the Rolls royce? Doesnt he have a ASBO?”

  47. 47
    cunt watch says:

    Nannying fuckwit.

    Fuck off.

  48. 48
    Rejoyce says:

    This bar is full of fucking Labour.

  49. 49

    LOL at autoHuhne. Guido you joker.

  50. 50
    Gonk says:

    ” I’ll have another please barman and a fruit based drink for Ed , your Majesty, another double “

  51. 51
    Andrew Lansley (bastard) says:

    I am a total hypocrite.

  52. 52
    polarii says:

    May: “It’s a minimum pricing pre-load!”
    Country: “Surely pre-lash?”

  53. 53
    Troll spotter says:

    “Knees up Mother Brown”

  54. 54
    matthew Hopkins says:

    Anyone seen the bar steward? Oi Prescott hurry up…

  55. 55
    Regan MacNeil says:

    Five more and it’s Pavement Kaleidoscope

  56. 56
    Fartypants says:

    Dave just couldn’t stop thinking about that Tulisa video.

  57. 57
    Sp8yboy says:

    Right, come here Bercow, I’ll have you, you little bastard…

  58. 58
    B Lloyd says:

    “Here George – the next round is on YOUR nan”, winked Dave

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    On taxpayer expense, I can afford a horse as well now thanks to my friend. How are you doing Nan, want to be my cleaner?

  60. 60
    Troll spotter says:

    “Thank Labour for Ed”

  61. 61
    polarii says:

    Ken: “I see our Prime Minister has seasonal bronchitis too…”

    For those of you that missed the reference:

  62. 62
    Ian E says:


  63. 63
    Steve Miliband says:

    2 callers giving him a tough time. BBC producer to be sacked as a result.

  64. 64
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’m going to go dull again. I was thinking along the lines of charlie kennedy, Dave being rich. etc.

    But heres where I end up: Many people are wealthy enough for it really to not matter how much alcohol costs. If you’re a millionaire the effect of pricing is the same as if it was 1p/unit for someone on the minimum wage.

    So I’d ask dave: why do YOU not drink too much? What stops you? Why did Charles Kennedy throw his political career away for the sake of drink?

    Its a reminder to the rest of us that politics is all about what “other people” do.

  65. 65
    Cameron says:

    What is tax?

  66. 66
    Darren says:

    We’re not drunks we are millionaires.

  67. 67
    Glugalug says:

    Me and Eric hate meeting Tories the Strangers’ Bar.

  68. 68
    Troll spotter says:

    “First offender indentified in clampdown on binge drinking”

  69. 69
    Stephen says:

    Sip. Savour. 2012, a bad year for pensioners, the work shy and you!

  70. 70
    Clareyh says:

    Let me try this pre-loading malarky then.

  71. 71
    Cricket Bat says:

    Cameron thrilled with the final stages of the Irish Peace Process.

  72. 72
    Cut the Crimbo tax, Cameron! says:

    Thinks: All the way to America to get a bloody pint: unbelievable. It’s not the pubs doing a Darling on me by banning me that I mind, but did the supermarkets, clubs and corner shops all have to join in?

  73. 73
    Keith says:

    I’d rather down a porter than be in Portadown

  74. 74
    Stuart Davis says:

    Is this port corked?

  75. 75
    dia2digits says:

    Gottal of gear

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    just “Preloading” Dave ?

  77. 77
    Gulb says:

    ‘Pilsbury Dough Boy in shocking change of brand allegiance’

    ‘David Cameron downs pint of Guinness and shouts “I fucking love the weekend” at a passing pensioner’ (Reuters)

  78. 78
    Sir everard Digby says:

    Better get as many of these down as I can before the prices rise.

  79. 79
    Marshal Ney says:

    ‘This bar is full of ****ing Tories,’ said Dave.

  80. 80
    culloden says:

    First pint in the pub and I’m completely shitfaced! Must be the ten I pre-loaded back at home.

  81. 81
    Jakeswake says:

    ‘Is that phlegm in my pint?’

  82. 82
    Shane Warne says:

    ‘So you say if I ‘pre-load’ enough of this stuff it’ll make Andrew Lansley go away? Really? Ok… Theresa, stop! What are you doing? THERESA!’

  83. 83
    Smollensky says:

    As Ed would tweet can’t beat a bit of the block stuff

  84. 84
    Gary Clarke says:

    One more of these and I’ll show you a Kaleidoscope Britain, Bercow.

  85. 85

    He wastes
    That’s what he does…………………………..

    And i’ll tell you what
    Grandma’s on tick, followed tax, followed more tick, followed tax.

