January 25th, 2012

On the Road to Scotland

Whilst Guido was unable to persuade Neo-Guido of the merits of hanging child-killers, he has been converted to the cause of Scottish Freedom.  A former Chairman of Edinburgh University’s Conservative and Unionist Association, he has come a long way from when he was the blog’s undergraduate summer intern in 2008. He has written about his conversion from devout unionist to freedom-fighting nationalist guerilla here:

“The brain drain that saw enlightened Scots give America its magnificent constitution has never stopped. What remains is a nation dependent on the state; a hand out culture and a something for nothing utopia. An insult to its past. And this will never change while Scotland remains the junior partner in a relationship it never asked to be in.”

Now, about the monarchy…


365 Comments

  1. 1
    Alex says:

    Scottish Land can fuck right off! And take there share of the debt from banks!

    • 7
      Rog says:

      When do the English get a say in all this?

      And you do have to laugh at the notion of independence, merely to become an even less important satellite of the EU.

      • 40
        B.Bob... says:

        Send the buggers back :)

        • 210
          Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

          C’MON DAVE – ASK ENGLAND THE QUESTION

          WE’LL GIVE’EM THEIR FREEDOM

          • Highland Games says:

            Stipulate that they have to be able to toss off Gordon Brown more than 30′ before they can reclaim him as their finance wizard.

          • English Heretic says:

            Yes please – Home Rule For England!

          • Rage Against the Political Elite says:

            Are we training Scottish troops so if Alex Braveheart Salmond wants to wage WAR on England they will have the best trained guys, Will we give them the guns and tanks that are built in the UK? Just wondered as that type of thing is not going well in Afghanistan. Shit training future terrorists !!!! You could’nt make it up.

        • 212
          Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

          C’MON DAVE – ASK ENGLAND THE QUESTION

          WE’LL GIVE’EM THEIR FREEDOM

          especially as fracking in Kent and Sussex will deliver Natural Gas self sufficiency for England

          • Necronomicon says:

            I like Scotland and the Scottish, but full independence for the tax-hoarding shortbread-munchers now please. Take your Labour safe seats with you.

          • jgm2 says:

            Sussex?

            We’re rich!!!!

            Cheap energy, productive farmland, beautiful countryside, sparse population, Gatwick airport, our own coastline for trade and fishing, excellent schools.

            Independence for Sussex!

          • Dick the Prick says:

            And just off Blackpool too Mr JGM2. Seriously – the earthquake evidence has kind of come down on it certainly being a bit of a factor but below Blackpool and North Wales it’s quite sparsley populated thus reducing compo claims. Good thing to keep your eye on

          • Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

            The US Government has confirmed a fracking link with a 5.6 earthquake in Oklahoma on Guy Fawkes night last year that was felt all the way to Chicago.

            See http://oilprice.com/Energy/Natural-Gas/U.S.-Government-Confirms-Link-Between-Earthquakes-and-Hydraulic-Fracturing.html

            This will not stop fracking, no matter how unsafe to water and tremors as cheap energy is the corner stone of economic activity.

            Sussex may not be such a great place to live after this

          • jgm2 says:

            5.6? Pah! Make the street lamps wobble a bit.

            5.0–5.9 Moderate Can cause major damage to poorly constructed buildings over small regions. At most slight damage to well-designed buildings.

            We’re gonna be rich!!!!!!

          • Fracking awful says:

            You missed out the gas and oil field supposedly 60,000 barrels a day in the Irish sea, off Blackpool and Liverpool plus all the windmills as well.

          • Well it's a thought says:

            You mean this area

            http://www.shipais.com/currentmap.php?map=livbay

            Bit of gas and a bit of oil and a bit of windpower.

          • Anonymous says:

            What about fracking within the bounds of the M25 then London could be totally independant

      • 99
        The Scots are friendly to the French... says:

        .
        The french are friendly to the Scots.

        Relocate the tunnel! Ha.

      • 119
        Honest View says:

        I’d quite like the Scots to go, if only to deny Labour any more chance of ruining England.
        However, I suspect they’ll go for DevoMax, and get an even more cushioned and privileged arrangement than they have now.

        • 155
          Gordon Brown says:

          So I’ll still have an income then?

          • Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown for services to banking ) says:

            Yes, you and I will continue to suck England dry till the day we die !!

        • 233
          Sean Canary says:

          As the planet’s leading professional Jock, I wholeheartedly endorse Salmond’s leap for independence.

          If only I could be home in the freezing cold, surrounded by inebriated countrymen instead of in this miserable Bahamian tax haven.

          Och!

          • Billy Connolly says:

            I share your pain Sean.

          • Brontosaurus says:

            But you won’t get the knighthood you don’t deserve Sean!

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            Too late for anyone to see this but isn’t connolly rather anti-SNP – probably based on his non-scottish ancestry, which he’s likely to have been reminded about time and time and time again as a youth.

            QUOTE:
            In a 1999 interview with The Sunday Herald Connolly condemned the SNP as “racist” and the new Scottish parliament as a “joke”

    • 14
      Scotched earth says:

      Man blows up crowded jetplane over Scottish soil. Man arrested tried and imprisoned Scotch Government then release man and send him home. There will be great Trouble I tell you when that Scotch government is resposible for everything Scotch. Once we pull our forces out and no longer give them ship building contracts all they will have left is the dstilleries. The will obviously raise some dosh from oil taxation but the contracts have already been signed with the major producers so they effectively have litte or no control in it’s production and distribution.

      Thick Twats.

      • 25
        Pawn Sandwich says:

        Don’t forget shortbread production, tartan ties, salmon farms and butterscotch.

      • 29
        Another Engineer says:

        Orkney and Shetland are nearer to Norway than Edinburgh, and are just about as remote from Edinburgh politics as they are from London.

        What happens if they don’t want to be part of this new, modern, bankrupt, Scotland? No oil then, folks.

        Mind you, it is all nonsense. This is all about Alex ranting for 2 years about not getting what he wants from London before he loses the independence vote and the issue goes into a cupboard for another 40 years.

        • 39
          Atar says:

          Even if Salmond loses the referendum, maybe the rest of Britain might have finally seen the benefit in letting Scotland go, and give them independence whether they like it or not.

          • Another Engineer says:

            No.

            The majority of Scots don’t hate the English. Otherwise they wouldn’t be living in England. :-)

            Its just a noisy minority that get more coverage than they deserve, and we shouldn’t judge all the Scots on that basis.

            A lot of people voted for the SNP just because they hated Labour, not because they actually want independence.

          • AC1 says:

            So? It doesn’t mean the people of England can’t vote for independence from Scotchland?

          • Another Engineer says:

            I didn’t mean that England couldn’t, just that it wasn’t really necessary.

            It might be a socialist hell hole in some parts, but it would be a shame to lose all of it.

            There are parts of London that would be voted out of the UK if it came to that…

          • AC1 says:

            Name them! I might support that referendum too.

        • 83
          jgm2 says:

          He’s chosen 2014 for a reason. It’s the 700 year anniversary of Bannockburn. They’ll spend the entire year celebrating how fucking great they are and have a vote on St Andrew’s day. To ‘reaffirm’ their independence you see.

          It’ll be an 11 month brain-washing session. The fuckers will vote for independence.

          Tee hee.

          • Geoff says:

            Good riddance, then we can rebuild Hadrians wall with minefields, guard towers and machine guns.By the time we get the wall to 200ft high the construction industry will be booming.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            I think he should do it on St.George’s day.

            That would really stir up the natives!

          • genghiz the kahn says:

            Don’t forget the Old Pretender’s 1714 rebellion, add on Bannockburn 1314, and you can be sure that a whole spring and summer will be devoted to the highlights of Scots Nationalism in 2014 and that today is Burns Night.

            Salmond thinks so highly of Scotland that he wants teenagers 16-17 year olds to vote on independence, putting the franchise on a par with Cuba and North Korea.

            No European state gives under 18s the vote, and you would be hard pressed to find any states in the Americas, the Commonwealth unwise to do what that walking heart attack heid case proposes. The Scot Nats might wonder why virtually every democracy limits voting ages to 18. There is a good reason for it, but that Hunt Salmond is too mendacious to own up that he knows it.

            As for the legality of the vote and the wording of the question,

          • jgm2 says:

            Alex only has a majority of one or two. I’d be very worried if I was an S&P MSP in a marginal constituency right now. After what happened to John Smith and Robin Cook.

            A few by-elections going against Alex could really fuck up his plans.

            Just saying.

        • 159
          Gourmet says:

          Anyone fancy smoked Salmond?

      • 46
        jgm2 says:

        Indeed. When Spiteful Alex does his sums he invariably takes the number of barrels of oil per day (say 2 million) and multiplies it by the spot price of oil (say 100USD) and declares that Scotland is subbing England 200 million USD a day so anything less than that in extra handouts is taking money off Fucking Scotland.

