February 11th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

Last week some 99,468 visitors made 306,358 visits to view 498,442 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…


237 Comments

  1. 1
    Winning says:

    Cracking week Guido.

  2. 2
    the gay, spastic cricket nut says:

    1st!

  3. 3

    I could not disagree with you less.

  4. 4

    Huhne – anyone remember him?

  5. 5
    DA says:

  6. 6
    Hacked off says:

    And would he be studying law now if he had been to one of your Hackney state schools?

  7. 7
    Potty Pain says:

    A strong and assured week for team Ed.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Sent out there to get a thorough grounding in racism and anti British rhetoric no doubt.

  10. 10
    Yo Da says:

    To Huhne, refer, do you ?

  11. 11
    Up sh1t creek says:

    The topic the press dare not speak about, quantitative easing is DESTROYING the UK economy, and savers are being raided until the economy totally collapses because their money is used not on keeping an economy ticking over, but bailing out feckless and often fraudulent borrowers….. including the government.

    Quantitative easing has never worked, not in Japan, Argentina, Brazil, Germany, USA, UK. NOWHERE! Keynesian garbage economics.

  12. 12
    perhaps the ad is aimed at five year olds? says:

    “If you’ve had blood in your poo or looser poo for the last 3 weeks, tell your doctor.”

    Er…..I thought the medical term was stools or motions?

  13. 13

    Guido.

    Leveson did not even remember that he had placed a restriction order on you which banned you from commenting on the evidence. That appeared from his comments to be no longer applicable. There must be more that you could say now but which you would have preferred to say at the time.

    Is that the case?

  14. 14

    Can’t remember my moniker?

  15. 15
  16. 16
    Brass Monkey says:

    Wasn’t he the chap who was responsible for costing me a shed load of money at the moment cos it’s f*****g freezing here.

  17. 17

    You have been modded because you used the pe-a word in appe-ared

  18. 18
    if t'cap fits says:

    Answer the question, fuck face.

  19. 19
    £5 Million BBC pilgrim with gold-plated pension says:

    We’re awash with cash here at the BBC.

  20. 20
    Dennis McShame's Twitter feed says:

    Tweet tweet ** Gordon Brown never lost an election **
    Tweet Tweet ** Ed Miliband never went to a posh school. He went to COMPREHENSIVE NUMBER 9- PEOPLE’S SCHOOL, BRENT **
    Tweet Tweet ** Lansley has advanced plans to sell the NHS to Wallmart ** Tweet Tweet —

  21. 21

    Yes. ‘Fraid I am not as stupid as you think. I want it seen so put the little green vegetable in.

  22. 22
  23. 23
  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    They’re riddled with loose poo, the fucking shit stabbers.

  25. 25

    Excuse me, caller.

    Could you hold the line for a moment. I will try not to be too long.

  26. 26
    I don't need no doctor says:

    How fucking stupid is the moderation on this site. Well it app e a rs so.

  27. 27

    For whuhne the bell-end tolls.

  28. 28

    You are not supposed to be able to see this.

    *Unless I have just learned sthg* :-P

  29. 29
    mange tout says:

    That appe-als to me.

  30. 30
    Yo Da says:

    Winding up, just, you, he was.

  31. 31
    premuim rate says:

    What are you wearing?

  32. 32
  33. 33

    Huhne’s mother Ann Murray was the voice of the speaking clock.

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    On tv last night was a programme about the Royal Navy (HMS Manchester) patrolling the caribbean looking for drug smugglers. HMS Manchester is around 30 years old. The following is a list of what happened during the programme.
    1) Manchester received a tip off of a ship thought to be smuggling drugs. An helicopter was launched to locate the ship which it duly located.
    2) Manchester caught up with the ship, following it while permission was sought to board.
    3) Manchester was refuelled by a navy supply ship.
    4) The suspect ship was let go.
    5) One of Manchester’s engine packed so had to dock where a reconditioned engine was flown out and replaced.
    6) Manchetser went back to sea where the food refrigeration packed up, resulting in £20,000 worth of food being thrown into the sea.
    7) Manchester was refuelled again.
    Nothing was achieved, and the cost for achieving nothing must have been at least £500,000.
    Now you know where your taxes go. Real value for money!

  35. 35

    Aaaaaagh done it again. spe-aking contains the pe-a word. The Diane Abbott protection Mod strikes again.

  36. 36
    Moscow Mike Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

    I bet you can remember me. I have my own Wikipedia page. There are a few inconsistencies under the heading ‘Early Life.’ I left school at 15 with no qualifications, and still have none, and I was never an ‘Engineer’ but a ‘Fitter and Turner.’ Boaz.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Hancock_%28UK_politician%29

  37. 37
    the cock and pull says:

    Correcting this will cut into Guido’s pub time, so no chance this ever will be sorted out, believe me.

  38. 38
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Here is one of my better photographs. Is it any wonder at all the young girls go for me?

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/mp-who-employed-russian-spy-mike-hancock-sparked-security-fears/story-e6frg6so-1225966955621

  39. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    My green gilberts make up three of my five a day.

  40. 40
    Nelson says:

    So ..it would be a better use of resources to have the ships waiting in port, the crews fed from the dockyards, practicing their skills on video games until war breaks out?

    That would be cheap.

    or why not scrap the lot. That would be a great saving. we don’t even neede those ships anymore, do we? Argentina aren’t a threat to anyone are they?

    You utter Mong!

  41. 41

    Excuse me but I will be my own sockpuppet, thank you. There is not room for five of us.

  42. 42
    A lying cheating two-faced f*ckwit, snot-nosed bully says:

    Ah’ve jest dun ma’ jobby’ fae’ tha’ mornin’

  43. 43
    Archer Karcher says:

    We seem to have swapped one bunch of feckless socialists, for another. The personalities have changed, the ruinous policies have not.

  44. 44
    Up poo(sick) creek with you says:

    Just like the f*cking g*vern.ment and all in it, it’s predecessors and hanger’s on, the ‘B.O.E.’ it’s FALSE! Funny money. Crap and every other word to describe dross.

  45. 45
    Sarah Twat, the Twitty Tweeter says:

    Bless!

  46. 46
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    What Fatbot’s son is REALLY learning in Ghana:-

    Good day to you, I am so sorry for sending you this unsolicited and unexpected mail.
    As i was searching for a credible and capable person in the UK who can assist me in the investment of my inheritance. I came in contact with your email address contact from a UK internet Business web directory so I decided to contact and write you directly for the sake of business investment.
    [snip]
    You all know the rest..

  47. 47
    A lying cheating two-faced f*ckwit, snot-nosed bully says:

    Gi’ me ma’ potty back ye scrunach!

  48. 48
    Gordon Brown - finances R us says:

    I’m interested!

  49. 49
    Very Wealthy Windfarm Gentry says:

    Look it’s time to stop carping and get with the new technological miracle, wind power.
    With wind power only contributing 0.1% of our energy over this cold period, it underlines the desperate need for many, many thousands more wind turbines if we are to meet our international committments.

    So what if it is vastly more expensive and vastly less efficient or completely unreliable, than any energy technology know to humankind.
    It is the future and purely incidentally, will make me very, very rich.

  50. 50
    albacore says:

    “Tittle Tattle, gossip and rumours”
    That’s the stuff for Guido’s consumers
    There’s a trial afoot must fit that bill
    ‘Cos the media won’t touch it, still
    Now, if Fawkes let that cat out of the sack
    Would they bring drawing and quartering back?

  51. 51
    Jus tryin to be helpful says:

    Alternatives in extremis = Hoppin’ John, Skippin’ Jenny, Hoppin’ Juan, Oryza and Pisum

  52. 52
    A used car salesman now turned wind farm spiv says:

    Pssst! Oi! guv! – GOT JUST WHAT YOU WANT WHEN THERE’S NO WIND – nice little motor to turn yer blades – just plug it inter the mains and off she goes, – cheap to you – coupla grand should see me right, ten grand the lot – ignore anything yer read about trains not running coz they lost their motors though.

  53. 53
    even better idea says:

    hire the ships from the argies! prob solved!

  54. 54
    £5 Million BBC pilgrim with gold-plated pension says:

    So are we at the BBC, we’re awash with cash at the moment thanks to mug licence payers.

  55. 55
    I don't need no doctor says:

    There is no need to use nasty words.
    I was pointing out the poor use of money in keeping old ships afloat.
    So fuck off you one eyed Hunt.

  56. 56
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    ^^^^^
    Taking the idea one stage further:

    Hire the ships from the Argies and then torpedo them

  57. 57

    1) Changing engine modules is a whole lot quicker and cheaper than taking engines apart and fixing them in situ.
    2) The victualling allowance per day per crew member on an RN warship would not even buy a subsidised pot of tea for an MP
    3) How do you know nothing was achieved? The drugs could have wound up at the bottom of the Caribbean
    4) The west Indies guard ship deployment is not just about drug running, hurricane and disaster relief being two other important duties as is policing the area.
    5) It’s also a bloody good piss up.

  58. 58
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    What’s wrong with you lot ?? I abolished Boom and Bust in 1997.

    I also plundered people’s pensions for years. I’m just amazed that anyone had anything left in their pension pot to complain about.

  59. 59
    Charmless Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Another part of the legacy from Liebour’s Damnosa Hereditas. http://bit.ly/wDO20m

  60. 60
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Mr Brown,
    Thank you for your reply.
    The modalities have been calculated and there will be nothing to fear.
    Please send £4500 to Solomon Mbeh by Western Union and the consignment will be sent by diplomatic to your step-door.

  61. 61

    It’s a lot more economical and a better use of resources to use ships at the end of their useful lives as the West Indies guardship. We in the UK may consider them to be old and past it but more often than not they get bought up by foreign Navies and go on to serve for a smilar amount of years under a different flag.

  62. 62
    The Paragnostic says:

    Half a law, half a law,
    Law applied uneven
    All in the Liverpool Court
    Hid forty seven.
    “Forward, the Beige Brigade!
    “Guilty as charged”, he said
    In the bowels of the Liverpool Court
    Hid forty seven.

  63. 63
    I don't need no doctor says:

    5) Hit the nail on the head.
    I am not trying to draw comparisons. I can only comment on what I saw, and what I saw was a big waste of tax payers money.

  64. 64
    Oscar Driver says:

    Rice appears to be banned here; is it cos I’s black ?

  65. 65
    MB. says:

    Row brewing in Argyll & Council about the council spying on the Internet. The Glasgow Herald have had several reports on this with this latest one today.

    Saturday 11 February 2012
    Council chief in online spy accounts row is suspended
    A COUNCIL media chief at the centre of a row over using “spy accounts” on social media websites to monitor critics of the local authority has been suspended and an investigation launched into her activities.

    http://goo.gl/a5zVD

    Friday 10 February 2012
    Council chief goes online to spy on critics
    A COUNCIL media chief has admitted setting up “spy” accounts on social media sites such as Facebook to gather information on groups and
    individuals regarded as critical of the authority.

    http://goo.gl/fxklr

    The ForArgyll blog has loads of reports on it

    http://forargyll.com/

  66. 66

    Of all the cocked up bollocks we do spend money on, serving RN ships has to be one of the best uses. A lot more useful than a sure start! that any mother’s group can set up on their own and run for free. As many women already do. They’re called Rugrats or starbabies or little bears and every hamlet in the land already has one.

    Before ‘active leaning and skills for future development within an umbrella-diversity community, within a socially interactive focus outreach’ directors on £35k a morning, there were coffee mornings.

    Back to the RN.
    If we already have stocks of a reconditioned, might as well use them up.
    A 30 year ship is only just at the end of our service life for them. Probably getting ready for the auctioneer.

    however, in favour of No Doctor,

    all those lamenting the end of the 1969, yes 70 year old, jump jets, should remember that only a fraction of them could ever fly at any time. And not for very long. The young boy apprentices who originally checked the bolts on the Pegasus engine are all dead. That’s how old they are. Too bloody old. they were ancient in 1982. only the improved sidewinder missile {thanks for those Ronnie!} let them manage to combat the Argy at all. We might as well defend the Falklands with Hurricanes.

  67. 67
    Ken says:

    This place is riddled with joo poofs like CRMM. Long live the Hitlerite Islamists!

  68. 68
    Archer Karcher says:

    Even you at your maddest and very worst, did not spend as much as Dave and Gideon Fabian are. Is there any ponzi scheme that is beyond the pale for these useless errand boy fcukers?

  69. 69
    £5 Million BBC pilgrim with gold-plated pension says:

    Does D1ane Abb0ts arse need 2 airplane seats or 3?

  70. 70
    Chris Hoon says:

    FibDems are above the law.

  71. 71
    Dick the Butcher says:

    How many more fucking lawyers does the world need?

  72. 72
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Alternatively, simply write to Andrew Mitchell, MP, at DFID and we will send you millions of Taxpayers’ money.

  73. 73

    To Whom It May Concern:

    Some of the comments made in this thread are not mine, despite carrying my moniker.

    That includes this one.

  74. 74
    the shirt lifting securispaz on tablets says:

    :)

  75. 75
    Andrew says:

    It is a strange fact of life that government ministers find pressing needs to visit warships on West Indies deployments but have no reason to visit them in home waters.

