December 27th, 2011

Labour Membership Flatlining Under Miliband

Over a year ago Harriet Harman, speaking at a Labour delegates reception, claimed that the Labour Party had gained 65,000 new party members. This morning a Labour press spokesman, while defending Ed Miliband’s leadership, again claimed 65,000 new party members.

If the party’s press spokesman is telling the truth that means in over a year since the start of Ed Miliband’s leadership the Labour Party has not made a net gain of any more members. No surprise really, Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think Ed is a wonderful leader.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    HarrietHarman,porn& PIE excuser hardly inspires confidence, not unless your a perv.

  3. 3
    David Minibanana says:

    Always keep him in front of you.

  4. 4
    Lou Scannon says:

    Every one a weiner.

  5. 5
    A Tory says:

    I’m very enthusiastic about him too.

  6. 6
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Keep up the good work Red Ed :-)

  7. 7
  8. 8
    Save Ed says:

    Labour and truth telling? You’ve got to be kidding

  9. 9
    Andrew Efiong says:

    I’m tempted to join the party just so I can vote to keep this plonker in the job.

    But then I realised my vote would not matter because the union barons get to pick the leader. That’s why this Star Trek character got the part instead of his superior brother.

  10. 10
    Goddess, Empress, Dictator Frau Merkel says:

    Stop attacking my Karachi Miliband poodle, I know he’s a useless poodle but he’s my useless poodle. I’m beginning to have more faith in my Cleggy hamster.

  11. 11
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Let’s hope he does an Arthur Scargill and makes himself Leader of the Labour Party for life.

  12. 12
    jm says:


    In the past 2 years they have gained 130,000 members.

    According to their postal survey.

  13. 13
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Hold hard a moment. Surely “superior” is not a word that can be sensibly deployed in support of any Milliband? Even “less hopeless” is pushing it a bit. :)

  14. 14
    Well it's a thought says:

    The two balls he keeps around his neck are the best thing he has done, it will stop him getting anywhere near real power, 3 turn off’s for the public to admire for just one look.

  15. 15
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    At a steady rate of 65,000 a year? How very Tractor Factory. This increase will of course be verified by receipts published in the Labour Party’s public accounts, won’t it?

  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So this is the famous 0% rise that Labour predicted?

  17. 17
    retardEd Milibland says:

    It ith not ‘flat-lining’, it ith ‘thteady, conthtant and dependable’.

  18. 18
    Ed and circuses says:

    Judging by the look on his face, that must have been one hell of a dry wank.

  19. 19
    God says:

    The continued presence of Little Milliband as “leader” of even such a dismal organisation as the Labour Party underlines Mankind’s unerring capacity for suicidal stupidity. The Conservatives are laughing as they watch the puerile antics of this inept sham of a politician

  20. 20
    Jonah Watch says:

    DEdwood is doomed……former SPaD to Gordon Brown……say no more

  21. 21
    Terrible But True says:

    Not one?

    Can’t wait to see how the BBC runs with this.

    Meanwhile, across the closed for comment landscape that is the national £4Bpa national 24/7, 365/365, ‘off for the school hols’ ‘news’ monopoly we are left with this to savour for weeks..

    So, first New Year post?: ‘Labour Leader maintains party support into 2012′

    Even Goebells might have blushed.

  22. 22
    Anthony Weiner, disgraced FORMER "Member" of Congress says:

    You can call me an idiot, a perv, a joke, but when you compare me to Ed Miliband I’m afraid you’ve gone too far; expect to hear from my lawyers.

  23. 23
    Big Bang Theory says:

    There is a story running through the blogosphere that the Miliblands were created in a crazed Soviet lab experiment in the middle of the twentieth century. But the experiment was an appalling failure and the Soviets abandoned it. The technology was passed on to North Korea and then suddenly the Miliblands appeared as fully formed adults….

  24. 24
    Anon says:

    He’s the best thing to happen to the Conservative Party since Neil Kinnock.

    Long may he continue to *ahem* ‘lead’ the his Party.

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ‘He’s a nice guy but all that people see is someone who is a policy wonk and stabbed his brother in the back.’

    nuff said.

  26. 26
    Ben E FitzClements says:

    Funny how Ramsay MacDonald manages to be at the top of the list of 65,000 every year.

  27. 27
    Anon says:

    I wonder what Nick Robinson’s going to do for a living after 2015, when the newly-elected Conservative government scraps the license fee and forces the Bolshevik Broadcasting Commune to sink or swim as a purely commercial entity.

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And to think he had to get married as well.

    Keep going Ed, the country needs you in your current post!

  29. 29
    Official Labour Liar says:

    I can hereby confirm that paper clip production is at an all time record high, due in no small me*asure to comrade le*ader Miliband’s courageous and vital support.

  30. 30
    Ex-Labour voter says:

    What people see is an awkward lisping freak, a product of damaged DNA, a puppet of the communist union leaders, a fervent supporter of the detested EU, a moron with no ideas and no policies (other than to continue Brown’s policy of financially raping taxpayers and spray the money over benefit-claiming parasitic filth).

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    …and ‘Lord’ Kinnockio was the best thing that happened since Michael Foot.

    Why are all Lefties so far removed from the ordinary person ?

  33. 33
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Don’t the entire political elite favour the BBC as it’s ‘impartial’ messenger concerning all lies gre*at and small, such as the AGW fraud?

  34. 34
    Ed Tackle says:

    I don’t like weiners.

  35. 35
    Leave me alone Labour says:

    Despite having nothing to do with the Labour Party, they have sent three membership packs to my address since last summer. Go away!

  36. 36
    Charles Hardwidge says:

    I think he’s a twisty faced inbred champagne socialist commie bastard, like all the labour bunch actually.

  37. 37
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Red Ed is also mouthpiece and enabler of the biggest scam and fraud ever perpetuated on the British taxpayers, the gre*at global warming swindle.

    Red Ed’s contribution towards the jolly green bubble? Seven hundred and eighty BILLION pounds and rising.

  38. 38
    Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon, trougher and europhile says:

    Ha ha, you fucking wish.

  39. 39
    Labour=Looter's Friend says:

    Is warmongering offshore investment banker Tony Blair still a member of the Labour party?

  40. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just a serious question.

    Say Ed stays, loses the gen election, could Labour then really elect his brother as leader? surely the time has passed for D Miliband?

  41. 41
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Kim Young Un could give RedEd a few tips. There are many parallels in their lives. Their fathers were both Marxist intellectuals.

    They both have the state broadcasters in their pockets.

  42. 42
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    That’s Billy’s line.

  43. 43
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    “Genetically slightly dissimilar”, maybe.

  44. 44
    God says:

    Has anyone noticed how Little Milliband is appearing more overtly “middle eastern” in facial appearance!

  45. 45
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Are you talking about Landlord Blair?

  46. 46
    Rick the Roman says:

    With Liebour anything is possible. They are so far removed from the real world as a party and as individuals that this scenario is plausible. It is compelling viewing, is it not?

  47. 47
    Ron Davies Badger watcher says:

    Billy is a fellow badger watcher- Takes one to know one.

  48. 48
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Dad ?

  49. 49
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    If there’s a prepaid envelope, send them back with a bit extra — some scrap iron or a brick or three. The fox-hunting loons sent the League Against Cruel Sports a defunct Land Rover, in pieces.

  50. 50
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Lady Martin would disagree :-)

  51. 51
    Jacob Bronowski says:

    Line stealing!

    The curse of our age, darling.

  52. 52
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    These are some of Red Ed’s good points.

  53. 53
    Popeye says:

    He looks like a nice boy, quite sweet really????

  54. 54
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    Red Ed is not quite as photogenic as Kim Jong Un. Their political ideologies are identical.

  55. 55
    Panto says:

    “Oh, yes he IS!”

  56. 56

    Does Ed own a horse perchance?

  57. 57
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I am not able to attend Kim Jong-il’s State Funeral as Juthtine says I have to finish the washing up.

  58. 58
    God continues says:

    Labour separates the wheat from the chaff and keeps the chaff.

  59. 59
    When the messenger becomes the message..Sack the messenger !! says:

    Oh dear. Oh dear…where did it all go so wrong for Labour…two duffers in a row as leader.

  60. 60
    Labour moron says:

    Loads of Labour voters out shopping in Oxford street yesterday.
    Sheeple and shoplifters mostly.
    Titled en I.

  61. 61

    Cause and effect confusion.

  62. 62
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Weren’t most of the new memberships just the Unions buying dummy ones so that they could swing the leadership vote?

  63. 63
    david wisteria says:

    A poor advert for a Comprehensive School education if you ask me.

    He epitomises everything that is wrong with the UK: plenty of santimonious criticism , no concrete policies of his own and a predeliction for promoting all the wrong people.

    The sooner he is off the scene the sooner we can find a socialist leader truly in touch with the business world who will make sure we have a commissioned aircraft carrier plus a 96% employment rate with no state ownership of Banks.

  64. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a member.

  65. 65
    Apathy Rising says:

    “What I know about myself is a very strong sense of who I am…….”

    Dances with daisies.

  66. 66
    David Minibanana says:

    I can confirm that he does give off very strong scents: snake, scorpion….

  67. 67

    And another stabbing, I see.

    Very Labour, that.

