Hungry For Taxes: Lunchtime Robbery
Hungry? Last week Guido brought you the rib-eye steak and hand-cut chips with béarnaise sauce that cost MPs a mere £7.80, thanks to the handy £5.93 top up from the taxpayer. This subsidy works out at some £20,000 per day…
As lunchtime approaches and the first greedy members saunter back into town, they can head to their exclusive riverside restaurant today for seared breast of pigeon with aubergine purée and spiced couscous. It will set them back £4.15. The rest of us, eating al desko, will pick up the extra £3.15 subsidy.
Choking…
UPDATE: Tory backbencher Chris Kelly gets in touch to say:
“Every day I have been an MP I have made my own sandwiches for lunch & brought them in. I used to take a packed lunch to work when I worked in my family businesses &, when I was campaigning flat out ahead of the general election, I did the same. I don’t see why it should be any different now that I’m an MP.”
Cheese and mustard today, in case you were wondering…
UPDATE: Elizabeth Truss MP responds with a call for the Commons catering to be outsourced to the private sector:
@MrHarryCole @daisymcandrew @GuidoFawkes I would to see franchises bid for on Parliamentary estate from the likes of Pret/Cafe Nero. #VFM—
Elizabeth Truss (@trussliz) January 09, 2012
Mine’s a Mixed Grill please!
But surely the Pigeons are free?
Troughing barstewards…… !!
Was Diane A. first in the queue ?
And second. And third. And fourth.
She’s on a see-food diet.
Slight semantic problems at the Staggers. Some in the party complacently assume historic anti-racist credentials are a permanent inoculation against racism. — it says.
I think it wants to say — Some in the party complacently assume historic victim credentials are a permanent inoculation against racism.
Elizabeth Truss demands what?
While I was at Westminster in the early 90′s they got rid of the ‘House’ cleaning staff and employed private contractors.
About the same time as unprecedented troughing was begun by MP’s.
You pay more for your meals you cow not employ private firms just so you can pay the same while catering staff earn less.
Police chickened out prosecuting Abbott, let us hope they apply the same standard for white folk.
Precisely.
Hardly typical “works canteen” fare is it?
And I don’t believe £7.30 is the full price of the meal anyway – try paying that in any normal restaurant with silver service, etc.
Wonder if the usual class warrior types tuck into this sort of scoff, or on principle go out for fish and chips at their own expense.
I think we know the answer…
That will just be for the foos and possibly wages.
Does not take into account all the other direct and indirect costs.
Laundry fuel insurance crockery etc etc
Or even the costs of the enormous area of the rooms used to prepare, cook and serve the victuals.
Wonder what The Squeaker had for lunch? Funded at taxpayer’s expense no doubt, or did he have some fish pie supplied by his missus?
Actually, I wonder if he has to sit down when having her fish pie?
You have to remember how hard we MP’s work and how important we are. Currently, I am negotiating on behalf of the European Union on crucially important business about access to the Union from non member Eastern Europe States, for female Interns to work for politicians. This entails extensive travel in Russia, Moldova and Ukraine. When I get back to the UK and Parliament, I will be exhausted and have to catch up on my constituency work. This intense pressure we MP’s are under is good enough reason why we should have restaurants subsidised by you mug taxpayers. By the way, why wasn’t I knighted along with my old flatmate Bob Russell? Jahbulon.
Council Tax? I bet the twats have wriggled out of that for their “Palace”
That should save a bob or two on the catering on-costs.
Surely you mean curries enough for 5 persons on one plate
Can I have some more please, sir?
(Chorus of Troughers:
” Food glorious food, fried halal chicken & mustard…..” & etc”
Stop That (subsidised) Pigeon
My pigeon is not subsidized, though it has usually been seared by a number of air gun pellets on the way to the oven…
What wine would you like with the mixed gill , I’ll get the tax payer outside to fetch one
Just had a cheese sandwich. The pigeon sounds great.
It’s a white conspiracy I tells thee!
I thought the Fat Abbot only ate pe8s & r1ce?
We are funding Diane Abbot’s arse.
Any black pudding?
I’m offended by that comment, and why are they only selling white meat?
Hate crime? I hate crime me……..
This is bigotry and hate!
We are all supposed to eat halal meat, even when it is not labeled as such, and like it too, on pain of charges of racism and Islamophobia.
Inshallah!
We, the MCB call on all UK stores to stop selling all pork products, to ban all children’s books about little piggies (including Ms Piggy) and to stop promoting any products not approved of by us first…….
Don’t be stupid, it was road kill from Westminster Abbey so it bleed to death anyway
Hate crime? Methinks you are telling porkies
Shurely in New Liebourspeak: “investing in an extensive arse-infrastructure project”.
Or possibly it’s a pioneering eco carb
onohydrate capture scheme.No wonder we’re all bleedin’ broke.
Black Booty!
Supplied by Worrel Thommo at a steal…Twice over.
Prick with Fork!
Wonder if the officer asked him to say, “Cheese” for the mugshot ??
Time for the MPs to lunch with taxpayers and not hide away in the palace of westminster.
Have you finished checking that fence Willy
I am not on fence duty today. I dont really do fence dutys very often because the new guys have to do it. I only help out if it is necesary. It has been a busy day with trucks coming in and out, but I should be back to usual sercve soon.
Fake.
I am fead up with these fakers – eveybody who knows the real Billy knows that i dont shirk hard work when it needs to be done.
Stop talking to yourself.
Pigeon breast? PIP that you Froggie Fraudsters. No industrial shit for our thieves, sorry, MP’s.
It is a disgrace that these hard working servants of the people should be expected to pay for their canteen food.
And thats just the food Guido – check out the booze
How was the pigeon killed?
think you should change your logo for this item guido. pigs are sensitive animals that have been very useful to humans for centuries.
MPs on the other hand are insensitive, provide no use to society whatsoever, and have been very UNuseful to humans.
No, no.
MPs are terribly sensitive souls.
Not for (temporarily, most of) them the unstunned halal meat that the rest of us have foisted on us and eat without a second thought.
You should publish their weekly menu…with what it costs them+what the tax payers pay towards it.
Seared Pigeon Breast?, that’s no way to refer to Harriet Harman.
It says seared pigeon, she’s no pigeon!!
With old hens it involves lengthy boiling………. for weeks sometimes dependant on the state of the meat and even then its shite.
Seared Pigeon Breast sounds more like La Mensch to me.
Is it kosher, though? Pigeons = tree rats.
Anyone want some cheddar? I’ll give you a good deal.
Cheese…… ? Your career is now toast !
Is it ’cause I am black.
Don’t suppose humble pie is anywhere on their menu.
Nulabour Christmas dinner
{Spinners Arms }
Melted ice caps sorbet
Miliband’s a Melon
{main}
Gordon’s glossed over economic turkey with a hint of lemon
Miliband’s cooked goose,
Baroness Ashton’s Brussels sprouts
Ali Campbells’s Roasted poll-tatoes ,
Harman’s Manberries Sauce.
Hazel Blears’ nutty stuffing,
Watson’s tiny sausage wrapped in bacon
(pigs in a blanket)
Red Flag cabbage, Green-bean shoots of recovery, Hash Browns
lashings of hot gravy train.
Alternative –
Brown’s a chicken supreme
or Darling’s beef {with Gordon}.
Porky Pies
Selection of cooked books.
Dessert
Peter Mandelson’s mince lies and whipped-up media cream
Ed Ball’s a flaming pudding
Abbott’s a fruitcake and Hain’s Tangerines with core vote crumble.
Fine electoral whines or spirits {of Tony}
Bitter Lemon with bendy in the wind political Straw
Gordon’s crackers and joke budgets.
Paper Crowns
Games available in family room:
Gilts Jenga, Clouseau, Its a knockout,
RISK of default,
Snakes and Losers,
Go for Broke
Cappuch-schemos
Quantitative eating
Bill: £8,500 + per taxpayer
Services not included or provided.
BluLabour Christmas banquet
{Winners enclosure Epsom.}
Winnedsor soup
Palm off ham
Main
Suckling Hogg of Pickles
Duck House a l’Orange
Range of thick cuts
Damien Greens
Bercow’s Brandy butter-up
Dan Hannan Brussels spouts
Roast UK peasants
Eric Pickles onions
Hickory smoked Hammond
Grilled Porterhouse Blue
Roast past snips with Immigrated cheese
Dessert
EU-rolly over poly
election Dates and ‘give a figs’
Osborne’s a plum duff.
Licorice Allsops
Eton Mess
EU Referendum fudge
Followed by Port and Ken’s B.A.T cigars.
Blue blood cheese, Ritz crackers, Rich tea or Kirkbrides take the biscuits, David Davis sour grapes.
and Boris Johnson’s Tory Crackers.
Followed by games at the second home:
Scrabble for power, Right wing Charade, 10 year Monopoly, Connect 40 {seats}, Pass the pigs.
That’s all very well but I fancied an Edwina Murray…
It would be discriminatory not to provide that.
Fresh brie, slightly warm and squashed during transit in my coat pocket. Just a fiver.
You poor old soul. If only there was some sort of subsidised canteen you could go to to help you out while you’re starving.
After lunch, I’ll see if I can find one for you on a charity website, OK?
I got caught doing the same thing in Sainsburys help yourself area
The manager though it hiliarious when he saw my black AMEX
“You lot are the worst”
Then banned me from every Sainsburys for life
24 hours later I was unbanned due to a spot of complaining
Shoplifting really is fun
NEVER COUGH THE JOB!
Must try Tescos
Black Amex. I hope that’s not racialist.
Black Amex – UNLIMITED racialist.
‘course not, it’s an African American Mexican. Great for cleaning the pool and playing hoops with after – every home should have one.
You are toast ! your career is toast !
Spec ed I have no career
As to the” Unlimit” that is rubbish, and the f uckers wont even tell you what the limit is until you get humiliated in a shop then wont tell you again
I just like whipping mine out to impress women
And the card also helps
Yes. That man at the Rolls Royce dealership does get terribly snooty when it comes back declined, doesn’t he?
They mainly get a knock back as AMEX charge such huge fees or heaven forbid you are 24 hours late with a payment and AMEX shuts you down
I hope they go bust
With all the “baloney” that comes from Westminster, you’d think they’d have enough for a few sandwiches. They provide the public with sandwiches, don’t they, the proverbial ones that everyday you’re forced to take a bigger bite of.
“Invested” is the preferred word.
Sophie love just get your tits out, nobody gives a fu ck about what you think
Where do women get these daft ideas from?
Chris Kelly is an odd one. I’d take anything that individual has to say with a large pinch of salt…
Talking of which ..could you pass the condiments along old chap. This couscous needs a dash of something to spice it up.
Rιce and ρeas? You’re only trying to divide and rule.
I demand a film of my life be made! It would have an opening weekend of £546 million!
Gordon Brown
THE IRON HOOF
It would go down a storm in SOHO or The Hamptons
As we all know you did
The man who thought that toilet trading was the key to this countrys future prosperity and sold our gold for Armitage Shanks shares
BBC in brackets…Capitalist bitch scores again.
650 MPs. Let’s say they each enjoy a £20 subsidy every working day of the year and that there are 250 of those.
The total figure comes to £3,250,000. Frankly, that’s chicken-feed and I don’t begrudge my MPs (well, my MP is actually Diane Abbott, so I do begrudge her, but not the others) this sort of subsidy.
And, in reality, most MPs are unlikely to enjoy that level of subsidy every day, not least given that they are likely to be in their constituency much of the time.
£5.2 million.
Thanks. Out of interest, is that your calcuation or an FOI figure?
In any event, it still seems pretty low to me. My employer subsidises our firm’s canteen as well, and it’s reflective of the fact that the cost of living in London is high.
The Telegraph et al. have this subsidy at £5.8m for all of the Commons’ restaurants and bars, rather than just for MPs’ lunches.
I can’t help feeling that this is a bit of a story in a teacup. We are talking about Britain’s legislature, after all. If it were some quango then I might feel very differently, but it’s the House of Commons.
Whoops — “storm”.
“…. but it’s the House of Commons”. And your point is?
Apparently he agrees that the crooks at the HoC are in some way ‘better’ than the rest of us and deserve special priviliges.
I don’t.
I think they’re fucking crooks and incompetents and I’ve got (at least) the past 13 years of history to prove it.
Well it will always be feckin’ high as long as you lot down there don’t pay the full price foryour goods and services and are subsidised by the other 80% of the country who enjoy no subsidies!! FFS !
Then your employer is a total f****** Milliband
Buy your own lunch or better still make it at home and bring to work
In a palace there will be delusions of grandeur.
No. I am not a blue-collar chav.
you fucking idiot
most MPs never go anywhere near their constituencies
someone should deep fry you and serve you to your MP
Shhh. Adults are talking.
The Northern Ireland MPs might well be in their constituency…or double jobbing at Stormont as MLAs where they can trough expenses and eat delicious food for next to fuck all as well.
I get my lunch from Tescos.
HEH.
Even cheaper than the House of Commons!
For lunch, I jerk my own chicken.
my breath stinks
Bottle of Merlot, partially drunk, just £6. Buy two and get a free Camembert.
Please Sir can I have some at these prices (more).
http://www.channel4.com/news/media/2009/04/day16/food2/Terrace_4.pdf
No, I did not say Pe* and R*ce modbot (dunce).
But you fell into the trap of using a word with r!ce in it! Init!
A little laxative could go a long way towards clearing some of the sh*t out of the hoc.
Last time I looked, I took a sandwich in a tupperware container with an apple and a can of Coke.
Hunts.
That’s a BBC canteen lunch, except they don’t bother with the sandwich or apple.
Or the can!
I have a feeling this will make Tony and Cherie so inflamed with jealousy, they’ll be demanding a glowing biopic of St Tony’s life be made. I can picture Cherie now, screaming down the phone at someone: “My Tony was the greatest prime minister! He deserves a film of his life more than Thatcher! People will queue round the block to see it! It would make tons more money than The Iron Lady has! Make it now and it better be nothing less than hagiography or else you’ll take a walk to Harrowden Hills!”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/9001871/The-Iron-Lady-sells-out-cinemas.html
There’s already been at least three films about Blair’s legacy, ‘Children Of Men’, ‘Green Zone’ and ‘The Ghost Writer’, here’s hoping ‘Hunger’ was a time travel flick about him too.
Proof positive that time travel doesn’t exist. Because if it did somebody would have come back from the future and killed Blair before he got started. Brown too.
Tonys biopic mmmm Citizen Fake
They already did a film about Tony Blair. ‘The Ghost’ by Robert Harris.
Jolly good it was too.
Practically a documentary.
I hope we don’t have to wait long before we can get the definitive biopic of Blair, Evil Dead.
Yes – the lead characters were very clearly the Blairs.
In the book & film, the PM’s wife was a long term CIA sleeper!
Makes you think!
it’s funny cos I know a disabled man who recently has had changes to his benefits, something about income support ending, he’s had his housing benefit cancelled until the changes are sorted so he’s practically got no money to live on – he’s very unwell, suicidal even – he contacted his Mps office cos he couldn’t understand what’s happening – they got in touch the next day to offer help – he’s heard nothing since – that was a month ago, they are cynical bastards cos he was suicidal and said so – MPs in touch to cover their own back NOT to be of compassionate assistance
MPs are full of shit already so they don’t need a food subsidy
I don’t mind Liz Truss getting a subsidised lunch. She’s sexy.
Even a lowly backbench MP’s pay puts him in the top 10% (or 5% – I forget the figure now) salary bracket. How is it that people at that far end of the scale need help paying their dinner money?
Babe!
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Education/Pix/pictures/2011/8/24/1314200268043/Elizabeth-Truss-007.jpg
Do they get restaurant service, or do they have to queue up with their tray like the rest of us have to in the works canteen?
“I’ll have the seared pigeon breast and chips, please love, and can you do us a pork pie for later?”
What do mean the Giant Ria is now extinct!.
This one is wet. This one is wet. All of these trays are wet.
Stop stealing my jokes.
I’m just stunned to read that the beardy moron and sometime panto dame is now a Tory backbencher.
What a terrible thing to say of Liz Truss.
My card was cloned. I never spent just under £500 a day on sandwiches at Pret. It’s a coincidence that the rascal who cloned my card always made sure to spend just below the amount that has to be openly published on expenses.
“You fat barsteward”
Just a little off subject but I need help as I am perplexed.
How many countries are there in the EU?
I had thought that there are 27?
But in the media I only ever see Merkel and Sarkozy represented as the EU and those are the only 2 that go to meetings and make the rules.
Am I really missing something or have we already left the EU? Or am I just a stupid and innocent toss pot?
Lots of interesting questions there for us all to think about deeply. I would add:
Did we ever truly join the EU in a deeply spiritual way?
How long does Sarkozy think he will have any say once the Kaiserene has used him to cow the rest into submission?
On the stupid and innocent toss pot question, I am seeking advise on the stupid bit.
Lots of interesting questions there for us all to think about deeply. I would add:
Did we ever truly join the EU in a deeply spiritual way?
How long does Sarkozy think he will have any say once the Kaiserene has used him to cow the rest into submission?
On the stupid and innocent toss pot question, I am seeking advice on the stupid bit.
It’s deja vu all over again!
come in No 135 your times oh, and you No 136 both of your times are up
I’m hungry. Feed me, honky!
Yes madam.
For starters we have Antarctic albino prawn, this will be follow by your main meal of white chick℮n meat, boiled new potatoes with white ric℮ garnish with the p℮a.
For desert we have our special of hideousness white chocolate and vanilla ice-cream.
Ray-cist!!!
You are dividing and conquering white-boy. You must cut out this ray-cism.
Rule of the Great: When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
You crackers are crazy for calling me racist! I love you honkys!
Crackers? Would that be Ritz or Water or Wafer or Jacobs ??
This is a genuine case of snouts and troughs – time it was stopped.
I just wonder how much the away day at the Olympic site cost us the taxpayer today ?
what about the abused ethnic minority MPs? Don’t they get their own ethnic restaurants and heaven forbid that wimmin should have to eat the same fare and in the same place as men
If we could report that only Tory MPs eat subsidised food and all Labour MPs brought in sandwiches we would.
However we can’t so we’ll ignore this story.
Thank you for your money.
Guy on Deal or No Deal is down to two boxes: 50p and £5.
Ha, Ha.
I suppose the subsidy is taxed as a benefit in kind!
I’d like to apologise for shoplifting from Tesco. I accept it was foolish of me and that I should’ve had the good sense to at least try and steal from Waitrose or M&S.
Tony
They dont have those self swipe points (extra discount for looking confused)
I think a lot of Civil Service departments do have subsidised canteens, though not to that kind of standard.
Either way, I suspect the chances are that a lot of MPs don’t pay even the subsidised rate anyway. If MPs are working late, they can legitimately claim for a meal. If they are entertaining constituents or certain guests for lunch or tea, I think that is also a legitimate expense.
No idea of the figures but I imagine a lot of the expense claims these days relate to eating and drinking.
Always looked rotund like one of the Mr Men …. perhaps Mr TeaLeaf ? Mr Thieving B*stard? Mr Mugshot?
Says a great deal about today’s society when an arrest for theft gets Thompson a caution…… saying “Black B*stard” will get you charged and into court.
Hate crime? I hate crime me..
Do troughing MPs pay tax on this benefit in kind?
Sorry Barry didn’t see your comment.
because they are badle paid and this is a cheap tax efficient way of keeping good staff?
because they are badly paid and this is a cheap and tax efficient way of keeping good staff?
Badly paid? They’re in the top 3% of salaries in the country.
Better pensions than everybody else, too.
Don’t forget to mention the fantastic hours! i.e. work when you want to.
not fantastic hours – constituents want clever staff to sort out problems – than means pay – depends on what you compare with – if you want someone capable of getting another job…
Are they doing the job to serve the public, or to make their personal fortunes? If the latter, would they please fuck off the public payroll?
From the riots last summer, a teenager loots rice from Tesco. Making a gun gesture to show you’re tough when you’re stealing a bag of basmati rice is hilarious on so many levels. Brrrrap!
http://brit-asian.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/looter-basmati-2.jpg
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2083998/Benefit-cap-190-families-10-children-cost-taxpayers-11m-A-YEAR.html
Remeber this when you hear lefties crying about benifits
Compare MP’s meals to the quality and quantity of the one costing £2.20 at the local primary school AND our kids don’t get the extra bonus/discount of allowances (AND despite MPs saving even more money by not eating at home during the week).
They’re on a WIN, WIN,WIN,WIN situation.
In this case a wing wing situation
Well, Red Ken got rid of those Trafalgar Square pigeons just as he vowed he would. I suppose Hugo and the Venezuelans didn’t want them?
“I would to see franchises bid for on Parliamentary estate from the likes of Pret/Cafe Nero.”
Greggs?
John Prescott just had an orgasm.
did he have chips with it?
Pasty anyone?
(For those unable to appreciate sophisticated humour, please note that pasty can be pronounce with a long “A” vowel sound or a short “A” vowel sound. One means a tasty meat & vegetable mixture encased in pasty and one means – well – PALE)
Special subsidies for lawmakers, don’t they also have special tax codes as well? Next it will be dachas Zil lanes and reserved schools for their kids.
See Blairs motorcade down Edgware Rd and think Brompton Oratory
Its already here
So when that West (?) woman gets arrested for giving a full and frank appraisal of immigrants on the Croydon tram that is racism because she has power? Really?
Power?
Do fuck off Lee you jackass. You’re embarrassing yourself.
So the reverse overt racism that exists in countries like Zimbabwe and South Africa today has nothing to do with the fact that black people are in power and in the majority there? What a complete clown this man is.
We’re so glad you cleared that up for us Mr. Jasper.
how well is all that ethnic funding you handled bearing fruit mr. jasper?
Cameron in opposition called a press conference saying he was going to stop taxpayers subsidies in HoC canteen.
He also managed one of his jokes about lib dims drinking habits.
Brown lasted 13 years in high office.
I can’t see this joker lasting long.
Brown lasted 13 years in high office.
I am reminded of this awful fact every time I hear of our monumental deficit and national debt.
Which will have doubled during Cameron’s tenure. The debt that is. The deficit will of course been eliminated during the term of this govt – tee hee.
Cut spending, cut regulation, cut taxes – there is no other way!
Brown lasted exactly as long as the leader of the Opposition was unelectable.
Cameron will be in situ for a very long time yet.
oh gawd
Pigeon breast is even cheaper if you shoot the damned thing yourself. Only costs 1p for an air-rifle pellet.
Same cost as rabbits.
Pheasants are even cheaper around our area. Just pick ‘em up off the road. Likewise venison.
Mmmm. Nothing tastes better than free food.
As John Prescott will affirm.
Or get a cat
My mothers has given up the job (its nearly 20) but she has another that drops of all sorts of tasty morsels as a gift in thanks for free meals
But the airgun is cheaper, difficult in London due to neighbours
however I have had a few squirrels and a wood pigeon
Curried squirrel is great
can I have the recip, please?
Particularly Chinese food.
No problem lots of pigeons in Trafalgar Square
When last have you been to Trafalgar Square? No pigeons there anymore. They’ve got a falconer now. Very cool to watch. A bit harrowing for the kiddies when one of his birds strikes, but not a bit of crap in sight. Unless you count the ‘art’ on the fourth plinth.
I like bargain grub – fuck, fuck, c*un*ting titty fucking bastard, nackers arse – don’t you – bollox!
Bollox
and….. Tits.
No, it was tiii-iiii-iii-ii-its.
Mandelson arrested for shirtlifting
Ready steady cock
LOL
Brown lasted exactly as long as the leader of the Opposition was unelectable.
Cameron will be in situ for a very long time yet.
Didn’t Mr Harry Cole, and possibly Guido himself, attend a save the pub event at the HoC in a subsidised bar there last year?
The cost to the taxpayer is £7.30p as i have said before they get £170 per week food allowance who do you think pays for that ?
What the hell is Elizabeth Truss talking about? Indeed, who the hell is she anyway?
Apart from the fact she’s obviously illiterate, the debate has got nothing to do with “outsourcing” (ugh) – who the hell wants Pret or any other bog-standard ‘outlet’ for the peasants in the HoP?
HoP’s catering is superb – keep it as it is; the debate is about the taxpayer subsidising it to an obscene level. Stupid bint.
Is the food eatable?. A friend once told when waiting in a queue for his dinner, he overheard a man tell the cashier that it takes the body 24 hours to turn food into shite, however it appears your bastards can manage to do it in the hour.
Is the food eatable?. A friend once told when waiting in a queue for his dinner, he overheard a man tell the cashier that it takes the body 24 hours to turn good food into shit, however it appears your staff can manage to do it in the hour.
Taxable benefits…… come on you HMRC bastards, do your job