December 30th, 2011

Toffs Taxing the Poor More

Minimum alcohol pricing won’t affect champagne drinkers, it will hit those on lower incomes. Again.

Regressive taxes aren’t just about forcing up the price of supermarket booze, it was putting up VAT – a mistake that boosted inflation which was already above target and hit consumer spending when it was already weak. Unquestionably that was a regressive tax. Even the usually austerity friendly IMF cautioned against the VAT hike.

The squeezed middle aren’t spared either. Air Passenger Duty means that a family of four flying to America for their annual holiday can pay up to £587 in taxes. The Fawkes family fly back and forth to Ireland regularly spending more on air taxes than on air tickets. UK subjects pay more in air taxes than all the rest of the EU’s citizens – combined. It won’t bother the Chancellor on his £10,000 skiing holiday weeks, but those of us in the private sector, not on benefits, reckon he could do more to cut spending and the tax burden. It is called a growth strategy…


  1. 1
    Jabba the Cat says:

    More social engineering bullshit from Camoron…

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    its well outta of order while they spend our taxes on sibsidised bars.

    Hang them!

  3. 3

    The Beast is hungry. The Beast must be fed. Big Government don’t come cheap. Now empty your pockets…

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Lomax says:

    Did I beat Billy?

  6. 6
    Lomax says:

    Clearly not!

  7. 7
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    time to start a e-petition to get the subsidised bars in the Palace of westminster closed?

    If we are not allowed cheap booze then why should they?

  8. 8
    Al Capone says:

    I keep telling you, if what you REALLY want is for people to drink less alcohol, make it illegal. Works for me!

  9. 9

    Home brew beer is 30p a pint and a bottle of home made wine 60p. Now where are the damsons?

  10. 10
    Mark T says:

    and make them comply with the smoking ban while they are at it. If it’s good enough for us……

  11. 11
    Barry says:

    Perhaps rather than single salvoes at individual taxes, the public should launch an attack on a broad front against regressive taxes. Any talk of looking after the poor is rubbish whilst the politicians tax them off the road, out of the skies, off the bottle, forcing them to make ferry runs to France. Let’s make 2012 #notoregressive taxes.

  12. 12
    Pieces of Eight says:

    Has this site been hacked by The Mirror?

  13. 13
    Archer Karcher says:

    The thin veneer is Tory, but a few microns underne*ath, Dave is a socialist who believes in Marxist command and control bollocks.

  14. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Are Labour against the council tax freeze?

    I have come across of a flyer saying that a council (Lab) will freeze council tax for the 4th year.

    But i am sure that Ed said it would mean more cuts to councils?

    Can someone help please?

  15. 15
    rinke scott says:

    During the last election I remember Dave holding a pint of Guinness and saying it was his favourite drink.

    After the election he is offering Sarkozy a bottle of cats urine fermented by some micro brewery in Oxfordshire.

    Would you really want to go drinking with a person who behaves like this ?

  16. 16
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I wonder if the BBC’s Mark Thompson has watched BBC tv this christmas.

  17. 17
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Hey, It’s a bandwagon. Let me on !

  18. 18
    The BBC are Cunts says:

    Everyone has – dozens of times before.

  19. 19
    Gawd Help Us says:

    They have no other ideas, taxing is all they know.

  20. 20
    Bangkok's Ladyboys says:

    Hands off our knobs Dave, William, Liam, Gideon, Dave Laws…!

  21. 21
    Yossarian says:

    Guido, why do you allow some of these posts through? They are simply offensive, not witty, no insight offered – just offensive. We can all type rude words – we simply chose not to.

  22. 22
    Top Gear needs to be taken outside and shot in front of Richard Hammond's rent boy says:

    More shit from the Chipping Norton shiterati.

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Dickie Keys says:

    I smashed Louise Mensch’s back doors in

  25. 25
  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    What government is doing is to, tax the poor and give part of it back to the poor.

    What is the point in taxing someone and then giving him / her benefits to live! Could save a lot on administration cost.

  27. 27
    R.U. Shaw says:

    It took B£iar and Brown 13 years to create Broken Britain and to venerate binge-drinking. Don’t let the wicked Tories undo all that good work.

  28. 28
    Tin foil hats on everyone says:

    Excellent idea……

    Indeed – the taxpayer should not be subsidising the anti social behaviour in the House…

    We don’t like it – and the squeaker doesn’t like it either

  29. 29
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Care to elaborate further?

  30. 30
    Terrible But True says:

    ‘UK subjects pay more in air taxes than all the rest of the EU’s citizens – combined.’

    Must run such as this past my MP.

    If he seeks re-election, his thoughts on the matter will be… germane.

  31. 31
    Tin foil hats on everyone says:

    “”I remember Dave holding a pint of Guinness and saying it was his favourite drink.””

    Yes … it was his favourite drink …. at that particular moment in time when the cameras were there!

  32. 32
    Archer Karcher says:

    Why stop there Billy? We subsidise every aspect of their greed filled lives with our hard earned labour.
    Yet at every turn they feel compelled to rob us at every turn.
    Surely the parasites should be stripped of every expense that we cannot claim and forced to live in the same world they have created in their infinite spite, for us.

  33. 33
    Marcus Aurelius says:

    yes rusty Dave you are the heir to Blair
    no wonder poor old Millipede can’t put any clear blue water between your party and his, your policies are his policies

    by the way, Dave, how’s that cast iron promise working out for you? Not the referendum the one about spending less of my money and nannying me a bit less than the last lot of crooks?

  34. 34
    Archer Karcher says:

    Don’t count on that lasting when the grasping prohibitionist’s re*alise, they can pillage the home brewers with taxes.

  35. 35
    9th Ramone says:

    And controlling boozing is like invading Afghanistan – it never works. 20 minutes on Google will get you all you need to know on home-distilling, and not the poisonous Polish ‘vodka’ that’s killed lately, to say nothing of encouraging the ‘entrepreneurial’ to bootlegging.

  36. 36
    Sean Connery says:

    You pull a knife, we’ll pull a gun. You send one of ours to the hospital, we’ll send one of yours to the morgue.

  37. 37
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Last time I booked a flight 60 % went on taxes and charges.

    It flashed up on my computer for 10 seconds and then disappeared.

    Apparently there is some little known EU legislation that says the punters have to be shown this info.

    perhaps this explains the eurosceptic position?

  38. 38
    Archer Karcher says:

    Ed is desperate and desperate men will say anything. I wouldn’t put a penny on anything the clown says. We all know when he was in office, hurting the poor was the le*ast of his concerns.

  39. 39
    Perse O'Nally says:

    I’ve just bottled nearly half a gallon of sloe gin. That should last for….oh at least a week. And I know of a damson tree ..damson gin next year.

  40. 40

    Quite, and although I don’t believe in Governments interfering in any way at all, I have to take issue with Guido’s comment that Champaign drinkers (that’s me) won’t suffer, well we aren’t the ones roaming the highstreet causing trouble everywhere.

    The best answer is to bring back the cat-o-nine tails and whip them as we used to do decades ago. This time, with a slight difference. If a group of them are caught, and for the whipping, they can hear each other yell and scream. It will keep the memory alive much longer which in turn will make them fearful of going through it again.

    And the whipper should be given one year in gaol if he doesn’t cause bums to bleed. It might be a good idea to have an attractive blonde as the whipper for the men and a good looking guy for the women. This will make their anguish even heavier.

    God but I have a terrible mind!

  41. 41
    Rinka scott says:

    You are behind the times mate.

    Dave has his eyes on Somalia now.

    And the Iranians are egging him on in the Straits of Hormuz.

    We will be going into battle without an aircraft carrier!

    Forget the cheap booze and hit the crack cocaine I say.

  42. 42
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    The right to say ‘Huntflaps’ is enshrined in the UN Charter. Now fuck off.

  43. 43
    Archer Karcher says:

    It’s like waking from a thirteen year nightmare, only to discover that your liberators are as bad as your previous captors and filled with every bit as much hectoring, greed filled spite.

  44. 44
    Archer Karcher says:

    Yeah, that’s right you tell ‘em, while you are at it, will you be using the subsidised bars our political masters enjoy?
    Of course the best way to resolve everything is tax, tax, tax, tax and then even more tax.
    It has no effect on the economy at all does it?

  45. 45
    Billy Batts is the greatest movie gangster ever ! says:

    Yeah, real funny, ya prick, now go home and get yer freakin’ shine box!

  46. 46
    Peter the full brazillian fondlesboys says:

    f uck off then!

  47. 47

    I get great wines on which no taxes have ever been levied. Red and White in a choice of grapes. The Bourgogne could have come from the best French vineyards but is made locally. I pay around £1.20 per litre though I buy 20 litres at a time.

    The grappa is 65%-80% and is a medicine.

    The Guinness I have to import.

    I have exercised choice – what competition is all about. The problem is that most Brits either can’t (schooling/relatives) or won’t.

  48. 48
    meme says:

    omg ! VAt hike a mistake….. doth my ears decieve me – is even the xmas spirit getting Guido (arch-liebore) to now accept Balls VAT cut policy ?????

    come on guido – either country in real mess and VAT increase only way – or you telling porky pies about how bad johna and the balls were …….

    merry xmas and happy new year

    was this a guido post – or neo-guido ?

  49. 49
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    Just like when he was filmed in the National War Memorial paying his respects

  50. 50
    Joseph Kennedy, US Ambassador to the Court of St James, defeatist, and vulture capitalist says:

    + 1.

  51. 51
    A Tory says:

    Dave – you are scum sucking champagne socialist filth

  52. 52
    A Tory says:

    The point? To make us dependent on the state, to turn us into a compliant underclass.

  53. 53
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    You can’t get BBC tv in Tuscany

  54. 54
    Engineer says:

    If this proposal is going to increase the pr!ce of vintage port or Marston’s Pedigree, then I’m dead against it. If it reduces the sales of industrial lager, cider and similar gnat’s piss in oil-drum quantities by low-end supermarkets to chavs and winos, then I’m willing to give it a go.

    If it causes the aforementioned chavs and winos to take up home distilling, then good – anything to keep them occupied and out of other peoples’ homes has to be a bonus.

  55. 55
    A Tory says:

    Splendid post

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Reguarding Rangers football clubs outstanding debt with HMRC , surely HMRC should insist that all players are sold to help pay off the 40-45 million pound in evaded taxes they owe.

    I mean it would only be £50, but every little helps right?

  57. 57
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Keep booze cheap but increase the fine for Drunk and Disorderly to £500. Problem solved!

  58. 58
    nellnewman says:

    ‘minimum price on cheap alcohol’

    Sometimes cameron is such an idiot. U Turn coming up imminently!

  59. 59
  60. 60
    R.U. Shaw says:

    It’s none of your business, Ached Knacker, but no I don’t dine out at subsidised establishments.

    So apart from insults, what’s your brilliant answer ?

  61. 61
    Phil The Greek says:

    You go ahead with this you slimy wanker and we’ll introduce you to colonic irrigation with White Lightning & Buckfast.

  62. 62
    A Tory says:

    Cracking idea!

  63. 63
    Cameron = nannying fuckwit says:

    Leave me alone you wanker.

    Utter socialist filth in disguise.

  64. 64
    man in the street says:


  65. 65
    Polly says:


  66. 66
    Engineer says:

    To be fair to Guido, he has consistently argued against the VAT increase since it was first mooted as a possibility.

  67. 67
    Big Nose Pete says:

    Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…

  68. 68
    Engineer says:

    They’ll only succeed if you let them. Just don’t let them. Problem solved.

  69. 69
    Perse O'Nally says:

    Harsh…but fair!

  70. 70
    Archer Karcher says:

    95% of drunks ‘roaming the streets’ are entirely harmless.

