December 21st, 2011

Heather Mills Accuses Piers Morgan of Scapegoating

Heather Mills has released this statement on her website:

For the avoidance of doubt, I can categorically state that I have never ever played Piers Morgan a tape of any kind, never mind a voice message from my ex husband.

Piers Morgan is doing all he can to deter the Leveson enquiry from finishing their important job.

Morgan is using me as his scapegoat and I would be more than happy to answer any questions that the inquiry would like to put to me.

As stated in a press release by my ex-husband, he has never insinuated that I have leaked tapes of him to the media.

Oh dear Piers…


  1. 1
    Common Sense says:

    Piers heard their mother fucking tiers yo!


    • 11
      The Grauniad/BBC says:

      Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch. Murdoch! Murdoch – Murdoch. MURDOCH!!!! Murdochmurdochmurdochmurdochmurdoch…….murdochmurdochmurdoch. MurrrrrrDOCH!

      P.S. Murdoch!


      • 22
        I don't need no doctor says:

        Watson says – Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch, Murdoch…………..Murdoch.


        • 43
          Father Jack says:

          Septuagenarian hasbeen musician, one-legged hasbeen glamour model, insider-dealing spiv, and a pissed-up prissy paddy, with more mince than Dewhurst, pretending to pontificate on weighty matters.



          • Sir Aston Martin says:



          • Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Who to beleive – Piers or Heather


          • Lord Trombone says:

            David Farham, a former miner, had a letter published in his local newspaper, The Shields Gazette. He wrote: “I am proud to say I was on strike for 12 months in the 1984-5 strike, when Thatcher used the full might of [the] state to defeat us.
            “I would stand on a picket line now if it would prevent her having a state funeral. She had a near-pathological hatred of trade unions, and referred to us as the ‘enemy within’, but what did we do that was so treacherous?
            “We struck to prevent pit closures and protect jobs – with disastrous consequences. Look at the ghost towns of former pit villages which she left devastated.”



        • 44
          Tom Fatson says:

          Fingers in ears -LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.

          I can’t hear anything !


        • 47
          Lou Reed says:

          And the coloured girls sing “Doot da doot da doot da doodoodoot…”


      • 49
        BBC News says:

        We’re not biased you know!


      • 244
        Today Programme says:

        Its the bankers fault. Its got nothing to do with Labour or Gordon Brown or Ed Balls or Ed Miliband. Everyone hates the bankers because I say so. John Prescott is a genius. Everyone supports Occupy because I say so. Everyone is angry because I say so. Everyone is miserable because I say so. Its the bankers’ fault because I say so. Sometimes its David Cameron’s fault because I say so. Its never ever Labour’s fault. No-one is ever angry with cuddly loveable Labour. The Today programme only ever broadcasts the truth and what everyone (ie me and my editor) is thinking.


    • 14
      Bring Back Emily Nomates says:

      Bye, Bye Piers…


    • 165
      Ah! Monika says:

      That’s two of them that haven’t got a leg to stand on


    • 302
      Carlos says:

      A South African gold miner was badly injured in an accident underground.

      When his friends visited him after his leg amputation he was bemoaning the fact that he was unlikely to ever get another job. He said “Who’s going to be interested in a one-legged gold-digger?”.

      At that moment the phone rang. He picked it up and heard “Hello. It’s Paul McCartney here”.


  2. 2
    Billy should be killed for his own good says:

    Wonder what CNN are thinking?


  3. 3
    Campbell campaigning for Labourlist? well thats that site fucked. says:

    See above


  4. 4
    a non says:

    Revenge is a dish best served cold.


    • 106
      Anonymous says:

      Is that why the CPS are taking such a long time to prefer charges against H*hne?
      A temperature of -273C is as cold as you can get;is that what they are waiting for?
      Didn’t take long to charge T*rry.wonder what the difference is?


  5. 5
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    The fact that Mr Morgan apparently listened to a tape of a “heartbroken” Sir Paul McCartney and felt the need to sing ‘We Can Work It Out’ as he thought it so funny speaks volumes about the man.

    I would pay good money for Sir Paul to ring Piers this evening and sing ‘Help’.


    • 42
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      You must admit, things are getting better. Getting better all the time.


      • 45
        Piss Organ says:

        But nobody wants to know me,
        they can see that I’m just a fool

        And nobody seems to like me,
        they can tell what I want to do,
        and I never shows my feelings,

        But the fool on the hill,
        Sees the sun going down,
        And the eyes in my head,
        See the world spinning ’round.


        • 56
          Maxwell Edison says:

          Rose and Valerie/screaming from the gallery/say Piers must go free/the judge does not agree/and he tells them so, oh-oh-oh,

          But as these words are leaving his lips…


          • Bloke of A Certain Age says:

            Morgan was a hack
            Who thought he was a rock Star
            But we knew it couldnt last

            Morgan left GB
            To make it in the US
            Hoped that we’d forget his past

            Get back
            Get back
            Get back to where you once belonged

            Morgan wrote a book
            Secured a show on prime time
            Chat show host on CNN

            All the folk he’d pissed off
            Said he’s got it Comin
            For the things he knew back then

            Get back
            Get back
            Get back to where you once belonged

            Get back piers
            The inquiry is waiting for you


          • The Paragnostic says:

            I read the news today, oh boy
            About a lying twat who made crap shows
            And though his evidence was crap
            Well, I just had to laugh
            He faked a photograph.
            He lied his arse off to the court
            He tried to tell us that the truth had changed
            But Heather Mills popped his balloon
            Not dancing to his tune
            Nobody was sure if he was either fool or fraud…


          • songstress says:

            Macca, Heather and Piers..

            Ah! Look at all the lonely people….


          • A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

            The street of Shame there is a journo with a mobile phone
            Of every ‘sleb he’s had the pleasure to know
            And all the famous that come and go
            Featured in Hello

            On the corner is a Banker with a Ponzi Scheme
            A massive hole the size he hides behind his back
            And the banker plots with Freddie Mac
            It’s a risky game
            Very Strange

            Street of Shame
            With cops your ears, corrupted eyes
            There beneath the blue suburban skies
            A bung and meanwhile back…..


    • 51

      It will all end in Piers


  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Piers Morgan could yet go the way of Peter Hain…


  7. 9
    Peg leg says:

    Tricky thing to decide who of this pair is more devious, mendacious and trustworthy.


    • 24
      The Public says:

      Morgan was on oath, so presumably he wanted us to think he was telling the turth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.


      • 46
        Socialists = Sociopaths says:

        Er, Piers = Labour. Labour = Lies.

        Hypocrisy and Mendacity – it’s in Liebour’s D-N-A.


      • 128
        Tin hats on everyone says:

        Morgan was on US soil….

        Does the UK oath apply there?


        • 177
          Aydodge E. Scheisster, QC says:

          On the off-chance that your question is serious, and not a rhetorical one, or an attempt at ridiculing conspiracy theorists (which your moniker suggests), trust me, the oath is just as valid in the US as in the UK. There are Hague Conventions on the taking of evidence in a foreign country (named after the Dutch city, not William!) which make an oath taken in another land just as valid as in the home country. The US makes it even easier– you can just go to a Federal Court and get a subpoena for the witness’s app**rance without any Foreign Office-to-Foreign Office rigmarole, so long as you can show the existence of a genuine ongoing litigation (which Leveson’s sideshow would qualify as, being an ongoing “investigation” of sorts for which discovery can be had). Since you are in the jurisdiction of both the US and UK “courts,” you are bound to give truthful evidence no matter where the questioning is done.


      • 224
        Hi sailors! says:

        I think peg leg above meant untrustworthy, but, whatever…


    • 102
      Archer Karcher says:

      Best put them both in the ducking stool to be certain.


  8. 10
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    No wonder he preferred video linking rather than a personal appearance.


  9. 12
    Campbell campaigning for Labourlist? well thats that site fucked. says:

    And who done interview in the Mirror today?

    Peter Hain @PeterHain 6h

    · Open

    The real Ed: great @DailyMirror interview today reveals a leader voters will increasingly warm to
    Retweeted by Straight Bat


    • 37
      nellnewman says:

      Oh the orange one talking about millitwit in the mirror.

      Remind me again how many readers does the mirror have?


      • 81
        BillyBob... says:

        Hmmmmm… the orange one, he who was suspected by the met of a robbery many year ago??

        no change there then :)


      • 89
        Spanner in the works. says:

        The Daily Mirror sales for the year end to November were 1.103.405 copies a 6.1% decrease on the previous 12 months.
        The Sunday Mirror sold 1.760.141 copies an increase of 64.9% due to the demise of the News of the World, the increase only reflecting approx 25% uptake in last News of the World sales.
        The Guardian and Sunday Observer both lost just over 10% of sales, those being 226.473 and 266.744 respectively


      • 94
        Archer Karcher says:

        The Mirror has a lot of viewers, I am not sure how many of them can understand the words printed on it’s pages though.


