March 21st, 2012

Budget Bingo

Click the above to download the PDF with hyperlinks. Rules are simple: choose one phrase, policy or scenario from each row, so eight overall. Listen out during the Chancellor’s statement, first to six wins. Don’t forget to shout “Budget Bingo”!


  1. 1
    Check your local Hospital says:

    Cut tax an spending then watch lefties engage in class warfare.

    Perfect day!


    • 9
      Joss Taskin says:

      Where’s the box with the narrative ‘Red Ken to start paying Income Tax’ ??


    • 13
      Word says:

      Spending’s in Feb was at £15bn It’s a lefty wet dream.


    • 16
      Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

      Great to hear the THEM and US, The RICH v The Poor. Governments can be such a bore, trotting out the same old Sh-t.
      Divide and conquer tactics wont work this time as We all Rich and Poor are paying too much TAX. The TAX take is too big and you fuc-ing stupid C-nts are spending it on NON commercial activity, simple. Reduce the TAX on everyone and Stop stealing it out of the economy. THE more HM Revenue take the Less we have in the economy, Simple again. Why dont we here that from the economists Wanke-s at the LSE.


      • 23
        Gordon Brown says:

        Tax cuts take money out of the economy.


        • 35
          Anonymous says:

          It does when it is send to tax heavens.


        • 65
          Ed Balls MP says:

          The trouble with tax cuts is that, aside from the State having less money to piss away, an evil in itself, people might use the extra dosh to actually pay their debts instead of spending it on goods and services. It is an article of faith for me that people should never pay their debts, as this slows down the economy when too few quid are chasing too many goods and services. So you are spot-on, Gordon! (Of course, if we were in Government, we would address that by increasing spending ourselves, priming the pump, as it were. And you know me, Gordon, I’ve been priming my pump ever since I was a mere strip of a lad!)


    • 31
      Anonymous says:

      Osborne talks about neutral budget how will it be neutral if he has to borrow £130m to spend?

      We need a balance budget, maximum you spend is what you earn or in government’s case what others earn and you take out of them.

      If you want to spend more increase taxes if you want to tax less cut spending.


      • 82

        The only people tax increases hurts are the middle and low paid.

        Explanation: CEO’s of large companies tend to get paid in stock options as part of their bonus package – these are taxed differently, and lower, so you won’t get it here.

        Owner drivers of private companies employing a few people are going to see the biggest chunk from their bank account, so they will downsize until the market is more favourable, and that probably means redundancies, or at least less working hours/ pay for the lower paid workers, less NI less tax, (The increased tax rate is the equivalent of saying you work for someone else, even though it is your company and your risk) or they’ll retire early, shut the millstone down and turf everyone out to look for non existent work elsewhere, while playing golf somewhere warm.

        The net cost of raising the tax rate is like pissing yourself in a dark suit – you’ll feel all warm and relaxed for a while, no one else notices a thing for a bit, but your great idea will get cold, uncomfortable and smell of piss very quickly.

        Still, Labour do love smelling of piss, don’t they, with little Ed as the biggest toss pot.

        Solidarity Bro’s, innit.


  2. 2
    David Camoron says:

    Gosh, I’ve been struggling with a tough Budget problem. Do you think we should pay for India to put a man on the Moon? Or two men?


    • 11
      smoggie says:

      If we could put 500 million of them on the moon then I’m all for it.


      • 19
        David Camoron says:

        Oh cripes. That causes a teensy conundrum; I was planning to bulldoze England and bury it under housing development and rail links, so those 500 million could all live here, but you’ve just suggested a far more ambitious plan.

        What if we send 250 million to the Moon, and build enough homes for 250 million here? After all, the population of 250 million here will double in size in about 20 years, then we can build homes for 250 million more.


      • 20
        the beast of nairobi says:

        If we dd that just whereould we get a few pints of milk at 23:00 ?


      • 24
        Uncle Twiggle says:

        Britain wants to put the first woman on the moon – but for some reason Harriet Harman refuses to go………


        • 30
          M says:

          I’ve a circus cannon on stand by if she changes mind


        • 71
          NASA Spokesharman says:

          Sorry to inform you but on seeing that train wreck of an interview that Harman gave last week, it is clear that she is well beyond the moon and is orbiting about somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto.


    • 47
      Gay Fascist says:

      Two men, but only if they are married to each other.


  3. 3
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Does class 4 contribution threshold go up and the rate come down? Not holding my breath…


  4. 4
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Typical BBC, they’ve now wheeled out some Muslim apologist who is blaming the Jews for this fucking mong who slaughtered those kids.

