Picking up the Penny

Guido won’t bother with the fashion round up this time, but devout nicotine addict Laurie Penny popped up on our television again this lunchtime, complete with a fake cigarette. Jackie Ashley had dropped out at the last minute from appearing on the Daily Politics, so our favourite flame-haired firebrand was called up to fill in. In the course of the interview she offered her services as chairman of RBS, declaring that she could do Hester’s job without the paycheck. Guido is sceptical…

Leaving aside the differences between turning around an enormous multinational financial institution and jetting around teenage trouble-spots with a smartphone, let’s just see what Penny’s comrades at the Occupy movement could teach us about running a bank:

“Following criticism of the way in which the camp’s financial affairs have been run, the finance group quit en masse. That included the person who has the key for the safe — with the result that no one could access the money. Coupled with the fact that donations are now lagging behind expenditure, there has been a serious shortage of money to pay for things such as food and power. Protester Leo Ashford, 20, …told reporters that despite generous donations by supporters, money had been squandered. ‘We’re protesting against bankers, and no one on our finance team knows how to use a ledger or a receipt,’ he said.‘In the second week we had public opinion on our side and enough donations to sustain ourselves. We all could have had brand-new tents and blow-up mattresses. Now no one knows where the money has gone. ‘I’m sad, but I knew a month ago that it would get to the point where we would collapse in on ourselves on essentially our own stupidity.’”

Watching the Penny, you better hope the pounds could look after themselves.

Video via @LiarPoliticians

Olympic Order of the OTT for Jeremy Hunt

Poor Jeremy Hunt is getting frightfully carried away with his £12 billion Olympic baby:

“come and enjoy what will be the most exciting time in British history.”

Guido is looking forward to catching up with all the “excitement” after a month at the Maison Secondaire.

Classy Timing for Guardian Attack

A confused co-conspirator whispers to Guido that the Guardian have been working on the story they ran this morning about Michael Gove giving public funds to a group they don’t like for at least two weeks. The latest installment of their campaign against the  education secretary claims that he personally made the decision to give taxpayers’ money to the Community Security Trust despite being, along with fifty others, an advisor to their board. A fair point perhaps, but given that the CST “advise the Jewish community on matters of security and antisemitism”, why did they wait until Holocaust Memorial Day to run the story? Odd, at best…

UPDATE: A source to Gove gets in touch to say said: “It is unbelievable to attack any politician for funding the protection of Jewish children. It is even more extraordinary and frankly offensive to do it on Holocaust Memorial Day.”

UPDATE II: The CST aren’t happy either. They note that the Guardian did not even bother to contact them before running the story and have let rip on their own blog.

Friday Caption Contest (Guidoisation of Politics Edition)

See: Polish Politicians Don Guy Fawkes Masks

Tory MEP Fury at Youth Wing’s German Sell Out

With the Tories leaving the European Peoples Party, MEPs have been keen to make sure they keep some influence in other movements, such as the The International Democrat Union – the formal gathering of centre-right parties across the globe. But clearly the young Conservatives here didn’t get that memo…

The IDU’s youth-wing (IYDU) has always been Atlanticist in its outlook. With more than a little help from Ashcroft, IYDU has been in British or UK-friendly hands – until now. At its recent AGM in Sydney, the pro-EU Germans reneged on a deal and knifed the Australian candidate for Chairman in the back. Pro-EU IYDU members have used funding from Brussels to unite to take over the IYDU, shutting out African and Commonwealth countries from its inner core. Any Euroscepticism in the group is being slowly squeezed out. But who would sell out the UK’s interests and let this happen? Well step forward the Chairman of Conservative Future…

There was no Dave-like veto for Ben Howlett, whose career highlights thus far have included infuriating everyone in the Tories from Tebbit down by declaring Gerry Adams was his favourite Irish politician, and having such a temper tantrum during a photo-shoot that the Standard photographer refused to take part. Howlett returned to Britain trumpeting the German takeover of the IYDU as a triumph for British interests. It is anything but that, although it is a triumph for him personally as he managed to get himself elected as an officer in a deal with the Germans. The friend of Gerry has now become the friend of Jerry, and Tory MEPs are fuming…

The Alternate Reality of Denis MacShane II

Q: How do you know when Denis MacShane is lying?

A: When he’s tweeting.

Yesterday Guido brought  you the disgraced, de-whipped Labour MP’s fibs about the Olympics and the pound. Now this morning a psephological co-conspirator gets in touch to point out another howler:

Except, the polls in Croatia, see here, were correctly predicting that Yes would win, and were showing support for the EU growing. A MacShameless porkie…

Ed Miliband on the important issue facing the world…

“David Cameron’s example of responsible capitalism was the chocolate orange. He’s failed to sort it out, why?”

RBS Bonus Day Banter

No invite to Davos for Chuka Umunna. After comparing running RBS to being a local NHS Chief Executive, the acceptable face of Milibandism told the Today programme that bonuses should be linked to performance. He failed to mention that Stephen Hester’s bonus will do exactly that. RBS are not giving him cash, but share options worth £963,000. He will not be able to claim it until 2014, so if RBS shares drop, his bonus will drop. With no one willing to take Chuka on this morning, it was left to John Humphrys to paint the picture of doom at what would have happened to RBS, and taxpayers’ money, if Hester and his board had walked out.

Elsewhere LibDem Jeremy Browne has said Hester should turn the bonus down. Interesting positioning from the right-wing LibDem.

Lining up for Huhne’s job?



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Charles Clarke says Cameron is the most successful PM for over a century…

“Under Margaret Thatcher the Conservatives gained 99 seats. They lost 211 under John Major, gained one under William Hague, quickly and wisely got rid of Ian Duncan-Smith, gained 32 under Michael Howard and have so far gained 133 under David Cameron who, to the great surprise of many (including senior Conservatives), has turned out to be the most electorally successful Tory leader since 1900.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

ENVIRONMENT MAYOR TOTTY WATCH: BRAZIL EDITION ENVIRONMENT MAYOR TOTTY WATCH: BRAZIL EDITION
HAIN GRAVY TRAIN HYPOCRISY HAIN GRAVY TRAIN HYPOCRISY
MONBIOT SKINS & COOKS SQUIRREL ON NEWSNIGHT MONBIOT SKINS & COOKS SQUIRREL ON NEWSNIGHT
DAVE’S CARBON BAGGAGE DAVE’S CARBON BAGGAGE
Daylight Robbery: Met Chain Themselves to £216 Billion 10 Year IT Contract Daylight Robbery: Met Chain Themselves to £216 Billion 10 Year IT Contract
Trumps Hair: Toupee or Not Toupee? Trumps Hair: Toupee or Not Toupee?

BURNHAM BLOWS DOG WHISTLE LINE BURNHAM BLOWS DOG WHISTLE LINE
DCMS FUN POLICE CALLED OFF THE CASE DCMS FUN POLICE CALLED OFF THE CASE
NEW PEERAGES LIST IN FULL NEW PEERAGES LIST IN FULL
WELSH FIRST MINISTER CONDEMNS STEEL WORKERS WELSH FIRST MINISTER CONDEMNS STEEL WORKERS
MOAT CLEANING EXPENSES SCANDAL MP AWARDED PEERAGE MOAT CLEANING EXPENSES SCANDAL MP AWARDED PEERAGE
CHICKEN TORIES CHICKEN TORIES
1 IN 5 CORBYN SUPPORTERS VOTED FOR CLEGG 1 IN 5 CORBYN SUPPORTERS VOTED FOR CLEGG
CORBYN ESCAPES #LABOURPURGE CORBYN ESCAPES #LABOURPURGE
VOICE OF AN OIL DRILL VOICE OF AN OIL DRILL
Wind Turbines: Subsidised Sun Beds Wind Turbines: Subsidised Sun Beds
FLASHBACK: EVERY DAY SEXUAL SEGREGATION FLASHBACK: EVERY DAY SEXUAL SEGREGATION
Control the Camera on this 360° Crossrail Video Control the Camera on this 360° Crossrail Video
Flashback: Labour Leader Vote Hijack, Could Rivals Do a Balotelli? Flashback: Labour Leader Vote Hijack, Could Rivals Do a Balotelli?
Andy Burnham Everyday Sexism Andy Burnham Everyday Sexism
Burnham Threatens to Quit Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet Burnham Threatens to Quit Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet
GORDON DOOMS YVETTE (?) GORDON DOOMS YVETTE (?)
MPs’ Deleted Tweets Twitter Don’t Want You to See MPs’ Deleted Tweets Twitter Don’t Want You to See
Corbyn: ‘I Don’t Support Putin, But…’ Corbyn: ‘I Don’t Support Putin, But…’
Foreign cash funding In campaign should be illegal Foreign cash funding In campaign should be illegal
Corbyn v Train Jihadi Corbyn v Train Jihadi
JEREMY CORBYN EQUATES ISIS TO US MILITARY JEREMY CORBYN EQUATES ISIS TO US MILITARY
MILIBAND’S TRIBUTE BEARD MILIBAND’S TRIBUTE BEARD
CORBYN AT PMQS CORBYN AT PMQS
JEREMY CORBYN’S SENSIBLE JUMPER ADVICE JEREMY CORBYN’S SENSIBLE JUMPER ADVICE