Catastrophe : xmas tree knocked over while I was out, and everyone tried to pretend it didn't happen *totally rumbled the cover up*—
Sarah Brown (@SarahBrownUK) December 19, 2011
Brownite destruction? Cover up? Surely not…
Transcript of Terrorist’s Speech | Times
Dave Should Promote Sarah Wollaston to Inner Circle | Staggers
MPs Hate Chuka | Total Politics
This Was Out of Al-Qaeda’s Terror Manual | Con Coughlin
Mum Talked Down Woolwich Terrorists | Telegraph
How the Tories Can Win in 2015 | Harry Phibbs
View From Lord Bell’s Summer Party | Speccie
What Dave, Ed and Nick Want You to Hear | James Kirkup
In Praise of Apple’s Tax Plan | Daniel Mitchell
Christine Blower Can’t Do Maths | Toby Young
Cameron is Having a Shocker | Iain Martin
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Ai Weiwei in China fighting the taxman…
“Under totalitarian rule, no one is protected by law. We will all be the same helpless victims. When a country insists on its lies, it’s time for an artist to bring forth change.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
The curse of Jonah is alive and well.
Fapping behind the tree again.
Does the Broon Bear shit in the forest?
Wiping bogies on the fairy?
…and has he sold our frankincense and myrrh reserves at market bottom yet?
For all of the Political Elite, Have a good Christmas, but make it your last. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It had to happen really as you bumble through smashing the economy to pieces. I Predict the end of March for the full destruction of the economy to become clear.
The same thing happened with the UK economy; Brown and his party will still not accept responsibility. Grubby little turd isn’t he Sarah!
Oh great. We have to put up with your incoherent conspiracy theory ravings for another three months.
So you agree too the 3 month then? Oh how I love it blogging on a conspiracy theorists Blog, Do you know why this blog is here? Or are you that fu-king thick you have difficulty reading. Is that why you read the SUN, Ha Ha.
When you try to evaluate any prediction made by this paranoid conspiracy theorist bear in mind that he believes that the IRA are part of Military Intelligence.
Duck the herald angels sing,
Nokias he likes to fling!
No new rocking-horse? He riled,
Then McRuin-er went wild.
Smash the tree and gibbers freely
Like he’s talking in Swahili.
etc…
Duck?
Since Sarah and Gordon never come within 300 miles of each other, I doubt it was him.
Its probably code to the beard
Gordon and Sarah who?
Never heard of them.
Are they on Big Brother or X Factor, cos I never watch that trash
Just as well or she might ‘walk into a door’ or 2
this woman is fucking mental
Mister Brrrrrrroooon as fairy on the tree top, got hurt in the drop!
Not all that bad as an image as its normal to stick the tree up the ornament’s backside and this time the whole tree could be used
Now I’ve got my Nokias in a twist. I blame my Blackberry.
Ed told me I shall go to the Balls if I sell the Bercow for a handful of magic beans. Is this a good deal?
Still as furtive as ever. He can’t even admit to domestic clumsiness.
It started in America
Blame it on the boogie
It was the right thing to do.
Why is anyone interested in what Mrs Brown does, I cannot see it, is this a generational thing not to be remotely interested in the day to day activities of such boring, pillocky and dreary people, such as SB, Stephen Fry, eh, and the others. If you lot are intersted I am going to buy some bird seed later, and pick up a repaired gun so that I can kill pheasants, then take the dog for a walk, then have a cup of tea. Is any of this interesting. Sarah Brown probably doesn’t even write this stuff, get a life dear and fade away please.
Thank you
Come back and tell us if you bagged one. Careful the breech doesn’t blow up in your face.
Are you going to feed them before you blow them
to bits or is the seed for your budgie ?
Twat watch tag?
Disappointed Gui-do has not got a Grotty watch. [Grotto watch obviously for the festive season]
What the hell does he know about business?
Next to nothing.
But how many MPs of any party know very much about modern business? They know a lot about squeezing big business monopolists for a cut and about filling in forms to get their expenses and for those of their staff, but that it not the same thing.
Sammy Wilson, DUP MP and Northern Ireland Executive Finance Minister thinks it a great idea to impose extra tax on big retailers to help out the smaller ones. Thats going to work a treat.
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/finance/2011/1220/1224309292670.html
What an utter cock. This chap has never had a job or got anywhere near one by the sound of the crap he spouts. If this is Millbeans Team A he really needs to be making sure that EU sinecure that Wind Bag Kinnock has promised is there for him.
Absolutely nothing about business, but he’s quite an expert on tax avoidance.
Or anything?
Does anyone on the fucking planet think that was worthwhile? Dumb vacuous twat.
Umunna is absolute proof that Ed Milibands team has no substance or credibility to UK business.
As for keeping Ed Balls as Shadow Chancellor – who in their right minds is going to vote for that fiscal lunatic?
Certainly not British SME’s – you know, the companies that employ 70% of all UK workers – yet Banks & Big Business get all the access to Government & to New Labxour.
It is plain that none of the big three can be trusted with the productive side of the economy.
Sophie, will you marry me?
Dear Sophie,
If you reject Sir Aston’s generous proposal and of course if
you’re not a hideous hag perhaps you would do me. (the honour)
ERR…. Sophie, SME’s are not enfranchised. and big companies work outside the democratic ethos. And there are some small businessmen who are forever Labour.
As if you give a toss, Tosser!!!
Do us all a favour and shut the Fc*k for a few days will ya?
Well why don’t you get all the wankers in your party that are still Shadow Ministers and shagged this country to death to spend all their short money on the Hight Street. You are an obnoxious twat Chucky Egg!!
Hoon-ga Hoon-ga Hoon-ga Chuka…
So consumption is good, savings, bad and investment to improve products, and processes is something for others to do.
Chuck it Chucka.
Chucka – What a fucking prick you are
Chucka – what a bloody stupid name for a cocky uppity little self opinionated twat.
Cupid stunt!
Using pine needles as clinqer removal.
Brown knocked over the economy and the British people *totally rumbled Labour’s cover-up*
At least if all he is doing now is knocking over Christmas trees, the damage is more limited.
The Christmas tree of the British economy will take longer to resurrect
Why would someone want to follow anyone on Twitter? Isn’t this phenomena evidence of how shallow and ephemeral public discourse has become. Who cares about Brown’s Christmas tree and why would the Browns think it worthwhile reporting that tbe tree was pushed over by family member unknown?!
The PR manual saus that any publicity is good publicity, these two do test that to the limit.
Did you have a good night out Wills?
Yeah, was good thanks
Think Billy went to a cage fight.
Too many twats make a tweet.
Even Guido Fawkes himself has a Titter account, have I spelt that wrongly?
Quite correct. Add in Faeces Book while you’re at it.
As I intend to start the Christmas merriment (not Xmas btw) soon,
I’ll have my rant now.
I want fewer so-called reality shows on the telly, one will be too many.
No more schleb chefs and definitely no more “commentators” with funny voices – Robert Pest-on you know who I mean.
This list is not exhausted, but it’s time for a snifter.
The sun’s over the yard arm
Should it be “Oh no. Titter you not Mrs!”
I’m with you on that – why on earth doesn’t that silly woman shut up? Does she have no idea how she is mocked and what a fool she makes of herself?
Obviously not.
Mind you, she’s Jane Austen compared with Sally Bercow.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a simpleton in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Need some extra money this month? Do what I did and go to Quikquid.co.uk I asked for a loan of £700 billion at an APR of just 9627%
Should’ve gone to Wonga. They will help fund your re-election with free tube travel for Londoners at New Year
If the staff are not on strike of course…
Owned by a Tory supporter both of them! I am suprised at you Gordy fancy going to the Tories for a loan!
I did not save the world, country, sorry tree!
Why would anybody be arsed to write something as inconsequential as that and – more important – why would anyone he arsed to read it?
They think that everyone should have a Titter account, I’ve got one but virtually nothing on it, boring! I have other things to do
It was Macavity the Cat wot done it, not me.
must have been one hell of a sized football to knock a Christmas tree down.
…or a very small tree.
Or they probably tried climbing the tree to see if there was something for them on the tree
Perhaps the tree itself was unstable in an ironic mimicary of its purchaser
My depth perception has cured boom & bust.
Sarah Brown, I declare you the dullest woman in the world.
Now i walked into a door and have black eye and split lip
It started in America
what world does she live in?
I blame America.
Isd anyone going to out traitors Clegg, Huhne & Cable for putting that idiot Rudd up to the “busines” letter regarding the EU?
All the usual suspects, all dead wrong again.
Do they really expect us to believe that the EU wants a trade war with the UK?
I bet BMW, VW, Audi, Siemens & a araft of other EU businesses would not like restricted access to the UK – the worlds 6th largest economy.
These fanatical, extremist Europhiles dig themselves into a deeper hole every time they try to scare the people.
I am glad they are ramping up the rhetoric – shows they are scared & that there is momentum towards the door for the UK.
And the Germans – do they realise how distasteful it is for the British to be told:
“If you do not comply with a German dominated EU there will be war”?
I blame Billy Bowden.
Quite right too, it is the right thing to do
Yes, harsh but entirely fair.
He claims he acted immediately to stabilise the tree but news will emerge that he raided his children’s piggybanks to buy a rip-off tree stand and he’ll try to blame foreigners for the whole incident.
Sounds like his PMQ performance. he would say that the tree was being raised, when it was actually falling.
The stand was supplied by an off-shore organisation and you will find that they offered very favourable leaseback terms, though obviously, the exact terms are a matter of commercial confidantiality.
No doubt he’ll claim he led the international effort to upright the tree. Because he knocked it over in the first place.
Well it appears that some of the instigators of the big callapse seem to have operated for London, you know the country where there was little control and regulation, and what there was, was not used, they told Gordon that they did not want any regulation and control and Gordy nodded his head vigorously.
Ooooh must not upset the City boys, curse and swear ok on this blog, but do not upset the city boys
It was delivered by some drunk men – the problem started in A Merry Car
The stupid fucker sold all the gold baubles at a car boot sale
That was a disaster. Well I just … should never have put me in with that tree. Whose idea was that?
It was Sue I think. It was just ridiculous.
Oh everything, it was just a sort of bigoted tree. It said it used be Labour. I mean it’s just ridiculous.
The tree was ready to weather the storm, our regulations on tree stands were respected around the world. In fact it never fell over. There was a moment when it was angled in a horizontal position and many needles were lost. But this was the fault of the Tory cuts.
I reject the claim that the tree fell over because of too much investment in decorations. It fell because of a global conditions and the collapse of the anchors.
The decorations were insufficiently diverse. Not enough of the lights, tinsel and baubles were black or brown. See you in court.
I actually told him how to raise the tree, but ended up causing a total collapse in the Xmas tree market, which will take 40 years to recover from.
The Prime Minister takes full responsibility for this regrettable incident. That’s why he’s banned his children from opening their presents.
Should never have covered the tree in gold tinsel. The bloke was like a moth to the flame.
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK.
Hi Al, I was most impressed by yesterday’s staged outpouring of grief in North Korea. Can you confirm you’ve got everything set in place in the event of my death? You did a great job with the crowd of Labour members you had bussed in to shake my hand in Downing Street in 97. The press didn’t find out for years that they weren’t genuine random members of the public.
When I die, I want thousands of people crying in the streets. I want a state funeral and a national day of mourning. Use the Special Operations fund to pay party members a tenner each for participating.
YES Master!
Have shed all my tears over the state of the country after 13 years of Bliar government. However,don’t let my lack of tears delay the demise.
Hi Damien… plop, eeugh… I was prudently impressed by yesterday’s staged outpouring of grief in North Korea… plop, uuugh… Can you confirm you’ve got everything prudently set in place in the tragic event of my death? You did a great job… plop… sorry, I said job and it made me do another jobbie. As I was saying, you did a great job… plop, weeeagh… with planning the smear campaign, even though it was spoiled by bigots.
When I die, I want… plop… thousands of people crying in the streets. I want a state funeral and a national day of mourning. Use Macauley’s expenses fund to pay party members a fiver each for participating. Plop, aaaah.
I went to collect my new Saab yesterday, but they said they were having difficulties. Anyone help?
F Off.
So let me get this right she goes out leaving a 6ft dribbling moron who has a history of wrecking things , in the house and big fat idiot child breaks something ?? so exactly how the hell did she figure it all out ?
That sort of skill would make George Washington’s dad bloody Poirot!
Am i bothered?
Did the house burn down?
Who gives a fuck!
I blame Sue.
Mr Spe aker, the tree did not collapse. The figures show that between 2000 and 2009 there was a 574% increase in tree production that, taken in the context of post-neoclassical endogenous growth theory with real terms spending increase year upon year, show the tree was not only stable but was efficient.
A modicum of light touch tree regulation is essential to promote perpetual root growth.
No doubt it was the blind Hunt who knocked it over as well
Stupid people might.
If the Pandas cant get laid in Edinburgh on Hogmanay there is no hope for the species.
Has anyone ever had sex in Scotland?
Judging from the hordes of double-chipped Kookies running about Glasgow, someone somewhere has cracked the code.
Tree knocked over?
It wasnt me.
I was in America.
Research shows that home Christmas Tree accidents fell by 38.7% under Labour
Vote Tree Vote Labour
Does anyone actually know if Mr & Mrs B live together in Cowdenbeath? Or is she resident mainly in London?
Any Fifers seen them around town?
Macauley’s children angered me. So I hurled a Nokia at them. They started to cry. That made me even more angry. So I kicked a football and it hit the tree. I shouted at the boys “Now look what you’ve done! Whose idea was that? Sue’s I think”. I ordered them to put the tree back up and warned that if they told Miss Macauley what had happened, I’d Nokia them in their sleep. They cried and said they wanted their mum and dad. I said Macauley’s in Canterbury and their dad is an anonymous sperm donor.
It’s funny, because it’s true.
Was it one of those Special Kircaldy ‘glow in the dark’ trees?
I blame Blair
I can see what has hapepned here. It’s very sad.
Now he can no longer bend Balls over and use his arse as a Christmas Tree Stand this was inevitble.
No, not Thatcher. Moran.
http://www.maxfarquar.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/margaret-moran-before-and-after.jpg
Isn’t she the one who’s faking mental illness in a not-too-subtle attempt to escape punishment for expenses-fiddling (aka “blatant theft”)?
“Oooh, you can’t prosecute me, I’ve got two pencils up my nostrils and I keep saying ‘wibble’.”
Which is not technically considered to the Un-Parliamentary Conduct if done standing up and facing the Speaker
Its Happy Christmas you twat. Piss off back to America
Not for everyone Santa, you bigoted twat!
It’s a Christian festival. Are you going to stand in the middle of a Mosque and shout Happy Holidays at Eid? Or just take the opportunity for a day off while slagging off the reason for that day off because no one’s going to beat you senseless for the insult?
Is this a fucking joke? Margaret Moran’s succeeded in hoodwinking 3 shrinks into believing she’s unfit to stand trial! What the fuck! She was due to go on trial in April but proceedings have been adjourned while the judge decides if the crooked c unt is mentally fit to stand trial. Her defence have called for the trial to be abandoned on the grounds it poses a threat to her life! These stupid psychiatrists based their opinion on the fact the rancid bitch cried continuously when she first attended court. Of course she’s going to fucking cry! She’s been found out and faces prison and wants sympathy! I can’t believe they’ve fallen for her act. I hope that piece of shit gets what she fucking deserves.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/dec/15/mps-expenses-margaret-moran-trial
Known as the Guinness defence. Worked a treat for Saunders.
There is no justice in England.
Will the proceeds of crime act still stand? Can we seize her ill gotten gains from her fraud & theft from the taxpayer?
If you try to prosecute me, I shall cry and cry and cry.
And the magic bunny who lives in my head will start screaming!
God, no-one’s going to fall for this shit are they? Still, better keep trying.
Right, uhm, the world is made of marzipan, space aliens live under my fingernails. I hear voices. etc etc.
Have no fear my previous clients, magrahi, saunders, deawani all got away with it.
That’s a relief!
Do I still have to wear these underpants on my head, or can I take them off now?
They might bang you up eventually, but in the meantime you can lead’em a merry chase. Worked for me for 30 years.
Taxi/ambulance for Moran! Which address though?
Where were they when Gordon was in charge?
Name the psychs. There are a number of these guys who will write reports almost on demand for the lawyers for these kinds of cases
I predict a miraculous recovery.
And I should know.
Costing WHO £300k? Us?
OK who’s paying for them and who is going to get them
Don’t point at me. It was either those tree fellers delivering seasonal gifts or was caused by the Ready-Brekryptonite on the local beach.
Still no phone call from Angela or Nicolas to sort things out. Strange. Packed my bags and ready to fly off to North Korea in their hour of need. I am ah-so wonderful.
I’m assuming the blind bastard walked into it while he was on his way to the lavatory to save the world.
Day can go fuck demselves man.
Nah. We don’t think so. We have better things to do.
I’ll come if you like honey
By pretending to be seriously mentally ill, doesn’t Moran risk being sectioned? She can’t have it both ways. If the judge was to say she won’t have to stand trial but that she should be sectioned, you’d see the fastest sudden recovery in history. But chances are she won’t even get that and will walk away unpunished for her crimes. British justice. Gotta love it.
British justice – designed by the likes of me! Ha! Now you know why it’s crap.
Can’t prosecute me! I’m nuts! Choo choo! I’m an aeroplane! Meow!
Suckers.
Dear Santa,
For christmas I’d like the coalition to collapse and for David Cameron to call a snap election while he’s still ahead in the polls so we can get a working majority and ensure Labour being in opposition for a generation.
and me – this watered down whiff whaff for five years is getting on my nerves.
Brown fell into the tree after a heavy binge drinking session on cheap whisky(bought from Lidl) and Iron Bru. He is also on strong anti depressants making this is a potent combination. He cannot come to terms with the fact that he is no longer the Prime Minister and simply drinks himself into a booze fuelled rage locked away in his study. He watches the world economic crises unfold on Sky TV and thinks he should be centre stage saving the world. Instead he is merely an old drunken washed up socialist politician who is now a completely busted flush. A total has been just like a man who won the lottery and recklessly blew the lot in a heavy binge spending spree. This is really hurting Gordon and he feels the world has betrayed him.
Look Sarah, do us a favour will you, just simply shut yer gob, we’re not remotely interested in your thoughts whatsoever
Dum…. der der dum.
Is this a cigar I see before me.
My husband, my hero, the father of my children, please welcome Ton– Gordon Brown!
Was there a glory hole between No.10 and No.11?
The labour liar Rachel Reeve MP is currently spouting rubbish in the house. Where did labour find this stupid bitch?
I heard she began as a Young Conservative.
Not now Cato.
MARLENE!!!!!
The story of an everyday Scottish family… The Broons.
Sunday Post. How I remember the Broons as a child.
Ed Miliband has stated that the tree went too far and too fast.
+5
New Year Resolution for all forms of the media —- Totally ignore the Browns and Blairs in every way. No publicity whatsoever. Ignore the lying incompetents for ever.
Just as soon as they are all safely in jail
Hear, hear!
Sarah Brown is either thick or devious. If she’s not thick she must realise that most people will assume that her husband is out of control (again..) which is a pretty disloyal revelation. To her I would say: I suggest that you explain or shut up. You might say it’s none of my business, but your husband’s past behaviour is determining my grandchildrens’ future.
Brown trashed the tree in a whisky fuelled rage then tried to blame it on their disabled children. Just imagine for one moment what Christmas with the Browns in Kirkcaldy is going to be like this year.
Spare a thought for his poor children. We’ve got rid of him (but alas not the aftermath of his splurges), but those poor blighters are stuck with him for ever. As for Sarah, its at least partly her own fault for being such a masochist and getting involved with him.
Has Sarah shoved the tree up Gorgon’s arse? You always stick a fairy on top of the tree.
I think he went too far with the chocolate santa.
Was Gorgon stealing the chocolate money of the tree at the time?
Not stealing them. He was investing them.
Investing them by sitting under the tree with a scattered shower of silver and gold foil wrappers around him as he greedily rams coins into his brown, chocolate covered, gaping gob.
That image could have been his Christmas card.
“Investing in me .. at the expense of you..Merry Fuckoff!”
All of the above, but in a soiled nappy.
Did she check to make sure Gordon wasn’t lying underneath it ?
Perhaps she had it balanced above the door, waiting for it to land on him.
I hope McDoom, The Great Ruiner checks in to read all the heartwarming messages from his loving and loyal ex-subjects at this magical time of year.
Brings a tear to the eye it does.
It was the ghost of Dave’s daddy!
My Hero – You Cu*t.
She stopped allowing his sex a long time ago. In her words… wait for it… ‘No more bum or bust’.
“That’s a funny looking fairy on top of the tree mummy”
“That’s your father dear”
Sounds like the prelude to a massive insurance claim.
Look, there has been a 0% increase in real terms of trees not falling over this fiscal period.
Let’s draw a line under this and move on.
Having suffered my pension wiped out,13 years of punitive taxation because I actually worked for a living, my savings decimated by low interest rates brought on by the hole gordon dug do I bear a grudge? No – but if the whole of the opposition including Brown and Blair suddenly fell ill and died tonight I would probably have the best Xmas ever
He ain’t English!
Friends of Brown are denying he smashed the tree in a fit of rage and tried to blame his sons.
Who gives a flying fuck what that diot and his creepy wife are doing. Pair of complete waste of spaces
What a waste of time reporting what moron Sarah gets up to
Given that he knocked the whole fucking country into the shit are we surprised?
Hoots! Gordie’s been at the ‘wee Buckie’ again.