December 18th, 2011

Exclusive: New Miliband Speechwriter Deletes Critique

The Sunday papers are grim reading for Ed Miliband, with the Mail reporting the previously blogged criticisms of his newly hired speechwriter Asher Dresner. This morning  Dresner has quietly deleted the entries criticising Ed speeches from his blog to save his new boss embarrassment. As ever, in an effort to be helpful, Guido has restored and uploaded Dresner’s wisdom to the web here for all to read. The web is forever, not just for Christmas…

Dresner once wrote that

I really believe that the reason Blair was so successful was because he spoke to centrist majority….

Something that his new boss explicitly rejects, so Dresner will have to be clever in getting Blairisms into his speeches. Ed Miliband listens to left-wing wonks who think there is a “progressive majority”. Unfortunately the polls showing the Tories ahead suggest the reality is otherwise.

The Indy reports that Labour HQ is to be moved nearer to parliament, as if the 5 minute walk from Big Ben to Labour’s offices is part of the problem. The same article reports grassroots despair from former Ed supporters. The number of despairing former Ed supporters seems to be growing at an accelerating rate.

As Asher comes in and Ayesha goes out Guido has heard more about that much contested story from last week, sources say she fell out with Tom Baldwin repeatedly and that she is suspected of leaking Ed’s media grid as a departing shot. She has previous for negative briefing when she last worked for Harriet Harman,

This of course could be the product of an over-stimulated paranoid imagination. Baldwin himself is looking noticeably rough under the pressure of propping up Ed and getting cut through for his message. It can’t be easy to keep to a single line…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed is a wonderful Labour leader!!!!


  2. 2
    The Sheikh Of Arabeee says:

    Dresner should just fucking pack up now.

    You can’t polish a turd.


  3. 4
    Marie o'Nette says:

    Oh, I don’t know …..


  4. 5
    Apostrophies Are Important says:

    Guido has a part time job as a greengrocer!


  5. 9
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    I understand Andy Burnham Mp was doing the rounds on TV this morning, I dont suppose he was asked about his “Bungs” by the BBC or Sky?


  6. 11

    ♫♪Things go better with Coke♫♪


  7. 12
    Gizza Government says:



  8. 14
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve had a Czech up


  9. 15
    Anonymous says:

    the No more Mr NICE guy on y’er knee’s beech


  10. 16
    Fish says:

    Any critique of Ed’s wofeful week on the BBBC this morning?

    All I could here (from a domestic politics perspective was either the EU or Aiden Burley, Five Live helpfully comparing the history of dressing up as a Nazi (which Burley didn’t do) with that of Cameron and Osborne as Bullingdon Club members. The Beeb of course made the editorial decision to ignore Balls appearance in his SS uniform.

    People will begin to think there is bias at the Beeb!!!


    • 56
      A vaguely practicing Christian says:

      Im sure you have made a valid point but could you please post using sentences that make sense so I can be sure. Thank you.


  11. 22
    Anus Homo says:

    I love that image of Baldwin, he looks like a bit of a depraved cu’nt


  12. 24

    Having read the deleted comments via Scribd, his criticism seems pretty constructive.


  13. 29

    I was a bit rude about this Asia bint. I now see that she does have a couple of good points:


  14. 30
    Some Geezer wot has heard too many politicians "baffle'm with BS" says:

    There’s a great story in Barbara W. Tuchman’s The Proud Tower about the great American orator and perennial Presidential candidate William Jennings Bryan, to the effect that when he accepted his party’s nomination for the Presidential candidacy in 1896, he proceeded to tell the crowd that the US would pull out of the recession it was in after the Panic of ’93 only if the banks would lend farmers and industry more money, i.e. stimulus, but that the bankers wouldn’t do so because of gold-standard reserves requirements. After laying it out, Bryan screams “You shall not crucify mankind upon the cross of gold!”, and the crowd goes wild; a Democratic Party boss turns to another and asks, “WTF did he just say?” and the other boss says, “I dunno, but it sure sounded good!”

    Unfortunately, this is how politics is done and ’twas ever thus: Just make sure it sounds good, whether it means anything or not. This is the poisoned chalice for Asher Dresner: Make Ed Miliband at least SOUND good.


