March 17th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

Last week some 100,392 visitors made 291,430 visits to view 448,141 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind.


  1. 1
    The Mirror in front of Lord Fondlebum says:

    Nothing to see here.

  2. 2
    Gabriel says:

    You may have been experiencing some turbulence in recent years.

    • 217
      RighteO..🔥🔥🔥 says:

      250 doctors vow to stand for Parliament.

      a bit of turbulence alright.

  3. 5
    Hang The Bastards says:

    BREAKING NEWS ++ Ed Milliband Office Broken Into

    Police sources confirm several colouring books and crayons have been taken along with 10 unopened nasal sprays and a “I want to be PM” badge.

    • 11
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      One thing they didn’t steal was ideas !

      • 67
        durrrr says:

        According to the Mailygraph:

        “Labour Party officials were today trying to establish if any important policy papers or briefing notes were taken during the break-in.”

        Important policy papers? In Miliband’s office? Hellloooooo?

        • 109

          I had a good laugh at Sky News’ Peter “spewing bollocks” Spencer who speculated it could be a Watergate style break-in.

          Why would any Coalition member be even remotely threatened by Miliband to want to break into his office.

          Perhaps Mr. Spencer should be pointing the finger a little closer to the Labour Party home where the real hostilities to Miliband lie, but you can’t expect joined up thinking from a News International journalist.

          • To Be Fair says:

            To be fair, Peter Spencer has done well for himself since him and his Son Draco got thrown out of Hogwarts.

          • AC1 says:

            Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
            Napoleon Bonaparte
            French general & politician (1769 – 1821)

      • 81
        Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

        Perhaps they could find no ideas to steal.

    • 33
      Richard Nixon says:

      I had nothing to do with it this time. I’ve been dead for twenty years, fer Chrissakes.

    • 49
      Phil says:

      You forgot several blank sheets of paper and the collected works of G Brown.

    • 73

      The Barclaygraph on-line says ‘Labour leader’s suite of offices believed to be focus of police inquiry after door was reportedly found forced open by parliamentary staff’
      There you go – case solved.

  4. 8
    St. Patrick says:

    Top o’ th’ marnin’ t’ yez, be jeezus! Now, yez’ll be good lads and not get TOO snockered now, will yez? I shouldn’t need t’ hafta come there an’ brain ya with me crozier, now, will I, ya blackguards ya?

    • 103
      Woodkerne says:

      Bejasus it bees de holy man hisself, can ye give us no pase on dis holy day, away an suffer deh sassenachs beggorrah!

  5. 9

    Who is the next useless git to take over the Church of England?

    Has there ever been a good one in our lifetimes?

    • 10
      Harry says:

      I’m going to see if my great great great great uncle John will put in a good word for me.

      • 13
        J K Rollinginit says:

        I think Lord Voldermort Fondlebum might have something to say about that.

    • 12
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Mornin mate !

      Not Bashing the Bishop again are you ? LoL

    • 16
    • 19
      taC eht abbaJ says:

      Currently, it looks like the Ugandan shoe shine boy who can’t speak English is the bookies favourite…

    • 23
      Hang The Bastards says:

      How about the black ethnic homophobic self serving hypocritical thieving choirboy loving Archbishop of York.

      he seems to tick all the churches requirements

    • 24
      I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

      A man in a frock worshiping a sky-pixie – you couldn’t make it up – but they DID!

      • 30
        Well it's a thought says:

        Still trying to figure out if global warming came first?.

      • 64
        booboo kittyfuck says:

        I thought god was supposed to be omnipresent, not just in the sky. Just sayin’, if you want your proposition to hold up.

        • 69
          God is Santa for Grownups says:

          If He’s omipresent, that means He’s in my toilet bowl, and I just had a massive crap on His face.

          • loser watch says:

            god is everywhere and everything, so he don’t give a shit.

          • God is Santa for Grownups says:

            What’s it like, dedicating your life to the worship of a pretend sky pixie?

          • mong watch says:

            There you go again, what’s with the sky pixie ffs? Don’t you understand long words like omnipresent? Bless.

          • Comparrative arsehole watch says:

            The Sky Pixie slur is just so last year I mean fucks sake cant you athiest c unts think of something original for a change instead of parroting what some other wanker said. Flying Spaghetti monsters and teapots are all also passe.

          • timothy says:

            I’m an atheist, and just because I believe god doesn’t exist, he doesn’t exist, he just doesn’t, and that’s the end of it. These are some of the reasons why.

            1) Why would god invent something nasty like death, which I don’t agree with? We should all be immortal and have 1,573 orgasms per day (or thereabouts).
            2) Why only seven basic colours? I’m sure if there was a god we’d have more and better colours.
            3) Why would a benevolent god permit grave injustices like some men having bigger cocks than others?
            4) Why doesn’t he come round my house for a chat sometime? I’m sure that for someone who controls time it would be easy to go round everybody’s house to prove his existence, especially to us atheists who must be a thorn in his side (hehe)
            5) I’m not rich or ever won the lottery.
            6) Why would a benevolent god let us invent guns and war? Surely he would intervene and disillusion us of our belief in free will.
            7) Piers Morgan……why?

          • Penrose says:

            There are more than seven colours it is just that you do not see them

    • 41
      Benedict XVI says:

      All right, you made your point, the Church of Rome WAS corrupt back in the 16th C….my predecessor probably could have given King Henry an annulment… You lot have had a good run for almost 500 years…don’t you think it’s time we talked about it? You know, getting back together? I’m not trying to be unkind, but…you know, the Anglican brand name isn’t what it used to be, and…you know, we’ll even throw in married priests– too many incidents with the kids; so I’m thinking, former-Anglican married priests might be a solution…Tell me you’ll at least consider it, OK?

    • 58
      Stinkfinger says:

      I Hear John Prescott has put in for the Job.

    • 80
      AC1 says:

      I’m not a God-Botherer, but here’s a hint!
      The Head of the CoE should believe in God, not Marx.


  6. 20
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    It’s OK for ragheads to bomb indiscriminately, but it’s not OK for a US soldier to waste a few of them?

    • 26

      You don’t believe in the moral high ground then ?

      • 27
        I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:


        • 29
          Tough Love says:

          We should never have been in Affy in the first place.
          Bush and Blair were idiots putting our good brave men in harm’s way.
          A Little Boy dropped on Kabul would have stopped their nonsense.
          Japan didn’t misbehave again after the Enola Gay’s fly by did it?

          • Tony Blair didnt fool me says:

            I f the Russians couldnt sort out the shit in Afgan, why the fuckin hell did anyone think we could……….

          • AC1 says:

            Well I think we should’ve wafted through, whacked the Taliban and their supporting villages (in Afghanistan and Pakistan) and left.

            None of this nation building in a pre-civilisation culture that cannot take it.

          • AC1 says:

            Well I think we should’ve wafted through, whacked the Taliban and their supporting villages (in Afgh4nistan and P4kistan) and left.

            None of this nation building in a pre-civilisation culture that cannot take it.

    • 82
      Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

      Have you noticed this has not caused the same riots as the Koran burning? Strange.

  7. 25
    Ah! Monika says:

    Thieves ‘break into Ed Miliband’s office’ in audacious Houses of Parliament break-in. Daily Mail.

    We need a DEEP THROAT

    • 28
      I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

      So do I, but there’s no chance with my missus!

    • 32
      Well it's a thought says:

      What were they looking for the Dandy and the the Beano or Dan Dare or some Giles cartoon books, they couldn’t be looking for ideas and thoughts written down as the judge has already said they are dreams.

    • 77
      AC1 says:

      “If you look long enough into the void Milliband begins to look back through you.”

  8. 31
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Can the BBC explain why Jo Coburn of the Daily Politics show was helping out Harriet Harman during their interview.
    Does Coburn think Harman would help her in any way.
    Biased Broadcasting at it’s best.
    And that Guardian woman on the same show said it was unfair to expect Harman to have the facts and figures. Ed Miliband’s deputy doesn’t know the facts and figures.
    Labour are a disgrace.

    • 36
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      She broke in his office last night to get a copy !

    • 37
      Gonk says:

      Because they’re all women. They probably get their husbands to fucking reverse their fucking cars out before they go off to pretend to run the fucking country.
      Hey I’d like Harman next to me in a trench armed with a bren. Why not give em a destroyer while your at it.

    • 38
      Harridan Harmanhater says:

      Never let facts get in the way of a pathetic Liebour ‘policy’

      • 43
        Jacqueline Dromey says:

        None of the family – like Liebour – are any good with numbers.

        • 116
          The Man Who Came In From The All Woman Shortlist says:

          How was I supposed to Know I was only the Party Treasurer!

        • 169
          MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

          FFS He had been an MP for ONE Month and already has committed TWO counts of fraud and he just has to say sorry to half a dozen sleeping MP’s !

          Great job if you can get one (for a woman)

    • 44
      albacore says:

      Just ‘cos Harriet’s no financial whizz
      And none of the muppets in Labour is
      That doesn’t raise Dave to the rank of god
      When, in fact, he’s just as silly a sod
      It seems his guru was not Blair but Brown
      Now, will Fawkes please blow all Parliament down?

    • 265
      Jack Dromey says:

      Why should she, a woman, be expected to understand manmade sumsie wumsies when they cannot be used to express the female world unlike interpretiver dance which Harriet is an expert in?

  9. 40
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    It was Eric Joyce looking for somewhere to take a dump

  10. 42
    Mine says:

    Top week Sir.

  11. 45
    Gordon Brown says:

    I disagree with Ed.

    • 48
      Joss Taskin says:

      Does that mean he’s on the right track ?

    • 50
      • 55

        So you persuaded El Gordo to throw away our gold to ensure that everyone would turn against the one-eyed git and make way for you – is that it ?

        • 104
          CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

          It wasn’t just Ed Ballsup who persuaded El Gordo to give away our gold reserves. Goldman Sachs had a big input after they tried short selling gold but the markets wouldn’t play ball which would have left them with a multi-million dollar loss. They had to look around for some economic illiterate they could persuade to offload a shitload of the yellow stuff at a rock bottom price to drive down market values. They didn’t have far to look as they were already embedded within New Labour.

          • CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

            Posting modded at 5.48p.m., still modded at 12.49 a.m.. What the feck is going on with modbot? It will soon be a waste of time posting on this site if Guido doesn’t moderate his fucking modbot!

          • Lou Scannon says:

            Weekend service, C.O.M. We all know it’s crazy, but have you tried figuring out what the offending words are, adjusting them slightly and reposting ?
            The trouble is that there are quite a few words on the proscribed list, and WordPress just picks them up wherever they appe@r. Here are some of the words believed to be on the current list :
            pea, harry, drive, cole, paul, turd, stain, bankrupt, rice
            That first one seems to cause the most grief since it forms part of so many other words. There are various ways round it, as you can see.
            Oh, and don’t use a lot of hyperlinks – that’s another WordPress no-no.

      • 76
        AC1 says:

        No wonder he had no friends at school (so I am told).

      • 117
        Ed Balls , with friends like these says:

        Notice how the Telegraph aren’t allowing comments on this interview

  12. 53
    Basketball Dave says:

    i want basketball to be in the olympics now

  13. 54
    For our host, one of Irelands greatest exports. says:

  14. 59
    A Senior Plod says:

    We can confirm that during the recent break in at Mr Milliband’s offices, no policy documents were found by the thieves. After an exhaustive search we were unable to locate any either.

    • 61
      DM says:

      Ed’s only policy is to look and sound like a mong.

    • 62
      Stinkfinger says:

      If the leader of the oppositions offices were anything like when I worked at Parliament,it would be hard to tell if the fucking place had been ransacked or not.
      A broken window on the door maybe but that would only indicate that Eric Joyce had been to visit.

  15. 63
    For Tomorrow, Happy O'Green Day! says:

  16. 68
    Just a thought says:

    St Patrick’s Day is so bogus.

    • 72
      The Pickled Liver says:


      When your national Saint’s day exists purely to boost the prof!ts of an English beverage company, it’s time to call it a day. So to spe@k.

  17. 75
    Chris Huhne watch says:
  18. 86
    Innocent? says:
  19. 90
    Save Ed says:

    Save Ed!

  20. 92
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Well done the boyos.

    Worthy champions.

  21. 93
    • 119
      Lord Longford says:

      What a fucking car crash this woman is. Former Government minister FFS Just shows you what a privilleged upbring can get you.

      • 267
        Jack Dromey says:

        She only nicked another car. It is not as if she killed someone while texting which a Labour MP did. But did not because he is asian.

    • 140
      We are run by people who could not put 2 lego bricks together says:

      I mean seriously…is she for real.

  22. 95
    Anonymous says:

    The latest on banker resignations:

    358 already!

    Long may they continue!

  23. 96
    What a bunch of bankers says:

    The latest on banker resignations:

    358 already!

    Long may they continue!

  24. 98
    Omaha's Poodle says:

    I’m off to the Races

    With my Chipping Norton friends, they are out on bail again…..

    But they are so rich and connected….

  25. 101
    Guido's conscience says:

    A good little bit of further ethic cleansing today what Guido ?

    Bomb them kill them and then deport the rest ?

    Since you stated that “Jordan is Palestine”, you think all Palestinians should be transferred to Jordan

    or killed ?

  26. 107
    Top Secret says:

    Here you are, now don’t tell anyone!

    • 111
      AC1 says:

      Sort of says how useless the IQ test really is.

      • 130
        All Police are pigs says:

        Did you see today’s Times? They have sample tests for recruits to the Police Farce. The sort of questions we used to get when we were about 7. One is: “Mary has a £5 note, four 20p coins and five 2p coins. How much money does Mary have?”

        And get this: it’s multiple choice.

        No wonder all police are f*cking thick.

        • 141
          Some Geezer wot sees it's all in how the game is played says:

          The correct answer, of course, is “Depends on whether the money is actually considered to be Mary’s or whether the money is deemed to be going through some sort of tax shelter devised by Peter Auguste, Chartered Accountants, Brighton, in which case, though she may have it in hand, strictly speeking, it is not hers per se.”

          The stuff Plod need to know nowadays…

          • The average thick Plod says:

            What does “deemed” mean?

          • An v. well paid Advisor in these matters at your local Town Hall says:

            I feel you may have meant ‘demeaned’ – as in feeling oppressed, slighted, not given respect and in that sense damaging the client’s (or clearly innocent person’s) own self-respect.

            This is the bread-and-butter day-to-day common-or-garden work of the police, with special emphasis on racial and/or religious slights EXCEPT where they concern white christian (or anglo-saxon) heterosexual, working, indigenous persons. In which they can be ignored and then charged with one or more hate crimes.

        • 153

          The answer is nothing. Because Ahmed has just half-inched it whilst the police were holding these stupid tests to determine the existence of a single braincell.

  27. 120
    not a machine says:

    Break in at Eds office , only file found to be missing was shad cabinet reshuffle :)

    The venerable Rowan Williams is to stand down , but not before overseeing 7 diffcult prospects for the synod . My only thoughts are , it was right for him to stand down and pursue his more academic aspects , noting that when establishments become academic execises there are useually many questions in its wake . Homosexual marriage was one would have thought , a situation where not much discussion was needed , and it has caused a great deal of thought , some missing the point about the definition marriage changing and its angles , some missing Ed the younger has absolutely nothing to say on the matter . Nor is it particulary the CofE that is much troubled . Some commentators have considered it may well split , in which case we perhaps have to consider our differences a little more and the lasting spirit , of it and make somthing of our respective Historys that does not trouble either as both churches have somthing of God and service . I am perhaps most concerned about Cranmers legacy , which runs through my churches history ,as beautiful lyrics. I would think somthing that understands and respects a history not looked at through the eye of rejection , but one of seeing why reason is as much a part as authority . Accomodation may be one word one could use and yet respecting independence is another knowing full well 500yrs have passed and it being insoluable in its old terminology . Apart we cannot combine , together we struggle , even though it is a more earthly matter compared to the Nicene creed .
    I am sure our respective minds will need some time to consider we interact correctly and not have hidden excuses , or feelings of deep error or offence . It can never be a cheap cut and paste job for either chruch . I hope that considered private dialogue will discern all aspects and find what we can live with and what it is possible that is gods imagination . Pope Bendict must be as aware of the need to folllow in the historic footsteps , as in other churches . If it comes to nothing more than a perhaps an odd special dispensation for curios , but the church works better in the world , then that must be good , lest both primates find themselves in the belly of a large fish and not serving the people .
    It does feel right to work together , going back is loss , I do not have much answers for the details , English is different to Latin , Latin opera as good as Shakespear . Strangers to one another is resolvable , alienation from god isnt.

  28. 121
    Archy Bishop of Canterbury says:

    The time has come for me to . . . um . . . er . . . . announce . . a . . er . . . an . . er . . important announcement . . . . but first I have to . . er . . . um . . .have . . to um . . make the . . er. . decision whether to make the announcement . . and that takes us into realms of . . er. . . decision . . . making . . . and so . . . brethren . . if . . I may make . . so . . um . . er. . bold. . .as . . to call . . you um . . brethren . . because of course . . there may be sistren . . and um . . those on . . a . journey . . of moving . . um . . between . . one . . and the . . the other um . . not . . I . .hasten . . um . . to add . . that one is better than . . or more flavoured . . did I say . . flavoured ? O gracious me . . no . . I have never um . . tasted one . . to compare it to the other . . um . . .favoured than the other . . oh dear . . . . ah! the gong for dinner! . . .

    Let us pray . . for wisdom . . . and for . . um . . Mr. . . Obama . . and um . . our brethren . . and um . . sistren at the um . . er. . Grouniad. . and um . . BBC . .

    • 122
      Pope Interdict the Thirteenth says:

      Halt’s Maul und hau ab, du Arschloch!

    • 125
      the beast of uganda says:

      Bring on brother Sentamu , a chap who has lived in the real world and who is a true yorkshireman

      • 132
        Acme Recruitment Services says:

        The downside is, he believes in a make-believe magic sky ghost. A sky ghost so powerful it can set fire to a bush. “Oh yea, tremble in fear at the power of the magic bush-burning sky ghost!”

        That suggests a question to be asked at the job interview: “Do you believe in a make-believe magic sky pixie?”

        Anyone who answers “yes” is not only unsuitable for the job, they’re unsuitable for ANY job.

        • 136
          Revd. Phoney £rd Way B£iar, Sanctimonious Git and £i*r says:

          I’ll take him!

          Hey guys – trust me, – I’m very Very VERY wealthy! – and a straightkindaguy!

        • 277
          Marion the cat says:

          As is ARS above, just the final E missing, if ARS doesn’t want to believe in God then fine, it’s not mandated, but no need to spit venom on those that do. Go and find something useful; to do that will further your own life.

  29. 133
    Jock Itch - the 21st Centruy MaGonigall says:

    Twas in tha’ yar’
    of 2012
    that Brother Brhoon
    tha’ greatest man in toon’
    ah’m doon
    ah’m fuck’d
    ah’m goona
    put ma spannocks

    Ah’n he did
    ah’n tha’ wuld
    a betta’ place!

  30. 134
    Dick the Prick says:

    Test – wordpress issues

  31. 135
    Irony Klaxon says:
  32. 139
    Garry says:


  33. 144
    Harriet Harms Men says:

    Hello co-conspirators. Hope you’ve had a good night. I’m pissed as fuck. Good times. Night all.

  34. 146
    Dead Parrot says:

    You do though have a problem with the Guido brand and I am sure you are aware of it.

    The Daily Mail, Guardian and a few others have caught up with you and are now providing great online interactive experiences. Even more they provide multiple choice while you are stuck on one rut.

    I’d like you to succeed but I am sure your current model is DEAD.

  35. 147
    Fatbot says:
    • 150
      Schools must not produce winners says:

      “retire too”??

      • 154
        A Toppe Ed-yer-kashun-yst (wiv a dergreey in meedya 'n that) says:

        O come now! IT’S NOT QUITE LIKE THAT!

        Rather, – it’s ALL MUST ‘OF’ PRIZES!

        Innit – knowotoymeen?

        Like, – ‘n that

      • 155
        Scary says:

        To think the fat illiterate mong wanted to become PM.

        • 170
          Haribo Halfwit says:

          He did. Forgotten already, except for the big stinking pile of debt he left behind.

      • 156
        Eliza Doolittle says:

        Is she going ? Wouldn’t that be loverly ?

      • 171
        Some Geezer wot thinks things are h says:

        Maybe Diane should retire, too.
        Well then, Diane, what do you plan to do once you’ve left Parliament? How will you spend your time?

        • 173
          Some Geezer wot's gonna edit ^^above ^^ moniker line says:

          …”wot thinks things are ‘headed’ this way” Don’t ask me how I messed up, ‘coz I can’t tell you. (Probably hit “enter” button instead of inverted commas.)

      • 186
        AC1 says:


  36. 149
    albacore says:

    Dear me, has our Parliament now descended
    To obscenities that can’t be defended?
    Although some may rejoice in brawls in the bar
    Four-letter cussing in the House goes too far
    Then again, if Mr Squeaker missed this tirade
    Did it happen, or does he need a hearing aid?

  37. 157
    Give us your fuckin money! says:

    Live Aid’s Bob Geldof is among stars reported to be dodging tax by using offshore accounts. Why am I not surprised?

    • 181
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      Bollinger Bolsheviks anyone ?

    • 185
      AC1 says:

      Maybe he understands that giving money to this government means they’ll give it to politically connected people in foreign countries and make things worse.

  38. 158
    The Andy and Blinky love-in says:

    If you fancy kicking in your TV, Blinky is on Andrew Marr shortly.

  39. 164
    Check List says:

    Another good week in that another name can be crossed off:

    Bliar (politico) – gone!

    Bliar (policio) – gone!

    Brhoon – gone!

    Blinky – gone!

    Preztl – gone!

    Mandlescum – gone!

    Wonky Williams – GOING!!

    Rumpy-Pumpy –

    Wavy-Dave –

    Vincey Babe –

    Cleggomania -

  40. 167
    MB. says:

    On BBC News

    “Speeding penalty point dodgers face prison, police warn
    By Samantha Fenwick Reporter, 5 Live Investigates ”

    “Deputy Chief Constable Suzette Davenport from the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) says it is important this type of crime is not trivialised.”

    • 179
      Lou Scannon says:

      Yes, Suzie, get your priorities right and leave the real criminals to get on with looting and pillaging this once-great country.

      • 218
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        She’s probably another useless fat bitch over promoted.

    • 233
      Anonymous says:

      Despite her title this women is NOT a police officer and has got no authority in this matter. ACPO, who employ her, is a private limited company.

      I could call myself Chief Constable in my company but it doesn’t make me a policeman and doesn’t qualify me to make statements about sentencing.

    • 273
      Elton Ben says:

      YEs sSuzette you put Harriet Harman over your knee and you slap her botty wotty for being boldy woldy and driving away from the accidenty wenty and having no insurance woorance.

  41. 172
    Coalition Government says:


  42. 174
    Nad is mad says:
    • 176
      Mitt Romney says:

      How many times do I have to tell all you people, the LDS church IS a Christian church, just not like what you’re used to.

      • 184
        AC1 says:

        Hey don’t worry, Obama’s church wont make the MSM, as it’s only a violently anti-white black-supremacist run of the mill religious establishment….

    • 177
      Gaydar Dave says:

      Dave certainly seems to be against Christians with his homosexual marriages, banning crosses and now suspending the Sunday trading laws.

      • 180
        Strepsilator says:

        Mr Cameron is a poor prime minister.

        • 182
          Anonymous says:

          The last one would have taken some beating but it looks like he’s winning the contest.

        • 183
          Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

          I agree.

          • TWOC says:

            He’s as much removed from reality as the last car crash, and that’s saying something.

          • A Pretentious Prick posing as PM says:

            I say chaps!!! That’s a bit strong!

            I’m very good at making speeches – watt!

            And my poses behind the podium are second-to-none! watt!

            Ah Darling! – is luncheon ready? Charles and I are famished! – care for some more Krug?

        • 198
          WVM says:

          Indeed, saying one thing and doing another doesn’t bode well.

        • 204
          I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

          Mr Cameron is a RICH Prime Minister!

    • 201
      Cell time says:

      Start the process of removing CofE as a visible and active part of public life, when complete do the same for all religions, no Burkahs or Hajib (or whatever) in public, no weird orthodox sects etc.

      Good strategy.

      • 208
        Dave the rave says:

        But Dave is only attacking the Christian church. Like Blair and Brown he is pandering to the Muslims and homosexuals.

  43. 178
    what i want to know is says:

    Was there anything stolen from Eds office during the break in?

  44. 205
    Little Lord Fondlebum says:

    The rich have suffered enough already :

    • 214
      Anonymous says:

      How are we expected to get growth in the economy when the entrepreneurs, investors and risk takers have fecked off abroad to countries that have the intelligence to see the benefit in having wealth creators in their country? I hate the rich as much as anybody but pragmatism must come before before envy and jealousy. We got out of the economic shite in the 80s and 90s by reducing tax rates for the rich. Why should we not do the same now? Where is the logic in punishing the rich and in doing so making the poor poorer and increasing unemployment? I see none at all.

      • 215
        Gordon Brown says:

        You lot have no idea how to grow an economy, I am the genius that did away with bust and game us a decade of boom. We did it by borrowing, thieving off the workers and printing.

        • 221
          Archbishop Runcie says:

          F*ck off most incompetent PM in history, a Phd in History makes you as qualified to be Chancellor and understand economics, as Handycock is to give lectures on moral values, and the outcomes on both the same, disaster.

  45. 206
    The Mirror in front of Lord Fondlebum says:

    Who said that ?

  46. 210
    Political Bird Watch says:

    I see the RSPB is advertising here. So I followed the link and it is ever so political urging people to email George Osborne. I trust the Charity commission will have something to say about this. And why doesn’t the RSPB object to bat and bird mincing windmills?

  47. 212
    David Miliband says:

    I want to go on record as saying how deeply disturbed I am at the news of my brother’s office having been broken into. Whatever the differences between him and me, such an act can only bring out the brother in me, and…

    OH, bloody hell, it’s no use, I can’t go through with it! OK– you want the truth? I broke in, all right? There– I said it! And I’m glad! I broke in! I wanted to see what it felt like to sit behind Ed’s desk– which should have been MY desk! Yeah, I DID IT! And I’m proud of myself , do you hear, PROUD!

    (*laughs uncontrollably as police put on the darbies and lead him away*)

  48. 220
    Staged? says:
    • 222
      annette curton says:

      Not in the same league as the Met breaking into House of Commons offices, rifling through private constituents correspondence and then arresting Damien Green and holding him for 9 hours on some trumped up excuse using a Labour anti-terrorist law.

  49. 228
    Sleaze watch says:

    What’s happened to the Sunday sleaze Guido? I can’t believe all our politicians have given up sleaze for lent, it is not in their nature.

  50. 231
    Murdoch and the Dark Side says:

    Amusing little article on Murdoch

    Thought what his Evil Empite had done is far from amusing….

  51. 238
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The Greed of George Osborne !
    Relaxing the Sunday trading laws Just for the 8 weeks of the Olympics
    We are in such shit , that he even needs the tiny amount of tax take
    this will bring in
    Greedy useless bastard !

    • 242
      AC1 says:

      yes. we need to end special trading laws for sunday.

    • 243
      annette curton says:

      I thought the idea behind Sunday trading laws was because of some old fashioned religious significance for that day, so now the Olympics can take precedence over God (but just for 8 weeks), ROFL.

    • 246
      Gideon Osborne, the future Irish baronet says:

      Give me a break

      I am just listening to Guido and all of you so-called libertarians…

      You all want to be plastered this Summer…

      I am just helping you

      And Guido should love me as the heir to a real Oirish barontcy….from just before Cromwell’s time…

  52. 240
    Toilets MaGuire, Britain's answer to Baghdad Bob says:

    And now Guido supports the Dead Tree Press

    You are going backwards on this blog…

  53. 248
    Travelling Twinky Mandelson says:

    Why aren’t you talking about ME any more

    Have I been found out ?

  54. 249
    Empty Ed and his Emptied Office says:

    We do love all the coverage Guido

    I can claim to be a double vicitim now if you know what I mean

    (That’s what Mandy told me….)

  55. 250
    The IOC says:

    We are more famous and powerful than Jesus.

  56. 254
  57. 256
    KGB and Chinese Intelligence joint communiqué says:

    We are suspected of spying on Ed Milliband

    We want to say loud and clear that he is NO interest to us (or to the people of Britain)

    • 269
      Sid says:

      But if you wanted to raise a country to ruin wouldn’t making Ed its leader be worth all the nuclear bombs in China?

  58. 261
    Guido's conscience says:

    What beautiful shyt Star on Sunday is producing alongside Gwido

  59. 262
    Not Ken Again says:

    Not Ken again.

  60. 278
    politics says:

    keep the good job

  61. 279
    Mark wouters says:

    Hello Again !
    Cameron and Clegg are the Tantric two or TANTRIC TORIES”

Seen Elsewhere

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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