    Funny that WHEN the BBC thought it was done by a nasty right winger, the BBC were happy to give us every detail of how the children died.

    Now however, the BBC are telling us that not all Muslims are like this and that the dirty Jews are to blame in Israel.

    It doesn’t take them long at the BBC does it?


    • 41
      Mornington Crescent says:


      Just as amusing is hearing Beeboid news presenters referring to ‘the Rich’ in the third person and ‘the poor’ in the first person. Evan Davis was at it this morning.

      As fucking if. All of those vain, vacuous twats are on 6-figure salaries plus expenses – at our expense, to boot.


      • 53
        Not at my expense. says:

        This is why I don’t pay the license fee.

        That and everything on BBC TV is politically-correct crap.


        • 63
          Mornington Crescent says:

          Gave it up myself a couple of years ago.

          If there was a radio equivalent to Sky News (or some such) I’d retune today – and, indeed, Today.


          • Mine d'Boggles says:

            What is this “licence fee” you lot drone on about? It isn’t compulsory to have a TV (last time I looked – 1984 and all that). Just bin the TV. Most contributors here regard the content as unadulterated crap, so why gawp at it? Free yourself. Don’t pay the licence fee – legally.


          • BBC Watcher says:

            Be prepared to get a new BBC note in the post. Even when you reply to them as I did in February by phone, they sent me another one this week stating I had not replied. Await the Final Warning letter so I can respond in kind.


          • Mornington Crescent says:

            I have binned the TV, FFS, hence my reference to the radio. I even politely greeted the inspectors and let them in to check – they were pretty stunned, actually.


      • 74
        Darth Varder says:

        I believe that the BBC bias and harangueing on the French killings is serious enough for a proper complaint to the regulatory body, especially as their interview with a French minister constitutes making an ally with a serious tragedy angry. I will put the evidence together and send one.
        On the matter of the budget I will go with the item “Dave’s Death Stare at Bercow” (and his loony wife) but it must have real impact, and I am available to give training on this.


    • 42
      An alien passing by earth to somewhere important says:

      Humanity from this point of view is so fucked up


  5. 5
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    Can we just distract everyone from the messiness of our mess-cleaning efforts by starting up Falklands War II ?

    And hopefully they’ll change planning laws such that you can put up a dormer window that looks right into your neighbour’s bedroom window, without having to apply for planning permission. As it stands now, I can only put in a Velux skylight type thing…and then I have to stand on a stool and can barely see anything.


    • 26
      the beast of nairobi says:

      get a periscope and thermal imaging eqpt


    • 33
      smoggie says:

      If it wasn’t for the fact that the German war effort was so dissipated by the Wermacht having to haul trainloads of mewling je­ws around the country they’d have defeated the Allies. The chosen ones have much to answer for.


  6. 6
    AC1 says:


    From the comments on Sky’s article (French police surround Islamist child murderer) it looks like rather a few others have noticed the the “games” the MSM play.


  7. 7
    daveyone1 says:

    This takes just 90 seconds but could make all the difference!


  8. 8
    • 10
      Joss Taskin says:

      March 7th ? Did I blink and miss something ?


      • 17
        daveyone1 says:

        Maybe so sign the petiton to your MP now it could make all the difference!?!


        • 29
          David Camoron says:

          I love petitions! My butler stacks them all up in the bathroom, so we never have to buy toilet paper.


          • daveyone1 says:

            see the one above the video then answer this simple question Mr. Cameron; How much is a litre of petrol?


          • smoggie says:

            About 1000 cc.


          • David Camoron says:

            Look, there’s nothing I can do about the pr*ice of petrol, it’s entirely out of my hands.

            If the general public are having trouble fueling-up their Bentleys, why not cut back? Instead of 3 holidays in Chamonix this year, why not just take two? Or you could have an energy company put a wind turbine on some corner of your mansion’s grounds, then you can claim a government subsidy. My father-in-law does that, and makes more than a grand a day!

            There you go! Toodle pip.


        • 54
          daveyone1 says:

          So what is that exactly you do have in your hand, Mr,Cameron , oh sorry it must be a German sausage!


          • daveyone1 says:

            I do have a wind turbine in my grounds but it is not tax deductable coz it trims the hedges too. I will have to use those ducks to polish the Bently too when they leave their little house in the pond!


      • 76
        BBC Watcher says:

        We all missed it.


    • 38
      annette curton says:

      What if you can’t afford to get down to London.


  9. 14
    Marcel Dassault says:

    There should of course be enormous taxes on Tycoons.
    Oh sorry, I thought you said Typhoon.


