January 18th, 2012

Misery Index: New Year, New Fear

With inflation dipping less than unemployment is rising, we are all just a little bit more miserable than we were this time last year.

Despite it looking like we were getting happier before Christmas, today’s dire economic news, as well as some hefty public sector spending, has left us in the red and feeling blue. 

N.B. Stats bods can check Guido’s adding up here


  1. 1
    Ed Miliband MP says:

    I murdered David Cameron today comrades!


  2. 2
    Marmite says:

    Seluded tw*t.

  3. 3
    Marmite says:

    Deluded even!

  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    No Gordon = deep joy

  5. 5
    AC1 says:



    German Environment Minister Norbert Röttgen, one of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s leading officials, has declared climate protection the “new world order“.

    Heil grün!

  6. 6
    I R Ony says:

    This must get the OTT Guido – There’s no emergency, just a load of lazy chavs and fat ex-council non-jobbers.

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:


  8. 8
    Raving Loon says:

    So many stories running about how inflation is falling, forgetting to mention that the rate is still double the official target and if it stays this way the pound will lose almost half of its value over the next 15 years. AND!!!! the BOE is planning more QE (ie: printing money out of thin air). Whatever happened to sound money?

  9. 9
    Reasons to be Sad says:

    And Osborne has broken his promise and is going to give the IMF more.

    And Moldovian gypsies can claim an Englishman’s home while the Police just watch.

    And Chris Huhne is still free.

  10. 10
    Stinkfinger says:

    Anyone see that film ‘Sus’ on BBC1 last night?
    Police brutality,racial discrimination all subtly(lol) entwined with Thatcher on election night 1979.
    Everything but the kitchen sink from the General Belgrano was chucked in.

  11. 11
    Sophie says:

    A reason to be Cheerful

  12. 12
    Randall Kruger says:

    Sound money ? Gold coins have a good ring to them. Unfortunately Blinky and McMong gave them all away.

  13. 13
    Dave says:

    You sure did Ed, you’re simply the best.

  14. 14
    Stat Tractor says:

    Is 18.65 OK to drive, then?

  15. 15
    Loungelizard says:

    Screen, stage and tube, the left are hard at it distorting history and airbrushing the past thirteen years.

  16. 16
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    We always knew that Ed was ‘special’.

  17. 17
    Sally Silly Cow says:

    I like Gypos – Moldavian, Irish who cares, I’ll fuck em all!

  18. 18
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    So heres a thing. A VAT rise makes inflation go up, but when VAT has been up for a year, the effect goes missing, and inflation goes down.

    Rather like being happy because you had your nuts kicked and the pain has worn off.

  19. 19
    Maximus says:

    Another muppet scared shitless by plant food.

    When will they get it that there’s a much commoner atmospheric gas that causes warming and is very destructive of the environment, namely Hydroxic Acid – or if you find the whole notion of acid scary, Hydrogen Hydroxide?

  20. 20
    Maximus says:

    With the Department of Defense known to be tendering for sockpuppetry software, I wonder what price that https.

  21. 21
    Stinkfinger says:

    Did being the son of an old Boiler (Glenda Jackson) qualify Dan Hodges to be a GMB official?
    And did his mums role as a transport minister have anything to do with him getting a top PR job at TfL (transport for London)?
    We have a right to know.

  22. 22
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Oh Look, Ed – there are Faeries at the bottom of your garden.

  23. 23
    Well it's a thought says:

    The BBC are creaming their collective knickers ove unemplyment, they seem to have missed over the last 13 years that we are giving employment to the world and have quite forgotten about our own people, fck the BBC.

  24. 24
    The General Public says:

    I’m not miserable at all. In fact, I’m doing pretty well, thank you very much.

  25. 25
    Pundit Too says:

    Shadow housing minister Twig on BBC World at One stating the government policy on unemployment is not working. BBC failed to mention he won Portillo’s seat; was kicked out in 4 years and only after some time did the Labour Party find him a safe seat. You would think that the BBC presenter, the odious Caroline Quinn, would have asked him (and Jack man of Straw) what it is like being out of work?

  26. 26
    Gordon Brown says:

    I made you all happy.

  27. 27
    Rouseau says:

    Sometimes the government are so thoroughly useless and so clearly failing to live up to their side of any possible poltical theories I wonder that I don;t have one of those moments of madness and do something silly

  28. 28
    Perse O'Nally says:

    Yup, I’ve never been so happy as when I saw you leaving Number 10 with your beard.

  29. 29
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    DUEMA !

  30. 30
    Delayed gratification says:

    No you didn’t. One day you will. When I piss on your grave.

  31. 31
    Nurse Botha says:

    all happy’s anus has just about recovered, dear.

  32. 32
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Would you like a teddy bear, darling?

  33. 33
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

    My all-time favourite.

  34. 34
    Stat Tractor says:

    Is 18.65 alright to drive, then?

  35. 35
    annette curton says:

    I’ve got you with SUS, British, Bollocks Broadcasting Company.

  36. 36
    Grouchie says:

    some people do very well out of state benefits


    Maria Miller is the minister leading the abolition of DLA and placing disabled people into more hardship

    Disabled people are feeling pretty miserable today after Lord Fraud gained the majority he wanted in the HoL to continue to abuse disabled people. The man who as a millionaire still accepted his £300 winter fuel allowance. Similar to Cameron’s acceptance of DLA for his child. They don’t care now do they?

  37. 37
    Well it's a thought says:

    Only when you got kicked out, wonder how you feel now that you know after having the country’s most important job without getting voted in everbody hates your guts and would been even happier if you and your gang of warmongers end up in the world court in the Hague

  38. 38
    Monty says:

    Another one who didn’t learn the lessons of the last century. German governments should shut up and stop thinking about anything other than the price of lager and potatoes.

  39. 39
    Stat Tractor says:

    Here’s a statistic for you: fuck all people come here any more. I wonder why?

    *Waves to the moronic advertisers*

  40. 40
    The Central Presidium of the Pseudo-Socialist and Popularist Labour Party says:

    No you don’t.

  41. 41
    AC1 says:


  42. 42
    Bill OD says:

    Dead as a dodo.

  43. 43
    AC1 says:

    I rather favour the PV=NRT theory of atmospheric temperature.

  44. 44
    Di A(big)botty says:


    No divide and rule here thank you.

  45. 45
    One of Snow Whites Seven says:

    I’m Happy.

  46. 46
    AC1 says:

    You need other peoples money?

    Ask for charITy. Don’t rob by proxy.

  47. 47
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I always feel better after a good kick in the Balls.

  48. 48
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Falkland island have been blockaded by South American countries
    Now then Call me Dave How The Fuck you gonna defend them this time couple of rowing boats ? Better get them sheep farmers to start gathering rocks and pointy sticks !

  49. 49
    P.C. Filth says:

    Have they all been convicted for being DIC, sir? 18.65 is well over the limit. Over.

  50. 50
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    Guido, Full Marks for putting up the Misery Index.

    BUT you waited for Unemployment to rise today to keep your narrative coherent.

    The chart is about as bouncy as that shot from Channel 4s Shameless last night. Boom Boom.

  51. 51
    Another Engineer says:

    That’s a bit idealistic isn’t it… ;-)

  52. 52
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Nepotism, cronyism and patronage. We’ve cornered the market. Ask the Balls duet, the Kinnockio clan, the Benn dynasty, the Vazoline siblings and the Eagle sisters er, pair.

  53. 53
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    Blockades are not the problem. Blockades by foreign ships can be sunk by submarines.

    The real problem is doing Falklands II if Port Stanley was occupied.

  54. 54
    annette curton says:

    Surely you mean the Malvinas (Tweets Labour MP).

  55. 55
    The City of London says:

    We don’t want you to kill him silly.

    All we want you to do is make sure he finds 2.5million of us a job this side of Christma

  56. 56
    G. McBroon says:

    I am very happy. I have just done a big jobbie and am squeezing it in my hands like Play-Doh.

  57. 57
    Grouchie says:

    you really are stupid

  58. 58
    Loungelizard says:

    I think you’ll find that historically The Falklands are Scottish, perhaps Mr Salmond will let us know what his plans for the future of the islands are.

  59. 59
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Was it true that his ship posed ‘a real threat’ to the task force.

    Captain Hector Bonzo: “Yes, I agree with that statement. I think we posed a real threat… we never had any intention of going back to shore; we were only waiting for the right moment to act.”

    When will the leftist nutters realise that ARA General Belgrano was not on a sightseeing cruise to see The Port Stanley Illuminations. It was a fully armed warship not a liner.

  60. 60
    Marmite says:

    Got it in one AC1. I get a little sick and tired of people bleating on about needing benefits and how hard done to they are.

  61. 61
    Traitor! says:

  62. 62
    annette curton says:

    It has recently been released from war records that the Belgrano was in fact steaming towards the exclusion zone accompanied by a destroyer escort and other Argentinian Navy ships were steaming in an attempted pincer movement, this at the time when we had 5000 troops en route to the Falklands on requisitioned P and O cruise liners, what was the name of that dickhead Labour MP that kept jumping up in the House of Commons for months on about some supposed war crime?, obviously a Galtieri supporter but fail to see what is socialist about a Fascist Dictator.

  63. 63
    Steve Lloyd says:

    Just posted a link that was modded, why?

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Does this mean I can’t fart

  65. 65
    AC1 says:

    wow, that’s a powerful argument you made there. You really proved your point.

  66. 66
    AC1 says:

    I’m not airhead.

  67. 67
    ModBot says:

    Because we can’t afford the staff and, anyway, it amuses us, sir.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Tam Dial ? ( probably mis=spelt , Wiki down is a bugger )

  69. 69
    Rob Roy says:

    Give Scotland its freedom and everyone will be a lot happier.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Also on record saying ” I was a threat to the task force. I was a legitimate target “. Arguement. End. Of.

  71. 71
    I counted them all back in says:

    I heard at the time from a well-placed source that the Argie cyphers had been broken and we knew what the Belgrano had been ordered do as soon as its captain did. Interesting to see it confirmed after all this time.

  72. 72
    Perse O'Nally says:

    No argument from the English!

  73. 73
    A Mayan says:

    Haha, what we tell you ha? You no make no plans for 21st December, Si?

  74. 74
  75. 75
    South of the M4 says:

    You need to find an ‘S’ first.

  76. 76
    South of the M4 says:

    H-OH? Is that the stuff Santa breaths out?

  77. 77
    Raving Loon says:

    Worse still, they announced that they were going to do so. This might be called a “signal” to investors.

  78. 78

    Yes, i`d rather you did`nt.

  79. 79
    Recession Therapist says:

    We are in recession and it is yet to be made official. It is going to drive many people nuts. A market is created for recession therapists. :)

  80. 80
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Recession is 2 quarters of negative growth, so the economist quacks define.

    Even if last quarter was negative the current quarter has only just begun. So how would you know?

  81. 81
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    I see we were more miserable last January, so its progress of sorts on our way to happy land!

  82. 82
    tiktok says:

    Breaking news! 18.65 has been promoted to 19.05. Three cheers..

  83. 83
    tiktok says:

    Give England its independence and we’ll all be doing cartwheels down the corridor.

  84. 84
    tiktok says:

    Why didn’t you lot build a longer wall? Then you could have extended us a few more years. Typical bloody south Americans.

  85. 85
    aleksandr says:

    good job we didnt sink it when it was USS Pheonix!

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