  76. 76
    Lard Pressclot says:

    All of you know I’m a portly old Trougher,
    Now I’m applying to be Hull’s top copper.
    I’ll want a high salary, an expense account too,
    Plus a cuppla Jags and a secretary to screw.
    I can start any time, I’m not doing a real job.
    Can’t wait to be selected ‘n’ get Tracy on my….

  77. 77
    Archer Karcher says:

    Oddly when we took them out of service, the American Navy bought the lot. The American top brass, love them.

  78. 78

    Who prophets from this cover-up?

  79. 79
    Cole Price says:

    I have rice and pea stains on my epaulettes. It’s driving me to drink.

  80. 80
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Then why is RedEd saying that they are cutting too far and too fast?

  81. 81
    Screwed taxpayer. says:

    Luverly job. Perpetual motion machine or summint. Put energy in an get feck all out as designed by MoD consultants. Paid for by sheeple

  82. 82
    The unfortunate aeroplane says:

    oh gawd, – not her again! then there’s all the shit to follow da r. i. c. e. an da p. e. a. z.

  83. 83
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Yes well the Americans throw money at everything thinking it to be the answer. The UK Harriers were bought for spares not as air worthy aircraft.
    It’s surprising how backward the USA is in many respects.

  84. 84
    Katya says:

    The photo is magnificent Dollink. You are still my Teddy Bear and King Louie. Yuk, The things one has to do for love of the Motherland. I am off to throw up.

  85. 85

    Even more surprising is they thought it would be better to keep the Harriers and retire the oldest of the F/18s that only came into service in the mid 80s.

    Personally I would have just done a straight swap. Our old Harriers for their old F/18s.

    At least we can still get spares for the F/18.

  86. 86
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    We didn’t have anything left in our pot – you th*eving bas*ard!

  87. 87
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    ‘Nuff said, I think.

  88. 88

    Why would anyone be concerned?

  89. 89
    Sungei Patani says:

    This is because the BBC talks down to its viewers since the average BBC employee thinks they are much superior intellectuality to the license payers who provide their income.

    Children understand “poo”, “stools or motions” are terms are terms only understood by middle class snobs and hence should not be used by the BBC.

  90. 90

    I know I heard it. Yet its gone from the internet.
    Like his lifelong attacks against the House of Lords that are hard to track down, now, Lord Johnny Prescott’s opposition to elected police commissioners also seems to have gone missing. Maybe it was on newsnight.

    Does the internet have a ‘remove all my hypocrisy button’ somewhere?

  91. 91
  92. 92
    cunts the lot of them says:

    Any news on those vibrant and multicultural arseholes on trial up north yet?

  93. 93
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns) says:

    Very handsome. You sound like a good solid MP and I wonder what these sock puppets (pah!) are doing. Although their remarks are rather amusing…

  94. 94
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op)) says:

    Can someone please explain to me about pe-a words? This blog seems to have a subculture of its own.

  95. 95
    8i11y 8owd3n says:

    The Stasi would be proud.

  96. 96
    Lagabad Adahel says:

    how many did the Heidi post get before it was removedk?

  97. 97
    a stiff upper lip never got anyone anywhere says:

    What a fucking waste of time and money.

  98. 98
    Ed Balls says:

    So what!

  99. 99
    yummy says:

    I fancy a Chinese.

  100. 100

    Their batteries have gone flat from over-use.

  101. 101
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    They are the Stasi.

    After the wall came down they all fled to socialist Britian.

  102. 102
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op)) says:

    Mo the Profit of course! Oops, poobah, or whatever that is you write every time you mention this twit.

  103. 103
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op)) says:

    Good line. Will remember and use on Cdn sites.

  104. 104

    Do you mind!

    I am speaking to myself.

  105. 105
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Ah! So that’s your problem right there!

  106. 106
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    That’s like the the statement “This statement is not true.”

  107. 107

    ‘pea’ words, Bus Cat ? It appears that FatButt may have complained about frequent references to her ethnic origins and eating habits, hence ‘pea’ and ‘rice’ are verboten, also various words relating to our host and his past (not that anyone really cares).

  108. 108
    Nigel Doughty's Ghost says:

    He’ll probably get AIDS out there.

  109. 109
    Stinkfinger says:

    Humberside Police are already so broke they have to use Proton cars as Police vehicles.
    Having to outfit that fat twat in an Idi Amin style commissioners uniform would sink the force.

  110. 110
    annette curton says:

    There was a secret agreement set up just before Tony left office with all the main internet service providers covering all past Labour utterances , it’s called the virtual shred.

  111. 111
    Gordon Brown says:

    I want to be head of this website.

  112. 112
    Tom Badwind says:

    You are the dickhead of the world wide web

  113. 113
    albacore says:

    So this trial must just be some idle surmising
    If it were going on there might be an uprising
    And how long could they keep on hiding it for
    A trial in public in a court of law?

  114. 114
    annette curton says:

    Heidi seek.

  115. 115
    Cyclops says:

    I have; because I p*ssed in mine.

  116. 116
    Lox o'Sceles-Reclusa says:

    You’ll come to a sticky end.

  117. 117
    annette curton says:

    When Labour removed the death penalty for treason from the statute books they also did similar for piracy on the high seas. This is how the Russians deal with them without the benefit of EU ‘uman rights.

  118. 118
    Le Monde correspondent says:

    http://www.thelawyer.com/rpc-wins-rothschild-libel-case-for-daily-mail/1011333.article

    Improper behaviour again by Nat Rothschild and Madoff Mandelson

    Dixit Justice Tugendhat in High Court this week

  119. 119
    Jack says:

    Mandelson behaves improperly all the time

    Resigns comes back thru’ influence peddling

    and then starts all over again

    How did he find €8 million after years in Government ?

  120. 120
    £5 Million BBC pilgrim with gold-plated pension says:

    Come and join us at the BBC, we’ve got a mountain of cash that even a rampant trougher like you couldn’t get through.

  121. 121
    annette curton says:

    Try again. Russian navy.

  122. 122
    nellnewman says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/bbc-to-issue-global-apology-for-documentaries-that-broke-rules-6719997.html

    the beeb finally admits it puts out biased programmes. will it now also admit its reporting of global warming and the eu is just as biased ?

  123. 123
  124. 124
    Nigel Doughty's Ghost says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2099734/Luis-Suarez-KKK-mask-Manchester-United-fanzine-seized-police.html

    lol.

    Someone get photo’d near Andy Burnham with that on and you’d win the internet.

  125. 125
    The ansr says:

    The ansr is in your question brother Jack: anyone that close to Bliar in a LieBore Govt gets stinking rich one way or another, – oh and Cherry too.

  126. 126
    J Clouseau says:

    ‘e saved it out of thee ‘ouse-keeping, naturellement.

  127. 127
    The Revd. Phoney B£iar, NBG, GIT, with quivering lips and stupid grin says:

    You mean things like my River of Fire and The Tent and the Thrid Way?

  128. 128
    annette curton says:

    We need a full public enquiry to get to the bottom of this scandal, any takers?, no, thought not, perhaps just a passing reference to it on Newsnight or Question Time, oh well, those that control the news make the news in their image.

  129. 129
    Russian Oligarch and his bent City solicitors says:

    It is simple really

    We give Mandy a few grand every time we see him

    He loves money like other people love their wives (my he does not have one of course)

    We have bought the government in Russia (Russia was recently described by The Economist of London as a “kleptocracy”) and now we are making ourselves at home in your country which is a toddlme compared with what we had to beofre to get instantly very rich…

    Just look at your political class to see how corrupt it is…

  130. 130
    Brown's shitst@ins says:

    The BBC tax-licence fee payers is being used to participate in Europe@n Economics. The l-f payers owe the EIB £30m which must be repaid in full in May. Do the l- fee payers have a say in this? No they don’t. The BBC is a disgrace.

  131. 131
    The BBC says:

    We certainly are not!! We are here to serve our Leader, and we await His return to lead us to Glory!

    Hail Brown!

    Hail the Great Economic Miracle Worker!!

    Hail the Friend of Democratic Nations – N Chorea and Mug Abeland!

  132. 132

    Thank you Ivor ar but that was not me but a poor impersonator.

  133. 133
    TittieTabloid Master says:

    The good thing about being Rupert Murdcoch is not caring that 99.9% of the world excluding his wife, think the wizened old prune is a nasty corrupt old git, but then she’s in it for the money and the future!

  134. 134
    Dulce Bellum Inexpertis says:

    There ought to be an order put before parliament stripping the BBC of the term British from its title… under the “Trades Description Act”

  135. 135
    Dark Dirty Corrupt Lord of Boy says:

    Costs me a fortune in Vaseline, Russia has huge reserves apparently

    I have a certain fondness for the original name though, Rod Wax

  136. 136

    There is no evidence to support this claim so we may suppose that it is spurious – like the person who has borrowed my moniker.

  137. 137
    Lord Justice Turkeyforahat says:

    Bloody hell, I am amazed sometimes at my brave heart, which goes in no small measure to make up for my occasional stupidity.

  138. 138
    Marmite says:

    Stupid git. Get a life!

  139. 139
    R D Stewart says:

    I didn’t wish to know that. Kindly leave the stage.

  140. 140
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Sorry to be pedantic, but if you can’t remember it how do you know he/she has borrowed it?

  141. 141
    Double speak! says:

    Flash point: Suarez angers Suarez by refusing to shake the Frenchman’s hand

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2099734/Luis-Suarez-KKK-mask-Manchester-United-fanzine-seized-police.html#ixzz1m6DGhHO3

  142. 142
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Unless the MP in question is riding in a speedboat, named Mike Handycock, and a publicity-hungry fuckwit.

  143. 143
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    No, it’s longer than that and contains different words. Do keep up, there’s a good chap.

  144. 144
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mummy Mummy can you please scrape my bottom

  145. 145
    Nigel Doughty's Ghost says:

    I’d rather wake up next to Murdoch’s wife than Cherie Blair, Sarah Brown or Justine Milliband.

  146. 146
    c.eng says:

    If the BoE would double up printing speed they could wipe out the National Debt. They’re almost there, £325 Bn printed to date, £575 Bn debt to go.

    Truly Central Bankers are the Evil in the system.

    They would be shot, if the Peeps weren’t so thick.

  147. 147
    Samuel Brittan... says:

    .
    .
    Did QE work after WWII? Could it be smaller and targetted?

  148. 148
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood ModBot Advisory Service says:

    You forgot about “B*nkr*pt.” You may also wish to avoid referring by actual name to a particular gentleman who shares a name with a cricket official.

  149. 149
    Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon, trougher, europhile and closet socialist says:

    I’m on bottom scraping duties today. I’m taking a rest from scraping the bottom of the barrel with my policies.

  150. 150
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Ta! If I know the in jokes, the site is funnier.

  151. 151
    Diane Abbott says:

    I get mine blacked once a year by Chatham Marine Services.

  152. 152
    A pretentious prick picked by a pretentious pompous pratt says:

    The name is Bollocks . . . . Neo Endogenous Bollocks, and I’m full of seed of Noo Progressive Ideas

  153. 153
    Chatham Marine Services says:

    That’s why we keep the submarine pen operational.

    The lads get a special payment for filthy and hazardous work.

    We’re always glad when it’s over.

  154. 154
    Sarah, the Twatty Twit who tweets says:

    You have no idea what you’re missing big boy!

  155. 155
  156. 156
    The CommonSoCalledWealth of the Carribean.. says:

    .
    .
    What are we doing in the Caribbean… What has it got to do with us.

  157. 157
    The CommonSoCalledWealth of the Caribbean.. says:

    .
    .

  158. 158
    grobdj says:

    Totally agree

    The other lie this week is that project Merlin is working. How can the BBA claim that lending to SMEs is only £1bn off target, yet net lending is down by much more than this.

    Meanwhile bank deposits (our accounts in credit with the banks) are up at least a billion a month, despite f*** all interest being paid out.

    No doubt this is why the bankers see nothing wrong in dipping their hands in our till once again

  159. 159
    South of the M4 says:

    Your policies? Thus far all we have had is a continuation of NewLabour policies.

  160. 160
    Diane Abbott says:

    “………. if you want to impress in the bedroom ‘ pretentious prick picked by a pretentious pompous pratt’ you should skip your coffee fix and opt for a less pungent energy boost. Coffee is one of the things that make your semen taste bad. Other things to avoid are: garlic, onions and red meat. “

  161. 161

    Asty darling, please make the slightest attempt to keep up!

    I can remember my moniker. Its Can’t remember my moniker.

    Cameras, Sound, Action!

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Lol, there is a Chatham marine services, sorry guys.

  163. 163

    Read Hegel.

    Understand.

    Fuck your brain.

  164. 164
    AC1 says:

    Efficiency implies that wind power actually produces more energy than it takes to manufacture and assemble the windmills and power infrastructure to support them.

  165. 165
    British Medical Council says:

    Would you prefer we use “Shite” ?

  166. 166
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    No no, the Alzheimer’s is all yours, my dear fellow, and I must uphold the logic of my question.

  167. 167
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    >Fuck your brain.

    I employ staff for that — Lady A. M.

    I’ll ask her if she wants to read Hegel and get back to you.

  168. 168
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I wonder what’s so singular about him.

  169. 169
    annette curton says:

  170. 170

    I thought better of you.

    The Ken Livingstones of this world get other people to read things for them.

  171. 171
    Gordon Brown says:

    Nus! ah’ve dan’ ma’ bedtime poo! – i’ tha’ loo lak ya’ tald me tae’

  172. 172

    I know I asked you to read Hegel.

    I am now asking you to read Wittgenstein’s Tractatus.

    Picture theory of meaning.

  173. 173
    Hats off to Chatham Marine Services! says:

    Sincerely me old loves, – you’re wonderful! Keep up the good work, and every good wish for the future! May your fortunes rise high in spite of difficult times in current economic climate!

  174. 174
    George "spank me now" Osborne says:

    Fuck marriage!

  175. 175
    Brit Islands says:

    Cayman Islands
    Turks and Caicos
    British Virgin Islands
    Anguilla
    Montserrat

    The above are British territory full stop.

    Then there are the Islands in the British Commonwealth.

    Then there are
    British West Indies/Anglophone Caribbean – Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Barbados, Bay Islands, Belize, British Virgin Islands, Cayman Islands, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, Montserrat, Saint Croix (briefly), Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago (from 1797) and the Turks and Caicos Islands

  176. 176
    Cole Price says:

    Surely you’re not referring to Billy Bowden ?

  177. 177
    George "spank me now" Osborne says:

    Oh, and during this banking bonus season please remember the honest hardworking financial community that makes the UK such a great place to do business.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/banksandfinance/9076563/RBS-staff-held-in-tax-fraud-investigation.html

  178. 178
    Joss Askin says:

    Sorry for what?

  179. 179
    annette curton says:

    I can thoroughly recommend Chatham Marine Services *****.

  180. 180
    A hand-wringing multi-culti effno-centric 'community' advisor says:

    But what about the arranged marriages of all the im. i. grants? How will they manage wivout bennys?

    Never mind the wh.ite indigenous population. F*ck them!

    We want bennys for as ylum see kers – and lots of em!

  181. 181
    Dave Cam the Wind Farm man says:

    Be fair! They’re the only ones I know!

  182. 182
    Sarah Beard says:

    So would I!

  183. 183
    Just Another City Rent Seeker says:

    @ 1:23pm, 11:44pm: You are Neo taking the piss and I claim my five quid.

  184. 184
    Cherie Blair says:

    Oi! I have to wake up next to Tony Blair!

  185. 185
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Too much information.

  186. 186
    Poster girl says:

    How odd! I tried posting this filmlet a month or two ago in connection with a different subject and it was modded out of existence. Must have been something to do with the liquid under discussion.

  187. 187
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    It’s as I thought, she prefers chick-lit.

    Do you know how barmy Hegel was, never mind poor old Wittgenstein? Lunacy is an occupational hazard for philosophers – and their readers ;-)

  188. 188
  189. 189
  190. 190
    Unaligned voter says:

    Fat tit Pickles is the usual tosser. No one is banning prayrs for God Botherers, just not putting it on the agenda. Talk about jumping on band wagons!

  191. 191
    Legal beagle says:

    He’s trying to make up for all those disgraceful superinjunctions

  192. 192
    Le Monde correspondent says:

    When will he be arrested for corruption ?

  193. 193
    Grocer Heath says:

    Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah EUSSSR wah wonderful!

  194. 194
    Cole Price says:

    NO + YES = your claim is unsustainable.

  195. 195
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Whitney Houston Dead at 48

  196. 196

    Only the good die young.

    That thought is at least good news for you and me, Frankie…

  197. 197
    M Gibson says:

    That Costner fellow’s slacking these days.

  198. 198
    Carry On Dave says:

    “Cameron ‘plans football racism summit’ ”

    With luck, at the top of Everest

  199. 199
    Gordon Brown says:

    Just last week I wished Whitney Houston well.

  200. 200
    Ted Moult says:

    I can see right through Cameron’s plans.

  201. 201
    Michael Jackson says:

    I too was addicted to crack.

    Boys ass cracks that is.

  202. 202
    Ah! Monika says:

    It’s the cuts i tell ya.

    Only 20, yes 20, coppers to arrest one, yes one, Sun reporter.

  203. 203
    Jo Moore says:

    Another good day to bury bad news.

  204. 204
    Ah! Monika says:

    Probably headed by Fatbot,Vazline, and Warsi.

  205. 205
  206. 206
    Ah! Monika says:

    The BBC could do with borrowing their ” Standards and Management Committee”

  207. 207
    Crack is whack says:

  208. 208
    Bob Crowe says:

  209. 209
    Pig Pickles says:

    Has Eric Pickles ever heard of portion control? Alternatively, just limit himself to seconds rather twenty-thirds.

  210. 210
    BBC Pilgrims and shafters of the People says:

    Don’t talk about us PLEASE

    Unemployment will double in London if we are sacked

  211. 211
  212. 212
    albacore says:

    Cast Iron Dave, relevant as ever
    If only you and I were as clever
    But he sees only what he wants to see
    And he keeps all the rest from you and me
    Racism’s being tried in Liverpool
    Wrong colour, though, for a premier fool

  213. 213
    Police Commissioner Prezza says:

    I quite agree

  214. 214
    Bonzo the Chimp says:

    Not just little boys, Micky!

  215. 215
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Over the years I’ve had my cock in anything that moves, time to try anything that doesn’t move.

  216. 216

    Now I know that you are trying to please me. :-)

  217. 217
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, tbh. At least we know you’re talking down to adults and not patronising 5 year olds.

  218. 218

    I Plead The Fifth Amendment.

    Many thousands of times over.

  219. 219
    Liverpool D Notice says:

    The British establishment – getting their priorities right as usual. What’s a bunch of raped white working class kids compared to the hurt widdle feelings of ethnic millionaire footballers?

  220. 220
    Diane Fatfuck says:

    You chimps are always playing the divide and rule card.

  221. 221
    BBC Spokesliar says:

    If we don’t report it, it doesn’t exist.

  222. 222
    I know that you know that I know says:

    “Read Hegel.

    Understand.

    Fuck your brain”

    Little wonder you’re a fuck up when your ‘reason’ takes refuge in the works of that fucking charlatan, Hegel.

  223. 223
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The only thing you have ever had your cock in TaT is your hand !
    You sad lonely spaz !

  224. 224
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Mornin mate !

  225. 225
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    LoL !

  226. 226
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    I wouldn’t have minded a good portion of Whitney’s crack

  227. 227
    going native oopt'north says:

    Don’t forget about us wankers in Salford.

  228. 228
    CSI Miami says:

    Never too late Frankie, just get yourself a white coat and find out the address of the morgue.

  229. 229
    Dave's Racism Summit Communiqué says:

    In future, the government will be publishing an annual order laying out which words are acceptable for use in describing different ethicities, racial groups, tribes, clans, religions and creeds, which it will be the duty of all white citizens to learn.

    We will also publish a full list of words not suitable for describing white people, but in the interests of community cohesion, lists of unsuitable words for others will not be published.

    New police taskforces will be set up to examine all white citizens in their knowledge and the use of the approved terminology. Suitable punishments and opportunities for re-education will be provided to assist white citizens to correct-think.

    Finally we intened to re-inforce this policy by providing regular training sessions for white people to assist them in accommodating and adapting to the culture, history, desires and aspirations of others at all times in every way possible.

  230. 230
    not to be cruel or anything says:

    Looking at these mature dating sites, it’s dawned on me why the older man is attracted to younger women.

  231. 231
    Lateral Blue sky thinking outside the box says:

    Taking this further up the flagpole we could keep all the Naval fleet in Docks and redeploy all personell in doing useful work around the country, picking up litter, filling in potholes etc thus killing two birds with one stone

  232. 232
    Whitney Houston says:

    I’m I number 1 yet ?

  233. 233

    Comes to something when the jokes have to be explained to the illiterati that waft in here.

    Business cat had referred to the contradictory This statement is not true.

    Marx said that Hegelian contradiction is the source of all dialectic. For me to quote this in fun does not mean that I am Hegelian – nor Marxist, before you go off on another one.

    Lighten up.

  234. 234
    Manhandlespank (and Boys) says:

    I love being serviced by marines, and Chatham MS are amongst the best I’ve used. Heartily recommended.

  235. 235
    Revd Phoney "£rd Way" B£iar, Sanctimonious Git, with stupid grin says:

    Isn’t my boy Dave doing well!

  236. 236
    Handycock Champion of East/West Relations says:

    I do not know how many times I have visited Russia, as I lost my passport in the sea. Boaz.

  237. 237
    I know that you know that I know says:

    Hahahahahahahaha……to quote Hegel in fun!! Now I know you really ARE a fuck up.


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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”


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