    Cameron says “I don’t care who you are,
    or what you dream!”

    The old grandad returns to the bar.
    “Here’s to you, Davehab!”

    And the fat cat hit the pensioners,
    with all his heart.

    Here’s to wasting.

    {on foreign aid, EU, IMF bailouts for Greece, windfarms etc}


  86. 86
    Cameron says:

    I am too poor to pay tax.

  87. 87
    Steve Miliband says:

    Just don’t keep Harping on about it

  88. 88

    Forget the soundtrack!

  89. 89
    A pragmatist says:

    It’s the only place in Westminster I can get good head.

  90. 90

    We have a winner.

  91. 91
    Some Geezer wot wonders who sealed the "bung" hole in this keg says:

    “Fees for ‘Product Placement’ will become an ever more important part of our revenue stream going forth,” he announced, as he made sure to hold the glass, just right, for the photographers.

    (Guido, I disqualify myself from winning the prize, as I’m teetotal; give the prize to someone who can enjoy it– some Scottish MP, perhaps?)

  92. 92
    Tony Lally says:

    The only way they can accuse me of being liberal

  93. 93
    The Last Of The Few says:

    I dont know why Sam complains so much ………………. cant be worse than swallowing this stuff !

  94. 94
    A pragmatist says:

    And now I’ll take the piss on the floor.

  95. 95
    molly knew says:

    Must get this pre-load seen off before being hit with those ludicrous House of Commons prices.

  96. 96
    Piz tup Dave says:

    George and I always have 12 pints of Guinness before we write the budget

  97. 97
    FavershamAss says:

    BLURGH! So this is what one drinks if not in the 45p tax bracket?

  98. 98
    Cameron says:

    I am too rich to pay tax.

  99. 99
    Paul says:

    Proof that the “Pure Genius” claim is a fraud.

  100. 100
    Troll spotter says:

    “The only way is Guiness”

  101. 101
    call me dave too says:

    Think I’ll order some rolls to chuck the bar oik next.

  102. 102
    Joss Askin says:

    Podgy faced c’unt. Is it Ed Balls?

  103. 103
    Backstairs Billy Vague says:

    I’m a 10 pints-a-day kinda guy.

  104. 104
    A pragmatist says:

    “I…I..I…’ll iver anovva one,hic.”

    “Another pint, Prime Minister?”

    “No another liver”.

  105. 105

    This flatter than my budget

  106. 106
    Shitting Treacle Later says:

    “George was right. It does taste better when you have a drink subsidised by taxing someone else’s pension.”

  107. 107
    neil ward says:

    there are too many socialists in this bar

  108. 108
    Steve Miliband says:

    Guineas? I thought you said Guinness

  109. 109
    Liarpoliticians says:

    We’re stealing your earnings, your savings, your pension, your benefits. We’re making sure you can’t heat your home or drive anywhere with fuel tax rises. We’ve kept Labour’s “Open Borders” ™, we’re using the left’s cancer of political correctness to subjugate you, we are spending EXACTLY like Labour, we are not doing serious cutting of the public sector spending, we have wasted £18bn on the political w**k-fest Olympics and £10bn+ on black-ops internet interception kit to spy on what you are doing on-line (nobodies like you are a threat to the government you see). We’re still claiming obscene House of Commons expenses claims, and we made sure that a sacrificial one or two went to prison to deflect attention from the other 600 fraudster MPs and peers caught fiddling.

    And just to make sure you can’t drown your sorrows of all this fraud and corruption from the second worse government in the UK’s history, we’ve upped the tax we steal from you from booze.

    Please vote Conservative in 2015!!!

  110. 110
    Mary J Binge says:

    Dave sups another subsidised pint in the Strangers before vomitting on Eric Joyce who then headbutts a few tories before smashing a window.

    But, in all fairness, it’s not like they’re causing a disturbance on public streets, that’s why they are reducing the price of booze in the Palace of Westminster and increasing it for the public.

  111. 111
    Stinkfinger says:

    What is the difference between a Pint of Guinness and David Cameron?
    One is a stout brew,rich in Iron.
    The other one isn’t.

  112. 112
    odeston says:

    That’s the first of my five a day….. Now for Ed the Unready…..

  113. 113
    Rob Broome says:

    “I’ve got a bet for you Dave, if you can’t bolt another pint straight after this you have to use the word ‘kaleidoscope’ in PMQ’s.”

  114. 114
    Phuquit says:

    Who are you fuckin’ lookin’ at?

  115. 115
    Sniper says:


  116. 116

    No-one has caught on to my cunning tactic of peering through the bottom of this glass to see Sally Bercow’s tits.

  117. 117
    Mary J Binge says:

    Then they’ll charge if your too fat, too thin, smoke, dangerous sports, get hit by your own wife, where would it stop!!

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Good things come to those who wait.

  119. 119

    Cameron: “Just one more and I will have beaten Hagues 14 pints in one night.” (hic).

  120. 120
    Professor says:


  121. 121

    What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
    What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
    What shall we do with the shrunken, tax take?
    spend it on global Waaarmmmiiingggg!

  122. 122
    The only way is A-sex says:

    Another 13 and I’ll be on a par with the Mekon.

  123. 123
    Stinkfinger says:

    “Where’s this blasted worm I’m meant to eat?”

  124. 124
    Sky's Peter Poofter says:

    I’m looking forward to a stiff-one later

  125. 125

    All this debt is making me feel a bit Queasing

  126. 126
    Tom says:

    Oh god – I can see the phlegm now.

  127. 127
    smoggie says:

    There’s nowt like a good pint of Obama Lager.

  128. 128
    Tom says:

    Broken Britain: Granny mugger disgrace snapped out boozing!

  129. 129
    smoggie says:

    That’s why he’s not stopping – it’s in one lump.

  130. 130
    Dave says:

    another pint of vandal strenght larger please luv!

  131. 131
    smoggie says:

    MP stops for quick breakfast

  132. 132
    Alistair says:

    Is Dave getting tired and emotional

  133. 133
    J . Lewis-List says:

    “Ah, so that’s what Oiks drink”

  134. 134
    ACDC1 says:

    The great thing is that it makes them look like Dianne Abbot’s.

  135. 135
    Realist says:

    If Derek Chisora gets any closer I’ll glass him!

  136. 136
    g1lgam3sh says:

    Freeloader pre-loading.

  137. 137
    Wilky says:

    “Come on then Joyce, where are ya…?”

  138. 138
    smoggie says:

    Get this down quick before McBride makes a comeback.

  139. 139
    Peter Grant says:

    “Gureu Penis! Well at least I think that’s what the advertising slogan said!”

  140. 140
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    I am practising for a Guinness Boat Race with that Obama chappie!

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    £120, it is half of what Cameron is taking from my granny!

  142. 142
    50 Calibre says:

    Well, if they are going to put the bar prices up in the Westminster Bubbble, Dave might as well get ‘em down before they do.

    How much is a unit of dat Oirish Black Beer?

  143. 143
    50 Calibre says:

    The curse of the Moderator strikes again…

  144. 144
    Krug says:

    This champagne tastes funny

  145. 145
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I’ve said this.

    I have a friend who is an ambulance paramedic. He tells me that most of his Friday and Saturday evenings are spent picking up people who are absolutely legless from night clubs and taking them to hospital.

    If they were charged, say, £70 for an ambulance, it might make them think twice.

  146. 146

    One swallow does not a Schwimmer make.

    The Party Favor
    Picking Up the Pieces
    Nothing but the Truth

  147. 147
    Henry Minge says:

    Whaddya mean, I’m proud to be Stout…

  148. 148
    Tim W. says:

    Thank God the fucking press won’t catch me doing this.

  149. 149
    Hillary Minge says:

    In what way Prime Minister…

    Smiles primly

  150. 150
    Henry Crun says:

    Mmmmm, Michelle wasn’t kidding when she said: If you go black, you’ll never go back.

  151. 151
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I’ve said this.

    I have a f*riend who is an a*mbulance p*aramedic. He t*ells me that most of his Friday and Saturday evenings are spent picking up people who are a*bsolutely l*egless from n*ight c*lubs and taking them to h*ospital.

    If they were ch*arged, say, £*70 for an a*mbulance, it might make them think twice.

    Sorry for asterisks. The first post got m*odded.

  152. 152
    bergen says:

    Good one.

  153. 153
    XLibris says:

    Perhaps it’ll help me forget the Granny Tax “

  154. 154
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Dear Modder

    What is wrong with my post? There is nothing in it which isn’t a fact.

  155. 155
    No pay-wall here says:

    Dave goes for Hague’s drinking record….9 pints before PMQs

  156. 156
    David Camoron says:

    Yes, but one day your granny will switch on her TV and watch Indian astronauts heading for the Moon, and she can say, “I am so proud helped pay for that!”

    (If she hasn’t had to sell her TV in order to afford some food, of course.)

    Toodle pip!

  157. 157
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    They know people d**rink.

    It’s just another good way of getting more money out of all of us.

  158. 158
    A fart with no nose !! says:

    Looking into the glass, I see only us born to rule being able to afford to binge drink in the future.

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    Tories are scum.

  160. 160
    Joss Sayin says:


  161. 161
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    “Very lucky member of the public manages to glass useless one-term PM in face.”

  162. 162
    free speech says:

    modbot = tosser

  163. 163
    Anonymous says:

    Bottom’s up William!

  164. 164
    Woof Woof ! says:

  165. 165
    Spotted Dick says:

    Ministers rush to pre-load prior to minimum alcohol pricing doubling cost of HoC pints

  166. 166
    David Camoron says:

    And India’s space programme. And their French jetfighters.

  167. 167
    Glass Nearly Empty says:

    Bottom’s up William

  168. 168
    Icarus says:

    Guinness Surger – for best results Pour slowly and place on Sam’s vibrator.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    “It’ not do as I do It’s do as I say”

  170. 170
    Owen gets owned says:

    For those who missed it, here’s Brillo destroying toytown Trot Owen Jones.

  171. 171
    David Camoron says:

    I believe the expression you’re looking for is “Tories are filthy scum.”

    As if I care. Now shut up you little oik, I’m off to mug your granny and give her money to my filthy-rich pals.

    Toodle pip!

  172. 172
    yeah, right.... says:

    Crikey Eric, hit the sauce early today, haven’t we?

  173. 173
    WVM says:

    Hahahahaha the stupid little prick!

  174. 174
    nellnewman says:

    +++Best caption +++

  175. 175
    Spot the Cunt says:

    Here he goes again.

    C unt.

  176. 176
    Grannie says:

    # Grannie, grannie…hic!.. you’re lovely
    That’s what I think of you
    Grannie, grannie you’re lovely
    And I’ve got a wee apology for you #

    I’ve been standing here all day, drinking
    Been feeling sorry for myself, and thinking
    Now my PM days are gone, memories linger on
    Thoughts of how I threw it all away…

    I never should have taxed you, gran, you’re lovely
    That’s what I think of you
    Grannie, grannie you’re lovely
    Forgive me, ol’ darlin’, please do! Hic! #

  177. 177
    nellnewman says:

    So that’s owen! Bless he’s not out of short trousers yet!!

  178. 178
    Brillo mocks Bercow says:

  179. 179
    Lord Michael Caine says:

    Speaking of India recipient of our aid ‘not a lot of people know this’ but India has just loaned $10 billion to the IMF.

  180. 180
    john west says:

    I don’t give a flying f’uck what ed said…this the best head I’ve had since peter mandelson got his nuts stuck in the mangle

  181. 181
    David Camoron says:

    Tax is something one avoids. A bit like pensioners, at the moment. Horrible people, with wrinkly faces. And quite a lot of anger. Awful angry wrinkly people. How yucky!

  182. 182
    Jimmy says:

    There’s something wrong with this Pimms

  183. 183
    Boyo says:

    Pitbull shot.
    They are not trained to shoot dogs only innocence people.

  184. 184
    Ah! Monika says:

    ” If this is what powers Guido…….

  185. 185
    sres says:

    if i drink enough of this they might call me the iron man

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Relieved to note they are going to the moon & not adding to the effnic count over here.

  187. 187
    David Camoron says:

    “They’re only a bunch of old grannies,
    with faces all wrinkly and worn,
    a hairy moustache
    and cackly laugh,
    and brains so incredibly small!”

  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    You mean Indian astronauts using our overseas aid?

  189. 189
    steviebounce says:

    Prime Minister “Pre-Loading” before PMQS

  190. 190
    Anonymous says:


    This is how you swallow

  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    As my mate Gideon said to his coke snorting whore, ” I love a bit o’ the black stuff.”

  192. 192
    Some Geezer wot's gonna remind you says:

    “Fleeing from Ken” thread, #68, 12:07 pm: Hugh Laurie from Blackadder 3.

  193. 193
    Marcel Dassault says:

    Merci Beaucul

  194. 194
    Glugglug says:

    How about “Guinness is good for you.
    So we are pricing it out of your reach”

  195. 195
    CT says:

    Minimum drink prices are for little people…

  196. 196


  197. 197
    Boudicca says:

    Cocky little shit who’s not as clever as he thinks he is.
    Well done Brillo for exposing his lies, damned lies and statistics.

  198. 198
    Neutral Zone says:

    Mmmm. Tastes like shit.
    And I’ve eaten enough of Clegg’s to know.

  199. 199
    jgm2 says:

    If that were me I’d have gone beetroot getting caught out like that. But the shameless little prick just charged on with even more random bollocks.

    He’s competing with Laura Penny for the soon-to-be-vacant Polly Tuscany position.

    Facts? Facts? We don’t need any of those in Bedwetterland.

  200. 200
    Blackadder's codpiece says:

    “No good things come those who fake”.

  201. 201
    HF says:

    Dave says “It is only OK to drink subsidised booze if its subsidised by taxpayers”.

  202. 202
    David Camoron says:

    Hole in one, old chap. Precisely.

    But it doesn’t all go to India, good Lord no – I’m giving hundreds of millions to Pa ki stan so they can build more nuclear bombs.

    As I’m sure you know with your stocks and shares, it’s good to diversify.

  203. 203
    Unaligned voter says:

    Here’s to a proper “TORY” budget. (And I expect to be re-elected). Tosser.

  204. 204
    DelBoy says:

    I hope to be in the same bracket (cell) as Bertie Ahearne soon.

  205. 205
    jgm2 says:

    Hahaha. Listen to the thick c*unt at the end.

    ‘That’s cruelty…’

    Not nearly enough fucking dogs shot if you ask me.

  206. 206
    Cameron's granny says:

    Rude boy, go to your room!

  207. 207
    jgm2 says:

    Bercow gets his revenge by serving Cameron a pint of slurry.

  208. 208
    DelBoy says:

    Tossers, all of you common people whom we live off…and you can’t do anything about it.

  209. 209
    Blackadder's codpiece says:

    “If he didn’t exist, you’d have to invent him. Cameron: Pure Tedious”.

  210. 210
    Idle says:


  211. 211
    DelBoy says:


  212. 212
    DelBoy says:

    Who thinks the Chancellor will be booted out at the next reshuffle? Odds?

  213. 213
    Idle says:


  214. 214
    Toucan says:


    My goodness, the price of my Guinness!

  215. 215
    Toucan says:

    My goodness, the price of my Guinness!


  216. 216
    A man in a chair says:

    The poor kid’s a ginge, too.

    Thick as shit AND ginge. Life can be so cruel.

  217. 217
    Anonymous says:

    David Camoron, or they could give it to talaban.

  218. 218
    simon r says:


  219. 219
    WVM says:

    I find the so called camaraderie of those officers stood on the wall out of harms way wile their colleges arm is chewed off rather disturbing. If I were that poor officer I certainly wouldn’t want to work with them ever again.

  220. 220
    smoggie says:

    Embarressing but the other two are creaming themselves.

  221. 221
    thick as pigshit says:

    Mmm. Tastes a bit like Obama’s cum I spent all last week drinking.

  222. 222
    Billy says:

    Brillo dry fucked him in the arse and didn’t even give him a reach around, poor boy.

  223. 223
    Anonymous says:

    Pak istan can build a bo-mb or give it to Ta-laban to test our boy’s personal carriers.

  224. 224
    Well well well says:

    “Yup, this is definitely raw sewage,” David thought as he drained his third pint.

  225. 225
    lord mendelsohn of tel aviv says:

    No chance – got too much on Dave

  226. 226
    smoggie says:

    The SAS know how to deal wiv ‘em. Let it grab your left forearm, lift it up then slide a knife up its exposed belly. That’s the way to deal with a “status dog”.

  227. 227
    jgm2 says:

    It’s depressing that Portillo would agree to be on the same show with that wicked and malicious c*unt Campbell. Never mind sharing a fucking sofa.

  228. 228
    Cameron says:

    “I’m the kaleidescope prime minister having a kaleidescope beer from a kaleidescope pub in a kaleidescope city.”

  229. 229
    we're not all in this together says:

    700,000 people turning 65 next year losing £323 annually while MP c u n t s like Cameron get taxpayer subsidised booze and food.

  230. 230
    pissed off voter says:

    source of government leaks revealed

  231. 231
    Caught lying says:

    He just couldn’t bring himself to admit he was wrong. There’s no shame in having the guts to admit when you’re wrong. It’s actually a strength of character. But typical of lefties, he knew he’d been caught out and kept dodging the issue. But at least he got driven to TV Centre in a nice chauffeur driven car and had champagne in the green room. I wonder how he squares that with his socialist principles.

  232. 232
    pissed off voter says:

    Cameron celebrates his budget gains

  233. 233
    Lord Iveagh says:

    You recall the Obama table tennis table present was ” Made in China ” ?

    Well what you’re necking now is “Made in Ireland”!!

    British jobs for British Workers ??

  234. 234
    Nick West says:

    “Good things come with a clear mandate.”

  235. 235
    Taxfodder says:

    So I said Granny, look you see, drinking DERV is a much cheaper option than Guiness

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    You are evil you pension stealing Tory turd.

  237. 237
    John Milch - Cow says:

    Is that a kaleidoscopic pint of “raw ” you’re drinking Prime Minister?

