March 5th, 2012

UKIP’s Young and Old Jumpers

UKIP must be doing something right when even the liberal metropolitan elite are discussing their high profile defections over macchiatos this morning. In the Guardian, Sir Michael White thinks he has found the future leader of the Eurosceptics, and he’s not talking about Roger Helmer MEP, who finally had enough of Sayeeda Warsi and jumped from the Tories this weekend:

“Smartly dressed and well-spoken, sporting long blonde hair and 3in heels, she does not fit the Ukip stereotype. No blazer and regimental tie, no beard or beer gut, Swann is researching a PhD on 19th century social Darwinism and the small state”

The lines from former CF Chairman Alexandra Swann’s speech that could really stick “are this Liberal Democrat led government” and David Cameron being “as true a Conservative as Belgium is a real country.” She certainly got the room going…


  1. 1
    See says:

    The problem with UKIP apart from having one policy, is that apart from Farage they are mainly filled with oddballs.

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    What are sexual relations?

  3. 3
    DisgustedOfMitcham2 says:

    And if the comparison with other UKIP members means that Farage doesn’t look like an oddball, then UKIP *really* have a problem

  4. 4
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Offer her an unpaid intern position at once, chaps.

  5. 5
    Ah! Monika says:

    The smoked salmon is ‘awful’ and the pork escallops are a ‘disgrace': What peers said about their exclusive cafeteria (which costs us £1.44m a year to subsidise)

    Read more:

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Cameron Bridge says:

    “Everyone strolls over me”

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Lord Pearson says:

    We’ve checked her out and she is a real hetrosexual woman and has never been made bankrupt. We learned our lesson with Nikki Sinclaire.

  10. 10
    Major Eyeswater says:

    Do you consider many of the current Westminster tribe “normal”? Which of the UKIP policies do you consider “odd”, speaking as a tory, obviously?

  11. 11
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Nothing will happen within the next 3 years that can result in a mass defection to one of the three main parties to the other, unless millitwit gets lessons from putin on how to win elections-look ed areoflot do regular flights from lhr to mos

  12. 12
  13. 13
    anonymous says:

    ukip if you want to

    this lad’s not for churning

  14. 14
    bring back Maggie says:

    I would be the leader of UKIP now, its the true home of conservatism left in this country

  15. 15
    anonymous says:

    oh do fuck off you cheating lying fuck

  16. 16
    Rob's Uncle says:

    ‘lead government’ should be ‘led government’.

  17. 17
    Fatty Arbuckle says:

    I’m having a mass defection to the seaside

  18. 18
    Steve Miliband says:

    For a minute there I thought we were in a coalition with the Lib Dems

  19. 19
    Coco says:

    No it’s ain’t!!

    it’s the bin end of right wing idiots and fascists

  20. 20
    TRT says:

    As a conservative supporter all my life, albeit with a lot of misgivings, I have to say Cameron is turning into a real serious dissapointment. ‘Liberal lead government’ certainly rings true on so many issues. Either that two faced idiot Clegg is genuinely running the ship or Cameron is working to a low key plan that will shaft the Lib Dems for good. Do hope its the latter.

    Or is Cameron two faced as well?

  21. 21
    Lead Zeppellin says:

    not if yer into heavy metal

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    this isn’t liberalism – it’s fascism

  23. 23
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    The fact that people are getting overexcited about that there is now one female member of UKIP without a blue rinse is very telling.

    These are, by the way, the same people who went a long way towards stopping the Tories getting a majority.

    Labours best friend vote splitting crusty old fuckers that they are.

  24. 24

    I’ll raise you ten pounds.

  25. 25
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Well has got my Top Totty Vote

  26. 26
    misterned says:

    Which ONE policy are you referring to?
    Return of Grammar schools
    Scrapping university fees
    Cutting costs on defence procurement and increasing the spend on front line,
    Bringing troops home and using them for defence of BRITISH territory
    Not getting involved in illegal overseas wars which do not concern us
    Scrapping ECHR in UK law.
    Creating common sense bill of rights which treats CONVICTED criminals AS criminals and law abiding citizens as law abiding
    Scrapping ACTA
    Scrapping liberty destroying laws.
    More front line policing
    Immigration changes
    Farming and Agriculture moving away from costly EU schemes
    Fishing and fisheries, returning the UK fishing territory
    energy and climate change
    Stopping wasting billions on useless windmills and investing in nuclear and new energy sources which work.
    Elected house of Lords
    English Parliament
    More Local and national referenda
    and many many more….

    Which of those above is the ONE issue policy?

    Or are you a scared tory fuckwit pushing more lies?

  27. 27
    sandy says:

    Odd how they only become oddballs when they leave the Tories to join UKIP.

  28. 28
    Whitestones says:

    Save us from PPE graduates. All theory, and no knowledge of the real world.

  29. 29
    See says:

    No, because the only thing you ever hear them bang on about is thier EU policy (which i do support).

  30. 30
    misterned says:

    Oh, I forgot, GIVING US ALL THE REFERENDA ON EU MEMBERSHIP! Unlike the other lying sack of shit parties who have ALL lied and backtracked.

    The other three parties have tried running this country and they have ALL failed us.

    UKIP cannot do any worse! and a LOT of what they say is good, decent, common sense and they are the ONLY mainstream party who stand up FOR the British.

    Tory, labour, Libdem? They all repeat EU mantra.

  31. 31
    sandy says:

    Ten days before it collapsed Brown was praising Lehmans for its ‘inventiveness’.

  32. 32
    misterned says:

    Well I have heard them banging on about all the above. The reason they mainly bang-on about the EU, is because the EU now interferes and dominates so many other policies.

  33. 33
    The reality says:

    UKIP’s policies and there are four pages of them.

  34. 34
    sandy says:

    I’m having a mass defecation, which will also end up at the seaside.

  35. 35
    Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

    Just shoot him. It’s quick, easy, cheap and, above all, humane. Not that he deserves to be treated humanely.

  36. 36
    I am mad says:

    Why put all the good work done by the LibLabCon in the past few decades at risk by voting for UKIP?

    Just because you may agree with some of their policies like taking control of our borders, retaking sovereignty from the EU or calling bullshit on the ecotards Global Warming myth, does not mean you should desert the heroes of the mainstream parties who continue to steer our nation on the path to greatness.

  37. 37
    sandy says:

    You’re a clown.

  38. 38
    misterned says:

    Oops, how could I forget taking the poorest people (minimum wage) out of income tax altogether, and creating a single fair rate of tax for everyone.

  39. 39
    Lady Penelope Droit de Seigneur says:

    Ours come once a year.

  40. 40
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Surely beard and beer gut are more associated with socialists and trade unionist. When you think of beards and beer guts on politicians surely Charles Clarke is the first name to spring to mind.

  41. 41
    Dave says:

    I am a real Tory.

    That is why I want to marry homosexuals, force India to accept British taxpayer money, cover our countryside with windmills and go hacking with Rebekah.

  42. 42
    See says:

    In that case i shall have read of there next election manifesto if they put a candidate up in my area.

    With a open mind.

  43. 43
    Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

    Cameron’s turning into a disappointment? Shouldn’t have got your hopes up. I never had faith in him in the first place. It’s saved me the time and effort of ever trusting him.

  44. 44

    Ride a White Swann – T Rexx

    Ride it on out like a bird in the sky ways
    Ride it on out like you were a bird
    Fly it all out like an eagle in a sunbeam
    Ride it on out like you were a bird

    Wear a tall hat like a druid in the old days
    Wear a tall hat and a tattooed gown
    Ride a white swan like the people of the Beltane
    Wear your hair long, babe, you can`t go wrong

    Catch a bright star and place it on your fore-head
    say a few spells and baby there you go
    Take a black cat
    sit it on your shoulder
    and in the morning you`ll know all you know


  45. 45
    Lady Penelope Droit de Seigneur says:

    Cameron isn’t that bright.

  46. 46
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    EUKIP are going nowhere, just like for the past 18 years. Biggest problem is Farage who won’t let anyone of substance stay because they rapidly realise Farage is a fraud who’s interested in filling his pockets to the max in EU expenses. The history of EUKIP is littered with competent people who have rapidly departed after getting the measure of Farage and his cronies.

    Latest batch of election results bear out that the majority of voters don’t trust EUKIP, which considering the fiasco in Europe EUKIP should be picking votes by the shed load.

    Horsham District – Itchingfield, Slinfold and Warnham: C 557, Lib Dem 320, Ukip 173, Green 65, Lab 60.
    UKIP down by 103 since last May.

    North West Leicestershire District – Ibstock and Heather: Lab 480, Lib Dem 372, C 357, Ind 125, Green 32, Ukip 26.

    Oadby and Wigston Borough – Oadby Woodlands: C 454, Lib Dem 360, Ukip 151.

    Sutton London Borough – Worcester Park: Lib Dem 1367, C 977, Lab 315, Ukip 190, Green 46.
    UKIP down by 344 since May 2010

    Staffordshire County – Leek South: C 725, Ukip 556, Lab 432, Lib Dem 419, Moorlands Democratic Alliance 336, Ind 192. UKIP lose seat, down from 1766, to give C gain from Ukip. Bet that one grates…

    Staffordshire Moorlands District – Leek North: Lab 514, Ukip 188, C 178, Moorlands Democratic Alliance 33, Lib Dem 24 . Lab gain from Ukip. Swing 19.1% Ukip to Lab.

    Hampshire County – Winchester Southern Parishes: C 1661, Lib Dem 1038, Ukip 133, Green 130, Lab 124.
    Ukip down from 557

    Northamptonshire County – Towcester: Lib Dem 1279, C 638, Ukip 124, BNP 66.

    South Lakeland District – Windermere Town: Lib Dem 418, C 85, Lab 50, Ukip 20.

    South Northamptonshire District – Towcester Brook: Lib Dem 774, C 401, Ukip 129.
    Ukip down from 266.

  47. 47
    The Major says:

    Mine’s a Gin Fawlty!

  48. 48
    Bob Crow is a baby says:

    i am a big fat baby, a baby who will cwy if you don’t give me more pennies

  49. 49
    polythesis says:

    Vote UKIP, that is if you want to actually have your own country making its own laws and promoting and defending the interests of British people. And a government that is not in the pay of the new world order.

    On the other hand, if you want your nation to become a subject slave region of an undemocratic and corrupt Franco German dominated empire, if you want your leaders to place the interests of foreigners first and if you think the UK should be destroyed then vote liblabcon.

    Simple choice. Vote liblabcon and get a Belgium style non entity rubbish bin, vote UKIP and get your country back.

  50. 50
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Even if your ludicrous suggestion that UKIP only have one policy were true. You have to admit, getting control of this country back from unelected EU apparatchiks, placemen, crooks and assorted “former” communist politicians, is no bad thing.

    All Cameron & Co have to offer, is more of the same old tired shit.

  51. 51
    Sophie says:

    Morning. I see the CameronHome trolls have been let out – real panic in Tory ranks now.

    Stick with Heath 2 then, See.

    UKIP will deny the Conservative Party a majority in 2015 – if Cameron lasts that long.

    Blue Labour – FO.

  52. 52
    the Bleedin obvious says:

    Which party is more likely to get the UK out of the EU?

    Lib Dems?
    Tory majority govt?

  53. 53
    Gordon Brown says:

    Fat Baby Crow, I would give you more pennies if I was still in charge of the nursery

  54. 54
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    She can come and work for me.

  55. 55
    misterned says:

    Cameron stopped the tories from getting a majority.

    Cameron was 22 points ahead in the polls when he was promising to veto Lisbon. UKIP made him an offer to not put up a UKIP candidate against any tory who would vote for a referendum. UKIP offered to guarantee him his majority, if only he would STICK to his own promise.

    Cameron would rather see labour win an election, than keep his own promise to his own party.

    If you must blame anyone, Blame the man who was GIVEN the power to kill off UKIP, by UKIP themselves, and instead rejected that, broke his own promise and lost a majority! That was Cameron.

    Why should UKIP supporters vote tory to get liberal labour policies?

    I did not spend years fighting Blairite policies only to see the tories EMBRACE them!

    What do you want? Shit government with a blue rosette on? or the same shit government with a red rosette on? Personally, I want a decent government, and you cannot get that from liberal, tory or labour.

    You CANNOT vote for change AND vote for any of the main three parliamentary parties. They are the SAME!

  56. 56
    misterned says:


    ALL the others are dedicated totally to remaining in the EU and have said so many many many many times.

  57. 57
    Some Geezer wot couldn't resist says:

    You’ve gotta lotta bottle, you ‘ave!

  58. 58
    See says:

    i take it you did not see my reply to *Misterned* then?

  59. 59
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    Now you know why I want a Peerage. Foreign visits are also involved. Got to keep troughing, troughing…

  60. 60
    Sophie says:

    Fantastic to see many old friends joining us in UKIP – the Conservative Party in exile.

    Tory grassroots in despair & disarray – I very much doubt they can get the vote out for Heath 2 now – let alone the hard working canvassers & voluntary staff.

    It comes to something when the local Conservative club is regularly playing videos of Nigel Farages speeches in the bar – I have never seen them play a Cameron video.

    Vote UKIP.

  61. 61
    boredom personified says:

    Get your own blog.

  62. 62
    Popeye says:

    I note she has as high opinion of Cameron as I do. With people like Farage, Helmer and Swann, UKIP is obviously on the right track. Now the difficult bit, they have to widen their appeal.

  63. 63
    Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon, trougher, europhile and closet socialist says:

    I’m in charge now, not that you’d notice.

  64. 64
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Lucky b*stard. Boaz.

  65. 65
    Sophie says:

    * Applause *

  66. 66
    Perse O'Nally says:

    Well said. This is one Tory voter of many years standing who will NOT vote Tory again. We have been lied to, conned, you name it.

  67. 67
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    They’re oddballs when they’re in the Tories. It’s raising their heads above the parapet that invites the shots. All party members are oddballs by definition, whichever party they’re in.

  68. 68
    Bill 'Smokin' Clinton says:

    Something I did not have with that woman Hilary.

  69. 69
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    Farage, No matter what you think of him, HE TELLS THE TRUTH, Very dangerous to the Political Elite.
    A bit like Ron Paul, no wonder the media want to portray him as a bit of a loon, He has some Balls going up against the State.

  70. 70
    TRT says:

    How right the last three comments are – looking back I think it was a case of ANYTHING would be better than the previous excuse for a Prime Minister. I was wrong. Is it really a case that they are all the B same.

  71. 71
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Some of us took the fact that Tories lie and cn in with our mother’s milk you know. What took you so long?

  72. 72
    the Bleedin obvious says:

    Lisbon was signed by Brown, therefore irrelevant
    All UKIP does is deny a Tory majority, the party most likely to get out of the EU.
    I want out of the EU, but am a realist as it will not be as easy as saying we’re out.
    The EU will implode on itself anyway

  73. 73
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Blimey. A believer. Frightening.

  74. 74
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    You Tory trolls must be terminally thick or suffer from Alzheimers. UKIP offered idiot Dave a free run at the last GE, in return for a referendum. Call Me Bollocks promptly said no chance and the rest is history. You shit in your own tent, de-al with it.

  75. 75
    Ichabod says:

    As Voltaire said, in England it is necessary to execute a Cabinet Minister, ex or serving, from time to time, to beef up the others..

  76. 76
    TRT says:

    10 years of dishonest and thieving socialists (ok tories just as bad)

  77. 77
    Bob says:

    Sounds like the B*P policies.

    One thing i did like in the B*P policy was the high security prison on the Falklands, this also then means we station a few hundred more soldiers there as well.

  78. 78
    PennyRed says:

    Even I wouldn’t say vote SWP instead of Labour!

  79. 79

    Has anyone else spotted the advert at the bottom of “Sir” Michael’s article for TaxSlayer.

    Surely the scourge of tax avoidance isn’t accepting filthy lucre from companies that promote ways to reduce one’s tax bill.

  80. 80
    George says:

    Bullets cost money. What’s wrong with a rope?

  81. 81
    Gonk says:

    UKIP have momentum. The Welsh Rugby team have momentum.
    David Cameron has inertia and Ed Miliband doesn’t have anything.

  82. 82
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Closely followed by Lard Pressclot, Tom Fatson, Diane Fattgutt and assorted socialist porkers, who, true to their hypocrisy gene, lecture everyone else about their diet and lifestyle.

  83. 83
    Ed Miliband says:

    Vote UKIP!

  84. 84
    Ex-Tory says:

    He he! Excellent!

  85. 85
    DementedGordo says:

    I need some shit on Ed. I want my old job back!

  86. 86
    Raving Loon says:

    The CONservative party should be sued for false advertising. They may have been conservative at one point, but they’re mostly soppy liberals and social democrats now. UKIP may not be perfect, but they’re a lot closer to what conservatives actually believe in their heart.

  87. 87
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Socialists generally find the ide-a of personal liberty and democratic will of the people frightening. That is why they work so tirelessly to subvert them.

  88. 88
    East India Company wallah says:

    I would’nt get too excited,everything about this woman smacks of establishment stooge plant

  89. 89
    Lord Wayne of trombone says:

    CHUKA –

    what are you views on STAMP DUTY on LARGE house purchases made by families?

  90. 90
    misterned says:

    Cameron denies the tories a majority.

    Why would Cameron prefer to see labour win an election, than grant the majority of people in this country a referendum?

  91. 91
    Perse O'Nally says:

    It may have taken me a long time but I’m here now….and a member of UKIP.

  92. 92
    Steve Miliband says:

    How many MP’s do they have again?

  93. 93
    Leslie Philips says:

    Mmmm Alexandra Swann… bang on !

  94. 94
    Spartacus says:

    lisbon once signed is not irrelevant – that is bleedin obvious

    EU will implode on itself anyway – take a look at grease – they are being subsumed into the new order – its bleedin obvious there is no implosion, or likely to be

    and altogether now
    ‘when goering says they’ll never bomb this place, say . . . ‘

  95. 95
    Leslie Philips says:

    You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

  96. 96
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I love the way some here call UKIP ‘oddballs’ so what about the following fuckwits then?

    Cherie Bliar
    The Eagle brothers

    Are you suggesting that bunch are not fucking oddballs? They make UKIP look like the sanest people on the planet. Just how many wars did these c u n t z start? They’ve totally trashed our economy and education system and allowed every bushy bearded twat this side of Mecca into the UK to preach and practice their barbaric hate filled religion.

  97. 97
    misterned says:

    Some say it is better to be outside a tent pissing in. Others that it is better to be inside the tent pissing out. Cameron is inside the tory tent pissing on all the other tories.

    And some tories drink his piss whilst blaming UKIP for him doing that!

  98. 98
    Legal crook says:

    Anyway what about a petition to put Brown in the dock.

  99. 99
    gildedtumbril says:

    She should have gone to specsavers, surely?

  100. 100
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Brown should suffer the fate of William Wallace. It’s only fair :-)

  101. 101
    angus says:

    When Osborne introduces a mansion tax/higher council tax bands watch more Tories join the UKIP bandwagon.

  102. 102
    David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Even if they had only policy it would be better than the same old one crap policy of LibLab Con.

    UKIP for me. I will never vote Tory while U turn Dave is about.

  103. 103
    Legal crook says:

    We should have smelt a rat when Labour abolished the death penalty for Treason in 1998.

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Since when has rope been free, there’s plenty of lochs up there.

  105. 105
    AC1 says:

    And the “essential” bailouts, or supporting Greece in the Euro.

    Thanks to the pick any of the 3 get the same Consensus among our PPE “studying” classes.

    Which is worrying as Farages new pretty thing is a PPE drone too. Keep her in front of the cameras and away from the policies.

  106. 106
    AC1 says:

    “Scrapping university fees” one I disagree with. Students should be able to claim unemployment equivalent benefit (subject to attendance and good grades), but pay the whole cost (as they are the one’s hopefully gaining new skills, and thus higher pay).

  107. 107
    Polly pot says:

    I support a mansion tax!
    As long it’s a tax on property over £1,350,000 and doesn’t include overseas property or the totals of a property portfolio.

  108. 108
    misterned says:

    “EU will implode on itself anyway – take a look at grease – they are being subsumed into the new order – its bleedin obvious there is no implosion, or likely to be”

    And Cameron is not only in agreement with it, he is spending BILLIONS trying to keep the whole corrupt shebang going! HE is using OUR money to bail out Greece. And the tories are still applauding him.

    IF the EU implodes, (And Cameron will spend us all into servitude to prevent it) it will be NO thanks to Cameron’s tories.

    He states over and over and over that he will NEVER allow a referendum on membership of the EU. The referendum lock is there to LOCK US OUT of a membership referendum.

    Now answer the question… When I as a devoted and LOYAL tory for so many years, pounding the streets in 1997 – 1995 to campaign and fight Blairite policies, WHY THE FUCK should I support a conservative party which has now EMBRACED most of them?

    HOW can I vote for change, when NONE of the main Parliamentary parties are offering any change at all?

    How many times does Cameron have to bow down and suck on Clegg’s cock, before you blind tories realise you have been taken for a fucking ride and you are being laughed at by the piss taking Blairite third way traitors who suck EU cock every day?

    Why should I vote for a tory party led by a man who would rather see labour win an election, than give the people the referendum that they DO want?

    Why should I vote for a tory party offering EXACTLY THE SAME policies on defence, immigration, divisive political correctness, law and order, Climate and Energy, tax & spend,(to 1% difference) and so many other areas as LABOUR and LIBERALS?

    How can I vote FOR lower immigration? Local and national democracy delivered via referenda? A single fair rate of tax for everyone? Scrapping the Human Rights Act ad replacing it with a common sense Bill of Rights? Scrapping ACTA? reducing the size of the state? and so so so many other policies I would love to see? HOW?

    The tories are NOT going to do any of the above, They will continue implementing Blairite policies and sucking EU cock! So WHY should I vote for them?

  109. 109
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Why Helmer joined UKIP.

  110. 110
    WonderfulSamantha says:

    Also, he/she is an idiot. “it’s ain’t”? I got expelled from 2 top US prep schools and know stuff such as this.

  111. 111
  112. 112
    misterned says:

    When they are the ONLY national party offering decent, common sense policies, then there is nowhere else to go.

  113. 113
    Gordon is a ... says:

    I lowered the PM’s salary when I LEFT office.
    Ha ha ha.

    What a C’nt I am.

  114. 114
    nellnewman says:

    The political establishment in the UK at the moment look like a ragbag of third world self-serving politicians all trying to feather their own nests before everything comes crashing down around their heads.

    UKIP are very commendable and politically attractive but alas in political terms absolutely toothless.

    Lord knows where the man or woman of the moment is going to come from with the balls and charisma to restore the UK’s & Westminsters respectability and credibility but it’s not going to be anyone from any political party that is currently in office.

  115. 115
    AC1 says:

    Looks like the Heathites cant’ take the heat.

  116. 116
    AC1 says:

    Oh I think you’re going a bit far with that one.

    Dave Heath is just useless. Gordo was actively wrecking the country.

  117. 117
    R.I.P. says:

  118. 118
    misterned says:

    When the supporters of the three main Parliamentary parties have to resort to ad Hominem attacks as above, you know that they cannot engage you on the issues, because they know that UKIP’s actual policies are so good!

    So long as they call me a nutter, I know I am following the right party. Once they debate me on flat tax rate, local and national democracy delivered through referenda, Treating convicted criminals like criminals and not like respectable law abiding citizens, and treating respectable law abiding citizens like potential terrorists, getting our Fisheries back, getting our Farmers working efficiently under UK rules, Getting opportunities for all pupils based solely on ability through grammar schools, reducing immigration, promoting British industry, manufacturing, and businesses aggressively all over the world, and rational evidence based climate and energy policies, and so on…. Then I’ll begin to wonder if there is a rational alternative.

    The LAST thing tories actually want to tackle UKIP on are our actual policies, because then, self-respecting tories will have to defend “lefty social democratic” policies, instead of common sense policies.

    Far easier for them to hurl childish and palpably false insults instead, as labour were forced to do at the end of their 13 years of catastrophic misrule.

  119. 119
    misterned says:

    AC1, did you see her speech? Her views on the policies of UKIP are SPOT ON!

    She also said how refreshing it is to no longer be censored by her party.

    Says it all really!

  120. 120
    George says:

    Then you have to provide some sort of transport to get him there, which also would cost money. But I see your point. Old bootlaces should do the trick.

  121. 121
    misterned says:

    I welcome your positive contribution then, See. :)

  122. 122
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Not only were you a disaster as a chancellor and prime minister, you are also a very low quality person.

  123. 123
    Jimmy says:

    Isn’t he literally an oddball?

  124. 124
    Spartacus says:

    mansion tax, oh you meant the politics of envy?

  125. 125
    The Golem says:

    Still, it is a long time until the next GE, if we’re allowed to have one, so it will be fun to watch. Nigel’s a good talker but he won’t win any seats on the domestic front by himself.

  126. 126
    misterned says:

    Agreed, Brown was worse, as is Miliband, but the point is the EU is intent on carving us up and swallowing us entirely. Does it matter if they do it with a garnish of blue, or red?

    I would rather we got our own power to set our own laws again, and as a bonus, had loads of great common sense policies as well.

    That is why I will be voting UKIP.

    I mean, If (according to tories) I should not vote UKIP as that will give us a labour government, then I may as well vote labour to kill this country off a bit quicker than the tories currently will and get it over with.

    But I would rather vote to SAVE this country and the tories show no prospect of ever offering that option. That is why I will vote UKIP.

  127. 127
    Spartacus says:

    a more appropriate question is how many conservative mps have they stopped getting into office?

    in case you have not seen this before, these are election results

    Bolton West:
    Labour 18,329; Conservative 18,235; UKIP 1,901
    Derby North:
    Labour 14,896; Conservative 14,283; UKIP 829
    Derbyshire NE:
    Labour 17,948: Conservative 15,503; UKIP 2,636
    Dorset mid & Poole:
    Labour 21,100; Conservative 20,831; UKIP 2,109
    Dudley North:
    Labour 14,923; Conservative 14,274; UKIP 3,267
    Great Grimsby:
    Labour 10,777: Conservative 10,063: UKIP 2,043
    Hampstead & Kilburn:
    Labour 17,332; Conservative 17,290; UKIP 408
    Middlesbrough South:
    Labour 18,138; Conservative 16,461; UKIP 1,881
    Morley (Ed Balls):
    Labour 18,365; Conservatives 17,264; UKIP 1,506
    Labour 16,393; Conservatives 14,841; UKIP 3,491
    Plymouth Moor View:
    Labour 15,433; Conservatives 13,845; UKIP 3,188
    Liberal 23,635; Conservatives 23,460; UKIP 1,200
    Somerton & Frome:
    Liberal 28,793; Conservatives 26,976; UKIP 1,932
    Southampton Itchen:
    Labour 16,326; Conservatives 16,134; UKIP 1,928
    St Austell & Newquay:
    Liberal 20,189; Conservatives 18,877; UKIP 1,757
    St Ives:
    Liberal 19,619; Conservatives 17,900; UKIP 2,560
    Labour 15,977; Conservatives 14,996; UKIP 2,428
    Walsall North:
    Labour 13,385; Conservatives 12,395; UKIP 1,737
    Walsall South:
    Labour 16,211; Conservatives 14,456; UKIP 3,449
    Liberal 24,560; Conservatives 23,760; UKIP 1,711
    Wirral South:
    Labour 16,276; Conservatives 15,745; UKIP 1,274

  128. 128
    A Prick Pretending to be PM says:

    I say!!

    That’s dashed unfair!!

    I do know what I’m doing, – I really do!!

    And my pose at the podium underlines my words – for instance, – to be forceful on um ….

  129. 129
    nellnewman says:

    well don’t forget he’s also a failure as an mp and an author……..

  130. 130
    Georgia Gould says:

    What? You can overlook Harriet Harman? Are you a pervert?

  131. 131
    da Inquirer says:

    Sill person!

  132. 132
    nellnewman says:

    the fate of williamwallace is in no way enough for the crimes gordy has committed against us all,

    Needs to be something far worse than that

  133. 133
    Really? says:

    Won’t somebody think of the suffering of the fish!?!

  134. 134
    nellnewman says:

    oops! that was in answer to 100 above

  135. 135
    Really? says:

    Looks like someones’ stolen AC1 nom d’aplomb to me..

  136. 136
    misterned says:


    Very true!

  137. 137
    Gonk says:

    May actually not be a person. More like a strange culture
    found in a petri dish in a moneylenders bog.

  138. 138
    SO? - isn't just so bleedin' obvious? says:

    Let the Tories adopt some proper Tory policies, and if truthfully implemented UKIP people might start to drift back!

    But time after time the lying chief weasel has shot any trust he might have got by promising one thing and then doing another.

    AND don’t bang on about UKIP being so low in numbers! They may crucially be key one day.

    Anyway, you thick Tory twats, enjoy your brief moments with your chosen one!

  139. 139
    Major Eyeswater says:

    Very interesting. So in each case where the Tories won, the number of defectors from Tory to UKIP sufficient to cost the tories the seat at the next election is:

    Horsham: 119 out of 557
    Oadby and Wigston: 48 out of 454
    Staffs County: 85 out of 725
    Hamps County: 312 out of 1661

    Hmm. Doesn’t seem impossible does it?

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    For a site that prides itself on tittle tattle and gossip I’m surprised that you failed to mention that the Tory MP David Morris (45 year old) was caught in a compromising position with the trollop last year. Oh, and that she was his researcher at the time. Even Toilets Maguire’s rag were able to scoop you on that. If I was Farage’s wife I’d make sure she was fitted with a chastity belt before she tempts hubby.

    An MA in Human Rights Law ffs- so obviously someone who be unable to hold down a proper job if her life depended on it. She’s a Trojan horse and a blatant one at that.

  141. 141
    Jingle Balls says:

    +1000 Misterned

  142. 142
    chickennnnnnnn says:

    so, what will it take for cowards like Redwood, Cash, Bone, Hannan or Carswell to defect from a Conservative Party which clearly isnt moving in the direction they desire…

  143. 143
    (L)och aye the noo says:

    Good idea – feed him to the Loch Ness Monster! Sell tickets to the Yanks and we’ll halve the debt in one weekend.

  144. 144
    (L)och aye the noo says:

    Are Lady Virginia and Lady penelope related? I think we should be told. Cont p94…

  145. 145
    More Ukippers says:

    It will take more than a blond to save Ukip. More money, more members and a devolved English Parliament will help.

  146. 146
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    + another 1

  147. 147
    Let us relieve you of the burden of voting says:

    In the post-democratic world, there’s no need for the little people to worry over things like economics, immigration and sovereignty.

  148. 148
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Double applause!

  149. 149
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    So wet he walked in a permanent puddle of water…

  150. 150
    Farage is barking says:

    Belgium is a real country in the sense that the UK is a real country.
    Belgium dates from 1830, the UK from 1707.

  151. 151
    sandy says:

    Unlike the Tories who have the same Lib dem and Labour policies.

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:

    No Ugly Duckling – Swann’s song for UKIP:

  153. 153
    Roger says:

    Thats a misconception many people still have about UKIP that its a one policy party which they are not.. If you look at their manifesto they have policies for every issue/topics..

  154. 154
    Really? says:

    Subverting them with extreme prejudice is their method of choice.

  155. 155
    Steve Clarke says:

    UKIP – mainstream? BNP with blazers.

  156. 156
    Steve Clarke says:

    Yes they do, yet all we hear from them is their tireless greeting about the pumping EU. If they hate the EU so much they should take a leaf out of Sinn Fein’s book and refuse to sit, they won’t of course because they are hooked on the money and Brussels coffee shops.

  157. 157
    thatevilright-winger says:

    such a bad pun.

    Still a very good speech

  158. 158
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    Well delivered speech for a newby.

    Options for Swann in GE:

    Top 5 UKIP targets by % UKIP vote:

    Buckingham 22.1%
    Boston & Skegness 9.5%
    Spelthorne 8.5%
    Christchurch 8.5%
    Dudley North 8.4%

    Swann fight in one of these!

  159. 159
    the one who must not be named says:

    oh you went there

    Ukip for the win

  160. 160
    Anon says:

    Why are you assuming those UKIP voters would have otherwise voted Conservative?

  161. 161
    E Blackadder says:

    No, the politics of peace, freedom and a few less fat bastards eating all the pie

  162. 162
    St George Spits says:

    They must’ve been paid to go to Skegness in Feb/March.

  163. 163
    Solly says:

    BNP = 1970’s Socialists with Extreme Immigration Policy.

  164. 164
    Flocking Pole says:

    What she is not is TOTTY, grimacing like a spoilt child after every few sentences.

  165. 165

    Anonymong, can you tell us if Toilets Maguire knew about Eric Joyce’s schoolgirl bed partner over the past two years?

  166. 166

    One story I would like to hear fully is the one the News of the World had about ten years ago about a front bench Labour M.P. who allowed blokes to shag his wife while he watched. Apparently the story was spiked when Alistair Campbell dropped them information about Tory MP Piers Merchant’s dalliance with a 17 year old as a sweetener.

    I remember this mentioned in Private Eye some years ago have wondered ever since who the socialist voyeur was.

  167. 167
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Wasn’t he a shirt lifter?

  168. 168
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:


  169. 169
    Sister Sarah says:

    @ C.O.M. I couldn’t possibly comment.

  170. 170
    Alexandra says:

    In your dreams, you Chav Worzel Gummidge, Pervert.

  171. 171
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    “Anonymous” must be a Limp-Dem, or even a leftie Tory. They’re about you know. Look at No.10.

  172. 172
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    That’s a very old mantra. BNP in blazers? I happen to wear long dresses, after I’ve shaved.

  173. 173
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    It looks like some of you are getting frightened. GOOD!

  174. 174
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    There’s a rumour that Steve Hilton may join UKIP.

    Now THAT would be interesting!

  175. 175
    Joe E says:

    Farage is partridge at least in the aesthetics dept: “ooo I’d love to have it off with her”

  176. 176
    Proud UKIP member says:

    You are quite wrong about that – UKIP has a full range of policies, on all topics. You need to read the manifesto before sounding off. As for oddballs, we are full of individuals, not just weedy little conformists and boring nobodies. Not idiots like Mr Smegg who would look dull even compared to a shop-window dummy!!!

  177. 177
    Labour party are bankers party and enemy of the poor says:

    the only people who will vote Labour are unions the public sector and millions of immigrants

    the private sector unemployed indigneous whilte that includes edl people the bankers will vote conservative

    who will get the students vote? who will get disabled votes? etc time will tell
    guido will need to mount a campaign to keep Labour out in 2015 as best he can

    it does not take a genius to know Labour are evil hypocrites who dodge tax but it takes foolish stupid? people to vote Labour

    the conservatives are lesser of the 2 evils Labour would flush uk down the toilet if they could and hand it over to brussels

    “if it takes to shred 30 public sector jobs to create 1 private sector job it shows how spoilt the public sector were under New Labour”

  178. 178
    there was a time says:

    when Labour party were party no one dared speak of 1979-1996 like voldermort in harry potter when i was growing up then all of a sudden in 1997 uk voters put Labour back in

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    This is boring. Who cares what UKIPs ‘policies’ are on obscure issues, there’ll never get real power! What matters is they scream long & loud about EU, immigration, islamification..oh I forgot they don’t want the million B&P votes!

  180. 180
    Archie says:

    I would! Definitely!!

  181. 181
    Archie says:

    You live in poxy Mitcham! I should keep quiet about oddballs if I were you!

  182. 182
    Archie says:

    Shut the fuck up, c u n t !

  183. 183
    Archie says:

    Only just finding out about Cameron? No government since the war has done anything about , say, immigration and each has led us deeper into the EU shite!

  184. 184
    Archie says:

    Well said, Mr. Ned. Dead right in every respect. Vote Tory, get Labour policies. Bravo!

  185. 185
    Archie says:

    Spot-on and plus several thousand!

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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