Friday Caption Contest (Always On My Mind Edition)
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messier | Dan Hodges
We Should Honour Victims | Bob Blackman
Bad Al Campbell Spinning for Portland | PR Week
HuffPo’s House Jihadi | Washington Free Beacon
Osborne Gets His Soundbite | Nick Robinson
Moonbat versus Chomsky | Charles Crawford
Beecroft is “S**t” | LibDem MP
News of the World Trailed Watson’s Mistaken Mistress | Indy
Shabana Mahmood MP Saves Brum Market | ITV News
Plan a Velvet Divorce for the €uro | Gideon Rachman
Truth About Romney’s Bain “Vampire Capitalism” | Wall Street Journal
Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC
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Iran’s military chief-of-staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi…
“The Iranian nation is standing for its cause and that is the full annihilation of Israel”.
The last Quango in Paris says:
Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.
“Had her, Had her, had her , had her , not had her”
ha
The shop manageress has a grin on her face too…
either she has clocked what he is up to – else he has serviced her too
An inverted pyramid of porn…
I’m out of the Top shelf.
Boris wonders why Chris’s Bryant’s picture is on the top shelf
Boris spots naked man photographed running down street
“But I thought Osborne gave more money to the EU bailout , I guess everyone has a weekend hobby”
Billy came in his pants on reading the comment from Neo-Guido
Boris is just looking in the direction of his erection.
Bollis seeks reerrection.
Had her!
You got that wrong mate.
I know for a fact, that’s the shelf you find the Beano, Dandy and the other comics.
Boris looks smugly at the top shelf happy in the knowledge Bercow will never be able to reach them.
brilliant smug short arsed git – to think he used to be so sound
I always like to look on the top shelf.
One day i,ll be up there at the top.
You could add, ” always look at what the plebs look at , they are not like my top class totty”
Where’s Viz?
Boris looks for this month’s issue of Build Your Own Airport part work magazine.
“If only I had longer arms.”
Ante eius ascipiunt.
aspiciunt?
Sorry, I was distracted there for a minute
A white man thinking about divididing and ruling.
Her thighs I presume.
Can I claim this on Expenses?
Hmmmm! If it was good enough for Silvio, it’s good enough for me!
“Only place you wont see Labour women, on the top shelf”
Yes, we’ll have to doo something about thee-at, Londons a young City Why hide Young tottie out of reach of the youngsters!!
Boris Johnson caught hiding a copy of The Spectator inside Whiplash Monthly.
I mustn’t look, I mustn’t look, I mustn’t look. Oooh!
Cashier: You again, it’s not a bleedin library!
“I say, do you have a step ladder…?”
“All those Tits up there and not one sign of the two Eds”
If i squint just right that one looks like Harriet Harman, i’ll have to call her and tell her
Phwooaar! Bicycle Maintenance Monthly
“Ah, that appears to be the only shelf which doesn’t mention Socttish Independence”
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/determined-boris-stretches-his-lead-to-11-points-in-latest-yougov-poll/
Boris lead stretches to 11 points. Un-believable.
Get in there!
It’s all tit’s up for Boris
Can I put those magazines on expenses as “research”?
Hang on a sec, that’s my WIFE!!
Which one?
The one with the wedding tackle!
Can’t wait for Kens 20% fares reduction to ride some of these
Boris catches a glimpse of Ken’s manifesto..
Or:
Yripes, I see I’ve made the cover of ‘Blondes have more fun’ again..
Is that the woman with two vaginas I heard was on This Morning the other day? I tuned in expecting to see Harriet Harman with Ed Milliband and Ed Balls
Have you got the copy of Readers Wives with “Margaret from Grantham” in it?
If ever there was a woman with two vaginas it was Margaret Thatcher with Baron Howard of Lympne (Michael Howard) and that super vagina William Hague
Last time I saw so many c u n t s I was looking across at the Labour front bench
ha
I think you will find they can’t show that on the front cover
Wrong
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/26/article-2041980-0BB4133A000005DC-490_468x326.jpg
Who is the gormless one in the front, with his jacket collar askew?
dont look at the poll results just dont look at them
“Lummeee, lawks, cripes! What have you done to The Lady now Rachel?”
I was looking for Mayfair
This is Peckham mate!
Wouldn’t mind having a look at her Private Eye.
Aaaah. That’s the gay mag that Iain Dale was in
Wowsers Harriet Hormone doing her day Job, I do love Menopausal Women, so unpredictable.
Life and the Government would be Boring without them…
“Thats my erection stratergy sorted”
What the feckin hell is Boris’s Boobs, and why is it on the top shelf.
“So that’s what she does in her spare time…”
Good Lord is that Mensch?
“Hmm, not as pert and firm as that young Mensch’s…”
Blistering barnacles – where can i find Modern Cyclist ?
Not a caption but it does surprise me the amount of dirty mags available in most newsagents – I never see anyone buying them and wander just what the circulation is. Presumably with all the free porn on the internet (or so I’ve heard) they will at some point start to struggle
Yeah- but fapping over your computer can be quite hazardous.
…Thud…
Now you tell me!
What a shocking thing to say, D.
“Hmmmm, Maybe Diane Abbott should stick to being racist….”
Err! I feel sick!
That cured my constipation.
“Hmmm. British Boobs, Chinese Chicks but where’s Black Busters?”
brilliant !
‘I’m getting them for John Bercow who can’t reach’
That Olympic Logo gets everywhere doesn’t it.
Disgusting. Sorry Madam, I’m going to have to confiscate all of these.
Christ, look at the funbags on that! I wonder how she’d feel about being Miss 2012?
If you’re’ looking for something containing ‘the ruby lips, the flashing eyes, the pineapple hair, the pale skin transpiring at every pore with the fire of pure certainty’…. I think you’ll have more luck in the gardening or knitting sections!
Top shelf magazines, full of tory totty
Anything for the weekend Sir?
Am still shaking off the hangover – more comments soon
You an me botha, dear.
Stockings, Corsets, Blondes, Asians, Nurses, Black Busters, but wait no Red Eds
Thinks: “Latest issue of Cameron’s Cuties not out yet”
That reminds me. Where did I park my bike?
hahaha
” Thank goodness, I still haven’t made the front pages !!”
After Ken’s landslide re-election, a distraught Boris Johnson is reported to be considering a radical career change
Shop assistant: “Excuse me sir, the confectionary section is on the other side of the room”
He’s saying “More honesty in a shelf of porn than in Livingstone’s election campaign”
How’s the pension coming on Boris ?,
as far as i can see this is exactly why you’re here at all !!.
Crikey! is that Ed Balls ? Oh no, it’s just some other Hunt.
Cant find ‘Big Johnson’
‘it’s not the size of the ship,it’s the motion of the ocean’,
(read what you will !)
‘ her boobs weren’t that big a week ago; that picture has definitely been photoshoped’
I wonder if they still wrap them up in brown paper.
I hope the mask didn’t slip when I was having my ‘Ned’ moment!
Maybe Berlusconi was onto something…
Yea him & ‘bent cock’ Clinton !.
“No, really, I read them for the articles…Yeah, that’s right, for the articles, sure, that’s what I do, yeah…
“Well, anyway, that’s my story, and I’m gonna stick to it, see?”
Blimey madam, you’re certainly well stacked…I mean stocked.
If I could stand on Ken’s shoulders I could reach the top shelf!!
Perfect ! newts on the bottom (but he is getting
treatment) big tits on top, great for (well) a big tit !.
The erection campaign goes on…
What’s the difference between an egg & a wank ?
you can beat an egg !
“That Bercow woman will do anything for attention”
AAH Sally the only thing that spoils the
immaculate couture is that small pocket
where she keeps the ‘pet’ speaker.
Living within the palace do you get ALL the food & drink subsidies ??
GET YER TITS OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bet she ‘aint seen the knees for a while !
She’s not alone, I seem to have developed a post-Christmas beer belly too. Unless you meant something else, in which case I won’t ask how much you imagine her knees see of each other.
Yes meester Boris, turd burgler is to the left,you want it
gift wrapped ? no no the esteemed & heavy spending
Mr Mandelsohn already has that on prescription.
Ecce uberibus!
HA HA cheese & wine tonight DUH, Jesus Christ look away woman !!.
And here’s another politician who thinks women deserve to have a higher profile.
Boris ponders the wonder that is porn, wondering what it was exactly that old “green teeth” Mellor had against it for his public face whilst screwing the pants off anything that could stand his breath, in private!
Shopkeeper to Boris:-
“You won’t find ‘The Beano’ up there, Mr Johnson”
Hmmm, Jugs and a Jar me thinks….
Boris realises that the placing for his campaign materials wasn’t quite right for attracting the Women’s Lib vote….
Hey Meester Boris, you asked for Nutts,
They are over here next to the crisps
I just knew I would find somewhere to park my bike.
Come shit on my face and tell me that you love me.
In between truffling for real pussy, Boris takes time out to keep his pocket billiards up to scratch.
Olympic beach volleyball players? Sorry, did I mention the Olympics again?
I think he was looking for the Eagle Sisters.
Who needs that when there’s the Spectator?
I’d buy one, but the last time I did I couldn’t sit properly on my saddle.
Who’s next for my Johnson
Ahh…Boris’s Bikes
Don’t talk to me about bendy boobs……..I mean buses.
Boris reaps the the benefits of leaning to the right…
Jackass looking to Jackoff
Boris facing the election with an erection
Err im looking for a posh boxing magazine
I think it’s called Knock One out !
( shop keeper ) We have cold ones in the Fridge!
The Sun, the Mirror,& the Mail,…. ah yes.. “and while I’m here…. Ill take something to read”
You lot are so funny! Paul Merton would be proud.
She’s got a lovely top shelf !