        Thing is – he forgets that not all that 100USD is profit. It doesn’t magically app*ear in big tins at Grangemouth.

        The worst part is that Fucking Scotland does receive 200 million USD in handouts every fucking day. Which they then use to fund ‘free’ university places, ‘free’ prescriptions, ‘free’ elderly care etc etc and sneer at the English for not ‘managing their budget’ so they can provide the same. Might it not be the extra 1200 quid per head Danegeld that allows such largesse? It is – but the fuckers dress it up as them simply having different priorities rather than an extra 1200 quid per head to throw around.

        They are going to get such a fucking hard landing when they have to dig into their own pockets for all the ‘free’ this and ‘free’ that they currently enjoy at English taxpayers expense.

        It will be fucking hilarious.

        • 129

          Actually, i think we`ll stick around after all, if for no other reason than to wind you up even more.

          • Rog says:

            Great. Let’s do it without the Barnett formula, eh?

          • Thick inglish mouthpiece watch says:

            Rog youdont evenknow what the Barnet formula is you stupid c unt, come on then tell us !

          • jgm2 says:

            The Barnett formula is a formula whereby people with no ambition to better their lives and choose to stay in Scotland instead get paid an extra 1200 quid a year in government handouts.

            Next question.

          • Thick inglish mouthpiece watch says:

            Can “Rog” not speak for himself you interfering old prick ?

      • 51
        jgm2 says:

        Indeed. When Spiteful Alex does his sums he invariably takes the number of ba*rr*els of oil per day (say 2 million) and multiplies it by the spot price of oil (say 100USD) and declares that Scotland is subbing England 200 million USD a day so anything less than that in extra handouts is taking money off Fucking Scotland.

        Thing is – he forgets that not all that 100USD is profit. It doesn’t magically app*ear in big tins at Grangemouth.

        The worst part is that Fucking Scotland does receive 200 million USD in handouts every fucking day. Which they then use to fund ‘free’ university places, ‘free’ prescriptions, ‘free’ elderly care etc etc and then sneer at the English for not ‘managing their budget’ so they can provide the same. Might it not be the extra 1200 quid per head Danegeld that allows such largesse? It is – but the fuckers dress it up as them simply having different priorities rather than an extra 1200 quid per head to throw around.

        They are going to get such a fucking hard landing when they have to dig into their own pockets for all the ‘free’ this and ‘free’ that they currently enjoy at English taxpayers expense.

        It will be fucking hilarious.

    • 65
      Bawbag says:

      My Scottish O-Grade in English suggests you mean “their” not “there”…

    • 70
      AC1 says:

      Post Darien Scheme Scotchland didn’t ask it BEGGED.

      • 197
        AC1 says:

        “It’s SHITE being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We’re ruled by effete assholes.

        Mark Renton-Trainspotting

        • 246
          Hava Nagila says:

          Problem: Renton is an Edinburgh character in a book about Edinburgh written by an Edinburgh author.

          Edinburgh isn’t part of Scotland. It’s a city of 400,000 English pricks.

          • jgm2 says:

            It’s a city of 400,000 English pricks.

            That’s what the Scots really think of the English.

          • AC1 says:

            Right…

            The sort of “Mrs Thatcher (PBUH) wasnt a real woman” approach taken by the lefty wymims lib movement.

          • Another Engineer says:

            OK, so Edinburgh is English. By that argument, so is half of Aberdeen (the other half is Texan), and so is most of the Highlands and most of the Borders.

            So, that leaves Glasgow, Cumbernauld, and Fife.

            Good luck with that.

          • Anonymous says:

            English prick = tautology

    • 245
      The Vatican says:

      Guido your papist plot to divide and end the Union is coming along nicely.

  2. 2
    Forlornehope says:

    Of course independence will stop the brain drain from Scotland; just like it did for the Republic of Ireland (Oh dear!)

  3. 3
    Rh- says:

    frankly I am not looking forward to an independent scotland once its realized that no-one is going to replace the UK’s funding of the state’s teat.
    I expect 50% tax rates for everyone in a job and a huge hike in the council tax for those who own a house. The public sector and benefits brigade are obviously far more important to both the snp and labour as both look to them for support.
    being a taxpayer just means they know where you live and how much you earn.

    • 71
      Archer Karcher says:

      The jocks have been rendered useless welfare junkies by decades of welfarism.
      Compete against England? Laughable. Turn the country into a socialist / green powerhouse? The stuff of fantasists.
      Salmond even deludes himself that he can create a 100% carbon free energy grid and anyone in Scotland could afford to pay for the “power” it would theoretically generate.
      That said let them go their own way if they want it, just don’t let them back when the EU start demanding permanent austerity as a solution, to their self inflicted idiocy.
      Oh yeah and seal the borders and send the millions of jocks in England home, before any independence.

      • 92
        jgm2 says:

        They’re making a rod for their own back.

        If Fucking Scotland continues to hand out free old-age care then every ex-pat Scot will show up in their twilight years demanding a free place in a nursing home. Folk from all over the EU will flock there demanding their free old-age care.

        So their entire economy will be paying even more state employees to shamble about the place consuming all that magic oil revenue.

        It’ll become a health-care gulag.

        Tee hee.

        • 164
          Atar says:

          Of course there is the small matter of whether a newly-independent Scotland would even be admitted to the EU.

          Let’s face it, they’ll hardly be willing to accept yet another screwed-up destitute economy, will they? I can see a lot of current EU members vetoing their membership.

      • 93
        M says:

        Salmond is able to produce enough gas to generate 100% of Scotland’s energy requirements

        Ok I’ll give him that

  4. 4
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Well said.

    As a British taxpayer I look forward to greater freedom once I’m no longer having to shell out for Rab C Nesbitt.

    Plus a bus load of Scottish MPs in Westminster would have to stay behind Hadrian’s Wall, a Conservative majority would follow. To top it all, Gordon Brown would no longer be an MP. Och aye!

    • 151
      Really? says:

      For all its disadvantages, a properly-functioning two-party system at least ensures a degree of political plurality. If Labour are locked out of power, there is no visible candidate to replace them.

      • 332
        Sciatico says:

        …. which is how it should be. The field would be open to all candidates instead of a see-saw between two establishments only loyal to themselves.

    • 253
      Dr Spock says:

      Gordon Brown should be anointed President of an independent Jockland

      It would quickly sink under the waves of the Atlantic that way..forever…

  5. 5
    un believer says:

    how does neo guido feel about the heavy streak of rampant anti scottish bigtory that runs through the comments of anything relating to scotland on this site?

    bet that helps him feel welcome.

    • 9

      You are aware of the refund policy?

    • 11
    • 19
      Tessa Tickles, currently sipping Scotch Whisky, says:

      Well blame Alex bloody Salmond. With a tosser like him spitting in England’s face day in, day out, what do you expect?

      • 63
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        It’s not just Salmond, it’s the fucking thousands of jocks who are employed at the BBC, fuck me they’re like rats, crawling out from everywhere.

        Nicky Campbell admitted he was a member of the Scottish Nose Pickers, but now he’s gone hard left and is a Labour luvvie.

    • 23
      jgm2 says:

      rampant anti scottish bigtory

      Big Tory?

      I think you’ll find most folk in England are very pro Scottish independence. Alex Salmond’s poisonous ‘drip-drip’ of Anti-English hatred has done its work.

      Good luck.

      Glad I got out before it was too late.

      • 31
        un believer says:

        “Alex Salmond’s poisonous ‘drip-drip’ of Anti-English hatred has done its work.”

        making anti scottish hatred acceptable?

        OK then.

        I’m english btw, glad the the Scots will get a chance to democratically express their thoughts on the Union and break free if they so wish; and good luck to them.

        • 59
          Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          I want the jocks to go I just want to make sure we English don’t end up paying for it.

        • 68
          jgm2 says:

          Anti Scottish hatred?

          A chap can only take so much bile before he responds in kind.

          Alex knows what he’s doing with his calculated condescension as do the more learned members of the S&P. Then all they need do is tap into the ‘Braveheart’ version of history they’re taught at school up there and promise the Labour voters even more free stuff than Labour and you have the makings of a real independence movement.

          I’m all for it. Alex and his clowns can fuck off and play at being Latvia or Estonia all they like.

          If Germany and France don’t pay any attention to the UK in Brussels than they’ll certainly not be listening to snide Alex. But he won’t care. He’ll have his own jet to fly around in. Wheeeeee, look at me – King Alex.

          Nope. I’m sick of the fucking place. Sick of being lectured by the fuckers about how ‘caring’ they are, sick of being lectured in voodoo economics by the fuckers, and sick of looking at the utter clusterfuck their jackass enemy agent Gordon Brown made of the UK economy.

          • AC1 says:

            I think Hungary might be a more apt similar country…

          • Rob Roy says:

            So England’s finest young men are going to come to our country get drunk drop their pants and screw the local women as they do in other Eu countries thanks to Ryanair.

