March 20th, 2012

Breaking: Boris De-Tweets

Boris HQ have just put out a statement

‘In 2008 Boris Johnson promised the most transparent administration in Britain after years of cronyism and maladministration in City Hall. It is why he released a brutally honest Progress Report on his manifesto commitments detailing where has had not made progress as well as where he has. As he entered the campaign he was determined to ensure there was no confusion between him as Mayor and him as a candidate and therefore changed the name of his Twitter account.

He did not expect this openness and honesty to have created such hysteria.

So in case there is even one Londoner who has a problem with what he did, he will not use that account for the campaign and instead can be followed from the political front on @BackBoris2012.’

Twitter spat over. Now Ken about that tax return…


  1. 1
    Zing says:


  2. 2
    Jack Of No Trades says:

    Ken is useless

  3. 3
    Doktorb says:

    The Labour robots are presumably furious that it’s blown over so quickly, they need all the trivial nonsense they can get.

    8 points behind aren’t they? Oh dear.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    In the time of openness can Boris tell us

    1) who is paying for his campaign?
    2) why his deputy trying to protect NOW?
    3) how many times he cheated on his wife?

  5. 5
    Back Boris says:

    The BBC are having multiples over this! They’re still s*ckn Ken’s kok!

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Boris at good at U turns and covering, years of practice, even with his wife.

  7. 7
    Zing says:

    1: you can check his donations
    2: you have not seen the Leveson evidence then?
    3: so what? it his private life.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    God says:

    Three posts in under ten comments, maybe you need to calm down.

  10. 10
    Kopy Ken says:

    I will copy everything Boris does.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    1) where the 2012 once are?
    2) we already know from what the officers said.
    3) if someone will even cheat on his wife and children he will cheat others. You cannot trust him.

  12. 12
    Hugh G Reckshun says:

    I don’t think Red Ken or his supporters are in a position to moralize over Boris’ private life, especially after the Commie twat has just been in a punch-up involving his up the duff bit on the side.

  13. 13
    Zing says:

    1: they will be ready to see once the camaign is finished.
    2: yes she didnt take him seriously and thought was a joke, he never asked again.
    3: so will adults in other jobs.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    One does have to wonder what this is about then…

  15. 15
    Jim says:

    So is he going to delete the political tweets?

  16. 16
    jgm2 says:

    if someone will even cheat on his wife and children he will cheat others. You cannot trust him.

    But enough about Ken. What about Boris?

  17. 17
    jgm2 says:

    Yes. It’s true. I prefer Boris to CMD. But first things first. Defeat Ken.

    The Labour meltdown began with Boris seeing off Ken and, for the sake of the UK economy, we don’t need that momentum lost. Boris seeing of Ken with an increased majority should set us up for another 7 years of the bedwetters chuntering from the cheap seats while the adults clear up their mess.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    FFS there is life outside London. Many of us don’t give a shit if it’s commie Ken or Bonkin Boris – change the f’in record!

  19. 19
    Well says:

    so why so many anti Boris posts?

  20. 20
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    The 1ranians think he’s quite entertaining.

  21. 21
    Lib/Lab/Con = utter wankers says:

    The c’unts in Westminster think running the country is a fucking game.

    Fuck off Lib/Lab/Con

  22. 22
    Distraught master & commander says:

    I can refute your evidence m’learned friend.

  23. 23
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    In May

  24. 24
    alexei romanov says:

    Perfectly clear unlike Livingstone.

  25. 25
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Ken’s supporter has just received his orders.

  26. 26
    fozzy bear says:

    You’re bored?

  27. 27
    Moscow Mike Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

    You can trust me implicitly to do exactly what is in my own interests. Boaz.

  28. 28
    Lt Col Kilgore says:

    I love the smell of desperate socialist in the morning.

  29. 29
    Lt Col Kilgore says:

    It smells like… victory.

  30. 30
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Labour’s Andy Vermin has lost the emergency healthcare debate. Andy Vermin is a two faced lying hypocrite – typical labour.

  31. 31
    Check your local Hospital says:

  32. 32
    ENGLAND says:

    Long may that fragrance permeate the air.

  33. 33
    jgm2 says:

    Labour, with a 200 majority, spent two parliaments trying to ban fox-hunting yet with only a weak(ish) coalition Cameron has been able to steer this far more controversial Bill through in the first two years.

    I thought the T*ries were sh*t in opposition but Labour are setting new lows. I mean they do oppose everything. It’s just that they do it with the same incompetence they showed when in government.

  34. 34
    jgm2 says:

    Who is paying for Ken’s campaign?
    Who is funding Ken’s thugs?
    How many kids by how many different women has Ken got?

  35. 35
    Postal Vote says:

    Indeed. Tweet non-gate features prominently on Guardian’s home page and duly picked up by beeb. So Labour are still getting return on investment after letting Guardian have all those public sector job ads when they were in power.

    And if you wonder why beeb is critical of government’s plan to lower public sector pensions it is because the beeb itself has a very generous defined benefit scheme. And Guardianistas are quiet about the beeb’s scheme and also critical about lowering public sector pensions because they all aspire to work at the beeb.

  36. 36
    Inspector Morse says:

    There are THREE “inevitables” in life.

    1. We all pay taxes
    2. We all die
    3. We all are let down by mendacious politicians’ dishonest promises whilst they feather their own nests.

    Live with these truths – none of us can change them.

  37. 37
    Tuscan Tony says:

    ‎8% of Asian men can trace their genes back to the superfecund Genghis Khan: 8 centuries hence will 8% of Europeans trace their golden lineage back to our Boris?

  38. 38
    Tuscan Tony says:

    That’s the whole wheeze put in a nutshell.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    1) so we cannot see which banker is giving him money. Even if it taxpayer cash.

    2) she told him to fuck off politely until then it didn’t stop.

    3) we are not even his loved one, some one who cheat on his wife will cheat anyone. Someone who stole from his own family will steal from anyone. These are the lowest of the low.

    Boris read this blog so why doesn’t he answer?

  40. 40
    'cutio says:

    Chez les Greques

  41. 41
    Old Medic says:

    Good to know. I spent many a happy hour or two in the nurses quarters some 40 yrs ago. Entry was ‘free’ then as well, ‘free’ being a bottle of Blue Nun.

  42. 42
    jgm2 says:

    I had a grand time there 25 years or so ago too.

  43. 43
    will says:

    anonymous instead of making comment try putting your real full name so we can see if you are are labour troll or lib dem troll.

  44. 44
    joescotus says:

    so ken shagged twenty women & sired 41 kids um that seems odd…ken shagged 10 women sired 10 kids eeeehhh still don’t seem right boris shags anything no..ken onlly shagged 3 women who produced 5 kids to ken …..londoners are getting shagged the stupid c*unts don’t ever twig…..boris challenges ken to a shaggathon ……..does any london commentator have a moral view on the shagging skills of boris & ken…..we get round to policy later.

  45. 45
    President SirLeaf says:

    Guido, I’m told you know about these things. When an Englishman abroad, in a White House bed, says “will you tuck me in?”, does he actually mean “will you fuck me up the arse, big boy?”?

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Thank goodness I’m part of the 85% or so of the population of the UK who don’t live in London and therefore couldn’t give a monkeys as to whether Boris or Ken becomes mayor. It’s all rather tedious!

  47. 47
    Dick Desmond's knob polisher says:

    Look, sonny, it’s my job to pretend that there’s a difference between tweedle-dee and tweedle dum, and keep the bedwetters and knob jockeys here diverted from the man behind the curtain, so do fuck off and take a refund.

  48. 48
    Jimmy says:

    Nice touch to divert the London government site to his campaign website. His other campaign website I mean, not this one.

  49. 49
    Fuck off says:

  50. 50
    joescotus says:


  51. 51
    smoggie says:

    The taxpayer is funding Ken’s campaign apparently.

  52. 52
    nellnewman says:

    Ken doesn’t pay his taxes and militwit’s labour says the NHS tonight has ceased to exist. Well we shall see whether that’s true in the morning shan’t we?!!

    To add to that you have bliar the spiv millionaire, the militwitbros who avoid inheritance tax, gordy&sarah who tour theworld at our expense & channel their money into their ‘charity’ and chuckourmoney who keeps all his money offshore to avoid paying any tax at all.

    Where has the Real Labour that was forged from Two World Wars to support the Real Working Class gone??!!

  53. 53
    nellnewman says:

    ‘We all pay taxes’ !!

    You are kidding!!!

    Politicians don’t pay taxes if they can avoid them.

    Look at the militwit bros avoiding inheritance tax. gordy and sarah channelling their income through their ‘charity’, spivbliar channeling his earning through so many offshore companies no-one can work out what he earns!! And chuckourmoney keeping his family millions offshore so that HMRC can’t get it!!

    The New Labour Party – ‘For ourselves and sod the working class’

  54. 54
    smoggie says:

    The real Labour Party and the real Unions have seen achieved pretty much what they set out to achieve. Not necessarily by their own actions. However, the hollow shells of those vehicles have now been occupied by a very different breed of animal with a selfish agenda. Fucking parasites the lot of them.

  55. 55
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:

    My taxes don’t go very far. Do yours ??

  56. 56
    joescotus says:

    just an odd thought your given ten minutes to live aka you gonna be fried in the electric chair family & friends barred.. who would you want to spend your last ten minutes with boris or ken comon you commie k…..well who would you choose ?

  57. 57
    smoggie says:

    Impressive innit? If only Miliband had someone thuggish like Guido on his side, and not a bunch of sneerers, then he might actually see out the year.

  58. 58
    joescotus says:

    delete the commie k(unt sorry

  59. 59
    joescotus says:

    + plenty

  60. 60
    smoggie says:

    No doubt about it – Ken.

    Then I look forward to the electric chair as a blessed relief.

  61. 61
    annette curton says:

    Mayor of Birmingham?.

  62. 62
    Jimmy says:

    Is anyone stopping them from going?

  63. 63
    Smokin' ! says:

    Giving Ken a hug for the next eleven minutes would make you a folk hero.

  64. 64
    nellnewman says:

    Parasites!! You are so Right!!!

    The Founders of that original caring Labour Party that believed so much in the defence of Working People’s Rights must be turning in their graves at this current bunch of self serving, troughing off the taxes, ‘comedians’!!

  65. 65
    nahmate says:

    It’s your fantasy gaylord, no point in asking geedoh

  66. 66
    nahmate says:

    Tony Blair may not have cheated on his wife – I don’t know either way – but he was responsible for 100,000 killings in Iraq.

    Away sex vs Mass deaths – take your pic you fucking lefty nonce

  67. 67
    albacore says:

    No contest.
    Just look at that link up there on the right.
    Ken’s going to make London a beacon.
    And there ain’t one LibLabCon politician that would argue with him.

  68. 68
    Some Geezer wot figured it out in two seconds flat says:

    Read the Twitter feed; it just looks like an honest mistake that he uses @borisjohnson right after he says he won’t; just after he “signs out” on using “@borisjohnson,” he Tweets a link to @BackBoris2012 on what looks to be a last electioneering Tweet before sign-out. Big bloody deal! Wanna bet some aide just got the sequence wrong?
    (Which reminds me– whatever happened to Tom Watson’s intern?)
    At least Boris has some concept of “avoiding the appeerance of impropriety,” a concept seemingly foreign to Ken Lizardstone.

  69. 69
    nellnewman says:

    Is it my imagination or has the leftwing ‘lookingafterourselvesfirst’ labour party gone and hid tonight when their scaremongering ploy, that the nhs will disappear tomorrow ,has finally been proved wrong?!

  70. 70
    joescotus says:

    im thick seems to obscure for me ??????

  71. 71
    Tachybaptus says:

    No doubt Boris has read this, probably in the Latin original. It is advice given to Cicero by his brother Quintus, when Cicero was running for consul in 64 BC. He used it, and wiped the floor with his opponents.

  72. 72
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Yeh, in a useful idiot kind of way.

  73. 73
    joescotus says:

    could you elaborate ?????????????????

  74. 74
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sell bukkakas and buy pootang, it’s the right thing to do.

  75. 75
    Sandy says:

    Fuck me, Julian Clarey has really let himself go!

  76. 76
    Joss Taskin says:

    Thanks Gordon – bit like your, ‘Sell Gold, buy euros’ tip ??

    No thanks, then.

    P.S. Get your Taxpayer-funded free lunch today OK ?

  77. 77
    Swiss Bob says:

    Fantastic stuff, thanks. I might post that at the Guardian to drive them all mad.

  78. 78
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Let me get some self-congratulation for us FibDems in early.

    Whatever George Osborne ‘gives’ to you tomorrow, WE and WE alone are responsible for it. Anything he takes away from you is Tory policy. Got that ?

  79. 79
    annette curton says:

    Wasn’t he (Cicero) the originator of the oratory technique; Give your opponent enough rope to hang himself by.

  80. 80
    Well it's a thought says:

    We’ve just had what’s in tomorrows budget on AlJaBeeb news, seems secrecy is in short supply, it’s not a leak it’s a river.

  81. 81
    Assem Allam says:

    Not if you own a football club and a Rolls Royce, and have a spare £100,000

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    I’m not anti either of them but I am fuck**g bored yes. Guidos next job working for Boris he’s joined the establishment.

  83. 83
    Two Eds says:

    Will it be Blinky or Ed who’ll be making the opposition budget response statement tomorrow?

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Boris one will be funded by bankers who got the government bailout!

  85. 85
    not a machine says:

    H M Queen delivered with usual aplombe , 12 prime ministers , 3500 bills , quite an achievement , and appart from from wonk goverments we havent done too compared to some countries I can think of since 1952 .
    Goodness knows what Mr speaker was up to , seem to recall he did similar when pope visited .

    Mr clegg got a bit hot during deputy PMQs but he was taking considerable sniping , Mr Lansley had ed no show and Burnham saying this is just the beginning of his campaign and that when Labour get into power they will repeal the bIll , I thought mmmm now that cant be right as some it was from your own think tank and they have not denied that “clinical commisioning” is the way forward ………… silly billy . I will add that I expect to see british companies involved to give an export trade , mckinsey and co may have models , but as always people on ground can have better ways .

    See carbon capture has surfaced again , I hope ed davy is good at maths , if hes soo keen on the dam thing .

  86. 86
    Gooey Blob says:

    I suppose he could be talking about the Miliband brothers.

  87. 87
    Tachybaptus says:

    Yes, against Verres in 70 BC. See

  88. 88
    Gooey Blob says:

    I must confess, Anonymous has a point this time. The rest of the country is bored to tears with this Boris v Ken b*ll*cks.

    Boris will win because Ken is a walking disaster area, and that’s all there is to say about it. Now let’s talk about something interesting. How about organising a boycott of Argentinian products until that crazy Kirchner woman sees sense?

  89. 89
    AC1 says:

    I’m guessing they totally filed Ken’s tax hypocrisy in the beware of the leopard section of the news?

  90. 90
    Gooey Blob says:

    * applause *

  91. 91
    Calamity Clegg says:

    It wasn’t us FibDems claiming the credit for anything good. Honest.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    How about the six bodies that arrived home today. How about Secret Courts that would deny them a F******g fair inquest, FFS the focus of this site has totally changed. It makes me vomit.

  93. 93
    the beast of uganda says:

    80 years old and ou would still let her suck your dick

  94. 94
    jgm2 says:

    Fair play to the Lib Dems. I’m loving these significant moves in the lower level tax threshold. I reckon Cameron/Osborne should over-deliver and go for 12K or 15K tax-free before 2015.

  95. 95
    jgm2 says:

    Stephanie Flanders (who sounds like the woman with the bad cold in the Boots advert) was injecting some rare reality on the BBC.

    Essentially she was saying that raising the tax threshold to over 9,000 and cutting the 50% rate would only cost a couple of billion which, in the context of 150bn quid annual deficits was neither here nor there.

    I notice too a dose of reality from the BBC on NHS changes.

    But for all the controversy over the changes, this date is likely to pass many people by.

    For patients visiting their GP practice or those being treated on the wards of hospitals, there will be little noticeable change.

    Has there been a bedwetter purge?

  96. 96
    AC1 says:

    BIOLOGISTS EXPLAIN how organisms adapt to their physical environment, but ideologues also adapt to their social environment. The most fundamental fact about the ideas of the political left is that they do not work. Therefore we should not be surprised to find the left concentrated in institutions where ideas do not have to work in order to survive.

  97. 97
    AC1 says:

    and all you have to do to get a ration of treatment is be an MP. Being a PM lets you jump any queue!

    Remember, some are more equal than others.

  98. 98
    AC1 says:

    > 1. We all pay taxes

    That’s completely wrong. Taxes are extorted from us. We are fined for working, employing, investing and saving.

  99. 99
    D L George says:

    I saw an ex tory MP a couple of years ago saying He wanted £20,000 threshold before paying tax. More power to their arm.

    Notice how Aunty Beeb said low earners would lose out as their tax benefits would be cut? What difference would it make apart from the goverment saving money on accountants, nice of the Beeb to give a negative spin to it though eh?

  100. 100
    jgm2 says:

    How about Secret Courts that would deny them a F******g fair inquest

    A fair inquest? Unless you are suggesting they were taken out by the Americans (entirely possible) then I’m prepared to believe that a fucking great IED did for them.

  101. 101
    jgm2 says:

    Notice how Aunty Beeb said low earners would lose out as their tax benefits would be cut?

    Yep. Spotted that. No mention at all of the positive feeling folk would get from knowing they weren’t getting [quite so many] hand-outs. Most folk have enough pride to want to pull their own weight. Taxing them excessively in order to then launder it through the civil service and then give it back as handouts is counter-productive and corrosive to self-esteem.

    The more money we can allow folk to keep in the first place then the better for all concerned.

  102. 102
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. And getting fucked up with dr*i*nk and belting a few people will get you a suspended sentence as an MP – the kind of behaviour you would expect an exemplary sentence from any other high profile profession.

    Whereas this anonymous chap who thumped a student and broke his jaw is looking at seven years in jail.

    I’m not applauding this kids behaviour but it shows what the establishment thinks is important.

  103. 103
    jgm2 says:

    I’d let her suck your dick too.

  104. 104
    thick as thieves says:

    I am available for hire again

  105. 105
    Take a full refund on your way out says:

    Just another anonnywog with a basic command of the English language, yawn

  106. 106
    Take a full refund on your way out says:

    The expression is ‘confiscation of wealth’

  107. 107
    Labour=fucked says:

    Who cares? Their response will be forgotten by Friday.

    Unless they fuck it up spectacularly. qv “tax cuts take money out of the economy” [tm] G Brown, or “You’re over-taxed? Who cares?” [tm] E. Balls Esq. Or, “too far, too fatht” [tm], the weirdo mong.

  108. 108
    rocknrolla says:

    Is there any evidence that Cameron is doing anything about the placing of ads for public sector jobs in the Guardian? I haven’t read anything.

  109. 109
    albacore says:

    Well, ain’t it just great, this feel-good factor?
    Much as I hate to be a detractor
    If all it takes to make you feel fine
    Is any old pig but a Labour swine
    Though they’re all tarred with the very same brush
    Why, go right ahead and enjoy the rush
    And they’ll keep you in stitches, those LibLabCon scrotes
    It’s a right larf, Dave’s farce with the Royal Navy’s boats

  110. 110
    81IIy 8owden i5 7he gre@test ump1re ever ! says:

    … or maybe he is just as big a huhne as me :)

  111. 111
    sandy says:

    This just show that most Tories are closet UKIPpers. Time for the cowards to come out of the closet for the good of the country.

  112. 112
    sandy says:

    Raising the lower tax threshold is a no-brainer. It saves many people on low incomes (including pensioners) money and bureaucratic hassle. And it reduces the work of the tax department – leading to more cuts in public spending in that area.

  113. 113
    Ken says:

    Just keeping the welfare block vote for labour topped up

  114. 114
    Ah! Monika ex Telegraph says:

    Pesto’s not the only one

    “Drayton Manor
    New to the theme park’s 4D Cinema is The Little Prince, which charts an intergalactic journey, in which the title character battles mechanical dragons, rides flying sheeps and befriends a gentle giant.”

  115. 115
    Grim says:

    I wish everybody else would effing “de-tweet”…
    I suppose it keeps all the morons busy though.

  116. 116
    Spfsefolologist says:

    Spot on. The best way to encourage somebody to vote for you is to start by insulting them.

    Call someone a cowardly repressed homosexual and they’ll put a cross against your name just to restore whatever shreds of self-esteem they had before you ripped them a brand new orifice.

  117. 117
    Steve Lloyd says:


  118. 118

    Boris has wandering knob trouble- get over it.
    His wife takes him back, her decision not yours – get over it.
    Me thinks Anonymous protests too much – are the horns you are wearing starting to chafe?
    Did the bitch then sting you for half of everything…?

    I think we don’t need to know

  119. 119

    And the teacher training college down the road was just as educational, and free at the point of delivery.

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ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
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Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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