February 21st, 2012

DSK’s Naked Hooker Test

If you ever get done for your taxes then Harry Redknapp provided the get out of jail free card with his successful “I can’t read or write and I’m too rich to bother dodging tax” defence. French socialist letch Dominic Strauss Khan’s is trying an equally ambitious line in his latest sex scandal. In reference to paid-for-orgy allegations, his lawyer, Henri Leclerk, said on his behalf:

“He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

It remains to be seen if a jury will be asked to accept that challenge live in court…


101 Comments

  1. 1
    Footie fan says:

    But Arry is a decent and well liked bloke.

  2. 2
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    DSK is smiling, so he’s obviously hopeful of the *right* outcome.

  3. 3
    Harry Redknapp says:

    Do ya fink I am Fick or sum fing?

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    seems quiet on here these days.

    zzzzz

  5. 5
    H@rry Redknapp says:

    Trust Guido to put up a post containing the word H@rry

  6. 6
    Easy says:

    Given his aesthetically challenged appearance surely it would be obvious which ones were prostitutes: the ones that agreed to shag him.

  7. 7
    oldasiahand says:

    You tell em DSK. Atta boy!

  8. 8
    Dick the Prick says:

    Can’t argue with that logic.

  9. 9
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. All those white women look the same to me.

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    There’s actually three in the back of the car

  11. 11
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He lived in Monaco, so he’s not short of a few bob, is he!

  12. 12
    Wishing On A Star says:

    I don’t know if I could distinguish between prostitutes and non-prostitutes but I’m willing to try if DSK’s lawyer will provide me with a room full…..

  13. 13
    You got more mouth than a cows got cunt says:

    I sympathise with him

    I can’t tell one Tory Hunt from a libdem Hunt nowadays

  14. 14
    genghiz the kahn says:

    It can’t be often that a French politician turns out to be a bigger shit than Chirac, Mitterand or Giscard.

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    I use the Redknapp defence when Utility Salesmen Call. Just tell them I’m so well off I don’t need to save money on my leccy bill. They’re stumped.

  16. 16
    Ah! Monika says:

    LOL

  17. 17
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Challenge duly accepted.

    Please supply the ladies for my perusal.

  18. 18
    Loungelizard says:

    The prostitutes are the ones with ‘Swipe Card Here’ tattoo d on their ar…..

  19. 19
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    What kind of parties? Oh! those kind of parties.

    Why, Mr LeClerk, would it be necessary for your client to attempt to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked women?

    Because your client attends ‘parties’ frequented by prostitutes and other naked women.

    In that case, if your client did not fund the attendance of prostitutes at those parties, who did? And why did they do it? Did they have an ulterior motive? If so, what?

    Mr Leclerk, in what way did you think you are ‘helping’ your client?

  20. 20
    Harry Redknapp's dog says:

    Never put your bitches on account.

  21. 21
    Punter says:

    All the working girls I’ve had the pleasure of, errm, pleasuring have removed all their body hair. Not an infallible indicator, but…

  22. 22
    jgm2 says:

    That could work if the hookers got barcodes or those square data matrix codes tatoo-ed on their arse. Then you could swipe it with your smart phone and the money could be deducted automatically from your account.

    Cash free whoring. It would take some of the risk out of it for the girls. And lets see a pimp try and get his hands on that cash.

    I commend it to the house.

  23. 23
    jgm2 says:

    I try to avoid bald hookers. Particularly Brian Moore. He’s a nasty c*unt.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    He is neither Conservative nor Liberal with his favours. He is one of those put the “social” into “socialist” and took out more mere cash in return.

  25. 25
    School for scoundrels says:

    Would it not be safe to assume that ALL the young fit nekkid women looking to ‘party’ with scrotty old millionaires were prostitutes?

  26. 26
  27. 27
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Harry?

  28. 28
    genghiz the kahn says:

    +2.

  29. 29
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Yep, H@arry filter is on.

  30. 30
    David Blunkett says:

    I’ve had a lot of gorgeous women. The last one was so voracious in bed, she often ended up barking in joy.

  31. 31
    Rene Artois says:

    Does his lawyer wiggle his glasses and say “It is I, LeClerk!” at regular intervals?

  32. 32
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Strauss Kahn seems to be under the same delusion as Berlusconi – that young women actually fancy him.

  33. 33

    No he’s not. He’s a miserable Hunt, a barrow boy, and nearly did for West Ham, Pompey and Southampton when in charge there.

  34. 34
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Whilst we wait for the moderation to unmoderate all instances of H a r r y, a bit of French totty for you…

  35. 35
    Mandy R!ce-Davies says:

    M. LeClerk is just like that Berlusconi bloke’s brief, I reckon; he would say something like that, wouldn’t he? That bit about “He just happens to go to parties at which there might be a pro or two intermixed with all the other naked birds”? Froggy, please; I used to go to such parties, remember? If anyone was a hooker, they were usually the escort of some bloke who didn’t want to show up empty-handed and look a right failure. We weren’t exactly party favours, you know; we DID have our standards!

  36. 36
    Lard Pressclot says:

    What on earth do young, nubile nymphs find attractive in tubby, balding and slimey politicians ?

  37. 37
    AC1 says:

    She sets off my “boils bunnies in her spare time” sensor.

  38. 38
    Diane Abbott says:

    Couldn’t put it better myself

  39. 39
    jgm2 says:

    When I read about Prescott’s reference to his ‘third son’ I thought Tracey Temple had had a baby.

  40. 40
    AC1 says:

    Similarly amusing for those who enjoy a bit of melon schadenfreude

    http://www.bishop-hill.net/blog/2012/2/21/gleick-confesses.html

  41. 41
    Labour dirty tricks backfires says:

    Discussing the Lansley ambush on the Wright Stuff this morning, the panel said the attempt to make him look bad backfired because he came across as quiet and reasonable and the granny came across as a crazed harridan. Another Labour stunt goes wrong!

  42. 42
    Comment of the Day! says:

    That made me laugh out loud!

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    At least he’s not Terry Venables.

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    No one could ever accuse me of cavorting with prostitutes.

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    If it’s back-firing with ‘The Wright Stuff’ demographic then it’s a total clusterfuck for Labour. Them’s their natural-born voters.

  46. 46
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    +1

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    Actually Gordon a lot of people (not me I should add) have suggested there might be a contractual basis to your marriage.

  48. 48
    The Impartial observer says:

    “I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    In DSK’s case, thought it’d be fairly easy. They’re the ones he didn’t have to use force on.

  49. 49
    Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

    If Lansley had said on camera ” you are a crazed harridan madam and your ideas are no basis for a modern NHS” would that have been his Gillian Duffy moment?

  50. 50
    Polly Toynbee says:

    It’s not true I said Workfare works. That’s a vicious smear. I’ll be calling my lawyers, right after I finish my lunch here at my villa in Tuscany.

  51. 51
    M says:

    It must be his ability to make one laugh
    “He’s a comic genius”

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Alex says:

    For f*ck’s sake: You ask the naked woman what she does for a living.

    May counsel for the prosecution have a great time with Mrs. S-K telling her that her husband doesn’t know whether she is a prostitute.

  54. 54
    Handycock (Immigrant Trafficker) says:

    My defence has always been. ‘No comment, please ring the Grand Master.’ It always worked for me. ‘Arry and Terry both manage Portsmouth Football Club. Do you think it says something about the city?

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    Aye. Self-proclaimed Climate Change specialist and visiting lecturer to some Chinese university and he decides to build 100,000 new homes on a flood-plain.

    Comedy genius.

  56. 56
    cheddar gorge says:

    By the way why do the BBC think arry Red Nap is a good egg? I thought tax dodgers were bad people.

  57. 57
    Weatherman Alex Deakin has his mind on things other than the weather says:

  58. 58
    jgm2 says:

    Terry Venables is a bit like Gorgeous George Galloway. He’s very quick to ring for a libel lawyer if you suggest that he’s anything less than a pillar of the community.

  59. 59
    Westminster Gossip says:

    Simply put; he is a rake and a disgrace!! End of…

  60. 60
    Mod Botty says:

    Probably cuz Guido has put up a post mentioning a name that is unmentionable in the comments.

  61. 61
    jgm2 says:

    I thought he’d been cleared of the use of any force during the New York incident.

  62. 62
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    They certainly fancy me.

  63. 63
    Stinkfinger says:

    I’m not saying she’s a gold digger m’lud but she aint messing with no broke N*****’s

  64. 64
    AC1 says:

    Feeding the leviathan is bad, not good.

  65. 65
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    You talking about me?

  66. 66
    dr. sipp says:

    if a civil servant is naked does that mean he/she works for the government?

  67. 67
    jgm2 says:

    If I was presented with a room full of naked women I wouldn’t be interested in making too much small talk to be honest.

    I’d just figure that today was my lucky day.

  68. 68
    Investigator says:

    Guido

    Your reference to Goldman Sachs

    You should add http://www.presseurop.eu/en/content/article/1177241-our-friends-goldman-sachs

    That Mario Draghi, the new President of the European central Bank was the VP at Goldman Sachs responsible for European “companies and countries” responsible for the “masking” of Greek debt…

    Yet another scandal to add to the endless stream that Goldman sachs have produced over the years

  69. 69
    Investigator says:

    Your reference re Goldman Sachs

    This fills in the background on Mario Draghi as well FFS

    http://www.presseurop.eu/en/content/article/1177241-our-friends-goldman-sachs

  70. 70
  71. 71

    did you have a difficult childhood?

  72. 72
  73. 73
    The Impartial observer says:

    Sorry, did anyone mention new york?

  74. 74
    Lord Rothchmild says:

    Money !!!

  75. 75
    The Real World says:

    “I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    Ask her ‘How much?’

  76. 76
    Larry says:

    Were you referring to Harry ?

  77. 77
    DSK says:

    Mon Dieu Monsieur LeClerk, do not mention ze fallen madonna wiz ze big boobies.

  78. 78
    Len Lottery says:

    Provided you buy your TV licence, the BBC isn’t worried!

  79. 79
    Brown's Shitstains says:

    ‘arry is a scrounger!

  80. 80
    Grumpy Student says:

    Surely you can tell by the Visa/Mastercard logos next to the “slot”.

  81. 81
    Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

    Old wrinkly DSK would shag the proverbial barbers floor-what his wife has caught from his wrinkly old infected member is anyone’s guess!

  82. 82
    dr. sipp says:

    a prostitute is cheaper

  83. 83
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    Don’t you lot realise that when Hollande is President DSK wil become the French equivalent of PM.

  84. 84
    Woof woof says:

    Goldman Sachs are sponsoring a greyhound – it’s called The Running Dog Of International Capitalism.

  85. 85
    Alex says:

    If DS-K can’t tell the difference between a naked woman and a naked prostitute, he isn’t much of an economist. The only difference is price equilibrium, supply and demand.

  86. 86
  87. 87
    Madame Strauss Kahn says:

    I know exactly what you mean, ma cherie. I wouldn’t touch the old stoat with the proverbial bargepole.

  88. 88
    Dr Gordon Brown says:

    Yes, but he would have been quoted out of context. As I was.

  89. 89
    Mrs Brown says:

    He’s never touched me. I swear to god.

  90. 90
    Lloyd Barclay says:

    +4

  91. 91
    Tam Pax says:

    PM = pre-menstrual?

  92. 92
    Bluebottle says:

    All the lady’s clothes are in the warderobe.

  93. 93
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    What is wrong with a few socialists getting together in a posh hotel and letting their hair down?

  94. 94
    Professional tattooist says:

    I am willing to devote my time to trying to make this proposal work-

  95. 95
    Bluebottle says:

    Did you used to play on the wing for Foolham?

  96. 96
    Bluebottle says:

    Harry is not a pillar of the community he is a right winger.

  97. 97
    Jim says:

    Agreed.

  98. 98
    Jim says:

    No. Itnever went to trial.
    It was the worker that was convicted.
    The Hotel did not even have to change its Risk Assesment.
    That’s the USA for you.
    Women Beware!

  99. 99
    Phwoar ! says:

    I accept the challenge, bring them on :)

  100. 100
    ardepy says:

    I can help him. If the naked woman is young and attractive and wants to go to bed with him, she’s a prostitute. The alternative – that she finds him attractive – is absurd.

  101. 101
    Coiled Spring says:

    As if any woman except for a prostitute would willingly bed down with that elderly, ugly, fat bastard Strauss Kahn. I bet he smells as bad as he looks.


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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