February 21st, 2012

Chuka Jousting for His Career

Normally Chuka is so in line with public outrage that his position shifts before the public have even worked out what they are angry about, so it’s rare to hear people declaring that he “got it wrong”. The Standard reported last week:

“A rising star in the Labour party came under fire today for supporting a decision to cancel the Lambeth Country Show. Shadow business secretary Chuka Umunna backed Lambeth council after it scrapped the free three-day event, which attracts up to 200,000 people each July.”

In 2010, Chuka said the show was what the community “was all about”:

So why was he prepared to sell his constituents out this time?

Brixton residents are said to be “up in arms” about the “eccentric mix of outdoor musical performances, sheep shearing, jousting and vegetable-growing” being cancelled so that resources are not diverted from the Olympics. Under fire, the Labour council, led by one Steve Reed, was boosted when Chuka weighed in on their side. 

Things haven’t always been so cosy between these two though. As a long-term local councillor, Reed believed he would be a shoo in for the Streatham seat until some hot-shot, sharp-suited lawyer, with friends in high places, came out of nowhere. However with Streatham preparing to feel the full weight of the Boundary Review, Reed has his local MP by the balls.

Chuka is first in line to take the new mega-safe Brixton seat, but all that could change. As a Brixton councillor, Reed has a lot of local support and could make life difficult for Chuka very easily. In choosing to keep Reed sweet on this issue, Chuka has put his future career before his constituents. He’s not wrong on public opinion here, it’s just beneath him…


  1. 1
    Aint he our saviour? says:

    Thought Chuka was the British Obama?

  2. 2
    jgm2 says:

    Shoo in?

  3. 3
    misterned says:

    Yup, he’s just as much of a lying, twisting, two faced, dick as Obama.

  4. 4
    Chucky says:

    My suits are rather expensive.

  5. 5
    Neo-Guido says:

    controversial.. much debate.

  6. 6
    AC1 says:

    Yet again the fucking Olympics fucking something up.

  7. 7
    Raving Loon says:

    Chuka went to St Dunstan’s College, a fee paying school in South East London. Just saying.

  8. 8
    JuliaM says:

    “He’s not wrong on the public opinion here, it’s just beneath him.”

    Thus proving he really IS the British Obama!

  9. 9
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Is Chuuka shagging the blonde? If not perhaps I could have a crack at her.

  10. 10
    Blank sheet of paper says:

    But if you have no policy how can you be wrong?

  11. 11
    jgm2 says:

    Naaah. Shoo in. As in shoo an animal into a field. What have shoes got to do with anything?

  12. 12
    JH says:

    I wonder if they would cancel the Notting Hill Festival because of the Olympics.

    Of course not. That would be racist. Let’s pick on something evocative of culture closer to home instead.

  13. 13
    Peter Expat says:

    Funny to think Brixton was once a Tory seat.

  14. 14
    Did you Know says:

    …that Chuka & Guido have 50% in common?
    they both have Irish mothers

  15. 15
    Grammar Nazi says:

    100% grammatically correct. “Shoo” as in usher, not “Shoe” as in footwear.

  16. 16
    Neo-Guido says:

    You and John Rentoul have now explained that.

    : )

  17. 17
    Stinkfinger says:

    Lambeth Huntry fair will consist of Sheep shagging,clam jousting and vegetables with special needs.
    Bring your kids but best leave your purse at home.

  18. 18
    Show who the boss! says:

    Just blame the intern ;)

  19. 19
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Get the popcorn in for more of this Liebore infighting over the boundary changes, added to Murdoch backing Scottish independence (It’s the Scottish Sun what won it!) and hopefully Welsh independence as well.

    Miliband will be 90 seats down before even fighting the next election :-)

  20. 20

    Only uncritical, unthinking, hereditary Labour voting simpletons would think Chukup is a suitable person to represent them in Parliament. That he’s a status seeking, social climbing chancer who will do, and say, anything to achieve his overweening ambition doesn’t enter into his constituents’ tiny minds.

    His voters are so thick they can’t see he’s using them for his own selfish ends. Does anyone else think this shyster really believes the shite he continually spouts?

    Umunna is a prime example of the downside of affirmative action.

