January 12th, 2012

Peace and Harman-y

As Westminster gets back into gear and the first drinks parties of the year spill out onto pavements, it’s amazing who you bump into on the Embankment. Former stand-up comedienne Ayesha Hazarika and her new/old boss Harriet Harman weren’t very happy with Guido’s pre-Christmas report on Ayesha’s move out of Ed’s office and back to Harman’s. Ayesha made specific denials of allegations not even made…

Blog reader Harriet couldn’t seem to bring herself to fully engage, choosing instead to lob words in from the sneering sideline, without direct eye contact. “Poison” she declared. “Lies” she hissed. How ungrateful, not even a word of thanks for all our hard work with DUEMA

Ayesha wanted Guido to know that she was still very much involved with Ed’s PMQs prep, and had even contributed jokes yesterday, not something you would have thought you would want to boast about on your CV. Alas the only place you can actually read her jokes is on Paul Waugh’s blog, as they didn’t quite make the cut for Hansard…


  1. 1
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Guido has upset the Harperson. Who would have believed it?


    • 3
      Harridan Harmanhater says:

      He’s a man. I hate them all.


      • 7
        RBS we shag anything says:

        Harman the un-thinking man’s crumpet


        • 11
          Hang The Bastards says:

          Harman is an old hag, well passed her sell by date. No fucker listens to a word she says.

          she is the English equivalent of Comical Ali.

          No politician has ever managed to sustain a constant spouting of chite as that old windbag.

          Her and her all female Husband Jack represent all that is wrong with the British Political system.

          oh and don’t get me started on that horrendous Giraffe Outfit she always wears. I bet it stinks of piss.


        • 17
          Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

          This incident just reinforces the public view that the current Labour leadership will say anything and do much worse to discredit their opponents and get themselves back in power. This need not necessarily be in the interests of their core supporters or the rest of the electorate.

          Look at this list – http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html – and see if you can spot any of Mrs. Dromey’s redeeming qualities?


          • Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

            That’s a Liebour politician’s job description.


          • Fish says:

            Which reminds me. Has anyone seen Gordon?


          • Peter Cook, watching with continued despair says:

            The Socialist Elite – Twenty First Century Socialism – A very rich seam indeed

            The Kinnockio Dynasty
            Jack & Harriet Lonely Hearts Club Band
            The Blair Empire
            The Brother Grimiband
            The Bruvvers Unison
            Cooper-Balls Flipper Club
            Stark Staring & Hilary Bonkers of Holland Park
            Wee Wee Dougie & Wendy

            (That’s enough rich socialists, Ed)


          • Deep Froat says:

            Read that link. My god ‘Malignant personality’? All thats missing is the phrase …see Gordon Brown and a picture of the Hunt.

            So much resonance…..with most politicians in fact but especially Brown? The irony meter went off the ferkin scale!


          • Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

            He is guest of honour, pouring the concrete at a finishing off ceremony for the new car park at the Fife Courier in Hunter Street, Kirkcaldy new car park.

            In other news, Police are said to be increasingly concerned for the whereabouts of Fife Council’s Tory Group Leader, David Dempsey who has not been seen since giving an interview last Friday


    • 8
      Free Marketeer says:

      Given her aristocratic provenance it’s distressing to hear that Hattie was so rude.

      Perhaps she is upset as she is jealous that the Labour Party is led by a spoilt little rich kid and yet it is not her?


      • 15
        Well it's a thought says:

        Hell would have to freeze over before that spiteful cow got to be leader of the Liebour party, oh hell I forgot Browns hite , another loser in charge just great.


      • 31
        harman munster says:

        “Our new leader is intelligent, courageous and has a good heart,” she said. “We will all be united in support of him. And I have no doubt he will be a great party leader.” [Guardian]
        Nobody, but nobody can tell em like Harriot.


        • 87
          Bird with small brain says:

          A crib from the Wizard of Oz, no less! Tin man, the lion and the scarecrow all rolledf into one, arm in arm with Dorothy and following the yellow brick road….


      • 69
        Deep Froat says:

        Not only is she rude, but fucking ugly and stupid and an avaricious hypocrite as well.
        Great combination Hattie. You remind me of Cherie ….


  2. 2
    Sres says:

    She provided jokes? what did she do, drive Ed to Parliament?


  3. 4
    Sophie says:


    Tory EU lickspittles kissing the EU’s arse again.

    Another £10 billion from British taxpayers to prop up the ponzi scheme called the Euro.

    Vote UKIP – the Conservative resistance in the UK.

    Cameron & Osbourne – just join the feffing Lib Dems you utter cowards.


    • 14
      misterned says:

      I think that UKIP face a big problem insofar as Ed Miliband is so utterly, totally and inexorably useless, incompetent, inept, idiotic, foolish, foolhardy, pathetic, and dangerously shit that he is scaring UKIP supporters back to the tories.

      The size of distinction between Miliband and Cameron in terms of ability is now so vast, that we cannot argue that one is equally as bad as the other anymore.

      Yes I agree that Cameron and Osborne are traitorous sell-outs to the EU, just like the labour and liberal democrat parties and in that sense they are all the same, and Cameron is a terrible PM, but the growing perception now is that Miliband would not be merely shit smearingly awful, like Brown and Blair, but would be so totally and completely catastrophically disastrous that we cannot even begin to allow the merest consideration of him winning from crossing our minds.

      If you had a scale of competence running from the bloody awful, incompetent fuckwitted Brown at one end at -10 and a vision of competent perfect leader at the other end at 10. Then Cameron would sit at about -5 Brown at -10, I would put Nigel farage at about 2 and Ron Paul at about 7.

      Ed Miliband would require an extension to the minus end to reach -50!


    • 30
      Sandra says:

      +1. FFS!


  4. 5

    Golden Showers – Piss on Harman.


  5. 6
    Rh- says:

    Harman really is the wicked witch of the east. Someone pour a bucket of water on her – see if she melts. If not, we still get a laugh.


  6. 9
    Stinkfinger says:

    With classic lines like ‘Kremlinology’ Ayesha must be a hoot at parties.


  7. 10

    ““Poison” she declared. “Lies”, she hissed.”

    That’s her entire repertoire, isn’t it?


    • 13
      Sick of the greed and lies says:

      I thought the Pantomime season was over for another year? “Boo Hiss”!!! Late for last year or early for this year?


  8. 12
    Well it's a thought says:

    So politicians are still able to tell lies and belive that they are honest and truthful because the words they speak are just that, someone elses words, what a get out.

    As far a Harmmen is concerned, what goes around comes around, she’s just a hateful cow so is mrs Dromy or whatever his name is.


  9. 16
    MB. says:

    Alex Salmond is one of the nominations for Scot of the Year. Vote for one of the other contenders here



    • 24
      Sandra says:

      Unbelievable – a Scottish charity for “Scots in London”.

      Is that not discrimination?

      Hopefully Mr Salmond will win his referendum then we can deport the whole jock junta North – as well as clear out the civil service & education departments & the BBC of all those socialist anti English interlopers.

      Freedom for Scotland!


    • 25
      Well it's a thought says:

      Salmond I hate as much as mad hattie both are hateful people and I wish Scotland would go and split up from us ,they then can remember their past in peace without them whinging about what the hateful English did to them 300hundred years or more ago.


      • 114

        No, we`re going to stick around, just to wind you up even more.


        • 126
          Sophie says:

          I think the £11 billion shortfall in what Scotland spends to what it contributes to the UK will be the clincher.

          I understand that representatives from Shetland are going to visit Norway soon.

          Long live Alex Salmond – & the very best of British luck to you sir.


    • 121
      Jock Roach says:


      Amy Pond is acceptable.


  10. 19
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    Children sent to private school, husband nominated for a safe Midlands seat from an all female short list – this woman is beyond hypocrisy.

    In other words a thoroughly modern politician


  11. 21
    Cell time says:

    BBC ‘Comedy’ programmes are quite invidious. All the results of Labour fuck ups are regularly derided without attributing fault, followed by a questionably libellous comment linking the Urban Myth of the Conservatives in the 1980’s with the coalition, to much cheering.
    It covers all of R4, including the Radio4 Extra repeats going back to the early 1980’s, but never back to the depression of the last labour government, HIGNFY and Mock the Week are as bad, repeated hourly on Dave. Drip drip drip.
    The BBC (& I don’t mean Abbott) needs sorting to rid us of this foul socialism.
    Dave needs to start sorting this priority or Labour, with a different Dave, might squeak in.


    • 52
      Doris says:

      It’s all drivel and remarkable only for it’s lack of humour. Have I Got News is still just about bearable.


    • 68
      A bear, sighing, says:

      I shit in the woods.


    • 90
      Thinking of Upping Sticks says:

      I have stopped listening to radio four for those reasons. It is sad because the station used to be one of the few grown-up things about the UK which made me think that the country was not totally ruined.

      Now I just listen to stuff from the internet, which makes me realise I could probably live happily anywhere else. When I go we will be moving the company’s operations. It provides part-time work here in the UK to about 20 people a month, but in truth most of the work could be outsourced and probably will be. If the country no longer reflects my values, why should I be bothered to concern myself about its fate?


      • 110
        The General Public says:

        BBC news this morning appeared to have scoured the entire country to find someone protesting outside a cinema showing “The Iron Lady”.

        They found a pitiful gaggle of a dozen women doing just that in Chesterfield – and (natch) invited two of them into the studio to regale the nation about how everything awful that had ever happened to anyone was down to Thatcher (while the two dimwit presenters nodded.)

        Just sad.


      • 138
        Cassandrina says:

        Radio 4 epitomizes the BBC acronym meaning of “Bring Back Communism”


    • 137
      Cassandrina says:

      Rumours abound that Thompson is out shortly after the Olympics – this is also in the Economist.
      Problem is that the Coalition government has not got a good record on public service appointments. The BBC needs a non-political experienced and successful reformer, turn-around, and culture change artist. There are none in the public sector, but several in the private sector.


  12. 22
    Caroline says:

    I have no time for Harriet Harperson – to me she signifies all that is wrong with the Labour party. However, I am shocked at the spiteful comments on here, which I can’t help thinking are made only cos she is a woman. Cmon people, critisize her for her politics and mannerisms, not her sex!


    • 32

      No, it is coz she is rubbish.


    • 46
      smoggie says:

      You must be new here.


    • 49
      Joris Bonkman says:

      Nothing to do with sexism, sweetiepie.

      Now run along and finish the ironing.


    • 61
      Engineer says:

      Morning, Harriet.


      • 79
        Phil says:

        You’ve obviously not yet had your weekly thrashing.
        Couldn’t you find anything to do in the kitchen this morning?


    • 80
      Crazy Britain says:

      Caroline – you are surely forgetting that it is the mad Harpic who has used the fact she is female (allegedly) to gain position without ability.


    • 102
      Saucy Goose says:

      This is a woman who, along with Stella Creasy MP, held a ‘public’ election meeting in Walthamstow which men were told they could not attend, despite using public property (the Vestry House Museum) for the purpose. All contrary to the Representation of the People Act.

      She is clearly a sexist who hates men and whose views she does not want to bother herself with. She can’t expect her attitudes to gender not to be the focus of attention. Nor can she expect people to discuss her policies sympathetically when she refused to allow men to find out what they are or to question her about them.


      • 108
        Loungelizard says:

        Exactly., her partner Mrs Jack Dromey has some very suspect gender issues.


        • 118
          The General Public says:

          Whenever Hattie says “Aren’t the Tories horrible?” Dromey’s job is simply to reply “Yes comrade.”

          Their breakfast table is a hoot.


  13. 23
    Ed Tourette says:

    It’s tough being a Christian with Tourettes, I fucking swear to God.


  14. 27
    notareargunner says:

    She just miffed cos all the good looking Lieberites fuck men. Yea, it’s a pain in the arse being a politician OHOHOH.


  15. 28
    Klunk Klank - Every Trap says:

    A bit late but ….

    You know when you go to a site on the interweb eg The Gudnarnia – you can search for text such as ‘PMQ’ and if it says no matches you can go to the Politics Page and repeat the search – only to find ONE entry regarding Ed Moribund’s Question on ‘Scotland’

    Didn’t he ask ‘bout ‘Train Fares’ yesterday?

    NOTHING – Bloody funny that!


  16. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Paddy and Liam are leaving the pub, pissed as usual.

    “Come on back to my place, Liam” says Paddy, “I’ve got two cans of beer in the fridge. You just have to be quiet because the wife’ll be sleeping.”

    On arriving at Paddy’s place, Liam needs to piss, so he goes off to look for the toilet and opens the bedroom door by mistake.

    “Paddy,” he says rushing into the kitchen, “there’s a man lying in bed with your wife!”

    “Jaysus,” says Paddy, “I hope you didn’t wake him up. I told you I’ve only got two cans in the fridge.”

    Copyright Ayesha Hazarika 2012


  17. 37

    Ms Harperson is clearly the lady Macbeth of labour, denied ultimate power in her own right, she manipulates those around her, poisoning everything she touches. Hopefully, Ms Harperson will meet a similar fate.


  18. 38
    Bogeyman says:

    Lovely stuff going on over at the Graun. All those “progressives” who’ve been demanding abolition of the Lords have suddenly changed their tune.

    The Upper House has thrown out three provisions of the welfare bill, leaving the Lefties with a bit of a problem. Their hated “anachronistic and undemocratic” Lords have given them just what they want.

    Lots of posts along the lines of “I never thought I’d be saying this but…”

    They may have temporarily warmed to the Lords but it still doesn’t give them their idea of perfect democracy, i.e. a system where the Left get their way on absolutely everything.


    • 72

      How many people actually know that the Guardianista sells less than 300k per day?


      • 95
        Lemmy says:

        That’s because the other 700k copies were deleted by a News Of The World reporter after hacking into the phone order received from the BBC.


      • 101
        will says:

        According to the Press gazette which compiles figures.

        The Guardian, which increased its cover price to £1.20 on 18 September, was down 16.3 per cent year on year to an average daily sale of 226,473.

        mind you it did decide year on year to stop selling overseas. What the bet that by the end of the year its down to sub 200,000 per day. Take out public libraries and other bodies such as local gov and quangos that take it. I reckon the real readership is already sub 200,000


  19. 39
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Harriet Harperson is rubbish.

    13 years in power and what has she achieved?

    2.5million unemployed plus 500k more hidden away on Invalidity registers.

    her promise of a housing market which was both sustainable and affordable has led to me having a house I cannot sell even for a price considerably less than I paid for it.

    Can’t this Government just arrest her and put her in the Tower and / or take away her driving licence?


  20. 40
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    I haven’t been in the Westminster Village for months. Keep paying my MP salary – oh, and remember to top-up my gold plated pension fund.


  21. 43
    The Stilton Eater says:

    Ed Miliband might employ a comic to write his lines but he is the biggest joke going.

    Labour are a laughing stock with him in charge and the DUEMA stories prove this.


    • 91
      Alec and Dave says:

      Two Scotsmen went into a bar. “We demand a referendum,” said one. “OK, let’s have a referendum soon,” replied the other. “Not so fast, I haven’t rigged anything yet,” said the worried Scot. “Tough! And it’s your round.”.


  22. 44
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:



    • 76
      Trainspotter says:

      Hate to admit it, but I think David Icke may have been right about the lizards.


    • 103
      Fish says:

      Yes. But did you know that before this was filmed, he had his people go round and remove all of the antimacassars that bore the Virgin ‘first class’ logo. Unfortunately they missed one.


      • 109
        Lalalalalalala says:

        That’ll be because they are lazy as well as stupid and dishonest.

        He probably got them all on secondment from a trade union.


  23. 45
    Samson says:

    Hagrid Harperson – so in tune with the constituents she claims to represent that she wears a flak jacket to visit them! Wonder if she had a poll done on how many of them despise her.


  24. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What a scrote Ted Heath was !!

    Certainly I remember similar dodgy dealings with Ted Heath and the Chinese



  25. 55
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    crap gags – all the air of McRui – gags proving that if you don’t agree with RedEd you should not be in your job or you will get demoted. ha ha ha ha ha.

    So Ed wishes to surround himself with a load of ‘yes’ men which may explain why the train wreck PMQ’s occured.



  26. 60
    Dan Hodges right eye says:

    Ayesha is so funny my glass eye mists up whenever I hear her telling jokes


  27. 64
    A literalist says:

    In front of a cooker, shurely?


  28. 67
    Ex-Tory says:

    You may all laugh at the mad, socialist, hypocrite toff, but she is laughing at you. Harman and her fellow Marxist travellers have got their way, thanks to the apathy of the British people. Mass immigration to destroy our identity and culture. A monolithic State accounting for half of GDP. Discrimmination in favour of minorities (enshrined into law, thanks to Cameron). £bns of our taxes sent abroad, mostly to their socialist comrades. The destruction of the private sector economy to follow the Marxist climate change policies. Education destroyed for millions by dumbing down to the lowest achievement level. The break-up of the UK and the destruction of England into regional provinces of a European Super State. Yeah, she is laughing at you.


  29. 74
    the beast of the embassy club says:

    Ed is the joke he doesnt need a script

    I doubt that even his own wife and children respect him or indeed his dog, and just why does he need a “person” to write gags for him or give him opinions if he is sposedly a leader?
    Total fucking wanker!


    • 86
      the beast of BangCOCK says:

      I quite agree
      This is a man who shafted his own brother (along with the rest of us) and has the cheek to think that he can lead us
      That twat couldnt lead me to a thai prostitutes pussy even if it was spewing Cristal and diamonds
      His brother Dave is by far and away the better man
      At least he was born sterile ergo unlikely to pass on The Marx brothers DNA


  30. 77
    Ed Tourette says:

    Is it me or does anyone here understand a single word that comes out of EdM nose??


    • 84
      The message is falling on deaf ears says:

      The phrase..”Silk Purse out of a Sow’s Ear” comes to mind…you can write the best jokes in the World but if the delivery is crap or the deliverer is crap it’s a waste of effort.

      Ed could get on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square under spotights using a 500 MW Tannoy to tell voters his message and still fucker would listen to him…..


    • 88
      the beast of BangCOCK says:



    • 93
      Crazy Britain says:

      I think that the puppet masters are going to have their biggest problem getting rid of the puppet Ed. He will cling on as Labour leader like a barnacle.


    • 94
      Doris says:

      *pisses herself*


  31. 82
    On a collision course says:

    Behind the wheel.

    “You know where I live.”

    Divide and rule. It’s what Labour does.


  32. 83
    Craig Murray says:

    Ayesha Hazarika Embodies the Sickness of New Labour



  33. 85
    Loungelizard says:

    Ed’s entry in Who’s Who would simply read…..No idea.


  34. 89
    Stinkfinger says:

    Rumour has it that Ayesha Hazaraki was bet 50 quid she couldn’t slip the word ‘Kremlinology’ into one of Ed Milibands speeches.
    Easy money as she gets him to say Bollocks on a regular basis.


    • 96
      Doris says:

      Maybe that “Bla c kbusters” gag was one of hers.


      • 105
        will says:

        Maybe we should get her to do abba songs next week. For instance

        Take a chance on Me
        Super Trouper
        i have a dream
        The name of the game
        Thank you for the music

        I leave the rest to Guido readership


    • 107
      Hannibal from Carthage says:

      If Ed was to start bonking her then he would have the whole of the working class vote in the palm of his hand.


  35. 104
    McPoison says:

    ‘Poison’ and ‘Lies’.

    How can I help ?


  36. 115
    Ben Elton says:

    Such a talent!
    Put on a few pounds and she could be the next Dawn French!
    Or Jo Brand!


  37. 117
    Johan Hari says:

    We all know whose fault it is. Mrs. Thatch


  38. 119
    James Harriot FRCVS says:

    I have something in my bag which will humanely put her out of her misery.


  39. 120
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Harriet Harman – Hope you read this.
    You are no more than a hypocritical hanger on, taking tax payers money for nothing. You got Dromey a safe seat by offering to stand by Brown before the last election.
    You can live with yourself because like most of you labour colleagues you are in complete denial.
    Stop sponging off society and get a proper job.


  40. 124
    Kisses sweetie pie says:

    Vile, poisonous Harriet reads your blog?
    She is aware then of the utter contempt in which she is held.
    A personal message Harriet sweety…. you’re an
    U G L Y
    V A P I D
    M I S E R A B L E
    U N P R I N C I P L E D
    B I T C H


  41. 130
    Geoff says:

    I just looked at her website. She has studied communication yet she can neither write nor spell.


    Incredible !


    • 132
      Stufferupper says:

      Silly, that degree is in how to lick stamps and put them on an envelope the right way up.


    • 139
      Pundit Too says:

      Needs to get her hair done better, looks like she just got out of bed.
      Will she solve the East Lothian question and emigrate to Scotland?


  42. 140
    Mark wouters says:

    Cameron and Clegg and the rest are Rock Suckers ,or Idiots abroad at home ,they do what the CIA tells them to.


  43. 141

    Poor old Harperson, and the like, knowing that everytime
    they can’t resist reading the feared and loathed Guido
    they are adding to Guido stats and increasing the blogs
    advertising value.

    How they must hate themselves, even more.


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