  68. 68
    A Scientist says:

    And the Archbishop of Beardie is the best thing that has happened to atheism

  69. 69
    Collectivism is dead says:

    The more evolved Cameron is ..
    The more primitive labour will be.

    Human nature.

  70. 70
    Alf Garnett says:

    It is hardly surprising that, after time-serving for 13 years of a Labour government dedicated to swindling, warmaking, self-promotion and Thatcher worship, led by a madman and his deranged wife, then by another loopy Scot, of whom the least said the better, this dreadful apparatchik Milliband is bereft of ideas, let alone sense.

    It doesn’t matter how hard he tries, this tax-saving expert has no conception at all about how the rest of us (probably known to him as “the common people”) have to make shift these days.

    His peculiar looks and mannerisms might not be such a drawback if only he had some sort of spark in him. As it is, he has none, and is as dull as ditchwater to boot.

    At least with him in place, we have no chance of being forced to endure another 13 years of quasi-Tory government with the likes of Mandelson, Uddin, the “ones that got away”, Lard “Pathfinder” Prescott and the Antichrist Blair (presumably some kin of Linda, of “The Exorcist”) piddling on our backs whilst emptying our pockets.

  71. 71
    Labour Party Spokescreature says:

    The receipts verifying our membership increase will be made available once we can find ourselves a friendly printer.

  72. 72
    The Groanian says:

    …..because as Polly said: Left Wing people are special

  73. 73
    Boris Pecker says:

    Yup…Special Needs

  74. 74

    Ouch! From Auchtermuchty too…

  75. 75
    Billy Bowden is the biggest cunt ever ! says:

    Which one is his ‘sex’ face?

  76. 76
    Weird Watch says:

    David & Ed – the DEdwood Brothers – any one paste up a pix of the two misfits with the weird hair?

  77. 77
    BillyBob... says:

    Red Egg reminds me of a smarmy secondhand car salesman.

  78. 78
    When the messenger becomes the message..Sack the messenger !! says:

    Even if he was up against someone slightly less disastrous than he is like IDS as leader of the Tory Party Ed would be a very poor second but of course just it was IDS’s misfortune to be up against a performer as gifted as Bliar and Foot’s to be up against Mrs T an equally gifted player so it is Ed’s misfortune to be up against a Tory leader who is as gifted as Bliar was at the zenith of his abilities in playing the “great game” of politics for the gullible masses

  79. 79
    Ed 'special needs' Millimong says:

    Bleep. Wibble.

  80. 80
    Pilkington says:

    Ed Miliband is the Tories’ greatest asset. His odd voice, the deranged body language, the weirdo haircut, everything whispers “odd”.

    Give him a donkey jacket and David Cameron will reign for a decade.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    All very true, Alf.

    The stage is set for the emergence of a new order to rid us of all these theiving liblabcons, and then repatriate all the foreigners. Fat Irish criminals first.

  82. 82
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Do the bBBC know something we don’t?
    Should we start celebrating?–PM-just-58-years-old.html

  83. 83
    A BBC/Labour party spokes-arseole says:

    hmmm, this is worrying not even Radio Five Labour’s constant and shameless pro-Labour bias has swayed things yet

  84. 84

    Doing quite well until reaching the oxymoron: socialist leader truly in touch with the business world.

    Hen’s teeth stuck on with unicorn droppings.

  85. 85
    Ex-Labour voter says:

    I was being charitable, it being Christmas.

  86. 86
    BBC Shirtlifter says:

    We love Ed.

  87. 87
    Fruitbat says:

    Oh God,

    Does anyone know how to get sick out of a keyboard…

  88. 88
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am backing Ed!

    Vote Labour!

  89. 89
    Anon says:

    Top right.

  90. 90
    Hattie has little piggy iiiiii's says:

    Even her hubby won a nomination from an all-wimmin’s list.
    Did he maybe wear Hatties giraffe-skin outfit?
    Most becoming ….. if you’re another giraffe.

  91. 91
    A Labour-educated chav with 13 A* GCSEs says:

    i want mor benufit muhnee! wil ed mileeband giv me n me m8s mor muhneee? lyk the last laybor guvurnment gived us mor muhnee?

  92. 92
    Cosa Nostril says:

    He is not a nice guy. He is at the head of a criminal conspiracy to steal from taxpayers.

  93. 93
  94. 94
    Anon says:

    Oh, please let it be so!

    Gadaffi, Bin Liner, Kim Jung Il.. there’s still four days left for another mass-murderer to die before 2012.

  95. 95
    Education,ejjercation, edyukayshun says:

    Did your teecher tell you wot kwestions they wud be arksing in the exams ??

  96. 96
    The Iron Lady UK Trailer says:

    Let’s remind ourselves of a true leader. Are you watching from Tuscany Polly? Or what about you Harriett?

  97. 97
    Ben E FitzClements says:

    Careful, son, the Council has spies everywhere.

  98. 98
    I love France says:

  99. 99
    A Labour-educated chav with 13 A* GCSEs says:

    yes, thay done that 4 uz. n if we gotted the kwestyuns rong, we just ree-tooked the examz agayn l8r.

    or a clasrume asistunt sitted wiv uz n helped wiv the kwetsyuns djooring the examz.

  100. 100
    Harriet Harman says:

    I am not aware of any politician, past or present, by the name of Margaret Thatcher.

  101. 101
    East India Company wallah says:

    Can I stay if I lose some weight?

  102. 102
    I wish it were so says:

    Sorry to disappoint but this is standard practice in news outlets. I worked at one and there were prepared obits for the Queen, Queen Mother (then still alive), the Pope etc. It makes sense to have obits ready to go in case of a sudden death. As morbid as it sounds, there’ll be obits written and recorded already for Cameron, Brown etc. Well, not morbid where Brown’s concerned.

  103. 103
    Jack Dromey says:

    Shut it.

  104. 104
    What? says:

    Blog post, Fence post? Bed post? Lamp post?
    Com Post?

    Can you clarify for us?

  105. 105
    What? says:

    So, just obit of advance planning then.

  106. 106
    Levi says:

    Listen blud. Does you wont a treeD telly? Me haz got fyve Panafonik haychD treeD teeveez. Dey iz all brand noo and inopened. I got dem at a wickid sale in Augost. Der iz just a bit ov damag 2 da boxes cos ov fire at, er, in me garage. Bargen pryce. Check it. Booka.

  107. 107
    Little Miss Prism says:

    Yes, officer, it was the one at top right who stole my vomit flavoured M&Ms.

  108. 108
    Ed is the new Michael Foot says:

  109. 109
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I know a loser when I see one. Ed Miliband the tories best vote winner. How stupid are the labour party!

  110. 110
    Tory Cat says:

    Yeah what is it with leftie leaders and stupid hairstyles?

  111. 111
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I’m not good enough to kith hith bootth !!

    He’th my hewo !!

  112. 112
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Well, they let me ‘run’ the Country…

  113. 113
    Lester Spigot says:

    A unicorn owns him, more likely.

  114. 114
    Wendy Bendy says:


  115. 115
    Wendy Bendy says:

    As in


  116. 116
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am joining the Labour party because of Ed Miliband!

  117. 117
    Some Geezer wot has heard "Crocodile Tears" eulogies in his time says:

    Well, in the QM’s case it made sense, as with HRH The Duke of Edinburgh now (and Lady Thatcher, when you think about it) to be ready to go at any time. And with those individuals, the course of life is pretty well run, and pretty much all they’ve done is all they’re ever likely to do. Blair’s obit, however, is a different story, and will bear much updating and revision (downward one assumes) as the years wear on. To the topic at hand, what does Ed Miliband’s obit say? I’m thinking along the lines of “De Mortuus Nihil Nisi Bonum” and just proceed to stock market, weather and sports.

  118. 118
    Fruitbat says:

    The one for Bruin will also involve street parties…

  119. 119
    Peter Mandelson says:

    You have a point. Although everyone agreed privately that Gordon was “mad, bad and dangerous”, we all stated publicly that he was “the best man to run Britain.”

  120. 120
    The Ghost of Labour Past says:

    There is no Labour Party any more, only the Parasite Party.

  121. 121
    The Labour Party says:

    We need all the help we can get.

  122. 122
    Fruitbat says:

    But doesn’t Millitwit die on his feet every Wednesday at PMQs?

  123. 123
    Alf Garnett says:


  124. 124
    Alf Garnett says:

    Trouble is, you missed the bit off the end i.e. “…into the ground”.

  125. 125
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Are they his ‘vinegar stroke’ faces?

  126. 126
    Wil-l-l-bur-r-r says:

    The difference is that the equine Mr. Ed “…will never sp**k, unless he has something to say…”, and the human Mr. Ed will never “…give you [an] answer that you’ll endorse.”

  127. 127
    PrinceTight says:

    Nine pictures of Ed recalling his circumcision.

  128. 128
    Greggery Peccary says:

    at the bottom of the pecking order.

  129. 129
    joescotus says:

    ed is and forever will be a loser, simple as that.

  130. 130
    cynic2 says:

    There was a young man called Ed
    About whom, not much could be said
    With personality zero
    He wasn’t a hero
    And made even Balls seem to have cred

  131. 131
    Alfie, aged 17, says:

    eeven tho i gotted like 20 gcse’s, i aint got no job offas or nuffin sinse i leeved scool.

    i rekon itz the toree cuts innit.

  132. 132
    Effnik Underclass Thug says:

    Yo, bro – the coppers only nicked me coz I iz black, innit!

  133. 133
    Mudplugger says:

    Try counting the anglo-saxon-looking ones on any of the news coverage – hint, you won’t need more than the fingers of one hand.

    Lots and lots of loverly liebour voters spending their Benefits.

  134. 134
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    He will never get over the fact that he shafted his brother – how can anyone trust him? Ed also told us that the talks about forming a coalition with the Lib Dems were going well, supported Brown for ages, apparently doesn’t like his 2nd or 3rd choice Chancellor and has all the charisma of a damp flannel.

  135. 135
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I think Dead Red Ed has been watching too many old Frankie Howerd videos ;-)

  136. 136
    I want Labour to be shafted at the next election says:

    I disagree. Ed has the charisma, energy and intellect to lead his Party to victory at the next election. I think he’s a great leader for his Party, and he will be a great leader for Great Britain. A great, progressive leader, taking Britain forward.

    His Party should not consider sacking him, that would be calamitous. Like most people in Britain, I feel privileged to live at the same point in history as Ed Miliband, and I feel sorry for the previous generations who were unable to gaze upon him. At least future generations, in the centuries to come, will be able to read about him, gaze upon statues of him in public places, and no doubt visit many museums, libraries and universities that will be dedicated to his name.

    So in summary, I for one would sell my house and all its contents to help Ed Miliband fight and win the next election. I’d even sell one (or perhaps even both) of my lungs. He really is *that* good.

    Stick with Ed, Labour! Well done, Ed!

  137. 137
    CiderKing says:

    who is this man and how did he get here?

  138. 138
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    ‘R.I.P. Tony Blair as BBC film his obituary’.

    We cracked open the champers when we read this headline. Oh, the feeling of utter dejection when we realised that the Beeb had nothing else to do. A damned false alarm. Re-cork the Bollinger, Jacqueline.

  139. 139
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Here’s great shot of me with one of my heroes.

  140. 140
    The Man Who Came In From The All Woman Shortlist says:

    I fully expect them to announce an all women shortlist for the Labour Leadership then install Jack Dromey as leader.

  141. 141
    The Duke of Edinburgh says:

    I knew I shouldnt have taken that phone Call from Gordon Brown on Christmas eve !

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    David Miliband – The Acceptable Face of Ed Miliband?

  143. 143
    OMFG !!! says:

    OMFG !!!

  144. 144
    Labour activist tries to boost party morale says:

    Come on, comrades. I know Ed M is shit but things could be worse. We could have had Ed Balls as leader!

  145. 145
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Over a year ago Harriet Harman, spanking at a Labour delegates reception, claimed that the Labour Party had gained 65,000 new party members. This morning a Labour press spokesman, while defending Ed Miliband’s leadership, again claimed 65,000 new party members.

    If the party’s press spokesman is telling the truth that means in over a year since the start of Ed Miliband’s leadership the Labour Party has not made a net gain of any more members. No surprise really, Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Harriet Harman seems to be leaving Ed Miliband to it!

    Maybe Harriet Harman is too busy letting her husband spunk up on her pussy, in her mouth and on her tits?

  147. 147
    E's my brov 'e iz says:

    I think that he actually sees himself as the acceptable face of torture.

  148. 148
    Anonnnnymouse. says:

    MiniMi and his side Kick No-Balls

  149. 149
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…?

    Ed hardly inspires anything…

  150. 150
    Is there no decent labour totty but a high flying eagle says:

    Harriet would be, er, cock-a-hoop.

  151. 151
    Mark Oaten says:

    Only two? I can think of at least 10.

  152. 152
    Anonnnnymouse. says:

    Could it be that 65,000 new members were existing Labour supporters who joined up because it was a £1 to do so?

    Could this just be a load of spin and BS? You’d never think it of the Labour party would you?

  153. 153
    Mark Oaten says:

    Hey Handycock I didn’t know you were posting on this blog with pseudonyms. The appalling spelling is a dead giveaway. Has the STD cleared up yet?

  154. 154
  155. 155
    Harriet Harmful says:

    We arrived at the figure of 65,000 by figuring 100 new members per seat on the average. Of course, in some constituencies Labour would figure to do far better than that, and in others, far worse. The only point for concern is that in certain constituencies where Labour would figure to do quite well, there really ARE only about 100 new potential voters, as the rest of them are in HM Prisons.

  156. 156

    Ed stabs and he’s white.

  157. 157
  158. 158
    Phil The Greek says:

    Feeling much better thank you p*easants. Now where’s my fucking gun, got some catching up to do.

  159. 159
    An Internal Labour Party Memo says:

    TO: Ed Miliband
    FROM: Tom Watson
    RE: Labour’s Image


    As you know, I am trying to develop new and exciting ways of spreading Labour’s message in conventional and new Social Media, with a view to finding possible future candidates for office, and within this remit comes the cultivation of new spokespersons for the Party, both online and in-person. On the one hand, online doesn’t present a problem, but on the other, in-person does.

    I am finding it exceedingly hard to find people who can hew to the Party line, as I give it to them to deliver unwaveringly, who can do so without a self-consciousness of looking a right prat. Fortunately, you and I are mercifully free of this failing and so we soldier on in Labour’s cause unceasingly, because we are on the side of the angels.

    I’ll keep working on it, Chief.


    Postscript= I still hate Swiftcover.

  160. 160
  161. 161
    Jimmy says:

    65k up is an odd definition of flatlining.

    And how are membership numbers holding up under lightweight?

    Not flatlining there either are they?

  162. 162
    Tom Badwind says:

    Fatson: you’re spinning faster than the Hadron Collider.

  163. 163
    nellnewman says:

    Ed more unpopular than gordon according to his own friends. But never mind they say they can get the public to like him by making him do more sofa interviews on the telly y’know like with piers morgan?!

    That worked for gordon didn’t it?!!

  164. 164
    nellnewman says:

    I don’t think 65000 more labour voters, even if they do exist which I doubt, are going to get ed into no.10 next time around.

  165. 165
    Ed Miliband says:

    I was going to let it all alone, Guido, but you’ve been pushing on me, and pushing on me, and pushing on me…

    There’s room enough for only one skunk-hair in this town. So I’ll leave.

  166. 166
    Passing Thought says:

    All the photos? Anyway, copious amounts of mindbleach duly required :S

  167. 167
  168. 168
    Times are tough and friends are few says:

    Miliband is in “extremis” andneeds to do the following 2012 or he’s finished politically within 12 months max

    1 Be honest with the electorate and treat them as adults. They know that Labour would be doing exactly the same as the Coalition and at the same pace…even if Labour weren’t keen themselves the eurozone crisis and the markets would have forced it upon them

    2. Have credible policies and stick to them not trimming this way and that to media and focus groups even if unpopular

    3. Cast the unions adrift(difficult in view of 86% of funding etc)but whilst Labour and you seem in thrall to them they will never win an election

    4. Come out against the expanson of EU powers and fiscal union etc.”Speaking for Britain” etc etc. Constructive with EU but will always err in the national interest bewteen EU Commission and Britain’s interests

    5. Start doing the “sofa circuit” and become more human in voters eyes

    6. Get Justine do do an interview for female targetted magazine..i.e.targetting the demographic/gender required to win an election.Why do you think Cameron is doing this ?(NOT Hello or OK Magazine though for Gods Sake !!!)

    7. Ditch Balls as Shadow Chancellor but promote his wife to position so Ball is neutralised from criticising his replacement. Appoint him as Shadow Leader of the House feeding him the same bullshit Blair fed Cooke and Straw in similar circumstances i.e. We need your undoubtted political skills to to fight the Tory policies etc etc putting the needs of the Party before personal ambition. And keep him off the box and out of the media at all costs everytime he appears/speaks it costs you votes

    8. Keep getting Cameron to appear in his “Flashman” guise at every opportunity during PMQs and avoid trying to score points….let him appear to be the bully and you the reasonable victim i.e. Tom Brown to his villian Cameron is head and shoulders above you as a performer at PMQs so just pick three topics where the Coalition is vulnerable(plus perhaps a current one each week) and raise them week after week after week.Politely,methodically with plenty of facts(proveable)to demolish Cameron’s counter-arguments and have briefing sheets readyy to distribute to the media after the event

    9 Stop jumping on bandwagons and speaking publicly before you find out the facts e.g. recent remarks on Clarkson alleged comments

    10. Get you brother into the Shadow Cabinet whatever it takes in jobs/influence short of leader of course.You need to lose the “far left” tag Remember the public hate someone whom they regard as a “fratricide” however untrue it may be.Brown took Mandelson into the fold after all despite their mutual antipathy.Cameron’s pre-Xmas remarks re brother damaged you seriously and it’s time to resolve it

  169. 169
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I actually don’t get sex with anybody. The line about me being gay was made up by one of my fakes.

  170. 170
    South of the M4 says:

    For the Labour faithful yes. The rest of us saw it for what it was – a manufactured interview to garner votes.

  171. 171
    Billy loves Guido says:

    where did you steal this line from Billy

  172. 172
    Heretic says:

    Billy ?

  173. 173
    South of the M4 says:

    With the same probability of scoring a hit.

  174. 174
    Really? says:

    Surely, this ABofC is the best thing that has happened to Catholicism since the Reformation?