    The rest are criminals who use drink as an excuse for their criminality.
    Of course if we had a regime of punishing criminal behaviour worth a fart, many of these criminals would soon realise that using drink as an excuse for their criminal behaviour did not wash. And that if punishment was even more severe for drunken criminals, rather than less, I suspect that drunken criminality would actually decre*ase substantially.

  71. 71
    Engineer says:

    Go brew yer own, then.

  72. 72
    Cameron and his cohorts can fuck right off says:

    I might offer to pay more tax on booze if that c’unt David Laws pays his unwarranted and fraudulently claimed expenses back.

  73. 73
    BillyBob... says:

    I would have thought the the Tory Party would go for the popular vote, having seen the boost to the Gov’t’s popularity when it used the veto in the EU…… not rocket science.

    Sending overseas aid to Brazil, China and India and the likes, using higher taxes on what little pleasures we have left, is just political suicide.

  74. 74
    BillyBob... says:

    However, not quite bringing up the rear.. Lomax :)

  75. 75
    BillyBob... says:

    Without doubt, a ‘hate crime’ and I hate crime.

  76. 76
    BillyBob... says:

    Better than the continual cautions these people get.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    They won’t listen Guido, they don’t get it.

    They will suck every last drop of working capital out of the country rather than admit their command economy ideals don’t work.

  78. 78
    Barry says:

    Very Good. In the 50’s a fine of 10/- was normal for being D&D. What proportion of a man’s pay was that? £500 sounds about right.

  79. 79
    not a machine says:

    I can see where your comming from on this one guido , and I agree tax cuts are choice in the tool box when looking at growth , the question as ever is which tax cuts do the right effect ?
    The deficet requires very careful consideration , as I dont think you can afford any tax cut that reduces the overall tax take ie if you produce growth it must either increase total take or at least be neutral .When the deficet comes right then , growth increases have a much more comfortable effect .
    The debt (noting it has increased) is pretty much dependent on growth post , sorting the deficet , which means even after taming the deficet , you will still be running certain taxes at a high rate , as you will increase public spending because of infaltion .
    I do not see any scenario where you can make broad tax cuts , but I do see selective tax cuts , that are helpful to none imported bits of the economy .
    Interest rate scenario would be far far worse in my view .

    I like the 1p on every text or mobile call , collecting it should be easy and efficent job , and it goes straight to exchequer to aid deficet (perhaps would prefer if it just went on debt) .
    Tax cuts straight to peoples pockets are useually in ammounts that are inconsequential unless you can do fuel/energy at say 10% .

    The problem is taming the deficet until you can get at the debt better , labour not only left no money , they left the economy merrily steaming ahead at high deficet , leaving the bottom to be found some years after they left office . Osbourne has a two holes to fill dilemma , should he try and fill , both a long steady rate , or should he fill the deficet one in first and then get to the debt , reducing the overall time in filling them , than if trying to fill both ?.

    Its tax cuts that create UK growth and not merely take in imports that have the improving economic future , in my view . Probebely what i am thinking contavenes the EU somewhere , british made and british used is what I think needs tax cuts .

  80. 80
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    There’s an alternative view. Blair’s party used to publicise something totally off the wall and while everybody was up in arms about it sneak through something far more deadly. Just maybe the Heir-to-Blair has cottoned on?

  81. 81
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Good stuff.

  82. 82
    Samuel Adams, Boston firebrand and brewer of beers for phonies says:

    Worked for me 238 years ago. What’s been taking you so long?

  83. 83
    Apathy Rising says:

    There’s always Khat.

    It’s legal and culturally sacrosanct – and it’ll stimulate the Somali export trade and it’s one way to get your kids to eat greens.

  84. 84
    vote UKIP says:

    There is nothing conservative about The Conservatives!

  85. 85
    pigs in space says:

    Brew your own, it’s pretty easy, and very cheap.

  86. 86
    FonyBlair says:

    Balls only wants a temporary VAT cut. Can’t say how temporary though!! 1 week,1 month, 1 year??

    This is a guido post…or so it says at the top of the post on the mobile version of this site

  87. 87
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    But you can get BBC Tuscany accross the whole of the UK.

  88. 88
    Spending cuts..... says:

    All very well to talk about cut spending cuts … And the government should be targeted on unnecessary expenditure …

    Our absurd levels of contribution to the UN (say relative to china) does not look fit-for-purpose. Can the government justify what purpose our more than double the contribution of china serves? Minimum $80million saving there.

  89. 89
    Gooey Blob says:

    Homebrew wine is 15-20p per bottle if you pick your own ingredients or buy cheap fruit from the reduced section at the end of the day (eg bananas 10p per kilo)

  90. 90
    Some Geezer wot's seen politicians pull bait-&-switch since Victoria was a secret says:

    More like: “We’re going to stick a red-hot poker in your anus. Just kidding– a footlong dildo with barbs!” Thank goodness for small mercies!

  91. 91
    Well it's a thought says:

    If soft lad Davey puts up prices, we want to see the subsidised bars in the HOC show the same pricing for food and drink as in a commercial restaurant of equal stature, if not then fuck off and hope your polls don’t slip down to zero.

  92. 92
    Well it's a thought says:

    Saving public money by politicians, not a cat in hells chance, your more likely to see pigs flying over the HOC, than see a politician saving public money.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Have you counted in the white stick to go with the strong stuff

    P.S. “There a three things of which no man need be ashamed, a fish from the stream, a deer from the moor and a drop of his own liquor” – I cannot find the original gaelic.

  94. 94
    Is it moral? says:

    Is it moral for the young to have access to cheap booze. #justasking.

  95. 95
    Mike says:


  96. 96
    Woman on a croydon tram says:

    Wot’s all this ahhbout? First them poles come over ‘ere an’ take our benefits and now all them Mooselimbs want to to stop decent people like me from havin’ a few Red Bull and Vodkas?

    Its a frakin’ disgrace. Fark off back to farkin’ Poleland and take them Nigellias an all.
    This country is a joke coz of youse lot not standin’ up for decent British people like I is.
    If i want to fall down drunk on a traffic island and get a police car to take me home then I will, and all you Poles and wops and mops and Bosmans can fark the fark off!

  97. 97
    Crassus says:

    Flog ‘em first

  98. 98
    Woman on a croydon tram says:

    Them Farkin, Farkers. Rag heads all dancing in the streets and shootin’ their guns in the air. Lyin’ on a doormat every half hour to pray to Moe Hammond.
    Reminds me of New Addington..

  99. 99
    Time To Lance This Boil says:

    This is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard from a British Government since the last stupid thing they told us about.

  100. 100
    Time To Lance This Boil says:

    This is David Cameron’s Poll Tax moment. What a bloody fool.

  101. 101
    Gary Jones says:

    This is clearly a vote winner and I await with bated breath the next election where the Tories will win a clear majority

  102. 102
    david says:

    Cheaper airfares, remove all taxes from turboprop flights that leave the UK, unless you are in one hell of a hurry it won’t matter to you that it takes you twice as long to Dublin, Paris etc. Please the Green lobby to!

  103. 103
    Time To Lance This Boil says:

    Osbourne can save billions.

    First he needs to cut all foreign aid (and that includes all payemnts to the EU, which are nothing but foreign aid in yet another guise). Then he has to bring the UK forces back to their proper barracks from overseas (They will do more good sitting on the Falklands than getting blown up in Afghanistan) . He can get Pickles off his arse and stop the money bleeding out of the public purse through the leaky bucket that is local government, and also start RECOVERING all the money stolen by the lcoal councillors, bent local government grafters and the corporate parasites who fix contracts to rip us off (Firms like Keir Group spring to mind).

    He can cap housing benefits properly (ie no more than £200 per week per household, no matter how many children and no matter where in the country they are) and timelimit all benefits other than disability benefit for a maximum period.
    Anyone not a citizen or not married to a British citizen should be ineligible for benefits after six months. If they can’t find work in that time, they live on their savings or leave the country, including EU nationals and their dependents. Citizenship should only be granted to people with a clear five year record of not claiming benefits of any kind.

    Sell the BBC.

  104. 104
    Savings Must Start At The Top says:

    Dave can save a load of money by refusing to go and let any british offciials go to any more summits. Anywhere. .In future such meetings should take place on Skype.

  105. 105
    Amiable Drunk says:

    Hear Hear

  106. 106
    Archer Karcher says:

    What do you define as cheap? Or for that matter young?

    If people are old enough to fight and die for this country, then are you suggesting they should not be allowed by law access to other adult behaviour or legal goods and services or they should be rationed by government decree?

    There is a nannying stench from your post that is as unhe*althy as it it revolting. You sound like every other do-gooder wanker, quite prepared to forfeit freedom for the ‘greater good’ whatever that is and however you define it.

  107. 107
    Amiable Drunk says:

    Just when I was thinking of voting Tory at the next election he pulls this load of bollocks. Next they’ll be raising the VAT on condoms.

  108. 108
    Archer Karcher says:

    Answer to what? Drunken behaviour in city centres? Easy, the full force of the law. Binge drinking? Easy, the full force of the law and charging people for their the medical cost over undgulence. Criminal behaviour as a consequence of excessive drinking, see my post at the top of this thre*ad.

  109. 109
    Normally Quite Reasonable says:

    We put up with 13 years of unbearable shit from Labour but at least with the hjope that when they were voted out we’d get a sensible government in stead.

    Now it turns out that we are being government by another bunch of fucking imbeciles. Seeing as the ballot box clearly isn’t working, what remains?

  110. 110
    Archer Karcher says:

    +1000 End tory socialism asap also. Tax and spend socialism is the problem and no amount of pretend can obscure it.

  111. 111
    Normally Quite Reasonable says:

    They don’t think it is because they do not feel it personally. Yet.

    Well if the morons who aspire to government come and ruins my life’s little private pleasures, they are going to have to learn that two can play at that game. I do not think I am alone in feeling like this.

  112. 112
    Normally Quite Reasonable says:

    I really think that as they can affaord it, they should pay MORE tax. How about the bars in the Houses of Parliamnet being double taxed, to set an example?

  113. 113
    Bob the Builder says:

    If he wants to tax cheap weak beer out of site this shows that our Dave has never done a days work on a building site in his life.

    Supermarket ownbrand is the only beer brickies can drink all day and stay sober.

    What a plonker!

  114. 114
    Mogadishu says:

    The Somalis import most of theirs from Kenya.

  115. 115
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    I like the idea of a 1p “tax” on every txt or mobile call, what about a 5p tax on all cash withdrawals and electronic bank transacations. No a clue what the tax take would be but should be easy enough to collect.

  116. 116
    Marcus Aurelius says:

    bring back the BES with full 40% tax rebate

  117. 117
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    If call me Dave reads this he will have an attack of the “vapors” – he is a blowhard he hasn’t got the backbone to do anything radical.

  118. 118
    Time To Lance This Boil says:

    So he won’t be legalising cannabis then, with all the savings that we will make through taxing it as well as the additional benefits of making a lot of corrupt policemen dispensible.

    There are also a couple of billions to be raised by enforcing court fines properly (dismantling a large chink of the Ministry of Justice will also save a lot of wedge: the magistrates will very happily administer their own courts for far far less than the curent overbloated civil service does it, like they used to for 600 odd years).

    I could go on but as the current government are in thrall to the self-serving state-worshippers, there is not much point in castig pearls before swine.

  119. 119

    Not a Machine,

    Nobody reads your stuff because it is too long. Mostly it is just deleted.

  120. 120

    Did you have summarising exercises in English?

    We did. Stuff should be re-read before hitting the submit button, especially if it is long.

  121. 121
  122. 122

    It’s modernisation, not morality, that is the dirty word of politics

    Peter Oborne

    Form over substance. Appearances over political philosophy. I have been saying this for a long, long time. One day we have to go back to this.

  123. 123
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Four things: you missed out the fruit-flavoured butt plug.

  124. 124
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Hans, a middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

    They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.

    They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, “No!” and walks quickly away.

    The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it’s not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Hans. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, “NO WAY, BUDDY!” and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

    Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn’t done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she’s sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

    So she goes over to Hans and says that she’s the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.

    Hans leans forwards and whispers in her ear, “Can I pay in Euros?”

  125. 125

    It’s modernisation, not morality, that is the dirty word of politics

    Peter Oborne

    Form over substance. Appеarances over political philosophy. I have been saying this for a long, long time. One day we have to go back to this.

  126. 126
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    It’s that other “snow” he likes in the evenings that costs most of the difference.

  127. 127
    Non believer says:

    I’m with Guido on this, anything that makes dr.u.nk dr.iving more expensive is an outrage. It’s my god given right to mow down unsuspecting ped.estrians and I’ll fight anyone who says any different.

  128. 128
    Polythesis says:


  129. 129
    Sorry to say so.. says:

    This is defeatist talk.

  130. 130
    Really? says:

    We come up against the reality that in many of these cases, the offender is on state benefits; result, the assessment of their ability to pay means that the fine cannot be more than a token amount (to show their ‘goodwill’ towards the court).

  131. 131
    Sorry to say so.. says:

    Is there such a thing as under-age dwinking.

  132. 132
    Where is the saving? says:

    Cost of prison £40k/annum…

  133. 133
    Fine words... says:

    Where is the follow-up action.

    Time for some leadership?

  134. 134
    Engineer says:

    Somebody should have told Mr Tolstoy that before he wrote ‘War and Pe*ce’.

  135. 135

    That is quality though! Maybe Marcel Proust?

  136. 136
    Philosophy Abridger says:


  137. 137
    A horrific thought ... says:

    A drink, an accident, a death of a child, the death penalty.

  138. 138
    Yardarm says:

    Bullseye Archer, what an f in tosser “justasking” my arse!

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    I actually don’t mind them screwing more revenue from booze.

    For too long, Brits have treated alchol as though its consumption bestowed upon them a temporary licence to become an asshole. Witness our towns and cities which at night become squalid, intimidating places due to alcohol.

    Alcohol is not really a tax issue. It’s a mental health issue. People that consume alcohol without being able to handle it can often fuck up other people’s lives.

  140. 140
    Impecunious says:

    This is from 2004 but it is worth reading; how to cut a Civil Service to the bone, and make money!

  141. 141
    Impecunious says:

    A very, very few Brits abuse alcohol, most of us just enjoy a relaxing, sociable tipple.
    Penalise the piss-heads and leave the drinkers alone!

  142. 142
    SGB says:


  143. 143
    man in the street says:

    I’d rather not have yet another increase in tax actually.

    Thanks all the same.

  144. 144
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    this government as well as the previous one have done more to isolate, discriminate and bugger the poor, the unemployed and the disabled than anyone since the second world war.

    they are all c’unts

    if this country, known formally as Rip Off Britain, was in the near east we would invade it to free its citizens

  145. 145
    Fenian bearded winker says:

    The bullet box?

  146. 146
    Fenian bearded but teetotalwinker says:


  147. 147
    Plotting the course says:

    Can you share your action plan with the rest of us?

  148. 148
    Plotting the course says:

    Not if they live on bread and water twice a day.

  149. 149
    +1 says:

    .. and have no access to tv, ipods, gyms, sports facilities. Lots can be saved with a bit of Scroogist policies.

  150. 150
    +1 says:

    So build more prisons with the extra tax raised! Or, of course, send them back where they came from…

  151. 151
    +1 says:

    Yes, in case nobody has noticed, the clamour for our referendum seems to have gone away over the past couple of weeks. Bread and circuses to distract the attention. Never fails.

  152. 152
    +1 says:

    +1 to all of the above contributions.

  153. 153
    +1 says:

    Why should we be taxed for withdrawing our own money? The banks make a handsome profit already from our lending it to them in the first place (for safe-keeping of course).

  154. 154
    +1 says:

    Hear hear! About time you told him to stop rabbiting on boring the rest of us to death.

  155. 155
    +1 says:

    Good idea, but regrettably there are certain countries in which Skype is totally banned. Not much ever comes from these summits anyway, apart from large bills from the participants and organisers, so probably not much being missed really.

  156. 156
    True Tory says:

    If you believe our Coalition Government are that bad, and I tend to agree with you, wait until you examine what some of the Conservative controlled Local Councils are doing. Hundreds of millions in reserves and look at how they act.

  157. 157
    Cressida's Dick says:

    If useless Dave really believes this is the way to go, wait till 2015 and present it to the country as a flagship policy in the GE campaign. Then he’ll see how many agree with him. Just another revenue raising scheme dressed up as social policy.

  158. 158
    Taxfodder says:

    I laugh at lazy boozers, thick as a brick!

    Do you remember? “sunshine bread” it was utter paper mash type papp,
    it lasted for weeks in the fridge!

    Then you tried real fresh bread and marveled how fresh bread could have such a wonderfully delicious taste.

    Your average supermarket cheap booze is your “Sunshine booze” chemically enhanced papp.

    FFS get a life make your own, its so so simple! the first batch or two will probably be crap but at no more than 50p a liter bottle its worth a little patience….like most things it gets better….and much better with practice, build up your stock..say 60 or so bottles and laugh at the tax increases.

    2 hours a month (average) to make, now work out how much you spend on booze times that into two hours…..get the picture?

    Buy the ingredients online, brew and after 3 weeks and you can enjoy real ale and great real wine wait a little longer read, superb!

    Forget the spoilers the vested interest, they need the mugs to pay up and keep the lolly rolling in, or like I (brewing for five years now) you can toast the chancellor and get pissed every night of the week if you want for less than £182.00 per year (say £60 set up costs first year).

    It really, really is that simple!


  159. 159
    filipinomonkey says:

    So minimum price of booze in the papers today and a warning about the dangers of counterfeit vodka.

    The more you tax it the more the criminals are attracted to it, hint to Cameron, beware the unintended consequences…

  160. 160
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Congrats on discovering socialism.

  161. 161
    (Sir) David Hartnett's bag carrier. says:

    Surprising that Guido has fallen for Balls silly line on the VAT rise.
    A rise in VAT hits the rich far more than it does the poor simply because the rich spend much more on goods and services that are chargeable to full rate VAT.

    In the UK, unlike other EU countries. core essentials like food are zero rated for VAT.

    A VAT rise really hits the wealthy south east and all those rich russians and fugitive greeks. It hits all those bankers spending their bonuses. It will hit all the foriegn tourists that come for the Olympics.

    Guido (and Balls) have this wrong.

  162. 162

    It doesn’t hit the rich harder because they have far more disposable income.

  163. 163
    (Sir) David Hartnett's bag carrier says:

    Guido Fawkes says:
    January 2, 2012 at 8:20 am
    It doesn’t hit the rich harder because they have far more disposable income.
    Guido. I never said it hit the rich HARDER. I said it hit the rich FAR MORE. It is a subtle differrence. The truly poor for example a single pensioner on state pension and benefits pays hardly any VAT simply because they do not buy much in the way of goods or services that have VAT on them. Similarly the single mum living on state benefits (provided she buys healthy foods).

    You really do have this wrong, just like Ed Balls. VAT in the peculiar way it is applied in the UK is a progressive tax, not regressive, with the welathier paying proportionally much more than the poor because of the way they spend their income. Now that would change if the people in Brussels got their way and standard rated everything. Until then, you could not be more wrong.

    Given that tax has to be raised somehow, high taxes on luxury expenditure is a pretty fair way of doing it. More fair for example than a one per cent rise in the standard rate of income tax.

    Temporary cuts in the standard VAT rate as advocated by Balls would mostly not filter through to consumers. Business is too hard pressed. Simply put HMG needs the money to pay of the debt inherited from Balls and Brown.

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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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