January 1st, 2012

Hello 2012

As is traditional during the New Year low in news flow pundits are expected to predict the future. Recently Guido has been veering between pessimistic and apocalyptic on the economy. Not quite as apocalyptic as expecting  the world to end on December 21, 2012 as the Mayan calendar comes to an end and the winter solar solstice sees the alignment of the sun with the Milky Way to form a galactic equinox. Am betting that doesn’t mean the end of the world, and if it does, well no one will collect on that bet…

Guido’s predictions for this year:

  • Margaret Thatcher will outlive the €uro as we now know it. If one of the weaker countries doesn’t break free in 2012 it will just mean the crisis will drag on unresolved until 2013.
  • The probable Eurozone recession will be worse than the possible UK recession.
  • Inflation will drop sharply as the VAT hike falls out of the calculation but it will be stubbornly higher than many forecast. Savers will still face negative real interest rates. There will be no sign of the deflation predicted by Mervyn King since 2008.
  • There will be a collapse of another major European bank, arguably some have essentially collapsed already, it is just being hidden by governments and the ECB propping them up.
  • Boris will vanquish Ken Livingstone from frontline politics forever.
  • Ed Miliband will remain as leader of the Labour Party.
  • A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.

This blog, with the help of co-conspirators and readers, will in 2012 go on being Britain’s favourite political blog. Happy New Year…


276 Comments

  1. 1
    harry says:

    Billy Bowden to post second?

    Like

    • 24
      BillyBob... says:

      Thanks a f*cking bunch !

      Like

    • 71
      Handycock, Boss of Bosses, Portsmouth says:

      Happy New Year to all my many friends, particularly those in Moldova, Ukraine, Russia and Romanian Orphanages; will be seeing you all soon, with the UK and European taxpayer’s paying for our good times; no austerity here. Happy New Year to my ‘Boys’ and business colleagues in Portsmouth, plenty of planning permissions for your developments and immigrants coming to fill them in 2012 and lots of money to be made by all. Finally Happy New Year to all my Constituents; if there are any young girls among them with problems, do not hesitate to seek my help, as I take a ‘holistic’ approach to solving them.

      Like

    • 74
      Tony Blair says:

      I would just like to take this moment to remind you all that I’m filthy rich. I made full use of the expenses system then just shredded the paperwork, started illegal wars to get the yanks onside and now get paid millions to be the smiley face for their banks and I even get free 24hr protection courtesy of the mug English taxpayers.

      And there is nothing, nothing at all, you peasants can do about it. My greedy wife and I will continue to buy mansion after mansion from my ill gotten gains. I put the final nails of the coffin into England, I flooded it with immigrants, I let the banks go crazy, I gave away our powers to Europe and destroyed civil liberties. You think doing all that was easy? I deserve to live out my days in absolute luxury and Cherie deserves a new credit card to binge on every week.

      Like

      • 90
        Handycock, Boss of Bosses, Portsmouth says:

        Well said Tone. We are certainly benefitting from your enlightened policies, particularly those on immigration, here in Portsmouth. I would like to also send the thanks of my ‘Boys,’ all of whom, including me, have got very rich as a result. Boaz.

        Like

        • 187
          Tony Blair says:

          Not just you, old son.

          Every factory owner in the country now no longer needs to train or employ those hideous English people. Plus finding maids and servants is so much easier now – they really will work hard for slave wages which pleases Cherie no end. She endlessly reminds them that she is poor and working class too so they are lucky to be scrubbing our toilets.

          Still we won’t stop there. We must modernise Britain further. A good few million more from Turkey, India and China would I think culturally enrich the country further.

          Together we CAN and we will make England a green and pleasant mutli-cultural vibrant land of 100million serfs where nobody feels any belonging but will work all hours for peanuts and scrap over last bit of land and food – and just think of the rising property values and rents. Everyone’s a winner. Modernise. Future. Skills. Education. Education. Education.

          Must go, seeing accountant to sort out inheritance tax avoidance scheme.

          Like

        • 208
          Ahmed Ishmael (George of the Akash Restaurant) says:

          I have got another large batch coming over from the sub continent, next week Handy. Immigration issues and accommodation fixed as normal? Allah Akhbar!

          Like

    • 94
      AC1 says:

      >Inflation will drop sharply as the VAT hike falls out of the calculation

      But unemployment will continue to rise as the employment destroying VAT (and other taxes on employment) continues it’s wrecking of the economy.

      Like

      • 103
        Iloathlefties says:

        ………………and Huhne and his damn ugly ex wife will be charged and go to prison!!!!

        Like

    • 132

      Yes, Bill is certainly slipping, do you think it’s the booze?

      And Guido, you can do better than “A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.” We can all predict that, without even knowing who the MP is!

      Like

      • 265
        Spartacus says:

        not very likely is it?

        kicking, screaming and offering to pay back the public funds and . . . is more like it.

        pm and dpm
        – we have full confidence in this mp

        all his mates
        – it is a sad day for the country when such a hard working consensus politician is unreasonably ousted from his seat . . . .

        Like

    • 160
      Gordon Brown the Insane says:

      I will lead a re-vitalised Labour party to election victory & then save the United Kingdom after I’ve done a big plop plop.

      Like

  2. 2
    BillyBob... says:

    Happy New Year y’all :)

    Like

  3. 3
    Bogey Nights says:

    Like

  4. 5
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Coalition breaks up.

    Tories win landslide May Election.

    I wish :-)

    Like

    • 35
      Dud says:

      Boris will be panting to get the leadership of the tory party, he’s justing picking his moment – Good Bye London Mayor status – it just keeps him in the public eye.

      Like

  5. 6

    Of course, as a socialist i am thoroughly opposed to the Monarchy but i recall dinner at the palace, during the Queen`s silver jubilee. I was seated next to the Queen Mother, who graciously deemed to speak to me. “And how is your little Dizzy,” she asked. Smiling, i replied “Dont you call my wife, that, you toothless old b*tch.” How Prince Philip did laugh!!

    Like

  6. 7
    Tony says:

    I guess everyone else must have a hangover still

    Like

  7. 10
    MrAngry61 says:

    My prediction? (Max Keiser’s really) –

    The UK faces a sterling crisis in early 2012.

    Happy New Year everyone!

    Like

  8. 15
    aboukir says:

    Surely Guido can’t be losing faith in justice ? Wot – no resignation by Huhne…

    Like

    • 229
      The Pundit Two says:

      Wot!
      No Huhne or the Pilgrims?
      Nothing on Germany, Brazil, China, Russia, Falklands and Nigeria?
      Listening to the so-called pundits on BBC radio 4 there were few stretching issues, so they put their P45 ahead of sagacity.

      Like

  9. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i predict the tfat politicons will steal our money and freedoms and That Neo Guido will still have the greatest hiar in the politcal blogging world.

    Happy new year :-)

    Like

    • 41
      there's something about Hаггу says:

      I’ve watched some Guy News reports and I think that Hаггу’ѕ diction needs a bit of working on Billy.

      Like

  10. 18
    Anonymous says:

    “A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.”

    That’s a given anyway, it’s which one that matters on the betting markets. Hope you’ve got a hot tip for the New Year.

    Like

  11. 19
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Is that a Conservative minister or a Coalition minister? Dave has an unenviable record of protecting his chums from the consequences of their actions – Spelman and Wiggins are still with us.

    Like

  12. 26
    Dick the Butcher says:

    Fell off my chair larfing at the paper review on Sky last night.
    Sunday Gaurniad reports “Labour concern at biased BBC” ffs.

    Like

    • 31
      BillyBob... says:

      Some floozie reviewer agreed with the story, wtf ??

      Like

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      Are these fuckwits not aware that there are whole websites devoted to tracking BBC bias in favour of the left? The reason there are no websites on the the opposite track, could mean to any reasonable person that there is no bias in favour of the right.

      Like

      • 48
        labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        That’s the very reason that this disinformation story has been launched, by the Bbbc and the lie boore party.

        Wasn’t there a word for it during the second world war?

        Things that are discused on blogs were begining to filter through to the man in the street, it’s patently obvious who’s behind it and why.

        Lies, damned lies, and leftie disinformation.

        Like

      • 105
        Really? says:

        In other news, recently-released files reveal that a Mr Joseph Goebbels, of Berlin’s Wilhelmsstrasse, complained repeatedly about the persistent ‘anti-Nazi’ bias in German media during the period 1933-1945.

        Like

    • 42
      BBC - biased towards power says:

      Everybody thinks the bbc is biased – Tories complain about its ‘pro-euro, pro-immigrant, pro-union’ output, the left complains about its ‘pro-royal, pro-religion, anti-union (“union threat/management offer”) output’.

      The reality is that it’s the mouthpiece of the establishment – left and right – and thus embodies its prejudices, hangups and worldview.

      Like

      • 55
        Anonymous says:

        That would be OK, but I’ve never really noticed it’s, ‘‘pro-royal, pro-religion, anti-union’ , output, tbh. Perhaps these complainers think they should be actively anti-royal, anti-religion and pro-union, instead of at the moment supporting these views by omission and implication in their editorial stance.

        Like

        • 77
          BBC - biased towards power says:

          Depends how you look at it. Having royal correspondents, devoting days worth of coverage to one family’s events might be ‘normal if you don’t care but excessive if you do.

          Likewise its fawning coverage of business won’t be a problem if you think this is how things should be done.

          It is blatently pro-EU, pro-Westminster, pro-not rocking the boat. Why would it be otherwise when it represents the Establishment?

          Like

          • Pawn Sandwich says:

            They are also a piss poor broadcaster. They deserve Manchester and Glasgow.

            Like

          • Pawn Sandwich says:

            They are also a piss poor broadcaster. They deserve Manchester and Glasgow.

            Oops, have I just repeated myself? That was a free repeat.

            BBC repeats you have to pay for whether you watch them or not.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Right now, 3rd biggest story in world according to bbc is….

            “Duke [of Edinburgh] applauded on way to church”.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            I think the BBC cover Royal events quite reluctantly these days, but carry on bearing in mind their majority audience who actually pay the license fee, over 50’s. As for, ‘It is blatently pro-EU, pro-Westminster, pro-not rocking the boat,’ as I say, pro centralisation and big government, ie lefty.

            Like

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            I’m over 50 and I don’t pay the fuckers.

            Like

      • 99
        AC1 says:

        “Ah, well – I had been up for most of the night but I was doing this Five Live breakfast programme with our colleague at the time – it was a bloke called Peter Allen so – I had to get a bit of sleep, and I do remember I walked back into – we were broadcasting then from Broadcasting House in the centre of London – all very upmarket in those days – and the corridors of Broadcasting House were strewn with empty champagne bottles – I will always remember that (Allen laughs) – er – not that the BBC were celebrating in any way shape or form (Allen, laughing – ‘no, no, no, not at all’) – and actually – I think it’s fair to say that in the intervening years the BBC, if it was ever in love with Labour has probably fallen out of love with Labour, or learned to fall back in, or basically just learned to be in the middle somewhere which is how it should be – um – but there was always this suggestion that the BBC was full of pinkoes who couldn’t wait for Labour to get back into power – that may have been the case, who knows ? but as I say I think there’ve been a few problems along the way – wish I hadn’t started this now…”

        Jane Garvey BBC Radio Five Live

        Like

    • 43
      MrAngry61 says:

      CiF

      zapthecrap

      31 December 2011 09:40PM

      This is about bloody time the BBC was a mouthpiece for the coalition whilst they negotiated Browns removal via constant slurs as to his character.

      They remain almost irrelevant and far short of their independent remit.

      644 recommends so far…

      Like

      • 75
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        The BBC should just fuck off and die.

        Like

      • 83
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Well, they did televise Brown’s reaction to the “bigoted woman” tape while being interviewed on 5 live, I think it was. That remains my favourite clip of Brown’s cataclysmic 2 years. Second is Brown ushering VPOTUS into a broom cupboard.

        Putting aside Zapthecrap’s total disregard of basic English grammar and syntax, which makes the sentence ambiguous to say the least, the response is what you’d expect from the Comment is Censored faithful. I fully expect Gordon Brown T-shirts to be outselling Che Guevara T-shirts in time for the ’15 election.

        BTW, has anyone worked out what this “Peterloo” motive appearing on the avatars of the more loony bloggers on CiF is all about?

        Like

        • 100
          AC1 says:

          CiF

          Censorship
          is
          Flourishing.

          Like

        • 180
          HappyUK says:

          The Peterloo motif is I think some lefty-inspired cobblers, based around the time the paper was founded on May 5th 1821 to support social reform in the aftermath of the Peterloo massacre in Manchester.

          Whatever.

          The fact remains that the ‘progressive’ Guardian continues to avoid paying its fair share in tax.

          Like

    • 210
      MB. says:

      Isn’t it the standard reaction of any party that is trouble to blame the media in general or BBC. The Conservatives have done it in the past. Much easier than admitting what a disaster Milliband is.

      Like

      • 223
        bergen says:

        When I first saw that Ed was whining about BBC bias against him , I did just wonder whether I had misjudged him and that he had a sense of humour after all. But it seems that he means it…..

        Like

  13. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Ed Miliband will remain as leader of the Labour Party.”

    Rejoice!!!!

    Like

    • 95
      Goddess, Empress, Dictator Frau Merkel says:

      My Karachi Miliband poodle will continue to manage the Labour Party under my instruction.

      Like

  14. 36
    Tachybaptus says:

    Should auld resentment be forgot,
    and carelessly put down?
    We’ll save a cup o’ paraquat
    for auld Gord Brown.

    Like

    • 204
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      VG.

      Trouble is, you can’t get paraquat over the counter any more. I believe councils etc. can still use it, though.

      Like

  15. 37
    Number 10's cat says:

    Happy New Year to one and all :-)

    Like

  16. 38
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Is this gen or fake?

    Like

  17. 39

    I predict everything’s going to get worse, the lefty dullards will keep blaming Thatch, the EuroBastards will keep pinching our money/our grandchildren’s money to keep their Reich afloat, the world *won’t* end on the winter solstice but we’ll probably wish it had.

    And I further predict that this hangover will last till Tuesday.

    Like

    • 47
      Anonymous says:

      ‘Investment’ in a political ideology is never a good idea, history has shown us that time and again. These fuckers will never learn.

      Like

  18. 40
    Oswald Kirk says:

    “A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.!”

    Only one?

    Like

  19. 45
    Engineer says:

    Happy new year to Guido, Mrs Fawkes and the Fawkettes, Neo-Guido and all the regulars.

    Making predictions is a bit of a mug’s game unless you have inside information, but that won’t stop me. I predict that energy policy will slowly, quietly and without publicity shift away from all this green nonsense to a more pragmatic approach. At least one nuclear power station construction project will get the nod, as will further exploration of shale gas reserves. There will continue to be much hot air about wind farms, but less actual building of them. All this will probably accelerate when Huhne leaves the cabinet.

    Like

    • 61
      Get orf my land says:

      Wind farms are clearly BS, but it’s not ‘green nonsense’ if you happen to live in an area selected by the state and its mates to be the next nuclear power station or fracking site.

      Like

      • 73
        Engineer says:

        I’d far rather live near a nuclear power station than a wind farm. They’re both unsightly, but the nuclear station is far more compact and far more effective at generating electricity. As for fracking, that’s a few drilling rigs for a few months, then you’ll hardly know it’s there. Bit like the high-pressure gas distribution network currently in operation all over the country (bet you didn’t even know there is one).

        Like

        • 86
          Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

          + 1000, if you are going to sound off about the difference between windfarms and nuclear power stations get your facts right first otherwise join the Huhnes

          Like

        • 92
          Get orf my land says:

          How would gas be distributed otherwise?

          Nuclear’s great (‘with an impeccable safety record’ etc etc).

          Problem is, you can’t bet against the ‘Engineers’ (or rather employers of engineers) fukashima-ing it up can you? ‘Safe as houses’ they said, ‘we disinterested/doing it for the good of all’ types know what we’re doing”.

          Like

          • AC1 says:

            Fukashimna death toll ZERO
            German Organic Food death toll LOTS!

            For safety don’t live near organic produce

            Like

          • Get orf my land says:

            “Fukashimna death toll ZERO
            German Organic Food death toll LOTS!
            For safety don’t live near organic produce”

            Zero so far.

            What about the livelihoods and property affected?

            Like

          • Engineer says:

            The world death toll from construction, operation and maintenance of wind turbines exceeds that of nuclear power station (including fuel fabrication, reprocessing and waste disposal) construction, operation and maintenance.

            Make of that what you will.

            How many deaths due to coal mining? Due to oil extraction? There are about 3,500 deaths a year on the roads in the UK.

            Best to keep these things in proportion.

            Like

          • Get orf my land says:

            ‘The world death toll from construction, operation and maintenance of wind turbines exceeds that of nuclear power station (including fuel fabrication, reprocessing and waste disposal) construction, operation and maintenance’

            Source?

            Like

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            People are far more likely to be killed falling off a roof installing a solar panel than being killed by nuclear power.

            Watt for Watt, nuclear power is orders of magnitude safer than any other power source, even taking Chernobyl and Fukashima into account.

