February 20th, 2012

Michael Woolf is a Busted Flush

Since last summer, self-proclaimed Murdoch expert and Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Woolf has been telling anyone that would listen that this was the end for his nemesis. For some reason he’s gone very quiet. Guido was gently teasing him over the weekend about his prediction that James Murdoch would have been forced out by the end of July 2011, but it was Friday’s performance on Sky News that has shattered his already tarnished reputation:

The media pundit’s money quote was:

“No I do not think we will see a Sun on Sunday, not now, not ever.”

Oops. Time to let it go Michael…


By the way, has anyone else notice he’s slowly morphing into his muse?


  1. 1
    Playtime says:

    Bring on the Sun on Sunday.

    The revenge of Murdoch

  2. 2
    daveyone1 says:

    Any relation to the ineffectual Lord Justice Woolf?

  3. 3
    Raving Loon says:

    It’s very difficult to make predictions, especially about the future.

  4. 4
    Pontius Pilate says:

    Why has Mr Woolf got in for Murdoch?

  5. 5
    Egg? Nog! says:

    In other news…

    …why aren’t the MSM picking up on the Alex Hilton thing? If it was a former Tory or LD PPC saying that sort of stuff about their leader, it’d be all over the Beeb/Guardian etc!

  6. 6
    sres says:

    the left upset about it? it must be working…

  7. 7
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    You have to a FIT and Proper Person to run a PAPER. How in Fu-ks name can Murdoch Run a paper when he is going to use the Journalists who have been arrested and under Police investigation for Bribery, Phone hacking etc etc?? Has this world gone Mad or is the STATE that desperate to fill the Public full of Sh-t.

  8. 8
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Woolf would make a brilliant mp-spout shit all day

  9. 9
    Thunderbox says:

    Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Woolf ?

    F.F.S. He repeated more UMs than either David Beckham and Wayne Rooney put together.

    I don’t know about a Red Top story. He is a Follicly Challenged shiny top.

  10. 10
    Show Business for ugly people says:

    “Time to let it go Michael…”

    he’s an ill informed idiot seemingly but he’s not the one working himself into a masturbatory frenzy over Rupert Murdoch relaunching the NoW; you’re Murdoch mouthpiece status always been evident but you’re in danger of parodying yourself now

    Guido Fawkes: Bob Crowe for rich people.

  11. 11
    Funny says:

    People are moaning about hacking and all that by NOTW, but are silent about the state doing the same.


  12. 12
    Desperate Dan says:

    Woolf is sympathetic to the interests of the bent businessmen who are incapable of starting up TV stations and newspapers themselves. Once someone with brains and intuition has made something successful they will use the vilest methods imaginable to get their hands on on it. Businesses started up by geniuses like Rupert Murdoch are a prime target.
    These evil sleazebags who’ve made a mess of football and pop music want to move on to make a mess of broadcasting and newspapers.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Desperate Dan says:

    According to the BBC Censorship and Propaganda Department, they’re not allowed to broadcast anything that reflects badly on Ed.

  15. 15
    Desperate Dan says:

    A fit and proper person like Tony Blair’s chum, the pornographer Richard Desmond.

  16. 16
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Oh I don’t know – look at Old Moore’s Almanac.

  17. 17

    These evil sleazebags who’ve made a mess of football and pop music want to move on to make a mess of broadcasting and newspapers.

    Interesting, I often feel that the buying and selling of people, like which happens, to football players, is a kin to slavery. Just they are better paid and looked after. Not sure that is a mess. Granted, it is all a con job, and the people buy it, but, they buy it. With newspapers the audience is a little smaller because they need to be educated enough to read, and that part of the population is getting smaller and smaller.

  18. 18

    He entered his room. the smell of the stale pizzas and the unwashed, unfinished baked beans drifted into his nostrils. Not a bad smell. not unpleasant. in fact. Comforting. Reassuring. Like a good sock.
    He didn’t know why his landlady complained. It was a pleasant odour. She didn’t have to come in here. He knew she never did. the hair across the door and the tiny piece of folded paper wedged in the hinge that he left every time he left informed him that she hadn’t been in. no one had been in.

