March 12th, 2012

Ken Does a Putin


Ken seems to have lost the shirt from his back. It certainly won’t be found at HMRC. Guido does wonder whether the struggling Labour candidate tipped the Sun to his little topless gardening session. Expect pictures of him fishing and fighting bears before the end.


  1. 1
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    If Boris appeared like this you would question whose wife lived in the house in the background.


  2. 2
    dont do it!!! says:

    That is fucking rank!


    • 11
      Chuckus Yamoney says:

      looks more like paul daniels


    • 14
      Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

      Typical lizard. No wonder the Power thing is so important for a fu-k


    • 15
      • 55
        Capitalism is the enemy says:

        AC1 wrote:

        “Government decides on the volume of credit, banks just allocate it”

        No they don’t you fuckwit do some fucking homework before you type your drivel on here.


    • 19
      ashamed to be named says:

      Why is his wife called Emma Beal?

      It seems to be a lefty thing for spouses to have individual names.

      Yvette Cooper and Ed Balls
      Harriet Harman and Jack Dromey
      Jackie Ashley and Andrew Marr
      Tessa Jowell and David Mills
      Polly Toynbee and David Walker
      Evgeny Lebedev and Chritopher Bryant

      The list is endless


      • 24
        Steve Miliband says:

        Justine Thornton and Ed something or other

        Tony Blair is married to ‘Money’


        • 35
          Gordon Braun says:

          Money Booth As she likes to be known.


        • 38
          Mr and Mrs ? says:

          But Edward Miliband only married Justine Thornton for career reasons, his big brother David’s wife goes under the name of Louise Shackleton. Dave is making a big thing about marrying homosexuals but perhaps he should first start with lefties who want to pretend they are not married and the reasons for it.


          • Mr & Mrs quiz show. says:

            Welcome,Gordon & Sarah.
            First question Gordon. What is Sarah’s favourite flower?

            Who’s Sarah ?

            She’s your wife!

            Who? You mean this dumpy one here?

            Yes! (chuckle chuckle) what a character you are. So, what’s her favourite flower?

            I dunno. Self raising?

            And…let’s go to commercial…


          • Gordon Brown (genius) announcing a noo inishtif says:

            Having saved the world, I shall now save Africa by launching a giant Ground Nut Scheme.


          • Clement Attlee says:

            Got any Snook?


          • Archie says:

            Er, I think that it’s spelled “snoek”!


      • 30
        Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

        Makes you question the relationship, There has to be a few that are suspect for Political purposes as the Hubby hangs around Mens toilets.


      • 87
        Some Geezer wot wonders about some people says:

        And you just know she took stick for that name from the other kids growing up, it being so similar to that of Diana Rigg’s character in the old Avengers series (“Emma Peel”). What kind of parent gives their children names so easily made sport of? Some surnames, as we know, will be made fun of no matter what, as our host will probably attest to, and Ken heard “I presume” in his childhood, surely (I presume!), and short of changing it, one is stuck with a family name, I suppose; but you don’t have to go and invite the little monsters to make fun of your child’s name with an infelicitous Christian name, do you now?


      • 98
        Pundit Too says:

        If they were vying to produce the ugliest offspring then Ashley and Marr would win by a whisker or two.


      • 111
        Henry the Eighth says:

        All my wives carried my name under pain of death … and even then they got whacked.

        But in fairness Yvette Cooper … I mean really ….she’s a gamine little thing as it is …. D’you think she could stand the ribald cross bench repartee a’ la … ” You’re talking Balls Mrs …. “


      • 123
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Julie Kirkbride and Andrew MacKay


    • 52
      A poof says:

      Enough to turn me straight


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    A man as fit as that clearly has no need of glasses.


  4. 4
    Trying to be helpful says:

    Putin’s Dad?


  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    What a horrible little C.U.N.T he is


  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Gardening in braces? I can’t be the only one to find this secretly arousing.


  7. 7
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Not bad at all for an 86 year old.


  8. 8
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    God Almighty! But at least he’s not in his underpants.


  9. 9

    What a horrible little C.U.N.T….


  10. 10
    Raving Loon says:

    The difference being that whilst Putin is a former KGB operative and a 6th Dan in Judo, Ken is just a 6th Dan in grade-A BS.


    • 112
      Another anti-English twat wanting to rub our noses in it says:

      Putin can also speak German fluently, even down to the Berlin accent.

      Livingston alas can only speak bollox.


  11. 12
    C Bryant says:



  12. 13
    Rural Housewife says:

    Not a pretty sight!!


  13. 17
    SpAd says:

    He tipped off The Sun that he was walking round looking like an escaped mental patient? What a media strategy!


  14. 18
    BMI says:

    He looks a lot fitter than you ffs!

    You sad fat media whore hypocrite


  15. 21
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Here’s a tip for you, Ken.

    Next time you’re out shopping for trousers, make sure they fit you before you buy them.


  16. 23
    Gordon F Brown says:

    I think he looks very mayoral. He clearly deserves to win and should be voted for.

    It’s the right thing to do…


    • 48
      Betty Swollocks says:

      I agree with Nick, I get Sweaty sometimes when tidying up the house. Not about my chest though!


  17. 25
    Roger The lodger says:

    If he offers me cash to vote for him I’ll take. It’s what secret ballots are for.


    • 116
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      No you won’t. You are a fictitous character, like the other 37 people in the house.


  18. 26
    Some Geezer wot isn't a Boy Scout by any means says:

    Remember, Ken, leave nothing to chance: in any endeavour, be it a mayoralty race, a tax-avoidance scheme, amphibian husbandry, whatever, always be prepared for all eventualities– have a belt-and-braces strategy!


  19. 29
    Focus Groups-R-Us says:

    Fisting bears? I am not sure the animal rights lobby would approve, but I suppose we’d better put it to the group. I’ll email over an invoice after April 6th.


  20. 32
    Boudicca says:

    He should stick to the strategy of covering things up.


  21. 34
    wanker Gove makes tit of himself to Education Select committee says:

    Q98 Chair: …if “good” requires pupil performance to exceed the national average, and if all schools must be good, how is this mathematically possible?
    Michael Gove: By getting better all the time.
    Q99 Chair: So it is possible, is it?
    Michael Gove: It is possible to get better all the time.
    Q100 Chair: Were you better at literacy than numeracy, Secretary of State?
    Michael Gove: I cannot remember.


  22. 36
    no way? says:


  23. 41
    No pay-wall here says:

    He forgot the knotted hankie on his head


  24. 44
    Gordon Braun says:

    Comrade Ken is a true socialist. He will sit next to me on the podium of the next Presidium of the Supreme Soviet that I am holding in the corner as soon as I can get my arms out of this white jacket that someone has done up very tightly.


  25. 49
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is the plastic bag full of cash?


  26. 50
    Jess The Dog says:

    Lookalike Rab C Nesbitt!


  27. 54
    greg says:

    What a scrawny little tit.


  28. 57
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    That is ridiculous. He could have at least put a string vest under his braces.


    • 117
      Julian de Pouffe-Couturier says:

      Under or over? What is de rigeur this season? That is the central, piquant question in the monde du fashion this year.

      Does one wear the braces over the shirt, as if ready to cast of one’s lower accoutrement in a single, elegant, move when one’s pipi reaches tumescence, or is that too gauche?

      Or does one rather wear the vest over the braces, ready to pull off in a display of hunky rippling manhood as if, albeit metaphorically, one is readying oneself to work up a sweat as a horny-handed son of toil?

      In these difficult times it is reassuring that there are fashion advisers like me ready to give hoi polloi clear sartorial guidance.

      laters, dahhhlings!


  29. 59
    Borisontally Inclined says:

    Oona should try this.


  30. 60
    Raving Loon says:

    Ken, Clegg et all really annoy me by moaning about tax avoidance. It’s LEGAL FFS!


    • 65
      anonymousse says:

      First they came for the people acting legally…



    • 73
      Folded brown envelope says:

      Yes, tax avoidance is legal. The problem is that Ken branded people who avoid tax as “rich bastards” who shouldn’t be allowed to vote – whilst doing it himself.
      It’s his hypocrisy that stinks, not the tax avoidance.


      • 83
        Raving Loon says:

        +1, and also people deliberately muddying the water by making the public thinking that tax avoidance is a crime when it’s not.


  31. 61
    Mzzzz. 'Mad' Hatty HaHaHaPerson and other LieBore Cliterati says:

    Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh – we’re all of a twitch!

    Mr ‘Red’ Ed Millitwat says:

    Tho am I!


  32. 64
    Vince Fable says:

    That picture is hilarious. Why the braces?


    • 69
      Tachybaptus says:

      To spare us the hideous spectacle of what would be revealed if his trousers fell down.


    • 71
      skippy says:

      no braces would mean his hman mask would slip off and he would start eating flies with his chameleon tongue!


  33. 66

    Hey! Hold on!!! Stop!

    He’s got my silverware in that bag!


  34. 68
    dreadful says:

    Is that Rachel reeves a robot?


  35. 72

    Boris Steptoe: Oh my gaw’d. Look at all this junk. The state of this place. It’s a total shambles.

    old man Ken Steptoe: Garnnn..There’s nuffin wrong with this London. Its just a bit dirty, thas all. Anyway..this all very valuable stuff.

    Boris Steptoe:A bit dirty? Its a complete pigsty. Look at this rubbish everywhere. Look at this..A stack of socialist workers papers. Who wants that?

    old man Ken Steptoe:I’m taking them to all the libraries.

    Boris Steptoe:There aren’t any libraries anymore, Ken. we ‘ad to close them all, remember? ‘Coz of all the debt, wot you and your mates left when you was in charge? Gawd, I knew you couldn’t be trusted. £500 million for an Islamic festival of anti-gayness. £200 million for Lee Jasper’s haircuts. It was a dizz-gwace.

    old man Ken Steptoe:You leave Lee out of this. We dun alright. At least I got the buses to run.

    Boris Steptoe:Yes you did, didn’t you. Bent buses. That should have been your slogan. “Bent buses for a bent mayor.”

    They was fine. They only killed a few middle class cyclists. ‘An I introduced the congestion charge. That bought in money for London’s roads.

    Boris Steptoe:And we can all see the improvements there can’t we, you old fool. All the revenue was spent on collecting the bloody revenue. What a stupid idea that was.

    old man Ken Steptoe:Naw it weren’t. It raised money for me and me mates in the zones.

    Boris Steptoe:You can’t see it can you? You can’t see taking money from motorists and business and giving it some lefty town hall to build a stone obelisk to celebrate International bird’s day isn’t a good thing.
    You can’t see it because … you is a ponce!

    old man Ken Steptoe:Yehhhh

    Boris Steptoe:Now gaw on. Take all this old commie crap down the dump..go on..Fill up a few carrier bags with Ken’s broken promises leaflets and sling ‘em in the tip.

    old man Ken Steptoe:I can’t carry all those on me own!

    Boris Steptoe:Well you can take one of my Boris bikes. They’re free to use for OAP scrawnies like you.

    old man Ken Steptoe:I’d rather walk..And so would the comrades of London.

    Boris Steptoe:Well walk then. Shanks orf you moaning old git.
    {Ken leaves with his carrier bag}

    Boris Steptoe: Right..time to sort out this mess. Oh my gawd!..What has that filthy, dhuurty old man done in this tube system?


  36. 82
    Dragons' Den says:

    I’m not going to in vest. I’m oot.


  37. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t you ‘Shop’ those braces into some nice 1980s red ones with gold $ signs?


  38. 85
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    He looks like the bloke who sits outside our local court drinking Special Brew. If Ken set this up himself he must be determined to throw the election away.


  39. 86
    A very british immigrant says:

    If Red is now backing British goods why has he got an East European cleaner and a Spanish car?


  40. 91
    Desperate Dan says:

    If they ever do a remake of Steptoe and Son he’d be a shoe-in for old man Steptoe.


  41. 93
    dai says:

    Some labour shirt lifting PR mong told ken that sex sells


  42. 94
    Fog says:

    double yuk


  43. 96

    Facially, in that pic Ken looks rather like the actor James Bolam, famed for playing a Likely Lad on TV.

    I think, by contrast, Ken is becoming the Unlikely Lad in the mayoral election…


  44. 97
    Maggies Pearl Necklace says:

    I was just about to eat lunch when that appeared on screen, still good for the diet!


  45. 99
    Dixie says:

    Steptoe and Son resurrected by BBC!


  46. 102
    Deep Froat says:

    Welll thats lost him the Gay vote good and proper. Unless they happen to be visually challenged as well as gay…..


  47. 105
    Gay Simon says:

    Ooo! Sssssizzzzle my sausage big boy! Hot!


    • 119
      Fabians are Evil says:

      That is a bloody obvious ‘photoshop’ – Yvette coopers body and ken’s head


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