            I am an engineer, with no interest to declare regarding power generation, other than that I want it to be the safest.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Fukashima was hit with a tidal wave caused by the largest earthquake ever recorded and to date there has only been a tiny release of radiation. The Greens have yet to express any sympathy for the 22000 people who were drowned all they bleat about is the radiation leak. Do you think the families of the dead give a flying F**k about small radiation leaks.

            If you want details of industrial deaths have a look at the HSE website and if you want details of road deaths look at the DoT website; currently running at ~ 3500 per annum

            No one in the UK has died from radiation exposure since the first nuclear power station was commissioned in the early 1960s.

            Nulcear power is the cleanest and safest power source and address any issues surrounding geo-politcial restriction in supplies of oil and gas. Do you really want our futures dependent on the political situation in Russia and the Middle East.

            Like

      • 80
        Anon says:

        I used to live next to a nuclear power station, and contrary to popular opinion one does not grow two heads.

        Like

    • 184
      HappyUK says:

      I would much prefer that version of reality too, but my fear is that the new world orders will try to prevent Nuclear Power schemes that would create plenty of energy for everybody and eliminate the need for wars over resources.

      We really do have evil shits in power – wind farms are just a mechanism to prevent cheap, abundant energy production, keeping us proles in place and taxing us to buggery.

      Like

  20. 49
    a non says:

    Impossibilities for 2012.

    Billy will eventually place a short pearl of wisden without spellnig missteaks.
    Neo-G will relinquish a bottle of spirits for the caption competitions.
    Rich and Mark will place a recognisable cartoon.
    Gui-do will be allowed to tell Leveson all.
    Schrodingers cat will return announcing a litter of kittens.
    The moderation of pe@, ri-ce etc will be rescinded.
    We will all have a lousy year.

    Like

    • 88
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      I note you confine r&m to a recognisable cartoon. Presumably you also consider a funny cartoon beyond them?

      Like

  21. 50
  22. 51
    M says:

    Great news for the conservatives , Ed Milliband to remain leader

    Like

  23. 52
    a non says:

    Impossibilities.
    Billy will eventually place a short pe-arl of wisden without spellnig missteaks.
    Neo-G will relinquish a bottle of spirits for the caption competitions.
    Rich and Mark will place a recognisable cartoon.
    Gui-do will be allowed to tell Leveson all.
    Schrodingers cat will return announcing a litter of kittens.
    The moderation of pe@, ri-ce etc will be rescinded.

    Like

  24. 53
    • 65
      kipper says:

      Yawn, we’ve heard all this ‘tough on benefits scroungers’ before. Just piss and wind as usual.

      Like

  25. 56
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I predict that the Kilkardy coward will make an apperence in the HoC.

    I know it’s a bit far fetched but still within the relms of the possable.

    Like

  26. 57
    Gotcha says:

    There aren’t many Tory cabinet ministers.

    Spelman
    IDS
    Hague
    Greening
    Gove
    Osborne?
    Cameron?
    Warsi
    Lansley

    The rest are just pretend Tories or Liberals.

    So what has Billy Hague done then?

    Like

    • 85
      Dud says:

      A bit lightwight, except for Pickles..there’s a thought, “Eric Pickles in sex scandal”

      Like

      • 91
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        It worked for “two shags”. Obesity as a sexual turn-on, now there’s one for the Chief Medical Officer to produce some dodgy statistics about!

        Like

      • 200
        Rinka Scott says:

        I was doing a taxpayer audit of MPs expenses and noted that our Eric had claimed seven quid for a ‘survey’.

        I wrote to him asking for an explanation.

        Two years later still no reply!

        Like

  27. 62
    Dick the Butcher says:

    Have you noticed the astonishing likeness of Kim-il Young Porker to Ed ‘special needs’ Milliretard?

    Like

  28. 64
    East India Company wallah says:

    Come out?
    as what? a gayer?an atheist?an arsehole?a europhile?a liar?a two faced liar?a smoker?spineless cretin?a leftie?a lib dem?a cock?

    Like

  29. 66
    Phil says:

    Ed and Yvette after an extraordinary meeting of the Labour Party agree to sex change op in order for Ed now (Edwina) to win a safe seat on an all woman shortlist and Yvvette (Now Ivor) to replace Ed Millliband who unfortunately moved left instead of right whilst standing under a grand piano being lifted into a third floor window of his house.
    On a more serious note the economy will perform far better this year than the prophets of doom, led by the BBC and the usual culprits, would have us believe.

    Like

  30. 72
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC will tell us that Red Ed has all the answers

    The BBC will tell us Ed Balls has all the answers

    The BBC will tell us that Hattie Hatemen has all the answers

    The BBC will tell us that Yvette Cooper has all the answers

    The BBC will tell us John Prescott is slimmer of the year

    The BBC will tell us that only Red Ken can save London

    Cocaine and rent boy shagging at the BBC will rise 5000%

    Like

    • 76
      Engineer says:

      The BBC told us that the AV voting system was a Very Good Idea, and that the Euro was a Very Good Idea. A large majority voted against the first, and the second has never been especially popular in this country, and now appe*rs decidedly wobbly.

      So much for the BBC representing the views of the majority.

      Like

    • 135
      I don't need no doctor says:

      The BBC will tell us that the Christmas – New Year programmes were the best ever, and excellent value to the license fee payer. Mark Thompson and his cronies will tell us that they are worth much more than their current salaries.
      Everything the BBC do is great and beyond reproach.

      Like

    • 245
      This is mad Britain says:

      The bbc have one of the ugly Eagle sisters on saying “Conservatives must build hundreds of thousands of social housing units” – FFS no mention of 13 years of Labour inaction and completely unchallenged by the bbc interviewer. Plus ca change etc.

      Like

  31. 79
    the general public says:

    mmm, don’t think Ed prediction correct, he will be gone by Oct me thinks.

    Tory minister to resign in disgrace – that’s not so much a prediction, it’s a dead cert (do bears shit in the woods etc).

    Like

    • 93
      Ex-Labour voter says:

      With respect, I don’t think Ed will leave. For a start, dismal Labour leaders (Foot, Kinnock, Brown) don’t leave until they’ve lost a General Election. Second, his departure would make sense and Labour never do anything that makes sense. Thirdly, when Labour hear people saying, “Ed is a useless pillock”, their reaction is, “well you would say that, wouldn’t you?”

      Lastly, statistics showing the level of public contempt for Miliband will have no affect on a Party for which the terms ‘statistics’ and ‘lies’ are interchangeable. The Party that generates ‘statistics’ out of thin air to suit its agenda will always assume everyone else is equally mendacious.

      Like

      • 260
        the general public says:

        You are probably right, I foolish tried to apply some logic and common sense to my prediction……but this is politics

        Like

    • 137
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      Ed Milliband will announce his resignation on April 24th 2012 at 10am.

      Like

      • 205
        Rinka Scott says:

        When they were leaders of the opposition did you ever hear Thatcher calling for foot or kinnock to be sacked.

        Of course not.

        Plus ca change as they say in Germany

        Like

        • 274
          Huw Jampton says:

          Rinka Scott . . . Now, that’s a name I’ve not heard in many a year. My sister was once ejected from the Liberal Party comference for shouting ‘Remember Rinka!’ in the main hall . . .

          Like

  32. 81
    Michel de Notre-Dame says:

    I’m going way the hell out on a limb here with this prediction:

    Guido Fawkes, not content with bomb-throwing in UK politics, will “chance” across something juicy in the US Presidential Race. More likely some Yank blogger will hand it to him (of course), because the Yank, who is not necessarily afraid of a libel suit (but IS afraid of losing access) wants Guido to jump first. Guido will publish the story, which the mainstream media both British and American will at first ignore because “it’s THAT man again,” but will get picked up and will not be attributed to Guido.

    Stranger things have happened.

    Like

  33. 84
    Old Fish says:

    Vince will threaten to resign once again in 2012

    David Miliband goes on manoeuvres

    Growth will significantly exceed expectations much to the disgust of the BBC and Stephanie two Eds

    The heat will be turned up on the BBC’s lack of impartiality, leading to a high level resignation

    Balls and his missus go on manoeuvres

    Following her latest piece of shitty incoherent bile, Polly gets sectioned to a Tuscan asylum where she cuts off her right ear.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/dec/30/cameron-brutal-cuts-bleed

    Chucky looks in the mirror and sees himself as PM in waiting and leader of the world. He goes on manoeuvres

    Guardian ‘Cif’fers cut off an ear in solidarity with Polly

    The Murdochs relaunch the ‘News of the World’ in April

    Guardian ‘Cif’fers cut off their other ear in protest

    Like

  34. 87
    Old Grumpy says:

    Happy New Year to all! It is the 31st anniversary of my ONLY successful New Year’s Resolution….to give up smoking………

    It is the first year in Lord knows how many, that we have not had a full house for the New Year, so I managed to sleep through all the celebrations! Such is age………

    Bliss!……… and Bugger the UErozone!

    Like

  35. 97
    Edgar Cayce says:

    Here’s my prediction:

    Some MP whom nobody has ever heard of, least of all his/her constituents, will say or do something so fatuous that it cannot go unremarked upon. At which point, depending on which party, the Press which support the other party will call for his/her ouster immediately, as such behaviour cannot be countenanced in a free democracy, and his/her continued presence in the House mocks all our ideals. Subsequently a few days later, some racy headline involving some quasi-talented celebrity will grab the headlines, and Mr/Ms MP will be forgotten and will continue on in the obscurity they so richly deserve.

    I realise I’m going far out on a limb with that one.

    Like

  36. 101
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Miss Maud Dick complains to police aboutMP’s Nazi stag party

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2080827/MPs-Nazi-stag-party-Now-restaurant-boss-complains-police.html

    Like

    • 108
      Who's the bum boy? says:

      Like

    • 112
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Sounds about right Once the cheque has cleared
      Jump on the feckin band waggon
      Did she ask them to leave ? NO !
      Did she refuse to serve them ? NO !
      It’s funny in this country and i guess most other EU countries there are hundreds of people who dress up in SS/Nazi uniforms every weekend and walk around towns doing re,enactments So what is the problem
      The only people who seem upset by this seem to be The Germans , Their French Collaborators and a few sympathisers !
      Like this lot

      Like

      • 117
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        nd this lot is “Battle Group South” the Irish regiment , Taking part in German film about the life of the last surviving member of Hitlers Bunker team !
        Hmmmmmmmm !

        Like

      • 119
        Sven Hassel says:

        Seems to be a modern trend that people can’t take the piss out of Hitler or the Nazis. The Franco-German thought police are at work in Europe again,

        Like

    • 219
      Use a Pun, Go to Jail!, if you would prefer that spelling says:

      Any relation to Cressida? Or is she just plain “being a dick” about the whole matter?

      *(no rimshot, I promised CRMM)*

      Like

  37. 106
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Which Tory MP and what have you heard ?
    Come on i thought this was a site for “Plot’s rumour’s and conspiracy ”
    So stop pissing about and give us the rumour !

    Oh and there’s more chance of Cameron adopting the Euro than Little Ed remaining as Leader

    And as for Merv King Every prediction he’s ever made , He’s got wrong so it’s not really hard to predict that is it !

    Like

  38. 107
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Right the NHS is said to be the best healthcare system in the world, If so, why do we have so many people to “sick” to work?

    Like

    • 111
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Too Billy.

      Like

    • 123
      Anonymous says:

      Because from Thatcher onwards civil servants and politicians shoved as many people as possible onto sickness benefits so they could lie about the numbers being made unemployed by their disastrous policies.

      Like

      • 127
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Are you saying that Before Lady thatcher everything was perfect?

        Like

        • 150
          the ghost of jim callaghan says:

          Yes Billy we’d already had the so called ‘winter of discontent’ and everything was well on schedule to become a socialist shithole distopia. Please read your history.

          Like

        • 273
          Anonymous says:

          No dearie, just answering your question. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.

          Like

  39. 113
    Fake Blood says:

    Come on Guido, what about Gordon Brown and Robert Peston being outed for their illegal shenanigans over HBOS?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/banksandfinance/8985895/Former-Lloyds-bosses-to-be-sued-over-HBOS-takeover.html

    They can share a cell and Peston can get a real gimp, instead of treating the British public as his fantasy slave.

    Like

    • 244
      The Pundit Two says:

      BBC Radio 4 Toady Programme had that criminal Victor Blanc as Editor last week.
      They must still think that the british public do not know of his banking crimes and crass protestations of innocense

      Like

  40. 114
    Frankie GooGootz says:

    I predict that I will be joining the cast of Jersey Shore, if my American management, headed by Mr. Anthony Soprano, can make the necessary arrangements. I have every confidence in his abilities.

    Like

  41. 116

    In 2012, the CPS will come to a conclusion that it is no longer able to make decisions. The binary nature of whether or not to prosecute is far to demanding for any mortal being.

    A marketing man suggests that they use the same acronym to create Chipped Potato Supplies, the staple diet of 90% the UK, and their premises are converted and all staff retrained.

    They fail even to do this.

    Like

  42. 118
    New Year Wishes says:

    The euro crashes to an unplanned end leading to mass disruption, regime changes, and revenge on the European misruling class especially the liblabcons.

    Like

  43. 122
    !! says:

    This blog needs to up its game in 2012.

    Like

  44. 126
    grobdj says:

    Possible recession?

    Only because we are frantically planting subsidised wind turbines is GDP growth above zero.

    Like

  45. 129
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I predict the following.

    Tom Watson will remain a fat bastard hypocrite.
    The Chilcot Enquiry will be a whitewash. Tony Blair will be praised.
    The labour party will remain in denial, and be even more spiteful.
    The Leveson Enquiry will result in no action whatsoever.
    Ed Miliband will be even more useless.
    Ryanair will find another way of screwing money out of passengers. Why are Ryanair so stupid, just add somthing to the fare you dumb fuckers.
    Ed Balls will still be saluting like Adolf Hitler (flat lining jesture. Note the spelling of jesture, just for Balls.)
    Peter Hain will be even more Orange.
    Harriet Harman will be even more of a two faced sour faced bitch.
    The Eagle sisters still won’t wash their hair.

    Like

    • 159
      Anonymous says:

      “The Leveson Enquiry will result in no action whatsoever.”

      I thought that’s what we wanted, freedom of the press.

      Btw, I thought the Eagles were brothers.

      Like

      • 179
        I don't need no doctor says:

        On the Eagles you could well be correct.

        Like

        • 212
          Ripley's Believe It Or Else! says:

          Angela Eagle and Maria Eagle are a pair of twins, of dodgy moral rectitude, one KNOWN to be gay.

          Reginald and Ronald Kray were a pair of twins, of dodgy moral rectitude, one known to be gay.

          The difference is that the Krays were private sector crooks, who weren’t stealing taxpayer money directly just by virtue of showing up.

          Like

      • 225
        It doesn't add up... says:

        The Eagles were desperados who took it easy with a witchy woman one of these nights in the hotel California: after they took it to the limit they had a peaceful easy feeling before waking to a tequila sunrise.

        Like

        • 226
          It doesn't add up... says:

          Everything in moderation, of course…

          Like

          • Don Henley, of regatta fame as well says:

            Of course. No sense getting Frey’d, especially with the new kid in town. Your lyin’ eyes may tell you you can do it, but there’ll be a heartache tonight, I’m sure. I can’t tell you why, though.

            Like

    • 209
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Ryanair are not stupid – that adjective applies to those passengers who accept the deal and fly with them.

      It’s optional – if you take their deal, they’ve got it right. If you don’t like the deal, don’t fly.

      And if enough folk don’t fly with them, they’ll change the deal – that’s how a free market works.

      Like

  46. 133
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Gordon Brown will die in agony.

    More of a hope than a prediction really.

    Like

  47. 140
    Billy's uncivil partner and luv bunny says:

    I predict that I will take Billy up the aisle…..about 3 times a week.

    Like

  48. 144
    Rodney Dangerfield says:

    He-e-e-e-y, no respect– I predict Ed Miliband’s gonna get more respect than me, tells ya what shape I’M in…He-e-e-e-y, it’s a jungle, people…

    Like

  49. 149
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Vince says that Jeremy Clarkson is bound to open his mouth in 2012 (trained by the DoE)? Won’t be fired though, worth too much to the Beeb.

    Like

  50. 151
    Gordon Brown says:

    On 21/12/2012, I shall save the world again.

    Like

  51. 152
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I think I’m doing really well.

    I haven’t had a drink since last year.

    Like

    • 192
      Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes says:

      As W.C. Fields once announced, “As of January first, I won’t drink any more. Nor any less, as far as that goes.”

      Like

  52. 153
    A Biased Broken Broadcaster says:

    The clear alternatives are:

    1. Keep BBC but stop (so called) reporters talking to reporters. Opinions are not news. Will never happen!

    PLAN B+

    2. Close the Broken Biased Corp.
    Save cash for millions.
    Improve relations with Industry & bankers.
    Stop Thatcher bashing
    Stop that Flanders woman dripping on.
    Can buy 10 bottles of Scotch for the price of licence. (25 in Spain)
    East Enders dumped.
    Over paid presenters now on streets begging.
    The end of mincing chat shows.
    Stop news readers smiling when announcing deaths from Ganistan.

    You may add you own plus points to this list a/r ……………

    Like

    • 231
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      90% of BBC news output is simply BBC opinion be it climate change, politics or economy.

      The days of simply giving the people the FACTS and letting us make our minds up are long gone.

      Like

  53. 154
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish you all a happy new year.

    Like

  54. 157
    Andrew says:

    Your last prediction is cheating. Of course a Tory Minister will resign in disgrace. You might as well predict that the sun will rise in the East.

    Here’s a better one:

    HMT will strain to keep the September inflation low – whatever happens before and after – because that’s the one which triggers the increase in the index-linked pensions for which retired public sector employees paid during their working lives and which this Government would like to welsh on.

    Like

  55. 158
    Free money says:

    One safe prediction: Gordon will continue to not turn up to work while still collecting his MP’s salary.

    Like

  56. 161
    Gatso Flasher says:

    Wot no forecast on the Huhne?

    Like

  57. 162
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Open letter from Frederick Forsyth to Merkel.

    http://www.express.co.uk/ourcomments/view/289553

    Spot on Fred.

    Like

  58. 163
    Is this the Monster Mammaries blog? says:

    I predict I will not get a job checking dodgy breast implants.

    Like

    • 188
      Gordon Brown says:

      Have applied for the job of testing all the dodgy implants.
      But they want to know what experience I’ve got.
      Told them I have an (.) (.) levle in French and Biology and use silicone polish on the dining table.
      Buggers have decided to give the job to David Blunkett. Something to do with nipples and braille and me not having enough hands-on experience.

      Like

  59. 165
    Maker of the Mayan calender says:

    Hur Hur Hur……

    Like

  60. 171
    Lobster Throttler says:

    Just watched the scruffy unwashed eagle bitch refuse to comment on bob crowe living in social housing, fucking hypocrite cow.

    ps , i don’t capitalise the names of champagne socialist bastards.

    Like

    • 238
      Montgomery Cheddar says:

      Her and her sister both come across as gibbering retards, yet I’m told they both went to Oxford. Didn’t know the city of dreaming spires was also renowned for its special schools.

      Like

  61. 172
    Here are some of the coming highlights to look forward to from The BBC says:

    The Cuts! The Cuts!!!!! embed embed embed
    The ice caps are melting…. embed embed embed
    The Labour Party is just brilliant and really hasn’t ruined this country …. embed embed embed
    The EU is one happy family and we should see it as an honour to give them all our money- embed embed embed
    Rupert Murduch eats our children and as too much power (not like us…) hacking hacking hacking…. sorry I mean….embed embed embed

    That’s right, suck it up my little sponges, and because your so good I’m going to give you something you may actually want to pay a licence fee for…. bend over now boys and girls… ……..brace yourselves….. here comes my Eastender !!!! ( drum intro…)

    Like

  62. 173
    The Boss says:

    Guido is spot on regarding the removal of a Cabinet Minister my choice is Windbag Penning…WHO??….he who allowed an increase in the length of trailers which my Road Haulage industry rejected in a consultative process by a large majority of 6 to 1.Minister for Transport Windbag Penning is my candidate just wonder who paid him to go against a democratic consultative process.

    Like

  63. 175
    Apathy Rising says:

    It seems beyond the limited intelligence of world’s leaders but the most un-green thing you can do is reproduce, and yet I’ve heard not a peep on this.

    Wind turbines and solar panels make not a jot of difference if you’re increasing the number of consumers worldwide.

    With a diminishing local population the UK solution appears to be to import new consumers from low carbon areas to crank up our energy usage.

    I don’t proffer a solution. I just point out the hopelessly illogical strategies of people who seek to find complex and expensive solutions to problems that have much cheaper and easier solutions, that is, if the problem they perceive actually exists.

    Personally – I’m enjoying the warm Christmas.

    Like

    • 255
      c.eng says:

      Absolutely correct.

      This is the root cause of all problems, eco and economic, but because it’s not PC, it never ever gets a mention.

      When it does we might assume a rational human being has emerged.

      Like

  64. 181
    Jimmy says:

    “A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.”

    The sun will continue to rise in the east and set in the west.

    Like

    • 185
      Anonymous says:

      That’s rich Jimmy considering that Labour ministers don’t do resignation, or see it just as a sabbatical.

      Like

    • 214
      nellnewman says:

      “A Tory cabinet minister will resign in disgrace.”

      I’ve no idea who that might be. But I hope whoever it is, cameron applies some honour to the resignation and never lets him/her back in office.

      labours record in ministers resigning in disgrace and then coming back into another ministerial post a few months later was disgusting and destructive of trust in public life. And yes I’m sorry that does also apply to davidlaws.

      Like

  65. 183
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Any news on that lying shit Piers Morgan?

    Like

  66. 189
    Anonymous says:

    “in disgrace”-but does she have a good majority?

    Like

  67. 190
    Tachybaptus says:

    Telegroan headline: “Beast implant scandal victims: ‘It was hell, I thought I had cancer'”

    http://tinyurl.com/6ryafys

    Like

    • 195
      sorry, no sympathy for people who muck about with their bodies says:

      Er…nothing to do with her deciding to have a dodgy operation for dubious reasons then?

      Like

      • 217
        nellnewman says:

        +1

        That sort of surgery is all about lazy people who don’t want to look after themselves with proper diet and good exercise.

        How can women do that to themselves? Its disgusting.

        Like

    • 211
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      Those implants were approved by the French authorities, therefore UK had no choice but to allow their use under EU rules.

      Any costs of rectifying must be addressed to the French authorities or to Brussels – tell that to the no-win-no-fee lawyers queueing up to make a killing out of this case.

      Like

  68. 197
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Happy Easter!

    Like

  69. 198
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    My predictions for the year:

    1. Boris will beat Ken

    2. Labour will endure a year of unproductive hand-wringing with the majority of MPs wanting to be rid of Red Ed but lacking the collective will to perform the execution.

    3. A European national banking system that has not yet come under much scrutiny will be revealed to be practically insolvent – perhaps Austria or Belgium.

    4. Greece will default, exit the Euro and the normal democratic process there will be suspended because of civic unrest placing its EU membership under question

    Like

  70. 203
    Silicone breast milk is best says:

    All my kids have been brought up on silicone milk.
    Problems:-They are a bugger to get hold of.
    They are taunted at school as Slippy and Slimey
    They will not wear raincoats
    They both want to learn Polish.
    And refuse to use sledges

    Like

  71. 206
    Huhne is Innocent says:

    I predict we will see nothing of the Hutton report during 2012 although all outstanding expenses claims will be settled.

    Like

  72. 218
    nellnewman says:

    Hmm predictions for 2012?

    sarkozy will lose the french presidential election.

    obama will just scrape in (though I hope not, but the republican candidates are a load of old rope aren’t they?)

    militwit will be rechristened michaelfoot II

    And we might all be battered by the coming economic storm but we, in the UK, will survive as we have always done. Just ordering up my vegetable seeds from Thomson&Morgan for the Spring and stitching what’s left of my hard earned pension into my mattress.

    Happy 2012 Folks!

    Like

    • 224
      Nothing In Life Is Certain But Death and... says:

      Shouldn’t have said that last part, Nell; now HMRC know where to look when they raid you on suspicion of not paying tax on the canned produce you may give away to family and friends, if your veg seeds come through as you hope they will. “Right, Mrs Newman, you wish us to believe you just GAVE the stuff away. Right. Tell us another porky like the cheque is in the post, why don’t you?”

      Like

  73. 222
    • 227
      Doctor Beaker says:

      And this is politics?

      Like

      • 233
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (the original fake and the author of the winning line) says:

        So who sayes that you get to make the rules. Guidos blog, guidos rules. If you dont lick it feel free to take a full refund and fuck off.

        Like

      • 257
        Mike Mercury, no relation to Freddie says:

        Or what passes for it in these parts, anyhow.

        Like

  74. 236
    Anonymous says:

    2012 Guido and the ‘Moderators’ allow free speech!! Yeah and I believe in Father Christmas!!

    Like

  75. 243
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    my new years resolution was to improve my life by not Wanking in 2012. it was fun while it lasted

    Like

  76. 246
    David Wisteria says:

    I predict that in 2012 we will have a new Facist Leader in Europe.

    Like

  77. 248
    EU Wankers' World says:

    Don’t vorry mein kinderen, ve are zinking many vays to infect you vith Euro disease, of elf n’ safety, ‘uman rites, etc. to destroy all human endeavour and independence in ze ghastly uncontrolled Ango-sphere.

    You vill nefer escape ze dead hand of Euro Vanker Vorld

    Like

  78. 253
    not a machine says:

    Boris mix on last nights fireworks was about the best display I have ever seen , must have been pretty good to be there , however for sheer best fireworks had to be rio , given they had calm waters they could do some really big shells from boats (check out how high/wide some of star bursts were) .

    Predictions , I think all I can predict at the moment is that is very complex and the overeach has not begun to be corrected , which is a little unfortunate as they do not see the error of it . I am astonished next summit is still going ahead on basis of more FU . I enjoyed the new word made in last days of 2011 “fiscal slippage” for missed target .The mean speaking hasnt begun yet and a calm head will be needed as they seem to not have changed there minds and are bound by it . Even if they do service the 1trn euros by July still have to get deficets down . EU has not made any budget cuts , so I think recession is ineveitable in EU .
    Dont know about USA , as figures seem a bit unclear , if any bubbles are being made be a stupid thing to do ,

    Like

  79. 256
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Our Dave claims to be a life long passionate Aston Villa fan.

    The name ‘Deadly Doug ‘just happens to be on the Honours List.

    I always thought Dave was an arrogant stuck up conceited type but this is really taking the michael .

    My prediction is that by the end of 2012 there will be a file of papers with CPS relating to abuse of power charges gathering dust

    Like

  80. 261
    The wizz says:

    Mr G,
    You most defintely have your ear to the ground to predict a Tory MP will resign. However I think a few other MPs of different hues may well be in the same predicament, no names, no pack drill. Should be an interesting year especially if a few Peers are involved.

    Like

  81. 267
    John Galt says:

    Hmmm

    According to the Mayan calendar, the world is due to end on the day which would have been my late (and formidable) grandmother’s 100th birthday!

    Like

  82. 268
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Here are some of my predictions:

    Guido will gain some more scalps this year. A couple of Labour and maybe a Tory and/or Lib Dem.

    However, a scandal (perhaps relating to funding) will rock the Miliband boat.

    Potential revelations from Libya will haunt certain senior Labour Party members.

    Tom Watson will begin to wish he had kept his mouth shut. But he won’t. He’ll just make it worse for himself, becoming more marginalised.

    The Pilgrim scandal will unravel for a few Labour/union stalwarts as the FIA requests for information on Pilgrim payments have some unexpected developments as skeletons of one kind or another start coming out of various closets.

    There could be a scandal involving a leading Labour academic or three.

    Like

  83. 270
    The Doddering Old Fart says:

    Mayan Calendar my arse. I’m having an All Day Breakfast at Morrisons on December 21st as always. And don’t think your electricy bill wont turn up in January 2013 because it F’ing well will. This Brandy’s strong. Well I’m off to bed. Bollocks to it.
    F’ing politicians.

    Like

  84. 275
    Huw Jampton says:

    My money’s on Hague . . . Guido’s probably been doing a lot of research / evidence-gathering ever since Hague got away with it by the skin of his, er, teeth last time . . . mark my words.

    Like

  85. 276
    Anonymous says:

    Wot – no prediction about Huhne?

    Like


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Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
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VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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