December 27th, 2011

Labour Membership Flatlining Under Miliband

Over a year ago Harriet Harman, speaking at a Labour delegates reception, claimed that the Labour Party had gained 65,000 new party members. This morning a Labour press spokesman, while defending Ed Miliband’s leadership, again claimed 65,000 new party members.

If the party’s press spokesman is telling the truth that means in over a year since the start of Ed Miliband’s leadership the Labour Party has not made a net gain of any more members. No surprise really, Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think Ed is a wonderful leader.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    HarrietHarman,porn& PIE excuser hardly inspires confidence, not unless your a perv.

    • 90
      Hattie has little piggy iiiiii's says:

      Even her hubby won a nomination from an all-wimmin’s list.
      Did he maybe wear Hatties giraffe-skin outfit?
      Most becoming ….. if you’re another giraffe.

    • 149
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…?

      Ed hardly inspires anything…

  3. 4
    Lou Scannon says:

    Every one a weiner.

    • 22
      Anthony Weiner, disgraced FORMER "Member" of Congress says:

      You can call me an idiot, a perv, a joke, but when you compare me to Ed Miliband I’m afraid you’ve gone too far; expect to hear from my lawyers.

    • 34
      Ed Tackle says:

      I don’t like weiners.

    • 182
      A Einstein says:

      On the subject,of all the characters to lead ANY political party
      at this time, a very obviously semitic individual, i would not let
      him anywhere NEAR the money !!!!!!.

  4. 6
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Keep up the good work Red Ed :-)

  5. 7
  6. 8
    Save Ed says:

    Labour and truth telling? You’ve got to be kidding

  7. 9
    Andrew Efiong says:

    I’m tempted to join the party just so I can vote to keep this plonker in the job.

    But then I realised my vote would not matter because the union barons get to pick the leader. That’s why this Star Trek character got the part instead of his superior brother.

  8. 12
    jm says:


    In the past 2 years they have gained 130,000 members.

    According to their postal survey.

    • 15
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      At a steady rate of 65,000 a year? How very Tractor Factory. This increase will of course be verified by receipts published in the Labour Party’s public accounts, won’t it?

      • 71
        Labour Party Spokescreature says:

        The receipts verifying our membership increase will be made available once we can find ourselves a friendly printer.

      • 264
        Apprentice Scrounger says:

        Social Services woman sez I can claim my Labour Membership Sub. as some Human Rights Benefit or summat. How does I fill the Form in since I busted my best righting hand black economyyying? Maybe the silly cow will do it for me if I tickle her fanny

    • 26
      Ben E FitzClements says:

      Funny how Ramsay MacDonald manages to be at the top of the list of 65,000 every year.

    • 29
      Official Labour Liar says:

      I can hereby confirm that paper clip production is at an all time record high, due in no small me*asure to comrade le*ader Miliband’s courageous and vital support.

    • 187
      A Einstein says:

      Is that the synagogue ?

    • 250
      Borg Drone Won says:

      From the party that brought you 0% growth!

  9. 14
    Well it's a thought says:

    The two balls he keeps around his neck are the best thing he has done, it will stop him getting anywhere near real power, 3 turn off’s for the public to admire for just one look.

  10. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So this is the famous 0% rise that Labour predicted?

  11. 18
    Ed and circuses says:

    Judging by the look on his face, that must have been one hell of a dry wank.

  12. 19
    God says:

    The continued presence of Little Milliband as “leader” of even such a dismal organisation as the Labour Party underlines Mankind’s unerring capacity for suicidal stupidity. The Conservatives are laughing as they watch the puerile antics of this inept sham of a politician

  13. 21
    Terrible But True says:

    Not one?

    Can’t wait to see how the BBC runs with this.

    Meanwhile, across the closed for comment landscape that is the national £4Bpa national 24/7, 365/365, ‘off for the school hols’ ‘news’ monopoly we are left with this to savour for weeks..

    So, first New Year post?: ‘Labour Leader maintains party support into 2012′

    Even Goebells might have blushed.

  14. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ‘He’s a nice guy but all that people see is someone who is a policy wonk and stabbed his brother in the back.’

    nuff said.

    • 30
      Ex-Labour voter says:

      What people see is an awkward lisping freak, a product of damaged DNA, a puppet of the communist union leaders, a fervent supporter of the detested EU, a moron with no ideas and no policies (other than to continue Brown’s policy of financially raping taxpayers and spray the money over benefit-claiming parasitic filth).

    • 92
      Cosa Nostril says:

      He is not a nice guy. He is at the head of a criminal conspiracy to steal from taxpayers.

    • 171
      Billy loves Guido says:

      where did you steal this line from Billy

  15. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And to think he had to get married as well.

    Keep going Ed, the country needs you in your current post!

  16. 35
    Leave me alone Labour says:

    Despite having nothing to do with the Labour Party, they have sent three membership packs to my address since last summer. Go away!

    • 49
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      If there’s a prepaid envelope, send them back with a bit extra — some scrap iron or a brick or three. The fox-hunting loons sent the League Against Cruel Sports a defunct Land Rover, in pieces.

  17. 39
    Labour=Looter's Friend says:

    Is warmongering offshore investment banker Tony Blair still a member of the Labour party?

    • 45
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      Are you talking about Landlord Blair?

    • 271
      Teflon Tone says:

      Of course. I made all my millions thanks to the fxxxxxxking idiots that voted for New Labour, and passing the stinking parcel to that brown prat at just the right time.

  18. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just a serious question.

    Say Ed stays, loses the gen election, could Labour then really elect his brother as leader? surely the time has passed for D Miliband?

  19. 41
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Kim Young Un could give RedEd a few tips. There are many parallels in their lives. Their fathers were both Marxist intellectuals.

    They both have the state broadcasters in their pockets.

    • 54
      Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

      Red Ed is not quite as photogenic as Kim Jong Un. Their political ideologies are identical.

  20. 44
    God says:

    Has anyone noticed how Little Milliband is appearing more overtly “middle eastern” in facial appearance!

  21. 59
    When the messenger becomes the message..Sack the messenger !! says:

    Oh dear. Oh dear…where did it all go so wrong for Labour…two duffers in a row as leader.

  22. 60
    Labour moron says:

    Loads of Labour voters out shopping in Oxford street yesterday.
    Sheeple and shoplifters mostly.
    Titled en I.

  23. 62
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Weren’t most of the new memberships just the Unions buying dummy ones so that they could swing the leadership vote?

    • 290
      Tin hats on everyone says:

      No – the new members where people replacing the ones that have died….

      Basic population studies…. if you have 6million people in your party- 1% will dies a year…

      that equates to 60 000 ….

      If your party membership and the UK population stays the same you will ergo get 60 000 new members

  24. 63
    david wisteria says:

    A poor advert for a Comprehensive School education if you ask me.

    He epitomises everything that is wrong with the UK: plenty of santimonious criticism , no concrete policies of his own and a predeliction for promoting all the wrong people.

    The sooner he is off the scene the sooner we can find a socialist leader truly in touch with the business world who will make sure we have a commissioned aircraft carrier plus a 96% employment rate with no state ownership of Banks.

  25. 64
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a member.

  26. 65
    Apathy Rising says:

    “What I know about myself is a very strong sense of who I am…….”

    Dances with daisies.

  27. 69
    Collectivism is dead says:

    The more evolved Cameron is ..
    The more primitive labour will be.

    Human nature.

  28. 70
    Alf Garnett says:

    It is hardly surprising that, after time-serving for 13 years of a Labour government dedicated to swindling, warmaking, self-promotion and Thatcher worship, led by a madman and his deranged wife, then by another loopy Scot, of whom the least said the better, this dreadful apparatchik Milliband is bereft of ideas, let alone sense.

    It doesn’t matter how hard he tries, this tax-saving expert has no conception at all about how the rest of us (probably known to him as “the common people”) have to make shift these days.

    His peculiar looks and mannerisms might not be such a drawback if only he had some sort of spark in him. As it is, he has none, and is as dull as ditchwater to boot.

    At least with him in place, we have no chance of being forced to endure another 13 years of quasi-Tory government with the likes of Mandelson, Uddin, the “ones that got away”, Lard “Pathfinder” Prescott and the Antichrist Blair (presumably some kin of Linda, of “The Exorcist”) piddling on our backs whilst emptying our pockets.

    • 78
      When the messenger becomes the message..Sack the messenger !! says:

      Even if he was up against someone slightly less disastrous than he is like IDS as leader of the Tory Party Ed would be a very poor second but of course just it was IDS’s misfortune to be up against a performer as gifted as Bliar and Foot’s to be up against Mrs T an equally gifted player so it is Ed’s misfortune to be up against a Tory leader who is as gifted as Bliar was at the zenith of his abilities in playing the “great game” of politics for the gullible masses

    • 79
      Ed 'special needs' Millimong says:

      Bleep. Wibble.

    • 81
      Anonymous says:

      All very true, Alf.

      The stage is set for the emergence of a new order to rid us of all these theiving liblabcons, and then repatriate all the foreigners. Fat Irish criminals first.

    • 276
      Got through this time says:

      We thought you’d been excommunicated by the Beeb, Alf.

  29. 75
    Billy Bowden is the biggest cunt ever ! says:

    Which one is his ‘sex’ face?

  30. 80
    Pilkington says:

    Ed Miliband is the Tories’ greatest asset. His odd voice, the deranged body language, the weirdo haircut, everything whispers “odd”.

    Give him a donkey jacket and David Cameron will reign for a decade.

  31. 82
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Do the bBBC know something we don’t?
    Should we start celebrating?–PM-just-58-years-old.html

    • 94
      Anon says:

      Oh, please let it be so!

      Gadaffi, Bin Liner, Kim Jung Il.. there’s still four days left for another mass-murderer to die before 2012.

    • 102
      I wish it were so says:

      Sorry to disappoint but this is standard practice in news outlets. I worked at one and there were prepared obits for the Queen, Queen Mother (then still alive), the Pope etc. It makes sense to have obits ready to go in case of a sudden death. As morbid as it sounds, there’ll be obits written and recorded already for Cameron, Brown etc. Well, not morbid where Brown’s concerned.

      • 105
        What? says:

        So, just obit of advance planning then.

      • 117
        Some Geezer wot has heard "Crocodile Tears" eulogies in his time says:

        Well, in the QM’s case it made sense, as with HRH The Duke of Edinburgh now (and Lady Thatcher, when you think about it) to be ready to go at any time. And with those individuals, the course of life is pretty well run, and pretty much all they’ve done is all they’re ever likely to do. Blair’s obit, however, is a different story, and will bear much updating and revision (downward one assumes) as the years wear on. To the topic at hand, what does Ed Miliband’s obit say? I’m thinking along the lines of “De Mortuus Nihil Nisi Bonum” and just proceed to stock market, weather and sports.

      • 247
        Universal Hiss says:

        Is there one for Orbit Lemsip?

  32. 83
    A BBC/Labour party spokes-arseole says:

    hmmm, this is worrying not even Radio Five Labour’s constant and shameless pro-Labour bias has swayed things yet

  33. 86
    BBC Shirtlifter says:

    We love Ed.

  34. 88
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am backing Ed!

    Vote Labour!

    • 91
      A Labour-educated chav with 13 A* GCSEs says:

      i want mor benufit muhnee! wil ed mileeband giv me n me m8s mor muhneee? lyk the last laybor guvurnment gived us mor muhnee?

      • 95
        Education,ejjercation, edyukayshun says:

        Did your teecher tell you wot kwestions they wud be arksing in the exams ??

        • 99
          A Labour-educated chav with 13 A* GCSEs says:

          yes, thay done that 4 uz. n if we gotted the kwestyuns rong, we just ree-tooked the examz agayn l8r.

          or a clasrume asistunt sitted wiv uz n helped wiv the kwetsyuns djooring the examz.

          • Levi says:

            Listen blud. Does you wont a treeD telly? Me haz got fyve Panafonik haychD treeD teeveez. Dey iz all brand noo and inopened. I got dem at a wickid sale in Augost. Der iz just a bit ov damag 2 da boxes cos ov fire at, er, in me garage. Bargen pryce. Check it. Booka.

          • Mark Oaten says:

            Hey Handycock I didn’t know you were posting on this blog with pseudonyms. The appalling spelling is a dead giveaway. Has the STD cleared up yet?

  35. 96
    The Iron Lady UK Trailer says:

    Let’s remind ourselves of a true leader. Are you watching from Tuscany Polly? Or what about you Harriett?

  36. 98
    I love France says:

  37. 107
    Little Miss Prism says:

    Yes, officer, it was the one at top right who stole my vomit flavoured M&Ms.

  38. 108
    Ed is the new Michael Foot says:

  39. 109
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I know a loser when I see one. Ed Miliband the tories best vote winner. How stupid are the labour party!

    • 112
      Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

      Well, they let me ‘run’ the Country…

      • 118
        Peter Mandelson says:

        You have a point. Although everyone agreed privately that Gordon was “mad, bad and dangerous”, we all stated publicly that he was “the best man to run Britain.”

  40. 116
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am joining the Labour party because of Ed Miliband!

  41. 125
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Are they his ‘vinegar stroke’ faces?

  42. 127
    PrinceTight says:

    Nine pictures of Ed recalling his circumcision.

  43. 129
    joescotus says:

    ed is and forever will be a loser, simple as that.

    • 136
      I want Labour to be shafted at the next election says:

      I disagree. Ed has the charisma, energy and intellect to lead his Party to victory at the next election. I think he’s a great leader for his Party, and he will be a great leader for Great Britain. A great, progressive leader, taking Britain forward.

      His Party should not consider sacking him, that would be calamitous. Like most people in Britain, I feel privileged to live at the same point in history as Ed Miliband, and I feel sorry for the previous generations who were unable to gaze upon him. At least future generations, in the centuries to come, will be able to read about him, gaze upon statues of him in public places, and no doubt visit many museums, libraries and universities that will be dedicated to his name.

      So in summary, I for one would sell my house and all its contents to help Ed Miliband fight and win the next election. I’d even sell one (or perhaps even both) of my lungs. He really is *that* good.

      Stick with Ed, Labour! Well done, Ed!

      • 202
        labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        Agree entirely, the man is a human statesman, big, bold and great. He is great. And he is also very great.

        So great infact he is the greatest great man around. And even though I would prefer the labore party not to be elected, with such a great man (the great big man) they will definitly be elected and with a great big majority, if they stay with such a great man.

        He is great and a statesman.

        In short he is a great statesman of the greatest kind. A great man, not funny in any way.

        • 281
          Kenneth Horatio Maggie Chegwin says:

          Agree, he is an intellectual collosus and international politician with outstanding achievements. The Unions can spot a good thing when they see it. He is a once-in-a-generation leader with a brain that is the size of a galaxy.

          • A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

            I seem to remember Wee Doogie Alexanders sister had an intellect the size of the Hubble Horizon at least thats what her sychophantic lapdogs in the media told us.

          • joescotus says:

            abaca….spot on..bendy wendy all you budding hacks out there should study how wendy was hyped up as an intellectual colossus…… then salmond ripped her a new arsehole every day she faced him. she was just another socialist spiv on the make

  44. 130
    cynic2 says:

    There was a young man called Ed
    About whom, not much could be said
    With personality zero
    He wasn’t a hero
    And made even Balls seem to have cred

  45. 131
    Alfie, aged 17, says:

    eeven tho i gotted like 20 gcse’s, i aint got no job offas or nuffin sinse i leeved scool.

    i rekon itz the toree cuts innit.

    • 301
      Trad Tory says:

      No it isn’t lad. It’s because you are a lazy idle ignorant totally useless little xxxx. Your best bet is to become a teacher and xxxx up the next generation.

  46. 134
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    He will never get over the fact that he shafted his brother – how can anyone trust him? Ed also told us that the talks about forming a coalition with the Lib Dems were going well, supported Brown for ages, apparently doesn’t like his 2nd or 3rd choice Chancellor and has all the charisma of a damp flannel.

  47. 135
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I think Dead Red Ed has been watching too many old Frankie Howerd videos ;-)

  48. 137
    CiderKing says:

    who is this man and how did he get here?

  49. 138
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    ‘R.I.P. Tony Blair as BBC film his obituary’.

    We cracked open the champers when we read this headline. Oh, the feeling of utter dejection when we realised that the Beeb had nothing else to do. A damned false alarm. Re-cork the Bollinger, Jacqueline.

  50. 139
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Here’s great shot of me with one of my heroes.

  51. 143
    OMFG !!! says:

    OMFG !!!

  52. 144
    Labour activist tries to boost party morale says:

    Come on, comrades. I know Ed M is shit but things could be worse. We could have had Ed Balls as leader!

    • 282
      Kenneth Horatio Maggie Chegwin says:

      Ed Balls may struggle to be re-elected by his constituents first.

      • 321
        HM King Richard III says:

        There’s enough time for him for find some “safe seat” somewhere, even if he has to euchre the incumbent out one way or another. Balls is a crafty one and he has taken all that into account. He’ll still be around after the next election. He may have fewer Labour colleagues, and they will blame the other Ed; at which point, he may decide to answer his party’s call, if you catch my drift. We may wind up with two brothers in the Tower again, in a manner of sp**king; Ed will see to that.

    • 390
      Rufus Stone says:

      Or Mrs Balls, or Hillarious Benn, or Harriet Harriden, or…. Is there acceptable Labour politician suited to be party leader?

  53. 145
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Over a year ago Harriet Harman, spanking at a Labour delegates reception, claimed that the Labour Party had gained 65,000 new party members. This morning a Labour press spokesman, while defending Ed Miliband’s leadership, again claimed 65,000 new party members.

    If the party’s press spokesman is telling the truth that means in over a year since the start of Ed Miliband’s leadership the Labour Party has not made a net gain of any more members. No surprise really, Ed hardly inspires enthusiasm…

    • 316
      The Krankies says:

      Billy have you got any photos of this “spanking” taking place, we’d pay a handsome sum for them.

    • 448
      Gorgon Brown says:

      Diesn’t that mean the membership rate is slowing under Ed and Harriet Hateman?

  54. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Harriet Harman seems to be leaving Ed Miliband to it!

    Maybe Harriet Harman is too busy letting her husband spunk up on her pussy, in her mouth and on her tits?

    • 323
      joescotus says:

      did any hack … marr for example ask her how her hubby got elected in an all female short list ?

  55. 148
    Anonnnnymouse. says:

    MiniMi and his side Kick No-Balls

  56. 152
    Anonnnnymouse. says:

    Could it be that 65,000 new members were existing Labour supporters who joined up because it was a £1 to do so?

    Could this just be a load of spin and BS? You’d never think it of the Labour party would you?

  57. 155
    Harriet Harmful says:

    We arrived at the figure of 65,000 by figuring 100 new members per seat on the average. Of course, in some constituencies Labour would figure to do far better than that, and in others, far worse. The only point for concern is that in certain constituencies where Labour would figure to do quite well, there really ARE only about 100 new potential voters, as the rest of them are in HM Prisons.

  58. 157
  59. 158
    Phil The Greek says:

    Feeling much better thank you p*easants. Now where’s my fucking gun, got some catching up to do.

  60. 159
    An Internal Labour Party Memo says:

    TO: Ed Miliband
    FROM: Tom Watson
    RE: Labour’s Image


    As you know, I am trying to develop new and exciting ways of spreading Labour’s message in conventional and new Social Media, with a view to finding possible future candidates for office, and within this remit comes the cultivation of new spokespersons for the Party, both online and in-person. On the one hand, online doesn’t present a problem, but on the other, in-person does.

    I am finding it exceedingly hard to find people who can hew to the Party line, as I give it to them to deliver unwaveringly, who can do so without a self-consciousness of looking a right prat. Fortunately, you and I are mercifully free of this failing and so we soldier on in Labour’s cause unceasingly, because we are on the side of the angels.

    I’ll keep working on it, Chief.


    Postscript= I still hate Swiftcover.

  61. 160
    • 165
      Ed Miliband says:

      I was going to let it all alone, Guido, but you’ve been pushing on me, and pushing on me, and pushing on me…

      There’s room enough for only one skunk-hair in this town. So I’ll leave.

    • 219
      stun says:

      Love the Sky ad at the beginning

  62. 161
    Jimmy says:

    65k up is an odd definition of flatlining.

    And how are membership numbers holding up under lightweight?

    Not flatlining there either are they?

    • 168
      Times are tough and friends are few says:

      Miliband is in “extremis” andneeds to do the following 2012 or he’s finished politically within 12 months max

      1 Be honest with the electorate and treat them as adults. They know that Labour would be doing exactly the same as the Coalition and at the same pace…even if Labour weren’t keen themselves the eurozone crisis and the markets would have forced it upon them

      2. Have credible policies and stick to them not trimming this way and that to media and focus groups even if unpopular

      3. Cast the unions adrift(difficult in view of 86% of funding etc)but whilst Labour and you seem in thrall to them they will never win an election

      4. Come out against the expanson of EU powers and fiscal union etc.”Speaking for Britain” etc etc. Constructive with EU but will always err in the national interest bewteen EU Commission and Britain’s interests

      5. Start doing the “sofa circuit” and become more human in voters eyes

      6. Get Justine do do an interview for female targetted magazine..i.e.targetting the demographic/gender required to win an election.Why do you think Cameron is doing this ?(NOT Hello or OK Magazine though for Gods Sake !!!)

      7. Ditch Balls as Shadow Chancellor but promote his wife to position so Ball is neutralised from criticising his replacement. Appoint him as Shadow Leader of the House feeding him the same bullshit Blair fed Cooke and Straw in similar circumstances i.e. We need your undoubtted political skills to to fight the Tory policies etc etc putting the needs of the Party before personal ambition. And keep him off the box and out of the media at all costs everytime he appears/speaks it costs you votes

      8. Keep getting Cameron to appear in his “Flashman” guise at every opportunity during PMQs and avoid trying to score points….let him appear to be the bully and you the reasonable victim i.e. Tom Brown to his villian Cameron is head and shoulders above you as a performer at PMQs so just pick three topics where the Coalition is vulnerable(plus perhaps a current one each week) and raise them week after week after week.Politely,methodically with plenty of facts(proveable)to demolish Cameron’s counter-arguments and have briefing sheets readyy to distribute to the media after the event

      9 Stop jumping on bandwagons and speaking publicly before you find out the facts e.g. recent remarks on Clarkson alleged comments

      10. Get you brother into the Shadow Cabinet whatever it takes in jobs/influence short of leader of course.You need to lose the “far left” tag Remember the public hate someone whom they regard as a “fratricide” however untrue it may be.Brown took Mandelson into the fold after all despite their mutual antipathy.Cameron’s pre-Xmas remarks re brother damaged you seriously and it’s time to resolve it

    • 209

      Conveniently missing the point again, Jimmy.

      This morning a Labour press spokesman …

  63. 163
    nellnewman says:

    Ed more unpopular than gordon according to his own friends. But never mind they say they can get the public to like him by making him do more sofa interviews on the telly y’know like with piers morgan?!

    That worked for gordon didn’t it?!!

    • 170
      South of the M4 says:

      For the Labour faithful yes. The rest of us saw it for what it was – a manufactured interview to garner votes.

    • 188
      anon says:

      “Ed more unpopular than gordon according to his own friends.”

      I think we can see right there that this story was made up by the Daily Mail.

      Ed? Friends? Yeah, right.

  64. 167
    • 178
      nellnewman says:

      I think the truth is labour have lost the plot. They think that the UK is secretly socialist and just waiting for a gifted leftwing leader to lead them into the promised ‘progressive’ land’. If they think that leader is ed they’re madder than a box of frogs.

      There’s very little interest, apart from amongst the blinkered labour elite, in socialism. Across the world socialism is slowly dying following it’s discredited brother communism into terminal decline. The only question that remains is how long is it going to take.

    • 189
      The shite cartoonist appreciation society says:

      Ah, so that’s where JAS went after leaving the Mailygraph.

    • 207
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Gruan Cartoons eh?

      Not familiar with the cartoonist but the reader comments on this on are hillarious.

      The wailing and gnashing of teeth from the lefties when the Graun has a dig (however mildly) at one of their own is music to my old Tory ears.

      Meanwhile cartoonist Rawson offers up the same tedious ‘fat cat banker’ and ‘Osbourn as little Lord Fauntleroy’ garbage week after week after week, and they lap it up. It was faintly amusing at first but give it a rest FFS. I think Rawson is obsessend and probably a little unhinged, and/or completely lacking in wit and inspiration.

      If a nuclear bomb went off somewhere in the world tomorrow, the Graun cartoons for the following week would feature Rawson’s fat cats and Bell’s Cameron with a condom over his head, alternately, ad infinitum. Bell would probably stretch his lazy arse and include a mushroom cloud over Dave’s head.

    • 211
      Mark N. Rich says:

      How appropriate to parody Where’s Wally, as Ed is the wally to beat all wallies. However crudely drawn a cartoon, it made its point immediately, without need for analysis and interpretation like another cartoon feature that I COULD name, but won’t.

      • 243
        Pilkington says:

        I suspect have of the population have spotted he is a wally.

        The other half will learn this fact during the coming weeks, months and years.

        Eventually even the Labour Party will realise it.

        • 283
          nellnewman says:

          Doubt it. The labour party haven’t got a working brain cell between them.

          They watched kinnochio self combust, michael foot did the same. grodon was so bad even bullyballs couldn’t bear to watch. Yet nobody in the labour party ever had the courage to get rid of any of them.

          And here is militwit the next labour disaster and they’ll follow him blindly in the 2015 election deluding themselves that he’s the next messiah of socialism and that he’s going to win them a massive majority. LOL!!!

          • Pilkington says:

            Ha, perhaps you are right!

            They do have a history of electing losers like Kinnock and Brown, although Ed Miliband feels vastly inferior to these celtic calamities. I suspect he’ll be a mere footnote in the history of the Labour party.

          • joescotus says:

            awwwrriiiiihhh..awwriiiiiiiiiight …..awwwwwwwwriiit………fuck off and drown ya thick eu troughing welsh fucking wind turbine and that goes for your thick carpetbagging wife as well

  65. 177
    Timing says:

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Thatcher dies just before The Iron Lady is released? The box office receipts would be huge and her death would be the cause of the surge in profits. Capitalism at its purest. How ironic.

    • 181
      nellnewman says:

      Apparently the beeb think’s bliar’s going first. They’ve just recorded his obituary.

      I wonder if it begins, ‘ His main claim to fame is that he criminally launched the Iraq War on a lie……”

      • 196
        No more than 13,000 Poles will move to Britain (and other whoppers) says:

        His main claim to fame was saying lots of things which all turned out to be lies.

        • 224
          That Nice Mister Goebbels says:

          It has always astounded me that Conservative Central Office has not had massive, 50ft high banners of Blair’s blatant (and proven) lies made to be hung outside every polling station.

      • 206

        “We don’t comment on obituaries,” said a BBC spokeswoman.

        But they still use a tax on the public to make Blair’s.

    • 183
      Anonnnnymouse. says:


    • 195
      Anon says:

      It would be capitalism at its purest if we bought shares in the film company tomorrow morning. (Hasn’t the film been released yet? It was finished ages ago, surely?)

      As for Bliar departing first, maybe the BBC have got wind he’s going to do us all a favour on New Year’s Eve. Not sure what his god’s going to think about him topping himself, but there again, after all Bliar’s done, I think we know exactly where he’s going in the afterlife.

  66. 200
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed should just carry on being Ed!

  67. 204
    • 210
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      A Mr Geoffrey Yates comments: -

      “Soon the doctor will be played by a black lesbian woman with a wooden leg. “

      I do not doubt it Sir.

      No doubt she will also be a devotee of the Religion of Peace ™

      • 258
        The forthcoming Dr Who episode says:

        Black lesbian woman who *might* have a wooden leg but we can’t see because of the burqa she’s wearing, and anyway, she’s about to be stoned to death for being a lezzer, whilst Harriet Harman orgasms at all the ‘diversity’ she sees in front of her.

    • 212
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      A Mr Geoffrey Yates comments: -

      “Soon the doctor will be played by a black lesbian woman with a wooden leg. “

      I do not doubt it Sir.

      No doubt she will also be a devotee of the Religion of Peece* ™

      (*avoiding stupid automod – sort it out Guido FFS)

      • 223
        In the Interest of Completeness says:

        A unipedal dark-complexioned moozlom fish-face IMMIGRANT–you left that one out, OTB.

        • 226
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Quite so. How remiss of me.

          I do however favour Peter Cooke’s funnier if incorrect term ‘unidexter’.

        • 259
          The forthcoming Dr Who episode says:

          She uses the Tardis to materialise inside her local Jobcentre Plus every 2 weeks, to claim her benefits.

    • 221
      they make me puke says:

      When it returned Dr Who it was unmissable. Now it needs put out to grass again. Hunts cant even let it be good fun without their moralising fuckwittery.
      Hurry up and hang these Hunts from the lampposts.

      • 241
        interfering arseholes says:

        The BBC has got form with ‘The Doctor’. Script tampering started with Sylvester McCoy. These lefty meddlers really can’t be trusted.

        • 245
          interfering arseholes says:

          Btw, this is when I stopped watching Dr Who, as did others in their droves, and the series was subsequently shelved until the recent revival. Serve the dopey fuckwits right, the wankers.

        • 449
          E(l)ton Benny says:

          The story continues: “He assembled a number of ‘angry young writers’ to produce storylines that they hoped would foment anti-Thatcher dissent. They included Ben Aaronovitch, son of the late Marxist intellectual Sam Aaronovitch, and Rona Munro, who went on to become a scriptwriter for Ken Loach, the socialist film-maker.

          Read more:

          What? No Ben Elton? Only he could write anti-Thatcher material.

      • 261
        Anon says:

        Whoever’s taken it over has definitely fucked it up, for sure. It’s become the same plotless garbage it was when it was shelved in the late 80s.

        Shame, because it was, as you say, unmissable.

    • 228
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      If the Original Dr who was made now, it would not be shown.

      • 262
        Anon says:

        It would if it was in surround-sound stereo and wide-screen HD colour.

        What we have now (the latest series) is just tosh.

        Doctor solves unsolvable problem with sonic screwdriver? Check.

        Doctor’s assistant pouts a bit? Check.

        Some sort of eco-themed plot? Check.

        Finish this off quickly and bugger-off down the pub? Check.

  68. 205
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Indifference is what he inspires.

  69. 214
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    How about we all join Labour on mass so as to give a vote of confidence in Red Ed but just in case he does walk we make sure Redder Ed takes over.

    What a Balls Up that would be :-)

  70. 218
    nostradamus says:

    How many have left this stupid party ? Only idiots would even consider voting for the commie Labour party, all talk and no brains just like the commie unions.

    • 227
      BOB coCROWch says:

      oI !! ‘Ooo are you callin’ no brains ??? Right, everybody aht, we’re on strike agen !

  71. 222
    Tom Badwind says:


    • 225
      Ed Balls says:

      Who, me? I think you have me confused with someone who operates openly and above board.

    • 242
      chinky bear keeper says:

      “Socialist politicians never lie, never spin the truth, never are economical with the facts and in fact are just much nicer people than the voting scum they are made reply on in the obviously rigged elections. I mean daily mail readers are allowed to vote rather than simply being shot outside the polling booths. If I had my way the labour party would simply walk into power because I know best and the little people would be required to worship the very turds they excrete” Polly Toynbee from her forthcoming new work of fiction – why I love democracy as long as I get to define what a democracy is … and then labour win no matter what

    • 326
      joescotus says:

      is’nt this the most repulsive politician…. would you buy a used car off this c,,&uunnt

  72. 229
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    What a hoot, just think of the alternatives to Red Ed

    Red Testicles

    Gordon ‘Jobbie’ Brown

    Hattie Hatemenperson

    Yvette the 12 year old boy

    Red Ed’s brother

    Tony Bliar

    What a pile of shit

  73. 232
    A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

    BBCs Michael Buerk calls for a meaningful debate on climate change

    • 256
      Anon says:

      I’d call for a meaningful debate on executing everyone at the BBC. Starting with Michael Burk.

  74. 234
    WVM says:

    Looks like he’s just shit his pants.

  75. 239
    Holly says:

    Seeing the great new ‘New Generation’ Labour leader, hearing the financial guru Balls, or the prattling cheerleader Jowel is like eating a gorgeous bowl of porrige on your day off during a blizzard….Makes me smile and glad to be alive knowing they are well & truly fucked when it comes to Ed and winning elections.

    By elections are NOT a vote for Ed, stupid so sod off.
    Just look at that face….Hurting but not working!
    Tee hee

    • 287
      nellnewman says:

      edmiliband fails to win the electorate over on so many levels.

      He ‘won’ the leadership by stabbing his brother in the back

      The unions actually put him in power because they thought he’d make a good puppet and he has.

      He has no policies just a blank sheet of paper

      His shadow chancellor is the scarily incompetent ‘spendspendspend grodon clone’ bullyballs

      He doesn’t relate to real people…….

      He’s a sulky overgrown whining schoolboy

  76. 246
    meedja studies says:

    What’s the most annoying film of recent times, Truly, Madly, Deeply or Love Actually?

    • 255
      Anon says:

      Any of the Pirates of the Caribbean series.

      They’re apparently making another – let’s hope they replace Johnny Depp with someone who can act.

    • 275
      The Phantom of the Cinema says:

      ANYTHING with Humongo. Or Colin Froth, he of the “Different politics makes for different brains or vice versa or somesuch rot.”

      (As an aside, has anyone ever seen Juliet Stevenson and Frances McDormand together?)

  77. 251
    Death in Clacton on Sea says:

    Billy makes his last visit to Clacton on Sea.

    • 266
      President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

      There isnt a straight man alive who didnt fancy that boy, although unlike B illy we woudnt have dragged him into a booth, bummed him then buried him in a shallow grave

      • 303
        Anonymous says:

        Eh? I certainly don’t fancy him, too skinny and no tits. I can understand someone from Belgium fancying him though.

  78. 260
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    The guy looks like a nonce
    How can you be less popular than McMental ?

    Now I hate Dave as much as the next truly conservative man but effing heck!!!!
    Given the choice between spending an evening with Londons number one Turkish albino and Fray Bentos face or the Millibands just who would you choose?

    • 268
      Anon says:

      To put it another way, if you had to hike around the Brecon Beacons for four days in rainy misty weather, just you and (a) Ed Miliband or (b) Dave Cameron, who would you choose? Because if you chose (a), you’re likely to die out there, either from boredom or from trying to save Ed’s stupid life as he (once again) falls into a raging river.

      Or you’d push him into the river, just to stop the cunt from whining for four days.

      • 269
        david wisteria says:

        I prefer to walk thr Breacon Beacons on my own thank you very much.

      • 270
        President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

        Nice analogy

        It would be Dave who stayed with you unscrewed the flare and smoke and put you in your bag, stripped off and kept you alive
        Mongboy would just walk off hopefuly to his death accidentaly ignored by staff

      • 274
        Another Engineer says:

        I’ve camped on the summit in dodgy November weather on my own, and I reckon that was preferable, thanks.

        Dave might be just about far enough the right side of normal to be OK for a couple of days.

        However, if there was a chance of someone “accidentally” slipping off the edge of Pen-y-Fan in a storm then maybe taking Ed wouldn’t be too hard a choice.

        There is always the chance of running into a “rogue SAS officer” up there too…

      • 277
        The Ghost of Robin Cook says:

        That’s what happened to me.

  79. 263
    Whames Jale says:

    Fed up with the BBC? Want to save yourself an index-linked £140 p.a? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    Myth: TV Licensing are ultra-efficient geniuses who can pinpoint an unlicensed set in the space of 20 seconds.

    Fact: TVL is a trading arm of Capita, the BBC’s bagmen. TVL employs moronic low-lifes as “enforcement officers”. These are nothing but salesmen who get an £18 commission for every licence they can “sell”. The BBC depends on doorstep confessions to get convictions.

    Myth: You will be fined £1000 if you are caught without a licence.

    Fact: First of all you have to be caught, and TVL’s goons are absurdly easy to outwit. But if you do ever get hauled before the magistrates, the fine is usually LESS than £140.

    The BBC has been spewing out propaganda about TV licensing for decades. Don’t believe it! The detector vans are a myth! All the BBC has in its armoury are lies, bluster, and 23 million threatograms a year — sourced from a flaky database run by the idiots at Capita.

    These sites:

    have all the information necessary to defend yourself against the BBC and its culture of demanding money with menaces.


    The anti-BBC movement is gaining strength all across the countryFed up with the BBC? Want to save yourself an index-linked £140 p.a? YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    • 295
      Trad Tory says:

      Universal New Year resolution —- everyone not to pay the 2012 Licence rip-off Fee.
      Bung up the Magistrates entire system throughout the U.K.

    • 296
      Bin The BBC says:

      I don’t watch the TV at all because it’s crap. But I do like to give the TV licensing mongs the run around by simply binning their crap letters and simply saying, “I have nothing to say to you” and then closing the door on their faces. Sometimes they lean into your doorway like they are hard but they soon jump out of the way when the door swings towards them.

    • 300
      555Richard Bacon555 says:

      I’m sorry to hear that you don’t value our television programming. Why not join the “me” instead for an afternoon of progressive repartee and sycophantic conformism on Five Live?

    • 317
      Another Engineer says:

      Alternatively, bin the TV and download whatever you like from iPlayer.


      1) Watching iPlayer does not require a licence (as long as it isn’t live)
      2) You end up watching a lot less crap, but if there is something you really do want to watch, you still can.
      3) When the Crapita goons come round and you can wind them up as much as you like

    • 329
      WVM says:

      Answer the door and say “who are you and what do you want” upon hearing TV Licencing/BBC/Capita then slam the door shut and say nothing to them.


  80. 267
    filipinomonkey says:

    All those pictures just for one shit…

  81. 279
    • 285
      nellnewman says:

      I think the question to ask is how much does the EU export to us?

      I suspect they’d get a bit worried if we started looking at how we could replace their exports with exports from other parts of the world. We’d most likely do it for less cost as well.

      • 288
        LibLabCon = scum of the Earth says:

        That’s why they ban us from negotiating trade agreement with non-EU countries.

        If the Cuntservatives (or Liebore) had any fucking balls, we’d be out of the EU tomorrow.

        Alas.. we shall have to resort to burning down their constituency offices to get our point across.

  82. 289
    Mrs Thatcher says:

    I heard there’s a film about me. Evil Dead.

    • 298
      Anonymous says:

      You lefties make me laugh, you pay lip service to women’s equality, and when one actually had the balls to smash the glass ceiling and rescue the country from the socialist squalor she inherited from Labour, you start foaming at the mouth issuing death threats against the woman. Lovely people aren’t you?

    • 299
      Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

      You misheard; it’s about me. It’s called Evil Ed.

    • 309
      Springbok says:

      Oh do sod of! To me as an White Anglos Saxon Protestant Female, Ed Miliband looks to me like a Polak, even more so, like an Romanian Gypsy. The Working Class of this Island will never vote for him, he looks nothing like us!

  83. 291 says:

    The less new members Ed gets, the more he will be in the pocket of the unions. The perfect electoral storm.

    Personally I wish him and the rest of the shadow cabinet the longest possible extension of their current relationships which are tarred by Brown and Blair and doomed to repeat their failure when in power, as well as being about as convivial as ferrets in a sack.

    Breathtaking bunch of liars, so no surprise to hear the conflicting statements about their membership. If they can’t do those figures correctly, why would anyone ever think they could handle the national finances!

  84. 294
    Saffron says:

    Firstly the photos you put on Guido sez it all about that non english no mark RED ED just like his father.
    Secondly the Beeboid crowd do not anymore represent ENGLISH values they are stuffed full of second rate chancers who are in it for the cash and and to do their masters bidding with their left wing biased crap.
    Europa dream peddlers are right now shitting their pants and wondering what will happen shortly when the markets finally pull the plug on them,which they will do.
    After this a lot of questions will be asked and will these Europhile/Communist tossers be taken to task over their actions/ludicous descisions,methinks maybe it will happen if there is any kind of justice in this world.

  85. 305

    A thousand years ago there was a chocolate bar called Fry’s Five Boys which the face of a lad was twisted in to various expressions.

    I wouldn’t try to sell anything with Miliband’s face on it.

    • 306
      President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

      How about a target?

      It would sell out in seconds

      That or a shoe shine post that you could kick at least twice a day

    • 308
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      I would pay a premium for Labour-front-bench bog roll.

      God bless the free market!

    • 312
      not a machine says:

      I rather like the idea of seeing if messers armatage shanks could do a range of wares with picture transfers of some of the front bench , vitrfied in , best sell them as set though as obviously some would be shithouse favourites .

    • 312
      Guillaume le Batard says:

      I remember that chocolate bar quite well. I took some with me to the Battle of Hastings, actually.

  86. 311
    not a machine says:

    I was just wondering how there party debt was going ………… bit more to membership stats than meets eye , harriet said a lot of lib dem members were switching (which i doubted) in first 65,ooo , so flatline nothing new 65000 must involve a few gimicky moves eg turn up at meeting get discount membership , perhaps quite a few have left labour due to way they knackered economy .

    mmm as often a critique of aljabeeba if tonights first instalment of great expectations is anything to go by , it will be in my view best of Tv viewing this christmas , true that those of us like the David Lean cinematography with its bleak marshes , storyline, erie settings and charactures , perhaps were expecting somthing a bit light , but this remake captures some of the bits beautifully , Ray Winston as Magwitch is marvellous , but what a surprise in Gillian Anderson and her more revealing portrait of Miss Haversham , as is the blacksmiths setting and those little details ,I miss some of the more slightly pompous charactures but that may be in first films requirments I will be dissapointed if ending has been tampered with , but so far an utterly engageing peice ,so er well done BBC and masterpeice productions .

    Come to think of it I cant realy be arsed with considering what labour think anymore , they have lied about a great many things, only to be followed by denial and blame placed elsewhere , and they have played some unusual stunts so far , given we are in a bit of mess , I just want them to fess up and resign , not that many of them should be drawing money , in opposoition for what they have done .

  87. 314
    Balanced View says:

    Tory membership under Dave??

    • 319
      not a machine says:

      are you sure you ment under Dave ? Party rebranded to take on Labour machine , members were no longer needed in troika think tank , perhaps it will change , but all 3 parties are the same in party machine aspects , besides after expenses and knackering economy , politics lost what little integrity it could still manage to pay for , and our eyes were opened !

      but yes a lot of fomer members went never joined another party and quietly supported UKIP .

      Some do a great job intelliegnt , indeed honourable could be applied to them properly ,in looking after the laws , customs and adminstrations of the country , perhaps some could earn more in city , but some have been no mare than swaggwering crooks , in leaving an ecnomic mess such as this .

    • 334
      Well it's a thought says:

      You have it wrong Dave is not a Tory or a Conservative, like the rest of these so called politicians he’s a chancer not a leader.

  88. 318
    Not a Mum says:


  89. 328
    albacore says:

    Miliband or Cameron? Who to choose?
    Whichever gets picked, they win and we lose
    Our Parliament’s only a sinecure
    A wasting disease we’re cursed to endure
    One thing for sure is they don’t represent
    The British people, whose birthright they’ve spent

  90. 331
    Gut wrenching says:

    If that is what he looks like when he’s making a speech, what does he look like when he is having a crap?

  91. 335
    Anonymous says:

    Whereas membership has boomed for the Cons. under dave??????

  92. 336
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    These lovely fellas get me up in the mornin.

  93. 341
    CiderKing says:

    oh god, where am i? what day is it?

  94. 343
    anon says:

    The thought of minimal alcohol pricing seems to have hit Harry and Guido particularly hard this morning

  95. 344
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like sea men.

  96. 346
    Billy, blott on the blogging landscape says:

    I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

  97. 352
    Big Biscuit says:

    65000 New Labour members !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Utter nonsense. 65 possibly.

  98. 353

    How much longer is he going to make us look at these disturbing pictures?

    I didn’t get any sleep last night.

    • 356
      Mr Helpful says:

      Use Firefox, right-click image, click ‘view image info’, select “block images from

      It also gets rid of the static adverts (for the others, use NoScript) and saves you the horror that is Monday Morning View.

      • 362
        There IS Such a Thing As a Free Lunch says:

        Jeez Louise, if there weren’t any adverts Guido might have to charge subscriptions! We’d have to “Pay to Play”! I don’t know about you, mate, but I’d rather follow in the grand tradition of freeloading, like most everyone else in our society nowadays! Bring on the adverts!

        With you on the Monday cartoons, though.

      • 401

        I tried that and it stopped me from viewing any pr0n.

        I have now got to approach my 93 year old mother and ask her if she will remove the parental lock. How do I couch my question please?

  99. 354
    wanka says:

    Why do London people fink its good to talk a bit fick like?

    • 357
      Maybe itz bcoz I'm a Londannaaaa says:

      Maybe itz coz we iz well bitchin fick. Innit.

    • 358
      The Plot Thickens says:

      Oh, I don’t know–do you think it might have something to do with the fact that a lot of them really are thick? Naw couldn’t be, right?

      • 369
        ayeless in gazza says:

        Awah, we is a lot ficker than youse lotta soothern poofters, why aye!

      • 372
        The joys of imm!gration says:

        Fortunately, the really thick ones are stabbing and shooting each other on a daily basis. Day by day, slowly but surely, the average Londoner’s IQ climbs.

  100. 359
    Twat Watch says:

    Wot a Twat.

  101. 360
    Bob Crow says:

    Alll u borejwa tipes mayk me sik! Upp da workaz! And garson! Brung me my faaakin botel of kroog!

  102. 361
    Thatcher says:

    What day is it? April?

    • 366
      chukup umunna says:

      Hope not, my accountants haven’t finished my tax return yet.

      • 371
        Margaret Moran says:

        Don’t worry, Chuckup – if you’re caught fiddling your tax again, just pretend to be mad. Hell, like the good socialist I am, I stole £60K from the workers we pretend to protect and I’m getting off Scot-free. So steal away, Chuckup, steal away!

    • 375
      Barry Normal says:

      A film about Gordon Brown’s term in office is in pre production. Word is that Ian and Jeanette Krankie are favourites to play Gordon and Sarah.

  103. 364
    free speech innit? says:

    death to the infidel gayer, billy bumden!

  104. 367
    A lying cheating bullying benefactor of bent and bonkers bankers + the Brhoon Bullshit Corpse says:

    When I was The Dear Leader NooLieBore was supreme! It was PROGRESSIVE and its tent acles reached everywhere. The masses flocked to join to show they loved me.

    Tractor production reached new highs! Every month 67,000 million were produced.

    And by a strange coincidence, every month I lifted 67,000 million UK children out of abject poverty also.

    I also saved the world and Africa several times.

    I WILL RETURN to My Rightful Place in History !!!

  105. 368
    EdButLookBalls says:

    For an increased image and look, why doesn’t retardED have an haircut like Red Testicles, he’s almost there with his own!

  106. 370
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin prepared to open dialogue with Guido Fawkes and Neo-Guido – Reuters

  107. 373
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And by the way, Ladbrooks won’t let you put a tenner on a black kid stabbing another in London today, they don’t like losing, those bookies.

    • 378
      odds on says:

      Like you would say no to a bit of backstabbing by a black kid Billy.

      • 392
        President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

        And Billy is coming up the rear
        There is only a legnth in it
        Billy is pulling away from behind
        Nose to nose

        Its a photo finish to be posted online

  108. 374
    • 376
      Anon says:

      “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the European Parliament.”

      How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

    • 377
      Anon says:

      Fucking moderation! Right, let’s try again..

      “1 per cent want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the European Parliament.”

      How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

      • 384
        another anon says:

        Anon says:
        Your comment is awaiting moderation.

        December 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm

        “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the Europe-an Parliament.”

        How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

        Your comment might not appear anywhere on the site but via IE browser it is miraculously downloading on mine. Moderation is useless with the p-e-a word failings [now adjusted] .

      • 394
        another anon says:

        Anon says:
        Your comment is awaiting moderation.

        December 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm

        “1 per cent [of 1,566 polled] want to join the euro and hand tax and spending powers to the Europe-an Parliament.”

        How was Michael Heseltine able to vote 15.66 times?

        Your comment might not appe-ar anywhere on the site but via IE browser it is miraculously downloading on mine. Moderation is useless with the p-e-a word failings [now adjusted] .

        • 407
          Anon says:

          Oh, that’s cool! So if we all post as ‘Anon’, we’ll all see each others’ comments held pending moderation?

          Mind you, I can see a downside to my cunning plan.

          • a non says:

            Goes to show that if we were brave enough to choose a fixed nom de plume like BBITGUE, Schroeds’ Cat etc and suffer the continual abuse they are forced to accept we would have less trouble with the mod.
            One upside might be the ability to mention Gu-ido. Neo Gu-ido, B-illy, Pa-ul, Har-ry pe@, ri-ce et al without the hyphen. {even the word alc-o-hol in comments now banned!}

  109. 379
    YorkshireLad says:

    Keep up the good work, Edward, the longer you’re leader, the longer Labour will be in opposition.

  110. 380
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I saw a woman arguing with a foreign waiter at my local cafe.

    The waiter was saying, “We don’t serve black pudding here.”

    “I didn’t want to order any “, replied the woman “Just some tea and toast.”

    “Ms. Price”, sighed the waiter “Just take your son and fuck off.”

  111. 383
    George Orwell says:

    The clock has struck thirteen and no new threads? Heckuva pisser, musta been!

    • 398
      another anon says:

      Mentioned the same at 344 but suggested that it was Cameron’s thought of supporting a rise in alcohol prices that were keeping our hosts in bed.

  112. 385
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Bombardier, the train maker, wins a new contract to make railway stock, after losing out to Siemens over another contract, and having to make hundreds of redundancies.
    Oh what bullshit we are fed.
    Contracts take something like 2 years to cost and tender. Bombardier were going to restructure the Derby based company anyway. Bombardier used the loss to Siemens as an excuse to get rid of personnel.
    Now Bombardier can hire new staff on different terms and conditions, knowing all along that they would win another contract.
    Oh the smell!

    • 405
      Trad Tory says:

      At least Bombadier makes stuff that is useful and potentially exportable. Unlike the politicians, bankers and other financial service parasites, public service bureaucrats, etc etc who do no real work at all.

  113. 395
    The BBC are Cunts says:

    Perfect example of BBC impartiality, “( inaudible)…live in a World where people don’t normally vote Tory”.

  114. 396
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Good to see normal moniker thiefs about.

  115. 400
    Taxfodder says:

    Westminster GP states Parliamentarians drinks too much…

    Dr Wollaston is not the first person to have raised concerns over the amount of alcohol consumed in parliament.

    Commons doctor, Ira Madan raised concerns that the availability of alcohol was creating a culture of alcohol misuse.

    However, her recommendations made three years ago fell on deaf ears and the doors of the drinks cabinets at Westminster have remained irresistibly open.

    So in view of the great cheap booze tax grab no doubt the MP’s taxpayer funded cheap drinks bar at Parliament will hit the buffers…especially as we are now all in it together…

    • 428
      Winston Churchill says:

      The brandy snifter and I were on quite intimate terms. I still won the bloody war for you, didn’t I?

  116. 402
    Colonel Blimp says:

    More good news!

    Hope it hurts!

    • 408
      minor medic says:

      You have a strange perception of good news, Colonel.
      While supporting your probable thoughts regarding possible halting of Falkland Islands happenings I would not wish thyroid cancer on any poor soul.

      • 411
        Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

        It’s the fire-retarding chemicals used in fabrics, you see. If one spends enough time sniffing the furniture or the curtains, one is more than likely to catch cancer of the thyroid. Boring, but true.

    • 413
      President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

      58 my arse!

      probably worth a ride 30 years ago Id rather wake up to tutenkamen at least I could pawn the mask

      Reagan (pbuh) and Lady T were ready to nuke the fuckers
      Cant see rusty bullet hole doing the same

  117. 410
    Apathy Rising says:

    I quite enjoy sport but the Olympics don’t really have enough substance to capture the attention of a bored ant.

    Watching people running from A to B in a variety of different ways makes staring at a goldfish in a bowl seem exciting.

    • 414
      Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

      I hear what you say, sir, but I would suggest that watching Jessica Ennis contort her body beyond the limits of what is humanly possible is well worth the twelve billion pounds or so.

      • 419
        Seb Spo says:

        Are we going to have to go through the contrived ‘get the crowd involved handclapping’ bollocks when every Brit tries to jump into a sandpit or over a stick?

        That needs banned immediately. No more of that. Its silly.

        • 437
          Bendy Boris's Bosch says:

          If the olympic-sized twats want limp-wristed “come on Tim” hand claps I’ll bring plenty of vuvuzelas to compensate.

    • 424
      A Degenerate Punter says:

      Watching horses run from A to B in a variety of ways (“different” is a tautology) can be very exciting if one has wagered the odd bob on the outcome. Who’s making book on the Olympic Games?

  118. 420
    a non says:

    Neo Gui-do is almost functioning on 3 cylinders on twitter.
    Must we expect a new thread soon?

  119. 429
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ho Ho ho

    I see my moniker has been taken for a joyride.


  120. 435
    Labour Membership Audit says:

    Well, it’s true – 65’000 extra members a year, according to our postal applications! Well done comrades!

    64’951 of them seem to be called Mr Yusuf Islam Mohammed, all living at 64 Mosque Lane Bradford but I’m sure this is just a blip in the records.

  121. 436
    cynic2 says:

    Is it true that those Milliband photos were taken by a secret NoW Camera hidden in his loo?

  122. 439
    Billy Blowhard says:

    New post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post!, new post

    God, I think I’ve cum a little.

  123. 440
    Gordon Brown says:


  124. 444
    President of Belgium with beastly habits says:

    Pre booth Billy

  125. 446
    Apathy Rising says:

    David Cameron ‘plans to impose minimum price for alcohol’

    Presumably that’ll end cheap booze in the H o P (I think not).

    Dumb idea.

    • 447
      dave wisteria says:

      Who wants to drink cheap booze when you can drink fine claret which is here in abundance thanks to our eu membership card.

      We have so much to thank ted heath for I think we should give him a posthumous state funeral

  126. 452
    new labour=evil? era of evil 1997-2010 says:

    Labour have no intention of cleaning up their mess or chopping unions down to tree stumps size they want eg ed milliband leading when bulk of mess is cleaned up by conservatives they ll have another tony blair messiah shuffled in to repeat 1997-2010 all over again then force uk to take euro currency if they get into power you know they will do that 10 million immigrants in uk cos of new labour

  127. 454
    Xavier Onassis says:

    First thing Millibore did on becoming leader was to get a nose-job (on the NHS at our expense, naturally) to stop him looking so freaky.

    It obviously hasn’t worked!

    Still, here’s hoping the freak stays as head of Liebour until the next election, even a wimp like Cameron couldn’t fail to beat him.

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11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
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Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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