March 16th, 2012

Breaking: Gordon Brown Resigns


  1. 1
    The Admiral says:

    Goodmorning GF


    • 24
      Trying to be helpful says:

      I could give you a list of councilors i would like to resign. Unfortunately the list is too long for this blog.

      Hamish Vernal, Carl Nelson . . . .


      • 69

        Perhaps the other Gordon Brown can be persuaded by his Fife constituents to accept the Steward and Bailiff’s job for the Manor of Northstead; it’ll be less of a commute.

        However, his spokesman says “He is just getting on with the job (of trying to be as rich as Mandy and Tony)”


      • 97
        Gordon Brown (the original) says:

        Today, I am going to be a tree.


    • 36
      Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

      Politicians have really fu-ked the WORLD. Only a matter of time now for the whole Global crash. Shame when things where looking so good until the Knacker Political class thought it great to spend all the money on Terror, then fixing it. What was it Bliar said as he invaded IRAQ “Make the world a safer Place” or some other Putrid Lie. Lets Threaten another invasion of IRAN. Higher Gas price larger Taxes Finishing off the Real Economy. And by the way when are they bringing those Cancer causing Scanners to the UK??


    • 39
      Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

      The reports of my early demise are premature

      I am pleased that my heir apparent Chuck Yer Money Away is boasting that Labour will give every young person a job (Chinese funny money)

      and that the MiliManifesto promises that

      London will be paved in gold
      Pigs will sprout wings
      Ken Livingstone will become likeable
      No one will ever die again
      Every day will be sunny
      I will once again rule this country
      Scots will reject future subsidies
      Lord Lardarse will one day talk sense

      Any other Manifestations will be welcome

      Yours in sincerity



      • 60
        Hope over Reality says:

        How about

        Certain British Left Wing politicians refuse to receive payouts from the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Propaganda Unit


        • 64
          V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

          I would like to see the headline “Gordon Brown found guilty of treason.”


          • Judge dons his black cap… etc.


          • Full version: The judge dons his black cap and utters the words You shall be taken to the place from whence you came, and thence to a place of lawful execution, and there you shall be hanged by the neck until you be dead, and afterwards your body shall be buried in a common grave within the precincts of the prison wherein you were last confined before your execution, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul – nah, forget that last bit – fuck him…


          • Schrödinger's Orange Tree says:

            Hanging, drawing and quartering would fit the crimes. Wonder what he would call out at the moment of greatest agony?

            Probably, “Slavery!”


        • 82
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          I think a lamp post and piano wire is much more effective. And much cheaper.

          Just hang him up there and let him rot!


          • Mine d'Boggles says:

            Can you explain to me the obsession with piano wire? It does get mentioned rather frequently. I ask because the piano strings I have seen are rather fine (except the multiple bass “wires”) and I presume the effect of using them as a hanging rope would resemble the effect of a cheese board wire on a lump of cheese.


          • Schrödinger's Orange Tree says:

            There’s no need to reinvent “Breaking on the Wheel”.


          • Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

            I am a great fan of Gordon Brown, he attended a Portsmouth Businessman of the year dinner in Portsmouth for one of my ‘boys,’ when he was Chancellor and Fred Goodwin came along with him. Fred provided the loans for my ‘boys’ to do all the development for the asylum seekers we take in. By the way, I am still doing my best for the UK, evidenced here:




          • Sir Barrington Minge says:

            Not convinced by this.
            Probably better to let him live and see how he is held in such contempt and how the history books label him the worst Chancellor zand Prime Minister in recent times.


  2. 2
    skippy says:

    prefer to read gordon brown dead.


  3. 3
    Liarpoliticians says:

    You conned us all into clicking thinking we’d have some good news.


    • 71
      Hang The Bastards says:

      Got me hook line and sinker.

      If only the bong eyed twat of a n,once had any decency, he would resign.

      Sadly he is a parasitic teet sucking lazy tvvat ponging of the innocent hard working tax payer.


      • 90
        Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

        A certain type of politician (most of them) simply won’t resign. Think of the Larry Craig episode in the US. The police were trolling for homosexuals at an airport washroom with a bad reputation. Larry Craig, congressman for Idaho gets caught. He just denies it…the infamous “I have a wide stance” becomes a national joke.

        Politicians are shameless, they can not be embarrassed. He finally did resign, but made out like he was the aggrieved party.


  4. 4
    Guy Martin to win TT2012 says:

    would it be good news if the cursed one resigned? surely that would mean that he’d found a more effective way to fuck things up.


  5. 5
    Lou Scannon says:

    Perhaps if you sent the one-eyed mong a new pack of crayons (ready opened) and Ed Millibland’s blank sheet of paper ……


    • 17
      M says:

      I hear millibandwagon promising to tax everyone more to bribe the “young people” with money to vote labour , sorry ment non jobs of course . Sounds like the crayons have been picked up !


      • 27
        Steve Miliband says:

        Surely he will just get some funds from the money tree?

        I am sure there will queues of companies wanting to take on ill educated feckless idlers


    • 19
      Maximus says:

      Same crayons as 15 years ago, when McCyclops raided the banks for the yoof. Except the banks got their revenge.


  6. 6
    Blondebuster says:

    How could you tell?


  7. 7
    albacore says:

    May gurning Gordon never resign
    As a dire health warning, he’ll do fine
    To concentrate a shat-on nation
    On the dreadful toll of constipation


  8. 9
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I want him back as Labour leader, he’s a real hoot.


    • 20
      Gordon brown (via video link in the states) says:

      Do I have to appear in the HoC or do that annoying constituency stuff


  9. 10
    Gordon F Brown says:

    If only…


  10. 13
    Me says:

    You bastard Fawkes!


  11. 14
    My comment is awaiting moderation says:

    You would change your name, wouldn’t you?


    • 49
      Polly Seewonk says:

      Maybe his wife won’t let him – I can see a possibility for a low-premium high-payout life insurance policy with a ‘mandatory 5 roller-skates lying around the house’ clause.


  12. 15
    Anonymous says:

    I had to check the date then!

    Not fools day for another couple of weeks


  13. 16

    Cannock Chase District Council owes £45Tn, all racked up in the last 12 months.


  14. 18
    Anonymous says:

    slow news day?


  15. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    At least he looks like he has a genuine smile.


  16. 22
    Dewhurst, the High St. Butcher says:

    Feck you had me there Mr. Fawkes.
    I was praying as my computer was connecting to your site that the Buffty frae Kirkcaldy had been caught outside a school with a pocket full of puppies!


  17. 23
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Brown’s behaviour since the last election has been a complete disgrace. The fat turd is enriching himself and doing sfa for his constituents.

    Much as I believe in the Union I would love to see the SNP remove him next time round.


    • 62

      His constituents are largely mongols.

      If you posted £1,000 though each of their letter boxes each morning, they would still complain. They are beyond hope.

      And to think that the socialists used to believe in eugenics.


  18. 25
    Sophie says:

    For one horrendous moment there, in an Orwellian flash I thought that the fiscal lunatic had been given the keys to the World Bank.

    In this topsy turvy world, a place where Tony Blair could actually accept the job of Middle East Peace Envoy, McMental at the helm of WB is highly probable.

    The horror…..


  19. 28
    come on, you are going all Iain Dale says:

    This blog is poop now


  20. 29
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Sky News Reporting !
    That Little Ed Reallybland will today announce that
    “ALL young unemployed people Would Be Guaranteed a Job under Labour !”
    A week after the death of one comedian , another joker is born !

    “It’s the way i tell em !”


  21. 30
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I don’t know why you’re keen on that. he’s just a back bench seat blocker who doesnt do anything at all. And before you say “waste of money” just try to imagine the keen young labourite who’d be parachuted in.


  22. 31
    Nick Hisbert and partner says:

    What’s all this got to do with important things like sending all the foreigners home and deviant marriage?


  23. 32
    Marty Feldman Jr (aka Ed M) says:

    Why is it that Caliphate Ken and Ed Millipede talk down their noses to the electorate?

    Have they no respect?


  24. 33
    Gonk says:

    It’s a lovely morning here, what about there ?


  25. 34
    boak says:

    Come on Guido, get Cameron’s speech at the US banquet up here.
    It was truly appalling and should see that arsehole turfed out of office.
    Conservative, my arse


    • 43
      Gonk says:

      He did the servile toady bit quite well I thought. We ought to be thankful
      he didn’t check out his prostate and evacuate his bowels all over the table
      as GB regularly did when under pressure.


  26. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Frank Skinner with specs?


  27. 47
    binqu says:


    Paul Richards once thought it really cool to label as “a spiritual Nazi” a leader of the opposition who happened to be Jewish. Oddly enough, he hasn’t (yet) tried the same gag on Ed Miliband.

    btw Guido, where are my earlier comments concerning the political history of one Mr Paul Richards. There was nothing libellous there. Or have you outsourced your moderatin’ to the fabians?


  28. 51

    Who will carry my bags ??


  29. 53
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Just our luck!

    Wrong one.


  30. 59
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will buy Glasgow Rangers Football Club. It is the right thing to for the hard working people of Britain. The Tories are the ‘do nothing’ party


    • 68
      Great British Public says:

      Yes, you could add that to your collection of other brilliant investments on behalf the hard working people of Britain such as Royal Bank of Scotland, Northern Rock and HBOS.


    • 72
      Q says:

      Will you be using the monies from pensions or the gold reserve to fund this?
      You could always do a PFI and pay 30x the going rate over 25 years of course.


    • 74
      Hoots mon says:

      You could emulate your political career of late, by just buying a box and never turning up for the matches.


  31. 75
    Trev says:

    So not fair Guido!


  32. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    You have to feel sorry for the poor councillor. As if living in or near Cannock and having goofy teeth weren’t sufficient burdens.


  33. 78
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Such a jape! In a similar vein I find it highly amusing that David Cameron (no – not that one) is Chief Security Officer at International SOS (check Linkedin if you do not believe).


  34. 81
    Viz Top Tip says:

    Workers – Emulate Gordon Brown by simply not turning up for work, while expecting to be paid.


  35. 83
    Some Geezer wot says "We can dream, can't we?" says:

    Of course, if he were from Portsmouth, the more famous Mr. Brown could be both a Councillor AND MP. And show up for neither, in his case.


  36. 95
    Lickity-Split says:

    You bastard Guido! I’ve just blown 500 on bubbly as a result of reading your headline!


  37. 96
    Kirsten Imrie says:

    Shame. He is the best racing commentator.


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