    In fact no one apart from him had been in this room for a long time. A long, long time.
    he looked at the answerphone. The red blinding light remained unblinking.
    The big red Zero on the missed calls number seemed to mock him. Zero. Nil. Null. Naught. Nothing. Nul.
    He checked his beloved smart phone. No missed calls. not much of a surprise. No one to miss. No one to miss him.

    But Tat wasn’t too upset. This was a familiar routine.

    “I don’t need anyone.” He bravely told the empty, untidy room.
    It was just as well. he didn’t have anyone. Not a work colleague. Not a friend. Not even a neighbour. Not since he’d shouted at Mrs Cooper about playing her music so he could hear it. the silly, deaf old bag. He hated her. He hated her because she had once said ‘hello, you look happy’ too him.
    He’d come out of the bathroom having only gone in to wash his balls and she’d said ‘hello, you look happy’. What an old C#nt! Happy? Did she think he was having a double jerk! Well he wasn’t . Not that time anyway.

    Tat knew his paranoia was bad. Getting worse. Maybe they were drugging his food again? He’s have to check carefully. he only bought tins from the back of the supermarket shelf. that way they couldn’t know he was coming. Sometimes he took from the second from back shelf. That would fool them.

    What to do tonight. he could start on that blog he’d been thinking of writing. he knew it would be tremendous. And so funny and clever. just like him. But his enthusiasm dimmed as soon as he thought a bit harder.
    What could he say? “MRS COOPER IS AN OLD C#NT”. He’d already written that.
    Three times.

    Maybe a bit of trolling would help. He liked trolling. Liked being somebody else. It made him forget he was him. Forget he was Thick as Thieves. If only for a while. He really hated being called thick as thieves too. he’d stopped using that name ages ago. but those fuckers still called him Tat. Sometimes TwaT.

    Tonight I’ll fool them! he thought.
    or maybe he woudn’t bother. Maybe he’d just read one of his Vampire novels or play some World of Warcraft instead. Or maybe he’d look at youporn again.

    So many decisions. So many choices.
    Who needs friends when he had all this to choose from?

  19. 19

    Or the previous administration.

  20. 20
    cap locks OFF says:

    calm down dear, it’s not very important

  21. 21
    jgm2 says:

    Labour can’t even make predictions about the past. They’re still denying the UK economic clusterfuck had anything to do with 13 years of incompetent Labour government.

  22. 22
    Pundit Too says:

    Do you mean Dirty Des the same person who has Tourettes’ disease?

  23. 23
    Show Business for ugly people says:

    Rupert and Blairsatan were sucking each other off during his tenancy @ number 10, people on here squealing with delight at his ‘recovery’ and dreaming that Rupert’s agenda is in line with theirs are tripping.

  24. 24
    Show Business for ugly people says:


    too much time on your hands old boy; do you have a job?

  25. 25
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. And it was Murdoch who was cheering the Maximum Imbecile to the rafters even as the jackass was petrol-bombing the UK economy.

  26. 26

    The News of the World spent 168 years in print, I can’t see the Sunday Sun doing the same.

  27. 27
    cuntwatch says:

    Ten out of Ten (ToT). Ah, those were the days! “In New Zealand?” – d’you remember that? We had a laught back then, didn’t we!

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:

    The ‘Sunday Sun’ is just the NoW with a new masthead.

    And everybody knows it.

  29. 29
    jgm2 says:

    ‘In New Zealand’? Enlighten me. I could use a good laugh.

  30. 30
    annette curton says:

    Oh, yeah Michael Woolf, really?

  31. 31
    That's because he knows he'd be inundated with tweets calling him a cunt says:

  32. 32
    Desperate Dan says:

    Until Gordon Brown got into No 10 most, or possibly all, Football Clubs were British owned. They did not have foreign owners who used the clubs as collateral against gigantic bank loans thereby plunging the clubs into massive debts. They were not used as vehicles for easing the path of money laundering. Football clubs did not have foreign self-styled “super-agents” prowling around on the lookout for dodgy ‘deals’. They were about football, not greed and not property development.

  33. 33
    It doesn't bother you that Murdoch likes Brown? says:

    I don’t understand the admiration for Murdoch here. He supported Labour for 12 years and he said the politician he was closest to was Brown. He even told the commons committee that he and Brown shared the same values and he was sorry they’re not friends anymore and he hopes one day they can reestablish their friendship.

  34. 34
    evil says:

    I hope its his last

  35. 35
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Some US “expert” autobiographer was doing the rounds saying there will be no Sunday Sun. He got chucked off radio 5 the other day when he started making unfounded accusations (might help if he actually was actually close to the story in the UK and not basing his thoughts on what he hears in the US).

  36. 36
    It doesn't bother you that Murdoch likes Brown? says:

    Also, fat alcoholic mick Guido always rightly mocks anyone who likes or supports Brown and yet he constantly flies the flag for Murdoch but strangely ignores the fact the Dirty Digger was one of Brown’s biggest allies.

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t find Wolff’s tweet where he confidently proclaimed Rupert Murdoch’s twitter account as “fake, fake, fake”. Surely he wouldn’t have deleted it – can anyone else find it? Always so prescient and accurate in his assessments.

    He seems a bit like Rupert’s spurned would-be lover. He spent so much time with him while he was writing his book, he thought he was in the inner circle. He’s not the first to be so seduced by being close to Rupert, perhaps the first to have thrown quite such a massive and extended tantrum when it turned out that Rupert had only been flirting with him.

  38. 38
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Lord Black, Robert Maxwell – we’ve had some fabulous people a newspaper proprietors in this country.

  39. 39
    an engineer says:

    if I get it wrong the bus crashes or the power station explodes

    i can only imagine what it would be like to get paid for giving an opinion where there is no come back if it is wrong

  40. 40
    Gordon Brown says:

    i got it very wrong and am still a millionaire

    Hurrah for socialism

  41. 41
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    G’day bludgers! I’m launching Sun on Sunday for all the thick illiterate working class morons to enjoy and make me even richer. I can promise top quality hacking, first class lies, the finest showbiz bollocks, and world exclusive payments to coppers. Later, bludgers!

  42. 42
    that's entertainment says:

    Most of the left have got it in for Murdoch, which is why they were gutted by the Sun on Sunday announcement. I don’t particularly like Murdoch, but I’m rooting for him because of the way he gets the left foaming at the mouth following his decision to drop them at the last election. Fucking hilarious.

  43. 43
    annette curton says:

    Go Sarah twist his arm, get him signed up to twitter account, do that and I will promise get one as well, his tweets will be pure comedy gold.

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    fanny batter

  45. 45
    Baron Hogwash says:

    I don’t think people admire him but this hacking stuff is being cooked up to frenzy point by Labour. Twatson was on radio 5 last night for a few minutes. He was asked about allegations back in 2002 when the ICO failed to act on information regarding 300+ journalists from various newspapers possibly obtaining data illegally. And that people working at the ICO were warned not to stay away from the journalists. The excuses the current ICO chief gave on air were lame.

    In 2006, labour could have done something and they failed. When asked Twatson replied “Its not my department” – then what the hell is belly aching on about now for. How about telling us which other journalists/newspapers were involved rather than a witch hunt against one group.

    I do not like Sky much (only get the news channel on freeview), I won’t be able to watch F1 (or at least half the races) – so I am not a fan of the Murdoch empire but its business and Bernie wants to milk F1 for all he can get.

  46. 46
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Correction – “were warned not to stay “

  47. 47
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s my birthday today. Who’d like to see me in my birthday suit?

  48. 48
    Lines written by Scotland’s most famous poet William MacLostitall says:

    Twas in the summer of 2010
    That the wuld’s greatest genius – Sonny Jim –
    Or to his friends, – he had nae many! – Brhoon the Ruin
    Buggered off.

    His buddy Ruppy, – as they sa’ in tha’ Chink
    Said, – I’ll come in by the back door, – as ye want ya’ visit tae be!
    It’ll comfort ye fund’mnt!

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Right on Playtime. Twatson’s been very quiet of late,or is it the case that I have missed seeing his appearances on the idiot lantern?

  50. 50
    I've still got a cold and nothing better to do says:

    To whom it might concern: having recently purchased a pair of furry boots on line I now see ads for furry boots when I log on to Order Order. If that’s targeted marketing it’s not very bright…. do the advertisers think I’ve got four legs?

  51. 51
    Sarah Twat the Twitty Tweeter says:

    My Hero can tie me to the mast any day!

  52. 52
    super soaraway sun says:

    He’s played left against right for decades in the UK, and being an Aussie doesn’t give a shit for either wing of the British establishment. At the moment he’s the only real alternative we have to the pernicious BBC, so don’t knock him too hard.

  53. 53
    Commercial Advisor to the Nobility says:

    No dear – you just a pair for each day, and a change in the evening, – especillay if dogs piss on them.

  54. 54
    Steve Miliband says:

    Can the BBC please stop using that lying w*nker Alistair Campbell.

    If he was so ‘political’ and such a good ‘politician’ why the fuck didn’t he stand for Parliament?

    Just like the party he represents he’s gutless. He knew he would have been accountable to an electorate and even a donkey with a red rosette would find it hard to vote for him twice.

  55. 55
  56. 56
    A pissoir attendant at the BBC says:

    I had that Murdock in here the other day!

    Makes a change from the usual fairies we get in here.

  57. 57
    Desperate Dan says:

    For 12 years he supported the same party the population were supporting. After 12 years that party turned out to be a failure and fell out of favour so he stopped supporting it. That’s why he’s successful.
    The Guardian are still supporting the party that was in for 12 years and turned out to be a failure. That’s why they’re unsuccessful and losing readers and money hand over fist.
    The BBC are still supporting the party that was inm for 12 years and that’s why everyone hates them cos we have to pay for the BBC’s loyalty to fraud, dishonesty and failure.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Is that little Willy Haigh on the left?

  59. 59
    25 pounder with 10 ton Grand Slam as backup says:

    Me! – if it helps my aim.

  60. 60
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    A newsroom full of people with a grudge against Tom Watson and the Guardian. Could be interesting.

  61. 61
    Great British Public says:

    We can’t persuade him to visit Westminster but he’s still happy to take his Taxpayer-funded salary AND get paid to spout utter twaddle to people who enjoy his comic act.

  62. 62
    zip it says:

    Michael Woolf IS Dr Evil!

  63. 63
    Pederast - or should that be pedanticist? says:

    ten out of ten = toot, innit?

  64. 64
    Desperate Dan says:

    Rupert, I hope you’ll be doing an investigation into why Guardian readers think they’re intelligent against all evidence to the contrary.

  65. 65
    purpleline says:

    The Sun on Sunday first edition Page 3 has Mad Harriet flashing her tits now that would be the best opening gambit ever

  66. 66
    Desperate Dan says:

    Don’t say that. If they cut down on Alastair Campbell that’ll mean we’ll get more John Prescott.

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    You cannot blame Liebore for what happen in under Bushy in US, unless Dubya was taking advice for Broon

  68. 68
    Princess Po-face Polytwaddle, handwringing bleedinheart whining down at people from her ivory tower says:

    I am always right!

    I am never wrong!

    And I’m very much FOR Tom Watson and the Guardian

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Haha, they might have something to crow about if they actually made a profit too, dopey fuckers.

  70. 70
    Alyingstare Campbell says:

    Steve, need any dossiers ‘sexed up’ ?

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:


  72. 72
    The Paragnostic says:

    Don’t forget Viscount Rothermere and his support for Adolf…

  73. 73
    Tony B.Liar says:

    Fuck me yes. In New Zealand going on all night.
    Him and Concrete & Cat spamming the night away. “Where’s the blog”
    Back to moniker theft are you?
    I thought you’d have hung yourself by now.

  74. 74
    Gordon F Brown says:

    The Sunday Sun will declare its total support for my candidature for Leader of the Entire World…

  75. 75
    Mr Dromey aka Harman says:

    I don’t think so.

  76. 76
    Some Geezer wot knows Murdoch is a clown, but he's OUR clown (for now, anyway) says:

    Of course, Woolf could be taking his cue from the orchestrated attempt in the States by an outfit called Media Matters to discredit all things Murdoch in general and FOX News specifically, a campaign reported on by dailycaller.com in the last week; this scurrilous outfit is well-known for providing talking-points to Leftie media types and to politicians looking to smear Murdoch. (Does Tom Watson subscribe to their e-mail? He’s missing a bet if he doesn’t.) As to whether Woolf is turning into Murdoch: “He became what he beheld.”

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    m’Lady, revenge is a dish best served cold. IMO it is still warm;given further time it will become cold & I look forward to the outcome with eager anticpation.

  78. 78
    50 Calibre says:

    It won’t. There’s little to see…

  79. 79
    Jacqueline Dromey says:

    Shall I get mine out for the boys as well ?

  80. 80
    BBC Poducer says:

    We have Jacqui Smith on standby too.

    have you noticed how we always let Labour go first on the news? Ed Miliband says. or Labour has accused the government of ..

    Ali Campbell taught us that. Labour first. Tory second. Always.

  81. 81
    scrap the thieving BBC says:

    Rupert, at least with you we can choose whether to pay for your media bollocks or not.

  82. 82
    The Paragnostic says:

    Why mention the US?

    Did something start in America?

    Whatever happened in the US had nothing to do with Brown and Balls spending like junkies in a poppy field, or Brown deciding to save banks that shoud have been allowed to fail gracefully.

    Labour lost – get over it.

  83. 83
    Gordon F Brown says:

    If you want to be a leader, understand where the people are going and then get in front of them. Simples…

    I got that one a bit wrong because I listened to that arsehole Balls.

  84. 84

    Whatever Sarah, whatever…

  85. 85
    East India Company wallah says:

    I think you mistake Guidos disdain for the Guardian media group as support for Murdoch-it aint necessarily so
    are we to assume you are an anorexic,tee-total 20th generation native from hackney?

  86. 86

    The Woolf Who Cried ‘Big Bear’

    There was a Woolf tending the Vanity Fair who would continually go up to the Embankment and shout, ‘Help, there’s a big bear!’ The farmers would all come running only to find out that what the Woolf said was not true. Then one day there really was a big bear but when the Woolf shouted, they didn’t believe him and no one came to his aid. The whole Fair was eaten by the big bear.

    The story shows that this is how liars are rewarded: even if they tell the truth, no one believes them.

    From the Aesopica with emendments.

  87. 87
    Austin 'Danger' Powers says:

    Mr Woolf is actually Dr Evil!

  88. 88
    The Paragnostic says:

    Got my latest threatening letter from Crapita this morning – it’s been filed in the bin with the rest.

    Haven’t paid the license fee since 1997, and I’m buggered if I’m starting now.

  89. 89
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    This will just anger the BBC/Guardian/Liebore even more. Murdoch is missing the point, it’s the left he needs to go after especially the BBC c un t z

    How many of them are using the company scam to dodge PAYE taxes I wonder? How many of them are shoving Cocaine up their noses at the weekends I wonder?

    Time to target the BBC me thinks and out a few of them.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    And I suppose Cammers won a massive majority, he like Broon courted the the LibDems to be able to have a working majority, with all that deficit Cammers and the Cons could not get a viable majority it was handed on a plate with the deficit to Cammers, in your words, get over it!

  91. 91
    Desperate Dan says:

    Just because Gordon Brown was forever sucking up to Murdoch in the hope of getting a good press doesn’t mean Murdoch liked him.

  92. 92
    swagman says:

    Abbo, abbas, abbott ?

  93. 93
    Desperate Dan says:

    First and third. After the Tory has spoken they get a Labour opposition politician – that’s Labour, the party that was thrown out at the last election – to have the last word.
    And when the Tories get ahead in the Polls – OMG its anti-Tory propaganda on steroids from the BBC.

  94. 94
    Please clarify says:

    What’s a UM?

  95. 95
    To clarify says:

    It will be difficult to make a bigger mess of the BBC than already exists thereat.

  96. 96
    perrault says:

    Grimm reading.

    Can we have a Little Ed Writhing Hood story as well?

  97. 97
    To clarify says:

    You posted that over the weekend. Are you Johan in disguise?

  98. 98
    Pom barsteward says:

    Did you ever learn to distinguish between six and sex whilst there?

  99. 99
    Litle Miss Whatwasername? says:

    Those were the days my friend….

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    What about the tits?

  101. 101
    Coiled Spring says:

    All the chavs and thick as short plank types will be having a party on Sunday.

  102. 102
    Pick a Ninny says:

    Nope, opening page 3 will be pics of the 2 Eds with the caption ‘a right pair of tits’.

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Murdoch Murdoch Murdoch

    Fascinating though this may be, the important issue is when are all the fucking foreigners being sent home?

  104. 104
    Pick a Ninny says:

    Or The Three Pigs – Blair, Brown and [place your own choice here]

  105. 105
    Pick a Ninny says:

    Is he going to reopen the bid for the rest of Sky?

  106. 106
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I wonder if the front page of the Sun on Sunday will be a story on Tom Watson’s £100,000 expenses claim for a flat.
    Where is Tom Watson, he has gone as quiet as Miliband.

  107. 107
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Spot on. And Tom Watson’s £100,000 expenses claim for a flat. Oh wouldn’t it be great to see Watson go down.

  108. 108
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Oh Sarah yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  109. 109
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Sarah’s tweets are the best cure yet for insomnia zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  110. 110
    I don't need no doctor says:

    All Brown did for the country and people still hate him. Brown should be in prison!

  111. 111
    La La La says:

    He was on BBC’s radio 4 two days ago. He was debating with Kelvin Mackenzie and they had an interesting exchange.


    Transcript (copy and paste from the article):

    Kelvin Mackenzie: Tell me Mr Watson – how do you feel about somebody who, through their taxpayer funded expenses might have used their money to convert a taxpayer funded flat from a leasehold to a freehold that was exposed thanks to the whistleblowing of somebody – wholly illeagally, presumably, being paid £150,000 by The Daily Telegraph to nail people like you. How do you feel about that, Mr Watson? Answer that question.

    Tom Watson: That information would have been in the public domain, Kelvin, and you know that.

    Kelvin Mackenzie: How would they have worked it out without The Daily Telegraph paying the money? Whistleblowing is aimed at people like you, Mr Watson, don’t ever forget it.

    Tom Watson: Kelvin, don’t worry. Let me also defend tabloid journalism as well. Some of those good journalists on The Sun have been undermined by this process and in many senses they’re paying the price for the legacy that Kelvin Mackenzie left. You’ve…

    Kelvin Mackenzie: Oh shut up, shut up Watson. Go back to sleep.

  112. 112
    Desperate Dan says:

    Unless it the previous Thatcher administration.

  113. 113
    Desperate Dan says:

    They’ve already done it to the BBC. They now want to get their grubby little hands on Sky .

  114. 114
    Desperate Dan says:

    I hope it will be a pageful of the names of hackbores who’ve been served writs for slander and libel.

  115. 115
    Desperate Dan says:

    Because The Guardian has just announced it will be publishing The Guardian on Sunday.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    Pot kettle black springs to mind in your case. Upset are we?

  117. 117
    Gobbets Raw says:

    Don’t forget Test and First Class Cricket the cnut has bought and ruined

  118. 118
    Mary Hopkin says:


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