  238. 238
    pissed off voter says:

    Daves impersonation of Guido

  239. 239

    You’re so interesting! I do not think I have read through a single thing like that before. So wonderful to find someone with unique thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    Apart from the Prime Minister, no other Cabinet minister admitted to earning enough to be caught by the top rate, which applies to annual incomes over £150,000 a year.
    This is despite several of Mr Cameron’s colleagues likely to receive unspecified levels of income from blind trusts, private firms and other property assets.

  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    Tories are traitors. Tories are scum. They plan to steal the Serps pension.

  242. 242
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘At least it isn’t the piss that Osborn drinks’.

  243. 243
    pissed off voter says:

    Dave sips another subsidy

  244. 244
    purpleline says:

    That’s one Head downed now two more Ed’s to follow

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a coward. Cameron is a turd.

  246. 246
    JJ says:


  247. 247
    dickythedentist says:

    Cherie Blair will give you advice how to get one.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Nudging is good for you….

  249. 249

    Dave places a glass over his nose: “I’m Ed Milliband and I’m wewy angwy. A deconth clath dicket to Dottingham”

  250. 250
    Nom de plume says:

    Pissed and broke.

  251. 251
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    Cameron is a fraud.

    You do not drink Guinness like that.

  252. 252
    Anonymous says:


  253. 253
    Swiss Bob says:

    Guinness is good for me, but not for you!

  254. 254
    David Camoron says:

    “By Jove! Mugging Britain’s pensioners is jolly thirsty work! Time for another six pints and then I’ll go after people who can only afford cheap drinks, what what.”

  255. 255
    Robert Peel's Tophat says:

    Yes, there was not too much teamwork in evidence there.

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Filthy pension stealing Tories are scum.
    Cameron is finished. Boy George is a turd.
    Do not trade with Tories. If a business is owned by a local Tory traitor boycot the scum.

  257. 257
    Camerhuhne says:

    Empty vessel empties vessel.

  258. 258
    Robert Peel's Tophat says:

    The local plods tend not to have knives handy as a general rule.

  259. 259
    Stick Your Pinkie In The Air says:

    As long as he gets his round in, he can drink it any way he likes.

  260. 260
    Taxfodder says:

    Phwarrr! this is better than the cats piss they sell in TESCO’s

  261. 261
    David Camoron says:

    Empty? EMPTY?! I’m full of shit, I’ll have you know.

    Toodle pip.

  262. 262
    dickythedentist says:

    Bottoms up cheers.

  263. 263
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Hooray Heavy.

  264. 264
    David Camoron says:

    Well, I usually get my butler to hold the glass to my mouth for me, but on that particular occasion he was in the infirmary after I set the hounds on him for coughing.

  265. 265
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Cameron tries to keep up with Eric Joyce, next round a 17 year old.

  266. 266
    dicky says:

    Bottoms up cheers.

  267. 267
    Maverick Ways says:

    It’s my forfeit: I bet George he couldn’t surprise the Quad in his budget.

  268. 268
    ASDA is actually slightly worse than Tesco says:

    Some Tesco stores sell Suffolk Springer, which is actually very nice. Old Empire is also available on offer at the moment, and that’s nice too.

    There you are: two reasons (the only two) why Tesco isn’t 100% crap.

  269. 269
    ToonBob.... says:

    Smooth, black with a white head, just about ticks all the right boxes :)

  270. 270
    A pragmatist says:

    Who said I don’t do irony?

  271. 271
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    ..and it came to pass that Cameron morphed into Balls as he downed the velvet nectar!

  272. 272
    Bob Dixon says:

    5 more of these and I will piss all over Millipede at PMQ’s

  273. 273
    A pragmatist says:

    Yeah they should take it off the kids. They don’t need it. They can get all the cash they want from scrumping from the magical money tree that Ed Miliband has in his garden.

  274. 274
    David Camoron says:

    Well, there’s not much left to steal after Labour plundered the country. Still, I got most of you with VAT, I’ve mugged old ladies, I’m after impoverished dr!nkers, I suppose I can go for Serps next month. What else can I nab? How about the shirt on your back?

    Make sure it’s thoroughly washed in jolly-good detergent. My butler will be round for it on Monday.

  275. 275
    Phillis Stein says:

    No knife handy, best bet would be to try and gouge the eyes?

  276. 276
    Cameron's Granny says:

    Gran: Will you still need me
    Will you still feed me
    When I’m 64?

    Cameron: No!

  277. 277
    John H says:

    Some of my best friends like a pint of the black stuff.

  278. 278

    I’m going to get hammered, wear a ginger wig, proclaim my Scottishness and fall asleep on park bench

  279. 279
    Your HMRC Needs You says:

    Here’s to the Iveagh’s, a fine, traditional family of tax dodgers, cheers proles.

  280. 280
    Camerooonian Highlander says:

    That’s spiffingly bad form old chap, my vessel is full I’ll have you know and full of the very best that education has to offer and at a price you certainly can’t afford.

    As an old boy of the finest binge drinking club in the world and having had vast experience of boozing and smashing up bars, I know what I am talking about when saying that demonic, evil, dastardly booze needs taxing to the hilt.

    It will save souls.

  281. 281
    ChrisB says:

    Well worth £1.50 – Dare I tell Guido I’m in the Stranger’s Bar and minimum pricing doesn’t apply on Crown Property.

  282. 282
    john west says:

    just think we could be watching gordon still…..urrrrgh

  283. 283
    Oldrightie says:

    One swallow doesn’t make a PM spring into popularity.

  284. 284
    jgm2 says:

    Nope – offer the left arm then fall on it with extreme prejudice with both knees. Smash the fuckers ribs to pieces, puncture a lung or two. Then go looking for a house brick to finish the c*unt.

  285. 285
    Widescreen2010 says:

    Get these down your neck and we’ll go down the Plough.
    That git is putting the price of beer up tomorrow.

    (For the uninitiated, The Plough is the pub next to Call-Me-Dave’s constituency office)

  286. 286
    Splodge says:

    Fuck off you proles! All your pints are belong to me!

  287. 287
    RJES says:

    Publican: “What did you do with the Guinness glass I put under that leak in the urinal?”

  288. 288
    Procrastination says:

    Tastes too good for the peasants!

  289. 289
    Only in the Graun says:

    Your round I think Theresa!

  290. 290
    knobnuts says:

    customer…. no problem I swopped it for the one in your hand earlier

  291. 291
    Hugh Mcready says:

    Muppett enjoys Goldman Sachs hospitality.

  292. 292
    Jay Scarl says:

    ‘To beer or not to beer. That is the question.’

  293. 293
    Tim says:

    Cameron sucks down a black one until the creamy head hit his lips and he struggled to swallow.

  294. 294
    axman says:

    If he can say as Clegg can
    Coalition is good for you
    How grand to be a Cameron
    Just think what a Cameron could do

  295. 295
    DG says:

    Pirates of the Caribbean V – On Even Darker Tides
    Captain Jack Sparrow, once a young, energetic libertarian has somehow become Prime Minister of Britain, despite a colourful past and frequent run-ins with the law. Bloated and still fond of a tipple he faces a backlash when he attempts to raise the basic price of rum to distract the common people from his support of the wealthy merchant class. Starring Danny DiVito as the opinionated and colourful Cabin Boy/Speaker of the ship, Rowan Atkinson as the hapless adversary and Edie Falco as the obsessive Home Secretary charged with eliminating the dark and stormy scourge of preloaded rum cocktails.

  296. 296
    Alan says:

    Bottom’s up!

    Now let’s see the peasants try and climb it!

  297. 297
    The Doddering Old Fart says:

    Another pint of this and I’ll be able to piss on even more f-ing pensioners.

  298. 298
    Barry says:

    Well, that’s the preloading taken care of, now for PMQs.

  299. 299
    Tony Eden from Eton says:

    What a sad waste of a superb pint!

  300. 300
    A Skiver says:

    Okay Dave. All you’re missing now is your cloth cap and sandwiches. Then you can foxtrot oscar over to the Liebore party where you belong.

  301. 301
    Anon. says:

    Not as much anger as you, apparently. Nor as big a chip on their shoulders.

  302. 302
    Willer says:

    Coalitions come to those who can’t wait

  303. 303
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The vulture of Downing street Drinks the final bit of life out of the once prosperous pub trade (Subsidised of course)

  304. 304
    Max says:

    It really is a kaleidoscope beverage!

  305. 305
    filipinomonkey says:

    CCTV footage reveals who nicked Guido’s pint…

  306. 306
    David I'm-only-doing-this-for-a-bet Cameron says:

    Don’t try this at home. I only drink this stuff so you don’t have to.

  307. 307
    Anonymous says:

    and this is how we saved the irish economy

  308. 308
    robbie says:

    “…and yes, the advertising money won’t be paid until fiscal year 2013-14, Mr. Cameron.”

  309. 309
    Maxwell says:

    Must be careful I don’t swallow my change.

  310. 310
    Maxwell says:

    I am partial to the occasional subsidy in the evenings.

  311. 311
    Maxwell also says:

    To beat Ken Livingston you must think like Ken Livingston.

  312. 312
    Maxwell finally says:

    Vince Cable being ever the joker got one over Cameron with the old superglue-round-the-glass-rim prank..

  313. 313
    Universal Hiss says:

    Guinness shares plummet after disastrous new ad campaign.

    (& Guido, flowers arrived today.Mother was delighted & sends her thanks,as do I.)

  314. 314
    Qui Bono says:

    Black velvet and a buller boy’s smile
    Black velvet ‘cos I’m the only one with guile
    A new religion that’ll bring tax you to your knees
    Guido, Harry and the rest of you fucking proles….
    Stop drinking if you please

  315. 315
    'cutio says:

    ‘You are evil you steaming Socialist turd.’

  316. 316
    'cutio says:

    Guido ffs

  317. 317
    'cutio says:

    S.S.T. see above@236

  318. 318
    IanK says:

    Carlsberg don’t make politicians. More’s the pity…

  319. 319
    Anonymous says:

    Boris! Gideon! That’s enough pre-loading. Let’s get off to the Bullingdon.

  320. 320
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Mr. Cameron downs his pint before Osborne doubles the price.

  321. 321
    Anonymous says:

    What’s Cameron drinking non English beer for, hasn’t the brewry in LOndon closed down

  322. 322
    olddicky says:

    Dave supports Boris’s plan to capture Irish vote in London Mayoral election.

  323. 323
    olddicky says:

    BejesusI think i’ll have another ten.

  324. 324
    Anonymong says:

    “Don’t feel too bad about increasing the cost of pre-loading George, we can actually afford to get drunk in pubs!”

  325. 325
    Gooey Blob says:

    I hate to have to break this to you, but the Tory party IS the party of business.

    Your socialist friends represent the somewhat out-of-touch unions, and little else. They used to represent so much more than that. In a nutshell, that is why Labour will be out of power for another 8 years.

  326. 326
  327. 327
    Penfold says:

    George said that i had to drink up me medicine………

    Here goes………….glug glug glug gone.

  328. 328
    Dave Cameron, Man of Iron and Equestrian says:

    Poor people should not try this at home.

    Tally ho

  329. 329
    alan says:

    ” Keep Froth “…… nil carborundum illegitimus.!!

  330. 330
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Black Ham is better!

  331. 331
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    I didn’t know Ohama Beach was a Mick!

  332. 332
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    The boy with the black stuff.

  333. 333
    Mr Magooo says:

    What about the efnic count on de moon?

  334. 334
    Ted Maul says:

    Howabout the purely descriptive: “Hunt drinks guiness?”

  335. 335
    Ted Maul says:

    Its seems huhne is now a synonym for qunt. Fair dos

  336. 336
    selfimportant says:

    we need to win the north ok, so who’s up for a curry and a fight?

  337. 337
    Marion the cat says:

    I didn’t thinkh our Asian problems were necessarily from India, more from countries ending in -stan.

  338. 338
    Marion the cat says:

    He really is the son of Blair.

  339. 339
    Marion the cat says:

    Nice summary – needed to be said.
    Just wish Labour had a real leader (not Ed), or that UKIP were just a little more than a one-trick-pony

  340. 340
    Marion the cat says:

    Oh Dave, Dave, Dave – you really are the true successor to Blair. Remember Blair and aspirin and Blair and cheese.
    Dave just because you advisors were socialist/stupid enough to advise to steal from pensioners their diminishing allowance, just because you gave the rich 5% off their tax at some stage in the future. You’ve pleased none of the people none of the time.
    I suspect your real attitude to the EU means you have the nod of a good job later (A La Kinnochio).
    And your response to being caught out and shown to be the charlatan that you are – lets hit people that enjoy a drink (bet you believed or were told that it would be popular and put things right).
    It will make not make a jot of a difference Dave, if you were closer to the population you would know that, btw please tell me were I can get decent strength lager at 20p YOU MORON, you just get rabbit’s piss at 0.00005% alcohol.
    I have voted Tory all my life even through the Heath years – but you are something else, something worse.
    UKIP here I come and with loads of others as well.
    Dave, you have done nothing to sort out the real problems – which is why we voted for you. Even Brown would have been preferable – at least he believed in what he was doing.
    Down your pint – drown the sorrows I hope you feel in the quiet moments.

  341. 341
    Wilky says:

    Through the bottom of this glass, I can see what John saw in Edwina.

  342. 342
    Bloke says:

    Fucking little twat.

  343. 343
    Bloke says:

    “Before George’s Budget the glass was half full. Now it’s definitely empty!”

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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