January 18th, 2012

Blue on Blue

Which half-pint Tory minister has taken to texting congratulations to members of the press who write critical articles of his equally ambitious Secretary of State?

Though he’s no stranger to controversy himself, could the Minister be oiling the cogs for a promotion?

Thumb wars!


  1. 1
    well is it? says:

    Alan Duncan?


  2. 2
    jgm2 says:

    Incidentally, Kudos to Cameron for neatly side-stepping the trap set by Miliband about ‘changing course’. He was just begging for some quip about Italian Cruise ships so the bedwetters could then feign outrage about Cameron making a joke over a tragedy.


  3. 4
    GeeGee says:

    Bob Neill is pretty ambitious


  4. 6
    Gonk says:

    How tall is Nick Gibb


  5. 7
    pissed off voter says:

    Any points for this one?

    Aside, anyone else having a prob with the sidebar on this site?


  6. 9
    David Wisteria says:

    The Conservative Party……….. Party fit for arse lickers?

    You must be joking.


    • 10
      Rob Roy says:

      I thought it was a party full of dinosaurs myself with all that nonsense about keeping Scotland in the Union and keeping Falklands within the Empire.


      • 13
        NeverRed says:

        It’s a pity Scotland isn’t part of the Falklands, as far away from England as possible.


        • 34
          Another day another bigot says:

          Bigot alert = 44


          • jgm2 says:

            If campaigning for Scottish independence makes you a bigot then I’m sure Salmond is happy to be called a bigot.


          • misterned says:

            I really do not think that Alex Salmond really wants independence. he wants to look like he wants independence, then lose the vote and then blame the English for dirty tricks.

            If he really wanted independence, he would insist on a truly democratic referendum for the WHOLE of the UK to have a say on the future make-up of the UK.

            That way the English would be delighted to kick the Scottish into ex-dependence, self reliance and a socialist failed state status inside a decade.


        • 42
          Si Durrrr says:

          I was in France skiing when it all kicked off in April 1982 and, to be honest, I actually imagined The Falklands to be somewhere between The Orkneys and The Shetlands.
          Mind you, the puff was quite strong in those days. Bit of an anti-climax to find out it was just some shit-hole near Antarctica.


          • Islas Malvinas ...I don't think so Juan says:

            Understandable…there is a Falkland Palace in Fife hence the confusion.In fact the Falkland Islands was named after Lord Falkland by John Strong the British explorer who made the first landing on the island in 1690(so the Argies claims are rubbish as we claimed ‘em first)and named them after his financial backer



          • jgm2 says:

            Falkland Palace and the village of Falkland is actually quite nice. Olde Worlde buildings and suchlike.

            It reminds me of England. When its not raining.


        • 48
          True... says:


          Those who are not respectful can sod off.


        • 67
          M says:

          I’ve got the solution to Scotland , swap the populations
          Falkland islanders move up here with people they want to be with & the Scottish can have the falkland . And Then see how Argentina like living next door that lot


          • EC1 PhD says:

            Deep fried empanada Mars Bars (popular delicacy)
            Haggis y cheso (snack)
            Tossing the Chileno (popular sport)
            Tierra del Hadriano (tourist landmark)


      • 59
        AC1 says:

        More a sign that the current marxist in charge of Argenitalia has run out of other peoples money and is trying the usual sabre rattling.


        • 79
          jgm2 says:

          Oh? I thought they’d ‘fixed’ their last episode of running out of other people’s money by stealing all private pensions.

          You mean they’ve blown all the pension money too now?

          It’s like looking at an eternal Labour Imbecility.


  7. 11
    Captain Shittino says:

    I’m Captain In Deep Shittino. I left my ship as passengers were drowning and hailed myself a cab home.


  8. 12
    Sophie says:

    Cameron & Osbourne – duplicity incarnate.

    “No British taxpayers money for the Euro bailout”

    “The British Government strongly supports increasing our IMF contributions”

    The pro EU Cameron regime has got to go – can we even call them Conservative?

    Vote UKIP


    • 14
      Dan says:

      If you want to deport Abu Qatada vote UKIP.


      • 18
        Anon says:



      • 19
        Phil says:

        If you want to support Liebour see a shrink


        • 57
          Fish says:

          If you want to see Labour back in power, vote UKIP


          • Sophie says:

            Best vote for an impossible cure than the same old ConLibLab disease.


          • jgm2 says:

            That’s what they used to try and frighten people with in Fucking Scotland. A vote for the S&P is a vote for Labour/Tories.

            Look at them now. One foot out of the door.

            Same with UKIP. Yeah, sure, they might have cost Cameron a majority in 2010 – but whose fault is that? UKIP? UKIP voters? Or Cameron for failing to guarantee an in/out vote.

            In another few years it might be UKIP lording it over the T*ries and Labour just as Salmond is strutting about all over the shop in Fucking Scotland. As long as folk aren’t actively voting for the wicked and malicious party I don’t see what the problem is with folk voting UKIP or S&P or anything else. The key thing is to keep thge party of all the imbeciles away from power.


          • misterned says:

            Completely agree Sophie and jgm2.

            If the tories really want to win the next election, all they have to do is give us the binding EU membership referendum.

            IF and when they do not, then it is the tory leadership who would be responsible for throwing a victory away and handing the government over to another bunch of politically correct, pro EU, pro massive immigration corporatist third wayers! Much difference from what we have now?

            UKIP offer independence, Swiss style referenda based democracy, Massively simplified tax system so that the likes of VODAFONE would actually KNOW how much tax they owe so that they could actually pay it! A flat rate of income tax. Controlled immigration. An end to politically correct based division and oppression. A return to high standards in schools, free education at point of use for all, meaningful degrees, a return to proper law and order after scrapping our abused human rights act and instead a common sense bill of rights which will allow proper punishments and deterrents for criminals. A vibrant, dynamic and entrepreneurial economy where we can compete globally unhindered by Brussels. A realistic and empirical evidence based approach to climate and climate change. NOT the model based alarmism which is increasingly being proven to be class A Bullshit!

            That is why I will be voting UKUP, regardless if they have a chance of winning, or whether I would be the ONLY person voting for them. This time, I will vote FOR the policies I want to see implemented. I cannot do that if I vote tory, labour or Liberal.


    • 35
      The Golem says:

      Once France got control of the IMF piggy bank, it became a fig-leaf for Dave and George
      to send yet more millions across the Channel. I’m not surprised the general election has been notionally fixed for 2015, these people do not work for us.


    • 54
      The UK Independence Party.. says:


      If it stands for countries standing on their own 2 feet… Then it is a good thing.


  9. 20
    Smackheads all says:

    Coming back from another recent EC summit in Rome, various European leaders were forced to take the train due to a strike by Swiss ATC controllers; sitting together in the same compartment, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were Sarkozy, Cameron, Merkel and the young and very attractive female Irish foreign minister.

    The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a kiss followed by a loud slap.

    When the train emerges from the tunnel, Sarkozy has a bright red, hand print on his cheek. No one speaks, everyone is extremely shocked and embarrassed.

    Angela Merkel thinks: Sarkozy, not able to help himself, must have kissed the Irish girl in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

    The Irish girl thinks: Sarkozy, not able to help himself, must have tried to kiss me in the dark, but missed and kissed Merkel and she slapped his cheek.

    Sarkozy thinks: Why me ? That perfidious Cameron must have groped the Irish girl in the dark knowing that I’d get the blame for it and she slapped me…the English bastard.

    and Cameron thinks: I can’t wait for another tunnel, just so I can kiss the back of my hand again and smack that little French sod another time.


  10. 22
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Occupy London Protes. Too much time, too far the protest, too much shit. Get a job you lazy fuckwits, or if you can’t get a job do some charity work. Oh and get a wash!


  11. 23

    Maybe it’s my friend Ed Miliband. He should be in for a promotion some time soon.


  12. 26
    I don't need no doctor says:

    When Gordon Brown attends parliament does he uses the Strangers Restaurant?


  13. 27
    Dumb and Dumber 2 says:

    Anyone just see the hilarious speech by one of the Occupy protesters about the court ruling permitting eviction? Couldn’t they get a better representative? To say she sounds dim is an understatement. And apparently one of them compared their protest to that in Syria. Because of course the police have been randomly shooting dead Occupy protesters or torturing them.


  14. 28
    Anonymous says:

    O’Neil/Shapps, got to be.


  15. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    Bath time is my favourite time. I play with my rubber duck.


    • 44
      Sarah Twit says:

      What happened to that Turkey Baster you used to squirt water with?


    • 50
      Nurse Botha says:

      Yes, you do, dear. And just how many times have we had to call 999 to get your “rubber duck” extracated from the overflow?


  16. 36
    tube_thumper says:

    occupy london have lost tp the corp of london good

    i got beaten up down there protesting again those scum, Did you see the spokesthing. ugly (i think it was a female) and a speech defect

    I would ask you to email them and give them what for



  17. 39
    Ed Miliband says:

    My brother David has sent me a gift. A ticket for a cruise on Costa Concordia.


  18. 41
    Joss Taskin says:

    Have been playing Red Ken’s advert all day now ( sound set to mute ).

    Will I wear it out or is it best to keep replaying ??


    • 61
      Joss Taskin says:

      You are a Labour MP and i claim my £ 5.


      • 94
        Rob Roy says:

        it is a little known fact that if you bounce a cheque in certain European countries your account is permanently closed and you are barred from holding or opening any others.

        Dave in his eagerness to protect and improve the City of London will I understand be releasing draft details of enabling legislation in the very near future.

        If Terry Blair had had such vision and foresight years ago Scotland would be safe today.


  19. 52
    Ed Sings says:

    A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
    The medicine go down-wown
    The medicine go down
    Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
    In a most delightful way


  20. 56
    Vazeline says:

    No one has as much oil as me!


  21. 64
    Newp Aught Biggob says:

    Could it be that bearded, scruffy dinosaur lover, Paul Flynn?


  22. 66
    I print own businesscards says:

    All Ministers are doing such excellent jobs.

    therefore there is no place for any up and coming whippersnappers no matter how talented they may be.


  23. 68
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will return and save you.


  24. 72
    albacore says:

    My name is Dave and I’m ever so blue
    At least, that’s what we keep on telling you
    And if you believe it, you’d believe owt
    We do Tory here only when you vote


  25. 86
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Which half-pint Tory minister has taken to texting congratulations to members of the press who write critical articles of his equally ambitious Secretary of State?

    Though he’s no stranger to controversy himself, could the Minister be oiling the cogs for a promotion?



  26. 93
    Hypocracy UK says:

    mark harper and his team are c’unts – is it him?


  27. 101
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    September 2011 – Miliband attacks ‘predatory capitalism’.

    January 2012 – Cameron sets out his vision for a ‘moral capitalism’.

    Better late than never, eh Dave?


  28. 104
    Spindizzy says:

    The first time I read this joke it was about wartime France and starred agirl, a resistance man, a priest and a German officer!


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