March 11th, 2012

Buy the Daily Star on Sunday


251 Comments

  1. 1
    Fact check says:

    Oh bollocks, i forgot to get it.

  2. 2
    ToonBob... says:

    Me too.

  3. 3
    trev says:

    Are Guido’s Catholic hackles raised by a junior government whip tweeting “must be Sunday, more Catholics spitting hatred”?

  4. 4
    Re-cycled joke says:

    Guido

    I went to my local shop and asked if he had a copy of The Star on Sunday with the Guido Fawkes piece in it, He reply was that he had sold out, i said *I know that but have you a copy of The Star on Sunday? * .

  5. 5
    Lord Justice Turkeyforahat says:

    A timely reminder of the how, not much changes over time in my profession:

  6. 6
    Gordon Braun says:

    Hi! I’m Gordon Brown, and I invented the most complicated tax system in Europe.
    It’s an amazing product with hundreds of special loopholes for those wise enough not to get shafted under PAYE.

    It’s so good, I bought a company.
    And set myself up, Red Ken style, as the office of lovely Sarah & Gordon Braun.

    Get yourself and off the shelf company and avoid ruinous Taxes that some bumbling super chancellor introduced. Do it..today!

    (VoiceOver … My name is Tony Blair and I endorce this message)

  7. 7
    Tuscan Tony says:

    I misread it and bought the Morning Star instead.

  8. 8
    Gordon Braun says:

    I bought the daily spa

  9. 9
    Timmy Tour says:

    Write for us Guido and advertise us using your blog and twitter accounts and we shall reward you handsomely

    The Sport on Sunday

  10. 10
    trev says:

    It took me embarrassingly long to get that.

  11. 11
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Why is Guido shilling for the dead tree press?
    Oh – I forgot he is taking the brown envelopes now.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    If you can’t get it in the first two seconds, move on. Blog rule.

  13. 13
    On the plus side.. says:

    Sally Bercow got axed from The Star on Sunday just two weeks after Guido started writing for the Star on Sunday.

  14. 14
    annette curton says:

    What’s the tit count for today Guido?.

  15. 15
    Schrödingers tat says:

    Just got back from a day trip to Mars, where I purchased a Thark Bule. It goes very nice my comb over.

    Remember kids, don’t try this at home, leave it to the experienced nutters.

  16. 16
    On the Cheap says:

    “The Daily Star Sunday is cutting back on its big name columnists less than three weeks after Desmond moved to slash the cover price by 50%, to 50p, in a costly tabloid price war with Rupert Murdoch’s Sun on Sunday.

    However, political blogger Paul Sta1nes, aka Guido Fawkes, was recently hired as a columnist on the Daily Star Sunday.”

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/mar/09/daily-star-sunday-axes-columnists?newsfeed=true

  17. 17
    tit watch with bill oddie says:

    Your the fifth to comment on here in the last hour.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    don't get me started says:

    Fuck off bitch.

  20. 20
    Gordon Brown says:

    I need something stuffing in my brown envelope by next Tuesday.

  21. 21
    Expat Geordie says:

    Sorry Guido, no can do mate. If you want a good news tabloid it has to be the Sun. The Mirror and People being too mentally twisted to do anything other than spout bilge. If you want political coverage then go to the Telegraph, Times, Observer etc. If you want tits then it is the Sport. Notice anything missing from that list? Oh yes, the Star on Sunday. I’ll not call you a sell out, but if you really wanted an audience then you should have gone to The Sun on Sunday.

  22. 22
    The Bercow replacement says:

    So Guido has been drafted in to replace Mrs Bercow so that the Star can save money.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Entirely so, and of them all the Sport is the best.

  24. 24
    Supply v Demand says:

    He can’t go anywhere he wants. It’s invitation only.

  25. 25
  26. 26

    Talking of those old dead newspaper things, I wonder if anyone can help me? In a fight between those two wicked lying treasonous old hags, Polly Toynbee and Shirley You Can’t be Serious Williams, who should I wish to win/lose?

    I’m in a quandary.

  27. 27
    Gordon Brown also says:

    I regret that I am not in a position to inform the House about my personal taste in biscuits.

    This is a classified State Secret, and may affect the Security of the EUSSR.

  28. 28
    annette curton says:

    Ergo, you must be the sixth.

  29. 29
    sandy says:

    I bought the Sun on Sunday by mistake.

  30. 30
    Jay says:

    Yep, took me a few seconds as well but that may just be my hangover.
    Good stuff.

  31. 31
    sandy says:

    Do we have to have this joke every week? But it was funny the first time.

  32. 32
    sandy says:

    If Ken REALLY believes the USA wants the Iranian oil (chuckle, chuckle) why did the Yanks not take most of the Iraqi oil when they had the chance? Most of it has gone to Russia and the EU. The USA gets very little oil from the Middle East and most of that is from Saudi Arabia. But don’t expect a few facts to get in the way of Ken’s absurd statements. He doesn’t believe what he says but many idiots do.

  33. 33
    Tyne Pipe Dreams says:

    Cleggie tells his conference at Gateshead that he and THEY are now the party who are changing Britain for the better and who are setting the radical agenda creating a truly Liberal Britain and safeguarding the nation from Toryism……..

  34. 34
    A Prick Posing as PM says:

    I say chaps! Jolly Nick gave a spiffing speech, – watt!

    All about the importance of Jabbering, Eating, Excreting, and Tippling!

    And he’s well with us on Wind Farms – what could be better!!

    Watt!!!

    I DO so love this spiffing Coagulation!

    Watt!

  35. 35
    Scupulously unfair observer says:

    How about a total (permanent) knockout for both?

    That leaves HaPerson

  36. 36
    Some Geezer wot wishes they'd ask me to sell out says:

    A joke which wasn’t all that funny last week and will continue to get unfunnier as the weeks wear on and the same joke gets told again and again, like that one about the bordello madam telling the John he can’t pay in Euros, which was told dozens and dozens of times on this blog.

    OK, we get it: Guido got mercenary in his old age and became what he berated. Get over it. He’s got a wife and kids to support.

  37. 37
    Snappy Jack says:

    No it’s alrite mate, i’ve already done me bog roll shopping this week.

  38. 38
    Oi Rupert says:

    Mr Murdoch give me a job please.

  39. 39
    My name is Nick Clegg and I am........ says:

    Totally deluded…………..

  40. 40
    Worzel's Doppelganger says:

    Worzel can’t find his Professor head to read the Daily Star.

  41. 41
    ToonBob... says:

    I like a rub down with the Sunday Sport :)

  42. 42
    Gonk says:

    Humbly admit it took me about 7 seconds. And then laugh… I just couldn’t

  43. 43
    The breast of w9 says:

    You just gave everybody yet another reason not to purchase that rag

    Will you be appearring in the 1/4 Asian Babes secton?

  44. 44
    The breast of w9 says:

    Do ou have to kneel whenever you meet Dirty Dick Desmond
    BE C AREFUL!

  45. 45
    annette curton says:

    Like that one, a coagulation… coagulation posing as a nation.

  46. 46
    smoggie says:

    “spitting hatred”? Oooooo, bitch.

  47. 47
    Gutter Press says:

    I will not be buying any newspaper. The media is a disgrace.

  48. 48
    Eric Joyce says:

  49. 49
    81IIy 8owden i5 7he gre@test ump1re ever ! says:

    i thorght you atricle was the best one in it

  50. 50
    81IIy 8owden i5 7he gre@test ump1re ever ! says:

    it never takes me more than 2 secs to get to the end

  51. 51
    Alyingstare Darling says:

    What’s strange about that ?

  52. 52
    Calamity Clegg says:

    TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX,TAX.

    You can trust the FibDems to keep this promise….

  53. 53
    Nick re-launches "The Brain Drain" for the 21st Century says:

    This Tycoon Tax;Mansion tax ; cutting tax relief on pensions contributions for the higher rate tax payers and hounding bankers until they re-locate to China is music to Lib-Dem activists’ ears but who do they actually think create the jobs,earn billions of foreign earnings for the British Exchequer ? Denis Healey tried ithis in the 70’s and pretty soon realised that the UK was losing foreign investment and the entrepreneurs that create wealth for the UK and that Britain was closed for business but then again what do Lib_Dems understand about business…??

  54. 54
    No pay-wall here says:

    Quite right stick to reading the FREE online versions

  55. 55
    Well it's a thought says:

    Try again, N E O must not be on m o dd ing duty as G managed to say nothing nice about Camoron

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Whit E van Driver says:

    So anything to do with cars is banned ?

  58. 58
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    No. I believe Guido has been drafted in as his beliefs and morality are better aligned with Desmond’s.

  59. 59

    Just put your arm through this sleeve, sir.

    That’s right.

    Thank you.

  60. 60
    tit watch with bill oddie says:

    Ergo you must be the seventh.

  61. 61
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Undoubtedly, but on this issue I do wonder why, if the LibDems are not blocking us, a number of my colleagues are chewing the carpet?

  62. 62
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I always thought that England and Scotland were two nations posing as a coagulation.

  63. 63
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wrote a book today called The Amazing Power of Poo. Teddy said it was a best smeller.

  64. 64
    Schrödingers tat says:

    My left tit is called Lady Veronica Fitzgerald-Barr, my right one is called Timmy.

  65. 65

    Here are the rules for when to use A or An:

    a = indefinite article (not a specific object, one of a number of the same objects) with consonants
    She has a dog.
    He works on a blog.

    an = indefinite article (not a specific object, one of a number of the same objects) with vowels (a,e,i,o,u)
    Would you like an apple?
    He is an ignoramus.

  66. 66
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Just as well; the Star is already full of shit.

  67. 67
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Such grammar and spelling – a natural born Star journalist

  68. 68
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    We have twin tits called Cameron and Clegg.

  69. 69

    Are you claiming for them as supported dependents?

  70. 70

    Would you like to sin
    With Elinor Glyn
    Upon a tiger skin?
    Or would you prefer
    To err
    With her
    Upon another fur?

  71. 71
    Sir William Waad says:

    Too late
    To mate
    She’d be a hundred and forty-eight.

  72. 72
    Sir William Waad says:

    Good grief! Is the Daily Star still going? To me, it goes with Carry On films, flared denim hipsters and pop singers with mirrors on their hats.

  73. 73
    Sir William Waad says:

    An hour?

  74. 74
    Well it's a thought says:

    Scratch!, ow!.

  75. 75
    albacore says:

    Not quite all the rules.
    An hotel?

  76. 76
    albacore says:

    Oops! Apologies, Sir W. Must remember to refresh before posting.

  77. 77

    Shed no tears
    Your fears
    Are not as bad as appеars
    You are her senior by three hundred and eighteen years.

  78. 78
    Schrödingers tat says:

    I’m claiming that they’re both poo. I hope that clears it up.

  79. 79

    Although I had anticipated this, it is an honour to be corrected.

    (Despite my original desire for brevity.)

  80. 80

    That reminds me.

    Skid and Mark are just hours away.

  81. 81
    Judge Mongo says:

    Who exactly are these Beatles?

  82. 82
    MI5 says:

    Dear Guido

    I may be in profound disagreement with you about the banks, Murdoch and Z i o n i s m

    But I am in agreement about many other things

    Not the least is the Pastoral Letter read out in all Catholic Churches in the UK today about homo marriage

    Let them bugger each other in private

    But not inflict their vice on the public

    PS one of the other problems I have with homos is that they are vicious, with no generosity, like the Noble Ermin Vermin Mandelkraut of that Ilk

  83. 83
    well says:

    so do hetros shag at the wedding cermony?

  84. 84
    Decline and Fall says:

    And to think that the Conservatie Party is now the party of buttblugs and plastic arseholes

    Says it all really….

  85. 85
    Dr Spock says:

    Heteros, i.e. normal human beings, should simply ignore exhibionist twinkies…

  86. 86
    Dave the Insignificant Rave says:

    I have just invited Rebekahh over for a drink

    She tells me the Screws readers loved all those homos

  87. 87
    Fools gold says:

    Happy birthday Rupert 81 today from all your friends

  88. 88
    Reuters correspondent, always first with the news says:

    I have just zapped onto the front page of the Daily Star Sunday

    More inconsequential futility on one page is difficult to show

    All those “celebrities”

    OMG

    Don’t know one of them…

  89. 89
    Daily Star correspondent says:

    Where are the homo gangbangs, shags and WAGs, buggery thuggery and skullduggery of New Labour

    At least they kept us in copy

  90. 90
    Dr Freud said all women suffered from penis envy says:

    Citizen Murdock is still there ?

    http://youtube-global.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-its-70th-anniversary-orson-welles.html

  91. 91
    The beast of two straight backs says:

    Yes!
    butt homs will do it DURING the ceremony

  92. 92
    nellnewman says:

    I read that as kenlivingstone’s fatcheque from Ir an (£200kplus) that’s apparently funding his bid for the London Mayor’s job whilst Ir an is developing a nuc le ar
    wa rhe ad to hit London.

    ken is either naive or a cynic – I know which I think he is. Life’s a funny thing!!

  93. 93
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    The FibDems’ proposal for a Mansion Tax is intolerable . After all, what happens if an honest Liebour politician and highly successful Middle East P3@ce Envoy like me has TEN properties ?? Surely you can’t tax me on ALL TEN ???

  94. 94
    nellnewman says:

    Wasn’t there something in the Bible about turning the other cheek?

  95. 95
    bird with small brain says:

    It looks to me like a variation on the Groucho Marx dictum .. I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me… the fact that the Star wants Guido’s contribution should not be taken as a compliment to him or his loyal followers. I bet this gets modded.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    nellnewman says:

    Very apt. And nearer to the truth than most people realise.

  98. 98
    nellnewman says:

    Should that have not read ‘ broadcast for us ken and advertise our aims on your blog and twitter accounts and we shall reward you handsomely’

    armoureddinnerjacket and his tame theocracy.

  99. 99
    nellnewman says:

    you’d be better off asking ‘ why is ken shilling for iran’ or ‘why is militwit shilling for the unions’ or ‘ why are the libdems shilling for themselves’………

  100. 100
    nellnewman says:

    cutting back on it’s BigNameColumnists aka sallyalleybercow!!!

    Don’t make me laugh!!!

  101. 101
    Durr... says:

    Always listen to Catholic priests – their “gay” experience is legendary.

  102. 102
    nellnewman says:

    It couldnlt be, could it? that they found sallyalley actually couldn’t write?!

  103. 103
    Going round in circles with Brown's shitst@ins. says:

    A pile boring shite!

  104. 104
    nellnewman says:

    They haven’t thought the proposal through. Their esteemed leader cleggie owns homes in London, Spain and somewhere where they ski. All luxury villas. He’s not going to pay any mansion taxes any more than the esteemed stvincecable will.

    All Hot Air and for public consumption only.

  105. 105
    Austin Powers, cultural icon, baby! says:

    Said Sir William Waad, as if there was anything wrong with all that! Those were great days, Sir Bill, the likes of which we’ll not see again! A hell of a lot more fun, at any rate! A pound was a pound! Russians didn’t own everything! (They were the enemy, FFS!) Asians weren’t trying to blow up the Tube! (Hell, even Micks hadn’t started blowing up shit yet, either!) You didn’t worry you were taking your life in your hands when you shagged somebody! Birds were birds! Poofters stayed in the closet mostly! Everybody liked it that way! Every sentence had an exclamation after it!

  106. 106
    nellnewman says:

    Too true this latest round of self serving politicians in the UK are about as uninspiring as a load of horseapples!!

  107. 107
    Some Geezer wot's looking to be a pain says:

    Say, Cat, could you lend me “a Euro”?

  108. 108
    nellnewman says:

    I know nothing about catholicism I’m talking about christianity.

  109. 109
    Ichabod says:

    Horizontally she can perform, vertically she can’t deliver.

  110. 110
    nellnewman says:

    We must all agree to disagree I think.

    If two people of whatever sex can find lasting love an affection in this world of hate and war then they should be congratulated.

    I think God would approve of them.

  111. 111
  112. 112
    Chris Hoon says:

    I’m down to just eight properties but they won’t be eligible for the Mansion Tax hahahaha !

  113. 113
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Sally’s worn a sheet, and has taken part in Celebrity Big Brother.

    That’ll look good on her CV.

  114. 114
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    It’s no small wonder that MP’s office expenses are so high.

    Your staff must spend all their time flipping properties, and shr*edding documents.

  115. 115
    nellnewman says:

    Well Ichabod what do we expect after the last 13 years of labour’s failed education policy.

  116. 116
    nellnewman says:

    Well the libdems had better make the best of it whilst it lasts. Nobody will be voting them back anywhere near to any power anytime in the next 100 years or so.

    What a disappointing, failed and failing party they are!!!

  117. 117
    nellnewman says:

    I’d forgotten about worzel and his heads. That’s what the libdems need isn’t it ?

    2 new heads to help them understand the economics of ordinary folks and small businesses.

    Oh and they desperately need to get rid of vince who understand economics about as well as gordy!!

  118. 118
    nellnewman says:

    Too true. As ken made clear on Marr this morning people in his position should be exempt from such inconveniences as paying tax!!

  119. 119
    Potty Toynbee says:

    They can’t tax OVERSEAS properties, can they ?? BASTARDS !

  120. 120
    Gordon Brown says:

    i like dropping my guts in the butchers

    yesterday i melted two punds of pork chops with a curry pump

  121. 121
    Sew me a doormat! says:

    So?

  122. 122
    Fat Czech says:

    A much more intelligent read IMHO

  123. 123
    nellnewman says:

    Don’t worry polly the ita lians will be taxing you as a foreigner with a luxury property in their country. The EU is demanding it.

    Bitten on the bum by your own chums eh? Justice at last!!

  124. 124
    Meddling Nell says:

    How do you get rid of shit adver£s?

  125. 125
    Jonathan Rhys-Meyers says:

  126. 126

    That there is even such a thing in the world as a poster of Alistair Darling.

  127. 127
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Don’t forget this for tomorrow’s cartoon:

    “Who is it?”
    “Is it Tommy Cooper?”
    “I thought it was Delia Smith.”
    “Skid and Mark, don’t give up the day job.”
    “Execrable.”
    “The worst yet.”
    “WTF?”
    Etc., etc., etc.

    All richly (geddit?) deserved, of course.

  128. 128
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Herr Moggie, see my #127.

  129. 129
    annette curton says:

    Eh, according to you I was the fifth (a student of history).

  130. 130
    Oi Rupert says:

    … and an extra £2 if you take your dentures out.

  131. 131
    Nell is scared of her own Shadow says:

    I would never say c’unt or shit.

  132. 132
    The Lesson unto Noo (Progressive) Boring Liars is taken from Mose Chapter 34, beginning at verse 94 says:

    1. And Mose, driven from the habitation of all normal decent people, wandered in the wilderness. And no-one save the crow which is calléd carrion came by him.

    2. And an hireling, naméd Ed, driven forwarde by a multitude of men clothéd in purple, riding in chariots, followed by jobsworths and jobsworth’s jobsworths, drew nigh unto Mose, and said, Art Thou he, that MincingPrettyBotty said would save thy people and lead them from the wilderness?

    3. And Mose, answered, and said unto Ed: Yeah, I am he.

    4. And Ed said unto Mose: then what doest thou here, in rags, and an hungered?

    5. And Mose answered and said: What doest thou also? Art thou he that, even unkempt, was he that was my liege man, my follower and pretty boy? Even speaking unto the multitude concerning neo-endogenous crap?

    6. And Ed, discomfited, said: Nay, I am not he. I am he chosen by those that are calléd Un Ion. And they say unto me, get thee and receive unto thee the blessing of Mose, and people will follow thee. And I, even I have come, driven as with a goad by those in Chariots and dressed in fine purple.

    7. And Mose considered these matters in his heart, and, opening his mouth, said unto Ed: thou knowest that I, even I, am destined to lead my people from the wilderness. Go now and announce to the people, that I, even I, shall lead them.

    8. And Ed, with an heavy heart, returnéd to the Chariots of those called Un Ion leaders.

    Here endeth the Lesson.

  133. 133
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Seems you missed this year’s LibDem Spring Conference.

  134. 134
    Soviet Star is read by doormats. says:

    What a lot of bollockski.

  135. 135
    nursie says:

    Clever boy!

  136. 136
    Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzip says:

    I laughed until I stopped

  137. 137
    two podgy gayers says:

    That’s a big hole to fill

  138. 138
    An expurt in these matters says:

    No, they have a little one. And, like its larger cousin, can be a bit of bother from time to time, especially when excited.

    The answer is a good dose of HaPerson gel, guaranteed to smother any untoward feelings.

  139. 139
    An Onanist says:

    Where does that leave me?

  140. 140
    bobby says:

    You need correcting alright, in a fucking special facility.

  141. 141
    Cherry says:

    Oh Tony, – My HERO!!!!

    Like me to get my special equipment darling?

  142. 142
    annette curton says:

  143. 143
    bashing kweers since 1963 says:

    They’re like kids, they’ll push the boundaries as far as you’ll let them. They need slapping down occasionally to remind them who’s the dominant species.

  144. 144
    FTLTF says:

    If that’s the real Billy I’ll eat my daily star horoscope.

  145. 145
    tit watch with bill oddie says:

    You’re the fifth and the seventh, quite an achievement for a mong, it must be said.

  146. 146
    Gordon Braun says:

    Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for buckfast

  147. 147
    Old Boy says:

    Fine wine doesn’t pay for it’s self pal.

  148. 148
    annette curton says:

    Flush them down the toilet.

  149. 149
    for the uninformed says:

    #127 is blog code for a titchy cock.

  150. 150
    Old Boy says:

    Have you beaten your beard to death yet Gordon, aint seen her or heard a peep out of her for awhile.

  151. 151
    Gordon Brown says:

    i have poo stripes in the gusset of my chino trousers

  152. 152
    Gay Simon says:

    I have a red star every day except Sunday.

  153. 153
    unless... says:

    An AA mechanic gave me an IOU.

  154. 154
    desiree says:

    Either that, or they should be gassed. It’s best for them in the long run.

  155. 155
    Old Boy says:

    The likelihood is most of us posters especially the ones around while Gordon McMong was still PM and ripping him on a daily basis are all on MI5 watch lists. You might not believe me but people have been monitored and put on watch lists by MI5 for less.

  156. 156

    Too bad chum.

    I escaped.

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry but I’m one of the no body visitors to this site, but the Daily Star? c’mon

  158. 158
    unless... says:

    Doh. How about an SAS soldier?

  159. 159
    4' 3⅛" says:

    I’m all for it. All people under 4′ 3″ should pay tax, those above not.

  160. 160
    nellnewman says:

    Donlt worry about it. If Mi5 has time to watch folks like me doing school runs, spending time with Youngnells in hospital and teaching her how to sail rather than watching out for the enemies of the state, we haven’t got much to worry about!!

  161. 161
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Can’t wait to get my watch !! Hope it’s a R0lex !

  162. 162
    nellnewman says:

    I’m not especially confrontational but I’ve just been attacked by @BiancaJagger on Twitter +++Laugh+++

    This obviously labour lady says NHS is something better than sliced bread & didn’t like it when I said labour’s NHS had left YoungNell disabled. She seemed to think I was being disrespectful to labour’s memory!!

    She obviously doesn’t have much sympathy for disabled kids.

    Told me to ‘Get Of her Cloud’!! Obviously can’t deal with home truths.

  163. 163

    Rich and Mark are to cartoon humour what the gentleman who was born in Braunau-am-Inn on 20 April 1889 was to the Diaspora.

  164. 164
    nellnewman says:

    I’m not especially confrontational but I’ve just been attacked by ++
    @+B ianca Ja gg er on Twitter +++Laugh+++

    This obviously labour lady says NHS is something better than sliced bread & didn’t like it when I said labour’s NHS had left YoungNell disabled. She seemed to think I was being disrespectful to labour’s memory!!

    She obviously doesn’t have much sympathy for disabled kids.

    Told me to ‘Get Of her Cloud’!! Obviously can’t deal with home truths.

    Reply

  165. 165

    @Sir Aston Martin

    I have responded in appropriate fashion.

    Gesundheit!

  166. 166

    Sad that she still needs to feel attached to Mr Jagger’s hooks…

  167. 167

    Sаd thаt shе stіll nееds tо fееl аttаchеd tо Mr Jаggеr’s hооks…

  168. 168
    Anonymous says:

    Talk about titchy cocks, and one turns up ^.

  169. 169

    C’mon?

    What is the problem here????

    No peаs…

  170. 170
    nellnewman says:

    Exactly. How Trite was my first thought!

    Suddenly I think that tribe is as tainted as bliar the warmonger, brown the failed economist and livingstone the taxdodger extraordinaire!

    Rotten to the core!

  171. 171
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    You don’t need top set up companies. Just have cash paid into offshore accounts and assets delivered offshore as well, like my villa in Spain. Jahbulon.

  172. 172
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    You can say that again. Boaz.

  173. 173
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    At least he has one!

    Unlike you.

    Cυnt
    ====

  174. 174
    Me says:

    @Nell. Bianca does not live in the real world. She lives in an Ivory tower surrounded by nannies and servants to pamper for her every whim.
    It is hard looking after a disabled child/adult. I know, I have experience in this area. The NHS is failing everyone especially the vulnerable and it sounds like it has failed you and your family.
    Lucky for B ianca, she can afford to go private. I doubt she has ever used the NHS in her life. She can afford to go private, most of us don’t have that luxury and are stuck with the rubbish we are given. The tax payer is not given value for money.
    Get out of her cloud? Yeah, that is where here head is well and truly stuck! Cloud cuckoo land?

  175. 175
    nellnewman says:

    “Jazziette
    You don’t deserve to wear her clothes! —-> @nell_newman @BiancaJagger”

    And this of course is how labour bullies when people disagree with their views. gordy would approve!!

  176. 176
    nellnewman says:

    “Ja zziette
    You don’t deserve to wear her clothes! —-> @ ne ll_newman @Bia ncaJa gger”

    And this of course is how labour bullies when people disagree with their views. gordy would approve!!

  177. 177
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband is very quiet about Ken Livingstone.

  178. 178

    Brown was never an economist.

    He was a historian of the Trades Union movement.

    That fact in itself speаks volumes for the paucity of knowledge in the banking, economics, political theory and media spheres.

    That is why I walked out in disgust; first from the banking fraternity and then from the UK.

  179. 179

    Take as many as you want.

    I was not attempting an exhaustive statement on indefinite articles – just pointing out that It`s a auto-mоd. is just plain wrong.

    No one can justify that usage. Even less someone with an expensive education (should that have been the case.)

  180. 180
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    Oh fuck my arse

  181. 181
    Jock in Frock says:

    @Nell. Who would want Bianca’s style, ideas or otherwise?
    Labour is style over substance and it’s now truly ‘down and out’. Labour have ruined the country.
    As for Labour playing fair? Nah! Get tough Nell!

  182. 182
    Bareback Вowden is a fruit says:

    Piss off Вowden you fucking shit stabber, your boyfriend wants a dose of what you’ve got.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    Bolter.

  184. 184
    regina slag says:

    leave ‘er nell, she’s not wurf it.

  185. 185
    Me says:

    @Nell, reply: Typical Labour. Style over substance.
    That should shut them up for five minutes.

  186. 186
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    U r out of ur depth

  187. 187
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Preserve them – Winnie memorabilia is most collectable.

  188. 188
    nellnewman says:

    Don’t worry sweetie I’m not likely to cave in to a labour supporting bia nca jag ger who gets angry at me as a grandma who tells the truth about my grand-daugher being made disabled by labour’s uncaring NHS & then goes on to say , because I dared to criticise labour’s NHS, that I’m not worthy to wear her clothes!!!

    +++Laughs sadly+++ Where are her brains??!! And where is her compassion for disabled children??!!

  189. 189
    Schrödingers tat says:

    Anybody know if Nutella is kosher?

  190. 190
    nellnewman says:

    Don’t worry sweetie

    I’m not likely to cave in to a labour supporting b ia n ca ja g g e r who gets angry at me as a grandma who tells the truth about my grand-daugher being made disabled by labour’s uncaring NHS & then goes on to say , because I dared to criticise labour’s NHS, that I’m not worthy to wear her clothes!!!

    +++Laughs sadly+++ Where are her brains??!! And where is her compassion for disabled children??!!

    Reply

  191. 191
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    One might take more notice of her if she had not benefitted from Mr Jagger’s many years of tax dodging.

  192. 192
    nellnewman says:

    The only thing that’s going to bother her is whether her profits in selling clothes will be affected. AKA bliar – everything is about money!!

  193. 193
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    So would you be if you had got your spare pair of adenoids stuck in your throat.

  194. 194
    nellnewman says:

    No idea. Doubt whether God worries about such trivia. It tastes good. Enjoy!

  195. 195
    smoggie says:

    Always reads the legendary Daily Star more like…

  196. 196
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    But her circle is invaluable. Who but Keith Richard could have surpassed the “bizarre gardening accident” in Spinal Tap by falling out of a palm tree?

  197. 197
    Schrödingers tat says:

    er…..it was a rhetorical question nell, wtf?

  198. 198

    Keep Labour out means sometimes having to vote Tory but it does not necessarily indicate support.

    Beware the Ides of March!

  199. 199
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    As Old Harry might say – may you be pestered by a flustered white rabbi.

  200. 200
    Me says:

    @Ah right Nell. Really, I would not give BJ five minutes of my time. Labour need to learn that we are not interested on how the mega rich perceive the poor, middle class etc. Wtf do they know about real life other than what publicist tell them? Sweet FA!

  201. 201
    Bareback Вowden is a fruit says:

    says the kiddy fiddler at the shallow end.

  202. 202
    smoggie says:

    I bet your post gets modded…. coz it’s so fucking contentious.

  203. 203
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    Fruit can have explosive dehiscence

  204. 204
    Bystander #4 says:

    Thank you that Cat!

    Much relieved – and grateful – for your confirmation of my long held belief that that vile *person* is/was a fraud, an orally flatulent fool ( I would rather his stinking flatus passed via his arse than be delivered to his acolytes), a lying, cheating, incompetent bully, and much more beside.

    I’m sad to read of your job. A life-long suspician of banking had given way to a kind of warmth to the Cap’n Mannerings of a (long past) world who would value integrity and laugh at – what was it? – 110% self-declared incomes / mortgages / incomes or some such twaddle. (Hope that doesn’t ruffle your feathers too much on this otherwise peaceful evening – but it certainly does mine! – considering our first home was bought on the basis of my then meagre income.)

  205. 205
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    Tat is not kosher

  206. 206
    Basil the Cat says:

    Well said

  207. 207
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    rethoriclle

    ++++Larfh++++

  208. 208
    Your local Divvy 'n EqualTitty Ofsah says:

    tch tch tch!!! how many more time am we have to say you ma de basket case!!

    PERSON, – am de word! DE ‘MAN’ THING hab gone long ago when dat HaRPY womin took over de rains.

  209. 209
    the march hare says:

  210. 210
    Ever felt you were getting too old? says:

    It’s an effect of aging dearie.

    Now, just drink this nice cup of Bengers, – then bed.

  211. 211
    nellnewman says:

    Very interesting evening. bi a n ca ja g g er & friends have just suggested on tw itt er I should commit sui cide wearing a bj suit because I said labour’s NHS had failed us.

    How’s that for socialism!!

  212. 212
    Ducky says:

    Oh – the sight of lovely smooth but – ocks! ooooohh I’m ready to swoon!

  213. 213
    quackers says:

    You’re not Вilly, but you’re still a nonce.

  214. 214
    nellnewman says:

    Or indeed your accountant doing the same things that ken’s accountants are doing!!!

  215. 215
    nellnewman says:

    Thanks sweetie,

    But I suspect she’s very typical of millionaire out of touch labour.

  216. 216
    Cross Dressing says:

    @Nell ducky! Tell ‘em you would rather go out in style and wouldn’t be seen d e a d in a BJ outfit. You have better taste than that! Gucci? Maybe!

  217. 217
    nellnewman says:

    Thanks darling!

  218. 218

    @Bystander #4

    Nice of you to express your concern but I am happier out of it, if rather less prosperous than I might have been. (Working on that now to correct.)

    I rose to the highest level, an ambition I had from my youth, and when you get there you really wonder why you bothered (assuming you still have some principles.)

    I worked to bring efficiency to the industry using IT more efficiently to speed up services. But only people can make a true difference to service. We needed to improve on the Mannerings, good as they once were, to bring on gifted people supported by technology. Instead we got the sub-continental call centres.

    There are still parts of the world where you can obtain a first class banking service. It might be imprudent of me to mention where but I think you will get the drift…

  219. 219
    Bіlly Bоwdеn іs thе Grеаtеst Umpіrе еvеr ! says:

    When did you first discover you weren’t perceptive?

    Nonce – such a Labour word btw.

  220. 220
    annette curton says:

    Just thinking, committing suicide is one thing, but while wearing a bj suit?.

  221. 221
    A Leper says:

    I would give my left arm for a Chanel shoulder bag.
    Bianca Jagger’s tat? I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole.

  222. 222
    nellnewman says:

    +++Smiles+++

    Interesting though that bi a nc aja gg er & labour are happy to tell people who disagree with their socialist views to commit suicide in or out of a bj suit.

    More than extreme!!

    A te rr or ist point of view isn’t it?!!

    No doubt militwit approves this tactic?!

  223. 223
    nellnewman says:

    And then gets her friend to suggest on twitter because I disagreed over the NHS that I should commit suicide in a bj suit!! How extreme is that??!

    Socialism at its best or what??!!

  224. 224
    Week-End Pedant says:

    The MEDIA are

  225. 225
    Tacky Tactics says:

    B ia nca is using the NHS for publicity reasons.
    Nell, how do you sell goods? Being contraversial works. The t u r d is using you to create interest and curiosity for her t at so that sales will go up. How low can these Slebs go? B ianca’s style is cheap and tacky!

  226. 226
    quackers says:

    When did you first discover that you were an arsehole, fake Bіlly ? Or has it not occurred to you yet?

    Do one, cuпt. (that’s anglo saxon btw)

  227. 227
    Veruca watch says:

    So the breaking news is that Guido has stepped into Sally Bercow’s shoes.

  228. 228
    The Madest mad Mullah says:

    Only if it hung drawn and quartered

  229. 229
    nellnewman says:

    No idea sweetie. But I’ve now had an email warning me not to slander them in my Blog!!!!

    For crying out loud! I use my Blog to write about the unfairness of the NHS and the unfairness of care for disability and elderly care under the NHS.

    These £millionaire ja g g er people are SO UNREAL to go around publicly threatening those of us who are dealing with the difficult things in life !! SO ANGRY.!!!!

  230. 230
    nellnewman says:

    No the ++++BREAKING NEWS+++ is

    the Ja GG ER family & Friends are supporting Labour over the NHS and if you choose to express an alternative point of view they will be attacking you and suggesting that you commit su ic ide!!

    Love Socialism!!

  231. 231
    Banka Jagger. Banking on the N H S. says:

    @Nell. Who is Banka Jagger? ;)
    I will never buy her goods ever. I will never vote Labour ever. Their ploy has worked hasn’t it? :)
    Be careful Nell. The cow is not worth it!
    On the + side. You must have got to them if they sent you an e m a i l. Well done. Be careful.

  232. 232
    They're ALL Disgusting! says:

    All of the political parties, not just the LibDems, DO know how to “give someone [i.e. the public] the ‘business’,” though, as they have been doing, and are continuing to do.

  233. 233
    The beast of two straight backs says:

    sir mick the tax exle?

  234. 234

    I am sure that you can hold your own…

  235. 235
    Some Geezer wot's gonna play some "Alt-History" says:

    A “gentleman” who probably should have taken up cartooning, seeing he was an artist no worse than Skid and Mark, and probably a lot better. We all would have been better off, including him.

  236. 236
    Me says:

    @Nell. Don’t get angry. I worked out these idiots a long time and it is all about p r o f i t and nothing else.
    The truth is on twitter and no doubt many reasonable people will be disgusted and fed up with them. I know I am.
    Find out what your legal rights are in relation to blogging and free speech. Guido might be able to inform you. I don’t see how you are in the wrong. Keep a copy of the tweets and look up on the law in relation to the Intentional infliction of emotional distress. Suggesting suicide? They are deliberately trying to distress you. Nasty!

  237. 237
    nellnewman says:

    Good Night Folks x God Bless. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

  238. 238

    What is the ontological status of such counterfactuals, I wonder?

    Imagine Brown as The Best Prime Minister Britain has ever had…

  239. 239
    Jock in a Frock says:

    Good nite Nell. It will all look better in the morning. You got the better of them. Sending you an e m ail. They were well wound up! Haha. x

  240. 240
    B anka JagGer says:

    I sell frocks on the NHS. I am a c u n t!

  241. 241
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    I read it on the free Star app. A bit tame compared to the blog Mr F.

  242. 242
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    The gayers turn those cheeks regularly.

  243. 243
    The Actor and the Bish says:

    According to the Catholics Sodomy is sin, I don’t know about that but I know its damn disgusting.

    Having said that I see nought wrong with gayers “marrying” in a registry office or in the middle of Arsenal football ground if they want to PROVIDED that us hetros can have a Civil Partnership with our female partners and that NONE of the churches which regard GAY sexual activity as wrong should be forced to marry same sex couples in their establishments. Furthermore there should be no attempt to water down the use of the words husband and wife as these relate to hetrosexual marriage as opposed to homosexual marriage.

    Finally I understand from Bish Sentanu that if Cam wants to bring in this law he is going to have to get the CofE’s Common Book of Prayer amended. Which ain’t gonna happen.

  244. 244
    Bonkers Jagger says:

    Forced to commit suicide in a Bia nca Jagger outfit?. Definitely trying to inflict emotional harm. Wearing Gucci is preferable and uplifting. Where is your taste woman?
    Sue her for mill ions! C unt!
    There is a reason she sent you that e mail and it isn’t cos you are in wrong! Sue the bytch!

  245. 245
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    “Anotel”, as she is spoke!

  246. 246
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Well said!!!!!!!!

  247. 247
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Wanking futilely.

  248. 248
    Taxfodder says:

    Err…I forgot it was Sunday um, thats right isn’t it?

  249. 249
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    I see the Star on Sunday is exempt from Guido’s “Dead Tree Press” tag. Hypocrisy? Sell-out?

  250. 250
    see below says:

    Fuck that!

  251. 251
    Anonymous says:

    You need to calm down. Try suicide.


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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”


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