February 22nd, 2012

How to Lose Friends and Alienate Politicians

Congratulations are in order to Toby Young who has landed the much coveted role of political columnist at the Sun on Sunday, which will likely mean that he will be the most read political columnist in the country. With Speccie editor Fraser Nelson now writing a column for the Telegraph, the Speccie contributor has effectively filled his bosses’ old Screws slot. Toby has apparently written about his new gig in the magazine tomorrow…

UPDATE: This could get spicy:


UPDATE II: Slight amendment to the headline via @TimGattITV


  1. 1
    Erm says:

    Never heard of him.


    • 6
      No clapping of hands here says:

      ‘After failing most of his O-levels, he got two Bs and a C at A-level and managed to get in to Oxford after Brasenose College sent him an acceptance letter by mistake.’



      • 22
        Anonymous says:

        For all that, he’s rescuing educational standards in LBH&F.


        • 130
          Camewne says:

          HAHA educational standards what! Instead of the State providing good education we destroyed it and now twerps can make charity donations to their schools tax free! pip pip!

          It’s tremendous. Must go. Another phony war against a little country in the offing. Ta Ra!



          • Super zuffle says:

            Hi tat welcome back. You really need to stop wan king yourself off at 3 in the morning you sad twat!


          • Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

            Fantastic, another State sponsored Puppet Paper to feed Sh-t to the Massess. Shame Bliar hadn’t taken notice of the Anti War Mob, We might not now be economically broken.


      • 76
        Ichabod says:

        I think that story was an example of Toby Jones’s self deprecation . After he wrote an article in the Spectator claiming that he only got into Brasenose thru. administrative error, a former tutor wrote to the magazine stating that his story was nonsense; he got there on merit. It would be unwise to take Mr Jones at his own estimate. For his dtermination in establishing his west London academy, in the face of vile left wing slanders and destructive acts, Jones became a figure to be much admired.


    • 21
      Jimmy says:

      He’s the man who made the Modern Review what it is today.


    • 38
      Glyn H says:

      Rather went off him when he wrote about his wanking habits back along.
      But then much as Trevor K TALKS sense about politics who ever reads the Sun or the late Screws for its political coverage?
      Tribal labourites vote Labour whatever the feckers do as is evidenced by the polls this very week.


  2. 2
    Back of the cab says:

    “I ‘ad that Shirely Williams in the back the uver day. She said all free schools are the works of Satan. she reckons its only fair if everyone has to go to a shit school.

    The only exceptions should be people rich enough to move to the few decent catchment areas.

    Be lucky!”


  3. 3
    The beast of phone tapping says:



  4. 4
    Slap me in the face with some bollocks says:

    Hunt. And a slaphead too.


  5. 5
    Mike says:

    …does anyone actually read the politics stuff in the Sun-thought they just looked at the pictures?


  6. 7
    Dick the Prick says:

    Ferkin’ell. Good luck to him, it’s a proper skill being a commentator. Genuinely do think Rawnsley’s the best in the business.


  7. 10
    Show Biz for ugly people says:

    I used to see that odious twat (literally) begging to get into various fashion parties a few years back, jumping up and down shouting “Toby Young from Vogue” (a publication he has never written for) and embarrassing himself terribly.

    Social climber fame groupie of the worst kind and a plagiarist to boot (just ask John Tierney)

    The Sun could have done better than this surely?


  8. 11
    Labour: still nasty says:

    Is it ok if I say I wish Ann Holland would fall off a cliff?


  9. 13
    Legal: Sue Brown says:

    Nothing to bragg about.


    • 124
      Phideaux 3 says:

      Melvyn Bragg on Steve Wright today was cringeworthy. All his generation that went to grammar school, then went uni and moved to London and started going to the opera, with their higher aspirations from grammar school, not like the priviliged members of the cabinet.

      The BBC millionaire reallu should retire.


  10. 15
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wrote a book. Please buy it.


  11. 18
    Jimmy says:

    Nothing for you?

    Ungrateful bastards.


  12. 25
    Legal: Sue Brown says:

    To be perfectly honest. I am simply not interested.


  13. 28
    Ah! Monika says:

    Bodes well !!

    Former Premier League footballer jailed for sending bogus letters to police claiming his car was in the garage when he was clocked for speeding


  14. 29
    Some Geezer wot's gonna offer a crying towel says:

    There, there, Neo, there’ll be more opportunities in the years to come…it’s their loss, not yours…(And all that good stuff your Mum used to say…)


  15. 30
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Sun Twit feed

    BBC newsreader George Alagiah just confused Ed Miliband with his brother David on live telly. He had to be corrected by Nick Robinson. Oops!


  16. 32
    Only in the Graun says:

    Easily done.

    They are both a pair of useless, rich, socialist gonks


  17. 35
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Hope they will be discusing theiving politicians for here is one from over the channel living of our eu contributions-have a stiff gin before reading!



    • 41
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      The Foreign and Parliamentary Affairs Ministers appear to have been short-changed, with a Harley-Davidson and a couple of stone huts between them.


    • 43
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      The F*reign and P*rliamentary A*fairs Ministers appear to have been short-changed, with a Harley-Davidson and a couple of stone huts between them


    • 79
      Gonk says:

      Look God, it’s just not that funny anymore.


  18. 39
    Tony Eden fron Eton says:

    I would urge all right minded British citizens not to buy the Sun on Sunday until all details of the the arrangements between the Murdochs Newscorp Andy Coulson Rebecka Brookes and 10 Downing Street are firmly in the public domain.


  19. 40
    Bluebottle says:

    I have not bought a copy of the Sun since 1972.

    The breasts of the young lady on page three are still above my bed.

    They are still as firm now as they were then


  20. 42
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Would William Shakespeare be a Sun reader if he was alive today?

    Alas poor Yorick, we will never know.


  21. 44
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Would William Shakespe-are be a Sun reader if he was alive today?

    Alas poor Yorick, we will never know.


    • 74

      Now is the winter of our discontent
      Made glorious summer by this son of York;
      And all the clouds that low’r’d upon our house
      In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

      Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4


      • 77
        annette curton says:

        Here is another play wot I wrote?.


      • 82
        Schrőminger's snatch says:

        Now is the sphincter of our discontent,
        Made glorious bummer by this son of pork.

        Richard The Tuгd Act 1, scene 1, 1-4


      • 92
        Tachybaptus says:

        Fоr Gоd’s sаkе, lеt us tаkе thе Undеrgrоund
        Аnd thrоw tоmаtоеs аt оur bаd MРs;
        Fоr sоmе hаνе tаkеn brіbеs, sоmе swіtсhеd thеіr hоmеs,
        Sоmе brоkеn аll thе рrоmіsеs thеу mаdе;
        Sоmе hаνе bеtrауеd thеіr wіνеs, sоmе stаrtеd wаrs;
        Аll еνіl: fоr wіthіn thе hоllоw hаll
        Τhаt есhоеs wіth thе bоаsts оf оur MРs
        Kеерs Luсіfеr hіs соurt аnd wаnkіng sіts,
        Sсоrnіng thе stаtе аnd grіnnіng аt іts fаll,
        Аllоwіng us а сhаnсе, а lіttlе hоре,
        Τо tаkе аwау, rерlасеd wіth dull dеsраіr,
        Іnfесtіng аll wіth араthу аnd glооm.
        Fоr аll thеsе mеn whо dеsесrаtе оur lіνеs
        Аrе quіtе untоuсhаblе; but аs fоr us,
        Соmеs sооn thе еnd, аs оnе mоrе hеаνу tаx
        Brеаks оur rеsіstаnсе dоwn: аnd fаrеwеll lіfе!


  22. 45
    The beast of phone tapping says:

    Alas poor whatadick I knew him well


  23. 49
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Let’s be honest Toilets MaGuire is a hack and how the fuck did a big nosed geordie wankstain like that get a gig for the Mirror?

    Oh hang on he likes to stick his tongue up Gordon Brown’s arse live on TV.


  24. 54
    Papa Mong on Bore4 says:

    I can’t remember the last time I bought The Sun or even read it.


  25. 59
    Andy Coulson. Hung out to dry and facing a long sentence behind bars. says:

    ‘coveted’? Murdoch is toxic for years to come!


    • 62
      Anonymous says:

      Er…..we’ll let the readers decide that shall we? What’s the betting that he’ll be making a profit within a few months while the Guardian will be making even more losses, and Alan Rusbridger rewarding himself for further failure, the hypocritical, socialist bastard ….you mong.


    • 64
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      He will have the last laugh as he helps deliver Scottish independence and consign 41 Liebore MPs to oblivion, giving Cameron a 23 seat Tory majority :-)


    • 102
      'elf n safety ex-spurt says:

      best bury him then


  26. 61
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    We have oor jammies on. Let’s Party!


  27. 63
    Papa Mong On Bore4 says:

    @bumbandit. How very dare you. I read no newspaper. I much prefer to be brainwashed by left wing idiots on BBC.


  28. 65
    I'll give him three months tops says:

    Toby Clunge


  29. 67
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Funny! Thought I listened to Eddie Mare on PM for the hour in the background but never heard anything about Militwat and BurnhamOnSemen regarding the NHS debate! Anyone confirm?


  30. 68
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Axe the telly tax. Murdoch is not delivering Independence for Scotland. Many Scots want Devo Max. If the Scots were given the choice, they would vote DM.


    • 71
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Then it’s time England voted for independence from the Celts.

      This would give Cameron a 63 seat majority (even before the boundary changes) :-)


    • 73
      annette curton says:

      Yeah, I bet they would, cake and eat it, get the rest of the U.K to keep signing the cheques and pretend they are an independent country.


  31. 69


    Page 3.

    Nice birds but…

    Can’t remember one of them raising a woody.

    After some 40 plus years that seems quite an indictment (of the Sun!)


  32. 78
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Axe TTT! Well that aint gonna happen. Oh diddums.


  33. 87
    Mr & Mrs Brown in their pyjamas. says:

    @Anette Curtain. The English need the Scots. England is fecked without them. Fact. Even Cameron knows this. Yet they are idiots who want to break up the Union for a few extra Conservatives votes. Pathetic!
    Get your heads out of your arses and get a devolved English Parliament. More Ukippers!


  34. 94
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Cherie Bliar after yet more money. Fuck off you ugly hag.


    • 98
      annette curton says:

      Ha,Ha the harridan has sniffed out another potential pay day, you would think after the first few millions the lure of yet more filthy lucre would wear off, but no the temptation of a possible £100,000 from News International was an irresistible carrot dangling in front of her nose. Reminds me of those ads, are you a politician, someone in the public eye or a celebrity, your phone may have been hacked in the last 5 years, you too could receive a substantial sum, contact Rotter and Scum now!.


      • 119
        CHANGE YOUR PIN! says:

        What’s the betting that the voicemail PIN on Slotgob’s phone was either 0000 or 1234 because she’d never bothered to change it. What a money grabbing witch.


    • 127
      Rupert Murdoch says:

      I’m sorry, Cherie, I believe you have me confused with someone who’s afraid of you. We’ve never printed half the stuff we have on you and Tones, because we knew a day like this would come. When you see what we have, Cherie me sheila, you’ll be singing a different tune– this tune, in fact:


  35. 97
    not a machine says:

    I had wondered what the shelf life of the lib dem party political broadcast would be …..
    Dont think i will be blogging for some time , off for a break and some communing with nature , ohmmmmm . Mrs spelmans being overcome by the vapours of cash from , crop genetic corps , it wasnt much of fight either …..

    In fairness now slightly pissed off , with process of manfesto and then two fingered salute to certain commitments .

    Archbishop of canterbury has said little about gay marriage , but declares pollution to be a bad thing , hold on a mo pollution of the understanding of marriage , mmm works for me …..

    nitey night


  36. 103
    Nick says:

    So who were his bosses who had the old Screws slot?


  37. 104
    Frank Carson RIP says:


  38. 105
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    My 11 year old starts at a new free school in September….I’ll string Young’s balls up with piano wire if it turns out to be a mistake.


  39. 107
    Whois says:

    Is that the skull of Tessa Jowell that he is holding up?

    By the way, who is Toby Young?


  40. 108
    EdButLookBalls says:

    WTF! ChuckyMoney’s bint Luciana Berger MP complaining that the government isn’t doing owt about dangerous dogs FFS! What did Liebour do in the their 13 years, silly bint!


  41. 109
    Frank Carson (RIP) says:

    It’s the way I told ‘em!


  42. 111
    Midweek says:

    I could not believe what I was hearing from the mouth of Libby Purves this evening. Is radio 4 the new porn channel?


    “Touch would be good, when you touch something and it is soft, then suddenly it is hard”


    “Lifting girls is fine, you need strength for that, do you find it easy to get into a small box?”

    Then she had a giggle fit realising what she had just said.



    • 126
      Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes says:

      It used to be covered by saying “…[,]said the (Bishop/actress) to the (actress/Bishop)…” as a way of conveying that it could be a double-entendre; of course, a lot of the time the double-entendre was intentional and the “innocence” was feigned. Of course, you HAVE to give the benefit of the doubt– can you really accuse someone of being intentionally off-colour? That’s an awfully hard one– said the actress to the Bishop…


  43. 112
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:


  44. 114

    Give him the left jab !!


  45. 122
    Erm says:


  46. 129
    Stereotypes R Us says:

    oh dear, ed will be unhappy – but not surprised. And in the commons bar – how declasse!


  47. 133
    Naughty boy says:

    Labour MP Eric Joyce arrested on suspicion of assault at the Commons bar. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17136209


  48. 136
    Anonymous says:

    C’mon Guido get moving on Eric Joyce’s “Glasgae Kiss”.


    • 139
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Great headlines for the Sun on Sunday.

      Labour MP jailed for 2 years for violent assault and GBH.

      A grinning Alex Salmond welcomed the newly elected SNP MP for Falkirk.


  49. 141
    All Seeing Bri says:

    Pilgrim Protest

    Public sector union, Unison says it will fight to save the jobs of two of its representatives under threat at Swindon Borough Council.

    The local authority wants to cut the full-time post shared by activists Bob Cretchley and Karla Bradford as part of an “efficiency savings” drive.

    It says in the current economic climate the union should pay their wages.

    But Unison said the cost to the taxpayer was minimal, and it would fight to protect their jobs.

    A spokesman said the union would not “stand by and let this attack happen”.


  50. 143
    Anonymous says:

    labour heid the bae gies glasgae kiss tae Tory egit – boost in Scottish polls predicted for Millibrand


  51. 146
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Hey, just noticed Schrödinger’s cat is back, not that I ever realy knew if he was ever not there?


  52. 147
    Eric Joyce says:

    It’s not only Prescott who can throw a punch.


    • 148
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Sore head this morning Eric?

      You’ll soon have a sore arse when Big Bubba from B wing has finished with you :-)


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