March 2nd, 2012

Huhne Hires Redknapp’s Barrister

Chris Huhne has hired John Kelsey Fry QC, the barrister who successfully defended Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp against accusations of tax evasion. In court today they were bailed over until May for an early October trial expected to last two weeks. So Huhne will cast a shadow over the LibDem party conference which precedes his trial.

Kelsey did manage to get Redknapp off his tax evasion charges by relying on a dog having a bank account. Can Huhne come up with a pet-related alibi, a shaggy dog-tale perhaps? 


  1. 1
    Truth says:

    Difference is , Arry populor figure (apart from at Southampton) , Huhne is not.


    • 2
      Come On, Just saying, Only me, Winner, Peter Hain...DUEMA Champ, lots of other funny monkiers etc ! says:

      i will lick it when he is locked up


      • 22
        Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

        Most Politicians are quite happy in the clink. They are mixing with their own kind, especially in Cat D prisons. Fraudster, Nonces, I mean all you have to look at is Thatchers dinner party guests. Birds of a feather and all that. Its the reason they call themselves Right Honourable. It is a cover for being the exact opposite.


        • 28
          Right Honourable Mike Handycock says:



        • 30
          I'm raging too buddy, and I've got an idea to save money! says:

          Ring fence the HoC – and t’Luds – wiv barbed wire, bring in dogs, and put up lights.

          Call it HM Pr!son Very Strange and Weird Thieving Bass Turds.



          • I'm raging too buddy, and I've got an idea to save money! says:

            Oh FFS! – what’s with your modbots Guido?

            FCS sort it!


          • Modererator's moderator says:

            Please moderate your complaints about the moderator


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            Something to do with the Turd ?


          • Anonymous says:

            Another 6 months on the payroll at the expense of us.

            Why can’t they just do a riot like trial, next week.

            Ah yes, the elite don’t go in for witch hunts unless its other people


        • 44
          Budgie says:

          That’s right, the evil Thatcher is responsible for Huhne’s predicament, as well as attacking our pensions, selling off our gold on the cheap, cheating on her MP expenses, pumping up the money supply, removing all banking regulations, knighting Sir Fred the Shred, promising ‘no-more-boom-n-bust’ whilst deliberately causing the world financial system to implode and decimating our defences. Huhne is a hero, Thatcher a hideous witch with evil ‘dinner-party-guests’. You wouldn’t see Mandleson having ‘dinner-party-guests’ would you?


    • 4
      Loftytom says:

      Exactly, Harry and Ken Dodd were both saved by the fact that they were regarded as national treasures.
      Huhne is f’cked. The trial should contribute massively to the gaiety of nations.


    • 9
      Lawyer to the guilty rich. says:

      An admission of guilt if ever I heard one.


      • 25
        The Decameron says:

        At least Huhne hasn’t shot any dogs, unlike other leading Liberals I can think of.

        Jeremy, Jeremy! Woof, woof! Bang!


        • 45
          Just curious says:

          Whatever happened to Norman Scott?


          • V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

            Is there any Limp-Dumb that doesn’t take it up the arse?


          • The Decameron says:

            Ever the sponger, Norman Scott managed to wangle his way into getting a large rent-free farmhouse for life, from another of his elderly male “benefactors”.

            Hialriously, he’s been living less than 3 miles away from Thorpe’s own north Devon cottage for the last 20 years.

            Trust Thorpe to go cottaging…


          • Glyn H says:

            Bunnies can and will go to France!


          • I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

            He vanished up his own arse.


      • 27
        Of with his head says:

        An October trial means that he is in political limbo and out of government for the duration and even if then found not guilty his so called career of promoting windmills is over. What a shame, and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer pompous little twerp.


    • 52
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      A pair of spivs. I almost fell over laughing when I read all that bollocks ‘Arry came out with in court about only being able to write like a 2 year old.


    • 86
      Mary Jackson says:

      Nonsense. Huhne just has to testify that he is barely literate hadn’t gone to specsavers and a few other truths and Polly’s yer aunty he will get off I mean not be found to be a Tory.


      • 87
        Mary Jackson says:

        I should have added barely literate owing to evil Tory policies which meant he could not go to a good university.


    • 115
      Bloke says:

      Full marks to Guido for not posting the chicken-liver option ‘comments closed’ just because the article is something to do with the windmillcnut.


  2. 3
    Woof woof says:

    So there was Rover driving my car down the M4 and this camera just jumped out when he wasn’t looking!


    • 20
      Shaggy dog watch says:

      What’s Carina Trimingham got to do with this?


    • 37
      Doggie Fashion says:

      I drove the wild Rover for many a year,
      And spent all my money on women and beer.
      And it’s no, nay, never (ta, ta, tee, ta)
      No, nay, never, no more,
      Will I drive the wild Rover,
      As its a Toyota Carina from now on …… well when I get out of the Open Prison anyway.

      Everyone must pray that Vicky pleads guilty


  3. 5
    Lord Bumwatch says:

    He will wriggle out of this!


    • 26
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      If the Grand Master fixes the Judge as well, like he did for my Trial, he is bound to get off. I actually had lunch with my Judge a week before the Trial. Boaz.


    • 54
      chriselee says:

      Huhnes former wife is set to plead GUILTY .
      This will drop him deep in the shit.
      He will need more than Rednaps to wriggle out of this.


      • 82
        John Kelsey Fry QC says:

        That means my Client is clearly innocent and I am told that the Judge, already arranged for by the Grand Master, will direct the Jury to this verdict. Jahbulon.


      • 112
        Ironside says:

        Of course she will plead guilty.
        She will testify that Chris asked her to do it.
        Fry will put to he she did it all off her own bat without telling Huhne what she was doing. She told him what she had done after the event. He was furious with her but it was too late to do anything about it. And that she is now changing the story to ruin his career after being dumped. He will repaet this lie in the itness box.
        His chances of being believed are so low he will be advised to plead guilty and take a lower sentence,. Fry is on a roll and will not want a loss on his record at this stage of his career, he willadvise him to plead guilty. If he runs it and is found guilty it’s 18 months, 6-9 on a plea. Vicky gets a bender in any event.
        Question is – will he plead guilty ?


      • 119

        Hell hath no fury like a fugly woman scorned!


  4. 6
    Andrew says:

    A good choice – does anyone know who Huhne’s solicitors are or who will be acting for Ms P?


  5. 7
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    You can’t call her a ‘Shaggy Dog’, that’s ever so rude Guido!

    Ever since you started reading the Grauniad, you’re standards have slipped more than somewhat…


  6. 8
    Ah! Monika says:

    2 Weeks,2 Weeks,2 Weeks,!!!!!!

    10mins would do


  7. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    Did he have sex with a Horse that used to belong to the Met and was being stabled by Rebekah Brooks?


  8. 11
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    And ever since I gave up reading the Grauniad, MY standards in telling the difference between ‘your’, and ‘you’re’, have slipped even lower…


  9. 12
    Ash Ken the Question says:

    Have to ask: is there any way he can now be removed as MP before case comes to trial? If so, what is it?


    • 17
      answer says:

      He could stand down as a MP and therefore force a by-election, however there is the point of inncoent until found guilty in a court of law.


      • 47
        just a thought says:

        However does he find the time to adequately represent his constituents whilst preparing for this case?


  10. 13
    Animal puns says:

    He could always say his car did not have the horsepower to break the speed limit?


  11. 14
    Raving Loon says:

    Chris Huhne: I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
    Prosecutor: Er…that’s not the reason you’re on trial, mate.


  12. 15
    Baron Hogwash says:

    May? October? What the hell is wrong with this country? Speeding points, fook sake can’t they just take half an hour to get the facts and make a decision on who is in the wrong and who is right?


  13. 16
    A Raw Wind blowing through the LibDems says:

    Bloody Cold at “North Sea Camp” in October/November


    • 23
      Big Butch Bad Boy at that Camp says:

      I’ve got a reliable immersion heater that will help – it relies on friction – any objections! Nah, – didn’t think so! Screws like a bit of entertainment.


  14. 18
    A disgruntled Over Taxed Voter says:

    Will Huhne expect, no demand, that Tax Payers pick up the costs for his
    barrister ??

    He did claim his £17K Government Money (Ours) when he had to resign but then again he’s only a multi millionaire……

    A classic Parasite & Pimp of the Political Classes…….wonder if Cleggy will voice
    his dis-quiet at Huhnes actions……..doubt it……we all in this together not with these fu*king bas*ards they are all the same just whats in it for them, fu*k everyone else…..


  15. 21
    The Twat posing as PM says:

    Oh I do so very much hope he gets off!

    It’s terribly difficult without him to take forward the wonderful W!nd farm S6am!

    He’s such a spiffing fellow, – a real bedfellow!


  16. 24
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    By the time the hated, arrogant bastard Huhne has had his say in court the judge will be donning the black cap :-)


  17. 29
    Sophie says:

    The Huhnew debacle really brings into sharp focus just how weak David Cameron is – he could not sack Huhne.

    So the man who could not win an outright election against McMental & could not sack Huhne really expects a majority if he can cling on until 2015?

    That trust fund has warped his mind – what excuse can the rest of the Tory party have to stick with Heath 2?


    • 42
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      how you doing luv?

      He has hair and no yorkshire accent.


      • 48
        Just curious says:

        What is William going to do about the desecration of graves in Libya by his allies?


        • 51
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          you’ll get me singing again. “the rain falls hard in a humdrum town, this town has let you down …. “


    • 96
      The Golem says:

      Pure speculation, of course, but I’ve been wondering what Dave and Cleggy would do if the Politburo in Brussels issued a demand that the GE be postponed because – as most of us are aware – they believe we’re all too ignorant to know what’s good for us.


  18. 33
    Andrew says:

    No, disgruntled, you don’t get a QC on legal aid for any but the most serious cases, murder and the like: he must be paying privately. I rather liked the thought of his statement of means if had applied for legal aid.

    If he is acquitted we will have to pay his costs.


  19. 34
    Perse O'Nally says:

    Huhne’s excuse…’My dog was driving….simples’.


  20. 35
    FFS! says:

    Under what circumstances would you normally expect a Police Force to loan one of their Publicly funded Police horses to a National newspaper Editor for her own use.


    • 36
      answer says:

      She would have paid for the care and upkeep of the retired horse.

      Anyone with land and funds can apply to look after a retired horse (from the police)


    • 39
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      How much would an old police horse be worth, and could they sell them reliably at auction?

      Can you imagine just how much newspaper fun it would be if they got bought up by hungry frenchmen.


    • 49
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      The Met take great care of retired police horses. Coppers blinded by a maniac are treated somewhat differently.


      • 74
        East India Company wallah says:

        I have friends who live in a 250 year old barn conversion and also friends who live in a 1980’s built detached home-guess which one is falling to pieces


    • 91
      A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

      So the horse was retired and not actually A Police horse. Hmmmm strange how the media overlooked this fact. Former Police Dogs and Horses are often retired to members of the publc who wish to look after them as pets. Nothing unusual in his just the usual shit stirring arseholes in the media.


  21. 38
    Sophie says:

    How much financial aid is Cameron giving to Argentina?

    Paying those who are engaged in military blockades of our people & territory is the worst of the worst liberal appeasment tactics that Cameron has thus far engaged in.

    What a slimy creep – Falkland Islanders pay tax too Cameron – giving British taxpayers money to Argentina is an outrage.

    Cameron out.


  22. 46
    A Hoon says:

    Camoron ignored at EU summit. Fantastic.


    • 50
      Anonymous says:

      Cameron not kow-towing to EU federalists who desire complete political and economic integration at the expense of democracy. Fantastic.


    • 58
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      It’s all a charade played out to make Cameron look good in front of a Eurosceptic British public (exactly the same domestic grandstanding is indulged in by Sarkozy from time to time).

      iDave does not have the balls to really stand up to the EU. He is not alone in this – most European leaders have been corrupted by self-interest and the EU and do not represent their home population in any meaningful way.


      • 98
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Yup. Politicons who act stroppy are offered increasingly remunerative EU positions until avarice triumphs over principle.


  23. 53
    Henry Ford says:

    I wonder if Arry will let Hunhe use his dogs villa to relax in pre trial.


  24. 55
    Penfold says:

    No-one’s a 100% perfect and lets hope the wheels fall of the defence chariot come October.
    After-all we were all rooting for ‘Arry, probably the jury as well, but who wants to have Huhne on their jury CV.


  25. 56
    Sky's Peter Poofter says:

    I shall do a special report on Huhne’s incarceration from the showers at Wormwood Scrubs


  26. 59
    Pedalpoweredwheelchair says:

    Having a barrister called “Fry” just sounds too much like comedy gold.


  27. 60
    Great Euphemisms of our time says:

    Eric Joyce admits to “kinda getting his communication wrong” with his young Schoolgirl helper


  28. 61
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Kelsey is a barrister not a miracle worker.
    Status Quo song for Huhne – Down,down, deeper and down.


  29. 65
    Anonymous says:

    I could not have been driving because I slipped and fell into a lifeboat.


  30. 66
    Gonk says:

    Are Barristers still paid in Guineas ? Or is that frowned upon.


    • 75
      Argentine Spic says:

      Who are you calling a Guinea?


      • 90
        Luciano Spankmybotty says:

        EHH!! Paesaa !! You Argies are not guineas . We Eyeties were the original guineas when we diembarked on Ellis Island two centuries ago from Palermo .

        Even dah British copy our employmentahh programma .In the Seventies they called it a YOUTH Oppotunities Programme ( Y.O.P ) — but long before that we adaahh our own WORK Opportunities Programma ( W.O.P)

        Bello eh ??


  31. 67
    Anonymous says:

    I shall shortly retire from the force. If Rebekkah would like to borrow me to ride, in exchage for her paying for my food and drink, I’d be hapy to come to some arrangement, if it helps?


  32. 76
    Some Geezer wot still isn't convinced that the Huhne will do time says:

    Well, that settles it; if Huhne has ‘Arry Redface’s brief, he’s going to skate, won’t he? (I mean, that bit about ‘Arry not being able to read and write– pryceless!) A lot of people were ready to buy ‘Arry as the footballer on the wrong end of too many head-clashes– let’s see if his shyster can work the woman-scorned angle to where the men on the jury will vote to spring Huhne, the women will vote to throw him under the jail, and the CPS will fling in the towel after the hung jury. Otherwise, Huhne’s deader than (John) Kelsey (Fry)’s nuts.


    • 94
      Does he say that on his CV says:

      I find it hilarious that a man who by his own admission can hardly read or write, doesnt know how to text or e mail and is completely disorganised is the favourite to become the new England football manager.


  33. 77
    AC1 says:

    He’d be better off hiring a Barrista, at least he’d get some coffee.


  34. 80
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Here is some free advice HUHNE !

    Fight it, fight the charges all the way. Drag this process out as long as you can. Deny every fucking thing. Deny your name for the first day.

    Then after you have totally exasperated the judge, he will throw the book at you and your sentence will be much larger.

    hope this helps.


  35. 81
    Donkey Hottie says:

    He’ll need to find some character witnesses who have never met him.


  36. 83
    Legal-Beagle says:

    I’m sure they will employ the well known Simpson-Murray defence tactic. Attack absolutely everything that anybody else says, and say absolutely nothing yourself. Get a witness summons for every IT manager, computer operator, Taiwanese production line operator who had anything to do with the hard disk the emails were stored on and bore the living daylights out of the jury with computer-speak, then suggest that the emails were tampered with.


  37. 84
    Ken Dodd's dad's dead dog says:

    The UK’s national debt could be cleared if they held a raffle for jury places for Huhne’s trial.


  38. 88
    Attila the Huhne says:

    Offshore bank account ?

    I used to have an offshore dog — but then I chucked her for a new younger breed.


  39. 97
    Raisa Laugh says:

    You have to admire the Redknapp defence – “I am too stupid to fiddle my taxes – I employ experts to do it for me”.


  40. 99
    Whatever says:

    ” 2 weeks for a court-case like this? Could easily be done in a day or two. I think I’ll kill myself!


  41. 103
    Lord Justice Turkeyforahat says:

    I am fairly convinced that the Huhne is an unmitigated psycho and therefore I will be letting him off.


  42. 109
    Windmills of Huhne's mind says:

    Keys that jingle in your pocket
    Words that jangle in your head
    Why did I drive so quickly?
    Was it something Cleggy said?
    Ex wives talk to high court judges
    And leak details to the press
    Was the sound of distant thumping
    Just the wind farms of Sir Reg?
    Points that linger on your license
    And stop you driving for too long
    Half-remembered fines and cases
    But to whom do they belong?
    When you knew that it was over
    Were you suddenly aware
    That the Sunday Times were turning
    her emails over to the plod?


  43. 111
    geekparent says:

    Pryce is on the same charge but has yet to enter a plea. Plead guilty to get a lesser sentence…?


  44. 113
    Seymour says:

    He was shagging a dog at the time, not the fragrant Ms Pryce I hasten to add, so perhaps he can use that in mitigation.

    Hopefully the delectable Ms Pryce will plead guilty to accepting the points after the huhne had filled in the form blaming her. She was supporting her man and didn’t want to see him done for perjury.

    Any rational judge would accept her contrition and let her off with a small fine whilst gaoling the evil, philandering, lying shite for ten years or more and fining him a very large amount.


  45. 114
    Andrew says:

    Seymour, she will get a discount for early guilty plea – if she pleads guilty quickly enough – but she will probably still go down, as she should, “Stand By Your Man” is a bit out of date.

    As for him, ten years, I wish but it won’t be. And you don’t get fined and banged up in the same sentence.


    • 116
      Seymour says:

      It is possible to be gaoled and fined.

      Try evading your tax or having illicit earnings from drug dealing.

      I’m sure the delectable Ms Pryce goes down, but no reason or sense in sending her to jail.


  46. 121
    Frankie says:

    Huhnatic – The Green Windbag by Frankie

    Geoff Huhne is a Liberal thug
    Who caught the ‘Green Wind Power’ bug
    The Plod caught him speeding
    His wife did some bleating
    Will he ‘Play the Pink Oboe’ in Jug..?

    Geoff Huhne is a Liberal dope
    Green Power… Big Windmills… No hope!
    IF his wife’s legal tricks
    Huhne’s unable to fix
    He’ll be buying some ‘soap on a rope’!


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