March 9th, 2012

You’re Either in Front of Guido, or Behind…

From: Iain McNicol
Date: 9 March 2012 15:01:06 GMT
To: All Staff
Subject: New Executive Board

Dear All

I was personally very sorry to see that a number of the appointments were publicised on various blogs earlier today before staff had been fully informed.



Iain McNicol
General Secretary

Labour Party
39 Victoria Street


  1. 1
    True says:

    They fear you Guido, more than voters.


    • 2
      Lord Wayne of Trombone says:

      The BBC is planning a programme download service, which would rival iTunes, so it can sell new and old programming, according to a report.

      This will definitely be a success

      Government propaganda agencies normally kill Apple at business.


      • 20
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        Songs will Include

        “How Glorious It Is To Pull The Cart Up The Dung Heap For The Glory Of The Commune”


        • 109
          Ivor Tapeworm says:

          Meanwhile the Beeb is reporting that Greece has met it’s bailout conditions.

          “Today the problem is solved,” French President Nicolas Sarkozy said, reports the Beeb.

          Hurrah! All is peachy in the Eurozone.

          Meanwhile, ISDA has determined that Greece has technically defaulted, triggering CDS payouts which will ripple through the world’s financial instutions. Just pray your pension fund isn’t one that issued a CDS against sovereign debt, or you will be paying for this Euro disaster again.

          Is this news on the Beeb website?

          Is it fuck.


        • 110
          Ivor Tapeworm says:

          Oh effing modbot.

          Meanwhile the Beeb is reporting that Greece has met it’s bailout conditions.

          “Today the problem is solved,” French President Nicolas Sarkozy said, reports the Beeb.

          Hurrah! All is p*e*a*chy in the Eurozone.

          Meanwhile, ISDA has determined that Greece has technically defaulted, triggering CDS payouts which will ripple through the world’s financial instutions. Just pray your pension fund isn’t one that issued a CDS against sovereign debt, or you will be paying for this Euro disaster again.

          Is this news on the Beeb website?

          Is it fuck.


          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            The CDS payouts are big but not catastrophic. The real problems are that Greece will need another bailout within 12 months, so will Portugal and Spain and Italy are hanging on the edge.

            The EuroHunts are screwing the world starting with the weakest Eurozone countries.


          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            Agree about the Eurohuhnes, but the € was always a political project more than an economic one.

            Bear in mind that financial institutions in some of the PIIGS were big CDS issuers. CDSs were unregulated – that was the ‘point’ of them as far as the finance sector was concerned.


          • Really? says:

            Make sense who can, I switch off..


      • 26
        Anonymous says:

        Actually the BBC has quite alot of things people would buy (tax payer subsidised of course). But agains the odds they do have an impressive bank of programmes.


      • 33
        Bolshevik Broadcasting Corpse says:

        We at the BBC love to be paid more than once for the shows you’ve already paid for.

        BBC Worldwide ads, overseas sales, tie-in products, brown envelopes from the music industry, Product Placement… and now, online through iGoons.


      • 61
        South of the M4 says:

        It is all part of the grand plan to make the TV license an ‘internet ‘ licence. And all that follows…….


      • 75
        taC eht abbaJ says:

        You can’t compete with p2p.


      • 120
        EdButLookBalls says:

        Well let’s hope it’s just as crap as their new website makeover, the footie updates are so ‘far-ahead’…”please refresh your browser or press F5″, classic retro html. Just like Tim Berners Lee just returned to undergrad at Queen’s College Oxon!


    • 111
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Yes Dirty Desmond must be shitting himself now the fiercely independent blogger is on the payroll.


    • 131
      Help if you can says:


    • 144
      Taxfodder says:

      From: Iain McNicol
      Date: 9 March 2012 15:01:06 GMT
      To: All Staff
      Subject: New Executive Board

      Dear All

      I was personally very sorry to see that a number of the appointments were publicised on various blogs earlier today before staff had been fully informed.



      Iain McNicol
      General Secretary

      Labour Party
      39 Victoria Street
      SW1H 0HA


      Perhaps I should have known better than trust anything confidential to a bunch of dimwitted lefty arseholes in the first place!


  2. 3
    me says:

    Verily, the good ship Labour leaketh..


  3. 4
    Useless Labour bigwig says:

    Dear All,
    I was personally very sorry to see that my email moaning about early publication of the new appointments on various blogs has also appeared …on various blogs.


  4. 5
    Rh- says:

    labour with its finger on the pulse as usual


    • 9
      Shoot The Messenger says:

      If you mean they are checking the pulse using that big vein that runs up the shaft then Qudos


    • 22
      ToonBob... says:

      A digit up their own ass hole perhaps?


    • 40
      Going down the pan says:

      Labour with its fingers in the purse as usual.


      • 163

        It would be up their arse hole, but can’t find it, even using both hands and a fucking map!

        Does anyone else think that the Millipede boy is looking increasingly sour faced? Is he drinking Gordon’s neat?

        Anyone for tetanus?


  5. 6
    A sommnolent Mafioso says:

    If you wake me again with this drivel you will be sleeping with the biggest codpiece on the Florida Keys .

    ( And I don’t mean round your cojones either but somewhere a bit more invasive ).


  6. 7
    A sommnolent Mafioso says:

    Guido pleeeeeese !!

    Are you a man or a monicker ??

    Do you have to insist on moderating everything that the jobsworths at London’s Biggest Condensation would outlaw.

    For God’s sake man show some spunk !!


  7. 8
    Shoot The Messenger says:

    Attention: Iain McNicol

    Labour Party
    39 Victoria Street
    SW1H 0HA

    Re: New Executive Board

    Dear Iain

    Rather than attributing blame to Guido, can I suggest the following website for your perusal as I am sure you will find a suitable product to stop your leaks.


    I.P. Freely


  8. 10
    Caligula himself says:

    The Labour Party has become the epitome of Collapse

    Moral Collapse

    Political Collapse

    Financial Collapse

    Administrative Collapse

    I would at least have shown my habitual artistic taste

    This Labour Party is just downright sordid, incompetant, vulgar, immoral and an offence even to me…


    • 13
      Tony Blair in his five star Jerusalem hotel, all expenses paid says:

      Even the Buggery, Thuggery and Skulduggery à la Maximum Imbecile Brown was better than this…


      • 17
        Ed Balls Up says:


        Hope the rate includes the WiFi


      • 42
        W S Gilbert says:

        “Buggery, Thuggery and Skulduggery”

        That’s got a ring to it. I feel an operetta coming on.

        “I am the very model of a modern Labour mental case” or something like that.


      • 58
        Some Geezer wot's had ideas more crackpot than this one says:

        “The Original Titus Oates’ Blog of Buggery, Thuggery and Skulduggery”
        An “” spin-off, perhaps? And Neo gets to be Titus?


    • 89
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      >The Labour Party has become the epitome of Collapse

      The Labour Party has become the epitome of Prolapse

      There, fixed it for ya!


  9. 11
    MB. says:

    It seems very unlikely that Guido has been hacking their phones, leave that to their friends in newspapers, so someone in the Labour Party must have leaked it. Of course if he got hold of similar changes in the Conservative Party he would be gloating and not worrying what the source was.


    • 18
      Scandals galore says:

      Guido will never be a touch on Murdoch’s people who even liked to tap the phones of Catholic Priests

      Pretty obscene I would say


      • 39
        kenny says:

        Celebrities deserve all they fucking get. The millionairess bitch has already been awarded £600,000, what more does she want ffs? Now piss off dufus.


        • 49
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I never thought of catholic priests as celebrities. But yes I suppose they are. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up for it.


          • Lord Effingham says:

            Some Catholic priests signed up for it BECAUSE they knew what they were going to be getting into – like choirboys, for instance.


      • 46
        sockpuppet #4 says:


        Catholic Priests might do bad things. That would be a story.
        They might know people who are above average sinners, thieves, crooks, people holding the reigns of power who need to be sorted out. A story that would advance democracy and make the world a better place.

        But no. A bloody teenage girl that they’ve got an unhealthy obsession with.

        I’d be prepared to believe that they were doing it all on purpose to curtail freedom of the press. false flag operation.


  10. 12
    Some Geezer wot couldn't resist says:

    Anybody in Labour is sorry– they’re the most sorry sacks of shite going!


  11. 15
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    bloody hell – they must all be shaking in their boots receiving an email like that. Next it will be – you’ve let me down, the team down but most importantly yourself down.


  12. 16
    Anonymous says:
  13. 23
    Bell Pottinger says:

    The greater the clusterfuck the better we are in covering it all up

    The Labour Party needs us


  14. 24
    Gonk says:

    ” They come not single spies, but in battalions “


  15. 29
    nellnewman says:

    You can almost hear the knives sharpening can’t you as mcnicol says ‘if I find out who leaked this…..’

    Final stage of collapse in any organisation surely when you start threatening your own.


  16. 30
    Slow learner says:

    Speech to Labour Conference………..
    ….In my first job as an organiser, I forgot to book a car to pick up a VIP from the airport for a by-election.

    He had to get a taxi, pay for it with his own money, and he wasn’t best pleased.

    Eventually, Gordon forgave me.


  17. 32
    Ah! Monika says:

    Another job for Leveson?


  18. 35
    Alex Salmond says:

    If the truth be told

    The Labour Party has become such a fucking joke since Empty Ed and his Snorting underlings too over from the Gurning Goon Brown (who is becoming a bog vote winner for me as well)

    That the only interest left is to ‘ack ‘em…

    Well done boys

    PS I am waiting for Eddy non-banana to come to Scotchland again and get laughed out of the country along with his Partie


    • 36
      Banana Boy Milliband, the most overrated man in Europe says:

      Do not be rude about my brother

      He is twying his best

      Unfortunately he has never gwown up

      I used to ask him if his balls had dropped

      He never answered


  19. 38
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I wish I knew who the deep throat was


  20. 41
    TRT says:

    What a load of daft wankers – and they want to run the country – well done Guido


  21. 43
    Editor of the Sunday Star Screws and News says:

    Hi Guido

    Coming up to publication time soon as you know…

    Can you provide me with some hot totty ? Sex stories ? Shirtlifters defrocked ?
    Homo gang bangs on the Parliamentary Estate ? or some sexually transmitted diseases exploding ?

    We are getting a bit thin on the ground concerning our usuals shags, WAGs, non-celebrities, non-royals, etc


    • 47
      Max Clifford, the best spinner of them all says:

      I think the Sunday Star would sell more copy if the whole of the front page were simply painted RED….

      And one huge nipple erect cameltoed Totty spread on page 3….


    • 50
      Archbishop Rowan Williams says:

      Here’s a true story about Elton….
      They had their sperm mixed together and a surrogate mother was artificially inseminated.

      When the baby was born Elton and David were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming.

      In the corner, one baby was lying serenely. A nurse came over to both of them and indicated that the happy child was theirs.
      “Isn’t it wonderful?” Elton asked David. “All these crying babies…and yet our baby is so content. This just proves the superiority of gay love!
      “The nurse said, “Oh sure, he’s happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the dummy out of his arse….


      • 57
        Editor of the Sunday Star Screws and News says:


        Now that will raise the level of my newspaper

        How much is your fee Archbish ?

        Or are you the only man in England telling funny stories without being paid ?


      • 70
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        Pinner County has a lot to answer for, eh Dwight?


  22. 45
    Ah! Monika says:

    Who leaked the email above? And who leaked the email about the email about the email,about the email, about…………….


    • 63
      Dr Spock says:

      They have obviously not heard of diapers in the Labour Party yet

      They should learn to contain their shit as in this video

      They are leaking disgustingly all over the place


  23. 53
    Joycebaiter says:

    Ferrets in a sack.


  24. 56
    Dr Freud said all women suffered from penis envy says:


    Who is this McMicol or whatever ?

    It seems he is great product of the Dundee Institute of Technoloy or some such make believe institution North of Hadrian’s Wall…………. and another fooking Scotch import..

    Do you think he can wipe his own arse without assistance ?

    Hardly surprising he runs a clusterfuck…


  25. 60
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Well – Mr McNichol – it’s no use crying over it. It’s up to you to find the bloody leak then!


  26. 64
    The imaginary bacon sandwich says:

    They are all useless troughers. What difference does it make, who gets what job or position? They are all pigs at the trough, scrounging coppers. Very disheartening.


  27. 66
    Do not want to share the same air as the Edinburgh dogshite says:

    They are all time wasting, uninspiring, scrounging hoons.


  28. 67
    Russian Oligarch and his bent City solicitors says:


    Just to keep you up to date

    I have bought the Labour Party..Very cheap compared with other parties in Europe…and no police or MI5 surveillance

    From now on they will be a complete shambles

    That way I will live in peace and luxury on my ill gotten gains without any lefties ever daring to open their mouths


  29. 69
    M Balotelli says:

    Guido, I think you mean “You’re either in front WITH Guido, or behind…”?


  30. 73
    not a machine says:

    I wonder if this question will be proposed at lib dem spring conference .

    “should the british tax payer pay for the failiure and lies of the Eurozone ”

    looks to me like a slightly perplexing spring conference season could be in the offing . will it be cooing love ins or silent ghastly eyewatering farts.


  31. 75
    Labour Party spokeswoman says:

    We are the white hot smoke of the Cocaine Revolution

    Now that Blue Skies Hilton has gone, we have an open field

    Can you organise our next rave party please Guido ?


    • 77
      Rasta Bob, your supplier north of the river says:

      My sales are dropping off in Westminster

      Who has left ?

      I think my old Westminster clients are moving to the homo clubs in Soho damn it…….


  32. 81
    Andrew says:

    Result, Guido!


  33. 82
    Ah! Monika says:

    Bureau of Investigative Journalism finds 10,000 edits on Wikipedia are directly traceable to within the Houses of Parliament
    Pages for one in six MPs were edited from within the Houses
    Edits included removing unflattering facts, adding praise, or slandering political enemies


  34. 85
    Gordon F Brown says:

    He should have been ‘personally sorry’ to be having anything whatsoever to do with that bunch of Miliband lead and Balls beaten bunch of losers.

    Did I say that?


  35. 86
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:


  36. 90
    Eric Alky Joyce says:

    I am untouchable like a fucking leper. The law is an ass. Get it up yah!


  37. 94
    annette curton says:

    So Joyce has been given a light tap on the wrist for GBH, so he was right after all when he said I am an MP (and I can do what the hell I like) no custodial sentence so he can hang on in there until 2015 and pick up at least £200,000 for FA, get your act together HOC, you are a disgraceful laughing stock.


    • 97
      nellnewman says:

      On his past record of claims that’s £200000pa expenses plus £65kpa salary plus £100kpa for office expenses .

      Over the four years to 2015 that’ll be £1, 460,000 in total.

      Oh yes labour knows how to bleed the taxpayer and get rich quick!!


      • 128
        Eric Joyce says:

        Fuck you all.

        Those commie bastards in the Labour Party have thrown me out so I will now sit on my arse and do fuck all – officially – just like Mong McBrown does.

        Fire me and you fire him.


        • 153
          Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

          Fear not you can come on a few taxpayer funded trips to eastern europe with me Eric. Staying in 5* hotels and as many young girls as you can cope with. That should cheer you up. Boaz.


          • Eric Joyce says:

            Cheers Handy, looks like we have a lot in common. Sign me up for the young girls in Russia and propose me for membership of the brotherhood with the Grand Master, just in case I get into trouble again.


  38. 95
    Afghanistan or Bradford? says:

    Men are fundamental and women are secondary.
    Woman cannot refuse to have sex with their husbands.
    Woman must wear the full hijab and respect polygamy.
    Women should not mingle with strange men in various social activities such as education, in bazaars, in offices.
    Women should not be beaten unless there is a sharia compliant reason.


  39. 103
    Takis Dapissa says:

    I come to England for benefits. Greece good for holidays. England good for benefits.


  40. 107
    Bìlly Bòwdén says:

    I’m always behind you. Lubed up and ready.


  41. 108
    Ironic says:

    Prescott is on Room 101 to say which things he’d like to send there. He’d be one of my choices.


  42. 114
    True says:


  43. 116
    nellnewman says:

    You’re either in front…..

    Well sallyalley is obviously behind because she’s been axed by the SundayStar.


  44. 118
    Ed Bollocks says:

    Who cares ?


  45. 121
    Mr E Joyce says:


    • 122
      nellnewman says:

      justice eh?

      Guess all those yobs in inner cities are looking at him and saying well if that’s all the courts are going to give me I’ll do it too.

      What a fine example.


      • 148
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Don’t blame the courts, blame the CPS who only charged him with assault and not what he should have been charged with ABH, resisting arrest and latterly assault. Of course it is no coincident that the he-ad of the CPS is yet another politically appointed socialist, Kier Starmer.


  46. 124

    Laws not applicable to Liebour MPs


    • 130
      rodders says:

      You can pay me Is 6p to suck my cock for charidee.


      • 134
        Some Geezer wot thinks this'un ^^ ain't old enough says:

        “One-and-six” was written “1s.6d” or “1/6″. Do you even remember pre-decimal?


        • 138
          rodders says:

          Congratulations, you’ve just exposed yourself as some sick old perv.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Has he really? Take a look at your previous post and then ask yourself just who the sick pervert actually is. Or can’t you do self analysis?


          • handbag swinger watch says:

            I’m willing to bet you can do self abuse perfectly you wanker, and BTW, who are you, his fucking boyfriend?


        • 145
          Lady Forkbender says:

          Pre-decimation, more like.


  47. 125
    nellnewman says:

    OK off to bed. Last thought for the night.

    Is labour ever going to produce a decent, selfless, community spirited, caring, thrifty, hardworking, genuine proper working class mp ever again?

    It certainly won’t be from it’s current ranks will it?

    Good Night. God Bless. Don’t led the bedbugs bite!


    • 139
      Milimimong's philosophy in a Nutshell says:

      “Is labour ever going to produce a decent, selfless, community spirited, caring, thrifty, hardworking, genuine proper working class mp ever again? ”

      BBZZZZT! BZZZZZT! Does not compute! All workers’ wages belong to Labour. All worker drones are slaves of Labour. All wages are Labour’s. Ours to spend. Ours to spend. Spend. Spend. Spend. Spend.


  48. 127
  49. 129
    Test Your Morals says:

    One Question, this test has only one question, but it is a very important one.
    By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
    The test features an unlikely, fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
    Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
    Please give due consideration to each line.


    You are in London.


    There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

    This is a flood of biblical proportions.

    You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

    The situation is nearly hopeless.

    You are trying to shoot career-making photos.

    There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water, screaming in fear and panic

    Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.


    Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

    He is fighting for his life, trying not to go down with the debris.

    You move closer… Somehow, the man looks familiar….

    You suddenly realize who it is…. It is the Muslim Cleric, Abu Hamza, the one-eyed, hook-handed bastard who hates non-Muslims and wants the UK to become an Islamic state!! (And who is as jealous as fuck because he skewers himself each time he scratches his balls or his arse)

    You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

    You have two options:

    1 – You can save the life of Abu

    2 – You can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country’s most despised, evil and powerful men!


    Here is the question, and please give an honest spontaneous answer….

    Do you select high contrast colour film, or go with the classic simplicity of black and white?


  50. 133
    Displaced Brummie says:

    McNicol, if you are too slow to let your4 staff know what is happening, how is that the fault of anyone but you?


  51. 135
  52. 137
    Il Capitano Costa the Brave says:

    Us I-ties are really brave. We would have paid a ransom to the Al Queda braves in Nigeria your Cam sent in the SBS all guns blazing. Our former Commie Presidente is not pleased.


  53. 140
    pissed in scotland says:


    Give me a fucking deep fried mars bar and a tin of super tenents


  54. 142
    not a machine says:

    tycoon tax …………… yes you lottery millionaires oopps

    I was a little unsure about Greece announcement and the now termed Lagarde plan , fine I understand a little of how the swap will work , but what sums are involved in CDS and where does that money come from ???


  55. 143
    albacore says:

    Now here’s a personal message from Dave
    (He’s biting his lip but he’s being brave):
    “Fellow countrymen, hope is fading fast
    For my cast iron migration forecast
    Since there’s no way I’ll stem the incoming flood
    Just why won’t you English all sod off for good?”


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