January 7th, 2012

DUEMA: Miliband Relaunch Planned For Tuesday Morning

Guido hears that Miliband is preparing a Brown-style relaunch next week. He’s booked into Tuesday morning’s Today programme and will then head to the Oxo Tower, not for a stock speech, but to have another crack at the much derided Predators v Producers idea. It should give him some much needed gravy-tas


323 Comments

  1. 1
    Scamp - The Excitable Dog. says:

    What could possibly go wrong?

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido, we must vanquish the traitors.

    We need t-shirts ” Ed,Ed he`S the man if he cant save us no-one can”

    D.U.E.M.A

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh Guido…

    • 33
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      DULA – I can live with that.

    • 67
      Free Advice And Worth Every Penny You Paid For It says:

      Don’t OVERestimate them either, Tim my lad. Smart money would seem to find its way eventually to a proposition bet of “Labour qua party is OK, it’s the individual Labourites who are no damn good,” i.e. the current crop are a parade of horribles which any sane person would have a hard time wanting to see take power, but after all, Labour mean well, don’t they, and they have a place in the political discourse of the United Kingdom. It’s only in the “dead dog” constituencies (where the voters would vote for a dead dog before voting Tory) that Ed & Co. can count on unqualified support. But most people, one would think, are inclined to be charitable and say that it’s Labour’s failing that they can’t pick good people to represent them, not that the Party itself is a failure philosophically. So long as people recognise that Labour keep the chaff and chuck the wheat, Labour is going nowhere. If Labour turn the corner and start getting good people to represent their public face, then your Don’t-underestimate campaign makes sense; you will then have to deal with the policy issues and hope you can sell the public on why Labour per se is bad for the nation.

      • 138
        JH says:

        +1

        Labour are constantly given too much respect, to the extent that they are allowed, via their beach head in the media and education, to define the ‘debate’ and set up silly little non-hurdles like the entirely notional need to ‘detoxify’ the Tory brand – as if leaving the economy in fine fettle in ’97 is something to be ashamed of. As Ayn Rand said:

        Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone.

        Socialists are self-interested, power-mad nob-ends. They’ll watch the world burn before they question their own ideology.

        Just ignore them. Evil needs your compliance to gain a foothold; withdraw it.

        • 142
          Nick says:

          Problem there matey is that power doesn’t. Power takes what you have and rides roughshod over your rights to resist regardless of your intent. This is why evil, cruel people like politics. It gives them power to act as they want to against your will.

        • 189
          jgm2 says:

          Evil doesn’t need my compliance. It already has the compliance of 28% of the voting population at the last election. My ‘consent’ is already withdrawn but I’m at the mercy of those who still fall for Labour’s lies.

          I like the Ayn Rand quote though. Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. That is Brown and Balls to a ‘T’.

          • Spartacus says:

            just reading hayek’s road to serfdom – hard going, but complements your comment

          • JH says:

            I was talking more about falling into what the lefties regard as ‘debate’. There is no point trying to engage with these fuckers, just ignore them. The supposed need to ‘detoxify’ the Tory brand was a classic case of letting the enemy pick the battlefield.

            From the start Dave should have taken the line that the adults are back in charge after the insolent, gobby teenager’s 13 year long party, and it’s time to clean up the fucking house whether they like it or not.

    • 211
      bald old git says:

      Is this in the same vein as ‘Don’t underestimate the Quiet Man’, the Famous Last Words of IDS?

  4. 7
    Terrible But True says:

    ‘He’s booked into Tuesday morning’s Today program’

    Here was me thinking at least one of the Labour shadow cabinet was pre-booked on every BBC news show by default, and it was a simply a matter of who got bumped from the remote chance of a counter voice, like Toby Young, if any remotely non-Labour type looked like raining on the ‘every day is a May day’ parade.

    Of course others can end up invited on, but only if the boys and girls have scuttled back into the bunker with things looking iffy on the indefensible front, and even Auntie can’t face the thought of dead air.

    If Mr. Miliband is up for an outing, he must have been assured that nothing awkward will spoil his day, at least from the most trusted national broadcaster shared values can buy.

  5. 8
    Universal Hiss says:

    Will there be the usual stock questions?

    If so they will roux the day.

    I’ll get me jacket……..

  6. 9
    Speller says:

    “Programme” for broadcast, and not “program”, as in computer.

  7. 10
    @Sceptic_Tank says:

    Tuesday would therefore be a good day for the CPS to nail Huhne n’est ce pas? Or should that aside now be in German?

  8. 11
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Think he’s made a mistake with advance notice.

    Plotters will be rubbing their hands with glee.

    Good Luck anyway Red Ed.

    And don’t forget that its Blockbusters NOT Blackbusters :-(

  9. 16
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Some Liebore MPs are openly calling for him to go and be replaced by Alastair Darling. I’m sure other Liebore MPs will be throwing their hats in the ring for a leadership contest.

    Get the popcorn :-)

    • 19
      BillyBob... says:

      To be fair to AD, he has a gravitas that none of the others in the Front Bench Team have, but does he have the ability to win an election?

      • 23
        George Osborne says:

        I’m afraid he does have the ability to win but fortunately Labour are in death wish mode and will stick with the Teds.

      • 62
        The wrong man... says:

        Against Cameron – no. Against Boris yes…. Whilst this country is a union.

      • 146
        McKilt, och the noo says:

        He certainly had the ability to flip homes for his own personal gain.
        But then, it was within the rules, right Alistair?
        Like phuck you theevin sc@ttish kunnt.

        • 168
          jgm2 says:

          They were all at it. I sat through the Labour Imbecility wondering why on earth they were repeating the housing boom/bust of the late 1980′s. Knowing full-well that the ‘feel-good’ spending splurge that was under-pinning their miracle economy would grind to a halt just like it did back in the late 1980′s once people realised that actually their house wasn’t a perpetual cash-machine.

          But they went ahead and did it anyway. Despite making specific reference to the house pr*i*ce boom/bust in their 1997 manifesto. Then sat and watched annual increases of 20% for several years and declared it entirely normal. Nothing to worry about. What could possibly go wrong?

          It wasn’t until the expenses scandal broke and so many MPs were shown to be serially buying and refurbishing London flats and building up property portfolios at the tax-payers expense that I finally understood what was going on. The fuckers were insider trading.

        • 171
          jgm2 says:

          They were all at it. I sat through the Labour Imbecility wondering why on earth they were rep*eating the housing boom/bust of the late 1980′s. Knowing full-well that the ‘feel-good’ spending splurge that was under-pinning their miracle economy would grind to a halt just like it did back in the late 1980′s once people realised that actually their house wasn’t a perpetual cash-machine.

          But they went ahead and did it anyway. Despite making specific reference to the house pr*i*ce boom/bust in their 1997 manifesto. Then sat and watched annual increases of 20% for several years and declared it entirely normal. Nothing to worry about. What could possibly go wrong?

          It wasn’t until the expenses scandal broke and so many MPs were shown to be serially buying and refurbishing London flats and building up property portfolios at the tax-payers expense that I finally understood what was going on. The fuckers were insider trading.

          • jgm2 says:

            That said – in the Party of All the Imbeciles – Alistair Darling did seem to be the only one prepared to tell the truth about how badly fucked the UK economy was.

          • Spartacus says:

            as a councillor in edinburgh, Alistair Darling waged a war against all thing motor car. edinboro is the pits to go to visit. and i dont go there any more.

            Can you just imagine this chancer as a chancellor?

          • Grumpy Old Man says:

            Errr….He was a Chancellor, we didn’t have to imagine it. That wasn’t a nightmare, that was for real.

      • 322
        Anonymous says:

        Wasn’t Darling in Blackadder?

      • 323
        Anonymous says:

        Bollocks-meant to say wasn’t Darling in Blockadder?

    • 20
      David Cameron says:

      No No NO, Not Darling, he’s good, anyone but Darling.

      I have a cunning plan though. All Tories must join the Labour party and a Union and vote BALLS.

    • 190
      Stu says:

      Not another useless scotch git fucking up England.

      • 284
        Spartacus says:

        good ole beardless AD
        many of us remember him with a beard before the tax and spend party got in.
        he had to shave it off because bearded men like him were perceived by women to be untrustworthy.
        feminine intuition comes good again?

  10. 18
    Bog Brush Ed says:

  11. 21
    Miliband Minimus says:

    I have a Plan B. It involves living in Obscurity from next Wednesday morning.

    I’ve never been there, but my old drinking buddy Blinkie has and he says its smashing…

    • 148
      Gettin on me bike says:

      I’m going to go to Jeopardy.
      I hear from blinky Ed and Millipede that there are a lot of jobs in Jeopardy.

  12. 24

    I believe that Ed has already been booked to appear on Blockbusters

    Could be interesting…

  13. 26
    Groundhog Day says:

    Haven’t we been here before with the Labor leader holding a relaunch do every 5 minutes?

  14. 27
  15. 28
    Dino says:

    Out of interest, how many relaunches has he had so far?

  16. 29
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    Isn’t this re-launch number 512 ?

  17. 30
    Linky says:

    You would think Ed is everywhere, the way BBC New 24 can’t seem to go 10 minutes without talking about him today!

  18. 34
  19. 35
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Imagine the Star Wars remake.

    Gordon Brown Vader holds Ed Skywalker dangling over the precipice.

    “Ed i am your father, come with me and together we can rule the wilderness as father and son of Brown” :-)

  20. 36
    Climate change fuckwit says:

    There is absolutely nothing that Ed could say or do to change my opinion that he has been a fucking expensive disaster for the United Kingdom.
    I hate his fucking guts.

  21. 38
    Ed Moriband says:

    I’m weady for my welaunch, like the wocket man I weally am.

  22. 40

    Could you lot please stop taking the piss out of my fucking useless brother?

  23. 41
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Neo Guido on Sky News at 18.30

  24. 43
    hang The Bastards says:

    Milliband looks more comfortable and convincing in the Where’s Wally outfit than he does in his suit at the dispatch box.

  25. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Someone once said “It ok not to be liked, but not Ok to be ridiculed”

    Well something like that

    D.U.E.M.A

  26. 45
    going Home says:

    I take it he’s off to planet Zog then.

  27. 46
    It's Party Time says:
    • 55
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      I don’t think she understands what “trolling” is. The article itself is a classic piece of ATL trolling employing as it does the leftwing doublethink that only whites and right wingers can be racist.

      She really is stupid.

      • 72
        I Survived The Great Hacker War Of 2002 says:

        Indeed my good lady, once upon a time trolling used to mean something and was a fine art praticed by vertiable artists on the internets blank canvas now a days it is a mere one size fits all excuse and get out of jail free card to use on those you don’t agree with and to shut down debate much like ‘racist’.

        • 99
          nemo says:

          Actually there was an even older meaning of “Trolling” 1350–1400; Middle English trollen to roll, stroll < Middle French troller to run here and there < Middle High German trollen walk or run with short steps became part of the gay language, to troll, ask Billy B

          • Trolls is also an affectionate term used by rugby players to describe young female fans of the game. Gay players/followers of rugby also describe themselves as “trolls”. It would be interesting to hear Ms Penny`s opinion on that.

    • 64
      Joss Taskin says:

      So why did Red Ed order Fatbott to apologise ?

      • 319
        Penni Ghent says:

        and yhy did the elephantine Abbott feel the need to come up with that drivel about referring to 19th century colonialism as though that were the real context? (When it quite obviously was not the context, anyway).

    • 89
      Universal Hiss says:

      Dear God. I just read wot Penny rote.

      Lots of words that made no sense unless you too are a foaming at the mouth person of the left.Did she attend Oxbridge?

      She seems very fond of herself.

      Obviously starting a very successful push as a career politician.

