March 9th, 2012

Palace Estate of Mind


  1. 1
    Well done says:

    Thats out of Harriet Harmans phrase book.

  2. 2

    “U can’t touch this!” – EJ Hammered

  3. 3
    nellnewman says:

    Not for much longer he isn’t!

  4. 4
    Tony Bliar that straight kinda guy says:

    Bitter and twisted jock C.U.N.T………….Fuckin hang him……..

  5. 5
    Mike Hancock says:

    He’s right though. The police have been able to touch me, because I am an MP.

  6. 6
    Uncle Monty says:

    His cellmate might touch him. Hope he ends up with a ‘burglar’.

  7. 7
    T Blair, multi-millionaire says:

    You can’t touch me.

    I started illegal wars killing hundreds of thousands of civilians.
    I swamped England with immig4nts for party political gain.
    I let Gordon spend money like a drunk sailor to win elections.
    I shredded my expenses and got away with it.
    I destroyed what was left with the English constitution so Campbell and I could do whatever we wanted.
    I was instrumental in destroying English civil liberties.
    I sold England out to the E.U
    You can’t touch me. You’re paying for my security. Work hard, peasants, and pay your taxes. You can’t touch me.

  8. 8
    Rat's arse says:

    He’s nothing but an arrogant shite.

    What I want to know is why he hasn’t been charged with ABH/GBH. After all, he did draw blood didn’t he?

  9. 9
    tottenham chutzpah says:

    could we touch him for a fiver?

  10. 10
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Exactly. Assault just means someone felt threatened. Don’t understand why battery hasn’t been added.

  11. 11
    Sophie says:


  12. 12
    Well done says:

    He may have made a agreement with CPS, he will plead guilty to lesser charges and save the cost of a trail.

  13. 13
    Perse O'Nally says:

    Probably because the CPS bottled out.

  14. 14
    tess says:

    TORY MP Damian Green used his one phone call when he was arrested
    over Home Office leaks to ring Andy Coulson, the Leveson Inquiry has
    been told.

    The then shadow immigration minister
    chose to contact the former News of the World editor when held at a
    London police station on 27 November, 2008.
    Mr Coulson was then the Conservative Party’s director of communications.

    Yard assistant commissioner Bob Quick said in a written statement to
    the inquiry: “Green nominated Andy Coulson and was allowed to make one
    call to Mr Coulson.”

    Mr Quick told the inquiry on Wednesday that
    former Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson and
    ex-assistant commissioner John Yates both tried to persuade him to drop
    the controversial Damian Green investigation.

  15. 15
    Robert the crip says:

    Seems to be a few in the Labour party like this these days, waving cheques in the air leaving silly notes, telling people expenses, you cannot do nothing about it I’m an MP.

  16. 16
    annette curton says:

    But I can fondle you, it’s because I am an MP.

  17. 17
    Clink-clink says:

    I’ll have a pint of whatever he had. Piss-head thug.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Scum bucket and stinking hypocrite. An utter disgrace. Boot his arse out of Parliament and into jail. Better make sure he has some vaseline, though on second thoughts, why make it that easy?

  19. 19
    Hannibal from Carhage says:

    I understand that Mr Joyce was once a member of the British Armed Forces.

    However could that have happened?

  20. 20
    Well done says:

    No sent down

  21. 21
    Weybridgeman says:

    There is a scintilla if common sense here…..pleading guilty M’Lud is a sensible move given he is guilty a Sin – here to an 18 month jail term!

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    He had just found out that the four other MPs had shagged his 19 year old girlfriend.

  23. 23
    Some Geezer wot loves to see these fools taken down says:

    Self-important celebrity: “Do you know who I am?”
    PC Plod: “Yeah– you’re the bloke wot’s under arrest; I must caution you…”

  24. 24
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    The grey fox jumped over farmers fence searching for a chicken.

  25. 25
    Yup says:

    The CPS will do anything for an easy life, they never charge with the correct offence even if there is over whelming evidence of the offence and since they have become the prosecuting arm of the law our system has gone down the toilet with offenders never being held to account for failing to conform to their lenient sentences of community service, tagging or other rubbish punishments. He should have charged him with ABH and if he had pleaded not guilty gone to Crown Court to sort it out and sentencing. As he is an MP, he will stay as an MP because he probably will only get a fine rather than a prison sentence which could make him liable to be booted out of his office.
    Our lawmakers committing drunken assaults and still be allowed to pass laws on us mere moral…disgusting; anyone else in jobs of authority would be sacked ASAP.

  26. 26
    Yup says:

    So with his sentence he will stay a drunken loud mouth, self important, thuggish MP imposing laws on us. What a state of affairs our sorry arsed political system is. He should be sacked and an election held in his constituency. BTW he was crap in the Army.

  27. 27
    LibLabCon = All the same says:

    New figures released by the ONS show that once again immigration has risen under the supposedly ‘anti-immigration’ Conservative Party. In the year up to June 2011, a staggering 593,000 people flooded into the UK, an increase of 11,000 on the previous year, under a government that would have its gullible population believe that it is actually opposed to mass immigration.

    Net immigration also rose from last year, from 235,000 in June 2010 to 250,000 in June 2011. This is the number that David Cameron has pledged to reduce to the still-too-high ‘tens of thousands’ by 2014. However, contrary to all pledges, promises and cast-iron guarantees, the reality is that immigration is soaring, rapidly pushing the UK’s population ever closer towards the 70-million mark.

    The latest total has been swelled by a record deluge of third world immigrants arriving from ‘New Commonwealth’ countries in Africa, Asia and the Caribbean.

    Three-quarters of them came from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. Others arrived from African countries such as Nigeria and Kenya. Two-thirds allegedly came to study. All in all, 330,000 came from outside the EU.

    Statistics show that only 149,000 of those coming here – roughly one in four of the total inflow – came for work-related reasons. This was down seven percent from the corresponding previous 12 months.

    Asylum applications were also up, by 11 percent to 19,804, compared with 17,916 in 2010.

    Heading in the opposite direction were 143,000 Britons, 15,000 more than last year, many doubtlessly fleeing from the wonderful multicultural utopia they have voted themselves into. Overall, however, emigration has fallen to 343,000, ensuring the country becomes ever more crowded.

    The news comes shortly after reports that an incredible two-thirds of babies born in London now have at least one foreign parent. That figure rises to 84.1 percent in Newham, 81.2 percent in Westminster, and 79.1 percent in Kensington and Chelsea.

    Immigration into Britain has continued at a rate of approximately 600,000 per annum since Labour opened the floodgates to Eastern Europe in 2004. From then on, all of the three ‘main’ parties have had their time in office, and each one, while pretending to listen to the population’s concerns about immigration, has kept the influx at the same intolerable level.

  28. 28

    Because the “Sweaties” are f*cking brilliant at fighting! It just makes a lot of them unstable husbands and unsuited to civilised debate when under the influence of anything stronger than Irn Bru.

    So don’t wind one up or marry one who’s piss*d – should have gone down for a stretch though, even if it was just his ar*ehole.

  29. 29
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    No jail for Joyce!

    12 Month ‘community order’ and a fine.

    What a farce.

  30. 30
    Ash Ken the Question says:

    Very funny :D

  31. 31
    Jimmy says:

    I thought that was Damien Green’s line.

  32. 32
    Princess XXX says:

    Yes but they did sod all about it, pervert.

  33. 33
    Richard Timney says:

    Now that Jacqui Smith is not an MP does that make her touchable?

  34. 34
    Popeye says:

    Is this really true?
    Looks good for the alleged speeding and liar MP?

  35. 35
    strawbs says:

    clearly causing an affray

    two to five years

  36. 36
    jgm2 says:

    Precedent has been set. He nutted an MP and was only fined 3000 quid total and 350 quid damages per victim. I make that 750 quid per assault plus 350 quid compensation per person.

    So with this precedent I reckon you can beat the shit out of any MP you like and be looking at only 1100 quid in total and no jail time. Worth every fucking penny I’d have thought.

  37. 37
    Rob says:

    The BBC describes it as a ‘brawl’, slyly inferring that his victim(s) were fighting with him. It was in fact no more a ‘brawl’ than a street mugging is a ‘brawl’.

  38. 38
    PG Tips says:

    Reminds me of the idiotic Labour councillor who was a driving instructor outside of his expenses-cushioned part of the day and, in his year as the local mayor, was caught by police taking his driving school car the wrong way down a one-way street. On being apprehended and asked to turn around, he displayed that unique blend of stupidity and arrogance known only to elected nobodies and uttered the immortal words “do you know who I am?”, to which PC Plod could only reply “yes – it says on the top of your car”.

  39. 39
    The police (no not the band fool) says:

    We don’t need to touch , just feel the collar

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers