February 22nd, 2012

How to Lose Friends and Alienate Politicians

Congratulations are in order to Toby Young who has landed the much coveted role of political columnist at the Sun on Sunday, which will likely mean that he will be the most read political columnist in the country. With Speccie editor Fraser Nelson now writing a column for the Telegraph, the Speccie contributor has effectively filled his bosses’ old Screws slot. Toby has apparently written about his new gig in the magazine tomorrow…

UPDATE: This could get spicy:


UPDATE II: Slight amendment to the headline via @TimGattITV


  1. 1
    Erm says:

    Never heard of him.

  2. 2
    Back of the cab says:

    “I ‘ad that Shirely Williams in the back the uver day. She said all free schools are the works of Satan. she reckons its only fair if everyone has to go to a shit school.

    The only exceptions should be people rich enough to move to the few decent catchment areas.

    Be lucky!”

  3. 3
    The beast of phone tapping says:


  4. 4
    Slap me in the face with some bollocks says:

    Hunt. And a slaphead too.

  5. 5
    Mike says:

    …does anyone actually read the politics stuff in the Sun-thought they just looked at the pictures?

  6. 6
    No clapping of hands here says:

    ‘After failing most of his O-levels, he got two Bs and a C at A-level and managed to get in to Oxford after Brasenose College sent him an acceptance letter by mistake.’


  7. 7
    Dick the Prick says:

    Ferkin’ell. Good luck to him, it’s a proper skill being a commentator. Genuinely do think Rawnsley’s the best in the business.

  8. 8
    Tony, Harriet, Diane, etc etc says:

    I agree.

  9. 9
    TV pundit says:

    Harry Hill I think.

  10. 10
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    I used to see that odious twat (literally) begging to get into various fashion parties a few years back, jumping up and down shouting “Toby Young from Vogue” (a publication he has never written for) and embarrassing himself terribly.

    Social climber fame groupie of the worst kind and a plagiarist to boot (just ask John Tierney)

    The Sun could have done better than this surely?

  11. 11
    Labour: still nasty says:

    Is it ok if I say I wish Ann Holland would fall off a cliff?

  12. 12
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    yes because free schools solve the catchment area problem in one fell swoop don’t they?

    except of course they don’t; I know of one in Bristol that’s in a pretty run down area but only takes pupils from a few high end postcodes some distance away.

    good idea in principle but needs some work; at least they’re trying

  13. 13
    Legal: Sue Brown says:

    Nothing to bragg about.

  14. 14
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Why not drag everyone down to the lowest common denominator, Shirley.

    And where did your children go to school???

  15. 15
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wrote a book. Please buy it.

  16. 16
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I can think of a far worse fate than that.

  17. 17
    Sore labour looser tosser watch says:

    Whatever rings your bell.


  18. 18
    Jimmy says:

    Nothing for you?

    Ungrateful bastards.

  19. 19
    Show Biz for ugly people says:


    I only have one and she is yet to go to school

    and don’t call me Shirley…….

  20. 20
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Only if the pages have perforations down the sides.

  21. 21
    Jimmy says:

    He’s the man who made the Modern Review what it is today.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    For all that, he’s rescuing educational standards in LBH&F.

  23. 23
    Really? says:

    ..and where did YOU go to school?

  24. 24
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I wouldn’t even use it as loo paper.

  25. 25
    Legal: Sue Brown says:

    To be perfectly honest. I am simply not interested.

  26. 26
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I went to a comprehensive school in Saaf East London, mate.

    Happy now?

  27. 27
    Really? says:

    Not even then. It would be the sort of self-hating grey stuff that the Germans seem to put up with in the interest of oekofreundlichkeit.

  28. 28
    Ah! Monika says:

    Bodes well !!

    Former Premier League footballer jailed for sending bogus letters to police claiming his car was in the garage when he was clocked for speeding

  29. 29
    Some Geezer wot's gonna offer a crying towel says:

    There, there, Neo, there’ll be more opportunities in the years to come…it’s their loss, not yours…(And all that good stuff your Mum used to say…)

  30. 30
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Sun Twit feed

    BBC newsreader George Alagiah just confused Ed Miliband with his brother David on live telly. He had to be corrected by Nick Robinson. Oops!

  31. 31
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Surprised Chris Huhne didn’t try that defence. LOL

  32. 32
    Only in the Graun says:

    Easily done.

    They are both a pair of useless, rich, socialist gonks

  33. 33
    Only in the Graun says:

    Why does the bloody reply-to think not work? Gahhh!

  34. 34
    Albert hall says:

    Bleeding cockneys

  35. 35
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Hope they will be discusing theiving politicians for here is one from over the channel living of our eu contributions-have a stiff gin before reading!


  36. 36
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Yeah – born wivin the saand a Bow Bells.

  37. 37
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    There’s always an Appeal…….

  38. 38
    Glyn H says:

    Rather went off him when he wrote about his wanking habits back along.
    But then much as Trevor K TALKS sense about politics who ever reads the Sun or the late Screws for its political coverage?
    Tribal labourites vote Labour whatever the feckers do as is evidenced by the polls this very week.

  39. 39
    Tony Eden fron Eton says:

    I would urge all right minded British citizens not to buy the Sun on Sunday until all details of the the arrangements between the Murdochs Newscorp Andy Coulson Rebecka Brookes and 10 Downing Street are firmly in the public domain.

  40. 40
    Bluebottle says:

    I have not bought a copy of the Sun since 1972.

    The breasts of the young lady on page three are still above my bed.

    They are still as firm now as they were then

  41. 41
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The Foreign and Parliamentary Affairs Ministers appear to have been short-changed, with a Harley-Davidson and a couple of stone huts between them.

  42. 42
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Would William Shakespeare be a Sun reader if he was alive today?

    Alas poor Yorick, we will never know.

  43. 43
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The F*reign and P*rliamentary A*fairs Ministers appear to have been short-changed, with a Harley-Davidson and a couple of stone huts between them

  44. 44
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Would William Shakespe-are be a Sun reader if he was alive today?

    Alas poor Yorick, we will never know.

  45. 45
    The beast of phone tapping says:

    Alas poor whatadick I knew him well

  46. 46
    Easy-E says:

    I always thought your common or garden tribal labourites read The Mirror?

  47. 47
    Easy-E says:

    I would imagine the inclusion of pictures of large breasts is going to have a larger impact on sales.

  48. 48
    Mr A.Cliffe says:


  49. 49
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Let’s be honest Toilets MaGuire is a hack and how the fuck did a big nosed geordie wankstain like that get a gig for the Mirror?

    Oh hang on he likes to stick his tongue up Gordon Brown’s arse live on TV.

  50. 50
    portnoy's complaint says:

    That was a cracking good article.

  51. 51
    loseeeeeeerrrr says:

    Perhaps he can carry on his success at being a failure, which he does so well.

  52. 52
    portnoy's complaint says:

    And what would Readers Wives do without you Jimmy?

  53. 53
    Blind leading blind says:

    Well it looks from the photo that they’ve signed up one tit already

  54. 54
    Papa Mong on Bore4 says:

    I can’t remember the last time I bought The Sun or even read it.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Trevor Kavanagh was and still is, excellent actually.

  56. 56
    bumbandit at 7.44 o'clock says:

    Guardian reader alert.

  57. 57
    sunny hundal, twat says:

    Do you mean me?

  58. 58
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The only time I ever saw The Sun was when my chips were wrapped in it.

  59. 59
    Andy Coulson. Hung out to dry and facing a long sentence behind bars. says:

    ‘coveted’? Murdoch is toxic for years to come!

  60. 60
    mr floppy watch says:

    It’s a shame your cock doesn’t share the same fate.

  61. 61
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    We have oor jammies on. Let’s Party!

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Er…..we’ll let the readers decide that shall we? What’s the betting that he’ll be making a profit within a few months while the Guardian will be making even more losses, and Alan Rusbridger rewarding himself for further failure, the hypocritical, socialist bastard ….you mong.

  63. 63
    Papa Mong On Bore4 says:

    @bumbandit. How very dare you. I read no newspaper. I much prefer to be brainwashed by left wing idiots on BBC.

  64. 64
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    He will have the last laugh as he helps deliver Scottish independence and consign 41 Liebore MPs to oblivion, giving Cameron a 23 seat Tory majority :-)

  65. 65
    I'll give him three months tops says:

    Toby Clunge

  66. 66
    Eh? says:

    Why would he want to hang his cock above his bed ?

  67. 67
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Funny! Thought I listened to Eddie Mare on PM for the hour in the background but never heard anything about Militwat and BurnhamOnSemen regarding the NHS debate! Anyone confirm?

  68. 68
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Axe the telly tax. Murdoch is not delivering Independence for Scotland. Many Scots want Devo Max. If the Scots were given the choice, they would vote DM.

  69. 69


    Page 3.

    Nice birds but…

    Can’t remember one of them raising a woody.

    After some 40 plus years that seems quite an indictment (of the Sun!)

  70. 70
    Easy-F says:

    You’re not that fuckin’ easy…

  71. 71
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Then it’s time England voted for independence from the Celts.

    This would give Cameron a 63 seat majority (even before the boundary changes) :-)

  72. 72
    Trevor Kavanagh says:


  73. 73
    annette curton says:

    Yeah, I bet they would, cake and eat it, get the rest of the U.K to keep signing the cheques and pretend they are an independent country.

  74. 74

    Now is the winter of our discontent
    Made glorious summer by this son of York;
    And all the clouds that low’r’d upon our house
    In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

    Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4

  75. 75
    Glyn H says:

    Does everyone who reads either the Sun or the Mirror realise the papers loyalties? After all Dirty Desmond still claims the Express is ‘The Worlds Greatest Newspaper’

  76. 76
    Ichabod says:

    I think that story was an example of Toby Jones’s self deprecation . After he wrote an article in the Spectator claiming that he only got into Brasenose thru. administrative error, a former tutor wrote to the magazine stating that his story was nonsense; he got there on merit. It would be unwise to take Mr Jones at his own estimate. For his dtermination in establishing his west London academy, in the face of vile left wing slanders and destructive acts, Jones became a figure to be much admired.

  77. 77
    annette curton says:

    Here is another play wot I wrote?.

  78. 78
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Axe TTT! Well that aint gonna happen. Oh diddums.

  79. 79
    Gonk says:

    Look God, it’s just not that funny anymore.

  80. 80
    mr floppy watch says:

    Takes all sorts.

  81. 81
    annette curton says:

    To give Santa Clause a fright on Xmas eve.

  82. 82
    Schrőminger's snatch says:

    Now is the sphincter of our discontent,
    Made glorious bummer by this son of pork.

    Richard The Tuгd Act 1, scene 1, 1-4

  83. 83
    jw says:

    OK Tobe, – every good wish me old mucka. Keep at it!

  84. 84
    DD says:

    it’s the greatest if I say it is!

    Don’t forget, ignorant f*cker, – the Tone sucked up to me!

    So shut your face!

  85. 85
    happy xmas says:

    Hoping no doubt that Santa will empty his sack, the dirty fucker.

  86. 86
    Fat Hatty, the Wimmin's Libby says:

    I burnt my bra before any of ‘em.

    Fun, – wasn’t it boys!

  87. 87
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Anette Curtain. The English need the Scots. England is fecked without them. Fact. Even Cameron knows this. Yet they are idiots who want to break up the Union for a few extra Conservatives votes. Pathetic!
    Get your heads out of your arses and get a devolved English Parliament. More Ukippers!

  88. 88
    Mr & Mrs Brown sans their pyjamas says:

    Do you want to go first darling?

  89. 89

    Is that Bottom or Puck?

  90. 90
    JW says:

    More UKIPers, – if only!

  91. 91
    Schrőminger's snatch says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys mate.

  92. 92
    Tachybaptus says:

    Fоr Gоd’s sаkе, lеt us tаkе thе Undеrgrоund
    Аnd thrоw tоmаtоеs аt оur bаd MРs;
    Fоr sоmе hаνе tаkеn brіbеs, sоmе swіtсhеd thеіr hоmеs,
    Sоmе brоkеn аll thе рrоmіsеs thеу mаdе;
    Sоmе hаνе bеtrауеd thеіr wіνеs, sоmе stаrtеd wаrs;
    Аll еνіl: fоr wіthіn thе hоllоw hаll
    Τhаt есhоеs wіth thе bоаsts оf оur MРs
    Kеерs Luсіfеr hіs соurt аnd wаnkіng sіts,
    Sсоrnіng thе stаtе аnd grіnnіng аt іts fаll,
    Аllоwіng us а сhаnсе, а lіttlе hоре,
    Τо tаkе аwау, rерlасеd wіth dull dеsраіr,
    Іnfесtіng аll wіth араthу аnd glооm.
    Fоr аll thеsе mеn whо dеsесrаtе оur lіνеs
    Аrе quіtе untоuсhаblе; but аs fоr us,
    Соmеs sооn thе еnd, аs оnе mоrе hеаνу tаx
    Brеаks оur rеsіstаnсе dоwn: аnd fаrеwеll lіfе!

  93. 93
    Talksport listner says:

    Check out Donna Ewin then no shortage of wood when she was on P3.

  94. 94
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Cherie Bliar after yet more money. Fuck off you ugly hag.

  95. 95
    PHWOAR!! says:

    Katie always did the trick for me


    Love the 360 degree rotation gizmo!!

  96. 96

    She’s huge around the hips. Would break your jaws.

  97. 97
    not a machine says:

    I had wondered what the shelf life of the lib dem party political broadcast would be …..
    Dont think i will be blogging for some time , off for a break and some communing with nature , ohmmmmm . Mrs spelmans being overcome by the vapours of cash from , crop genetic corps , it wasnt much of fight either …..

    In fairness now slightly pissed off , with process of manfesto and then two fingered salute to certain commitments .

    Archbishop of canterbury has said little about gay marriage , but declares pollution to be a bad thing , hold on a mo pollution of the understanding of marriage , mmm works for me …..

    nitey night

  98. 98
    annette curton says:

    Ha,Ha the harridan has sniffed out another potential pay day, you would think after the first few millions the lure of yet more filthy lucre would wear off, but no the temptation of a possible £100,000 from News International was an irresistible carrot dangling in front of her nose. Reminds me of those ads, are you a politician, someone in the public eye or a celebrity, your phone may have been hacked in the last 5 years, you too could receive a substantial sum, contact Rotter and Scum now!.

  99. 99
    m'Lord Mandlescum says:

    always works for me!

  100. 100
    Xenophon says:

    Toby Jones: who he?

  101. 101
    Gordon Brown says:

    do you mind!! I do have my dignity!!

    He does Sarah first! Then I know it’s clean.

  102. 102
    'elf n safety ex-spurt says:

    best bury him then

  103. 103
    Nick says:

    So who were his bosses who had the old Screws slot?

  104. 104
    Frank Carson RIP says:

  105. 105
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    My 11 year old starts at a new free school in September….I’ll string Young’s balls up with piano wire if it turns out to be a mistake.

  106. 106
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    It’s a Cracker!

  107. 107
    Whois says:

    Is that the skull of Tessa Jowell that he is holding up?

    By the way, who is Toby Young?

  108. 108
    EdButLookBalls says:

    WTF! ChuckyMoney’s bint Luciana Berger MP complaining that the government isn’t doing owt about dangerous dogs FFS! What did Liebour do in the their 13 years, silly bint!

  109. 109
    Frank Carson (RIP) says:

    It’s the way I told ‘em!

  110. 110
    Fish says:

    If it upsets you, Gordon, mad Hattie, Milband and everyone at the BBC / Guardian I’ll be happy to buy a copy.

  111. 111
    Midweek says:

    I could not believe what I was hearing from the mouth of Libby Purves this evening. Is radio 4 the new porn channel?


    “Touch would be good, when you touch something and it is soft, then suddenly it is hard”


    “Lifting girls is fine, you need strength for that, do you find it easy to get into a small box?”

    Then she had a giggle fit realising what she had just said.


  112. 112
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

  113. 113
    Nothing! Absolutely NOTHING! says:

  114. 114

    Give him the left jab !!

  115. 115
    David Rose says:

    I bet he stole that idea from Johan Hari!

  116. 116
    AC1 says:

    “The only exceptions should be people rich enough to move to the few decent catchment areas.”

    Where the interest on a house is almost the same as a private school.

  117. 117
    AC1 says:

    Lord Tebbit(PBUH) ‘s Blog is the best.

  118. 118
    AC1 says:

    I bet a lot of press release recyclers thought “There but for the grace of God, go I” when Hari got caught.

  119. 119
    CHANGE YOUR PIN! says:

    What’s the betting that the voicemail PIN on Slotgob’s phone was either 0000 or 1234 because she’d never bothered to change it. What a money grabbing witch.

  120. 120
    AC1 says:

    It’s 15 times more popular than Al Grauniad is.

  121. 121
    AC1 says:

    Turing test says “100% machine origin no sentience detected”.

  122. 122
    Erm says:

  123. 123
    Phideaux 3 says:

    Rawnsley likes to be uncomprimising and straight up, but it’s just a facade, works for the Guardian group, hypocrites one and all deep down.

  124. 124
    Phideaux 3 says:

    Melvyn Bragg on Steve Wright today was cringeworthy. All his generation that went to grammar school, then went uni and moved to London and started going to the opera, with their higher aspirations from grammar school, not like the priviliged members of the cabinet.

    The BBC millionaire reallu should retire.

  125. 125
    t says:

    If he’s seeking revenge, I can’t wait.

  126. 126
    Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes says:

    It used to be covered by saying “…[,]said the (Bishop/actress) to the (actress/Bishop)…” as a way of conveying that it could be a double-entendre; of course, a lot of the time the double-entendre was intentional and the “innocence” was feigned. Of course, you HAVE to give the benefit of the doubt– can you really accuse someone of being intentionally off-colour? That’s an awfully hard one– said the actress to the Bishop…

  127. 127
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    I’m sorry, Cherie, I believe you have me confused with someone who’s afraid of you. We’ve never printed half the stuff we have on you and Tones, because we knew a day like this would come. When you see what we have, Cherie me sheila, you’ll be singing a different tune– this tune, in fact:

  128. 128
    D v Dyke says:

    foughy fassan fevvers ‘n a frushs froat

  129. 129
    Stereotypes R Us says:

    oh dear, ed will be unhappy – but not surprised. And in the commons bar – how declasse!

  130. 130
    Camewne says:

    HAHA educational standards what! Instead of the State providing good education we destroyed it and now twerps can make charity donations to their schools tax free! pip pip!

    It’s tremendous. Must go. Another phony war against a little country in the offing. Ta Ra!


  131. 131
    Dog Collar says:

    Shirley’s kids were probably among the last cohort to get a decent education before her malicious ‘reforms’ kicked in and buggered the excellent system in place under the 1944 Education Act..

  132. 132
    Dog Collar says:

    If that were our Diyanne you would need a 720 degree rotation gizmo. Clever gizmo though, deffo!

  133. 133
    Naughty boy says:

    Labour MP Eric Joyce arrested on suspicion of assault at the Commons bar. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17136209

  134. 134
    George Trupidae says:

    Are you keeping a log of the sales ?

  135. 135
    James says:

    I’d like to cut him out of my will.

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    C’mon Guido get moving on Eric Joyce’s “Glasgae Kiss”.

  137. 137
    Del says:

    That bloody Serjeant at Arms is asleep on the job again. We’ll ‘ave to get Rodney over ‘ere to sort things out. What a plonker !

  138. 138
    Splooge says:


  139. 139
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Great headlines for the Sun on Sunday.

    Labour MP jailed for 2 years for violent assault and GBH.

    A grinning Alex Salmond welcomed the newly elected SNP MP for Falkirk.

  140. 140
    Super zuffle says:

    Hi tat welcome back. You really need to stop wan king yourself off at 3 in the morning you sad twat!

  141. 141
    All Seeing Bri says:

    Pilgrim Protest

    Public sector union, Unison says it will fight to save the jobs of two of its representatives under threat at Swindon Borough Council.

    The local authority wants to cut the full-time post shared by activists Bob Cretchley and Karla Bradford as part of an “efficiency savings” drive.

    It says in the current economic climate the union should pay their wages.

    But Unison said the cost to the taxpayer was minimal, and it would fight to protect their jobs.

    A spokesman said the union would not “stand by and let this attack happen”.

  142. 142
    Spartacus says:

    and when was the last time that bow bells rang – so you are how old?

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    labour heid the bae gies glasgae kiss tae Tory egit – boost in Scottish polls predicted for Millibrand

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    says the bloke who can’t hold his drink let alone a job

  145. 145
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Are Harriet Harman and Diane Abbott classed as dangerous dogs.

  146. 146
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Hey, just noticed Schrödinger’s cat is back, not that I ever realy knew if he was ever not there?

  147. 147
    Eric Joyce says:

    It’s not only Prescott who can throw a punch.

  148. 148
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Sore head this morning Eric?

    You’ll soon have a sore arse when Big Bubba from B wing has finished with you :-)

  149. 149
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    Fantastic, another State sponsored Puppet Paper to feed Sh-t to the Massess. Shame Bliar hadn’t taken notice of the Anti War Mob, We might not now be economically broken.

  150. 150
    Arthur Haynes (Comedian) says:

    Most socialites make up stories about their upbringing to gain street cred. Don’t be surprised when a distant ancestor turns out to be a miner or similar.

  151. 151
    Dick Whittington says:

    Bow bells ring extremely frequently, or more accurately, they are rung.
    St Mary le Bow, Cheapside.

  152. 152
    Steve Lloyd says:

    Don’t recall the MP, but he made Berger look like a right c*nt with his “Offdog” comment.

  153. 153
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    When you say ’10 Downing Street’ I assume you mean Blair and Brown, as well as Cameron?

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