      Spits.

    • 108
      Laurie Farthing-at-best says:

      Did I tell all you folks that during the Christmas Holidays I went and did panto? Shouldn’t come as a complete surprise– after all, my writing pretty much follows the conventions of panto, such as the same formulaic presentations all the time, no surprises in store, same old stock villains, same old laugh lines, ignoring the obvious, “let’s all sing along!” etc.

      I’ve always been a horse’s arse; now I got a chance to play one on stage!

      • 127
        genghiz the kahn says:

        At least Penny Dreadful hasn’t yet appeared on live News 24 this evening with a straight face claiming that Ed Miliband has charisma. I’m sure a pin dropped.

        James McIntyre must have another career as a stand up comic.

    • 186
      Poli Toynb says:

      So Watergate WAS about water!

  28. 47
    not a machine says:

    I wonder if its gonna be a glam rock affair , do do do de do do do , you better take care , you better beware , you better watch out if you got long black hair
    ah ahhhhhhhh Blackbuster (sweet cant remember when) or could be gary glitter , do wanna be in my gang , my postcode gang !, but tueday is some way off and he will be a tweakin from his hideout .

    might as well say what i forgot to say , in that Dave sounded very at ease in his ward talk , in what he would like the NHS to try and improve upon , placing the fulcrum in a good position to try and adopt the good standards that are easy enough to work .

    Bit of a lite enagement on HS2 , I nearly fell out of chair on CBI words , how excatly does “lack of high speed rail affect business investment ?” mmmm wont expense sapping high rail fares for business types reduce investment , or for that matter tax payer having subsidise veritable white elephant , noting all HS lines in Europe are state subsidised (somthing this weeks little tease on rail fare costs compared to europe failed to point out ). or perhaps put another way wouldnt not having to pay HS2 rail fares increase business investment ?
    The capacity issue could of course be tackled in a completely different way , why do all these people need to travel to london , I mean what business activities are causing the increase in London commute , and would not relocating them to say to Birmingham or Manchester have a better overall ecnomic effect , rather than pressurising londons infrastructure more ?
    Some of the evidence panel on the HS2 HOC meeting had some of most interesting facts about the scheme going and yet there seems to have been no reponse to these . I listened to quite a bit of it and thought it was pretty obvious that it was a rather expensive gamble .
    I am not anti rail at all and it would be nice to look forward to the day when govt subsidey is ended , but if it turns out we need to get freight to user closer/sorted first , faster passenger travel will be rather short sighted

    • 129
      HS2 Stinks says:

      Another glorious socialist spend and waste scheme to help us keep up with EU levels of loss, on the way to our own national penury.

      HS2 will contribute to Dave’s increase in national debt from the £900 Billion that Gordoom left us, to the £1600 BILLION that Dave is striving to achieve by the end of his Parliament.

      BTW if Business thinks HS2 is such a great idea, why doesn’t the City come up with the capital, instead of Dave’s helpless TAXPAYERS.

      What did happen to Capitalism, because this is not it.

      • 178
        jgm2 says:

        +1.

        Multi-billion pound make-work scheme. Just build some longer platforms or make double-decker trains if you need more capacity – which I doubt. Got to be cheaper to rejig a few bridges and tunnels than start from scratch. In fact you don’t even need to rebuild the bridges – just dig a bit deeper under them.

        • 286
          Spartacus says:

          This is the Cameron plan, with only a couple of goals to achieve

          1. Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to public purposes.
          2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.
          3. Abolition of all right of inheritance.
          4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.
          5. Centralisation of credit in the hands of the State, by means of a national bank with State capital and an exclusive monopoly.
          6. Centralisation of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the State.
          7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the State; the bringing into cultivation of waste-lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.
          8. Equal liability of all to labour. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.
          9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equitable distribution of the population over the country.
          10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children’s factory labour in its present form and combination of education with industrial production.

  29. 48
    Ed Miliband says:

    I send my condolences to the family of Elvis Presley, whose hits included I Cun’t Help Falling In Love.

  30. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  31. 51
    Ed Miliband says:

    I love Black to the Future.

  32. 66
    Just asking.... says:

    Is Kun Aguero being marked by Evra tomorrow?

  33. 70
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed must be saved !!!!

  34. 74
    Charlie Adams says:

    Fucking Filthy Racist Scousers, why the fuck am I stuck playing for this shite team.

  35. 80

    From quotes at IMDB

    Star Wars .. A New Dope. The Miliband Red-Ray edition.

    A long time ago, in a leadership race of little importance, far, far away…

    Ed Shitetalker buys androids from the tiny, squabbling, double dealing, corrupt scrap metal droid dealers, the Jowells. The red activist one blows up.
    C3P-Hain “Master Ed. This one has quit. Seems he had a bad motivator.”

    “Are you Tony-Benn Kenobi, of the far left alliance ?”
    “now there’s a party I haven’t heard of in a long time..”

    Outside the Cantina bar.
    Old Tony-Benn Kenobi tells the Unison Immaterial stormtrooper guards.
    “This is not the leader you are looking for. He should go about his business.”

    In the bar. Ed Shitetalker is confronted by an angry, hideous faced old /new labour supporter. {John Prescott}
    “My friends in the Lords don’t like you!”
    “Well..I’m sorry..but I’ll try my very best..”
    “I don’t like you either. You just watch yourself. We’re unwanted men. I have punched voters on twelve boundaries. ”
    Old Tony-Benn Kenobi steps in..
    “This little one isn’t worth the bother..I’ll buy you a pie..”

    At the table – they meet Plan Loco {ed balls}
    Ed Shitetalker: “Benn – is this the smuggler?”
    Tony-Benn Kenobi: “well ..he’s certainly very smug”

    Plan Loco: “Sure..I can get you to number 10..But what’s in it for me?”
    Tony-Benn Kenobi: “Double cabinet post pension pots for you and your wife. Half in expenses now..and half later..You have a plan to get us there?”
    Plan Loco: “You’ve never heard of the Pollonium Balls-Con? Its the plan that destroyed the economy in less than 12 parliaments.”

    At the trader’s spacecraft
    Ed Shitetalker: “What a heap of junk! These ancient tax and spend policies will never fly”
    Plan Loco: “Listen kid..they’ll make it past The BBC completely undetected. They may not look like much, but they’ve got it where it counts. In PFI hidden debts! I’ve made a lot of special modifications myself. I changed many of the ’9′s to ’0′s.”

    Tony-Benn Kenobi: “Your father’s Abacus. This is the weapon of a Jedwood Shite. Not as accurate or precise as a calculator; an elegant calculating device for a more prosperous age. For over a thousand days, the Jedwood Shites were the guardians of the finances in the Old Labour Republic. Before the dark times… before there was no money left..

    Ed talks about predators and producers again.
    Plan Loco: Damn fool, I knew he was going to say that.
    Tony-Benn Kenobi: Who’s the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

    Dave Prentis: Red One standing by!
    Sadiq Khan: Red Three standing by!
    Polly Toynbee: Red Six standing by!
    10 o’clock news: Red Ten standing by!
    Ken Livingstone: Red Ken standing by!
    Dianne Abbott: Red or black, standing by!
    Red Ed: Yep..That’s about all who will vote for me.

    Red Ed: Stay on message..stay on message..
    Red Abbott: I got a problem here. My Twitter finger’s getting cramp. And I’m eating soup!
    Red Ed: Eject!
    Red Abbott: I can hold it. Gimme more room to type.
    Red Ed: You’re too off message. Shut up!
    Red Abbott: No, I’m all right…
    [death scream]
    Red Six: [Porky Abbott's career explodes from a media crossfire]

  36. 84
  37. 86
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is there no one in Ed Miliband’s corner to throw the towel in? Come on Ed you are looking really, really stupid now. It really is time to pack up.

    • 151
      But HE does says:

      Excuse me, but I think you have Ed Miliband confused with someone who has self-awareness.

  38. 93
    Engineer says:

    Somehow, you just get the feeling that Ed’s relaunch is going to backfire in some way.

    It says something about the political debate in Britain when Ed Miliband’s best chance of making progress is to keep his head down, and his mouth shut.

  39. 95
    anon. says:
  40. 98
    joescotus says:

    cought polly on sky earlier spinning ” ed man of steel” “strong silent type” collosus astride… will come good polly every labourer knows that keeping this tit as leader….. labour are fucked, fucked & treble fucked fraser nelson did well to keep his composure

    • 105
      genghiz the kahn says:

      A man of Steel – just like Iosif Vissionarivich?

      Can’t imagine Stalin allowing his henchmen to tweet for him on the death of a gameshow host.

    • 111
      Universal Hiss says:

      She tried that in the Gruianrad today.

      Even there she got slated by Cifers. Wonder where all the usual leftie loons have gone?

      • 117
        Investor says:

        Comfort shopping mainly. Buy chocolate futures.

      • 158
        jgm2 says:

        Wonder where all the usual leftie loons have gone?

        They’ve probably all been banned too. It’s getting to the stage where the only people allowed to comment will be Polly herself.

    • 125
      nellnewman says:

      If pollytwaddle’s back from her luxury tuscan villa things must be really bad for militwit and she sure isn’t going to make them any better by trying to make him out as the next messiah.

      • 128

        For a woman on £120k a year, plus undisclosed private sources, Ms Toynbee is remarkably free of any dress sense, a bitchy point, i know, but i do feel better with it off my chest.

        • 152
          Pollyfiller says:

          How much would a facelift cost?
          Not a simple straight-forward one, but the full blown operation with bells on.

        • 172
          AC1 says:

          Husband just got sacked.

          • jgm2 says:

            Hahahahaha.

            You’ll be banned for mentioning that on CiF.

          • AC1 says:

            Censorship
            Is
            Flourishing.

          • jgm2 says:

            Aye. It’s like the BBC website now. You are free to post but anything not from the Labour party line will be removed from the comments on any pretext whatsoever. Particularly if it’s on the first page.

          • Cell time says:

            Not just the website, any answers carefully edited, no live defence for Hackney Abbott but dimblebore read out sufficient emails, to make it balanced.

            The BBC (don’t just mean abbott) needs sorting out before GE.

          • jgm2 says:

            Indeed. And when Clarkson took the pi55 out of them by presenting a ‘balanced’ view suggesting strikers be shot in front of their families the bed-wetters immediately started swooning and pretending not to get the joke.

        • 197
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Funny that. The Surgeon-general is saying something similar.

      • 205
        In Soviet Russia says:

        Luxury Tuscan villa lives in you!

  41. 116
    annette curton says:

    Come Tuesday,

  42. 123
    nellnewman says:

    Ah a relaunch. Well labour are master’s at those. Will they be having a make believe elvis like they did for gordon?

    • 134
      that was my idea says:

      Hahahahahahahahaha….

      • 175
        Phil says:

        Nearly choked on my tea – Funnier than when I saw it first time – wonder if the person who choreographed it ever worked for Labour again? I doubt it.

        • 196
          nellnewman says:

          I don’t know who choreographed it but I do remember mandy grandly announcing that there was going to be a massively important star there that day.

          To this day I have’tt worked out whether he was trying to be funny or trying to stitch gordon up.

      • 230
  43. 131
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    Wow “booked into the Today show next Tuesday.” Hardly news. On 2 January oday programme announced there would be interviews this week and next week. I hope Guido is not paying Neo Guido for this rubbish.

    • 136
      CCHQ says:

      Just keep the interviews coming beeboids.

      Ed Miliband…..the gift that keeps on giving.

  44. 135
    Ah! Monika says:

    Ed’s new capitalism just introduced in ad on ITV

    ” With 20% off furniture in our half-price sale “

  45. 137
    Moribund II ~ Man of Steel says:

    Moribund II on the launch pad and counting.

    48 Hours to Blast Off.

    Frank Spencer Mission Control declaring ~ All systems GO

    “All we have to do now is sit back and wait for the ‘Ooh Betty’ Moment.”

  46. 141
    Bird with small brain says:

    I think Ed’s advisors are hoping to mimic the stunningly popular cannon launch of Russell Grant on Strictly. Come to think of it, I think they have a lot in common. Hapless, I think the word is……

  47. 144
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I bought a scrapyard today, full of old cars, fridges and washing machines.

    I’m reopening it tomorrow as a council estate garden centre

  48. 147
    nellnewman says:

    Oh I see militwit gave an interview to the gruadian today in which he said he was ‘ someone of real steel and grit’.

    If you have to go around trumpetting that about yourself , the chances are, it probably isn’t true.

    • 156
      jgm2 says:

      Oh yeah. Real steel. Like that geeky one off ‘The Inbetweeners’.

    • 160
      retardEd "Stalin - man of steel" Milimong says:

      I’m thuper
      Thankth for athking
      All thingth conthidered
      I couldn’t be better I must thay

      I’m feeling thuper
      No, nothing bugth me
      Everything is thuper when you’re
      Don’t you think I look cute in this hat?

      I’m tho thorry
      Mithter Cripple
      But I jutht can’t feel too bad for you right now.
      Becauthe I’m feeling
      Tho inthanely thuper
      That even the fact that you can’t walk
      Can’t bring me down

      [Background singers:]
      He’th thuper
      Thankth for athking
      All thingth conthidered
      He couldn’t be better he must say

    • 180
      labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Shades of the broon talking about courage.

      The chip never flies far from the block, so to speak.

    • 182
      South of the M4 says:

      We never see ourselves for who we really are. The only opinions that matter about anyone – is somebody else’s.

  49. 150
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I think this just about sums up Nu Liebore re-launches of leaders

  50. 153
    Bird with small brain says:

    Seriously, if I was Ed Mil or one of his advisors I would be very worried. Ridicule permanently damages precisely because it is so memorably ridiculous. Who doesn’t remember Michael Foot’s ‘donkey’ jacket? Even though it wasn’t one, apparently. I think Ed’s damaged because he has so little scope for appearing dynamic, unless he sacks Ed Balls. That would be impressive.

  51. 185
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 202
      nellnewman says:

      ‘running out of money’ makes it sound as though it was not their fault.

      They spent money unwisely, like water. And when it was gone they printed more and then spent again like undisciplined kids with a credit card not knowing how to keep themselves out of debt.

      • 219
        errrrr.... says:

        the fuckwits in Government at the minute are doing exactly the same though…

      • 253
        Leftism = criminal mentality + middle class privilege says:

        “Spending” is one way to describe it.

        “Stealing” would be more accurate.

  52. 195
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  53. 198
    nellnewman says:

    So is militwit going to tell us on Tuesday what he plans to do about the economy if he gets into no10 given that he doesn’t believe in cuts and does believe in gordon’s spend spend spend philosophy that got us into this mess in the first place?

    Perhaps liam’ there’s no money left’ byrne will want to help him out of his hole.

    • 233
      jgm2 says:

      Vacant Ned won’t have to worry about that Nell because nobody at the BBC will bring up Liam Byrne’s oh-so-hilarious ‘Fuck you’ to the nation. Nor indeed Alistair Darling’s admission that Labour cuts would be deeper than Fatchers. Nor ervyn King’s pre-election comment that whoever gained power would be forced to make such deep cuts they’d be out of power for a generation.

      Nope. Ned will be bowled nice under-arm long-hops by the BBC which he’ll probably still manage to glove behind. He really is that shit.

      • 297
        Jayle Bird says:

        If he needs a plan, he could promise to make all credit and store cards illegal. That may go some way towards helping the country dig itself out of the doodoo.

  54. 199
    grobdj says:

    Ed discovered in the job that he has steel and grit, why is why he stood for the job

  55. 200
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 210
      jgm2 says:

      Cue Labour-instigated faux indignation from ”Tourette’s Society of Great Britain’.

      The BBC will soon be leading with Yvette Cooper giving it ‘Tourettes is a serious condition and it is embarrassing for sufferers to be the butt of jokes by the Prime Minister. He should apologise immediately’.

      The BBC contacted a spokesman for the Tourette’s Society of Great Britain who said ‘Fuck Arse Bollocks C*unt’.

      And now, the weather where you are.

    • 277
      I Don't Have Tourette's, I Just Bloody Curse All The F*ckin' Time says:

      Just as long as Cameron doesn’t make some half-fast joke like “Oh– had an attack of Tourette’s myself, there!” the whole thing should blow over. Believe me, politicians do NOT want to go down the road of talking about people who open their gobs and can’t control what comes out.

    • 278
      Tourette's Sufferer says:

      I demand an apology from Cameron for comparing people like me to Ed Balls!

  56. 206
    Charles Addams says:

    Any resemblance between these people and the Front Benches is unfortunate.
    For the Family, not the Front Benchers.
    https://www.google.com/
    (Centenary of the artist’s birth.)

  57. 209
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Isn’t there an SU somewhere crying out for his ‘skills’?

  58. 212
    Dee Facto says:

    Diane Abbott is an anti racist campaigner…Fact.

    Diane Abbott’s campaigns are always about whities abusing Darkies…Fact.

    Racism does happen the other way around ….Fact.

    Her Tweet that the White people divide and rule was racist…Fact.

  59. 213
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 220
      Frank says:

      To be frank John and I consider myself a reasonably educated person, I was not sure what Tourettes was. Now that google has informed me what Tourettes is I have to agree with Cameron.

    • 221
      grobdj says:

      If there’s something strange
      in your neighborhood
      Who ya gonna call?
      BLACKBUSTERS

      If there’s something weird
      and it don’t look good
      Who ya gonna call?
      BLACKBUSTERS

    • 224
      jgm2 says:

      Right on cue. The cock-waving Imbecile Prescott suddenly discovers a life-long commitment to Tourette’s sufferers.

      ‘I am discombobulated by the seriousnessiveness of the insensitivityness of the Prime Ministers words. He should apologise immediately.’

      Diane Abbott tweeted ‘Another typically racist and insensitive comment from the privately educated Prime Minister’.

      Empty Ned, the shadow leader commented ‘Too fathst, too dtheep’.

      Toxic Ned commented through the medium of mime making what various observers suggested was either a throat-slashing motion, a signal he was running out of oxygen or a limp ‘Heil Hitler’ salute.

  60. 214
    Ed Miliband says:

    I’m a man of steel.

  61. 217
    cynic2 says:

    BBC Radio 4 News tonight had the doughty Milliband on the offensive demonstrating his skills by launching a pre-emptive strike with Chukka on Executive Pay. It was like a Party Political Broadcast. All it needed was brass band in the background

    • 229
      jgm2 says:

      It was like a Party Political Broadcast.

      Errr – and this differs from the BBC usual ‘interviews’ with Labour politicians how exactly?

      We’ll likely be getting another one on the Andrew Marr show tomorrow morning.

      ‘So, Mr Balls, in your own words explain how the T*ries are fucking the UK economy and how you would fix it by borrowing more money…’

    • 246
      joescotus says:

      the fawning davies had his head to far and to fast up chukka the fucca’s arse !

  62. 218
  63. 225
    Anonymous says:

    Bollocks to Mili take a gander at this. For the past 10 years I’ve dogmatically assumed the WTC attacks were by Arab terrorists. There were THREE towers remember…

    • 244
      Anonymous says:

      The Planes where controlled using US Air Force “QRS11 Triaxial Remote Guidance System” (“JPALS”). Essentially it’s a “gyro on a chip” using GPS and electronics implanted in the Boeing aircraft allowing them to be controlled remotely. All 5 planes had their black box in flight recorders turned off. The recorder is turned off when the Airborne Warning and Control System takes over the craft.

      The CIA carried out the attacks and staged the so-called cell phone calls from passengers on the commercial airlines by using voice impersonation technology and other remote technologies. This group also created the conspiracy story of 19 Arab hijackers, many of whom where either dead or in jail in the middle east.

      The airline passengers on 9/11 where probably gassed aboard their plane and then sent to either the Amtrak facility in Kansas City, Kansas or the FEMA crematorium in Terra Haute, ID to be incinerated.

      The NIST report does not mention how buildings can collapse due to fire without a historical precedent of any steel framed skyscraper collapsing other than in a controlled demolition. This issue is avoided by claiming that “global collapse” was “inevitable” after the “initiation of collapse.”

      While the building is collapsing you can see puffs of smoke (“sprites”) exploding outward from each floor in a timely manner, 10 to 15 floors below the rubble as the building collapses. This would suggest the detonators where on a timed circuit set to go off in a controlled manner, enabling the building to collapse in a free fall. An unobstructed freefall using Newtonian physics would be 6 seconds. If the building collapsed in the ‘pancake’ manner often described, logic would dictate that this would greatly reduce the speed, however the World trade center collapsed in 7 seconds.

      This makes sense when you consider the testimony from the firefighters. They reported hearing regular explosions but the media ignored their testimony. Even Columbia Observatory recorded explosions on their seismograph, moments prior to the collapse. Prior to 9/11, no steel building had ever collapsed due to fire. Jet fuel cannot burn hot enough to melt steel because steel melts at 2,700 degrees Fahrenheit, while Jet fuel burns at 1,800.

      The truth is the fire burned around 700 degrees and was about to extinguish itself. This is confirmed by the black smoke which occurs in an oxygen deprived fire. There is no way the fires could have burned as hot as the government claimed especially when videos show people sitting at the edge of the impact hole waiting to be rescued.

      Steven Jones, professor of physics at Brigham Young University found that the rubble had evidence of evaporated steel, and thermite which is used in controlled demolitions. For steel to evaporate it would require temperatures in excess of 5,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Even three weeks after the world trade collapsed there where still areas of rubble so hot fire fighters could not go near it.

      Perhaps this explains why the government was so eager to ship the “evidence”, to China and South Korea. This was a crime scene, and by removing the evidence the government violated crime scene laws. Oddly enough the company tasked to do this was none other than “Controlled Demolition Inc.” With all this “heat” how come the terrorist’s passports which linked Al-Qaeda to the attacks fail to burn in the raging inferno as claimed by the government?

      The Bush family and the Bin Laden family are best friends. They where business partners in Saudi Oil and members of the Carlye Group. Bin Laden checked into the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN prior to September 11, 2001 seeking medical treatment for his kidney problems and died on December 26, 2001 from kidney failure and lung complications.

      Incredibly, Congress has passed the National Defense Appropriations Act, Amendment 1031, which allows for the military detention of American citizens. It is so loosely worded that ANY American citizen could be held without due process.

      They are forgetting something critical: history shows that those who sign bills will be subject to these bills themselves. Perhaps Congress assumes that it will always only be “they” who will be arrested and detained. The facts recited above constitute prima facie evidence that George W. Bush, Richard B. Cheney, Donald H. Rumsfeld—and other John and Jane Does are independently and jointly guilty of Treason against these United States under Article III(3) of the U.S. Constitution.

      • 247
        jgm2 says:

        I have a bridge to sell you.

        • 248
          Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

        • 254
          Anonymous says:

          Expect an arrest of said people any time.

          FYI the US did NOT ill Osama bin Laden May 2 in Pakistan — or any day, anywhere. That is not to say that this scenario does not serve a useful purpose in laying the so-called “War on Terror” completely to rest, but the allegation at the center of it is not true, nevertheless.

        • 259
          Anonymous says:

          Expect an arrest by the US military of the said people at any time.

          For your information the US did not kill Osama bin Laden on May 2 in Pakistan, or on any other day, anywhere. He had numerous ailments and died of natural causes. That is not to say that this scenario does not serve a useful purpose in laying the so-called “War on Terror” to rest, but the allegation at the center of it is not true, nevertheless.

          Many people remain in ignorance of the deeper purpose of what 9/11 was. The so-called Illuminati, who wish to reduce the population of our planet from 7 billion to 500 million know that when all this becomes publicly known, they will fall.

          Their hold on many members of Congress is still very strong. Remember that President Obama is just one man. Everything he directs is supposed to be carried out by others. If many of these others are intent on subverting his orders, what can he do to prevent it?

          I strongly believe that as soon as the Illuminati stranglehold on government and the military, etc is broken, which will probably be this year, President Obama will actually be able to lead his government and bring some of his plans into action, without being subverted every step of the way.

        • 260
          Anonymous says:

          Expect an arrest by the US military of the said people at any time.

          The US did not kill Osama bin Laden on May 2 in Pakistan, or on any other day, anywhere. He had numerous ailments and died of natural causes. That is not to say that this scenario does not serve a useful purpose in laying the so-called “War on Terror” to rest, but the allegation at the center of it is not true, nevertheless.

          Many people remain in ignorance of what the deeper purpose of 9/11 was. The so-called Illuminati who wish to reduce the population of our planet from 7 billion to 500 million know that when all this becomes publicly known, they will fall.

          Their hold on many members of Congress is still very strong. Remember that President Obama is just one man. Everything he directs is supposed to be carried out by others. If many of these others are intent on subverting his orders, what can he do to prevent it?

          I strongly believe that as soon as the Illuminati stranglehold on government and the military, etc is broken, which will probably be this year, President Obama will actually be able to lead his government and bring some of his plans into action, without being subverted every step of the way.

      • 251
        jgm2 says:

        Steven Jones, professor of physics at Brigham Young University

        Would that be the same Brigham Young University where you can study creationist palaeontology? I wouldn’t pay too much attention to what any of their ‘scientists’ have to say.

        • 265
          Anonymous says:

          The question is how did those explosives get into the building without anyone noticing?

          On the weekend 8-9 September there was a power cut in the south tower. For 36 hours there was no electricity from the 50th floor up, so that there was no CCTV or security locks on doors. Maintenance staff reported seeing ‘engineers’ coming and going and the sound of heavy objects being shifted around on floors supposedly unoccupied. Remarkably bomb sniffing dogs patrols where halted on September 6, 2001.

          Securacom (later renamed Stratesec ) was responsible for the security of the WTC complex. Marvin Bush was on the board of directors. Isn’t it strange that he has never been investigated especially considering Securacom was also in charge of security for United Airlines and Dulles International Airport?

        • 268
          Tachybaptus says:

          So there’s such a thing as creationist physics? Can hardly begin to imagine what they believe. Gravity is the will of God? Atoms are an illusion sent by Satan? Pi is 3 (see 1 Kings 7:23 & 26)?

        • 306
          The Paragnostic says:

          Given that the claim is that “thermite” was found in the rubble, the most likely explanation is that the remains of rusty brains and tinfoil hats were somehow commingled with the debris.

          How people continue to believe this sort of conspiracy theory is beyond me – the simplest explanation is that there is a malign entity controlling their minds and blinding them to the obvious truth that the steel was weakened by the heat and gravity did the rest.

      • 262
        not a machine says:

        Ah bless , an so you really expect us all to believe that no pilot could override remote control ………… whole thing hinges on made up intro mix of tech myth , funny that virginia flight highjackers got overun , must have just been lucky hitting that CIA control off button .

        • 273
          Anonymous says:

          There is no way a 124 foot wide Boeing 757 airplane could fit into a hole 15-18 feet wide.

          Pentagon officials confiscated 80 video cameras which where focused on the pentagon, and eyewitnesses had to sign nondisclosure agreements. Only one of these videos has been released and is only 4 frames. All we can see from the video is a blurry metal lump of some sort hit the pentagon. It is safe to rule out a 757, because such a large aircraft flying at 450 mph would be torn apart from turbulence created while flying under 60 feet in altitude.

          Bush ordered the destruction of the Pentagon building to prevent the USA returning to constitutional law. Remote pilot technology was used to fly a small white private plane loaded with explosives into the Pentagon at the exact location of the White Knights in their new Naval Communications Center who at the time were supporting National Economic Security and Recovery Act (NESARA) implementation nationwide.

        • 309
          Otto says:

          What pilots ?

    • 249
      Good Ole Boy says:

      Conspiracy my arse – the establishment make a fuck up of everything it touches.

      When has it ever done anything right?

  64. 232
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  65. 234
    anonymous admirer says:

    For Ms. Ewanme Botha whoever, and wherever, you are. With love:

    • 256
      And As Long As We're On The Subject says:

      And along the same lines, another one from the 80′s:

      • 264
        I'll ave some of that. LOL says:

        For Ewa:

        • 275
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          We like Ewaname dont we Giudo? Its a shame Im gay sometimes, isn’t it Neo? Id quite lke some company in my booth occcasionallly. I imagine E like this don”t I Guido? PS did I win the craption contest this week

  66. 237
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Re-launching, again?

    Light red touchpaper and run away as far as your little legs will carry you.

  67. 238
    BREEDIST!!!!!! says:

  68. 239
    jgm2 says:

    Vacant Ned’s leadership inspires further Labour losses in Fucking Scotland…

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-16443340

    The SNP has taken control of Clackmannanshire Council, after a vote of no confidence in its Labour administration.

  69. 242
    Wasting Police Time? says:
    • 245
      jgm2 says:

      It’s a good job Toynbee isn’t black otherwise everybody would be reported to Plod for ‘racism’ for disagreeing with her. I suspect Lee Jasper is the same. Anybody who disagrees with him will be a ‘racist’. Because he ‘feels’ it. Which is all the ‘evidence’ it needs to be true thanks to Labour brilliantly crafted law.

      The only safe thing is to not talk to block people at all. Although that’s probably racist too. So, basically you can’t win. Even if you agree with them 100% that’ll be open to interpretation as ‘patronizing’ and therefore da da ‘racist’.

      No wonder N*ick Gr*if*in does so well in Labour constituencies.

      • 250
        The Morality of Blair says:

        Im not “comfortable” with what you have posted, and makng someone “uncomfortable” is amongst the most serious crimes that can be committed theses days. Therefore I sentence you not to death because we dont believe in the Death penalty as some innocent person may be executed by mistake at some point in the future, but rather to be part of an Afghan wedding party which is certain to be spattered to fuck by our bombing campaign which is unfortunate but you know such is life.

        • 252
          jgm2 says:

          That’s nothing you fucker. I’m ‘disappointed’. And that trumps everything except ‘racism’. Including ‘uncomfortable’.

    • 261
      You Know What's Coming says:

      So he reports everyone to whom– the police who are “institutionally racist,” according to the Leftie gospel? The only thing more ludicrous than Lee Crapper’s empty threats of his own being made, is the fact that the Plod would probably be prevailed upon, were he actually to go through with it, to have to investigate, and upon turning up nothing, would be accused of a WHITEwash.

  70. 255
    For Diane FlabBot says:

    Hiya, honey.

    This vid from 1968 is fulla British people (some of them whited-up) an it looks like they wanna kill each other , don’t it ??

    Don’t forget , darlin : this woz 44 years ago , FlabBot , honey x .

    Thank fuck we’s progressed from those dark black an white olden days , eh , honey ???

  71. 257
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  72. 258
    Ed was on Blackbusters says:

    Now Labour MPs call on hapless Ed Miliband to ‘get a grip’

    Rik Henderson, below, a contemporary from North London’s Haverstock School, said: ‘I remember a teacher saying, “Ed is going to be on Blockbusters.”

    ‘Ed was not the sort to want attention, but the teacher was very proud. I remember rushing home to watch him on TV.
    ‘He looked and sounded exactly as he does now. If I remember rightly, he was wearing a bow-tie.’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2083700/Now-Labour-MPs-hapless-Ed-Miliband-grip.html

  73. 263
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Heaven help us, the left are on the run, good….married and four young boys, I despise what we have come on to….Dave is all well and good but we need a serious right-wing party/leader that will rid us once and for all of the left-wing bias that infects every area of my life.

  74. 266
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

  75. 267
  76. 269
    Cupid Stunts says:

    Lee Jasper and Diane Abbott play the black card to the max. FFS is every policeman in the UK supposed to protect them from their own stupidity?

  77. 271
    Tring Tring says:
  78. 276
    Hypocrite says:

    ‘Divide and rule’ Diane Abbott sent son to £6,000 private school in Ghana

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2083704/Divide-rule-Diane-Abbott-sent-son-6-000-private-school-Ghana.html

    • 288
      Some Geezer wot can tell when the ball goes into touch says:

      Diane Abbott tacitly admits that UK schools would not prepare her son for University by doing so. What she also tacitly admits is that for people of privilege such as herself, education is a quid pro quo, if you have enough quid. Her support of the SOS Kinderdorf system can be spun as being admirable, and her “African diaspora” bona fides burnished, by sending her son to the SOS school in Ghana. But in fact, those schools there are set up in a way to cream the top students off from those they educate in their lower grades through their Children’s Village orphanages, with those able to afford the tuition charges (i.e. the wealthier Ghanaians and foreigners) subsidising the others. It is by no means any kind of democratic institution Ms Abbott’s son attended, in the sense of uplifting all Ghanaians. Once again the Left are shown to be hypocrites who know what’s better for you than you do and will enforce that vision whilst exempting themselves from its effects. As a prominent pseudo-intellectual once observed, they’re just nicer people. (And deserve different treatment because of that.)

      And so to bed, like Samuel Pepys.

  79. 280
    K K K Grand Wizard says:

    I feel amongst friends here.

  80. 287
    Anonymous says:

    Miliband can do what he likes , he’s a no mark

    However, disabled people are not so lucky. Even though the government states that fraud/error in the system is only 2.2% and that it has gleafully saved £3M since April 2011 – they continue to harrass all disabled people as part of their ‘cleansing’ (their word) of the system

    http://tcell.org.uk/blog/incapacity-benefit-review-0

    what we are seeing now is unashamedly disablity cleansing – and too many disabled people have taken their own lives than endure the stress of governent investigations … people are no longer people, they are economic units

    All MPs have now privvy to an £8000 lunch subsidy per year – which is more than most disabled people receive in a year!!!!

    Who’s the nazis now??????

  81. 304
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Step aside Superman here comes SuperEd (not to be confused with Superted) man of steel. Able to leap the OXO building in a single bound.

  82. 312
    God says:

    The best way to re-launch Little Milliband would be to launch him into outer space! However, this no-hope “leader” of the no-hope Labour party is going in one direction only and it’s not up!!!

  83. 316



Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messier | Dan Hodges
We Should Honour Victims | Bob Blackman
Bad Al Campbell Spinning for Portland | PR Week
HuffPo’s House Jihadi | Washington Free Beacon
Osborne Gets His Soundbite | Nick Robinson
Moonbat versus Chomsky | Charles Crawford
Beecroft is “S**t” | LibDem MP
News of the World Trailed Watson’s Mistaken Mistress | Indy
Shabana Mahmood MP Saves Brum Market | ITV News
Plan a Velvet Divorce for the €uro | Gideon Rachman
Truth About Romney’s Bain “Vampire Capitalism” | Wall Street Journal
Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC

Previously Seen


Peter Botting



Iran’s military chief-of-staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi…

“The Iranian nation is standing for its cause and that is the full annihilation of Israel”.



The last Quango in Paris says:

Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.



Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives








RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads