March 14th, 2012

Labour HQ has ‘Lowest Morale in 20 Years’

Earlier Dan Hodges reported:

On Monday a meeting was held at Labour’s soon-to-be-vacated Victoria Street headquarters to which staff were informed of the latest stage of the party’s internal reorganisation. Descriptions of the event range from “disaster”, through “multi-lane pile-up”, to “carnage”. “I’ve never in all my life seen anything like it,” said one shocked observer. “Normally people are quite restrained. But it all came pouring out”.

Patrick Wintour also wrote up the disaster in the Guardian, calling it “stormy”. Guido had the leaked names of the new Directors of the Party last Friday and this went down very badly. Now it is clear why: the Party machine are not on board with the changes. According to one source in the room, Simon Jackson, whose policy role has been filled by Torsten Henricson-Bell took the invitation to “speak frankly” very literally:

“If you think that our problems are structural or organisational then you are kidding yourselves… If you think we are somehow divorced from the politics then you are being ridiculous…”

Cue much clapping from the staff. Another disgruntled staffer pointed Guido to the words of Hilary Perrin, a party figure for some two decades, who apparently claimed that in all her time in the party she had never known morale so low.

General Secretary Iain McNicol was apparently very apologetic that the news of the new directors had leaked before the announcement. He also said that no one was being sacked, but then in David Brent style, he could not promise that there would not be redundancies. Ed’s new Chief of Staff Tim Livesy gave the staff an ungodly dressing down for leaking to Guido: “this is not transparency, this is a breach of trust… this is a test.” A test he clearly failed given that the whole thing leaked in less than 24 hours…


  1. 1
    Lee says:

    Ouch, but are we suprised?

  2. 2
    Jimmy says:

    Were you going for “morals” or “morale” there?

    Literacay levels plummeting after only 18moths of Tory government.

  3. 3
    Jimmy says:

    Oops. “Months”

  4. 4
    Q says:

    More leeks than the Welsh

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Still, at least Ed is distancing himself from Ken

  6. 6
    Will.I.Am.Not says:

    Maybe a David Brent style dance would have lightened the mood

  7. 7
    Watney's says:

    We invited the Labour Party for a tour, but so far we haven’t heard back.

  8. 8
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Labour has no money, morale is low and people are being “made redundant”.

    Welcome to our world!

  9. 9
    Raving Loon says:

    Almost and painful to watch as Gordon Brown.


  10. 10
    Joe says:


  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Were you going for literacy and months there?

  12. 12
    George Seagull says:

    What a load of wasters

  13. 13
    must try harder says:


  14. 14
  15. 15
    What's Left? says:

    If only this was reflected in the opinion polls.

    UK est figures for mental health issues = 1 in 4 of population, which might account for it plus Scotland & the Blair-Brown huge client state.

    What is most chilling is that Livingstone might seize control of Londonistan with a little help from Tower Hamlets.

    Check out the agency helping him: BETC – a French owned operation. Interesting…..

  16. 16
    Joe says:

    Where you going for a reply to Jimmy there?

  17. 17
    Brent says:

    Age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.

  18. 18
    Raving Loon says:

    The memories are still painful…

  19. 19
    This would be the same Somalia that's been blighted by its own civil wars and massacres without any need for outside intrusion says:

  20. 20
    Why should we care? says:

    And we should give a shit. Why?

  21. 21
    Harpicked says:

    Clegg did a sterling job today, at times even more effective and ferocious than Cameron. Harpic was even more appalling than usual, reeling off awful scripted jokes.

  22. 22
    Tracker says:

    I see the agency pulled in elderly Rent-A-Trannie Izzard to pitch for the Livingstone campaign……

    That’s clearly gonna bring back the gay vote, angry at Ken’s behaviour…….Errr nope

  23. 23
    Fish says:

    Just watching Cameron and Obama on the South Lawn and a nightmare vision flashed across my mind.

    Would be PM Miliband stood there amongst the pomp and ceremony; ‘…thank you Mithter Prethident…’

    Urrrgh! Time for a stiff drink.

  24. 24
    Clifton Fields says:

    Hoist by your own petard there, Jimmy. Educated under Labour perhaps?

  25. 25
    Clifton Fields says:

    Nobody takes McIntyre seriously. He’s got a girl’s first name for starters. Alas, Twitter and blogging are his only outlets these days since the Indescribablyboring gave him the push for egging on last summer’s rioters. Why he hasn’t been nicked for incitement I do not know.

  26. 26
    Ed Miliband says:

    I did not lie about being thick. I was too thick to attend the NHTH rally on Thaturday. The picture of me getting out of a Rollth Royth to go to a Hull football match wath a computer generated fake. I wath at home rethting. I have a note from my doctor proving I wath very thick.

  27. 27

    Strategically, the only way that Labour can ever win any election is via their client groups and electoral irregularity coupled with skewed constituency boundaries.

    The very thing that they were justifiably accused of in every previous period in government, incompetence and running out of money, which Brown falsely and frequently claimed to have abolished, happened last time on a hitherto unprecedented scale.

    Add to that the fraudulent treatment of expenses by a greater number in their ranks than other parties and, to any thinking voter, they are a dead duck.

    No wonder they are downcast. They need to restart from the Keir Hardy/Ramsay MacDonald stage but recognise the ways in which the world has changed since that time. Of course they won’t, so they are in terminal decline land.

  28. 28
    ha says:

  29. 29
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m still important!

  30. 30
    Sunny Huhne-dail says:

  31. 31
    Phil says:

    No I think he meant moths – probably something got up his nose!

  32. 32
    Sunny Huhne-dail says:

    sunny hundal ‏ @sunny_hundal


    Interpid “reporter” Guido Fawkes attacks and shoves journalists trying to disrupt Ken event

  33. 33
    Tony Bliar didnt fool me says:

    Oops dumb twat…

  34. 34
    Tony Bliar didnt fool me says:

    Yeah but the bastards that caused it are all sitting pretty……..

  35. 35
    EDl says:

    Yeth but the beeb will still thay thath on balanth I wath the winner

  36. 36

    And how are your mothematics, Jimmy?

  37. 37

    Jimmy walks into a doctor’s office and said, “I think I’m a moth”. The doctor responds, “I think you want the psychiatrist’s office just down the hall”. Jimmy replies, “I was on my way there but I noticed your light was on”.

  38. 38
    AC1 says:

    Massive increases in debt volume are needed to paper over the cracks caused by taxation of transfers. Since envy based taxes are the core of Labour’s “brand” I can only suggest the best idea for Labour would be to disband.

  39. 39
    Splodge says:

    Why would a hetro tranny bring back the gay vote?

  40. 40
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I wondered about that. at 8 seconds in the chicken barges past the blonde woman. I thought she might be standing in the way to protect ken or something. So she was just a journalist trying to interview?

  41. 41
    Socialism is the Enemy of Freedom says:

    I see that Miliband joined Gizzard the Lizard today at London Bridge, set up by the ad men.

    I loathe Tonge but at least Cowardly Clegg had the guts to push her out of his Party, for saying far less noxious stuff than Livingstone………

  42. 42
    AC1 says:


    I sympathise. Evry post corecting ah spelin misteak seemz to tern of ther branes abilytee two doo gramer, speling and yuz ther rite homophone.

  43. 43
    Tracker says:

    Don’t ask me, ask the Living Stones

  44. 44
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Nicely done SC ;)

  45. 45
    AC1 says:

    I’m not sure watching The Office leaves you and your children and their children over-drawn by about 20 grand.

  46. 46
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    You wouldn’t employ a hairdresser to fix your electrics, so why politicians think they can tell jokes is beyond me.

  47. 47
    Some Geezer wot's never surprised if Labour are in disarray says:

    Labour, as an idea, is always at odds with itself– it is the Party of the workers and the shirkers. It always has to put on a different face to different parts of the electorate. It astounds me that they are ever able to keep it all straight (and keep a straight face doing it). While all political movements are bound to have dissidents of the go-faster/slower-than-the-Party’s-stated-position variety, and a lot of these conflicts take place intramurally, Labour, by their nature as a composite of disparate elements engaging in identity politics, invite this sort of tension to erupt publicly simply by coming out for one thing for one group and another for another. It can only be the prospect of power for its own sake that can be the motivation for anyone to engage seriously in Labour qua political party. Ayn Rand (go ahead, make all the jokes) had it about right when she said that anyone who believes the State should be in control of any aspect of its citizenry’s lives beyond punishing force and fraud either is, or desperately wants to be, the State.

  48. 48
    AC1 says:

    >Clegg did a sterling job today, at times even more effective and ferocious than Cameron

    Damning with faint praise?

  49. 49
    What's Left? says:

    Mr Cat

    Great post but wishful thinking. Boris Pecker has thrown away his poll lead and nationally no one wants to give up the subsidised perks so carefully crafted by Gordon.

  50. 50
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    I thought he got tie wrapped to his wheel chair?

  51. 51
    who why what where when says:

    So will tonight’s tv news cover Millibland and Izzard at a boring irrelevant photo-op or Livingstone being humiliated by a chicken?
    Sadly I think we all know the answer.

  52. 52
    Just A Thought says:

    Isn’t that a picture of the BBC News Room?

  53. 53
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    It might not do Izzard much good either.

  54. 54
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Another leftie with ‘shpellin’ problems…

  55. 55
    nellnewman says:

    You can’t make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear.

    militwit is a pig’s ear.

    Change all the background staff and arrangements they like – it wont make militwit & balls et al any more electable.

  56. 56
    must try harder says:

    Oops- I think you mean intrepid?
    Spelling obviously a problem as well as accuracy.

  57. 57
    EdButLookBalls says:

    The crop of chicKEN’s gIZZARD!!

  58. 58
    Mare of London says:

    The labour grass roots have every right to have low morale.

    Their leadership over the past 15 years has sought to promote their own interests and line their own pockets in true Champagne Sociopath style and has left the very people they are supposed to represent worse off and in deeper debt.

    Look at Harman at the despatch box today; there is no remorse or even acknowledgement that they are responsible for the coalition having to borrow £212 million a day just to keep the country afloat, despite all the cuts.

    We need responsible, effective opposition and the current Labour Front Bench are not fit for purpose and their own staff know it, even if the shadow cabinet don’t.

  59. 59
    Widescreen2010 says:

    It is no point moping about with ‘low morale’.
    After seeing your political party lumber the country with unimaginable debt and become unelectable for approximately ever, GO.
    Give up working for Labour and get a proper job.

  60. 60
    Bill Quango mp says:

    In a Labour Office in Slough.

    Iain McNicol “so the party is doing really,really,really well..yeah? And, well, it’s done so well that we are EXPANDING, yeah, into new offices that are a bit smaller”

    Isn’t that a bit dumb?

    Iain: No. It’s simple, see. If you are growing then you need to shed you’re old clothes, yeah? Because they won’t fit,right? And then you need to strip down, naked, absolutely starkers because even ,huh huh, you’re pants don’t fit? So I need you all to get naked, with me right now. Not , actually now, but in a sense of… Of ..nudeness, ok?
    But not you Islamic women because you’re all a bit..I ..don’t get me wrong..I love Islam and …and ..shouting intolerance and erm..look..I’ve even got a mohammmmmm erm, not that I’m trying to say I’m God..but erm..

    (fortunately he is saved further embarrassment when Gareth Miliband rushes up to complain about someone putting his iPod inside a jelly)

  61. 61
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I don’t think they care at all. Ed is leader, and Balls wants to be the next leader, but Yvette is in the running too.

    It’s a poisoned chalice.

  62. 62
    Ed squared says:

    Looks like the historic back office politics/backbiting of the 2 Ed’s knows no bounds.

    F’ing Weasels

  63. 63
    Customer says:

    Hey, mate?
    It was pump number 5. And a bottle of screen wash.

  64. 64
    Camra man says:

    Watneys are no more, thank God.

  65. 65
    General Secretary Iain McNicol says:

    Listen up guys we have got to get our marketing sh1t together so from now on we will be using Gillette’s playbook as they have been successful.,11056/

  66. 66
    Sky's Peter Poofter says:

    I’d like a threesome with Izzard and Balls …. yummy!

  67. 67
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Perhaps not. But it’s about as funny as Harperson’s scripted jokes.

  68. 68
    Cynical-old-bag says:


    Fill your boots!

  69. 69
    Red Ken bribing the electorate with their own money again says:

    • I will cut the fares by 7 per cent this year – saving the average Londoner £1,000 over four years

    • I will reverse Boris Johnson’s police cuts and restore local sergeants

    • I will help reduce rents, improve homes with a London non-profit lettings agency

    • I will tackle heating bills – through insulation and an energy co-op to reduce prices and help households save over £150 a year

    • I will introduce a London EMA of up to £30 a week to help young
    people stay in education

    • I will introduce support for childcare with grants and interest-free loans – and campaign against Tory cuts to childcare tax credits

  70. 70
    Lord Stansted says:

    “We have a tight comments policy aimed at fostering constructive debate.
    We believe in free speech but not your right to abuse our space. ”

    The Liberal Conspiracy obviously doesn’t like it up ‘em.

  71. 71
    Lord Wayne of Trombone says:

    and people say the Labour rag The Guardian avoided paying enough tax in UK – enough to buy a hospital

    does anyone know if this is true?
    Seems hypocritical !!

  72. 72
    Just A Thought says:

    Hey Jimmy

    Yer from Glasgie are yeh laddie? No wonder youse cannot spell either literacy or months – but youse enjoyed your educashun under the Blair Witch Project nae doubt

  73. 73
    Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

    Well Jimmy

    I am proud of you….well done…A*plus for educashun, educashun, educashun

  74. 74
    Jimmy Crankey says:


  75. 75
    My evil twin is back says:


  76. 76
    Terry Wogan says:

    Nearly half of India’s 1.2bn people have no toilet at home, but more people own a mobile phone, according to the latest census data.

    Let’s have a “Toilet Nose Day “

  77. 77
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    And this large group came from where?

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    “Thanh huuuuu pwedithent womnee”

  79. 79
    Fish says:

    Why were the journalists trying to disrupt the Ken event? Quick, call Leveson

  80. 80
    JH says:

    Cerebal Palsy, be strong in the face of Jody McIntyre.

  81. 81
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    *Ken* ……..And all the while I’ll be raking it in.

  82. 82
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    It’s all about priorities. :0)

  83. 83
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    They know how to prioritise, though. :0)

  84. 84
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Mare: you are right. No remorse whatsoever from Harman. Shame on her.

  85. 85
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:


  86. 86
    just saying says:

    McCluskey’s back pocket?

  87. 87
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Is Red Ed moonlighting on the American tv show “Everyone Likes Ray?”

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    That’ll be the new iPlug* feature.

    *iLube sold separately

  89. 89
    Jack Dromey (Miss) says:

    We girls must stick together. Just lie and think of England.

  90. 90
    81IIy 8owden i5 7he gre@test ump1re ever ! says:

    I have had some pretty bad days myself when the fakes have got to me, and when Guido told me that it is quality and not quantity that counts.

  91. 91
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    How about an Ed’s Nose Day?

  92. 92
    Blair Rich Project says:

    Cameron didn’t look half as good as me when I was on that lawn. Can’t stop -off to make some money!

  93. 93
    Andrew says:

    Nobody is being sacked but there could be redundancies.

    As the Bard put it: Very tragical mirth.

  94. 94
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Listening to Harriet Harman at PMQ’s today explains why labour are in such a mess. If labour think or say otherwise then they are kidding themselves.

  95. 95
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Don’t know? Red Barrel = Tom Watson !

  96. 96
    GlobalGaz says:

    Labour has no morale and is prepared to lower them…hang on, wasn’t that morals?

  97. 97
    Por Bloody Taxpayer says:

    The Labour Party. Scum sinking to the bottom.

  98. 98
    Ron Hayward says:

    Iain McNicol is 3/1 fav in the 2.30pm at Cheltenham

  99. 99
    Bumblesnitch says:

    Labour’s IQ?

  100. 100
    Polly Seewonk says:

    “Labour HQ has ‘Lowest Morale in 20 Years’”

    because Labour leaders have lowest morals in 20 years?

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