February 11th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up


237 Comments

  1. 1
    Winning says:

    Cracking week Guido.

    • 2
      the gay, spastic cricket nut says:

      1st!

    • 3

      I could not disagree with you less.

    • 11
      Up sh1t creek says:

      The topic the press dare not speak about, quantitative easing is DESTROYING the UK economy, and savers are being raided until the economy totally collapses because their money is used not on keeping an economy ticking over, but bailing out feckless and often fraudulent borrowers….. including the government.

      Quantitative easing has never worked, not in Japan, Argentina, Brazil, Germany, USA, UK. NOWHERE! Keynesian garbage economics.

      • 43
        Archer Karcher says:

        We seem to have swapped one bunch of feckless socialists, for another. The personalities have changed, the ruinous policies have not.

      • 44
        Up poo(sick) creek with you says:

        Just like the f*cking g*vern.ment and all in it, it’s predecessors and hanger’s on, the ‘B.O.E.’ it’s FALSE! Funny money. Crap and every other word to describe dross.

      • 58
        Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

        What’s wrong with you lot ?? I abolished Boom and Bust in 1997.

        I also plundered people’s pensions for years. I’m just amazed that anyone had anything left in their pension pot to complain about.

        • 68
          Archer Karcher says:

          Even you at your maddest and very worst, did not spend as much as Dave and Gideon Fabian are. Is there any ponzi scheme that is beyond the pale for these useless errand boy fcukers?

          • Pawn Sandwich says:

            Then why is RedEd saying that they are cutting too far and too fast?

          • c.eng says:

            If the BoE would double up printing speed they could wipe out the National Debt. They’re almost there, £325 Bn printed to date, £575 Bn debt to go.

            Truly Central Bankers are the Evil in the system.

            They would be shot, if the Peeps weren’t so thick.

        • 86
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          We didn’t have anything left in our pot – you th*eving bas*ard!

      • 147
        Samuel Brittan... says:

        .
        .
        Did QE work after WWII? Could it be smaller and targetted?

      • 158
        grobdj says:

        Totally agree

        The other lie this week is that project Merlin is working. How can the BBA claim that lending to SMEs is only £1bn off target, yet net lending is down by much more than this.

        Meanwhile bank deposits (our accounts in credit with the banks) are up at least a billion a month, despite f*** all interest being paid out.

        No doubt this is why the bankers see nothing wrong in dipping their hands in our till once again

        • 190
          Unaligned voter says:

          Fat tit Pickles is the usual tosser. No one is banning prayrs for God Botherers, just not putting it on the agenda. Talk about jumping on band wagons!

  2. 4

    Huhne – anyone remember him?

  3. 5
    DA says:
  4. 7
    Potty Pain says:

    A strong and assured week for team Ed.

  5. 13

    Guido.

    Leveson did not even remember that he had placed a restriction order on you which banned you from commenting on the evidence. That appeared from his comments to be no longer applicable. There must be more that you could say now but which you would have preferred to say at the time.

    Is that the case?

  6. 20
    Dennis McShame's Twitter feed says:

    Tweet tweet ** Gordon Brown never lost an election **
    Tweet Tweet ** Ed Miliband never went to a posh school. He went to COMPREHENSIVE NUMBER 9- PEOPLE’S SCHOOL, BRENT **
    Tweet Tweet ** Lansley has advanced plans to sell the NHS to Wallmart ** Tweet Tweet —

  7. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    On tv last night was a programme about the Royal Navy (HMS Manchester) patrolling the caribbean looking for drug smugglers. HMS Manchester is around 30 years old. The following is a list of what happened during the programme.
    1) Manchester received a tip off of a ship thought to be smuggling drugs. An helicopter was launched to locate the ship which it duly located.
    2) Manchester caught up with the ship, following it while permission was sought to board.
    3) Manchester was refuelled by a navy supply ship.
    4) The suspect ship was let go.
    5) One of Manchester’s engine packed so had to dock where a reconditioned engine was flown out and replaced.
    6) Manchetser went back to sea where the food refrigeration packed up, resulting in £20,000 worth of food being thrown into the sea.
    7) Manchester was refuelled again.
    Nothing was achieved, and the cost for achieving nothing must have been at least £500,000.
    Now you know where your taxes go. Real value for money!

    • 40
      Nelson says:

      So ..it would be a better use of resources to have the ships waiting in port, the crews fed from the dockyards, practicing their skills on video games until war breaks out?

      That would be cheap.

      or why not scrap the lot. That would be a great saving. we don’t even neede those ships anymore, do we? Argentina aren’t a threat to anyone are they?

      You utter Mong!

      • 53
        even better idea says:

        hire the ships from the argies! prob solved!

        • 56
          Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

          ^^^^^
          Taking the idea one stage further:

          Hire the ships from the Argies and then torpedo them

      • 55
        I don't need no doctor says:

        There is no need to use nasty words.
        I was pointing out the poor use of money in keeping old ships afloat.
        So fuck off you one eyed Hunt.

        • 61

          It’s a lot more economical and a better use of resources to use ships at the end of their useful lives as the West Indies guardship. We in the UK may consider them to be old and past it but more often than not they get bought up by foreign Navies and go on to serve for a smilar amount of years under a different flag.

      • 231
        Lateral Blue sky thinking outside the box says:

        Taking this further up the flagpole we could keep all the Naval fleet in Docks and redeploy all personell in doing useful work around the country, picking up litter, filling in potholes etc thus killing two birds with one stone

    • 57

      1) Changing engine modules is a whole lot quicker and cheaper than taking engines apart and fixing them in situ.
      2) The victualling allowance per day per crew member on an RN warship would not even buy a subsidised pot of tea for an MP
      3) How do you know nothing was achieved? The drugs could have wound up at the bottom of the Caribbean
      4) The west Indies guard ship deployment is not just about drug running, hurricane and disaster relief being two other important duties as is policing the area.
      5) It’s also a bloody good piss up.

      • 63
        I don't need no doctor says:

        5) Hit the nail on the head.
        I am not trying to draw comparisons. I can only comment on what I saw, and what I saw was a big waste of tax payers money.

        • 75
          Andrew says:

          It is a strange fact of life that government ministers find pressing needs to visit warships on West Indies deployments but have no reason to visit them in home waters.

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            Unless the MP in question is riding in a speedboat, named Mike Handycock, and a publicity-hungry fuckwit.

      • 66

        Of all the cocked up bollocks we do spend money on, serving RN ships has to be one of the best uses. A lot more useful than a sure start! that any mother’s group can set up on their own and run for free. As many women already do. They’re called Rugrats or starbabies or little bears and every hamlet in the land already has one.

        Before ‘active leaning and skills for future development within an umbrella-diversity community, within a socially interactive focus outreach’ directors on £35k a morning, there were coffee mornings.

        Back to the RN.
        If we already have stocks of a reconditioned, might as well use them up.
        A 30 year ship is only just at the end of our service life for them. Probably getting ready for the auctioneer.

        however, in favour of No Doctor,

        all those lamenting the end of the 1969, yes 70 year old, jump jets, should remember that only a fraction of them could ever fly at any time. And not for very long. The young boy apprentices who originally checked the bolts on the Pegasus engine are all dead. That’s how old they are. Too bloody old. they were ancient in 1982. only the improved sidewinder missile {thanks for those Ronnie!} let them manage to combat the Argy at all. We might as well defend the Falklands with Hurricanes.

        • 74
          the shirt lifting securispaz on tablets says:

          :)

        • 77
          Archer Karcher says:

          Oddly when we took them out of service, the American Navy bought the lot. The American top brass, love them.

          • I don't need no doctor says:

            Yes well the Americans throw money at everything thinking it to be the answer. The UK Harriers were bought for spares not as air worthy aircraft.
            It’s surprising how backward the USA is in many respects.

          • Even more surprising is they thought it would be better to keep the Harriers and retire the oldest of the F/18s that only came into service in the mid 80s.

            Personally I would have just done a straight swap. Our old Harriers for their old F/18s.

            At least we can still get spares for the F/18.

    • 97
      a stiff upper lip never got anyone anywhere says:

      What a fucking waste of time and money.

    • 117
      annette curton says:

      When Labour removed the death penalty for treason from the statute books they also did similar for piracy on the high seas. This is how the Russians deal with them without the benefit of EU ‘uman rights.

    • 121
      annette curton says:

      Try again. Russian navy.

    • 156
      The CommonSoCalledWealth of the Carribean.. says:

      .
      .
      What are we doing in the Caribbean… What has it got to do with us.

      • 157
        The CommonSoCalledWealth of the Caribbean.. says:

        .
        .

      • 169
        annette curton says:

        • 186
          Poster girl says:

          How odd! I tried posting this filmlet a month or two ago in connection with a different subject and it was modded out of existence. Must have been something to do with the liquid under discussion.

      • 175
        Brit Islands says:

        Cayman Islands
        Turks and Caicos
        British Virgin Islands
        Anguilla
        Montserrat

        The above are British territory full stop.

        Then there are the Islands in the British Commonwealth.

        Then there are
        British West Indies/Anglophone Caribbean – Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Barbados, Bay Islands, Belize, British Virgin Islands, Cayman Islands, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, Montserrat, Saint Croix (briefly), Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago (from 1797) and the Turks and Caicos Islands

  8. 50
    albacore says:

    “Tittle Tattle, gossip and rumours”
    That’s the stuff for Guido’s consumers
    There’s a trial afoot must fit that bill
    ‘Cos the media won’t touch it, still
    Now, if Fawkes let that cat out of the sack
    Would they bring drawing and quartering back?

  9. 59
    Charmless Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Another part of the legacy from Liebour’s Damnosa Hereditas. http://bit.ly/wDO20m

  10. 65
    MB. says:

    Row brewing in Argyll & Council about the council spying on the Internet. The Glasgow Herald have had several reports on this with this latest one today.

    Saturday 11 February 2012
    Council chief in online spy accounts row is suspended
    A COUNCIL media chief at the centre of a row over using “spy accounts” on social media websites to monitor critics of the local authority has been suspended and an investigation launched into her activities.
    http://goo.gl/a5zVD

    Friday 10 February 2012
    Council chief goes online to spy on critics
    A COUNCIL media chief has admitted setting up “spy” accounts on social media sites such as Facebook to gather information on groups and
    individuals regarded as critical of the authority.
    http://goo.gl/fxklr

    The ForArgyll blog has loads of reports on it
    http://forargyll.com/

  11. 73

    To Whom It May Concern:

    Some of the comments made in this thread are not mine, despite carrying my moniker.

    That includes this one.

  12. 76
    Lard Pressclot says:

    All of you know I’m a portly old Trougher,
    Now I’m applying to be Hull’s top copper.
    I’ll want a high salary, an expense account too,
    Plus a cuppla Jags and a secretary to screw.
    I can start any time, I’m not doing a real job.
    Can’t wait to be selected ‘n’ get Tracy on my….

    • 120
      £5 Million BBC pilgrim with gold-plated pension says:

      Come and join us at the BBC, we’ve got a mountain of cash that even a rampant trougher like you couldn’t get through.

  13. 90

    I know I heard it. Yet its gone from the internet.
    Like his lifelong attacks against the House of Lords that are hard to track down, now, Lord Johnny Prescott’s opposition to elected police commissioners also seems to have gone missing. Maybe it was on newsnight.

    Does the internet have a ‘remove all my hypocrisy button’ somewhere?

    • 109
      Stinkfinger says:

      Humberside Police are already so broke they have to use Proton cars as Police vehicles.
      Having to outfit that fat twat in an Idi Amin style commissioners uniform would sink the force.

    • 110
      annette curton says:

      There was a secret agreement set up just before Tony left office with all the main internet service providers covering all past Labour utterances , it’s called the virtual shred.

      • 127
        The Revd. Phoney B£iar, NBG, GIT, with quivering lips and stupid grin says:

        You mean things like my River of Fire and The Tent and the Thrid Way?

  14. 91
  15. 92
    cunts the lot of them says:

    Any news on those vibrant and multicultural arseholes on trial up north yet?

  16. 96
    Lagabad Adahel says:

    how many did the Heidi post get before it was removedk?

  17. 99
    yummy says:

    I fancy a Chinese.

  18. 111
    Gordon Brown says:

    I want to be head of this website.

  19. 118
    Le Monde correspondent says:

    http://www.thelawyer.com/rpc-wins-rothschild-libel-case-for-daily-mail/1011333.article

    Improper behaviour again by Nat Rothschild and Madoff Mandelson

    Dixit Justice Tugendhat in High Court this week

    • 119
      Jack says:

      Mandelson behaves improperly all the time

      Resigns comes back thru’ influence peddling

      and then starts all over again

      How did he find €8 million after years in Government ?

      • 125
        The ansr says:

        The ansr is in your question brother Jack: anyone that close to Bliar in a LieBore Govt gets stinking rich one way or another, – oh and Cherry too.

      • 126
        J Clouseau says:

        ‘e saved it out of thee ‘ouse-keeping, naturellement.

      • 129
        Russian Oligarch and his bent City solicitors says:

        It is simple really

        We give Mandy a few grand every time we see him

        He loves money like other people love their wives (my he does not have one of course)

        We have bought the government in Russia (Russia was recently described by The Economist of London as a “kleptocracy”) and now we are making ourselves at home in your country which is a toddlme compared with what we had to beofre to get instantly very rich…

        Just look at your political class to see how corrupt it is…

      • 192
        Le Monde correspondent says:

        When will he be arrested for corruption ?

    • 137
      Lord Justice Turkeyforahat says:

      Bloody hell, I am amazed sometimes at my brave heart, which goes in no small measure to make up for my occasional stupidity.

  20. 122
    nellnewman says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/bbc-to-issue-global-apology-for-documentaries-that-broke-rules-6719997.html

    the beeb finally admits it puts out biased programmes. will it now also admit its reporting of global warming and the eu is just as biased ?

    • 128
      annette curton says:

      We need a full public enquiry to get to the bottom of this scandal, any takers?, no, thought not, perhaps just a passing reference to it on Newsnight or Question Time, oh well, those that control the news make the news in their image.

  21. 124
    Nigel Doughty's Ghost says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2099734/Luis-Suarez-KKK-mask-Manchester-United-fanzine-seized-police.html

    lol.

    Someone get photo’d near Andy Burnham with that on and you’d win the internet.

  22. 130
    Brown's shitst@ins says:

    The BBC tax-licence fee payers is being used to participate in Europe@n Economics. The l-f payers owe the EIB £30m which must be repaid in full in May. Do the l- fee payers have a say in this? No they don’t. The BBC is a disgrace.

    • 131
      The BBC says:

      We certainly are not!! We are here to serve our Leader, and we await His return to lead us to Glory!

      Hail Brown!

      Hail the Great Economic Miracle Worker!!

      Hail the Friend of Democratic Nations – N Chorea and Mug Abeland!

      • 134
        Dulce Bellum Inexpertis says:

        There ought to be an order put before parliament stripping the BBC of the term British from its title… under the “Trades Description Act”

  23. 133
    TittieTabloid Master says:

    The good thing about being Rupert Murdcoch is not caring that 99.9% of the world excluding his wife, think the wizened old prune is a nasty corrupt old git, but then she’s in it for the money and the future!

  24. 141
    Double speak! says:

    Flash point: Suarez angers Suarez by refusing to shake the Frenchman’s hand

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2099734/Luis-Suarez-KKK-mask-Manchester-United-fanzine-seized-police.html#ixzz1m6DGhHO3

  25. 144
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mummy Mummy can you please scrape my bottom

    • 149
      Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon, trougher, europhile and closet socialist says:

      I’m on bottom scraping duties today. I’m taking a rest from scraping the bottom of the barrel with my policies.

    • 151
      Diane Abbott says:

      I get mine blacked once a year by Chatham Marine Services.

      • 153
        Chatham Marine Services says:

        That’s why we keep the submarine pen operational.

        The lads get a special payment for filthy and hazardous work.

        We’re always glad when it’s over.

  26. 152
    A pretentious prick picked by a pretentious pompous pratt says:

    The name is Bollocks . . . . Neo Endogenous Bollocks, and I’m full of seed of Noo Progressive Ideas

    • 160
      Diane Abbott says:

      “………. if you want to impress in the bedroom ‘ pretentious prick picked by a pretentious pompous pratt’ you should skip your coffee fix and opt for a less pungent energy boost. Coffee is one of the things that make your semen taste bad. Other things to avoid are: garlic, onions and red meat. “

  27. 155
  28. 174
    George "spank me now" Osborne says:

    Fuck marriage!

  29. 188
  30. 189
  31. 193
    Grocer Heath says:

    Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah EUSSSR wah wonderful!

  32. 195
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Whitney Houston Dead at 48

  33. 198
    Carry On Dave says:

    “Cameron ‘plans football racism summit’ ”

    With luck, at the top of Everest

    • 200
      Ted Moult says:

      I can see right through Cameron’s plans.

    • 204
      Ah! Monika says:

      Probably headed by Fatbot,Vazline, and Warsi.

    • 212
      albacore says:

      Cast Iron Dave, relevant as ever
      If only you and I were as clever
      But he sees only what he wants to see
      And he keeps all the rest from you and me
      Racism’s being tried in Liverpool
      Wrong colour, though, for a premier fool

    • 219
      Liverpool D Notice says:

      The British establishment – getting their priorities right as usual. What’s a bunch of raped white working class kids compared to the hurt widdle feelings of ethnic millionaire footballers?

  34. 199
    Gordon Brown says:

    Just last week I wished Whitney Houston well.

  35. 201
    Michael Jackson says:

    I too was addicted to crack.

    Boys ass cracks that is.

  36. 202
    Ah! Monika says:

    It’s the cuts i tell ya.

    Only 20, yes 20, coppers to arrest one, yes one, Sun reporter.

  37. 203
    Jo Moore says:

    Another good day to bury bad news.

  38. 207
    Crack is whack says:

  39. 208
    Bob Crowe says:
  40. 209
    Pig Pickles says:

    Has Eric Pickles ever heard of portion control? Alternatively, just limit himself to seconds rather twenty-thirds.

  41. 229
    Dave's Racism Summit Communiqué says:

    In future, the government will be publishing an annual order laying out which words are acceptable for use in describing different ethicities, racial groups, tribes, clans, religions and creeds, which it will be the duty of all white citizens to learn.

    We will also publish a full list of words not suitable for describing white people, but in the interests of community cohesion, lists of unsuitable words for others will not be published.

    New police taskforces will be set up to examine all white citizens in their knowledge and the use of the approved terminology. Suitable punishments and opportunities for re-education will be provided to assist white citizens to correct-think.

    Finally we intened to re-inforce this policy by providing regular training sessions for white people to assist them in accommodating and adapting to the culture, history, desires and aspirations of others at all times in every way possible.

  42. 230
    not to be cruel or anything says:

    Looking at these mature dating sites, it’s dawned on me why the older man is attracted to younger women.

  43. 232
    Whitney Houston says:

    I’m I number 1 yet ?


Seen Elsewhere

Guido’s Column | Sun
NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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