March 16th, 2012

Breaking: Gordon Brown Resigns


  1. 1
    The Admiral says:

    Goodmorning GF

  2. 2
    skippy says:

    prefer to read gordon brown dead.

  3. 3
    Liarpoliticians says:

    You conned us all into clicking thinking we’d have some good news.

  4. 4
    Guy Martin to win TT2012 says:

    would it be good news if the cursed one resigned? surely that would mean that he’d found a more effective way to fuck things up.

  5. 5
    Lou Scannon says:

    Perhaps if you sent the one-eyed mong a new pack of crayons (ready opened) and Ed Millibland’s blank sheet of paper ……

  6. 6
    Blondebuster says:

    How could you tell?

  7. 7
    albacore says:

    May gurning Gordon never resign
    As a dire health warning, he’ll do fine
    To concentrate a shat-on nation
    On the dreadful toll of constipation

  8. 8
    Elvis says:

    He would smell better

  9. 9
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I want him back as Labour leader, he’s a real hoot.

  10. 10
    Gordon F Brown says:

    If only…

  11. 11
    M says:

    Spoken like a true labour troll , preacher of hate or simply ken “tax dodging” livingstone

  12. 12
    D-Ann Abbbottt says:

    U iz raceist inIt blud? Braappperz

  13. 13
    Me says:

    You bastard Fawkes!

  14. 14
    My comment is awaiting moderation says:

    You would change your name, wouldn’t you?

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    I had to check the date then!

    Not fools day for another couple of weeks

  16. 16

    Cannock Chase District Council owes £45Tn, all racked up in the last 12 months.

  17. 17
    M says:

    I hear millibandwagon promising to tax everyone more to bribe the “young people” with money to vote labour , sorry ment non jobs of course . Sounds like the crayons have been picked up !

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    slow news day?

  19. 19
    Maximus says:

    Same crayons as 15 years ago, when McCyclops raided the banks for the yoof. Except the banks got their revenge.

  20. 20
    Gordon brown (via video link in the states) says:

    Do I have to appear in the HoC or do that annoying constituency stuff

  21. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    At least he looks like he has a genuine smile.

  22. 22
    Dewhurst, the High St. Butcher says:

    Feck you had me there Mr. Fawkes.
    I was praying as my computer was connecting to your site that the Buffty frae Kirkcaldy had been caught outside a school with a pocket full of puppies!

  23. 23
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Brown’s behaviour since the last election has been a complete disgrace. The fat turd is enriching himself and doing sfa for his constituents.

    Much as I believe in the Union I would love to see the SNP remove him next time round.

  24. 24
    Trying to be helpful says:

    I could give you a list of councilors i would like to resign. Unfortunately the list is too long for this blog.

    Hamish Vernal, Carl Nelson . . . .

  25. 25
    Sophie says:

    For one horrendous moment there, in an Orwellian flash I thought that the fiscal lunatic had been given the keys to the World Bank.

    In this topsy turvy world, a place where Tony Blair could actually accept the job of Middle East Peace Envoy, McMental at the helm of WB is highly probable.

    The horror…..

  26. 26
    Trying to be helpful says:

    Councilors – lining their own pockets since . . .

  27. 27
    Steve Miliband says:

    Surely he will just get some funds from the money tree?

    I am sure there will queues of companies wanting to take on ill educated feckless idlers

  28. 28
    come on, you are going all Iain Dale says:

    This blog is poop now

  29. 29
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Sky News Reporting !
    That Little Ed Reallybland will today announce that
    “ALL young unemployed people Would Be Guaranteed a Job under Labour !”
    A week after the death of one comedian , another joker is born !

    “It’s the way i tell em !”

  30. 30
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I don’t know why you’re keen on that. he’s just a back bench seat blocker who doesnt do anything at all. And before you say “waste of money” just try to imagine the keen young labourite who’d be parachuted in.

  31. 31
    Nick Hisbert and partner says:

    What’s all this got to do with important things like sending all the foreigners home and deviant marriage?

  32. 32
    Marty Feldman Jr (aka Ed M) says:

    Why is it that Caliphate Ken and Ed Millipede talk down their noses to the electorate?

    Have they no respect?

  33. 33
    Gonk says:

    It’s a lovely morning here, what about there ?

  34. 34
    boak says:

    Come on Guido, get Cameron’s speech at the US banquet up here.
    It was truly appalling and should see that arsehole turfed out of office.
    Conservative, my arse

  35. 35
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    There looks fine from here

  36. 36
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    Politicians have really fu-ked the WORLD. Only a matter of time now for the whole Global crash. Shame when things where looking so good until the Knacker Political class thought it great to spend all the money on Terror, then fixing it. What was it Bliar said as he invaded IRAQ “Make the world a safer Place” or some other Putrid Lie. Lets Threaten another invasion of IRAN. Higher Gas price larger Taxes Finishing off the Real Economy. And by the way when are they bringing those Cancer causing Scanners to the UK??

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    We were resigned to Brown carrying on blagging the tax payer.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Frank Skinner with specs?

  39. 39
    Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

    The reports of my early demise are premature

    I am pleased that my heir apparent Chuck Yer Money Away is boasting that Labour will give every young person a job (Chinese funny money)

    and that the MiliManifesto promises that

    London will be paved in gold
    Pigs will sprout wings
    Ken Livingstone will become likeable
    No one will ever die again
    Every day will be sunny
    I will once again rule this country
    Scots will reject future subsidies
    Lord Lardarse will one day talk sense

    Any other Manifestations will be welcome

    Yours in sincerity


  40. 40

    Morning squire.

    Did you see Question Time last night with those dismal Scots? The best person there was Frank Field, a man in the wrong party.

  41. 41
    Synic says:

    Could be, or maybe Lembit after a hard screw.

  42. 42

    There are two men, five women and a hamster in our group. Why can’t we all get married together?

    We have rights too but are being discriminated against.

  43. 43
    Gonk says:

    He did the servile toady bit quite well I thought. We ought to be thankful
    he didn’t check out his prostate and evacuate his bowels all over the table
    as GB regularly did when under pressure.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    That muzzie MSP Hamiz Karzai was a real hoot.

  45. 45
    Polly Seewonk says:

    Giving or taking?

  46. 46
    Gonk says:

    I sleep with my dog. It’s a beautiful thing.

  47. 47
    binqu says:


    Paul Richards once thought it really cool to label as “a spiritual Nazi” a leader of the opposition who happened to be Jewish. Oddly enough, he hasn’t (yet) tried the same gag on Ed Miliband.

    btw Guido, where are my earlier comments concerning the political history of one Mr Paul Richards. There was nothing libellous there. Or have you outsourced your moderatin’ to the fabians?

  48. 48
    Polly Seewonk says:

    Hamsters can’t say ‘I do’.

    Instead, why not try a parrot along with Gordon Brown, then you’ll have an exotic bird with a tight little c…

  49. 49
    Polly Seewonk says:

    Maybe his wife won’t let him – I can see a possibility for a low-premium high-payout life insurance policy with a ‘mandatory 5 roller-skates lying around the house’ clause.

  50. 50
    Ed millibandwagon here OK says:

    I’m just so “down with the kids” you don’t get it
    P.S. hey kids ,give me a job I’ll give you a job ,wot everrrrrrr

  51. 51

    Who will carry my bags ??

  52. 52

    Of course they can say I do.

    You simply have not bothered to learn the language.

  53. 53
    rachel reeves says:

    dont forget me

  54. 54
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Just our luck!

    Wrong one.

  55. 55
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    She can walk, cant she?

  56. 56
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Mornin mate ! No i’ve given up on politics
    Call meDdave is just as useless as the other lot !

  57. 57

    20° and sunny here.

    No Brown clouds but we do need some water for the vines.

  58. 58

    I understand about giving up politics.

    Have you ever thought of taking up sex instead? ;-)

    You still get fucked but it feels much better…

  59. 59
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will buy Glasgow Rangers Football Club. It is the right thing to for the hard working people of Britain. The Tories are the ‘do nothing’ party

  60. 60
    Hope over Reality says:

    How about

    Certain British Left Wing politicians refuse to receive payouts from the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Propaganda Unit

  61. 61
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’m surprised you didnt just eat her.

  62. 62

    His constituents are largely mongols.

    If you posted £1,000 though each of their letter boxes each morning, they would still complain. They are beyond hope.

    And to think that the socialists used to believe in eugenics.

  63. 63

    I only like eating females. ;-)

  64. 64
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    I would like to see the headline “Gordon Brown found guilty of treason.”

  65. 65

    Judge dons his black cap… etc.

  66. 66
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    I’ve already said on this blog that you deserve a good spanking forgetting so uppity.

  67. 67

    Full version: The judge dons his black cap and utters the words You shall be taken to the place from whence you came, and thence to a place of lawful execution, and there you shall be hanged by the neck until you be dead, and afterwards your body shall be buried in a common grave within the precincts of the prison wherein you were last confined before your execution, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul – nah, forget that last bit – fuck him…

  68. 68
    Great British Public says:

    Yes, you could add that to your collection of other brilliant investments on behalf the hard working people of Britain such as Royal Bank of Scotland, Northern Rock and HBOS.

  69. 69

    Perhaps the other Gordon Brown can be persuaded by his Fife constituents to accept the Steward and Bailiff’s job for the Manor of Northstead; it’ll be less of a commute.

    However, his spokesman says “He is just getting on with the job (of trying to be as rich as Mandy and Tony)”

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Yuk, you disgusting little man.

  71. 71
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Got me hook line and sinker.

    If only the bong eyed twat of a n,once had any decency, he would resign.

    Sadly he is a parasitic teet sucking lazy tvvat ponging of the innocent hard working tax payer.

  72. 72
    Q says:

    Will you be using the monies from pensions or the gold reserve to fund this?
    You could always do a PFI and pay 30x the going rate over 25 years of course.

  73. 73
    The Burnistoun Botcher says:

    I’m the only botcher on here.

  74. 74
    Hoots mon says:

    You could emulate your political career of late, by just buying a box and never turning up for the matches.

  75. 75
    Trev says:

    So not fair Guido!

  76. 76
    M says:

    Now rangers are truly finished

  77. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    You have to feel sorry for the poor councillor. As if living in or near Cannock and having goofy teeth weren’t sufficient burdens.

  78. 78
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Such a jape! In a similar vein I find it highly amusing that David Cameron (no – not that one) is Chief Security Officer at International SOS (check Linkedin if you do not believe).

  79. 79
    Ed Miliband says:

    I get many of my best ideas from hamsters. What’s that you say, Poppy Pouchface?

  80. 80
    Chris lowe's hamster. says:

    Its not a sin.

  81. 81
    Viz Top Tip says:

    Workers – Emulate Gordon Brown by simply not turning up for work, while expecting to be paid.

  82. 82
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I think a lamp post and piano wire is much more effective. And much cheaper.

    Just hang him up there and let him rot!

  83. 83
    Some Geezer wot says "We can dream, can't we?" says:

    Of course, if he were from Portsmouth, the more famous Mr. Brown could be both a Councillor AND MP. And show up for neither, in his case.

  84. 84
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Can you explain to me the obsession with piano wire? It does get mentioned rather frequently. I ask because the piano strings I have seen are rather fine (except the multiple bass “wires”) and I presume the effect of using them as a hanging rope would resemble the effect of a cheese board wire on a lump of cheese.

  85. 85
    Schrödinger's Orange Tree says:

    Hanging, drawing and quartering would fit the crimes. Wonder what he would call out at the moment of greatest agony?

    Probably, “Slavery!”

  86. 86
    Schrödinger's Orange Tree says:

    There’s no need to reinvent “Breaking on the Wheel”.

  87. 87
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    I am a great fan of Gordon Brown, he attended a Portsmouth Businessman of the year dinner in Portsmouth for one of my ‘boys,’ when he was Chancellor and Fred Goodwin came along with him. Fred provided the loans for my ‘boys’ to do all the development for the asylum seekers we take in. By the way, I am still doing my best for the UK, evidenced here:


  88. 88
    Darcus Howe says:

    Including black people like the guy who was shot in August and people protested by obtaining free goods from shops?

  89. 89
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Not convinced by this.
    Probably better to let him live and see how he is held in such contempt and how the history books label him the worst Chancellor zand Prime Minister in recent times.

  90. 90
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    A certain type of politician (most of them) simply won’t resign. Think of the Larry Craig episode in the US. The police were trolling for homosexuals at an airport washroom with a bad reputation. Larry Craig, congressman for Idaho gets caught. He just denies it…the infamous “I have a wide stance” becomes a national joke.

    Politicians are shameless, they can not be embarrassed. He finally did resign, but made out like he was the aggrieved party.

  91. 91
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Cat, not man.

  92. 92

    One might be forgiven for thinking that Anonymong must be the immaculate conception.

  93. 93
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    I like my hamsters grilled with a dash of salt and mixed herbs…

  94. 94

    You bast*rd Guido, for one brief moment I was ecstatic!

  95. 95
    Lickity-Split says:

    You bastard Guido! I’ve just blown 500 on bubbly as a result of reading your headline!

  96. 96
    Kirsten Imrie says:

    Shame. He is the best racing commentator.

  97. 97
    Gordon Brown (the original) says:

    Today, I am going to be a tree.

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