          • Hava Nagila says:

            A chap can only take so much bile before he responds in kind.

            I haven’t seen bile directed by the Scots against the English. I’ve seen a never-ending tirade of abuse from the English against the Scots.

            I really just wish you people would grow up.

          • jgm2 says:

            I haven’t seen bile directed by the Scots against the English

            Then you’ve never lived or visited Fucking Scotland.

            And for that you should be thankful.

        • 123
          Fair is Fair... says:

          .
          .
          If the scots have one then can the english have too ….. please. Pretty, please.

      • 36
        Rat's arse says:

        And jgm, the Scotch can keep that ugly sod Andy Murray all to themselves. Not that many English folk bother whether he wins or loses I suspect.

    • 80
      Anonymous says:

      Ignorant drivel on here. Wasted energy reading it.

    • 206
      Jimmy says:

      I’m usually among the first to indulge in some Scot baiting on here, but since it’s Burns night I’m going to resist the temptation.

      Have a good one!

    • 358
      UK Citizen says:

      The people here spouting anti Scottish bile need to take a serious look at themselves,your comments are both ill informed of the independence debate and are verging on racial hatred.

  6. 6
    Watch says:

    The rest of us must ensure we budget for a good quality wall for when the inevitable economic collapse happens, causing mass economic migration.

    Oh an before you ask, no, we won’t have you back.

    • 251
      Philosophical Bricklayer says:

      I think you had better save the bricks for a different project. It would be far more beneficial to you, if you built walls around some areas of inner London and certain places in northern cities. Think of the peace of mind you would have, and you would be able to sleep easy at night, without fear of getting your throat cut.

  7. 8
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Scottish independence good. Binning the royalty bad. The latter would lead to a far less libertarian situation, i.e. yet another layer of state management – although Prince Edward is fairly odd he’s far cheaper and less likely to poke himself in the eye with a stick than Euan Blair.

  8. 10
    Well it's a thought says:

    I hope we can also vote on the referendum as well, because I would like to say bye bye Scotland , we don’t want any more of your MPs .

    • 57
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Yes but we need to pass a law in England that bans the mongs coming down from north of the border and getting into parliament through the back passage.

      There was a plan a few years back when Salmond first got power to get several English Labour MP’s in safe seats to be prepared to stand down to allow the likes of the one eyed mong and co to come down to England and still run the Labour party.

      Does anyone really think the Scottish socialists really want to swim in a small pool?

    • 113
      Hearts n minds says:

      As an Englishman I’d love to vote on the Scottish referendum and, as much as I’d like them to **** off, I’d vote against it so that they wouldn’t get their Braveheart ‘Free-dom’….

      That really would upset them :)

      TBH, how many English actually care about this? Not when there’s X fuctor, Dancing on Lice, Strictly Cum dancing etc on the box.

  9. 12
    BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

    How come that 2 years ago the BBC called the economic situation a “downturn” but now are salivating about a possible “recession”?

    PS Scotland will vote to remain in the union. The independence loonies are at a generous maximum of about 40% support and have been for years. Once the many awkward facts come out over the next 2 years that’s likely to collapse.

    PPS The SNP line “Independence In Europe” is incoherent bollocks, though I doubt it’s likely to get much of a run out in the near future.

    • 16
      Recessive Jean says:

      It’s worse than that Dude, I’ve lost count of the number of times someone on the BBC says we are in a recession and are not corrected.

    • 100
      Universal Hiss says:

      Depends what bribes wee eck thinks up in the next couple of years.

  10. 13
    Tony Bliar is really not a nice person says:

    As a Scot living in England let them go it alone, and take the f.u.c.k.i.n Welsh with you…………The liebour party would be dead and buried here…

    • 17
      Tessa Tickles says:

      The Welsh seem OK now, ever since they got their devolved thingy-do-da assembly whatsit, they seem quite content.

      • 20
        Tony Bliar is really not a nice person says:

        Might be my complete and utter hatered for the Kinnocks but I cant agree with you on this………….

        • 45
          Tessa Tickles says:

          I believe the people of Wales have apologised for the Kinnocks on several occasions.

          • AC1 says:

            I think they throw salt over a shoulder when he’s mentioned.

          • Trevor from Treherbert says:

            Enoch Powell spoke Welsh and wrote a Welsh textbook.

            The Conservatives have not apologized for him!

          • The Paragnostic says:

            Enoch needs no apologies – he merely gave voice to what most indigenous Britons thought and still think about our wonderful multicultural society.

    • 244
      Sleepless in Kirkaldy says:

      Think what it’s like the other way around. As an English Tory in Scotland, I can see seriously having to move the family south to avoid punitive taxation in an economic basket case. Really sad that the land that saw the new enlightenment may choose to rip up the UK like an irrational teenager.

      • 260
        jgm2 says:

        Do it today. By the time the independence vote is cast it will be too late.

        I saw it all coming and fucked off in 2008. If I have any regrets it is that I didn’t keep on going. We’d be 30% richer and 100% isolated from the fallout of the Maximum Imbecile.

      • 266
        Anonymous Scotsman says:

        As a *Scottish* Tory in Scotland, I can see seriously having to move the family south to avoid punitive taxation in an economic basket case.

        An economic basket case and a one-party state ruled over by that dangerous megalomaniac Salmond.

      • 308
        BBC Tumbleweed Watch says:

        It’s not going to happen. Watching the SNP eat itself over the next two years should be fun.

  11. 15
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “unable to persuade Neo-Guido of the merits of hanging child-killers”

    I’m all in favour of hanging child-killers. And I wouldn’t just hang the ones who have killed, I would also hang noisy children. Especially the ones in Waitrose this afternoon.

    • 18
      Tony Bliar is really not a nice person says:

      Waitrose lol, the ones in tesco’s are 10 times noisier…..

      • 21
        Chav Land says:

        The ones in Asda are the worst.

        • 26
          Tony Bliar is really not a nice person says:

          maybe we dont have a asda near me, thank f.u.c.k……….

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            It’s worth popping along to an Asda, just for 5 minutes, to remind yourself how fucking awful the places are.

            The staff in their ridiculous green and black gnome outfits, the fat waddling farting belching swearing chavs grazing the shelves, snacking away as they waddle and fart and belch and swear, and all to the accompaniment of “Asda-FM”, the pretend radio station, blaring chavvy rap music over the intercom at a volume that would wake the dead.

      • 27
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I know, that’s why I stopped shopping there.

        That and because 29 out of 37 of the checkouts are always closed, even after they’ve called out for “all red staff and managers to the checkouts”.

  12. 22
    annette curton says:

  13. 24
    james says:

    Darien Scheme all over again?

    • 36
      Another Engineer says:

      Of course. It is a big pile of Gordon Brown’s jobbies.

      Wait till they see the books of RBS.

      The Royal Bank of Scotland plc, Registered in Scotland No 90312.
      Registered Office: 36 St Andrew Square, Edinburgh, United Kingdom, EH2 2YB.

      • 105
        Universal Hiss says:

        but,but but eck says the fault lies with lack of regulation from Westminster nothing to do with the Scots.

        He seems to have misplaced the copy of the letter he sent to Fred the Shred congratulating him on his wizard banking skills.

  14. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Susan Boyle as new head of state?

  15. 33
    Scary Biscuits says:

    I think you’ll find they did ask to be in the union. They bankrupted themselves with greedy and ultimately calamatous investments in the Americas. (Sound familiar?) The Scottish kings had always had designs on England and when we had a space, as well as bailing them out we let one of them be king of the union seemed like a good way to stop them invading us.

    When the Stuart line died out we chose William of Orange. A bit like us choosing Mrs Thatcher, the Scots found this offensive and tried to invade yet again. Far from Braveheart being about the English eating Scottish babies it was in fact the Scots being quite happy being part of a union where a Scottish king was chosen but not happy with the whole union choosing a successor when he died.

    I think it would be sad if we divorced Scotland but not disastrous. We should certainly give them devo max. I have never understood Tories who claim they support localism when it means removing power from local councils or Brussels but not when it applies to Parliament. This inconsistency is a hallmark of the so-called Tory modernisers. John Major was terrible for Scotland because found it too difficult. Cameron seems to have no better idea.

    • 162
      History Pedant says:

      “When the Stuart line died out” …………… eh/

      I think that you will find the the “Stuart line” fucked off to France before it got hung. Serve the Jock mongs right for trying to force papacy on us.

      A then free & happy English people then invited William of Orange to come across.

      • 217
        Python Lee Jackson says:

        “When the Stuart line died out” ……………. eh?

        After fucking off to France the “Stuart line” tried to come back twice (Bonnie Prince Charlie – remember him) & failed dismally. They continued breeding & the current head of the family will be the next King of Scotchland.

        Step forward ……………. King Rod 1 – D’ya think I’m sexy?

