March 16th, 2012

Labour HQ’s Cheltenham Loser

Following the car crash of a staff meeting on Monday at Labour HQ, staff were further outraged to learn the reason Iain McNicol was not in the office the following day (Tuesday) was, in true David Brent fashion, that he had gone to the races at Cheltenham.

Talking of Charles Allen, one staff member tells Guido

“it is complete disgrace that the NEC has allowed an ex-Goldman Sachs advisor to take over the party, be appointed the Chair of the Executive Board and in effect be the General Secretary in all but name, as Iain McNicol has proved to be such a numpty and not up to the job.”

Comrades, comrades, where is the love?

UPDATE: Over at the New Statesman – which in its heyday would have been all over a developing story like this about trouble in Labour HQ – Mehdi Hasan is complaining that Guido and his former colleague and bitter rival Dan Hodges are getting the scoops that people want to read whilst he is just wails on about Iran and Israel. If Ed Miliband’s biographer wasn’t such a patsy for the Labour leadership he would be reporting the story rather than exhorting Labour to sack our sources. 

An extraordinary stance for a journalist – to want to silence whistleblowers..


40 Comments

  1. 1
    Dev says:

    Strong and assured leadership by Ed Miliband

    • 3
      dai says:

      It should have been me, also I should be the next Arch bishop of something, no honkies will be allowed in my church

      • 13

        Vacancy for Archbishop of Canterbury.

        - Applicants –

        T. Blair
        – Pro – Very religious. Often talks directly with God.
        - Con – Catholic.

        G. Bush
        – Pro – Very religious. Often talks directly with God.
        -Con – God can’t make head or tail of what he says

        V. Cable
        - pro – Lib dems already think he’s a saint.
        – con – Everyone else thinks he’s a knob.

        A. Lansley
        - pro – Can’t think of anything
        - Con – Will be available to start quite soon

        G. Brown – Pro – Saved the banks – saved the world – Anti women bishops – anti women in general.- hears voices – Has a moral compass
        - Con – Compass doesn’t work. The voices in his head only tell him to set fire to things.

        O. Jones
        Pro – Guardian worship him.
        Con – Not old enough to grow a beard

        E.Balls
        pro – Happily believes in outrageous stories and prays for financial miracles.
        Con – Something of the J.Iscariot about him.

      • 22
        Diane Abbott says:

        Can I be on your campaign team

    • 20
      AC1 says:

      > An extraordinary stance for a journalist – to want to silence whistleblowers.

      It seems with journalistic “responses” to things like climategate, it seems the default response is to protect the narrative and hide the news from the public.

  2. 2
    Hey Labour, Where is the love? says:

  3. 4
    nellnewman says:

    Well its very evident to me that they need to appoint gordon as general secretary and Chairman of the Board.

    What better candidate could they have. & gordon is always desperately seeking another money string to his bow. I’m sure he’d oblige.

  4. 5
    Silent Bob says:

  5. 6
    Empty Ed Milliband says:

    Lord Cashpoint Levy told me that the Leader had to run two saprate networks in the New Labour Party

    One network of useful idiots, the officials and Treasurer like Jack Dromey who knew nothing when I was merrily flogging titles

    And the other which raises the real money (as hidden as possible) and which peddles the real influence

  6. 7
    Shame says:

    Merv the Swerve has died at the age of 65.

  7. 8
    R.I.P. says:
  8. 9
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Guido, get Harriet Harman’s Daily Politics interview up (today’s programme). Absolutely unbelievable!

    • 29
      NeverRed says:

      Hilarious!

      Q – How many private companies have signed up to the workscheme?
      A – I’m sure a lot will

      Q – How much is the scheme going to cost?
      A – Erm Erm Erm …long pause…Erm I don’t know, but I will find out

      Q – Where is the money coming from to pay for the scheme?
      A – The Tax on the Bankers Bonus

      Q – How can this tax pay for all these different schemes labour bring up?
      A – There are no other schemes which depend on this money

      Q – But Ed Balls says the tax will pay for 25,000 social houses to be built
      A – Yes but they will provide employment for the unemployed

      And on and on and on and on

      Hilarious

      • 34
        Delusion Central says:

        Their policies that are to be funded from bankers bonuses exceed the total amount of money in global circulation.

      • 37

        And the answers they give show that Labour are running a brain cell share system, and it wasn’t Harriet’s turn. Tomorrow doesn’t look to good either.

        Swing left, sweet Harriet, coming for a Union loan.

  9. 12
    Animal lover says:

    Good to know that Labour Grandees go to Cheltenham to watch horses being killed

    How many so far this week ? 5 and rising…

  10. 15
    Ed Moribund says:

    Hello – Justine? Can you come to the office. – they’ve locked me in again. yeah! And they’ve put my ipad in a jelly.

    • 17
      dai says:

      is medhi hasan shagging owen jones?

    • 30
      Blink Blink Balls with Eva overtaking him says:

      Hello Eddy – I loved seeing you in the Rolls Royce – great photo op…Did Baldwin organise it ?

      Having a spot of bother now ?

      I will supply you with a brand new jockstrap to help you “keep it all together” as we used to say in America…

      With friends like me you know you are always safe…

  11. 23
    Lord Mandlebum says:

    ‘… Guido and his former colleague and bitter rival Dan Hodges are getting the scoops that people want to read whilst he is just wails on about Iran and Israel.’

    Someone is tripping over himself there.

  12. 24
    Q says:

    Very good of Mehdi Hasan to insist on linking back to this site.

    May you bask in the SEO glory as your paid links receive more hits.

    You would think being an intellect of the highest order in every possible subject imaginable that he would know this.

    Mind I would imagine the domain authority of the new statesmen is -ve so maybe he does after all.

  13. 25
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Medhi Hasan is another play at socialism labourite. He really is an arrogant pompous loves himself shit. On the other hand those in the know see him as a tosser.

  14. 26
    Pull the other one says:

    Guido

    I love your reference to Halfon’s article

    Especially :

    “Clarke Carlisle, the head of the Professional Footballers’ Association Union, which is affiliated to the TUC, who denounced on Question Time the practice of full time Pilgrims in the NHS.”

    Those poor underpaid footieballers

    Affiliated to the TUC ?

    Paid offshore and struggling to make ends meet

    Will investment bankers now affiliate themselves to the TUC ?

    Just asking…

  15. 31
    Methdi Haram says:

    I am one of the greatest political commentators of the modern day, I’m intelligent, witty, cutting, popular, suave, sophisticated, handsome, erudite, classy. One of the cognoscenti in all matters.

    Anyway that’s enough about me lets talk about you…

    What do you think about me?

  16. 32
    Basil Fawlty says:

    The comments below the New Statesman piece say it all really…

    In true David Brent style they sneed to put their best man on the job to find the evil leaker – Gareth Keenan Investigates!

    • 35

      Gareth Balls – I found some things out..by hiding under the desk.
      Ed Milibrent – great – Did you find out who’s got it in for me?
      Gareth Balls – oh yes. its everyone!
      Ed Milibrent- everyone..Can’t be everyone.
      Gareth Balls -Yep. pretty much.I listened to all the name calling and..
      Ed Milibrent- Name calling? Calling me names?
      Gareth Balls – Yep. Mr Benn – Woody – the wrong trousers – the wrong brother – the wrong leader – my left foot in mouth – Phil the geek – Wolowitz -
      Ed Milibrent-right ..is..
      Gareth Balls -There’s more – Pencil neck – revenge of the nerd – Scooby poo –
      - Scooby Poo! That’s just childish..who said that one?
      Gareth Balls — Erm..that was me.. There’s more
      Ed Milibrent Really? Really?
      Gareth Balls – Do you want me to..
      Ed Milibrent Ok..go on then..
      Gareth Balls – Ed Moribund . Dead Miliband. Ed Milibland – Ed millibar/millipede/mini-me/Milkybar/Milimong/Milibum/Millisecond/millimeter/militwat/mini-rebrand/ mili-minor/-Ed MiniCooper ..Ed Millennium Falcon
      Ed Milibrent Ed Millennium Falcon? That doesn’t even make sense! right..I’m going to sort this out. Who said that one?
      Gareth Balls – erm…Tom Watson.
      Ed Milibrent – Oh..Ok ..I’ll sort it ..tomorrow. At the staff morning bonding meeting.
      Gareth Balls – Can I take the meeting?
      Ed Milibrent No! You’re just the deputy,deputy, leader ..actually…yes. yes you can.


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Kevin Maguire on the less than electrifying Ed Miliband…

“I bet if you went into a pub tonight and started a conversation about ­politics you’d hear strong opinions. David Cameron would be out of touch and Nick Clegg despised while Nigel Farage would divide people sharply. Miliband? In a lot of boozers he’d be the fourth most interesting man in British politics.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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