  175. 175
    Heretic says:

    I thought ‘Those’ people circumcised CHILDREN !!.

  176. 176
    Heretic says:

    ‘Aaffer,leader of the Laybor party ? DING DONG.

  177. 177
    Timing says:

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Thatcher dies just before The Iron Lady is released? The box office receipts would be huge and her death would be the cause of the surge in profits. Capitalism at its purest. How ironic.

  178. 178
    nellnewman says:

    I think the truth is labour have lost the plot. They think that the UK is secretly socialist and just waiting for a gifted leftwing leader to lead them into the promised ‘progressive’ land’. If they think that leader is ed they’re madder than a box of frogs.

    There’s very little interest, apart from amongst the blinkered labour elite, in socialism. Across the world socialism is slowly dying following it’s discredited brother communism into terminal decline. The only question that remains is how long is it going to take.

  179. 179
    I dont believe it says:

    Huh you will be telling me next the Gordons Marriage was manufactured !

  180. 180
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Fail! No spelling mistaiks!

  181. 181
    nellnewman says:

    Apparently the beeb think’s bliar’s going first. They’ve just recorded his obituary.

    I wonder if it begins, ‘ His main claim to fame is that he criminally launched the Iraq War on a lie……”

  182. 182
    A Einstein says:

    On the subject,of all the characters to lead ANY political party
    at this time, a very obviously semitic individual, i would not let
    him anywhere NEAR the money !!!!!!.

  183. 183
    Anonnnnymouse. says:


  184. 184
    Anon says:

    Couldn’t they have drawn a big smiley face on him?

  185. 185
    NHS Deathcamp Commandant says:

    Why were you in such a hurry to escape be discharged?

  186. 186
    Adlof Hilter says:

    Circumcisions free for all!!!!!!.
    (do it with a private firm

  187. 187
    A Einstein says:

    Is that the synagogue ?

  188. 188
    anon says:

    “Ed more unpopular than gordon according to his own friends.”

    I think we can see right there that this story was made up by the Daily Mail.

    Ed? Friends? Yeah, right.

  189. 189
    The shite cartoonist appreciation society says:

    Ah, so that’s where JAS went after leaving the Mailygraph.

  190. 190
    nellnewman says:

    ah I see where you’re coming from. You mean that story was fed to the media by edballs?!

  191. 191
    pick'a'pocket says:

    DO NOT MALIGN ME ! i will cut your cock off !!!!!

  192. 192
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Ken Livingstone appears to be morphing into Yoda.

  193. 193
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Ken Livingstone seems to be morphing into Yoda.

  194. 194
    Pietro de Manslime says:

    Dogs sniff their own arse !

  195. 195
    Anon says:

    It would be capitalism at its purest if we bought shares in the film company tomorrow morning. (Hasn’t the film been released yet? It was finished ages ago, surely?)

    As for Bliar departing first, maybe the BBC have got wind he’s going to do us all a favour on New Year’s Eve. Not sure what his god’s going to think about him topping himself, but there again, after all Bliar’s done, I think we know exactly where he’s going in the afterlife.

  196. 196
    No more than 13,000 Poles will move to Britain (and other whoppers) says:

    His main claim to fame was saying lots of things which all turned out to be lies.

  197. 197
    annette curton says:

    What a prick!.

  198. 198
    anon says:

    Probably. It will be someone with something to gain by Ed M leaving.

    So that pins it down to.. the entire Labour Party. But probably Balls.

  199. 199
    Heretic says:

    Happy Hanukkah !

  200. 200
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed should just carry on being Ed!

  201. 201
    Edski says:

    you too 1

  202. 202
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Agree entirely, the man is a human statesman, big, bold and great. He is great. And he is also very great.

    So great infact he is the greatest great man around. And even though I would prefer the labore party not to be elected, with such a great man (the great big man) they will definitly be elected and with a great big majority, if they stay with such a great man.

    He is great and a statesman.

    In short he is a great statesman of the greatest kind. A great man, not funny in any way.

  203. 203
    annette curton says:

    Take it easy on the Donar Kebabs in 2012.

  204. 204
  205. 205
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Indifference is what he inspires.

  206. 206

    “We don’t comment on obituaries,” said a BBC spokeswoman.

    But they still use a tax on the public to make Blair’s.

  207. 207
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Gruan Cartoons eh?

    Not familiar with the cartoonist but the reader comments on this on are hillarious.

    The wailing and gnashing of teeth from the lefties when the Graun has a dig (however mildly) at one of their own is music to my old Tory ears.

    Meanwhile cartoonist Rawson offers up the same tedious ‘fat cat banker’ and ‘Osbourn as little Lord Fauntleroy’ garbage week after week after week, and they lap it up. It was faintly amusing at first but give it a rest FFS. I think Rawson is obsessend and probably a little unhinged, and/or completely lacking in wit and inspiration.

    If a nuclear bomb went off somewhere in the world tomorrow, the Graun cartoons for the following week would feature Rawson’s fat cats and Bell’s Cameron with a condom over his head, alternately, ad infinitum. Bell would probably stretch his lazy arse and include a mushroom cloud over Dave’s head.

  208. 208
    Community News says:

    Arrests after teenager stabbed to death on Oxford Street

    s, innit!

  209. 209

    Conveniently missing the point again, Jimmy.

    This morning a Labour press spokesman …

  210. 210
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    A Mr Geoffrey Yates comments: –

    “Soon the doctor will be played by a black lesbian woman with a wooden leg. “

    I do not doubt it Sir.

    No doubt she will also be a devotee of the Religion of Peace ™

  211. 211
    Mark N. Rich says:

    How appropriate to parody Where’s Wally, as Ed is the wally to beat all wallies. However crudely drawn a cartoon, it made its point immediately, without need for analysis and interpretation like another cartoon feature that I COULD name, but won’t.

  212. 212
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    A Mr Geoffrey Yates comments: –

    “Soon the doctor will be played by a black lesbian woman with a wooden leg. “

    I do not doubt it Sir.

    No doubt she will also be a devotee of the Religion of Peece* ™

    (*avoiding stupid automod – sort it out Guido FFS)

  213. 213
    F. Nicks says:

    Caught On Tape: Clerk Punches, Knocks Out Armed Robber

    Clerk Then Makes Suspect Clean Up His Own Blood

  214. 214
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    How about we all join Labour on mass so as to give a vote of confidence in Red Ed but just in case he does walk we make sure Redder Ed takes over.

    What a Balls Up that would be :-)

  215. 215
    Judge Lynch says:

    Lamp post=works for me.

  216. 216
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Cultural diversity innit?

  217. 217
    Christmas In Eurabia says:

  218. 218
    nostradamus says:

    How many have left this stupid party ? Only idiots would even consider voting for the commie Labour party, all talk and no brains just like the commie unions.

  219. 219
    stun says:

    Love the Sky ad at the beginning

  220. 220
  221. 221
    they make me puke says:

    When it returned Dr Who it was unmissable. Now it needs put out to grass again. Hunts cant even let it be good fun without their moralising fuckwittery.
    Hurry up and hang these Hunts from the lampposts.

  222. 222
    Tom Badwind says:


  223. 223
    In the Interest of Completeness says:

    A unipedal dark-complexioned moozlom fish-face IMMIGRANT–you left that one out, OTB.

  224. 224
    That Nice Mister Goebbels says:

    It has always astounded me that Conservative Central Office has not had massive, 50ft high banners of Blair’s blatant (and proven) lies made to be hung outside every polling station.

  225. 225
    Ed Balls says:

    Who, me? I think you have me confused with someone who operates openly and above board.

  226. 226
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Quite so. How remiss of me.

    I do however favour Peter Cooke’s funnier if incorrect term ‘unidexter’.

  227. 227
    BOB coCROWch says:

    oI !! ‘Ooo are you callin’ no brains ??? Right, everybody aht, we’re on strike agen !

  228. 228
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If the Original Dr who was made now, it would not be shown.

  229. 229
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    What a hoot, just think of the alternatives to Red Ed

    Red Testicles

    Gordon ‘Jobbie’ Brown

    Hattie Hatemenperson

    Yvette the 12 year old boy

    Red Ed’s brother

    Tony Bliar

    What a pile of shit

  230. 230
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    chuck up Umbama


  231. 231
    Postman Prat says:

    Me ?!

  232. 232
    A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

    BBCs Michael Buerk calls for a meaningful debate on climate change

  233. 233
    Ann Elk (Mrs) says:

    Oh and capitalism’s doing really well, is it?

  234. 234
    WVM says:

    Looks like he’s just shit his pants.

  235. 235
    Jimmy says:

    There was a point?

    You might have said.

  236. 236
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    we dont capitalisim, we have a mix of socialisim and copratisim.

  237. 237


    It’s like your head.

  238. 238
    Isaac Hunt says:

    But only relatives and then in the back.

  239. 239
    Holly says:

    Seeing the great new ‘New Generation’ Labour leader, hearing the financial guru Balls, or the prattling cheerleader Jowel is like eating a gorgeous bowl of porrige on your day off during a blizzard….Makes me smile and glad to be alive knowing they are well & truly fucked when it comes to Ed and winning elections.

    By elections are NOT a vote for Ed, stupid so sod off.
    Just look at that face….Hurting but not working!
    Tee hee

  240. 240
    Observer says:

    And the European Commission job was the best thing that happened to Lord Kinnock.

  241. 241
    interfering arseholes says:

    The BBC has got form with ‘The Doctor’. Script tampering started with Sylvester McCoy. These lefty meddlers really can’t be trusted.

  242. 242
    chinky bear keeper says:

    “Socialist politicians never lie, never spin the truth, never are economical with the facts and in fact are just much nicer people than the voting scum they are made reply on in the obviously rigged elections. I mean daily mail readers are allowed to vote rather than simply being shot outside the polling booths. If I had my way the labour party would simply walk into power because I know best and the little people would be required to worship the very turds they excrete” Polly Toynbee from her forthcoming new work of fiction – why I love democracy as long as I get to define what a democracy is … and then labour win no matter what

  243. 243
    Pilkington says:

    I suspect have of the population have spotted he is a wally.

    The other half will learn this fact during the coming weeks, months and years.

    Eventually even the Labour Party will realise it.

  244. 244
    Tone and Andy says:

    We’re rubbing the british people’s noses in street crime.

  245. 245
    interfering arseholes says:

    Btw, this is when I stopped watching Dr Who, as did others in their droves, and the series was subsequently shelved until the recent revival. Serve the dopey fuckwits right, the wankers.

  246. 246
    meedja studies says:

    What’s the most annoying film of recent times, Truly, Madly, Deeply or Love Actually?

  247. 247
    Universal Hiss says:

    Is there one for Orbit Lemsip?

  248. 248
    Harriet Hardaughter, QC says:

    While the 65 000 plus 65 000 addition cannot be expressed in Manmade numbers you will find that the members with vaginas are sufficient in number that they are equate to this inefficient mathematical expression.

  249. 249
    Confused cynic says:

    Plod kills Duggan. IPCC inquires. Long grass grows. Acceptable apparently.
    Black guy knifed in Oxford Street. Not acceptable.

  250. 250
    Borg Drone Won says:

    From the party that brought you 0% growth!

  251. 251
    Death in Clacton on Sea says:

    Billy makes his last visit to Clacton on Sea.

  252. 252
    Baby Heinrich says:

    Do not fret, Mein Fuhreress. We have him under control as per your orders.

  253. 253
    Barack Huseein Shabazz Soetero Osama Obama says:

    Krazee Kosmic Kwanzaa

  254. 254
    George o says:

    Because they are authoritarian pigs as I explained in Animal Farm

  255. 255
    Anon says:

    Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean series.

    They’re apparently making another – let’s hope they replace Johnny Depp with someone who can act.

  256. 256
    Anon says:

    I’d call for a meaningful debate on executing everyone at the BBC. Starting with Michael Burk.

  257. 257
    Sixth Form Nosepicker says:

    My Maths. Mistress used to rabbit on about imaginary numbers. I wish I had paid attention instead of fantasising about her amazing physical attributes, so I could now understand Labour Party membership arithmetic and economic policies.

  258. 258
    The forthcoming Dr Who episode says:

    Black lesbian woman who *might* have a wooden leg but we can’t see because of the burqa she’s wearing, and anyway, she’s about to be stoned to death for being a lezzer, whilst Harriet Harman orgasms at all the ‘diversity’ she sees in front of her.

  259. 259
    The forthcoming Dr Who episode says:

    She uses the Tardis to materialise inside her local Jobcentre Plus every 2 weeks, to claim her benefits.

  260. 260
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    The guy looks like a nonce
    How can you be less popular than McMental ?

    Now I hate Dave as much as the next truly conservative man but effing heck!!!!
    Given the choice between spending an evening with Londons number one Turkish albino and Fray Bentos face or the Millibands just who would you choose?

  261. 261
    Anon says:

    Whoever’s taken it over has definitely fucked it up, for sure. It’s become the same plotless garbage it was when it was shelved in the late 80s.

    Shame, because it was, as you say, unmissable.

  262. 262
    Anon says:

    It would if it was in surround-sound stereo and wide-screen HD colour.

    What we have now (the latest series) is just tosh.

    Doctor solves unsolvable problem with sonic screwdriver? Check.

    Doctor’s assistant pouts a bit? Check.

    Some sort of eco-themed plot? Check.

    Finish this off quickly and bugger-off down the pub? Check.

  263. 263
    Whames Jale says:

    Fed up with the BBC? Want to save yourself an index-linked £140 p.a? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    Myth: TV Licensing are ultra-efficient geniuses who can pinpoint an unlicensed set in the space of 20 seconds.

    Fact: TVL is a trading arm of Capita, the BBC’s bagmen. TVL employs moronic low-lifes as “enforcement officers”. These are nothing but salesmen who get an £18 commission for every licence they can “sell”. The BBC depends on doorstep confessions to get convictions.

    Myth: You will be fined £1000 if you are caught without a licence.

    Fact: First of all you have to be caught, and TVL’s goons are absurdly easy to outwit. But if you do ever get hauled before the magistrates, the fine is usually LESS than £140.

    The BBC has been spewing out propaganda about TV licensing for decades. Don’t believe it! The detector vans are a myth! All the BBC has in its armoury are lies, bluster, and 23 million threatograms a year — sourced from a flaky database run by the idiots at Capita.

    These sites:

    have all the information necessary to defend yourself against the BBC and its culture of demanding money with menaces.


    The anti-BBC movement is gaining strength all across the countryFed up with the BBC? Want to save yourself an index-linked £140 p.a? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  264. 264
    Apprentice Scrounger says:

    Social Services woman sez I can claim my Labour Membership Sub. as some Human Rights Benefit or summat. How does I fill the Form in since I busted my best righting hand black economyyying? Maybe the silly cow will do it for me if I tickle her fanny

  265. 265
    Andrew says:

    Maybe they both lied!

  266. 266
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    There isnt a straight man alive who didnt fancy that boy, although unlike B illy we woudnt have dragged him into a booth, bummed him then buried him in a shallow grave

  267. 267
    filipinomonkey says:

    All those pictures just for one shit…

  268. 268
    Anon says:

    To put it another way, if you had to hike around the Brecon Beacons for four days in rainy misty weather, just you and (a) Ed Miliband or (b) Dave Cameron, who would you choose? Because if you chose (a), you’re likely to die out there, either from boredom or from trying to save Ed’s stupid life as he (once again) falls into a raging river.

    Or you’d push him into the river, just to stop the cunt from whining for four days.

  269. 269
    david wisteria says:

    I prefer to walk thr Breacon Beacons on my own thank you very much.

  270. 270
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    Nice analogy

    It would be Dave who stayed with you unscrewed the flare and smoke and put you in your bag, stripped off and kept you alive
    Mongboy would just walk off hopefuly to his death accidentaly ignored by staff

  271. 271
    Teflon Tone says:

    Of course. I made all my millions thanks to the fxxxxxxking idiots that voted for New Labour, and passing the stinking parcel to that brown prat at just the right time.

  272. 272
    Eyes Watering in Anticipation says:

    It would be safer to get a crocodile to do a blowjob rather than Ms. Harperson

  273. 273
    Trad Tory says:

    The Beast of Bolsover would do a far better job. At least he bothers to attend the Commons and is proper Labour, unlike all the New Labour clones.

  274. 274
    Another Engineer says:

    I’ve camped on the summit in dodgy November weather on my own, and I reckon that was preferable, thanks.

    Dave might be just about far enough the right side of normal to be OK for a couple of days.

    However, if there was a chance of someone “accidentally” slipping off the edge of Pen-y-Fan in a storm then maybe taking Ed wouldn’t be too hard a choice.

    There is always the chance of running into a “rogue SAS officer” up there too…

  275. 275
    The Phantom of the Cinema says:

    ANYTHING with Humongo. Or Colin Froth, he of the “Different politics makes for different brains or vice versa or somesuch rot.”

    (As an aside, has anyone ever seen Juliet Stevenson and Frances McDormand together?)

  276. 276
    Got through this time says:

    We thought you’d been excommunicated by the Beeb, Alf.

  277. 277
    The Ghost of Robin Cook says:

    That’s what happened to me.

  278. 278
    Kenneth Horatio Maggie Chegwin says:

    No surprise as his genes originate from that region

  279. 279
  280. 280
    Well it's a thought says:

    If he was true Liebour, he would have resigned in shame for the last 13 years of rule but nohe didn’t, his pension and expenses lets us know what he thinks is more important.

  281. 281
    Kenneth Horatio Maggie Chegwin says:

    Agree, he is an intellectual collosus and international politician with outstanding achievements. The Unions can spot a good thing when they see it. He is a once-in-a-generation leader with a brain that is the size of a galaxy.

  282. 282
    Kenneth Horatio Maggie Chegwin says:

    Ed Balls may struggle to be re-elected by his constituents first.

  283. 283
    nellnewman says:

    Doubt it. The labour party haven’t got a working brain cell between them.

    They watched kinnochio self combust, michael foot did the same. grodon was so bad even bullyballs couldn’t bear to watch. Yet nobody in the labour party ever had the courage to get rid of any of them.

    And here is militwit the next labour disaster and they’ll follow him blindly in the 2015 election deluding themselves that he’s the next messiah of socialism and that he’s going to win them a massive majority. LOL!!!

  284. 284
    nellnewman says:

    I suspect Mr Cook that your downfall was a man called alycampbell.

    Good at that sort of thing wasn’t he?!

  285. 285
    nellnewman says:

    I think the question to ask is how much does the EU export to us?

    I suspect they’d get a bit worried if we started looking at how we could replace their exports with exports from other parts of the world. We’d most likely do it for less cost as well.

  286. 286
    Jimmy says:

    Jimmegh! Jimmmmmegggh!

  287. 287
    nellnewman says:

    edmiliband fails to win the electorate over on so many levels.

    He ‘won’ the leadership by stabbing his brother in the back

    The unions actually put him in power because they thought he’d make a good puppet and he has.

    He has no policies just a blank sheet of paper

    His shadow chancellor is the scarily incompetent ‘spendspendspend grodon clone’ bullyballs

    He doesn’t relate to real people…….

    He’s a sulky overgrown whining schoolboy

  288. 288
    LibLabCon = scum of the Earth says:

    That’s why they ban us from negotiating trade agreement with non-EU countries.

    If the Cuntservatives (or Liebore) had any fucking balls, we’d be out of the EU tomorrow.

    Alas.. we shall have to resort to burning down their constituency offices to get our point across.

  289. 289
    Mrs Thatcher says:

    I heard there’s a film about me. Evil Dead.

  290. 290
    Tin hats on everyone says:

    No – the new members where people replacing the ones that have died….

    Basic population studies…. if you have 6million people in your party- 1% will dies a year…

    that equates to 60 000 ….

    If your party membership and the UK population stays the same you will ergo get 60 000 new members

  291. 291 says:

    The less new members Ed gets, the more he will be in the pocket of the unions. The perfect electoral storm.

    Personally I wish him and the rest of the shadow cabinet the longest possible extension of their current relationships which are tarred by Brown and Blair and doomed to repeat their failure when in power, as well as being about as convivial as ferrets in a sack.

    Breathtaking bunch of liars, so no surprise to hear the conflicting statements about their membership. If they can’t do those figures correctly, why would anyone ever think they could handle the national finances!

  292. 292
    Trad Tory says:

    I think he was one of the few who didn’t abuse his expenses.

  293. 293
    The Ghost of Dr David Kelly says:

    I’d have to agree.

  294. 294
    Saffron says:

    Firstly the photos you put on Guido sez it all about that non english no mark RED ED just like his father.
    Secondly the Beeboid crowd do not anymore represent ENGLISH values they are stuffed full of second rate chancers who are in it for the cash and and to do their masters bidding with their left wing biased crap.
    Europa dream peddlers are right now shitting their pants and wondering what will happen shortly when the markets finally pull the plug on them,which they will do.
    After this a lot of questions will be asked and will these Europhile/Communist tossers be taken to task over their actions/ludicous descisions,methinks maybe it will happen if there is any kind of justice in this world.

  295. 295
    Trad Tory says:

    Universal New Year resolution —- everyone not to pay the 2012 Licence rip-off Fee.
    Bung up the Magistrates entire system throughout the U.K.

  296. 296
    Bin The BBC says:

    I don’t watch the TV at all because it’s crap. But I do like to give the TV licensing mongs the run around by simply binning their crap letters and simply saying, “I have nothing to say to you” and then closing the door on their faces. Sometimes they lean into your doorway like they are hard but they soon jump out of the way when the door swings towards them.

  297. 297
    Lard Pressclott says:

    Aye, ‘e’s proper. Like me.

  298. 298
    Anonymous says:

    You lefties make me laugh, you pay lip service to women’s equality, and when one actually had the balls to smash the glass ceiling and rescue the country from the socialist squalor she inherited from Labour, you start foaming at the mouth issuing death threats against the woman. Lovely people aren’t you?

  299. 299
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    You misheard; it’s about me. It’s called Evil Ed.

  300. 300
    555Richard Bacon555 says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you don’t value our television programming. Why not join the “me” instead for an afternoon of progressive repartee and sycophantic conformism on Five Live?

  301. 301
    Trad Tory says:

    No it isn’t lad. It’s because you are a lazy idle ignorant totally useless little xxxx. Your best bet is to become a teacher and xxxx up the next generation.

  302. 302
    Pilkington says:

    Ha, perhaps you are right!

    They do have a history of electing losers like Kinnock and Brown, although Ed Miliband feels vastly inferior to these celtic calamities. I suspect he’ll be a mere footnote in the history of the Labour party.

  303. 303
    Anonymous says:

    Eh? I certainly don’t fancy him, too skinny and no tits. I can understand someone from Belgium fancying him though.

  304. 304
    Anonymous says:

    What an arse licking little toad Bacon is. Despicable.

  305. 305

    A thousand years ago there was a chocolate bar called Fry’s Five Boys which the face of a lad was twisted in to various expressions.

    Lindsay Poulton, The Face of Fry's Five Boys

    I wouldn’t try to sell anything with Miliband’s face on it.

  306. 306
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    How about a target?

    It would sell out in seconds

    That or a shoe shine post that you could kick at least twice a day

  307. 307

    Yours is pork
    Mine islam

  308. 308
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I would pay a premium for Labour-front-bench bog roll.

    God bless the free market!

  309. 309
    Springbok says:

    Oh do sod of! To me as an White Anglos Saxon Protestant Female, Ed Miliband looks to me like a Polak, even more so, like an Romanian Gypsy. The Working Class of this Island will never vote for him, he looks nothing like us!

  310. 310
    A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

    I seem to remember Wee Doogie Alexanders sister had an intellect the size of the Hubble Horizon at least thats what her sychophantic lapdogs in the media told us.

  311. 311
    not a machine says:

    I was just wondering how there party debt was going ………… bit more to membership stats than meets eye , harriet said a lot of lib dem members were switching (which i doubted) in first 65,ooo , so flatline nothing new 65000 must involve a few gimicky moves eg turn up at meeting get discount membership , perhaps quite a few have left labour due to way they knackered economy .

    mmm as often a critique of aljabeeba if tonights first instalment of great expectations is anything to go by , it will be in my view best of Tv viewing this christmas , true that those of us like the David Lean cinematography with its bleak marshes , storyline, erie settings and charactures , perhaps were expecting somthing a bit light , but this remake captures some of the bits beautifully , Ray Winston as Magwitch is marvellous , but what a surprise in Gillian Anderson and her more revealing portrait of Miss Haversham , as is the blacksmiths setting and those little details ,I miss some of the more slightly pompous charactures but that may be in first films requirments I will be dissapointed if ending has been tampered with , but so far an utterly engageing peice ,so er well done BBC and masterpeice productions .

    Come to think of it I cant realy be arsed with considering what labour think anymore , they have lied about a great many things, only to be followed by denial and blame placed elsewhere , and they have played some unusual stunts so far , given we are in a bit of mess , I just want them to fess up and resign , not that many of them should be drawing money , in opposoition for what they have done .

  312. 312
    not a machine says:

    I rather like the idea of seeing if messers armatage shanks could do a range of wares with picture transfers of some of the front bench , vitrfied in , best sell them as set though as obviously some would be shithouse favourites .

  313. 313
    Guillaume le Batard says:

    I remember that chocolate bar quite well. I took some with me to the Battle of Hastings, actually.

  314. 314
    Balanced View says:

    Tory membership under Dave??

  315. 315

    I used to get that too!

    Can’t! Caaaaaan’t!!!! ;-)

  316. 316
    The Krankies says:

    Billy have you got any photos of this “spanking” taking place, we’d pay a handsome sum for them.

  317. 317
    Another Engineer says:

    Alternatively, bin the TV and download whatever you like from iPlayer.


    1) Watching iPlayer does not require a licence (as long as it isn’t live)
    2) You end up watching a lot less crap, but if there is something you really do want to watch, you still can.
    3) When the Crapita goons come round and you can wind them up as much as you like

  318. 318
    Not a Mum says:


  319. 319
    not a machine says:

    are you sure you ment under Dave ? Party rebranded to take on Labour machine , members were no longer needed in troika think tank , perhaps it will change , but all 3 parties are the same in party machine aspects , besides after expenses and knackering economy , politics lost what little integrity it could still manage to pay for , and our eyes were opened !

    but yes a lot of fomer members went never joined another party and quietly supported UKIP .

    Some do a great job intelliegnt , indeed honourable could be applied to them properly ,in looking after the laws , customs and adminstrations of the country , perhaps some could earn more in city , but some have been no mare than swaggwering crooks , in leaving an ecnomic mess such as this .

  320. 320
    not a machine says:

    surely not always being visceral is sign of bredth ?

  321. 321
    HM King Richard III says:

    There’s enough time for him for find some “safe seat” somewhere, even if he has to euchre the incumbent out one way or another. Balls is a crafty one and he has taken all that into account. He’ll still be around after the next election. He may have fewer Labour colleagues, and they will blame the other Ed; at which point, he may decide to answer his party’s call, if you catch my drift. We may wind up with two brothers in the Tower again, in a manner of sp**king; Ed will see to that.

  322. 322
    joescotus says:

    abaca….spot on..bendy wendy all you budding hacks out there should study how wendy was hyped up as an intellectual colossus…… then salmond ripped her a new arsehole every day she faced him. she was just another socialist spiv on the make

  323. 323
    joescotus says:

    did any hack … marr for example ask her how her hubby got elected in an all female short list ?

  324. 324
    joescotus says:

    behave this is a famely familly you know what i mean show

  325. 325
    joescotus says:

    awwwrriiiiihhh..awwriiiiiiiiiight …..awwwwwwwwriiit………fuck off and drown ya thick eu troughing welsh fucking wind turbine and that goes for your thick carpetbagging wife as well

  326. 326
    joescotus says:

    is’nt this the most repulsive politician…. would you buy a used car off this c,,&uunnt

  327. 327
    joescotus says:

    looks a bit like 4 sheets to the wind but your 100& right

  328. 328
    albacore says:

    Miliband or Cameron? Who to choose?
    Whichever gets picked, they win and we lose
    Our Parliament’s only a sinecure
    A wasting disease we’re cursed to endure
    One thing for sure is they don’t represent
    The British people, whose birthright they’ve spent

  329. 329
    WVM says:

    Answer the door and say “who are you and what do you want” upon hearing TV Licencing/BBC/Capita then slam the door shut and say nothing to them.


  330. 330
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol! says:

    What I’d give, if only they hadn’t done anything, and just sat on their duffs!

    *pa DOOM poom!*

  331. 331
    Gut wrenching says:

    If that is what he looks like when he’s making a speech, what does he look like when he is having a crap?

  332. 332
    David Battenburg says:

    Same thing with Ed, the man with no arsehole.

  333. 333
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    He wasn’t? Oh dear, someone should have told Arfur. After all he was funding them. He who pays the piper and all that….. not like today ;)

  334. 334
    Well it's a thought says:

    You have it wrong Dave is not a Tory or a Conservative, like the rest of these so called politicians he’s a chancer not a leader.

  335. 335
    Anonymous says:

    Whereas membership has boomed for the Cons. under dave??????

  336. 336
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    These lovely fellas get me up in the mornin.

  337. 337
    All over by Easter as UK prepares to seal borders and stop currency inflows says:

    Europe is the key…2012 is the year the Euro collapses ..

  338. 338
    Bingley ! Bingley ! Jesus Christ ! Bingleeeeeeeeeeey says:

    I preferred Jennifer Ehle myself

  339. 339
    whoooosh! says:

    The point is the opposition should be gaining with a new leader, you dick.

  340. 340
    Mayan says:

    We did warn you.

  341. 341
    CiderKing says:

    oh god, where am i? what day is it?

  342. 342
    Killer Dave says:

    are we chancers

    or are we human?

  343. 343
    anon says:

    The thought of minimal alcohol pricing seems to have hit Harry and Guido particularly hard this morning

  344. 344
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like sea men.

  345. 345
    Anonymous says:

    Go back to sleep, try next Monday.

  346. 346
    Billy, blott on the blogging landscape says:

    I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

  347. 347

    Since the only type available nowadays always allow your finger to poke through them, that might be considered to be an advantage…

  348. 348
    The BBC, idiots and wankers 'r us says:

    And don’t expect an apology from the BBC about it’s blatantly pro euro stance, which would have had us signed up, sealed and delivered to currency oblivion. Tossers.

  349. 349
    The Conservative Party says:

    Although the public doesn’t like Ed, we think he’s brilliant. Long may he continue to *cough* ‘lead’ his Party.

  350. 350
    Avoiding Rich and Mark says:

    Tuesday would be better.

  351. 351
    Contrarian says:

    Or not.

  352. 352
    Big Biscuit says:

    65000 New Labour members !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Utter nonsense. 65 possibly.

  353. 353

    How much longer is he going to make us look at these disturbing pictures?

    I didn’t get any sleep last night.

  354. 354
    wanka says:

    Why do London people fink its good to talk a bit fick like?

  355. 355
    Archer Karcher says:

    As did his families moral bankruptcy.

  356. 356
    Mr Helpful says:

    Use Firefox, right-click image, click ‘view image info’, select “block images from

    It also gets rid of the static adverts (for the others, use NoScript) and saves you the horror that is Monday Morning View.

  357. 357
    Maybe itz bcoz I'm a Londannaaaa says:

    Maybe itz coz we iz well bitchin fick. Innit.

  358. 358
    The Plot Thickens says:

    Oh, I don’t know–do you think it might have something to do with the fact that a lot of them really are thick? Naw couldn’t be, right?

  359. 359
    Twat Watch says:

    Wot a Twat.

  360. 360
    Bob Crow says:

    Alll u borejwa tipes mayk me sik! Upp da workaz! And garson! Brung me my faaakin botel of kroog!

  361. 361
    Thatcher says:

    What day is it? April?

  362. 362
    There IS Such a Thing As a Free Lunch says:

    Jeez Louise, if there weren’t any adverts Guido might have to charge subscriptions! We’d have to “Pay to Play”! I don’t know about you, mate, but I’d rather follow in the grand tradition of freeloading, like most everyone else in our society nowadays! Bring on the adverts!

    With you on the Monday cartoons, though.

  363. 363
    AC1 says:

    Wrong about AGW.
    Wrong about 1slam.
    Wrong about economics.
    Wrong about politics.
    Wrong about science!

  364. 364
    free speech innit? says:

    death to the infidel gayer, billy bumden!

  365. 365
    kim jong stiff says:

    Why is it enshrined in law that we pay these useless fuckers?

  366. 366
    chukup umunna says:

    Hope not, my accountants haven’t finished my tax return yet.

  367. 367
    A lying cheating bullying benefactor of bent and bonkers bankers + the Brhoon Bullshit Corpse says:

    When I was The Dear Leader NooLieBore was supreme! It was PROGRESSIVE and its tent acles reached everywhere. The masses flocked to join to show they loved me.

    Tractor production reached new highs! Every month 67,000 million were produced.

    And by a strange coincidence, every month I lifted 67,000 million UK children out of abject poverty also.

    I also saved the world and Africa several times.

    I WILL RETURN to My Rightful Place in History !!!

  368. 368
    EdButLookBalls says:

    For an increased image and look, why doesn’t retardED have an haircut like Red Testicles, he’s almost there with his own!

  369. 369
    ayeless in gazza says:

    Awah, we is a lot ficker than youse lotta soothern poofters, why aye!

  370. 370
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin prepared to open dialogue with Guido Fawkes and Neo-Guido – Reuters

  371. 371
    Margaret Moran says:

    Don’t worry, Chuckup – if you’re caught fiddling your tax again, just pretend to be mad. Hell, like the good socialist I am, I stole £60K from the workers we pretend to protect and I’m getting off Scot-free. So steal away, Chuckup, steal away!

  372. 372
    The joys of imm!gration says:

    Fortunately, the really thick ones are stabbing and shooting each other on a daily basis. Day by day, slowly but surely, the average Londoner’s IQ climbs.

  373. 373
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And by the way, Ladbrooks won’t let you put a tenner on a black kid stabbing another in London today, they don’t like losing, those bookies.

  374. 374
  375. 375
    Barry Normal says:

    A film about Gordon Brown’s term in office is in pre production. Word is that Ian and Jeanette Krankie are favourites to play Gordon and Sarah.

  376. 376
    Anon says:

    “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the European Parliament.”

    How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

  377. 377
    Anon says:

    Fucking moderation! Right, let’s try again..

    “1 per cent want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the European Parliament.”

    How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

  378. 378
    odds on says:

    Like you would say no to a bit of backstabbing by a black kid Billy.

  379. 379
    YorkshireLad says:

    Keep up the good work, Edward, the longer you’re leader, the longer Labour will be in opposition.

  380. 380
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I saw a woman arguing with a foreign waiter at my local cafe.

    The waiter was saying, “We don’t serve black pudding here.”

    “I didn’t want to order any “, replied the woman “Just some tea and toast.”

    “Ms. Price”, sighed the waiter “Just take your son and fuck off.”

  381. 381
    Director of Broadmoor says:

    Nurse! Nurse! He’s escaped again.

  382. 382
    Christmas In Eurabia says:

    “Black guy knifed in Oxford Street. Not acceptable.”

    Makes sense, couldn’t have the shoplifters rioting and then plod tasering innocent shoppers on Cressida Dick’s orders…

  383. 383
    George Orwell says:

    The clock has struck thirteen and no new threads? Heckuva pisser, musta been!

  384. 384
    another anon says:

    Anon says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    December 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the Europe-an Parliament.”

    How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

    Your comment might not appear anywhere on the site but via IE browser it is miraculously downloading on mine. Moderation is useless with the p-e-a word failings [now adjusted] .

  385. 385
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Bombardier, the train maker, wins a new contract to make railway stock, after losing out to Siemens over another contract, and having to make hundreds of redundancies.
    Oh what bullshit we are fed.
    Contracts take something like 2 years to cost and tender. Bombardier were going to restructure the Derby based company anyway. Bombardier used the loss to Siemens as an excuse to get rid of personnel.
    Now Bombardier can hire new staff on different terms and conditions, knowing all along that they would win another contract.
    Oh the smell!

  386. 386
    say what you see says:

    Why ffs? They’re all shit!

  387. 387
    All politicians are CUNTS says:

    Labour probably sign them up on their way in at Dover.

  388. 388
    Billy Bowden is the biggest cunt ever ! says:

    Free market = free choice not to view adverts!

  389. 389
    ADHD Anonymous says:

    Me me me!

  390. 390
    Rufus Stone says:

    Or Mrs Balls, or Hillarious Benn, or Harriet Harriden, or…. Is there acceptable Labour politician suited to be party leader?

  391. 391
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Who will play Balls ?

  392. 392
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    And Billy is coming up the rear
    There is only a legnth in it
    Billy is pulling away from behind
    Nose to nose

    Its a photo finish to be posted online

  393. 393
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    the wankies?

  394. 394
    another anon says:

    Anon says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    December 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the Europe-an Parliament.”

    How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

    Your comment might not appe-ar anywhere on the site but via IE browser it is miraculously downloading on mine. Moderation is useless with the p-e-a word failings [now adjusted] .

  395. 395
    The BBC are Cunts says:

    Perfect example of BBC impartiality, “( inaudible)…live in a World where people don’t normally vote Tory”.

  396. 396
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Good to see normal moniker thiefs about.

  397. 397
    another anon says:

    When I sign in as Billy B instead of billy x then maybe you have just cause for complaint William

  398. 398
    another anon says:

    Mentioned the same at 344 but suggested that it was Cameron’s thought of supporting a rise in alcohol prices that were keeping our hosts in bed.

  399. 399
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    don’t know what you are talking about

    by the way Seb Coe thinks the Plympics are going to be great

  400. 400
    Taxfodder says:

    Westminster GP states Parliamentarians drinks too much…

    Dr Wollaston is not the first person to have raised concerns over the amount of alcohol consumed in parliament.

    Commons doctor, Ira Madan raised concerns that the availability of alcohol was creating a culture of alcohol misuse.

    However, her recommendations made three years ago fell on deaf ears and the doors of the drinks cabinets at Westminster have remained irresistibly open.

    So in view of the great cheap booze tax grab no doubt the MP’s taxpayer funded cheap drinks bar at Parliament will hit the buffers…especially as we are now all in it together…

  401. 401

    I tried that and it stopped me from viewing any pr0n.

    I have now got to approach my 93 year old mother and ask her if she will remove the parental lock. How do I couch my question please?

  402. 402
    Colonel Blimp says:

    More good news!

    Hope it hurts!

  403. 403
    pedants r us says:

    Using Plympsolls no doubt.

  404. 404
    Seb Coe is a cunt. says:

    I should hope they will be great, given that they’re costing us about £13billion. A mere £10billion more than Seb said they’d cost.

  405. 405
    Trad Tory says:

    At least Bombadier makes stuff that is useful and potentially exportable. Unlike the politicians, bankers and other financial service parasites, public service bureaucrats, etc etc who do no real work at all.

  406. 406
    Anon says:

    “I’m abused by other artists for voting Tory”

    No, Emin’s abused by all and sunder because she’s a talentless slut.

  407. 407
    Anon says:

    Oh, that’s cool! So if we all post as ‘Anon’, we’ll all see each others’ comments held pending moderation?

    Mind you, I can see a downside to my cunning plan.

  408. 408
    minor medic says:

    You have a strange perception of good news, Colonel.
    While supporting your probable thoughts regarding possible halting of Falkland Islands happenings I would not wish thyroid cancer on any poor soul.

  409. 409
    Pete Townshend says:

    Tell her you need to knock one out do some research.

  410. 410
    Apathy Rising says:

    I quite enjoy sport but the Olympics don’t really have enough substance to capture the attention of a bored ant.

    Watching people running from A to B in a variety of different ways makes staring at a goldfish in a bowl seem exciting.

  411. 411
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    It’s the fire-retarding chemicals used in fabrics, you see. If one spends enough time sniffing the furniture or the curtains, one is more than likely to catch cancer of the thyroid. Boring, but true.

  412. 412
    a non says:

    Goes to show that if we were brave enough to choose a fixed nom de plume like BBITGUE, Schroeds’ Cat etc and suffer the continual abuse they are forced to accept we would have less trouble with the mod.
    One upside might be the ability to mention Gu-ido. Neo Gu-ido, B-illy, Pa-ul, Har-ry pe@, ri-ce et al without the hyphen. {even the word alc-o-hol in comments now banned!}

  413. 413
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    58 my arse!

    probably worth a ride 30 years ago Id rather wake up to tutenkamen at least I could pawn the mask

    Reagan (pbuh) and Lady T were ready to nuke the fuckers
    Cant see rusty bullet hole doing the same

  414. 414
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    I hear what you say, sir, but I would suggest that watching Jessica Ennis contort her body beyond the limits of what is humanly possible is well worth the twelve billion pounds or so.

  415. 415
    minor medic. MEO. DEO. LLEI says:


  416. 416
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    Just why would you sniff soft furnishings ?????

  417. 417
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    a rich talentless slut

  418. 418
    Really? says:

    Comment of the year!

  419. 419
    Seb Spo says:

    Are we going to have to go through the contrived ‘get the crowd involved handclapping’ bollocks when every Brit tries to jump into a sandpit or over a stick?

    That needs banned immediately. No more of that. Its silly.

  420. 420
    a non says:

    Neo Gui-do is almost functioning on 3 cylinders on twitter.
    Must we expect a new thread soon?

  421. 421
    Joss Sayin says:

    Must be a “friend of the Conservatives” then.

  422. 422
    Silly Sally Bigcow says:

    Sounds more like me !

  423. 423
    say what you see says:

    Fuck off Billy you media whore.

  424. 424
    A Degenerate Punter says:

    Watching horses run from A to B in a variety of ways (“different” is a tautology) can be very exciting if one has wagered the odd bob on the outcome. Who’s making book on the Olympic Games?

  425. 425
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    How did you know that was me

  426. 426
    a non says:

    taking credit for my ‘a non’ comment Billy?

    Please send me the next Friday caption contest t shirt when it undoubtedly arrives at your door

  427. 427
    Gordon Brown says:

    I tend to sniff the sofa to check whether it’s time for my nappy-change, don’t I, nurse?

  428. 428
    Winston Churchill says:

    The brandy snifter and I were on quite intimate terms. I still won the bloody war for you, didn’t I?

  429. 429
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ho Ho ho

    I see my moniker has been taken for a joyride.


  430. 430
    Birmingham Short Arse says:

    3 cylinders good:

  431. 431
    Oh Well says:

    What’s a few bob here and there between friends.

  432. 432
    zzzzzzzzzz says:

    Fuck off you c’unt!

  433. 433
    arsehole watch says:

    The media whore, chavtastic ADHD arsehole speaks!

  434. 434
    How? says:

    The smell precedes you.

  435. 435
    Labour Membership Audit says:

    Well, it’s true – 65’000 extra members a year, according to our postal applications! Well done comrades!

    64’951 of them seem to be called Mr Yusuf Islam Mohammed, all living at 64 Mosque Lane Bradford but I’m sure this is just a blip in the records.

  436. 436
    cynic2 says:

    Is it true that those Milliband photos were taken by a secret NoW Camera hidden in his loo?

  437. 437
    Bendy Boris's Bosch says:

    If the olympic-sized twats want limp-wristed “come on Tim” hand claps I’ll bring plenty of vuvuzelas to compensate.

  438. 438
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I sniff the hosts knickers.

  439. 439
    Billy Blowhard says:

    New post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post

    God, I think I’ve cum a little.

  440. 440
    Gordon Brown says:


  441. 441
    Really? says:

    There are moments when I miss those detested arrows.

  442. 442
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    When we made stuff

    Nice post

  443. 443
    Really? says:


  444. 444
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    Pre booth Billy

  445. 445
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Your comment has nothing to do with the point I am making.

  446. 446
    Apathy Rising says:

    David Cameron ‘plans to impose minimum price for alcohol’

    Presumably that’ll end cheap booze in the H o P (I think not).

    Dumb idea.

  447. 447
    dave wisteria says:

    Who wants to drink cheap booze when you can drink fine claret which is here in abundance thanks to our eu membership card.

    We have so much to thank ted heath for I think we should give him a posthumous state funeral

  448. 448
    Gorgon Brown says:

    Diesn’t that mean the membership rate is slowing under Ed and Harriet Hateman?

  449. 449
    E(l)ton Benny says:

    The story continues: “He assembled a number of ‘angry young writers’ to produce storylines that they hoped would foment anti-Thatcher dissent. They included Ben Aaronovitch, son of the late Marxist intellectual Sam Aaronovitch, and Rona Munro, who went on to become a scriptwriter for Ken Loach, the socialist film-maker.

    Read more:

    What? No Ben Elton? Only he could write anti-Thatcher material.

  450. 450
    Laxative advertising says:

    Do the photos above come with copy-write ?

  451. 451
    Maximus Decimus says:

    Labour leadership concerns.

  452. 452
    new labour=evil? era of evil 1997-2010 says:

    Labour have no intention of cleaning up their mess or chopping unions down to tree stumps size they want eg ed milliband leading when bulk of mess is cleaned up by conservatives they ll have another tony blair messiah shuffled in to repeat 1997-2010 all over again then force uk to take euro currency if they get into power you know they will do that 10 million immigrants in uk cos of new labour

  453. 453
    leftwingloather says:

    Bingo, couldn’t agree more. Hate all socialists. Hypocrites, the lot of them.

  454. 454
    Xavier Onassis says:

    First thing Millibore did on becoming leader was to get a nose-job (on the NHS at our expense, naturally) to stop him looking so freaky.

    It obviously hasn’t worked!

    Still, here’s hoping the freak stays as head of Liebour until the next election, even a wimp like Cameron couldn’t fail to beat him.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers