February 23rd, 2012

Eye-Witness Account : Eric Joyce Punch-Up

From a co-conspirator:

“I was in strangers bar last night and saw the fight first hand.

I don’t know who threw the first punch, or why it happened, but I first noticed something had happened when Conservative MP Alec Shelbrooke was trying to restrain Eric Joyce shouting “YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO AN MP IN THIS HOUSE!”. Others then tried to drag Eric away from everyone else.

Eric continued to struggle and broke away from those who were holding him back. A couple of people got punched, tables got knocked over, drinks spilt, and glasses broken. A Conservative female MP then put herself in between Eric and the people he was after shouting “PUNCH ME BEFORE YOU PUNCH MY STAFF!” Yet Eric continued to struggle.

A couple of people managed to hold him down on the ground until the police arrived, who cuffed him and took him away. The security informed us while they were taking statements and names that it took them so long to get there as they went to the Sports and Social bar first.”

Seems about right…


  1. 1
    Truth says:

    The left show that they are the real nasty party.

  2. 2
    smoggie says:

    Jail bait?

  3. 3
    What's Left? says:

    Punch Drunk

  4. 4
    Andrew says:

    I fear drink speaks all languages, those of the Left, the Right, and the Centre.

    Anything known about the Member who got butted?

  5. 5
    Black Cab says:

    ID of brave Tory woman MP awaited by all journos everywhere. And me.

  6. 6
    punchy says:

    Paul Waugh seemed to point to Jackie-Doyle Price being the female MP or have you not named her deliberately?

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Stitch up

  8. 8
    Beavis & Butthead says:

    He certainly is Head Butt

  9. 9
    tottenham chutzpah says:

    So Dave was right – severe measures (doubles perhaps?) need to be taken to deal with alcohol-related crime.

    And these things begin at home!

    As for binge-politicking….. well….

  10. 10
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Chuka Umunna…. no comment.

  11. 11
    JH says:

    The seething venom of the left bubbles through again.

    They are so correct, they should be allowed to do anything to get their way.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    What a bunch of yobs, sounds like the sort of Friday night antics they all look down their noses at when it happens in other places.

  13. 13
    Wild Oscar says:

    I wonder if he’ll try to claim more Air Miles in clink?

  14. 14
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    Thanks for that Guido

    This is of course absolutely the first place I’d visit to get an impartial view on what happened lat night.

  15. 15
    T Durden says:

    The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.

  16. 16
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    What? The people he struck had to get stiches??

  17. 17
    4 Fists Good, 2 Fists Bad says:

    ……… loving that lesson in equality delivered by the female MP. Good work.

    She should be named and praised……….

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Ah! We are all in it together with our ‘staff’ enjoying the subsidised drinks in the Strangers bar……

    Would be good to hear from Eric why he thought it appropriate to settle a dispute by slugging it out – unimpressive (albeit without Eric’s side of the story)

  19. 19
    Inspector Knacker says:

    He’s not MP for Newcastle or Ibiza by any chance?

  20. 20
    smoggie says:

    In most jobs if you raise a fist it means INSTANT DISMISSAL.

    Will be interested to see how this one is dealt with because I am fairly certain that this type of behaviour is not “within the rules”. Not even the rules of the Marquess of Queensbury.

  21. 21

    Hang him and display his corpse on Westminster Bridge pour encourager les autres.

  22. 22
    Potty Pain says:

    So again Ed Miliband is betrayed by a traitor, after his knock out win at Pmqs (4th week in a row) some tory plant takes the news away from Camerons weakness and puts it on a little fistecuffs

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Do As I Do says:

    Perhaps its time for the MPs to lead by example and shut this subsidised drinking den down. After all, they keep telling us how binge drinking (on cheap booze) is the root of all evil in our society. Who wouldn’t prefer their elected members spending the evening sober and doing worthy activities instead of boozing and brawling at our expense?

  25. 25
    Ha Ha says:

  26. 26

    No butts, it’s got to be butter.

  27. 27
    Retired Major says:

    He may have been an officer but he is no gentleman.

  28. 28
    Josiah Bartlett says:


    Er, surely you don’t punch anyone, anywhere?

  29. 29
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Connect this with Gleikgate. In both cases, criminal behaviour is justified because the targets are evil and the Leftie cause is pure. Hypocritical losers, it’s all that the Left know.

  30. 30
    Hercule Poirot says:


    You really need me to investigate this heinous un English crime…

    And ytou know that the English noddies will always go to the wrong bar, hoping that the mess will be all over before they arrive…

    A ta santé….

  31. 31
    Diversity Consultant says:

    Hear! Hear!

    Though I would also suggest putting his head on a pike.

    But I’m old fashioned like that.


  32. 32
    Draw! says:

    Paul Waugh tweeted a female MPs name before saying they had a heroic role. Jackie Doyle-Price?

  33. 33
    Norfolk's Finest says:

    Obviously someone is trying to pick up Prescott’s mantle (another one who is alleged to have thrown punches in the Commons).

    Can’t wait for the Taiwanese computer animation of the incident.

  34. 34
    Florence Nightingale says:

    Who was the Female Conservative MP ?

    She deserves the Victorious Cross in the face of the onslaught of the heathen Scotch…

    Or at least a mention in despatches (Totty Watch)


  35. 35
    Sandalista says:

    Certainly un-English because the alleged assailant is Scottish.

  36. 36
    Draw! says:

  37. 37
    Black Cab says:

    Hear, hear. Sack him – grossest misconduct.

  38. 38
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I wish this wasn’t true, but it is.

  39. 39
    Security says:

    You mean the plod went for a drink at the sports and social bar first?

    I am rather puzzled that a building that is probably the most secure in the country does not have its own security staff. Ok this time it was just a mad jock taking it out on a Tory gayer but worse things could happen.

  40. 40
    smoggie says:

    What was she doing in a bar of pissheads at that time of the night?

  41. 41
    rug muncher? says:

    what was she doing in a gay bar?

  42. 42
    Black Cab says:


  43. 43
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Why bother with debates?

    They could just go to Strangers Bar and fight each other to the death.

    Now there’s a thought……

  44. 44
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    If you are concerned about impartiality, attend the Magistrates Court for the arraignment. Alternatively, you could go to any Lefty blog. I’m sure they will all be covering the story in their usual disinterested and non-judgemental fashion.

  45. 45
    last orders please says:

    The minimum of price of alcohol certainly needs to be raised in that bar…

  46. 46
    A feminist says:

    Who was the female Conservative MP please ?

    Shurely she desherves a mention in despatches (Totty Watch)

  47. 47
    Selohesra says:

    EM – Joyce’s strike was wrong whilst negotiations were still going on – but the other chap had been acting in a reckless and provocative manner

  48. 48
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    + 1

  49. 49
    smoggie says:


  50. 50
    Caligula's hoss says:

    See you in the Members’ Lobby for a head butting contest

    Good idea…

  51. 51
    Jim'll Fix It! says:

    Punch, kick, every trip (to the bar).

  52. 52
    Nurse Sue says:

    Will they get stitched up afterwards by the NHS ?

  53. 53
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    He was in the Army Education Corps. That counts as a trade, I think.

  54. 54
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is Chuka Ummuna to replace Ed Miliband, or has he already done so. Ummuna seems to be wheeled out in front of the media more than Miliband. Is it because Miliband comes over as such a gorm, and Ummuna is the more acceptable face of labour. Ummuna as the £1,500 suit spokesman stands for what labour as become.

  55. 55
    Loungelizard says:

    Sports and Socialist Bar first.? I see PratNav was fully operational on the night in question.

  56. 56
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    Can you put his indentification number under his mugshot please Guido

    Just for me records

  57. 57
    A Guardianista says:

  58. 58
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The NHS has been stitching everyone up for years.

  59. 59
    I don't need no doctor says:

    That Daniel Frost is such a cold character.

  60. 60
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Tut tut, Diversity Counsulant! You’re fired. Meow!

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Utter twat

  62. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hold me back

  63. 63
    anon says:

    Can someone with time on their hands do a breakdown of Mps/Lords/Councillors arrested/convicted/summonsed for any offences and particularly violence, by party and do a nice bar chart. I think it would prove that the caring sharing socialists are the Nasty Party. To take this even further, party supporters arrested and those in a political capacity who advocate killing/hanging/blinding their opposition. A great project for an intern/wonk/journalist!

  64. 64
  65. 65
    anonymouse in the sports & Social (they won't let me in Strangers anymore) skirting board says:

    That’s the whips’ job.

  66. 66
    Scotch Labour Chieftain says:

    I dont’ know why you get so worked up about this

    We choose our candidates according to their capacity to head butt…

  67. 67
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    You’re never there, you malingering loser !

  68. 68
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Ah! The twitterati have made the decision to dump him then.

  69. 69
    Referee says:

    Scotch Labour = Organised Crme

    Never forget

  70. 70
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Diane Abbot say’s that Joyce’s action has been taken out of context.

  71. 71
    Sophie says:

    An extra £51 million pounds borrowed from the Chinese to give away to Somalia announced today.

    That Cameron is as bad as Brown for frittering away British taxpayers money on vanity projects.

    Cameron out, Blue Labour out.

    Vote UKIP.

  72. 72
    P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    I choose mine by their butts. Oh, and the head.

  73. 73
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    Couldn’t knock the skin off a rice pudding. ha ha ha.
    The cut in expenses has got them all depressed and no doubt they will have picked up on the drink. ha ha ha.
    Once the Greek default becomes a British default then we will see a lot more of them getting pissed. Osboom Cut the TAXES and save the economy, Put them up as you have done and you will FU-K IT.

  74. 74
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Should be some more fun and games when the boundary changes come in. Liebore MPs will be punching each other, over the dwindling number of safe Liebore seats.

    Possible 2 by-elections to come as well. Eastleigh a Conservative gain, Falkirk an SNP gain.

    What larks.

    Get the popcorn in :-)

  75. 75
    HM Queen, waving serenely from one of her palaces as the country is radically transformed says:

    Munter alert!! – http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2009/3/31/1238509773633/Cynthia-Bower-chief-execu-002.jpg

  76. 76
    Craven Cottager says:

    Fag Hag

  77. 77
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    It was nothing to do with the fact that he was totally bolloxed on subsidised ( and probably expensed ) lager at all.

  78. 78
    I don't need no doctor says:

    You only see what you want to see.

  79. 79
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Seems to be a bit of a bully. Likes throwing his weight around, well his past will catch up with him now!

  80. 80
    Some Geezer wot's seen it on YouTube but can't be arsed to link it right now says:

    The Taiwanese have been known to fight within the Chamber of their Parliament– have you never seen any of those videos on the news? (They’ll usually show up on a slow news day when there’s not much else going on.) At least the UK MP’s have the “Common” decency to wait and have it out in the pub later.

  81. 81
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The £1,500 suit socialist spews out more shit.

  82. 82
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    A chip off the old block !

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Is it too late to get thuggery included as an Olympic sport? It looks like we have the chance of gold, silver and bronze here

  84. 84
    Tony Blair says:

    I wonder if he refused to give a breath test this time

  85. 85
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Actually – the TV rights alone would be worth millions. They could call it “Ballot Boxing”. We’d be out of the financial mire in no time at all. :0)))))

  86. 86
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Who am I?
    I wear £1,500 suits.
    I talk absolute bollocks.
    I’m black.
    I have a big chip on my shoulder.
    I lie easily.
    Any guesses?

  87. 87
    Eric says:

  88. 88
    Alec shelbrooke says:

    Fools to the left of me strangers to the right here i am stuck in the middle with you

    How does ” strangers in the night ” go

  89. 89
    low resolution fox says:

    Worryingly he is probably their only electable media face. Not a big fan but I could see the media/obama/suave image he has is the closest they’ve had since Blair to a rightful heir, Dave Miliband could do it in certain circumstances (‘saving’ the party at the last minute) but has probably already been tarnished as a loser

  90. 90
    Betty Swollocks says:

    The second rule of Fight Clun is: you Do Not Talk about Fight Club!

  91. 91
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Chris Bryant says, do you mean buggery?

  92. 92
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Hard in what way you Scottish bum boy?

  93. 93
    Referee says:

    Just another ex-City lawyer


  94. 94
    Loungelizard says:

    Do you have a Cueball head?

  95. 95
    simon says:

    we will see if bercow bans this shit from parliament for a considerable time

  96. 96
    How the BBC reports it says:

    An MP did a naughty thing last night.

    But anyway back to those nasty Tories and their cuts, cuts cuts.

    Gordon Brown, bring back Gordon Brown.

    Ed Balls, we love

  97. 97
    annette curton says:

    Off at a slight tangent but the ‘security’ in the HOC seems akin to a Dads Army, if I was an MP I would have serious concerns, but be that on themselves, next time it could be someone sneaking in with an accelerant (nasty bomb).

  98. 98
  99. 99
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    The sad outcome of all this is that his majority in his Falkirk constituency will likely rise considerably.

  100. 100
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I think DM is more a banana republic type of leader.

  101. 101
    Lord Gorbals Mick says:

    The only mistake this valiant Scotch MP made was that he did not wait until Saturday

    We always taught them in the Girbals to only do such things at the weekend

  102. 102
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Fine by me.

  103. 103
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Yes, how astute.

  104. 104
    anon says:

    doo doo be dooby………….

  105. 105
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Yes – until the twats can pay for it all out of their own pockets.

  106. 106
    The Paragnostic says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Derek Chisora is looking for a safe Labour seat in Liverpool?

  107. 107
    Andrew Lansley says:

    I would like to thank Eric Joyce for diverting press attention away from me.

  108. 108
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Did joyce cut the tory MP. Joyce cut too far and too fast.

  109. 109
    Lord Gorbals Mick says:

    Actually this is all part of a clever Tory strategy

    to increase the number of A List Tory MP shirtligters to drive the Labour rabble mad

    and to committing all these outrages

    It is always the fault of the Tories

  110. 110
    Lord Diplock says:

    It is all documented on the website:

    Enemies of the People.

    link here;


  111. 111
    DCI Prescott says:

    At least he was wearing a jacket during the fracas

  112. 112
    Anon E Mouse says:

    Interesting comment “YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO AN MP IN THIS HOUSE”. Does that mean that they can punch someone that isn’t an MP ?

  113. 113
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    Can we include that Tory MP who was arrested for beat his adult son up at a petrol station earlier this month?

  114. 114
    A Gorbals Watcher says:

    He’s out on bail then ?

  115. 115
    Chris1966 says:

    I blame the availabilityof cheap alcohol, if prices were higher this sort of thing wouldn’t happen

  116. 116
    Dave the Rave has lost the plot says:

    I have lost my grip

  117. 117
    nellnewman says:

    Yes. What other employer do you know provides their employees with alcohol at their place of business?

  118. 118
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    It does have it’s own security staff.

    They’re called The Plod, and they can be seen patrolling around and about the building – when they’re not in the Sports and Social Bar, that is.

  119. 119
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    On a Pike? Stupid Boy!

  120. 120
    nellnewman says:

    Isn’t falkirk in scotland? Bring on independence he can go and annoy the scottish parliament then instead.

  121. 121
    Lord Gorbals Mick says:

    Dad’s Army ?

    I was a member you know

  122. 122
    Loungelizard says:

    Whoever she was she gets my vote. Caramba! what a woman.

  123. 123
    Jack says:


  124. 124
    nellnewman says:

    Am I right in thinking that if he gets convicted of assault and given a prison sentence he will have to resign his seat?

  125. 125
    Sophie says:

    Immigration at a record high.

    Seems like it was not only Labour that want to ethnically cleanes the British from their own land.

    Theresa May – just how incompetent are you? Or is this mass immigration actual secret policy?

    Blue Labour out.

  126. 126
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Dated 20th Feb.

  127. 127
    Handycock (Immigrant Trafficker) says:

    I figure prominently on this website. as far as Eric Joyce is concerned, some of these Tories need a good nutting. By the way after all the adverse publicity I received yesterday about all the Asylum Seekers we are taking into Portsmouth to make millions for me and my boys, I had a bit of good publicity planted in the local News today.


    Aren’t I handsome? No wonder the young girls go crazy for me.

  128. 128
    Neo-Gwido says:

    The performance of the Gwido Newsroom would collapse without a lot of good champagne

  129. 129
    Eric Joyce says:

    The army does.

  130. 130
    BobbyVajazzler says:

    I see… So a tory plant held onto Joyce’s arm and drove it into people, and pushed the back of his head while he loudly protested, and jammed it into someone else’s face. That sounds very likely. I suppose they also forced him to drink the alcohol he’d had earlier in the evening, hmmm?

  131. 131
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:


  132. 132
    God says:

    I despair of those elected to “rule” when they start fighting in a bar! I understand that the bar is subsidised by the hard-pressed taxpayer – why? Why also is there a bar in the “workplace” of MPs? Lowlife scum like Joyce obviously cannot handle the subsidised booze!

  133. 133
    JH says:


    This blog is a fuck sight more impartial than the lines-to-take dissemination engines that pass as Labour’s ‘online presence’.

    When a Tory fucks up, the first/best place to hear about it is often right here. You would never get the equivalent from the other gang, whatever the pitiful little troll wannabe above spunks onto their keyboard.

  134. 134
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Its – dooby dooby doo – you twat.

  135. 135
    jsj says:

    Jackie Doyle Price apparently.

  136. 136
    A Gorbals Watcher says:

    Still being held then ?

    Like Strauss Kahn who had to spend the night in clink this week

    He was “so surprised” (sic) according to news report

    Ah these Socialists

    When will they ever learn ?

  137. 137
    JH says:

    His name was Eric Joyce, his name was Eric Joyce, his name was Eric Joyce…

  138. 138
    Y fronts says:

    Do you think Mr Joyce will be publicly defrocked ?

    I do hope so…

  139. 139

    A Dversity Consultant from 1605 would be protected by immemorial custom which prevails over canonical and statute law.

  140. 140
    tube_thumper says:

    What were david haye and derek chisora doing the the strangers bar anyway

  141. 141
    token scot on the site says:

    with the attitude she showed there, had he touched her … she would probably have ripped his scrotum off and worn it as a hat!

  142. 142
    annette curton says:

    Shut yer mouth slag! and get me another whole roasted ox, the word on the street is some thing’s going down in Cleethorpes tonight, get the siren and the blue flashing light going, where too boss?…Mr Woos.

  143. 143
    Keystone Cops says:

    They aren’t very good at their job though. They need to go on a plodding refresher course. Remember that plod who could not catch the pieman?

  144. 144
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Cameron says:

    To criticise No10’s staff & processes is to criticise the architect and leader of them – Mr Cameron.

    The evidence is that he is all about presentation, not substance and that he fails to make strategic decisiions and simply waits until events force him down a particular path.

    Look @ the Andy Coulson affair – plenty of warnings, plenty of evidence of what Coulson was and the risk Cameron took in appointing him. Indeed the security vettings normally required for this post were set aside by rewriting the job description precisely because the judgement was Coulson would fail the vetting.

    Look @ the Liam Fox affair – Fox’s links in the USA, Sri Lanka etc were all well known – his connections to the Israelis too – yet Cameron apppointed him and carried on backing him until the train hit the buffers. Fox ran a parallel foreign policy and managed the MoD to ensure it dovetailed with his NeoCon friends’ plans in the US – Cameron did nothing to rein him in until the scandal got so loud Fox had to go.

    Take the University fees debacle. Willis devised the most ludicrous, Byzantine system of university finance which is bound to cause not only complete alientation of the student & parent vote, but is also likely to lead to the collapse of entire universities. This timebomb is ticking and Cameron is doing nothing to stop it going off either later this year, or the next.

    Caroline Spellman is another loose cannon – woodland privatisation went down in the shires like a lead balloon forcing an embarrassing climbdown at the last minute – planning deregulation looks to be going the same way.

    What about the crank politics behind “free schools”? Diverting massive amountd of funding away from the mainstream school system to fund nutters motivated by religious bigotry, new age mumbojumbo or reactionary public school mentalities? Another libertarian delusion which can only result in those seeing their hard pressed local schools robbed of resources taking a very dim view of it all.

    Then there’s the egotisical Theresa May – claiming to give orders to the police which she did not have the power to do anyway, who also claims the failures of the border agency in controlling entry to the UK was entirely down to its managers, when she knew it was literally impossible to provide 24/7 coverage because they did not have the resources to do this.

    Now consider Lansley – a doctrinaire libertarian who has plotted to marketise the NHS for a decade, despite the personal promise of Cameron not a engage in yet another top-down reorganisation of the NHS. Cameron has simply been asleep on this for months, leaving him to propose what was in effect the first step in the privatisation of the NHS – turning GPs into proxy health consumers buying healthcare in an open market on behalf of their patients. Politically sensitive issues flowing from this – e.g. a wave of NHS hospital closures which would follow, were completely ignored. THe row has resulted in amendment after amendment and a dog’s dinner of a new system which is neither one thing or the other.

    The role Osborne plays in propping Cameron up reveals just how weak he is – his personal attacks on Miliband @ PMQs are getting ever more shrill and come over as bullying, not political debate. gone is the claim to want PMQs to be of value to the public – yaboo name calling is his only strategy now. Osborne is teetering on the brink of causing a double dip recession in the UK, ignoring all received wisdom about taking massive amounts of aggregate demand out of the economy in its weakened state against the backdrop of the EZ crisis.

    What of Cameron’s own performance over the EZ? A pointless veto to keep the Tory Party together, followed by a complete climbdown which hegated the veto completely. “Chamberlain also placated rightwing politics in the 1930s waving his pointless piece of paper claiming “Peace in Our Time” – Cameron’s similarly pointless veto was to deliver “Peace in Our Party.”

    The picture is now clear – a doctrinaire leader whose mishmash of libertarin, neocassical economics straight out of Hayek’s 19th C diatribes against the wickedness of the state are irrelevant and unworkable in the 21st century. A man who lacks judgement, who is too weak in the face of failure to intervene, who hides behind a stream of vitriol to provide cover for his government’s failing policies.

  145. 145
    Airey Belvoir says:

    I bet the old bruiser is quaking in his boots at the prospect of a ticking off from his Party Leader; “Now look here Ewic, thith ith abtholutely unaccthepatbl” – THUMP!

  146. 146
    Eric Mullet says:

    They’re strange?

  147. 147
    The General Public says:

    It’s a blog, dickhead. Go and tick boxes somewhere else.

  148. 148
    Maximus says:

    Maybe they have a tacit policy of not interfering while there is the remotest chance the troughers might eliminate each other.

  149. 149
    AC1 says:

    Were there any Tory Cuts (and Bruises)?

  150. 150
    Con / Dem / Lab - we are one says:


    Utter wankers – this is deliberate policy from Dave.

  151. 151
    Ah! Monika says:

    Is that smilie Eric Pickles?

  152. 152
    Little John says:

    “Members will be aware of reports of a serious incident in the House last night. I have been informed by the Serjeant at Arms that the honourable member for Falkirk has been detained in police custody.

    “The matter is being investigated. I take this matter very seriously, as do the House authorities.”


  153. 153
    Maximus says:

    THUMP??? More likely THMACK or THLAP.

  154. 154
    Nelson's Eye says:

    ” Government considers banning the sales of cheap drink to reduce alcohol fuelled violence and diseases”

    Except of course subsidised drink in the bars of the Houses of Parliment!

    Where to start that’s the problem ?

  155. 155

    China. Just about the only place in the world where you can find capitalism flourishing under its communist rulers.

    Peterborough. Where you can find communism flourishing under its Conservative council.

    No wonder the world is fucked.

  156. 156
    Labour Spin Dept says:

    Er, line to take on this… cannot be condoned of course but intolerable provocation from Tories in bar….sincerely regrets… will attend anger management course…incident stemmed from his passionate views on damage Tories are doing to his constituents…cares deeply….cuts….zzzzzzzzzzzz

  157. 157
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Only if it’s a sentence of above 12 months, if memory serves.

  158. 158
    Andrew says:

    Pregnant by him?

  159. 159
    punch a poof says:

    Alec – I do hope your wife hasn’t been too upset by this nasty incident.

  160. 160
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    It was a joke FFS, of course I don’t come here for impartiality or for anything approaching the ‘truth’

    It is a laugh watching you lot wank on about the evil of the left whilst the ‘right’ are fucking us all over and continuing on NuLab’s work.

    They’re all wankers, but for some reason some (not all) of the commenters here are partisan pricks on here who imagine otherwise. If it was a Tory who’d done this there’d be hundreds of posts bleating on about how the Labour MP deserved it etc etc.

  161. 161
    Jack says:



    “Some politicians, and many amongst the Scottish middle class establishment, seem determined to present Scotland as full of drunks. They say ‘we’ but usually mean ‘them’: the less well-off. So, everyone else in the UK and quite a few people around the world, if you look at the links, are laughing at the Scots.

    It’s hard to swallow.”

    Oh yes we are laughing at your pure stupidity and unworthness to be an MP

  162. 162
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Have the navy banned the rum ration?

  163. 163
    punch a poof says:

    you might like to look at few pictures of the old trout first

  164. 164
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    The jocks have no room to talk about shirtlifters when they wear kilts :-)

  165. 165
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    So nice to hear that our hard-earned taxes are being put towards something worthwhile.

  166. 166
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    They’ll cut his his sporran off ;-)

  167. 167
    jacky Treehorn says:

    Now it makes sense,I could never work that one out.How could an ex Soldier be a Labour MP? I believe the Military to be an honourable institution and could never work out how that tw@ could have been a member of said. Those that can, do those that can’t,teach. It was the same when I read that Billy Bragg had been in the Army,in the Army for six weeks until he bought himself out that is. k.

  168. 168
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    They *are* setting an example……….!!

  169. 169
    punch a poof says:

    but at least he’s a gentleman – takes his weight on his elbows, big fan of gay marriage.

    that sort of thing

  170. 170
    fred block says:

    diane flabbott should have stood between them. Hadrian wall has nothing on her…she’s going to do a british version of big mamma,its going to be called king mamma MP…

  171. 171
    Diversity Consultant says:

    OK to be equal opps and all that, I would put all their heads on a spike.


  172. 172
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Bit like her arse.

  173. 173
    The Paragnostic says:

    What a lot of words!

    Some of them were spelt correctly, too.

    What you fail to realise is that whether it is the 19th century or the 21st, the state is a necessary evil and Hayek’s economics are still more valid than Keynsian ponzi schemes.

    Still, maybe one day you will grow up and see socialism for the evil that it is.

  174. 174
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    ……. but the other chap had been acting in a reckless and provocative manner…..

    So that’s grounds for Assault, is it?

  175. 175
    diane abbott says:

    White trash!

  176. 176
    Black Cab says:

    What he said. Amen.

  177. 177
    Golly says:

    Yes Mr Cameron, you can stay in the room with the rest of us as long as you keep your gob shut.

    If you talk polite bollocks to the Press afterwards we will say nice things to the Press about you

  178. 178
    Screwed taxpayer. says:

    Why are there any bars at all in the H of P ? How are MP’s and Lords allowed to legislate when they are pissed. It is disgraceful. Clean the place up Dave — if you’ve got the bxllux —- ban drink on site — like the factories in which a few remaining serfs still labor away to pay for these bxstxrds.

  179. 179
    Keep Up! says:

    The Rum Ration was abolished in 1970 !

  180. 180
    Black Cab says:

    Sorry – didn’t quite catch that.

  181. 181
    Anonymous says:

    I never make cheap comments in an expensive suit don’t y’know

  182. 182
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Well then don’t post as a typical whinging leftie tvvat in future !

  183. 183
    Jonny S says:

    S t e r o i d s seem to be everywhere these days.

  184. 184
    Hang The Bastards says:

    She would say that the fat racist leftie cow

  185. 185
    EdButLookBalls says:

    ‘Cage Fighter Joyce’ – a woman wrestler!

  186. 186
    Barack Obama the half-caste says:

    Not black. Irish mother. White.


  187. 187
    Rachel Reeves looks like a man in drag. says:

    Fuck me, that is one ugly rug muncher.

  188. 188
    Tardkiller says:

    or Fap Fap Fap Fap

  189. 189
    Rab C Nesbitt and Kenny Dalglish says:

    Yae bunch o’ softie Southerners dinnae ken whit yer talkin aboot. That was just a playful melee.

    Come up to the ‘Pool on derby match day for a real Fistful of Fives or to Sauchiehall St on a Saturday night for an original Glasgow Kiss ( Liquidators permitting ).

  190. 190
    Rab C Nesbitt and Kenny Dalglish says:

    Whit are yaes doin’ moderatin oor comment Guido — d’ya nae ken Gallic ??

  191. 191
    The Ghost of NOTW says:

    Allo Allo

    What ave we here?

    Jock Strap butts Gay Man

    Sounds like a case for Inspector Hacker of the Yard

  192. 192
    Alex says:

    Headbuttee is “openly gay” (whatever that means). Do we have a hate crime, double time etc?

  193. 193
    the defenestrator says:

    Too long, didn’t read but I guess you have yet to be introduced to internet porn

  194. 194
    Dingo Dog says:

    You look as if you’ve had a few drinkies yourself. Running out of young sheilas?

  195. 195
    Lord Stansted says:

    Indeed. And these bastard politicians have the nerve to accuse the lower order of drinking too much. The Education Corps can’t hold their drink.

  196. 196
    The Golem says:

    +1 Unrestricted immigration ensures a socialist “paradise” not only past and present, but also in the future. Dave and his team are not working for us.

  197. 197
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    We’ll just chuck it on our essential expenses.

  198. 198
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    Why don’t you read some of the postings above before spouting off?

  199. 199
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    In those extremely expensive hand made togs, surely he is their bespoke(s) man?

  200. 200
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    If they do that where will he keep his p*anuts

  201. 201
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    Dave asks if you mean husky huggery?

  202. 202
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    Joseph Zuma?

  203. 203
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    Or raiding an MP’s office drawers even?

  204. 204
    On immigration, Billy Bragg and the CBI both sing from the same song sheet. says:

    But the right also want to flood Britain with endless immigration. If employers could get their way, they’d happily turn the whole country into one great big migrant worker’s camp, just so long as it supplied them with cheap/free labour – consequences for the rest of the country be damned.

    Left and right ideologues are both at war with European indigenous peoples
    not wanting to be ethnically replaced.

  205. 205
    Lady Di O'Hacknee says:

    Now now – no need to go all colourist on us!

  206. 206
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Would you like to tell me what the hell all this has got to do with some headbanger Scottish MP getting arrested for drunken loutish behaviour?

  207. 207
    Jog On Labour Dogshite says:

    What pathetic retard!

  208. 208
    Winny in a wheelchair says:

    Sports and Social Bar?

  209. 209
    robbie says:

    A very expensive MP to run even when sober. Consistently the most expensive Scottish MP even though he’s based in the part of Scotland with the best access to transportation.

    Falkirk deserves better representation in London than this.

  210. 210
    Anonymous says:

    anyone who thumps a smug tory is a hero

  211. 211
    BulldogBreeder says:

    Don’t worry – they’re going to have another go at his nose. If that doesn’t work, they’ll tie up his tonsils, or fit him with a new head, again.

  212. 212
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    Call Me Dave is going to make the alcohol weaker – they’ll just have to drink more to get pissed. No fun having a punch-up if you’re stone cold sober.

  213. 213
    Rottweiler Ron says:

    Have they just stuck his ears on?

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