  21. 21
    Andrew Jones says:

    Another exciting story from Guido.

    Seriously, why don’t you become a politician yourself Paul and try to make a positive difference, instead of throwing these insignificant pebbles from the sidelines?

    Go on, step outside your comfort zone!

  22. 22
    AC1 says:

    Mandlesons dad Ralph “built (Jerrymandered) the tories out of London”.

    Making it the wonderful diverse mix of African voodoo child-sacrifice, Caribbean crime gangs and arab dodgy dealing it is today.

  23. 23
    AC1 says:

    I think the Welsh are staying quiet and hoping the loot keeps rolling across the border.

  24. 24
    Dick the Prick says:

    Or an English referendum? Oh, sorry, do excuse me, the nurse is late again

  25. 25

    Shows what a corrupt local political party can do when it gerrymanders the electoral demographics with immigration.

  26. 26
    nellnewman says:

    chuckourmoney has put his career before his constituents.

    Not much of a surprise there. Ever since the days of bliar and gordon, labour always made it clear that they thought the common man and woman was beneath them and their lofty troughing ideals.

  27. 27
    lola says:

    C***a is a c**t

  28. 28
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Chukka: You may not know that before I entered Parliament, I worked on a farm in New Zealand, shearing sheep.

    One day I walked into the woolshed and to my horror discovered a workmate being extremely familiar with one of our woolly friends.

    ‘MATE!’ I said, ‘you’re supposed to be SHEARING that sheep!’

    With a grin (and a grunt) he replied ‘I’m not sharing Matilda with ANYONE!’

  29. 29
    Richard Reid says:

    Shoo, Chuka !

  30. 30
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Chuka the man who put the count into Lambeth Country Fair.

  31. 31
    East India Company wallah says:

    If the slimy gre,aser came round these parts the footwear word would be appropriate

  32. 32
    East India Company wallah says:

    you have used the P word-you will be getting detention

  33. 33
    Neo-Guido says:

    comment of the day!

  34. 34
    So what does it mean? says:

  35. 35
    Unimpressed says:

    Yup, sport all over Britain has lost vast amounts of funding because of the Olympic wankfest.

  36. 36
    Prince Charles ' Doppelganger says:

    Get the spelling right ol’ boy !! Either your name’s Chukka ( double k ) or you can’t play polo with our set . Nor can you wear Chukka boots :

    Chukka boots or turf boots (sometimes referred to as bucks) are ankle-length boots with two or three pairs of eyelets for lacing.[1]They are usually made from calfskin or suede,[1] although they have also been made from more exotic materials such as crocodile.[2] They were popular in the late 1940s and 1950s as casual wear.[3][4] The name chukka comes from the game of polo.[3] Chukka boots are similar to desert boots, worn by British forces in the Western Desert Campaign of World War II.[3][5] Desert boots are looser at the ankle than chukka boots and have a crepe sole.[4]

  37. 37
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Chuka, what a hypocritical shit you are.

  38. 38
    Tom says:

    Where do the 200,000 come from?
    Who are saying Brixton residents are up in arms?

    Brixton residents have said to me the event is a pile of old wank.

    Story out of thin air time. You need to try harder.

  39. 39
    Rupert my hero says:

    How many other Communist / Labour Councils will still spend Millions on these Communist style free events, when declaring they have to charge Old Age Pensioners for their care because of cutbacks. What is the difference between the Nazis and the Communists…. answer….. very little, the name mostly.
    How much money is Newham going to waste this year whilst cutting back on help for the aged, Socialist Promotion First, People Second. Carnival before Food, Spectacle and Entertainment before Care and Services.

  40. 40
    Phuquit says:

    And there’s me thinking that it was choux as in pastry.

  41. 41
  42. 42
    Some Geezer wot thinks everything for Chuka Umunna shouldn't be so free and easy says:

    I suppose the Lambeth Country Show people will tell Chuka Umanna off and do as they damn well pleasey…

  43. 43
    That's Mister Umunna to you, tory boy says:

    Chuka will be the next leader of the Labour Party.

    Chuka will be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain.

    Just wait and see…..

  44. 44
    Brown's Shitstains says:

    ‘A rising star’? Labour is full of artificial politicians. All style and no substance. Chukus yer money can only damage the Labour Party. What is the point of Chuck?

  45. 45
    Neo-Guido says:

    well the boss man told.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    When did one mp ever make a difference?

  47. 47
    JH says:

    Andrew has shown himself – by protecting Mr Umunna – to be a good person. Let’s all give him some group affirmation.

  48. 48
    Director of Broadmoor (Care of the Clinically Insane) says:


    Nurse we have another escapee who’s managed to get access to the staff computer.

    You really must check that the straps on the strait-jacket are nice and tight.

  49. 49
    Tachybaptus says:

    It may be an eccentric mix of outdoor musical performances, sheep shearing, jousting and vegetable-growing, and it may be a waste of ratepayers’ money, but you can actually go to it if you feel the urge. Unlike the Olympics, for which taxpayers are paying through the nose but can’t get tickets for.

    (Not that I’d want to. When you’ve seen one lot of people running in circles, you’ve seen them all.)

  50. 50
    JH says:

    Yes – except by then they’ll be calling it ‘Western Somalia’ as opposed to ‘Great Britain’.

  51. 51
    Gonk says:

    A country show without any field sports.

  52. 52
    Displaced Brummie says:

    What happened was, after years of enjoying the Country Show, the Labour councillors realised that the Country = Tory, so that they would have to withdraw all support for it.

    Chukka just, well, Chukka just is what he is, a fool in a suit.

  53. 53
    I'm not racist but... says:

    The court heard that some of the girls were raped and physically assaulted and some were forced to have sex with “several men in a day, several times a week”.

    The court was told that some of the defendants paid the girls and took payments from other men to whom they supplied the girls for sex.

    Kabeer Hassan, 24, Abdul Aziz, 41, Abdul Rauf, 43, Mohammed Sajid, 35, Adil Khan, 42, Abdul Qayyum, 43, Mohammed Amin, 44, Qamar Shahzad, 29, Liaquat Shah, 41, and Hamid Safi, 22, have all pleaded not guilty along with a 59-year-old man who cannot be named for legal reasons.

  54. 54
    ROFL says:

  55. 55
    Andrew Jones says:

    Aww, thanks JH, you old racialist rascal!

  56. 56
    BBC says:

    “The court heard that some of the girls were deeply enriched, and some were enriched “several men in a day, several times a week”.

    In other news – kittens. Cute kittens. Look at the kittens!

  57. 57
    Ah! Monika says:

    26th most influential person in politics. Why would he become a back bencher when front benchers read his every word?

  58. 58
    Whatever happened to cockneys? says:

    The decision to Balkanise the UK, was taken at national level. Local government just facilitated it, as entirely naturally, the newcomers wanted to live among their own kith and kin. Those who could see what was happening simply left and the urban downward spiral was set in motion.

  59. 59
    Lord Snooty says:

    The jugged heir is orff, don’tcha know.

  60. 60
    Brown's Shitst@ins says:

    What a bunch of losers. Chukus yer money is not a rising star. He is sad little Bliarite -all style and no substance- who talks shite everytime he opens his mouth. He will never be Labour’s answer to Barak Obama, just a poor man’s version.
    I am so loving how Labour are making complete arses of themselves at the moment. They couldn’t run a TUCk shop. What a bunch of pathetic clowns.

  61. 61
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The bird is rather fit though.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Labour voting benefit sponger says:

    Come on, what did you expect from the v1le Labour sc11m? If Chukka Uppee paid the right level of tax he might gain more credibility.

  64. 64
    ToonBob... says:

    Men ‘plied girls with drink and drugs for sex’

    Beeb actually running the story.

  65. 65
    I believe everything the BBC tell me says:

    That would be one of those white christian rape gangs then.

  66. 66
    Supernova says:

    Why do they always refer to him as a rising star? Seriously, you can’t mention Chuka without mentioning him being a rising star.

    He doesn’t appear remarkable in any sense whatsoever, certainly not worth being described as a rising star.

  67. 67
    Putin the Worldtorights says:

    Scrub the words ‘elections’ and ‘to’.

  68. 68
    Arthur Mullard says:

    Chuka is a chameleon-ie a reptile that can change its colour to blend in with its surroundings. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually white, but changed hue for career advantage.

  69. 69
    BBC says:

    “The 100 guilty men got a sentence totaling 55 years”

  70. 70
    William Hill says:

    We are not taking bets on whether they are receiving Legal Aid

  71. 71
    will says:

    between chukka and my MP in tooting Sadiq Khan they are both lawyers and greasey pole climbers who as lawyers took soft options employment law and immigration law and not proper law such as criminal or commercial

  72. 72
    Simps says:

    Your dad used to make barrels.

  73. 73
    Show Business for ugly people says:

    unreal and bizarrely selective moderation anyone?

  74. 74
    The beast of TRALEE says:

    tradiotional brixton events such as

    One man and his pitbull

    drive by clay pigeon shooting

    ganja bake off

    wreath arranging

    a “steal” band

    stab the vicar

  75. 75
    nellnewman says:

    You make a very good point T.

  76. 76
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    That means the cat is well and truly among the thieving pigeons in Brussels.

    That is of course if he and Cameron can hold their nerve and not collapse at the first prod from the EU comrades collective.

  77. 77
  78. 78
    Yokel says:

    I don’t live in London, but isn’t Lambeth part of that city?
    A ‘country’ fair?

  79. 79
    Seb and his Willy H says:

    You’re just an ungrateful, unappreciative pleb.

  80. 80
    Countdown dick-an-'arry's corner says:

    And spookily, their names begin with capital letters, each has five letters, neither has a ‘z’ in them, the middle letters of their names are both vowels, and both names end in a vowel.

  81. 81
    splish splash says:

    Aaaaaah, Bradfords (very) expensive and unwanted puddle!

  82. 82
    Why would he says:

    EdMPress has 2700 twitter followers, Guido 64K

  83. 83
    albacore says:

    Curiouser and curiouser. Wonder who took the decision finally to allow the media to report this? Perhaps the bomb scare which emptied the court left Big Brother with no option.
    The MailOnline has the story in greater depth but can accept no comments “for legal reasons”.
    Can’t see any mention of the abuse being classed a hate crime, though, and, of course, most of the defendants are out on bail.

  84. 84
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Chucka brick in it !

  85. 85
    nellnewman says:

    Only in his dreams.

  86. 86
    BBC says:

    Double plus good, Mr Jones. You’ve pressed the right paddle so here, have a pellet of food.

  87. 87
    William Hill says:

    Or, for that matter, as to whether a ‘protective cordon’ has been thrown around the ‘community’ of the perpetrators.

  88. 88
    JH says:

    No – they are too busy trying to stop pooves from staying at their B+Bs.

  89. 89
    East India Company wallah says:

    BUT that would mean both their dads are irish mother-f##kers

  90. 90
    Fish says:

    DP: Act 1, Scene 6.

    Loud noise of mobile phone interference thankfully interrupts Chukky rambling on.

    Brillo: Is your phone turned on Chucky?

    Chucky: (Indignantly) No. It’s not on.

    Brillo (disbelief)

    (Chucky surreptTITiously slips his hand in his jacket and turns phone off)

    Chucky conforms to the comlete manual of Socialist denial – day is night, black is white, on is off!

  91. 91
    Ends and means says:

    Noble corruption, its what the left does.

  92. 92
    Michael Jackson says:

    Why would anyone do that ?

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    It has been going for over 30 years non-stop, eccentric is a good description, but also immensely popular, politically incorrect (almost certain to incluce spoof Olympics that would give Locog apoplexy) and a true example/catalyst of local community initiatives outside of the control of the apparatchiks. Hence the reason the Council has never liked it and is seizing on an excuse to kill it off.

  94. 94
    geekparent says:

    He comes across as a children’s TV presenter in that video – but that’s the closest I’ve ever seen him get to a smile.

  95. 95
    Rat's arse says:

    Like it ‘Beast’. :)

  96. 96
    Lickity-Split says:

    what is it with all these Leftie’s? They all have the same facial expression all the time! Furrowed brow, a combination of extreme irritation coupled with confusion. That cooper is the same. Sallow faced bind – you’d have to be a special kind of twisted to marry that foul congregation of misery and intolerance!

    Ahhh glad that’s off my chest

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Blacksmith to job applicant, “Have you ever shoed a horse?”, “No, but I’ve told a cow to f**k off.” Eternal thanks to Humphrey Lyttleton.

  98. 98
    ToonBob... says:

    perhaps ‘cos they is moose slims?

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    So were the newcomers racist?

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Course they’re out on bail, who’d drive the lawyers around if they were on remand?

  101. 101
    mote says:

    I wouldnt sign off the UK budget. Its as fucked up as the EU one

  102. 102
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    “I don’t live in London, but isn’t Lambeth part of that city?
    A ‘country’ fair?”

    Of course it’s a country fair, it encompasses residents from Nigeria, Ghana, Somalia, and every third world country under the sun but our own, geddit?

  103. 103
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Shoo fly marches on…

  104. 104
    Herne Hill Harrier says:

    Anonymous says: ‘…a true example/catalyst of local community initiatives outside of the control of the apparatchiks. Hence the reason the Council has never liked it and is seizing on an excuse to kill it off.’

    Considering that it’s been ORGANISED by the bloody council for the last 30 years… by the Amenities Department in my day and is largely staffed by council workers, I think you may have misinformed yourself.

  105. 105
    Keith Vaz says:

    Why not ask me?

  106. 106
    Veggys is us says:

    You mean choux as in cabbages? Suits Chucka perfickly

  107. 107
    Seb Acious-Cyst says:

    Are you participating in the Oh Limp Dick games then?

  108. 108
    Dark in 'ere innit says:

    Isn’t St Dunstan’s a school for the blind?

  109. 109
    Shore tarse says:

    Wot, no dwarf chukka-ing?

  110. 110
    Sydney Shore says:

    What ever happened to Cockneys? We’re all in Australia mate. Come and join us me old cock sparrer.

  111. 111
    Sydney Shore says:

    He obviously could not tell the difference between ‘six’ and ‘sex’ as enunciated in those far off isles.

  112. 112
    Sacre bleu says:

    Oh mon Dieu! Zis means zeez troffing MEPs will now throw their jouets out of ze pram as zey were expecting a 3% increase in zer salaries.

  113. 113
    Sam Beaux says:

    In case you hadn’t noticed, the 200,000 come mainly from the Caribbean. Perhaps you should change your glasses.

  114. 114
    Any Old Irony says:


  115. 115
    Any Old Irony says:

    More like a rising czar if you don’t look out!

  116. 116
    How to spend my cash in one easy lesson says:

    Higher, faster, further.

  117. 117
    How to spend my cash in one easy lesson says:

    I have a ticket to the Tractor Stats Recital. Does that count?

  118. 118
    Mrs Beaton says:

    Isn’t a fool some sort of mousse or blancmange thingy? Ah well, if the cap fits I suppose….

  119. 119
    Rubba Gluvs says:

    Was that a typo for protective condom? Reusable as required..

  120. 120
    Rubba Gluvs says:

    Not to labour the point, but… quite so.

  121. 121
    Stephen Wonder says:

    I agree, Can’t see why anyone would want to do that.

  122. 122
    Lawsa Nass says:

    Lawdy lawdy – whoda thunk it?

  123. 123
    Sam Beaux says:

    In full colour or only in blick ‘n’ witey?

  124. 124
    Hang The Bastards says:

    chukka khan as self serving as ever.

  125. 125
    Tom says:

    “From the Caribbean”? What are you going on about?

  126. 126
    Chukka Uppa says:

    NEWS: Lambeth Country Show proposed for 15 and 16 September 2012

    We are delighted to inform you that following a review of alternative dates the intention is for the Lambeth Country Show to take place over the weekend of the 15 and 16 September in Brockwell Park.

    We are now consulting on the format and arrangements and will provide more details shortly.

    Attached is a copy of the event report for the show and we would welcome your feedback on the proposed new dates for this year. The decision will be made after the consultation on the 19th March.

    Please do email your comments to the events team at events@lambeth.gov.uk

    We look forward to working with you soon,

    Yours sincerely,

    Lee Fiorentino
    Events Service Manager

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