March 14th, 2012

Better Off

Given the unexpected visitor at Ken’s latest pledge launch this morning, feathers seem ruffled and people are certainly not talking about Ken’s latest magical money promises. Which is just as well given that they are either outside of the Mayor’s purview or outside of London’s budget.

Boris launched his new “Better Off With Boris” logo with it adorning his Progress Report at Mayors Question Time this morning. Ken copied it with a “Better of with Ken” logo which looks remarkably similar. Alas Team Ken in their hurry to cobble it  together forgot to register now links to the website. Another fine mess…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:



  2. 2
    Not Ken Again says:

    Back Boris!

    Not Ken again!


    • 22
      taC eht abbaJ says:

      “ now links to the website”

      Lol…that is priceless, and a stroke of genius.


    • 23
      What's Left? says:

      Check out the advertising agency behind Ken

      Ask too who is paying for his campaign

      There lurks interesting things……


      • 25
        Homeland says:

        Over 4000 people “like” Ken on his website…………..that’ll be four people x 1000 in Tower Hamlets?


        • 40
          Desperately seeking attention says:

          All our wives vote for Ken. And our children. And our relatives in Kazakhstan and Bangladesh also vote for Ken.

          This democracy is a wonderful thing.


          • Desperately seeking Sue says:

            Who’s idea was that?
            Getting a load of bigotry immigrants in and gaining all their votes.

            Actually, that was quite a good idea.


  3. 3
    Tachybaptus says:

    Registering URLs is clearly beyond his ken.


  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Bugger off ken


  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m hiding in the kitchen of the White House, waiting for the right moment to jump out and surprise my friend President Obama. I look forward to having my photo taken with him.


  6. 6
    Infamy says:


    • 13
      Prince Jughead says:

      Ma-mah definitely knows who Ed Miliband is; why, only last week she said, “One hopes one doesn’t live long enough for that silly man ever to become Prime Minister in her lifetime; we would most assuredly not be amused!”


    • 17
      Jeremy Clarkson says:


      He, like you and Guido, is a strong Monarchist

      He loves Rolls Royces as well

      He is just waiting to be able to pay for his own Rolls you understand, like his mentor Mandelson of the same Ilk


  7. 7
    The Edinburgh dogshite are not even useful idiots says:

    Stick Ken in a Hoody and give him extra pocket money that should up his street cred! Yawn


  8. 8
    James Murdoch says:

    Of dear Guido

    One of your favourites who I know tou like citing has been arrested for allegedly “threatening a witness”…he ahs already been arrested once on other Rebekkah and Co

    Of this is not part of your gossip column despite the fact that you refer to him regularly ?!


    • 12
      Jack says:

      Guido is only interested, perhaps, if they are convicted…

      Until futher notice, all attention here will be focused on the Mirror Associated Newspapers etc and the Murdock disclaimers of any responsibility…


    • 14
      I can't write coherently or understand the news says:

      ?! Oh dear.


  9. 10
    Racked off says:

    Ken’s looks like the comic relief red nose, which is rather apt for his campaign.


  10. 11
    Fish says:

    Ever seen Ken and Putin in the same room? Thinking back to those uncanny photos GF posted yesterday – it seems that even Ken’s thugs look familiar.


  11. 15
    creamy custard says:

    Better off with Boris is more alliterative.


  12. 16
    Not Ken Again says:


  13. 24
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Poor Nick Robinson, did you see him on the news? He looked like someone had shot his dog.

    Obama likes Cameron, poor Nick, as Obama hated his best friend Gordon McBust.

    Be honest would you like a one eyed gay barking mad scotsman who chased you around a kitchen for half the night?


    • 30
      Gordim Broon says:

      That’s a lie.
      Anyway, I dumped him!


    • 32
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Nick Robinson bitterness stems from his union days at Oxford. I’m afraid Cameron has done so much better than you Nick, get over it otherwise it will destroy you. Siding with labour will not help either.


      • 35
        ITV producer says:

        Toenails need a face lift, re-look and hair transplant

        Specs need improving as well

        Then he might be presentable

        Until then, like all losers, he will side with the mad, unwashed underdogs


        • 45
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          Forget the facelift, re-look, hair transplant and the specs.

          Just replace him!


          • Ichabod says:

            I can’t stand the way that at the end of the Today circa 8.10 interview, they wheel on poor deluded Nick Robinson to utter his vacuous summaries on the discussion just ended–he is treated, and regards himself, as the fount of all political wisdom, the sole discerner of the real message being conveyed, the only commentator capable of explaining to us intellectual proles the true significance of what we have just heard….when really Robinson is a ludricously overrated hack whose conclusions are two penny ordinary at best and flatulent at worst. And anyway, it seems sort of sneaky of robinson and the BBC to offer an immediate evaluation of a no doubt pungent enquiry.


          • "Toenails" Is NOT Phil Silvers' Illegitimate Son says:

            Let’s bring in the actor who played the Emergency Medical Hologram on Star Trek Voyager (Robert Picardo) for a week, and see if people notice. Sadly for Nicky-Boy, he may prove more popular:


    • 49
      Fish says:

      I think it’s because Camereon ignored him at the joint press conference, favouring Q’s from Sky and ITN.

      It looked like a pointed snub for the BBC


      • 82
        AC1 says:

        They deserve it…

        First move after the election should’ve been ending the TV-tax.


        • 90


  14. 26
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Cuckoo Ken Livingstone.


  15. 27
    Muslim wanker forging Ken votes in Brick Lane says:

    Allah Ackbar Ken the infidel jew hater will win.


  16. 33
    I am not a charity for the BBC's Scrounging Celebrities R US says:

    Time for the BBC to be ripped a brand new one. Spineless Hoons. Not good sport!


    • 37
      BBC producer says:

      We cannot be touched

      We have a huge immovable bureaucracy with billions to spend on defending ourselves…using rthe usual bent PR people and solicitors…(like the oligarchs)

      We are the State within the State

      The only thing that worries me is talk of breaking us up and selling off the bits…

      That would finally do us in…


      • 46
        Well it's a thought says:

        Mrs Thatcher gave you the hint when she flogged off your transmitters, you took no notice, time for Comoron to flog of your library and your BBC World enterprises which is already a private business and also redo the licensing requirements maybe like changing it to , you only need a license to receive BBC tv channels , time for Camoron to get rid of that yellow streak and give the people something to laugh about, the BBC haven’t done that for a long time.


        • 51
          Bbc or NBC says:

          You’ve had Kevin Bishop,Michael Macintyre, Sarah millican and Miranda Hart!
          We’re giving you 30 hours a week of each! What more do you want?


          • Well it's a thought says:

            Oh I didn’t realise they were comedians, I thought they were ex out of touch dropouts from a Shakespe are an play that had been put out at about 3am one high summers evening.


          • Ichabod says:

            oh at least 60 hours of Stephen Fry. We must have our daily dose of Stephen Fry–its in the BBC’s charter.


        • 66
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          It’s all Thatcher’s fault, isn’t it.

          Might have guessed.


          • Some Geezer wot's equally cynical says:

            No, no, it’s: “S’all Fatcha’s fault, innit?” You’re showing your age.


        • 67
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          Errrr. No mention of Gordon flogging off all our gold reserves, then??????

          Guess not.


  17. 38
    Gay Trevor says:

    Ken is better off in Kentucky!
    Ken is a Hunt!


  18. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    will I turn into a monkey if I ride Mr Peter’s monkey bike?


  19. 41
    Cara Confused says:

    Ken has asked me to join his Mayoral team, in view of my ability to produce piles of gold coins from under my skirt.


  20. 42
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    LOL. It doesn’t get better than this, does it!

    I’ll bet the air is blue at Ken’s house tonight. :0))))))))))))


  21. 43
    Ken Livingstone says:

    Dear Lutfur,

    Just a quick update on what we discussed regarding the voting in Tower Hamlets. Unfortunately the 10 votes per household you suggested may not be enough now. Due to certain outrageous Tory smears about my tax affairs, the expected close contest is no longer as likely. This week’s New Statesman headline “Don’t vote for the tax dodging bastard” is not a good sign. So could you possibly raise the numbers a little – say 150 votes per household? I think we might still get away with it if we play the race card to any objectors.

    Also, could you maybe help spread a few more rumours around the mosques about Boris? Here are some ideas my team has come up with:

    (1) Boris to appoint Salman Rushdie deputy mayor
    (2) Boris to re-name pork sausages “Mohammeds”
    (3) Boris to take London out of UK and make it part of Israel

    Please amend as necessary as I’m not sure how gullible your supporters are. Are they as dumb as mine? I have committed Marxists tweeting that using a dummy corporation to halve your tax bill is perfectly legitimate.

    Anyway, all the best. Don’t forget those who helped put you where you are. I hope the Caliphate is coming along well.

    Kind regards,


    PS – Any luck getting Hezbollah to agree to blow up Andrew Gilligan? Would be ever so grateful.


    • 50
      Sh'irt Lufter says:

      Most gracious and divine friend Ken,
      It is of no bother to have 150 votes a room if you desire. I owe you an election victory.
      Please deliver a lorry load of postal voting forms to my office and I will have them done by tomorrow.

      May fortune favour you and all your businesses.


    • 86
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Ha ha! Brilliant.


  22. 48
    Gay Trevor says:

    London is Kinkier with Ken.
    London Kills Kenny!
    Krazy Ken.
    Red all over Ken!
    Kenny Krankie’s love chid is Jimmy Krankie.
    Kroak with Ken!
    Ken is a Koala Bear!
    Ken the Red Knight/Kite
    Ken is a Hunt!
    London kips with Ken.
    Kens Fuck All.
    It’s really hard to get a catchy slogan/log for the name Ken!


  23. 53
    Gay Trevor says:

    I-ran is better off with Ken.


  24. 54
    Gay Pride says:

    Kenny Rogers London


  25. 55
    Ed Miliband says:

    Vote for Boris!


  26. 57
    Less Gay Pride says:

    Karry on Kamping with Ken!


  27. 59
    nellnewman says:

    With all this money ken is getting from his I r a n tv work he ought to be able to buy better pr people than this!!


  28. 60
    Ken U Kunt says:

    Ken’s tax Kuts kills his kareer!


  29. 61
    Kreepy Ken says:

    London is Krap with Ken


  30. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    can genital piercing incorporate horse brasses?


  31. 64
    Krackerjack says:

    London Kudos with Ken.
    Ken’s PR team is Krap!


  32. 65

    London Mayoral Election 2012 Results:

    Boris Johnson 1,407,828
    Ken Livingstone 29,243,017
    Thingy Paddick 3


  33. 68
    Ken's Kluedo says:

    London can bugger off with Ken


  34. 71
    Jimmy says:

    Why does Boris have all the things he’s against on his badge?


  35. 72
    Jimmy in his Jammies says:

    Ken is kool Britannia. Arf! Arf!


  36. 73
    Tom Tomos says:

    Guido, thought your behaviour was a bit boorish this morning. Manners maketh the man and all that.


  37. 77
    Dick W says:

    FFS. No one, I repeat No one outside of London could give a shot who its mayor is. Even the queen of England lives away and only goes there for business reasons.

    It is a third world shot hole.


  38. 83
    Goa’uldman Sucks says:

    Just give us yer fucking money, yer muppets.


  39. 84
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ken Livingstone should ask Diane Abbot to be his campaign manager.


  40. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Better off with Yen


  41. 87
    Samuel Peeps says:

    I see london is still a shit hole then.


  42. 88
    Dave says:

    My big society is gayer betrothing gayer and gayess betrothing gayess


  43. 89
    John says:

    Why does Red Ken work for Iranian state TV and avoid paying UK taxes?


  44. 91
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Did you know that an anagram of “betteroffwithken is WORK BENEFIT THEFT.


  45. 92
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Ed Balls just made a twat of himself on Newsnight….again


    • 95
      Red on Ed says:

      Red Ed’s people seen to have silenced bollock Ed of late. Which is a massive mistake (for Labour) as Ed Balls is probably the most effective MP that Labour have at present.


    • 97
      Fish says:

      + Lots and lots.

      Completely incoherent, contradicting himself and totally vacuous. Added to which he’s a patronising, Capital Gains Tax dodging (with his wife), nasty piece of work.


  46. 93
    WMD Hunter says:

    Make no mistake. The renewing of the special relationship is the start of a new campaign to bomb/attack Iran.

    We’ve been there before..Remember?

    Not that it is necessarily a bad thing in this instance.


  47. 99
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:


  48. 101
    hladavies says:

    Linking to Not Ken Again is absolute genius!


  49. 104

    From the Jewish Chronicle noted by Guido in his press links (box at top right)

    Challenged on his decision to take money from the Iranian state broadcaster Press TV, Mr Livingstone said it was important for him to get his views across to the Iranian people. He said his role at Press TV was equivalent to the one he once held as a columnist at the Sun.

    I can sort of see why a London politician might think it important to spread his version of the truth to readers of the Sun, it is a British newspaper after all, and one can only presume at least some of its readers are also British. But why on earth is it important for him to inflict his views on the poor old Iranians?

    Clearly the chap is going bonkers.

    Unless he’s telling porkies and he really took the Press TV gig just for the cash, of course.


  50. 105
    Felicity Kendal Mint Fake says:

    I guess with the voting intentions being roughly 50/50 fro Boris/ken you have to pull out all the stops in your bid to get Boris re-elected. Wonder what is in it for old Guido????


  51. 109
    Peter says:

    I prefer this video – The overwight guy whoever he is sounds like a right yobbo screaming Hunt at people.


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