Get Your Guidogram
This week has been a bit of a laugh at Ed Miliband’s expense and we’ll be rounding up his and Diane Abbott’s week in the Guidogram as well as reflecting on how too many Twitters really do make a twat. Subscribing to the Guidogram makes sure that you get emailed Guido’s weekly round up of the week. Thousands of Westminster insiders like Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis get it. Join her and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. It is going out shortly…
You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…
UPDATE: Too late, it has gone out. Maybe next week?
I bet Emily Maitlis gets it
Told you so. Too many Tweets do make a Twat but Ed and Di were already prize Twats anyway.
Dave, shouldn’t you be setting up a SatNav Czar or Bedpan Czar, rather than wasting your time here?
Bet you can’t wait for Izzy to set up US/UK for war breakout with Iran, Syria,… so you can get back to genocide and world statesmanship.
bag of oats?
Neigh.
You resemble that remark.
Just as long as Emily doesn’t confuse our Guido with this lad, I think we’re safe as to whether she “gets it” or not:
http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/368417/941267.jpg
Good likeness.
If a White person get murdered is it not commercial
BBC reporting on Red Ed’s fuck up, hilarious! Now reporting Red Ed games hows on Twitter!
The Beeb and the Graun seem to be abandoning Ed to his ignominious fate.
I use black cabs a lot. A large proportion of black cabbies have knuckle-dragging, pig-ignorant racist views.
- Harry Cole, Bow, 06/01/2012 15:56
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Seems like neo Guido is puuting himself about a bit judging from this comment in the Evening Standard on Abbott’s latest racist rant.
It is a must read every week Guido and Neo Guido
PS my behinds in front of you, isn’t it Guido?
Fake.
Only me, Billy. I knew you wouldn’t mind.
No, I think Billy is behind Guido stalking him, quite innocently you understand, his eyes filled with adoration (at least judging from his posts)
I hope that the first post was also a fake!
No Ball!
Out LBW. (Lunatic Being Witless)
I lick to give credit where credit is due, and Guido and especially Neo are great
“I lick to give…” Oohh, you are awful: but I like you!
BILLY, sit up and listen.
“lick” is what you do to lollipops
“like” is the feeling you get when you approve of their taste.
Guido, I don’t think your tagline means what you think it does. “Either you’re doing better than Guido or you’re doing worse.” Well, yes. It doesn’t mean Guido is any good, though.
I suppose “being in front” refers to staring at a screen all day.
Does she sit and talk with her body guards or does she pretend they are not there?
Sadly Sarah suffers from a form of electronic Tourettes syndrome. Nothing can be done to help her, we can only wait and pray that the end comes soon. Her husband Gordon is doing everything in his power to speed things up.
We’re not moving, Mrs. Brown. You walking down the aisle is giving the impression of movement, dear.
We’re not actually moving, madam. You walking up and down the ailse with your fucking phone is giving you the impression of movement.
Understand that a ‘Bigmon’ whatever that is, had to throw her off a train only the other week.
It’s “aisle”, you dolt.
Leave my train set alone !
She cannot spend all her time posting to her twitter account, surely, does she crave publicity or something, maybe the Brownies haven’t realised that Gordoon is no longer PM and just carrying as before. I have a Titter account but only been on it twice about 3 years ago very boring.
Train number One: North Queensferry to Edinburgh
Train number Two: Edinburgh to London
Train number Three : London to Canterbury
Arh, I see, it really is like another chapter in modern English of The Canterbury Tales
An she be a-comin to Canturberry, soone as she arrive I shal lett thee kno prezently.
I would tweet too with the iPad you mugs bought for me, but I don’t know how to do it and can’t spell either.
Boaz?
Does this mean that she came through Newcastle?
We should have been warned.
Hope the Curse of MacDoom doesn’t fall on the Toon.
Just think of the poor twats that subscribe to this mindless rubbish..mindless followers FFS!
Don’t follow her mindless tweets…watch and listen to genii..1.5 million views and rising..
*waves to Emily*
Really.
Consider the water…
I’ll tell you a story about it.
I’m all ears, dear.
When I was 18 or 19, it seemed that I could drink unlimited amounts of alcohol and rarely even suffered a hangover.
So I wasn’t looking to escape from it, just curious about its cause and effect. A (male) friend and I decided that we would go out drinking one night but not have anything alcoholic. But we wanted to see if we could replicate the feeling of drunkenness, or at least merriment. OK it wasn’t water but bitter lemon or such like. Unexpectedly we managed to achieve our objective, have an enjoyable evening, feel half pissed and save a good deal of money as well.
Two things. It would not have worked had we not been really pissed often before. And we never tried it again. But it was a good experiment and did inform us mush better about how alcohol and mental state of mind combine. I am off to have a real drink now.
Just a thought.
Interesting and informative. Have a good one.
There was of course a famous experiment where the participants were informed they would be given alcohol and their subsequent behaviour studied. Unbeknown to the group, only half of them in reality would receive alcohol whilst the remainder would be given non alcoholic drinks.
At the conclusion of the experiment after many drinks had been consumed all the participants were observed to be pissed and all partipants reported feeling drunk.
Red Ed giving clear orders to his minions
hahahahahaha
classic
Poor militwit. You have to feel sorry for him. He is proving as accident prone as gordon and I didn’t think that was possible.
I think it’s hilarious
Michael Foot
Neil ‘hello boyo ‘ Kinnock
Some bloke who dropped dead
A mental liar warmonger
A one eyed jock halfwit
Now a mong
That’s my boy !
Guido, why would you want to boast that Emily Maitlis, the PC, Guardian loving, works for a BBC news/politics programme and is therefore a left-wing loony, reads it? Surely that is the kind of riff-raff you would rather not have as a subscriber?
http://twitpic.com/83z0ez
THE COUP HAS STARTED….
What’s that Billy, another Save the Panda group?
This why Guido likes Emily
http://hotnewsreaders17.blogspot.com/2010/11/sexy-newsreader-emily-maitlis-exposing.html
I’m not and have never been a man!
rotten oul tits.
So Dennis has not always had that accent he uses now. interesting.
Looks like Maggie from behind
No but he’s had the same jacket!
I never realised that Robin Day had had his naughty Naughtie moment, beating him to it by many years
Diane Taxi?? Don’t you mean B L A C K C A B
Disappointed.
Just been announced that the NHS will not pay for woman to get their tits out.
women.
According to Sky News ticker, the NHS will remove them.
So the private clinics and their insurance companies can breathe a sigh of relief.
Ah – clarification – only NHS fake tit patients will have access to NHS removal.
Lol ………. Silly-cones
Oh I see. So hopefully only those who had a genuine need (Of course they are out there) – or could convince a psych that it would be good for their self esteem will get reboobed(I think this term should be in the OED)
Private patients will have to sue then…
Lansley’s on now and it appears that yes indeed, after all, non-NHS patients might be able to have their hurting hooters hollowed out for free.
From political betting
@Ed_Miliband
Sad to hear that Bob Holness has died. A generation will remember him fondly from Blackbusters.
Twitter silence on Dianne Abbott and then a cracking typo on his initial tweet. NB. Now corrected to Blockbusters.
Apologies – this is a spoof account.
His own Shadow Cabinet is now laughing at him…
HackneyAbott
@Ed_Miliband who are you calling a Blackbuster?
https://twitter.com/dpjhodges/…
https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23edmilibandgameshows/grid/photos
https://twitpic.com/show/thumb/
https://twitpic.com/show/thumb/83y0na
I firmly believe in power to the black people… 120,000 volts should do it.
Could be that I infected you with something
Urgent Press Release to All Editors
Ed Miliband’s next public appearance to be at the London Palladium, followed by a residency at the Comedy Store.
What puzzles me is why Black cabs will not pick Diane Abbott up.
I suspect the cabbies find her political views too extreme.
I doubt it……. it is more of a weight problem !
They do have standards you know.
:Suspended-from-Political-Betting-because:
I was waiting for the appropriate moment to go off-topic and – unsurpisingly – Ash gives me the opportunity! Anecdote from today…:
Me and my mate [served in Whiskey 45 Commando] were travelling to work when he noticed my forehead furrow. I was looking at what seemed to be a 1.5 tonne Land-Rover ambulance kitted-out in the local emergency-service livery.
I was then told about the requirements of the Geneva Convention, and the fact that ‘entities’ within The Netherlands where breaching them. I thought it was a mis-translation.
Lo-and-behold, on Radio Veronica (just now), an English announcer quotes the said part of the Convention. Freck: There must be some really fecked-up people in The Kingdom.
And then I thought: Did not the same happen in North London last year (much to the glee from Wohdger)? So, and in keeping with Ms Fatbutt’s mantra that ‘the Whites should not divide the “Black” [sic] Community’ – and to keep on the right side of Grasper Jasper – can I hereby announce that all ‘blacks’ have breached the Geneva Convention and should be sent to The Hague forthwith…?
Individualism is dead: Long live the tribe! [Fenians display the same mentality.]
Pardon?
Read it thrice to no avail
So two degenerates from the Congo decide to beat a young boy to death because he was a “witch”. Shocking? Yes. Equally shocking that it happened in England. Why are the fuckers here anyway – they’re Congolese. Why do we offer an open invitation to the scum of the world?
To rub the Right’s nose in it. http://tgr.ph/9Wea0S
It has happened in England before, but sanctioned by the state.
Though it was a few years back…
If our ancestors, crawling out of the Dark Ages, could see that we’d ultimately p!ss-away all the progress they made, I doubt they would have bothered.
There are some people who believe witch hunts never REALLY died out…
Happy Birthday Stephen Hawking.
70 today.
Given two years to live back in the 1960s.
Changed physics forever.
“Given two years to live back in the 1960s.”
Definitive proof that the NHS has always been shit.
Incidentally, it’s Elvis’s birthday on Sunday. And David Bowie’s. Have you ever seen the two of them in the same room, at the same time? Eh? Makes you think, doesn’t it?
Love the “Puppet Show + Dread Zeppelin” video:
At least our fans brought some sandwiches, Derek.
It was so long ago I can’t remember how long they gave me.
Bwaaa haaa haaa! Some tea came out of my nose.
V. funny, you nutcase.
Am having a lovely rest in Kiseljak.
The water is very special here and is noted for producing sustained tumescence.
Will be back when I am declared totally fit.
Changing physics forever is no mean feat. Hats off to the bloke.
Wonderful Frampton.
Unusal gold run from Ed , blackbuster champion 2012
Eds tweets
Really pleased at how news went today on assisted dealing, had plenty of charlie , I think they bought it in Hackney .
Gold ? Sold !
I almost forgot the ruins similar classic “Obama beach”
Diane Abbot is famous for standing up for the disadvantaged and sufferers of racial discriminiation, but I notice she has said absolutely nothing about Blacks going insolvent today!
On the glue?
Why are you so hostile to me today
“Women who had their PIP breast implants on the NHS will be able to to have them removed and replaced after consultations with their doctor, the Government says.”
“Saves silicone going up in smoke upon cremation
But we need to re-cycle all these tits”
Why does the NHS do breast implants, FFS?
Next you’ll be telling me they do tattoo-removal.
Do they still do anal-bleaching?
Yes I believe so but they now use Neto own brand due to the Tory cuts although I can recommend their sex change ops and breast implants.
Still widening the circle of your friends Peter?
It seems the employees of at least one NHS hospital are trying to reduce the burden on society.
I thought all NHS
deathcampshospitals did that.Dodgy tits can be recycled and turned into MPs standing in safe Labour constituencies.
Is that silicon valley they are on about?
I’ll have a wonk please, Bob.
geet lush like……. flaps oot for the lads
mmm is it “soiled” mmm Loam geddit … oh ill get me coat
“Too late, it’s gone out.”
Find the matches and re-light it, then.
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/isnt-there-an-example-of-what-diane-abbott-tweeted-about-right-under-our-noses/
Diane Abbott has caught hell, but in fairness, isn’t there a glaring example of what she tweeted about right under our noses?
Please don’t block me Dianne.
I wonder if Jamaica will want all their Yardies back now?
Send de boogers back…. geet gud like
Are yee meckin on yar a Geordie, canny lad?
Neebody naas what yar on aboot, man.
Bring ‘em on– me posse saht ‘em out quick.
…as was indicated in the communique after the ‘veto’ meeting … and which not one journalist wanted to ask about.
I have a feeling this is the moment David Cameron’s “honeymoon” starts to fade into history.
Seems that while the husband of Jacqui Smith was viewing porn Jacqui had her ear to the Archers,12 right on Celebrity Mastermind and dare I say,not taking advantage of the subsidised meals in the Palace of Westminster she does look like she has lost weight or is that just poverty.
Correction the brass got 14 but didn’t do so well on general knowledge only 12 but it was enough to win might be all she’ll be winning for a while.Certainly lost some weight she might want to have a word with fat Abbott.
Jacqui Smiff on Celebrity Mastermind is fucked, she’s never had John Humphries ask her a difficult question before.
And as you’ve all been good boys today here’s a little something for the weekend, she’s the only ‘red’ I’d ever vote for.
http://www.worldoffetish.com/solo-nylon-models/onlyallsites/amy-green-hose/06.jpg
Been to see The Iron Lady. It’s hard to believe anyone expected it to be a hatchet job. It actually borders on being a hagiography. It’s so uncritical that it’ll probably make a whole new generation who don’t know about her into Thatcherites. Meryl Streep has the Oscar in the bag.
Good, she deserves it, Mrs T is the best PM we have ever had. Unlike that one eyed Scottish lunatic.
The criticism is part of Millibands training as a future PM, he says. He has a plan!!!!!!
Turnip anyone?