    • 48
      Anon says:

      Most voters would only warm to Ed Milipede if he was doused in petrol and set on fire.


    • 64
      Ed Miliband says:


  10. 13
    Jay says:

    To be fair, what has been suggested all along was that it was Heather Mill’s PR agent that had leaked the tape to Morgan. The question is then whether the PR agent was authorised by Mills (directly or indirectly) to do so or not.

    I still think Morgan’s “I didn’t know anything about phone hacking” line is untrue but the Heather Mills story might not be the one where he will be caught out.


    • 25
      Carefully chosen words says:

      Exactly, in this statement she only denies playing the tape personally and further only denies her ex husband ever insinuated that she leaked tapes to the press. This is neither an admission nor a denial that she did . More forensic questioning required.


    • 27
      WORLD AT WAR ! says:

      LADIES & GENTLEMEN, may i return your attention to the Kamikaze
      Euro ?,a little light relief maybe, but the soon to be defunct Dollar
      should be derided & torn apart the British way (was going to say English)
      by a little irony & well irony.


    • 32
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Morgan obviously thinks/thought that he had enough dirt to keep Mills silent. Mills now has the position where if Morgan attempts to dissuade her from testifying, she can scream Blackmail to the heavens and Morgan is really toast. If Morgan releases the dirt, he’s guilty of particularly noxious petty revenge and once more he’s toast. Ain’t Hubris wonderful?


    • 125
      I Squiggle says:

      Nail on the head. Like the P Moron yesterday, by trying to be “economical with the truth” they both incriminate themselves.

      This whole exercise is laughable – limp questioning from the enquiry, blatant evasion from “witnesses” (a collection of has-beens, weirdos and the incongruous).

      Who is paying for this?


  11. 16
    Drum says:

    Who to believe, Piers or Heather? Umm err pass.


  12. 17
    Philip McArthur says:

    a) Peirs Morgan does not work for Murdoc.
    b) He is Left wing.
    Consequently he will get away with it.
    The Leveson Enquiry is purely set up to get Murdoc ,
    and via Coulson do damage to David Cameron.


  13. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Trouble is that it doesn’t really matter if he’s lying – because there isn’t anything that can be done about it, unless the police have evidence against him and therefore arrest him. Let’s live in hope….


  14. 19
    All the fun of a lynching without the mess says:

    This is all very fun, but when are we going to have the cross-hairs?


  15. 26
    nellnewman says:


    For once in my life I think I quite like Heather!


  16. 55

    Hacking isn’t very hard. We know that. Dial 1111 and listen away.

    But how did the hacks get the mobile phone numbers in the first place?
    Someone at the networks must have been selling.


  17. 61


    ECB has bailed out all of Europe’s banks. Thanks Europe! It was looking like an austerity Christmas for the bankers. But now they can all get pissed as farts knowing the bonus money is in the vault.

    Coming up next on BBC 2 .. QE. The guessing game where money is printed not just because it might be right, but because it might be interesting or amusing to see what happens.

    Hosted by Mervin King
    Guests: Bob Diamond, Vince Cable, Stephen Hester and Jo Brand.


  18. 62
    Engineer says:

    Journalist, “Mr. Watson, can we have your take on the possibility of phone hacking at the Mirror during Mr. Morgan’s editorial tenure, especially in light of Ms. Mills’ statement?”

    Tom Watson, “Mumble, mumble mumble. Mumble…..MURDOCH!”


    • 71

      Ask Chris Bryant, he has an opinion on everything.
      Actually not so much an opinion as an innuendo.

      “Ohhhhh! Wellll… I tell you dear, what I just between friends..James Murdoch only listened to Heather Mills and Paul McCartney doing the sweaty dead..That old slapper recorded it on her iphone!! Hmmmmm..well…I heard they were banging like filthy hot monkeys to Paul’s “why don’t we do it in the road.”

      ohhh..its disgusting ..listening in like that. he should be ashamed, eh?
      And he even went round their house to try and get video! yes! I know! Slumming perv or what, eh?

      Anyway..I’ve told the BBC and they’re running with it. I did say my anonymous source at the Guardian gave me that story though. Just in case it isn’t true, which it isn’t.

      Bye luvs..bye..


    • 72

      Is it just me or has Mrs Mills lost a lot of weight?

      Haven’t heard her on the piano for years.


  19. 69
    Hell is other people. says:

    Paul has been silent in all of this?
    One thing I can truthfully say about Morgan, is he has tendency to pick on women. The more vulnerable the better. The pathetic excuse for a man is nothing more than lying coward!


  20. 74
    William Pitt says:

    Perhaps people could leave helpful comments here for the CNN producers and execs to read in case they are testing the public mood.


  21. 79

    Lefties rushing to the defence of Piers.
    I’d have thought they hated him.

    After all, he did make Gordon cry.


  22. 88
    Dog Breath says:

    The problem with the euro is that Europe is still using ye olde G Brown recipe for pigs anus and hog bollocks debt pies.


  23. 91
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Comment removed


  24. 92
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    What a dilemma. Is Piers lying. Or Heather? Piers? Heather?


  25. 93
    Gordon Brown says:



  26. 98
    Criminal Protection Service says:

    We are pleased to announce that we are hitting our targets for alleged offence to prosecution decision timescales.

    John Terry : 2 months.

    Chris Huhne : Mr Starmer, Mr Starmer, hellllllllllllllllllllllllllp.


  27. 103
    Apathy Rising says:

    Dare I say that the Leveson Inquiry is the spittoon into which anyone may spit.


    • 113
      nellnewman says:

      I think the problem is that everyone is doing just that.

      Not the most credible or impressive of inquiries is it?


      • 218
        Ironside says:

        Quite right.
        And not helped by the lacklustre performance of the lawyers.
        Hopeless lot, second raters.


      • 305
        chippy chancer sniffing revenge says:

        Precisely. Remarkable that Leveson can’t see how letting a mancunian drug hoover and a whore-mongering acting talent vacuum declaim how very offended they are, abases the whole proceedings.


  28. 105
    nellnewman says:

    With piers morgan’s tv ratings at CNN plummeting where on earth can he go next to earn a living?

    He’s becoming a pariah like his pal gordon and like gordon he’ll eventually be where nobody wants him.

    sad. not!


    • 121
      Anon says:

      One of my local pizza shops is advertising for delivery drivers.

      Not sure they’d trust Piers with the cash, though. And obviously he’d need to be personable, numerate, capable of reading a map, show.. bollocks, no – he’s not up to it.

      I’ll keep a look out for anything suitable.


    • 150
      NOT "Pennywise" says:

      He might want to try his luck at this:


    • 233
      Ironside says:

      He could try being a journalist


  29. 108
    Thomas Sharp says:

    Dear Aunty Guido
    That judge at the hacking inquiry seems to be modelled on Lord Leakham. Should I sue ?


  30. 114
    WVM says:

    Just seen Labours Rachel Reeves dodging bullets on Sky News’ Jeff Randall Live, hope someone You Tubes that.


    • 131
      Really? says:

      I was too distracted by her peculiar, droning voice to pay any attention to what she was saying. If that is the best that Labour can do, then either they (since unelectable) are stuffed or we (if they regain control of government) are.


  31. 115
    anon. says:


    • 146
      JH says:

      Sometimes The Mash is a pale imitation of The Onion, just trying too hard.

      Other times – particularly when it is skewering lefty sacred cows – it is superb.

      That article is in the latter category.


  32. 116
    ++ BREAKING WIND++ says:



    • 119
      Anon says:

      All that EU funding over the last 10 years didn’t do them much good then.

      What is quite interesting: The Economist reckoned that (independent of England and Wales), Scotland’s economy is the same size as Hungary’s.


  33. 120
  34. 130
    Gordon Brown's best speech ever! says:


  35. 132
    nellnewman says:

    Of course piers is only the last in a long line of leftwingers to bite the dust in the last few years. alycampbell, bliar, brown, bullyballs, kinnochio, tombaldwin, militwit.

    They’ve all been discredited.

    The big question now is who’s going to be next?


    • 136
      Tachybaptus says:

      Discredit is nothing to the discreditable. The important thing is that they end up very rich. Even Mili will probably manage that.


      • 138
        RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

        Yeth ! Yeth ! My ambition is to be a champagne socialist just like all my Liebour party associates.


      • 159
        nellnewman says:

        militwit is already very rich as is his brother militwit senior. The sons of ralph who came here a penniless marxist to flee WW2.

        So where did the money come from?!


        • 166
          Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

          Gordon’s money trees ?


        • 175
          Said Gadaffi says:

          I am sure that it had nothing to do with the money that I gave to the LSE


        • 206
          The Paragnostic says:



        • 219
          Some Geezer wot thinks the froggies might be right about some things says:

          The French, that much-beloved race of this blog, nonetheless have some redeeming qualities, and one of them may be their ability to come up with neatly cynical aphorisms; the one I have in mind for the question of the “good fortune” of the Brothers M goes as follows:

          “Never ask the family how the first million was made.”

          My favourite, however, goes something (“but ONLY something,” as Benny Hill once said) like this:

          “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. No knowledge at all can be pretty dangerous too.”

          Make of that last one what you will.


    • 236
      Ironside says:

      Chris Huhne


  36. 140
    Freebie Jones says:

    I see some out of touch judge has ruled that it is OK to rob the public purse.

    Can anyone tell me what I can expect to make if I put some pv panels on my roof from the feed tariff?


  37. 141
    Louise Mensch. says:

    Oh dear on the face of it this looks good as Piers is in the shit, but it does mean he could be back in the UK soon and who wants that? Do I look pretty? Please buy my new book xx


    • 145
      Outside Westminster says:

      Yes, you do look pretty. For a politician, which is not saying much.

      No, I won’t buy your book. You have no achievements worth reading about. Come back in 20 years time.


    • 147
      Cellmate Love says:

      I’m certainly looking forward to his stretch inside.


    • 169
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      Well, she seems perfectly happy with the Catholic church’s views on contraception, and her husband doesn’t seem to be particularly weighed down by the weight of his own ball-sack…

      …I’m just sayin’.


  38. 143

    So they have discovered planets in the “Goldilocks zone”. Telegraph.

    Life could have existed on them for millions of years.

    It is my theory that we are descended from such life. Our predecessors abandoned the old planet and came here. Then they became indolent, did not see the point in learning history. Discovered they could print money by pressing buttons. Forgot that the world was an oblate spheroid. Died out and had to evolve from apes all over again. Developed anew, worshipped funny gods. Had an age of enlightenment and an Industrial Revolution. A few wars happened along the way including a Cold one that was won.

    People were writing about the End of History. Then when everything was beginning to look too good to be true, along came a new messiah with an ugly wife and an unhinged chancellor…


  39. 156
    In Memoriam says:

    Farewell then
    Piers Morgan’s career.

    Jeremy Clarkson once twatted you
    Right in the face
    Which you didn’t like.

    And “Private Eye” used to call you
    “Piers Moron”
    Which you also didn’t like.

    But it was not a missing letter
    But a missing leg
    Which was to prove your downfall

    And now,
    Now it is you
    Whom CNN don’t like.

    E.J. Thribb, 17 1/2


  40. 167
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:



  41. 172
    Anonymous says:

    It’s actually quite a limited denial. It only denies that SHE played a tape to Morgan. It doesn’t deny that she authorised someone to leak a tape to the Mirror or to Morgan.


    • 176
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      To be fair, the statement also said that she was happy to answer any question the Inquiry put to her.

      Even a complete air-head would see that the first question would be, “did you authorise anyone else to play your voicemail message to Piers Morgan?”


  42. 178
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m having three moob implants, so I look better than that Sarah woman.


  43. 181
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Mewwy Chwithmath Winter Fethtival ! To all my admiwerth !


    • 187
      nellnewman says:

      We don’t do winter festivals around here. We celebrate Christmas.

      And I hope the Archbish was listening to cameron’s message the other day about getting on and doing his real job of supporting Christianity because it’s long overdue!!


  44. 182
    Apathy Rising says:

    According to Wikipedia Mr Morgan utilised his pseudonym at the Inquiry without clarifying his identity.

    Perhaps it was someone else they interviewed.


  45. 185
    JH says:

    I am fed up with you people on here saying the BBC is not impartial.

    Here for instance is a superbly nuanced, balanced article by Nick Robinson on how utterly brilliant Ed Miliband’s new Chief of Staff is, which is completely impartial.

    In fact Tim Livesey is utterly brilliant – ergo the article is impartial. It does not read like a LabourList puff piece at all. Reassuring in a piece by the BBC’s Political Editor. Who is impartial. Yes.

    Nick’s impartial article shows you all up as vermin. Particularly compared to Tim Livesey. Who is brilliant. Along with the man with the brilliance to appoint him. Ed Miliband.

    Shame on you all.


    • 188
      nellnewman says:

      Another once great institution ruined by labour – the beeb. Sad!


      • 198
        JH says:

        You imbecile! Nick describes the brilliant Tim Livesey – who will probably see Ed win a snap election by Christmas, if there is one, which there should be – as ‘a surprising and impressive choice’.

        Who are you to question Nick Robinson! Who! Who!

        We are talking about a brilliantly impartial, non-tribal commentator who did not exhibit barely-suppressed glee during the election coverage at the moment it became clear the evil Tories did not have an overall majority.

        How. Dare. You.


    • 191
      The One The Only TaT, Gambling Demon Extraordinaire says:

      yes we’re all vermin who extort 145 quid from you per annum on threat of imprisonment for reading our views on the world……………


  46. 189
    nellnewman says:

    OK Folks. Night God Bless, Loads of cooking to do tomorrow.


  47. 190
    This is OUR country, muzees. Go fuck yourselves in Kraplakistan says:

    I was at Sainsbury’s and noticed they’re selling alcohol free christmas pudding alongside the regular one. Is this yet another concession to the muzbots? We can’t have traditional christmas pudding, we need an alcohol free one too? What’s next, pork free bacon? Alcohol free brandy sauce? Fuck the muzbots.


    • 211
      FFS get a grip says:

      You really need to sort yourself out, lots of people are teetotal, some people have or are alcoholics and need to stay away from booze, some people don’t like booze, the supermarkets are offering a freedom of choice, booze free puddings or non booze free puddings, they are happy to take your money for both products.


      • 230
        HM Treasury info services says:

        Furthermore it has long been possible to purchase alcohol free beer. – which is in effect just coloured water, but we still get to collect the VAT.


  48. 192
    BBC News says:

    In today’s news, Murdoch and Ashcroft and Ashcroft and Murdoch. Also Murdoch and Ashcroft and Ashcroft and Murdoch. And that’s today’s news.


  49. 194
    This is OUR country, muzees. Go fuck yourselves in Kraplakistan says:

    Fuck the muslims. Funny how they like to slam this great country but won’t step foot in any jizzlamic republic. Maybe it’s because they get to live off the state and have access to prostitutes and alcohol which they can’t get in kraplakistan and the other third world shitholes. If only we had a prime minister with the balls to ban the burka, ban the sale of halal meat in our supermarkets (they can sell it in their foul smelling butchers) and stop immigration from muzee countries.


  50. 195
    This is OUR country, muzees. Go fuck yourselves in Kraplakistan says:

    And why are muzee men strangers to deodorant? They all fucking reek of body odour, not to mention halitosis. And muzee women are all grossly obese. Even the fucking traitorous british converts fatten themselves up. Did their kiddy fiddling nonce rapist prophet say muzee women should all be morbidly obese? Fucking disgusting terrorist religion. Or, as an outreach diversity coordinator would say, a fine and peaceful religion with violent, misogynistic and anti s e mit ic rules which we should respect in the spirit of diversity and the richness it brings.


  51. 196
    This is OUR country, muzees. Go fuck yourselves in Kraplakistan says:

    And why are muzee men strangers to deodorant? They all fucking reek of body odour, not to mention halitosis. And muzee women are all grossly obese. Even the fucking traitorous british converts fatten themselves up. Did their kiddy fiddling nonce rapist prophet say muzee women should all be morbidly obese? Fucking disgusting terrorist religion. Or, as an outreach diversity coordinator would say, a fine and pe aceful religion with violent, misogynistic and anti s e mit ic rules which we should respect in the spirit of diversity and the richness it brings.


  52. 201
    anyachaika says:

    I would be grateful if somebody could comment on the story at – The police have started a criminal investigation and the whole story is on the blog – the pieces of the jigsaw just need putting together


  53. 209
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Oh what a tangled web we weave…


  54. 210
    Piss Organ says:

    Can I still be a judge on the next series of America’s Got Talent?


    • 220
      The Paragnostic says:

      No, but there’s a job producing the annual Wormwood Scrubs Glee show going. Bring your own gimp.


    • 246
      Jeff Foxworthy, Host of the US Version says:

      No. You can, however, be a contestant on “Are You Smarter Than a 10-Year-Old?” I seriously doubt if you’ll win anything, though.


  55. 213
    BBC News says:

    We’re not biased you know !


  56. 231
    Apathy Rising says:

    Being the world’s largest and most influential blog, perhaps the Levesen Inquiry will call Mr Wikipedia to give evidences as to how it functions and how it could be regulated, bearing in mind that there have been reports of it being used by lobbying companies to promote their own particular views.

    Maybe the only permitted views are those that have been paid for, or perhaps corporate views are seen as being preferable to those of the individual.


  57. 234

    Oh hell. UK is in the shit. Huge fire on industrial estate in Leyland where all the bogrolls are stored.


  58. 239
    Ah! Monika says:

    Ah! Monika says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    December 22, 2011 at 8:31 am
    Digging for pe at?


  59. 240
    media watch says:

    Bit quiet from Morgan since the Mills statement . Why is it that these people think their words are taken at face value by anyone? All educated readers now question every nuance and word selection from the Morgans and Mills types, and wonder as much about what is not said…


  60. 241
    Del Boy talks sense, warns of a Fourth Reich says:

    David Jason says Germany wants to run Europe.


    • 247
      Spartacus says:

      i understand and agree his point.
      but what is your point?


    • 248
      nellnewman says:

      Our politicians talk twaddle and spe@k only for themselves whilst David Jason talks sense and reflects the views of the majority. Says a lot about how UK politics has become so detached from the electorate.


      • 263
        lol says:

        He doesn’t talk for me nell. I may agree with him on this but that’s about it. I bet you’re the sort of person who uses phrases like “rally around”, “hearts and minds” and the like.


        • 273
          nellnewman says:

          Actually lol you underline my point as you say that he does spe@k for you on this. You and I may disagree on many things but on this we agree as does davidjason.

          It suggests the anti eu/euro feelings in the uk are widespread and yet the politicians do not share our view hence they are out of touch with the majority of the electorate..


  61. 242
    Desperate Dan says:

    I prefer Piers Morgan to Heather Mills.


  62. 243
    No-one here but us chickens says:

    Talking turkey.
    Soon, the inevitable question for all UK traditionalists to choose between a leg or a breast at Christmas [assuming only ex pats and youthful Ryan Giggs types prefer the wings]. I must admit to being a leg man.
    Watching film of the drunken lady dismounting the train, I am forced to conclude that silicon has now become an essential addition, for all health and safety conscious female revellers. Take away the 48FF implants to cushion the fall, and subcutaneous botox to protect the face, she might have suffered long term repercussions.
    And experts assure me that a woman’s most erogenous zone is still the brain? Is this yet another failing that should be placed at Labour’s door


  63. 245
    Spartacus says:

    bout time there was another subject. frinstance

    – mps on suicide watch
    – hune banged up real soon now
    – irish times, elvis still dead

    even a caption competition would be better than the gold digger and mister smarmy bastard ramblings.


  64. 253
    Naughtius Maximus says:

    Only Piers could make people side with hop-a-long Heather.


  65. 254
    You couldn't make this up! says:

    Guido comes out for Heather! FFS!

    You’re both welcome to each other.


  66. 256
    ffs! says:

    Typical of the host to support a gold digger.


  67. 258
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Piers Morgan Memory Man.


  68. 260
    James Hadley Chase says:

    Paul was stunned.
    “You’ve got me on tape, then?”
    “Better than that, you old fart– digital recording. I should have thought you’d know something about that.”
    “What do you plan to do?”
    “Y’know, I haven’t really decided– I COULD go public and make you look like a pathetic little nelly boy. I could do that…”
    “I been around the block a time or ten– you’re leading up to something…”
    “Or you could make it worth my while for these recordings to simply vanish…Ball’s on your side of the net, amigo.”
    Paul thought, I DO know some people “who know some people”…wonder how much it would cost to make this piece of human detritus “simply vanish.” Naw, pull yourself together, old man, you’ve been through worse…though I’d like to wipe off that smirk once and for all…


  69. 262
    a spade is a spade says:

    How many more people are the PC brigade going to lock up for saying things they disagree with?

    Fight fire with fire!


    • 265
      jgm2 says:

      Seems Piers lead the way on that front. By not remembering anything and expressing no opinions the wicked and malicious fuckers can’t jail you for thought-crime.

      I’ve a sneaking feeling that the more folk are forced to bottle up their rage for fear of being prosecuted for thought-crime then the more explosive will be result when folk simply cannot take the bull-shit any longer. Free speech is a safety valve.


    • 280
      Hardware storekeeper in Brixton says:

      I got lotsa spades in this morning. Must be shopping for the holidays.


  70. 266
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year.


  71. 267
    Somalia won't cost Dave his Premiership but the Falklands certainly will says:

    Whilst The Independent claims that Cameron is intending to intervene militarily in Somalia in 2012 if true which I seriously doubt can I perhaps give a piece of advice to Cameron,Hague,Hammond and the FCO…forget about Somalia you’d better be sure the Falklands is protected adequately….the bottom line is that nobody gives a fuck about Somalia but if you lose the Falklands your government is British PM could survive losing those Islands let alone a Tory PM…it almost cost Thatcher her Premiership and it was only by luck that we recovered them.It wouldn’t be so easy to-day if we lost them…there needs to be adequate air and naval re-inforcement.It’s all very well saying that we can re-inforce by air bridge in 24 hours via the Ascension Islands but not if the Argies have Port Stanley Air Base we can’t or if the weather closes in…


    • 299
      Armchair Admiral says:

      Given the choice, bombing Somalia is probably more fun. Still, I don’t suppose it would be very good to let the Argies have the Falklands.

      Presumably they are now aware of the likelihood there are submarines lurking off their coast and reckon that on their own they pose no threat to their airforce unless it were decided to wipe out their planes on the ground. Which is probably going a tad too far at this point.


  72. 269

    How would you like your pier destroyed?

    By arson, storm lashing or explosion?


  73. 275
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hang the bastard

    French police launch criminal investigation into Tory MP and friends who wore Nazi dress to stag night – Guido Fawkes


    • 276
      jgm2 says:

      I was wondering when that angle would be explored. The French (and Germans) are very touchy about folk wearing Nazi regalia. I’m surprised the chaps at the stag-do weren’t aware.


      • 285
        Curious says:

        Why does no-one ever dresses up like a French soldier from the Maginot line on stag dos?


        • 290
          BillyBob... says:

          WTF and be carrying a white flag ?


        • 293
          jgm2 says:

          Dunno. But on a geology field trip at university (to a wide open field) we were told we had to wear hard hats. Like proper geologists. I went down to the army surplus store and bought a surplus WWI French army helmet and spent the entire week wearing that around Galway. To protect me from the Geology from space.


    • 283

      Freedom is a strange thing.

      I have a very large library of books, mostly non-fiction, which I took with me. Amongst some 8,000 or more publications was a copy of Mein Kampf by Adolph Hitler. It had come into my collection with a number of others that were bequeathed to me. Had I not acquired it that way, I would probably have bought a copy to familiarise myself with the thoughts of a madman who had such an effect upon our history.

      For I while, I had these warehoused in Austria. It is illegal there to possess a copy of Mein Kampf, even nowadays.

      Ironically, the warehouse just happened to be in Braunau-am-Inn, birthplace of the megalomaniac.


    • 303
      Koh Samui says:

      You may like to consider the questions thrown up when an entire school decided to dress up as Nazis in Thailand


  74. 279
    Breaking News says:


  75. 287
    Ed Testicles says:

    I dressed as a Nazi and got away with it. Aidan should’ve joined Labour.


  76. 291
    Gordon Brown says:

    This christmas day I’ll be having a prudent slice of toast.


  77. 292
    BillyBob... says:

    Must be a quiet news day or is everyone out on the p*sh ? Perhaps Leveson is working his magic on the cynics?


  78. 295
    John Terry says:

    Dear Troops,

    when you have finished “fighting for freedom” in various moslem shit-holes around the planet, could you come home and fight for mine?



  79. 296
    execute them all says:

    Most people would baulk at the idea of wearing the shirt of a football team they dont support….yet these fuckwitted ballbags are ok wearing Nazi uniforms.
    What planet are they on?


  80. 308
    Timmytour says:

    So….Piers didn’t know 95% of what his reporters were upto???

    However he knew the source for the McCartney tape but didn’t want to reveal it.

    Knowing his reporter’s sources indicates he knew a little bit more than 5% of what they were upto and more than indicates that he was fully aware of how they came across their information


  81. 309
    Anonymous says:

    Ha ha ha – good old Heather. I remember when she had her ‘tv breakdown’ a few years back she was trying to play ‘secret recordings’ for her hubby to anyone who would listen.


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