    • 270
      Caleyman says:

      Get your history correct. The overthrow of james VII and II by William IV & III and his consort Mary II was a popular in Scotland as in England. Scotland was fairly content with the Hannoverian succession. The Jacobite rebellions in 1715 and 1745 were Highland/Episcopal/Catholic rebellions The Stuart house by this time was fully in hock to Rome
      At Culloden, one quarter of the regiments on the Government side were Scots (lowland) They loathed the rebels No way did the Scots want Roman Catholics in charge agin

  16. 35
    Superman says:

    Would the English ethnic cleanse the Scots after Independence. Returning all the Scots would of course ruin both countries. No jobs in Scotland and no brains in England.Happy Burns night.Anyway when the chips are down the protestants would stick to the Union and the Catholics wouldn’t. Sectarianism is still alive and well and with a smarmy laywer leading the yes vote the chances are nil

    • 47
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      You are joking? Jocks and brains? I don’t think so.

    • 53
      Marmite says:

      Burns was a talentless git.

      • 75
        fuck Scotland says:

        Burns fancied small boys.

      • 126
        Honest View says:

        Indeed, the saddest thing about Scotland is their reverence for a very minor poet indeed. It’s as if England’s literary hero was John Masefield. Poor old Scots! The pedantic Scott their great novelist; their greatest composer, er, Maxwell Davis?
        Why don’t they stick to their inventors- that’s where they ARE strong!

        • 226
          Zatafact? says:

          Maxwell Davis is an English composer – just happens to live in Scotland BTW.
          Real truth of Burns night is that Scots enjoy a good excuse for a piss-up – most look forward to the party rather than the maudlin sentimentality peddled at Burns suppers.
          Nobody the English can think of for an anniversary bevvy?

          • jgm2 says:

            The problem the English have is that there’s too many to choose from.

            If they celebrated all the great English scientists, writers, composers, statesmen and other sundry greats then they’d be as p155ed as the Scots are all the time.

            The only oddity is that the Scots have to hang some random excuse on 25th January. Who are they celebrating on 26, 27, 28, 29 etc etc of January and every other day of the year when they get just as fucked up?

    • 72
      Mine's a deep fried Mars bar says:

      Most of the Catholics want to join another country, let alone be Scots. I would be more interested in this debate if it was not blindingly obvious now that it is just wee eck bigging himself up at everyone else’s (especially the English’s) expense.

  17. 38
    Rupert my Hero says:

    I thought most of those who signed the American Constitution were of Welsh Extraction, a number being fluent Welsh Speakers but then of course if you have it, you do not need to boast about it like the Scots, who do not.
    Not Celts but Picts… dump the Froggy loving lot of them.

  18. 42
    Ippikin says:

    Bollocks! I seem to remember a bankrupt country, having squandered its wealth on failed colonial adventure coming to England for the ultimate bale-out.
    If Scotland want their independence, perhaps they should consider buying their country back.
    As to the future, I believe we will be better off without the scroungers and their vainglorious, self-opinionated egos.

    • 311
      Madison Bumgarner says:

      They scrounged £398085 10s from the evil English to bail themselves out of the poor house after their great colonial adventure in central America (Darien).
      If we consider that a loan at a reasonable 5%, they could repay us the £1.155 trillion and then wander off into the glorious uplands of independence, free forever of the despised Sassenachs.
      I for one would be eternally grateful, if only not to have to listen to the incessant whine from the north.

      • 364
        Ipikin says:

        Good to find some-one else is old enough to remember this event! The actual figures are interesting and of course do not feature in Salmond’s rhetoric.

  19. 43
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Questions that SOMEONE in the media needs to ask Salmond

    Salmond wants the English nuclear subs out of Scotland, presumably he doesn’t want their replacements or any other English naval ships to be built in Scotland either?

    Salmond doesn’t want to pay towards the upkeep of English roads so he won’t object to a toll of Scottish vehicles entering England to pay for the use

    Salmond won’t object to those public sector jobs funded by the English to be returned back to England or better still just abolished

    Salmond will fund his own embassies around the world and won’t sponge off the English facilities

    Salmond won’t have use of the English pound, why the fuck should the stability of our currency be put as risk by the incompetence of the jocks? After all we’ve seen what Brown and Darling did to the English economy.

    Salmond will take his share of the national debt and will pay the English back for bailing out the failed jock banks

    Scotland will pay totally for its armed forces and not sponge off the English

    • 48
      nellnewman says:

      +1

      Bringing all naval bases into England will create jobs in England. That’s OK.

      • 55
        Tessa Tickles says:

        Is it too late to bring construction of England’s two new £6billion aircraft carriers to England, too?

        • 69
          Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          No the one eyed retard made sure it was Scottish jobs for English taxes and I can assure you that Salmond has already said he sees no reason WHY English ships shouldn’t be built in Scotland, the guy has a nerve. But the English just don’t get it, the media (Scots dominated) hide this from the English.

        • 177
          jgm2 says:

          I’ll be astonished if even the Maximum Imbecile was so blatant as to specify the exact location where the contractor (I think it’s Thales) build their big boats.

          Actually I wouldn’t.

          But it’s entirely possible he didn’t specify they be built in the constituency next door to the outgoing PM so I think the remainingg, much larger England, with it’s likely future order book might be able to bring some pressure to bear to complete the fucking things in England. Either that or just bung Thales (head office Paris) the 5bn quid and never do business with them again. Either way – the money won’t be spent in Fucking Scotland. They’ll have to tax the natives even more for all the ‘free’ stuff.

      • 78
        Jim says:

        Great Britain cannot be broken up to leave England and Scotland standing as we know them.
        Our history has created many people across the World who hate us both and are hoping we are this stupid.

        • 144
        • 167
          The Golem says:

          +1

        • 218
          jgm2 says:

          Indeed. There’s a reason Fucking Edinburgh has US, French, Russian, I*ri*sh and Chinese Embassies.

          Only.

          What possible historical or present-day geopolitical interests would those countries have to create a bit of ‘local difficulty’ with the neighbours eh? What statement could they possibly be making?

          Pointedly giving Edinburgh zoo two pandas is part of the same offensive.

          Alex doesn’t care though. Looking forward to much to his own jet as befits a head of state.

        • 249
          Tales of the Expected says:

          Re ‘..many peoples across the World who hate us both..’

          Who did you have in mind? Don’t count countries with political/ideological systems which have a natural antipathy towards the Western way of life.

    • 116
      GDS says:

      Nuclear Submarines are built in England at Barrow in Furness.

  20. 44
    nellnewman says:

    Hmmm. £millions saved by getting rid of pilgrims. £billions saved by letting scotland go independent. £millions saved by not having to pay scottish mp’s including gordy salaries, office costs, pensions and expenses.

    Sounds like a more than sensible plan.

    • 52
      Tessa Tickles says:

      And we’d probably be able to have double summertime, too.

      • 221
        Really? says:

        GPS has left the Greenwich meridian without global relevance. Everyone (apart from the Shipping Forecast) calls it either Zulu Time, or UTC. Double Summer Time has lots of names as well; CET, Berlin Time.

    • 60
      Scary Biscuits says:

      The biggest argument against Scottish independence is that whilst it is a bad deal for England on the surface (the Scots get disproportionate influence and money) it is probably better than living next door to a dangerous and bitter basket-case, like Israel does today.

      • 256
        Tales of the Expected says:

        +1

        And the SNP have a history of great sympathy to such basket cases. I’m confident that none of the scots side of my family would touch the slimy nyaff Salmond with a bargepole. Or anyone else’s for that matter.

  21. 56
    Ah! Monika says:

    Let ‘em Go
    Let ‘em Tarry
    Let ‘em Sink
    Or Let ‘em Swim

    • 319
      Ann Emmy Grey says:

      Bloody ‘ell, mate, you really are showing your age now with that little number! That was the very first song I ever learned in about 1945 or so. I doubt I have head it more than once (probably on Housewives’ Choice – remember that too?) in the past 55 years!

  22. 58
    NelsonsGoodeye says:

    Gonna invest in wheelbarrow manufacturing when all the wee scunners get independence. Someones gonna hafta tip all the sozzled Jocks back over the border!

  23. 62
    pissed off voter says:

    Westminster has served us well in recent times – Blair, Brown, Cameron, Clegg, Milliband, Iraq, economic collapse, political expenses scandal, cash for honours, cash for questions, etc. – and don’t forget the EU referenda, pledged, promised and guaranteed by each of the ‘main’ parties.

    • 88
      Mine's a deep fried Mars bar says:

      Spread the contagion to the other “Parliaments”. That’s all right then. Continue as normal camouflaged by scandals in the regions; only £400 million for a Spanish designed building for wee eck to sound off in. Trebles all round!

      • 94
        pissed off voter says:

        On the cotrary, we are cutting out the tumour.

      • 202
        Rob Roy says:

        Do you prefer your Mars bar fried inside or outside its wrapper?

        • 234
          Zatafact? says:

          Always leave the wrapper on – one needs fibre in the diet and the wrapper provides the necessary roughage. Surely this health benefit was obvious from the outset?

  24. 64
    Lord of the Manor says:

    Should restrict the independence vote to the English. Referendum question should be “do we want to carry on subsidising people north of the border?”

  25. 67
    Old Grumpy says:

    What a load of crap! The American Constitution is acknowledged by AMERICANS, to have been the initial work of an Englishman (who later defected to the revolutionaries)………. In fact they opened a museum to the guy in Lewes, a couple of years ago!

    As for the “didn’t want to join a Union” It was the silly SCOTS, who went bankrupt and had to ask for the Union, in order to get themselves out of the shit!

    I wonder how long it will be before history repeats itself…………

    • 90
      Neo-Guido says:

      Jefferson, Washington, Hamilton, Witherspoon, McKean etc.

      Scots.

      • 110
        Universal Hiss says:

        Thomas Paine. English troublemaker.

        • 117
          GDS says:

          He was also very involved in the French Revolution until the Froggies realised he was trouble and sought his head. He buggered of the America to cause more aggro.

      • 134
        Alizee the beast of paris says:

        Witherspoon gave us cheap beer
        Wonderful man

      • 363
        Robbie in Madrid says:

        I think you’ll find that Washington’s family came from Washington in County Durham which the last time I looked was well south of the Scotchland border. Check out the Washington family crest… the bottom part of the shield has red and white stripes whilst the upper part has pentipoint stars on a blue background. So, some fucking crossbreed Gordie-Mackam was not merely the Amerians’ greatest general of their war of independance and their first President, wor Geordis lad also kindly provided them with the design of their flag… goodbye George III, hello George I. More famous than Ant n’ Dek.

    • 121
      Universal Hiss says:

      It was all the foolish aristos & bankers(again!)wasn’t it?

      As usual the run of the mill people got the biggest kick in the teeth.

      History does indeed repeat itself. It all started in Americia?

      • 122
        Universal Hiss says:

        Bugger. Another wonderful post of mine awaiting moderation because of the lurking legume.

        Meh!

        • 131
          Tessa Tickles says:

          You mean ‘pea’?

          It’s a bugger that one. European. Appeal. Appealing. Rice and pea.

          It appears we can’t use any of them.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            How did you do that then?

            Slaps head.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            Shhh! The numbering’s gone. It appears they’re onto us!

            I’ll hide in the corner and pretend to be a lampstand, you duck behind the sofa.

          • Alizee the beast of paris says:

            Because our host is a thick onanist who is about as trustworthy with a puter as he is with a set of car keys and a bottle of wine

          • Alizee the beast of paris says:

            P s are off!

            unlike my hot tight butt

            Herre I am in Scotchland peeping in le aggis

          • genghiz the kahn says:

            Looks like Salmond’s core vote.

        • 161
          'A' levorl Inglish Stewdunt says:

          Try ‘Bean’ with helpful notes such as:

          my first in ‘P’ but not in B etc

  26. 73
    Superman says:

    Every time a Scot travels to England the average level of intelligence is raised in both countries. FACT.

  27. 81
    Well it's a thought says:

    Iam at a loss on how you can be “independant” in the EU?.

    • 89
      pissed off voter says:

      You could always write to DC and ask him.

      • 102
        Well it's a thought says:

        Nah, the crap you get back from those tossers, they must must have lawyers and the wide boys on standby making the crap up, I think you could get better getting an infinate amount of monkeys and desktops together and let them send you an email.

  28. 101
    B.Bob... says:

    Send the buggers back, they are crippling the health service :)

  29. 108
    Anonymous says:

    BBC approved facts say that the UK is a Trillion quid in debt, will the Jocks be taking a quarter of that with them?

    • 111
      Well it's a thought says:

      Shouldn’t they take it all, it was a Scotsman in charge, besides we were told by the Liebour party that the debts were an investment so let the Liebour party and all who voted Liebour pay.

    • 115
      Universal Hiss says:

      No because eck says it’s Westminster’s fault or possibly 8% of it but he want’s 8% of all UK’s gold reserves & 90% of the oil.

      Sounds reasonable.

      • 124
        Alizee the beast of paris says:

        The oil is gone as is the gold ( cheers McMental)
        all the skirt wearing , cant wait to jump into the grave wankers have left are simple shit eating bi valves and midges
        They can’t even produce Grouse anymore
        Fucking wall them in and make any one of the bastards that dares to live down here wear a St Andrews cross on his lapel as a target for any natural born Englishman
        Al Jockaeda
        Scum all of them

        • 135
          Universal Hiss says:

          I happen to live in Scotland but am not a native.

          However I’ll help you get your wish & vote for independence.

          Perhaps if you get your own English Parliament you can pass a law making Jock hunting legal.

      • 143
        nellnewman says:

        salmon wants 8% of the UK’s Gold reserves?!

        +++++Laugh+++++

        Y’Mean 8% of the what’s left given that the last scottish pm in charge sold most of it off at brown bottom?

  30. 112

    Romans had the right idea

  31. 120
    Only me ! says:

    why are the english alloud to produce scots eggs, when only the french are alloud to produce champainge

    • 130
      Alizee the beast of paris says:

      All Scotch eggs should ,like the place that they come from, be euthanised
      Just why do we want to have anything to do with such people?
      Dour, alcoholic twats who wouldn’t lend you a piece of used bog paper for free
      c unts

      • 174
        Rent-Boy Renton says:

        It’s SHITE being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We’re ruled by effete assholes. It’s a SHITE state of affairs to be in, and ALL the fresh air in the world won’t make any fucking difference!

        • 179
          Rent-Boy Renton says:

          And Scotch Eggs originated in London, by the way.

          • jgm2 says:

            And Scotch originated in Ireland. As did the Scots.

            And the Bank of Scotland was created by an Englishman.

            There is some symmetry though. Because England was ban*ru*pted by a Scotchman.

            As was Scotland.

          • The Paragnostic says:

            To be fair to the Scots, they did produce the excellent John Law, who bankrupted France.

            So they do deserve some credit ;-)

          • jgm2 says:

            Bank*ru*pc*y-wise there is an emergent theme.

  32. 133
    Teri says:

    Guido, move over and let NeoGuido do all the blogging on Scottish matters then. Scotland never did appeal to you in a positive way anyway.

    As for all the disgruntled English commenters. Why dont you consider doing what Scotland is doing and going for self determination for your country? It is unfair that you do not have your own parliament and there are Scottish and Northern Irish minisiters voting on English and Welsh matters that have nothing to do with them. Incidentally, much as you dislike the SNP, they never vote on English matters, only those that affect Scotland.

    My challenge to all unhappy English citizens is this: Set up your own nationalist party and campaign hard for a paliament of your own so that you are in charge of your own affairs. Taking it out on the Scots wont achieve anything for you. You have to act if you want change for your country, England.

  33. 139
    Time for England to leave the Union says:

    The union is like the Austro-Hungarian empire a hundred years ago – weak, old, tired, dis-united and only kept together by a shared respect of an aging monarch, Kaiser Franz-Joseph I in their case.

    Scottish independence could be the best thing to happen to the English for years, because it will force the issues of England out into the open, something the chattering/political classes are loathed to do.

    To that lot, England is a non-country, the English a non-people. Just look at their routine attempts to deny there is such as thing as a native English population for instance, something they don’t do with the Scottish or Welsh poeple.

    The SNP have shown the LibLabCons are a busted flush north of the border. Let’s hope the English can do the same south of the border.

    • 148
      Universal Hiss says:

      Quite.

      That’s why I held my nose & voted SNP for the first time in over 20 years of living here. It was that or spoil the ballot paper which I just couldn’t bring myself to do.

      However the SNP have provided surprisingly good governance in comparison to the Liar shower with their years of corruption & mismanagement. They have not frightened any horses.

      This will all change of course. Eck is going to frighten many Scots & wind up the English.

      We live in interesting times.

  34. 141
    Rob Roy says:

    It is ironic that a Conservative with a Scottish name should be about to hand us our freedom.

    Dave is playing an absolute blinder. let’s face it he wants Scotland out of it because of the old giant panda trick.

    His general demeanor and sanctimonious comments are going to lead to a yes vote.

    the average IQ of prospective Conservative candidates has been about 7 I suspect with this in mind.

    The English will have a lot to gain too when the pound buys 1.98 euros. they will be packing those yet to be seen trams in Princess Street for weekend shopping trips.

    A free Scotland could really lead somewhere.

    Bring it on.

    • 152
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “It is ironic that a Conservative with a Scottish name should be about to hand us our freedom.”

      Firstly, he’s not a Conservative by any stretch of the imagination, he’s a spendaholic big-state creep. Secondly, he has a Scottish name because he is actually Scottish. This explains, to a very large extent, why he’s shitting all over England.

      A lot like Tony Blair. Who would believe *he* came from bloody Edinburgh? “Why is this nice man with a Home Counties accent crapping all over England?,” asked the English in 1998. “Erm, because he’s a Scot.”

      • 185
        Universal Hiss says:

        What I don’t understand is why Labour want Darling to lead the charge for them in Scotland? He’s not as despised as some of them but he’s not much liked.

        I don’t suppose it will make much difference. We’ll all be sick of it & the turnout will be pathetic.

      • 207
        Rob Roy says:

        Have you ever seen Cameron in a kilt?

        You might tonight!

        As for Tony Blair I have always thought his wife looks as if she has just swallowed a kilt.

        • 213
          Thomas from Tonna says:

          Cameron is definitely a spendaholic. he spends my money on clearing wisteria from his chimney and paying off the mortgage on his second home even though he is loaded.

          I feel sorry for his wife being married to him but at least he has spent my money on a new kitchen for her.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            Don’t the Camorons have a foreign slave to do all their cooking for them? There was something in The Times today about it. They got their slave (sorry, “nanny”) from a charity that specialises in “liberating oppressed Indonesians” or something. So they own her now.

            Anyway, they gave their slave a car (an old Honda), but Camoron tried to park it and crashed into something. And then denied it. Although it was photographed.

            It’s true. It’s in the paper.

  35. 142
    Ed Balls says:

    They may take my Nokia, but they will never take my rocking horse!

    • 145
      Jonah not Blinky! says:

      For fuck’s sake, that was supposed to say Gordon Brown, not Ed Balls! Bloody mobile phone internet!

  36. 149
    nellnewman says:

    ‘Now, about the Monarchy…’

    Yes indeed! Therein lies alexsalmond’s real ambition. If he can get them to give up the monarchy he can run for president and his dream of a gravy train for life might be granted!!

    Then again if it comes to president you can bet others will be jumping on the bandwagon to try and get elected. Our very own gordy or foulkes or even bliar (let’s not forget he too is a scot).

    They’ve all got their eye on any main chance that’ll get them loads of cash for no effort.

  37. 153
    Home truth says:

    I`ve just wasted ten minutes of my life reading this crap.

    • 168
      not a machine says:

      how can you its er been moderated ? still at least you have maintained the same erudite level of response , so your keeping up .

    • 171
      Universal Hiss says:

      Well say something interesting then.

      Don’t you think it’s interesting what the southerners think?

      I find it really funny.

    • 171
      nellnewman says:

      Why? Did someone make you? Are you not disciplined enough to make yourself do what your brains wants to do?

      You’re not a scot by any chance are you?

    • 180
      tosspot watch says:

      Yeah, you’re right, you would have been better off having another couple of wanks over on Labourwrist.

    • 267
      Tales of the Expected says:

      Not to worry truther. You’ve likely not got much of one to waste anyway.

  38. 163
    not a machine says:

    Whilst some have declared Alec Salmond as the slickest political operator , he of course suffers from being able to articulate why the union has worked for such a long time and indeed progressed in its own right , to somthing of far more importance than anything the EU could offer , indeed he has been riding on the back of some union facilitated renewal for some time . The unions strength over the faux EU is that it has and does adapt in a way that brussels can never do in encapsulating an islands history , he claims 2016 will be a moment when scots can celebrate indpendence , I will wager that by 2016 the union will be the better option when considered . As for freedom , freedom from what exactly ? mmmm scotish people still deluded that EU is going to be better ?? dear oh dear bit of a fishermans tale on the one that has been seen by him but never no one else .

    Economic data perhaps didnt quite explain that retail held up for christmas and that it is manufacturing and building that is suffering from uncertainity and it is not as bad as it could have been at this some what long period in the trough as the causes of the excess are dealt with , a stall is being avoided and in my view the foundations being laid are important to provide a lon enough period of growth , to make the debt more doeable , which some eurozone countries are now struggling with as they delayed too long basic individual state deficet problems .
    The trouble i have with Labour is this subtle manover from defciet denial to incredulous admission they would keep the cuts (still at loss which mix they have named) and be trimming down the state , without mentioning that they too would have necistated keeping low interest rates and ergo a credable budget (of which they have done no such thing) to do all this . To put it bluntly labour have done little more than pleasured themselves with fantasies and delivered economic falcies to the public , “too far too fast” is based on what exactly ? mmm well the need for jobs/growth , but if you accept you would do the cuts (for a certain better ecnomic psoition) then how can you be going too far too fast if it is only 4% different ?? let alone going too far too fast without any credible budget to explain what the problem is , with the current plan A .
    I repeat agin Labour have never produced since the ruin departed a credible budget explaining there deficet reduction plan 50% in 4 years may have sounded nice but infaltion would have enshured the remaining 50% was yet another leech for another how many years ?? they never said , they just assumed that at end of 4 years things would be ermm you know , much better . Would they ? I think the first question is what is Ed basing his prediction of interest rates on , in this 4 years but by the end , we cannot go any lower , so how can he keep the interest rates without the cuts ?? The next things are perhaps to do with trade , true in 4 yrs time the world economy may be moving along a little better , but if as they would have done been the full debt whore and added the new EU debts , doesnt that give you an image of an economic plan that in 4 yrs time would be grinding the Uk economy to an inexorable death . Eds plan has nothing on damaging EU tobin transaction tax on the way citys ability to contribute to the current plan would be impaired .
    They also play the snake oil salesman in how remdies on debts work ,a 4% difference in cuts is sweet bugger all , when you are 40% overborroed on what is the accepted norm of running econimies at debt levels of 30% of GDP , i mean its not even a 4 year face saver , its actually a decade plus face saver packaged with a mid point assumption and fallicey that debts will still not be a cruel leash on everytax payer in the country , and under there plan an EU one .
    Where was the shadow budget ? that was to explain the long running term of rhetoric ?? “too false too feigned” , yet time and time agin they insert the catchy words , to play credible sentences when the public are suffering for what is only really what they left . I mean they admitt they have left a debt which is affecting us all , they havent got round to the what deficet was or is or that fact that they created a deficet requiring double digit impossible levels of growth to service it , mmm that missing growth figure from Eds plan , porkies , not even particluary clever ones at that .

    The one question that caught my eye at treasury questions was from Mr Bone , when he enquired what trade imbalances were with the EU , I choked on my pie and mash , I wonder if Mrs Bone felt quite faint ? hardly a word from the lib dems , or had they not realised in all there campiagns how long the one way street had been going on for ! fairness ? I think come next election I will be at the forefront of ramming that fact down there throats and the remanants of st tone as eluding to much of our current predicament ,let alone what similar figures may reveal about the true story of how the euro worked .

  39. 166
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Start rebuilding Hadrian’s Wall, lets have some progress like Salmond wants!

    Just leave a couple of holes in the wall for supplying the whisky and the remaining oil and then piss off!

    • 173
      nellnewman says:

      Irish Whisky is probably superior to that scottish stuff. So I am told.

      • 178
        Baron Hogwash says:

        One hole in wall only required then for the oil pipeline!

        • 187
          nellnewman says:

          Thought that oil was nearly all gone and that’s why they’re getting their nickers in a twist over iran and the straights of hormuz?

          • Baron Hogwash says:

            I woz told at skool (or was it blue peter) that it would run out in 20 years, that was in the 80s. Maggie kept some of it just in case the Russians turned nasty and there might some left. Hopefully by the time Salmond goes independent, the world will have given up oil and gone to hydrogen power.

        • 342
          Hunker Down says:

          The way they keep building houses darn sarf we’ll probably need a water pipe as well.

      • 190
        Universal Hiss says:

        Wash your mouth out at once Nell.

        That’s akin to starting a war on this lovely Scottish thread.

        • 196
          Baron Hogwash says:

          I must admit I enjoyed a bottle of Black Bottle recently (not all at once) and it was nice ….

      • 193
        not a machine says:

        tricky one that Nell , in my youth i did a great deal of intensive research :) to find out , I came to the conclusion that Mcallan 25yr was about the most indecribelable treat as for the irish ones I think I settled at aged Bushmills , but there is one that eludes me as it tatsed like canadian club and was a smooth as gyneth paltrows slippers , perhaps Gudio can place it

        • 204
          jgm2 says:

          Bushmills? Paint thinner – just like that fucking Scottish rubbish.

          The only acceptable Irish whiskey is Jameson. Because it doesn’t taste like whisky – as you say – it’s more Bourbon in flavour.

          • nellnewman says:

            best celebratory tipple is spanish brandy.

          • The Paragnostic says:

            Powers Gold Label (if you can find it) is delicious. Smooth as can be and made for sipping.

            For Scottish – Talisker every time. Not to many peoples’ taste I know, but I love that sea air flavour it has.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            I really hate Talisker. I think it’s really rough for a malt. My favourite is Tamnavulin but the distillery has been mothballed & it’s very hard(& expensive)to find.
            They say there is a malt for everyone’s taste. You just have to spend years searching for it.

            I agree Jamesons is the best orish.

          • jgm2 says:

            The worst whiskey or indeed whisky in the world hails from Ir*el*and too though.

            P A D D Y.

            I’ve made better whiskey by distilling petrol.

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            Distilling petrol’s not a good idea.

            For a start, it’s dearer than actual whisky.

            Not it’s not, is it? It’s cheaper. But it *is* dangerous to distillate it. Very.

            I have been drinking (Scottish) whisky since 17:38 this afternoon and my verdict is.. I will have to drink quite a lot more tonight before I give a verdict. It’s a difficult job, but someone’s got to do it.

      • 305
        joescotus says:

        no it certainly aint

      • 361
        Four-eyed English Genius says:

        Let’s really upset those of a Caledonian persuasion…….

        http://www.englishwhisky.co.uk/

  40. 170
    Dizzy Ringo says:

    I understood that the good burghers/bankers? of Edinburgh asked to join the Union as they had just made a lousy investment and were broke.

    Sounds familiar?

    • 176
      nellnewman says:

      Think they probably have the mentality and background for joining the euro then.

      • 195
        Universal Hiss says:

        Over my dead body. Even the dumbest of the dumb won’t fall for that one.

        Remember the Limpdems are a vanishing species in Scotland.

        Eck has said we will get a referendum on joining the euro if he wins the vote.
        He hasn’t paused to think if Europe wants Scotland.

        Keep the lawyers busy for years.

        Wonderful stuff.

  41. 199
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d like to ask out Ant and Dec.

  42. 201
    Gordon Brown says:

    Alizee looks bigoted. I don’t like her.

  43. 205
    nellnewman says:

    Just a thought. we don’t need to leave him with any nuclear warheads do we? because he might need to ebay them if his money gets tight.

    • 222
      Universal Hiss says:

      & another thought.

      It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

      Good old P. G.

  44. 216
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Get Israel in to build a ‘peace wall’ between England and Scotland. We need a bit of public spending in England.

    • 231
      Hadrian says:

      FFS! Where have you been? I did the wall years ago.

      • 238
        Universal Hiss says:

        but you put it in the wrong place,stupid!

        • 242
          jgm2 says:

          The Antonine Wall might be a better starting point from an English negotiation perspective..

          Somewhere between the two should work as a compromise.

    • 241
      jgm2 says:

      With 33bn quid I reckon we could build a big wall 22 miles long as far as France. Build a ten lane motorway on top of it and fit big tidal turbines the length of it and charge any ship a fucking fortune to go through a couple of big locks in the middle of it.

      33bn quid of infrastructure. Unlimited access to the continent, free power and a ready source of income from all those ships that would otherwise have to divert from Rotterdam over the top of Fucking Scotland.

      I commend it to the House.

      • 259
        Charles de Gaulle says:

        I zay Non!

      • 262
        Tessa Tickles says:

        Across the Channel? The tide would knock your wall over. Trust me.

        • 264
          jgm2 says:

          The tide would knock your wall over.

          Hence the big holes for the turbines. Free electricity, generating, for the use of.

          • Alizee the beast of paris says:

            We dont need X ray machines
            We NEED Garlic detecting machines
            That would keep them all out if we werent part of the EU
            If you do a little research you will find that most criminals consume garlic and smell of it, there is a whole continent full of them
            Just what is wrong with onions and mustard if you want bad breath?

            G** [ut 22 miles of sea between us an them for a reason (He has shares in P&O)

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            They’d need to be f*cking big holes.

            It’s a 23 mile wide channel, the tide differential at Brighton is 0.3m to about 8.5m, and that’s where the Channel is ~ 78miles wide. That’s a lot of water. A lot of energy. Try and shove that through a crappy turbine and it’s not going to last very long.

            Mind you, that wouldn’t stop Camoron funding it to the tune of £33bn.

          • Another Engineer says:

            Eh? Putting aside the volume of concrete needed to block the channel, an 8.2m head is nothing. It doesn’t matter how much water flows through now – once you’ve blocked it, you’ve only got the excess pressure of 8.2m of water.

            The French have a barrage on the Rance (and have done for years).

            The best way to use tidal energy in the Channel would be to have turbines on the sea bottom. Though there are probably better areas around the UK, such as the Pentland Firth.

      • 326
        Rob Roy says:

        have you not heard of Salmond’s plan for a Scottish and Lothian canal to be financed by the EU?

  45. 224
    Rob Roy says:

    Cameron has messed up again tonight.

    A prisoner has just escaped from jail in England using a gun.

    he is described as dangerous AND HAVING A SCOTTISH ACCENT!

    • 227
      Alizee the beast of paris says:

      We are all more worried about the Jockishness rather than the gun

    • 229
      Alizee the beast of paris says:

      The accent is worrying
      Fuck the gun
      Ear defenders all round untill this twat is captured

  46. 228
    Bye Bye Scotchland says:

    And of course Gordon will no longer be an MP and we can refuse to pay his pension and provide him with a protection squad.

    Fuck off U Jocks

  47. 232
    Freedom! says:

    I don’t hate the Scots. I think its noble of them to take the RBS and BoS debts. My estimation has gone up a lot.

  48. 236
    U must me Jocking says:

    Given that the previous two UK governments were run by Jocks ( Jock Brown and Jock Darling and before that Jock Blair and Jock Brown) I fail to see what Jock Salmond’s point is.

  49. 252
    HenryV says:

    If the Argentinians want Scotland they can have it. Those are my final words on all this rubbish.

  50. 257
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Another prisoner sprung from custody
    a prisoner who was stabbed(set up)
    was taken to hospital where a man with a gun sprung him
    just shows the contempt that criminals have for the system and
    that using untrained security guards doesn’t work

  51. 265
    jacky Treehorn says:

    Scotland did want to be in the relationship,in fact they begged to be in it after they cocked up their economy. (I notice a theme there)
    Scots do make me laugh,most of them have no idea about their own history.
    If they go,well good luck to them. But i think they should pay back the money that the English taxpayer spent to pay off their enormous debts,plus interest.

  52. 272
    Binqu says:

    ” Scots give America its magnificent constitution has never stopped.”

    Nuts. First, he’s confusing the US Constitution with their Declaration of Independence, which is said by tartan imbeciles to be inspired by the ‘Declaration’ of Arbroath (it owes nothing to it whatever). The DoI was mainly written by Jefferson (very anti-Scots and of no Scots ancestry), inspired by Locke (English fellow from Somerset) and its structure derived from Tom Paine’s (English fellow from Norfolk) pamphlet Common Sense.

    Second, the US Constitution’s principal architect was James Madison (Virginia aristo of English stock), though its main intellectual sources are again Locke (English), Bolingbroke (English), Blackstone (English) and, most of all, the British Constitution itself (albeit somewhat strained through the rationalising mind of Montesquieu). The presiding genius of the Convention was Washington himself (mainly English stock – no Scots blood).

    The only noteworthy Scottish input was by Edinburgh-born James Wilson and Alexander Hamilton (born in Bermuda to Scots/Swiss parents), but these were – despite the latter’s indisputable genius – very much lesser players.

    So much for the standards of an Edinburgh University education.

    • 276
      jgm2 says:

      Oooh? Facts?

      They won’t like that in Fucking Scotland.

      tartan imbeciles

      Do they come in any other fabric?

      • 287

        Awwww dont cry!! At least they still like the Inglish down in the Falklands, it`s just a pity nobody else likes you. Enjoy your loneliness….bye!!!

        • 292
          Alizee the beast of paris says:

          Turn the lights out before we do

        • 303
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Sorry, you’re not allowed to leave until you’ve bought your banks back off us.

          About £200billion in total. Cash.

          No, we don’t accept euros.

      • 288
        Alizee the beast of paris says:

        A real “kilt” is actualy a usesful bit of kit, sort of like a mans pashmina and sleeping bag all rolled into one
        The ones that the Haggis molestors wear is a skirt suited for nothing more than a good turking from another bloke

      • 298
        Big Eck says:

        Are you still fucking here? Your anti-Scottish rants are pathetic, juvenile, predictable and boring. Still, no show without Punch, eh?

  53. 277
    The Paragnostic says:

    I note that Jonah is on the list of attendees at the Davos forum this weekend.

    Cue avalanches, general chaos and the collapse of the Swiss Franc…

  54. 279
    On the plus side says:

    We’ve had two high profile escapes from the custody of her Majesty in the past two days however, on the plus side the Home Secretary had a fabulous photo shoot earlier in the week.

  55. 281

    Laurie Penny on Newsnight now – fuckwit or halfwit? You decide.

  56. 285
    Ha hah says:

    Watching Newsnight, I’m laughing out loud at Laurie Penny.

    She’s funny as fuck.

    • 317
      If You Read This Blog, You Might Actually Remember Pre-Decimal says:

      Forgive me, would that be Laurie (not even worth a) Farthing you’re referring to?

  57. 290
    Abdul Saleem says:

    I want £294,595 a years in house benefits! This is my countries, infidels! Give me my free money! Allahu cackbar! Praise our prophet who fuck the 9 year olds.

  58. 294
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

  59. 295
    Thatcher's Iron Stiletto says:

    Two subjects where mr guido talks out of his arse..

    the monarchy and the act of union.

  60. 301
    Passport Office Employee from Glasgow says:

    Jings and help ma Boab!

    The sassenachs wilnae want us tae make their passports anymer!

    It’ll no be a broad bricht moonlicht nicht fer salmon then, hen.

  61. 307
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    The Dalek has just been watching (and re-watching, over and over!) “NewsPropagandaPorn” on Beeb2, with Jeremiah Taxman, and this reincarnation, the Dalek, can tell you that the Dalek, yes, His Holiness the 14th Dalek Lama, is utterly butterly *gobsmacked* at the sheer VAGINAL front of Motormouth on Steroids, Louise Mensch (natch) …

    Talk about TAMPONS! – The Dalek has never, ever, *met* any vaginas quite like this in the old Brigitte…

    (As is “Bardo”… for the GCSE brigade…)

    The Dalek asks, politely – what the FUCK is going on???

    The Dalek thinks Ms Venus Fly Trap is a seriously misconceived 8-10 Great George Street propaganda tool, clad in leather, thongs, and k-y jelly wiped silks.

    The Dalek is not fooled.

    Let the Dalek explain:

    The Dalek thinks Ms Barbarella has made a complete VAGINA of herself tonight, but, then again, the Dalek has always thought Ms “Unmensch” was an arrogant nagging “chancer” (of course seized upon by Millbank for endless inane dribbling soundbites, ad infinitum) – of time of the month proportions!

    Bottom line is this!

    YES! The Dalek IS a human being (sort of), and therefore the Dalek WOULD do Mrs Mensch, right up the arse! Make no mistake!

    But, His Holiness the 14th Dalek Lama would mostly shove his “Llama” in Ms’s 100 mph gob, to shut the never-ending harpy up!

    A WIN-WIN situation for all, especially the Dalek!

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

  62. 310
    B1lly B0wd3n 1s th3 gr3at35t ump1r3 3v3r ! says:

    The Scots will vote to stay in the UK and then moan about it until the end of time as if we forced them to do it or something just like the time they bankrupted themselves and joined in the union the first time so we would bail them out.

  63. 315
    Trigger says:

    ”too many receive an education of “abysmal quality”. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16705691

    That the few that did fucked as well then..

  64. 318
    Lou Scannon says:

    If Ken Livingstone is just an older version of Ed Miliband does that make Ed an eftie ?

  65. 321
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Seal has gone to press with the reason for the marital break up with Heidi Klum – it seems he could not stop her Clubbing!

    • 322
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Yup, hence the facial scarring!!!

      • 324
        Alizee the beast of paris says:

        The divorce papers are signed sealed and delivered
        Klumsy of him to have got caught with his pants down
        must be a bit of a killer that

  66. 325
    Rob Roy says:

    And the first Governor of the Bank of Scotland will be Steven Hester!

  67. 327
    Anonymous says:

    Harry, your examples of great Scots flourished after the Act of Union, not before. Edinburgh became the capital of the northern enlightenment after the Union not before. Whilst we both agree that too much state and and the wrong kind of union activity have dragged competitiveness out of Scotland, the answer to that problem is not necessarily independent nationhood. Still, I’m all for Scottish Independece – after seven years living in Edinburgh I left with a calm disgust at the prevalent racism towards the English. I don’t think they’ll fare too well.

  68. 329
    albacore says:

    Well, the Jocks were instrumental in reducing England to a receptacle for all the world’s detritus.
    Seems only reasonable that they’d want to return home and pull up the drawbridge now that the project’s complete.

  69. 330
    MB. says:

    Gordon Brown is writing a new “bestseller”.

    The Scottish Sun

    “GORDON Brown is having another bash at writing a bestseller — after his dull debut BOMBED.

    The ex-PM says 2025: Shaping A New Future will draw on his “wealth of experience as a world leader”. ”

    http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4086644/Browns-Ripping-Yawns-Volume-2.html

  70. 333
    Brontosaurus says:

    A hand out culture and something for nothing utopia.

    This is no different from England

  71. 334
    Well it's a thought says:

    I see the BBC are creaming their collective knickers over the coalitions defeat last night, some innocents would call it democracy at work, being a cynical tw*t I just wonder who’s paying them to do it and what are they getting out out of it, after all these don’t do nothing for a people of the country but do things for their own ends.

  72. 341
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    What I’d like to see is more reason and sense, and less gut feeling and emotion – especially when its down to just hating the english. And wishful thinking like “We wouldn’t have let the banks go bust if we were in charge”.

    First one “freedom”. Scottish people have probably more freedom than anyone else in the world. OK anti-statists will say things about america, but they’re minor points really (and I’d probably trade them them for wierdly restrictive things that happen in the states)

  73. 344
    Brontosaurus says:

    It might sound a good idea for the English to say goodbye to their Scottish cousins. They are a drain on our country. The problem is that once the Scots are allowed to fester in their own Socialist controlled mess for a few years the whole economy will be fecked. A la Browne. (Feckwit!!!) We will then have even more whinging Scots pouring over the border looking for jobs and more handouts.
    We could solve this by the Scots going independent and England leaving the EU. Economic migrants from the fecked Scottish economy could then be told to feck off to Ireland, France etc.

  74. 345
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Number two: all this bollocks about the 1314. The Scottish won their “freeeedom” from a french king.

  75. 346
    Xavier Onassis says:

    Give them independence, round them all up and send them all back – translation for any Jocks who might be reading “Hoots mon! you’re nae wanted, gang hame – awa wi ye!”

    I want a vote on whether we should get rid of this sponging rabble!

  76. 348
    Screwed English Taxpayer. says:

    How many English constitencies have M.P. in the Scottish Parliament? Feck all.
    The whole whole expensive farce is down to that corrupt conniving cnut Bliar and his left wing sickofants. 1 billion pounds just for the fecking building

  77. 351
    Jeff Mansfield says:

    Scotland – yes you can keep the monarchy, you’re welcome to it, good riddance. They are descended from you lot anyway, via Berlin of course. Will you make Harry support Rangers and Willy Celtic?

  78. 353
    MB. says:

    Not seen this in the national press

    Published: 25/01/2012 12:35 – Updated: 26/01/2012 09:22

    “Fury at Ofcom proposal to allow Royal Mail to charge more for Highlands’ delivery

    Businesses and residents in the far north may be faced with additional first class mail costs if Ofcom’s proposals to limit the Universal Service Obligation to second class services only is given the green light. ”

    http://www.northern-times.co.uk/News/Fury-at-Ofcom-proposal-to-allow-Royal-Mail-to-charge-more-for-highlands-delivery-25012012.htm

  79. 354
    meme says:

    1) Scottish independence and an elected Head of State for Scotland.

    2) Welsh independence and an elected Head of State for Wales.

    3) English independence and an elected Head of State for England.

    Bye-bye hereditary principle. Welcome democracy!

    It has been rather a long time coming.

    Bliss will it be in that dawn to be alive!

    It can’t happen too soon.

    I look forward to the Palace of Westminster becoming a museum and a new English Parliament building in which all MPs can be seated comfortably rather than having to stand up or squat on the stairs during important debates. It is a silly place.

  80. 356
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    there is nothing wrong with these Scots.

    the problem is you fucking English.

    You are always causing trouble wherever you go.

    Take that arrogant tit Tinkerbell Cameron. he is always sticking his ugly nose in where it is not wanted.

    he flies off to Egypt and condescendingly says those Muslims can handle democracy and then he pisses off with a couple of signed arms contracts.

    The Scots are OK. they can stay in Europe. But you self satisfied smug arrogant English…. Why don’t you do us all a favour in Europe and fuck off.

  81. 362
    YouThievingEnglishGits says:

    £102 billion in block grant from Westminster to Scotland since 1980.
    £146 billion stolen from Scotland in Oil taxation since then.
    You owe us £44 billion.

  82. 365
    Madme Defarge says:

    Guido you mentioned the Monarchy – just what would happen to the Crown Estates – there’s extensive acreages of them in Scotland.


Seen Elsewhere

Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times
Another Spare Room Subsidy Cut Success | Harry Phibbs
Rich Now Have Less Leisure Than Poor | Economist
UKIP’s Immigration Policy Promotes Migrant Entrepreneurs | Breitbart
Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome
UKIPers Will Come Home in 2015 | Sun


new-advert
Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)


A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads