February 21st, 2012

DSK’s Naked Hooker Test

If you ever get done for your taxes then Harry Redknapp provided the get out of jail free card with his successful “I can’t read or write and I’m too rich to bother dodging tax” defence. French socialist letch Dominic Strauss Khan’s is trying an equally ambitious line in his latest sex scandal. In reference to paid-for-orgy allegations, his lawyer, Henri Leclerk, said on his behalf:

“He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

It remains to be seen if a jury will be asked to accept that challenge live in court…


101 Comments

  1. 1
    Footie fan says:

    But Arry is a decent and well liked bloke.

    Like

  2. 2
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    DSK is smiling, so he’s obviously hopeful of the *right* outcome.

    Like

  3. 4
    Anonymous says:

    seems quiet on here these days.

    zzzzz

    Like

  4. 6
    Easy says:

    Given his aesthetically challenged appearance surely it would be obvious which ones were prostitutes: the ones that agreed to shag him.

    Like

  5. 7
    oldasiahand says:

    You tell em DSK. Atta boy!

    Like

  6. 8
    Dick the Prick says:

    Can’t argue with that logic.

    Like

  7. 11
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He lived in Monaco, so he’s not short of a few bob, is he!

    Like

  8. 12
    Wishing On A Star says:

    I don’t know if I could distinguish between prostitutes and non-prostitutes but I’m willing to try if DSK’s lawyer will provide me with a room full…..

    Like

    • 18
      Loungelizard says:

      The prostitutes are the ones with ‘Swipe Card Here’ tattoo d on their ar…..

      Like

      • 22
        jgm2 says:

        That could work if the hookers got barcodes or those square data matrix codes tatoo-ed on their arse. Then you could swipe it with your smart phone and the money could be deducted automatically from your account.

        Cash free whoring. It would take some of the risk out of it for the girls. And lets see a pimp try and get his hands on that cash.

        I commend it to the house.

        Like

  9. 13
    You got more mouth than a cows got cunt says:

    I sympathise with him

    I can’t tell one Tory Hunt from a libdem Hunt nowadays

    Like

    • 24
      Anonymous says:

      He is neither Conservative nor Liberal with his favours. He is one of those put the “social” into “socialist” and took out more mere cash in return.

      Like

  10. 14
    genghiz the kahn says:

    It can’t be often that a French politician turns out to be a bigger shit than Chirac, Mitterand or Giscard.

    Like

  11. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    I use the Redknapp defence when Utility Salesmen Call. Just tell them I’m so well off I don’t need to save money on my leccy bill. They’re stumped.

    Like

  12. 17
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Challenge duly accepted.

    Please supply the ladies for my perusal.

    Like

  13. 19
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    What kind of parties? Oh! those kind of parties.

    Why, Mr LeClerk, would it be necessary for your client to attempt to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked women?

    Because your client attends ‘parties’ frequented by prostitutes and other naked women.

    In that case, if your client did not fund the attendance of prostitutes at those parties, who did? And why did they do it? Did they have an ulterior motive? If so, what?

    Mr Leclerk, in what way did you think you are ‘helping’ your client?

    Like

  14. 20
    Harry Redknapp's dog says:

    Never put your bitches on account.

    Like

  15. 21
    Punter says:

    All the working girls I’ve had the pleasure of, errm, pleasuring have removed all their body hair. Not an infallible indicator, but…

    Like

  16. 30
    David Blunkett says:

    I’ve had a lot of gorgeous women. The last one was so voracious in bed, she often ended up barking in joy.

    Like

  17. 31
    Rene Artois says:

    Does his lawyer wiggle his glasses and say “It is I, LeClerk!” at regular intervals?

    Like

  18. 32
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Strauss Kahn seems to be under the same delusion as Berlusconi – that young women actually fancy him.

    Like

  19. 35
    Mandy R!ce-Davies says:

    M. LeClerk is just like that Berlusconi bloke’s brief, I reckon; he would say something like that, wouldn’t he? That bit about “He just happens to go to parties at which there might be a pro or two intermixed with all the other naked birds”? Froggy, please; I used to go to such parties, remember? If anyone was a hooker, they were usually the escort of some bloke who didn’t want to show up empty-handed and look a right failure. We weren’t exactly party favours, you know; we DID have our standards!

    Like

    • 87
      Madame Strauss Kahn says:

      I know exactly what you mean, ma cherie. I wouldn’t touch the old stoat with the proverbial bargepole.

      Like

  20. 36
    Lard Pressclot says:

    What on earth do young, nubile nymphs find attractive in tubby, balding and slimey politicians ?

    Like

  21. 41
    Labour dirty tricks backfires says:

    Discussing the Lansley ambush on the Wright Stuff this morning, the panel said the attempt to make him look bad backfired because he came across as quiet and reasonable and the granny came across as a crazed harridan. Another Labour stunt goes wrong!

    Like

    • 45
      jgm2 says:

      If it’s back-firing with ‘The Wright Stuff’ demographic then it’s a total clusterfuck for Labour. Them’s their natural-born voters.

      Like

    • 49
      Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

      If Lansley had said on camera ” you are a crazed harridan madam and your ideas are no basis for a modern NHS” would that have been his Gillian Duffy moment?

      Like

  22. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    No one could ever accuse me of cavorting with prostitutes.

    Like

  23. 48
    The Impartial observer says:

    “I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    In DSK’s case, thought it’d be fairly easy. They’re the ones he didn’t have to use force on.

    Like

  24. 50
    Polly Toynbee says:

    It’s not true I said Workfare works. That’s a vicious smear. I’ll be calling my lawyers, right after I finish my lunch here at my villa in Tuscany.

    Like

  25. 52
    Allo Allo says:

    Like

  26. 53
    Alex says:

    For f*ck’s sake: You ask the naked woman what she does for a living.

    May counsel for the prosecution have a great time with Mrs. S-K telling her that her husband doesn’t know whether she is a prostitute.

    Like

    • 67
      jgm2 says:

      If I was presented with a room full of naked women I wouldn’t be interested in making too much small talk to be honest.

      I’d just figure that today was my lucky day.

      Like

  27. 57
    Weatherman Alex Deakin has his mind on things other than the weather says:

    Like

  28. 59
    Westminster Gossip says:

    Simply put; he is a rake and a disgrace!! End of…

    Like

  29. 63
    Stinkfinger says:

    I’m not saying she’s a gold digger m’lud but she aint messing with no broke N*****’s

    Like

  30. 66
    dr. sipp says:

    if a civil servant is naked does that mean he/she works for the government?

    Like

  31. 68
    Investigator says:

    Guido

    Your reference to Goldman Sachs

    You should add http://www.presseurop.eu/en/content/article/1177241-our-friends-goldman-sachs

    That Mario Draghi, the new President of the European central Bank was the VP at Goldman Sachs responsible for European “companies and countries” responsible for the “masking” of Greek debt…

    Yet another scandal to add to the endless stream that Goldman sachs have produced over the years

    Like

  32. 69
    Investigator says:

    Your reference re Goldman Sachs

    This fills in the background on Mario Draghi as well FFS

    http://www.presseurop.eu/en/content/article/1177241-our-friends-goldman-sachs

    Like

  33. 72
  34. 75
    The Real World says:

    “I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

    Ask her ‘How much?’

    Like

  35. 79
    Brown's Shitstains says:

    ‘arry is a scrounger!

    Like

  36. 80
    Grumpy Student says:

    Surely you can tell by the Visa/Mastercard logos next to the “slot”.

    Like

  37. 82
    dr. sipp says:

    a prostitute is cheaper

    Like

  38. 83
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    Don’t you lot realise that when Hollande is President DSK wil become the French equivalent of PM.

    Like

  39. 85
    Alex says:

    If DS-K can’t tell the difference between a naked woman and a naked prostitute, he isn’t much of an economist. The only difference is price equilibrium, supply and demand.

    Like

  40. 92
    Bluebottle says:

    All the lady’s clothes are in the warderobe.

    Like

  41. 93
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    What is wrong with a few socialists getting together in a posh hotel and letting their hair down?

    Like

  42. 100
    ardepy says:

    I can help him. If the naked woman is young and attractive and wants to go to bed with him, she’s a prostitute. The alternative – that she finds him attractive – is absurd.

    Like

  43. 101
    Coiled Spring says:

    As if any woman except for a prostitute would willingly bed down with that elderly, ugly, fat bastard Strauss Kahn. I bet he smells as bad as he looks.

    Like


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