  10. 18
    Marcel Dassault says:

    Right oh. so we aren’t allowed to talk about the tax on very rich people. Tyk-hoons.


  11. 22
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Does Dave realise his policies are going to condemn us to another 20 or 30 years of Labour ?
    If they didn’t want to win the election why did they form a coalition ?


    • 40
      will says:

      it could have been worse a lab-lib coalition, a complete nightmare, with the lib dems next to gordon as the economy goes down the toilet. we would have lost our AAA rating and the IMF would be having tea at no 10. Also obama would not bother saying hello to gordon.


    • 44
      Winston Churchill says:

      It was the worst alternative, except for all the others.


  12. 28
    annette curton says:

    Doesn’t Vince still call it playing Housey-housey?.


  13. 36
    Loungelizard says:

    Looks like the Budget might be aimed straight at the overpaid PollyTwaddle.


    • 43
      will says:

      I think we should have a polly budget, any person who ownes an overseas villa to be taxed at 100% of its value. Takes from the rich to give to the poor polly should approve. But i bet its all in a trust fund well away from IHT.


  14. 39
    daveyone1 says:

    I wish Guido had a ‘like’ button I just can’t be asked to answer all these points


  15. 50
  16. 51
    Bob Shawadiwadi says:

    No IR35 Mk II, that’s another budget rumour


  17. 55
    dai says:

    france 24 news has one of d fatbots sisters commenting on the killings in toulouse by some fucking raghead, claiming its all the fault on the ban on the Veil , she was sounding if she admired him, its fucking unbelievable, she has spoken to him as well, plus she is a brit, god sake where is the IDF when you need them


  18. 56
    dr. sipp says:

    tits up tax down budget


  19. 60
    sandy says:

    My prediction:

    Ed Balls does flat lining gesture as Ed Miliband has heart attack.


  20. 66
    Stinkfinger says:

    To make up for the shortage of pensioners in this country,tax on fags and booze will increase to encourage people to give up these vices and live longer.


    • 69
      Stinkfinger says:

      …then again,looking at it logicaly pensioners will need to be healthy so as to be able to fend off the bag snatchers who were shipped in to fill the demographic trough.


  21. 67
    Taxfodder says:

    Budgets come and go same old story……

    Roundly fleece those that have worked hard to provide for themselves, family and old age,

    Give the lions share to the feckless and proliferate while squandering the family inheritance on hair brain headline making schemes that in the long run always cost far more than they save.

    Continue to waste another 5 billion on the Afghan incursion whilst lining up the IMF for another massive multi billion bung to aid the failed Euro experiment.

    UK open for business?

    Wide Open to wasters thieves and down and outs more like!


    • 80
      AC1 says:

      We can see from France that Islam is a metastatic terrorism problem from the Afghan-P4kistan region. How do you suggest dealing with Islamic colonists?


  22. 68
    jgm2 says:

    I’m going 2,5,9,11, 13,18,19,22


  23. 70
    Fish says:

    Mini Guido away from school, sick eh? What time do Hull City kick off?


  24. 78
    Chris says:

    Can we have a bingo shout for Ed Balls saying “look” at the start of every sentence


  25. 84
    Martha ( of the Vandellas ) says:

    RE number 24 ” Cameron Death Stare to Bercow ”

    That one should be given a bye because Bercow was not on the Speakers Chair for Budget Speech .

    He chickened out and nominated his Deputy .

    No doubt took a stroll instead on this fine Spring day to marvel at the kaleidoscope country on a kaleidoscope day and then went to the Funfair to try his hand on the kaleidoscope stall — no doubt returning to his quarters to see his wife in her usual attire of kaleidoscope romper suit.


Seen Elsewhere

Labour Votes Going Green | Guardian
UKIP Winning Class War | Tim Stanley
UKIP is a Good Thing | Peter Bone
Coalition of Losers | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Could Cost Labour 10 MPs | Sun
I Considered Defecting | Mark Pritchard
Thornberry a Snob | Sun
Thornberry Has Turned Fire on Labour | Guardian
Thornberry’s Contempt for Working Class | Telegraph
Thornberry Shows Why Labour are Losing to UKIP | Alex Wickham
Thornberry Accused of Outrageous Snobbery | Mail

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Dominic Cummings blasts Sir Jeremy:

“Heywood is more important than anyone in the cabinet, apart from Cameron and Osborne, and arguably more important than Osborne. He sits right next to the prime minister. He has him completely by the balls and Cameron does not do anything without Heywood’s permission.”

Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.

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