    • 44
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      The finest CD in the world will sound awful if played through a crap delivery system. In this case there is a malfunctioning decoder, the tweeter is shit and there’s a lot of wobble in the bottom.


  15. 31
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Not at all a Bliar fan, you could understand his speaking….even when what came out was bullshit. But am I right in assuming that this Mister Ed has some form of speech impediment. Left-wing bullshit with bad delivery is a disaster. Will this man ever be PM????


  16. 33
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No, No,No Guido!

    you have all this wrong, Ed along with Occupy LSX have said they represent the 99%, there is no way Ed would be low in the polls right?

    Must be a rouge poll!


  17. 39
    Tom Baldwin says:

    I don’t do cocaine. I am cocaine.


  18. 40
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    …as if the 5 minute walk is part of the problem. It is if Ed can’t remember what his handlers told him to say after the walk


  19. 43
    P.J. O'Rourke says:

    No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society.

    If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.


    • 48
      C Barnard says:

      A man after my own heart.


      • 117
        Pompey says:

        Hi Christian, it’s been a long time


        • 123
          C Barnard says:

          And there I was thinking you’d forgotten me.
          How’s my star Louis doing these days ? – a little red dwarf but a big-hearted fellow. (Truth be known, he’s a bit dim.)


    • 64
      A Vaguely Practising Christian says:

      No but drugs prevelant at the time are good representations of what kind of society we live in. Cocaine for example is a fine representation of the vaccous, shallow fuckwitted Society of the moment.


    • 68
      Instant arsehole: just add alcohol says:

      Yes, but I think a couple of the traits you list tend to get exacerbated by alcohol.


  20. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today i will be a garden shed.


    • 76
      Percy Throwup says:

      ….. full of manure.


    • 85
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Shame you left your collection of tools in westminster….


      • 87
        Wiv luv from Brickston says:

        Includin’ all de spades , man.


      • 104
        Ed Miliband's Parasite Party says:

        We wish to point out that – as the Dear Leader Himself has said – the Party headed by Dear Leader Miliband is an entirely New Generation.

        Any similarity amongst all the Shadow Cabinet to the shower of shit we had from 1997-2010 is a figment of your imagination.

        Furthermore, none of the Dear Leader’s team ever worked in Brown’s cabinet. The names and faces are the same, but this just an amazing co-incidence.

        Thank you.


  21. 57
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    dont see why Ed Balls gets so much stick dressing as a Nazi, Ed was only dressing as a fellow socialist!


  22. 58
    jgm2 says:

    Mandelson Sort Lobbying Contract from Mubarak

    Mandelson Sought Lobbying Contract from Mubarak


  23. 80
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  24. 81
    not a machine says:

    We still dont know if Ed would have signed the treaty or not do we ? Nor it seems do we know if Nick and Vince would have ? whilst a good thrashing of the conservative lead gets an airing .
    Nick thinks marriage is a private matter , but has no reason to explain if its private matter with a positive effect on peoples lives , that governements should uphold and support .
    prof Dawkins thinks biblical morality has not been a foundation and that if we followed it , we would be stoniing people seemingly missing out the whole of new testament “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” Noting he has declined a debate with top USA appologist and too many other offered champions , that he sees as beneath him , or just maybe frit .
    3mn UK jobs are at risk if the euro fails and then tags its eurosceptics , completely missing, if it is failing eursozone members by its inherent inflexibility , debts and corruptions. seems to miss out 5mn unemployed that grew under pro EU blair , still lets not let a little amnesia and distortion of truth get in the way of a bit of lib dem kinda of day .

    Just concerns me what passes for answers these days in the game of “step in my turd”,


  25. 90
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  26. 92
    council tax doesn't have to be taxing says:

    This looks like fun, courtesy of OH.


  27. 93
    council tax doesn't have to be taxing says:

    Fucking mod. Type, http://www.callmeacuп into your browser,(do not cut and paste this!)


  28. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed Miliband will be the greatest Primeminister ever !


  29. 101
    Tom Badwind says:



  30. 103
    retardEd Miliband says:

    It’s pronounthed “Prime Minithter”. And yeth, I will be the greatetht.

    Even now, I can picture my adoring public waving their handth and cheering me ath I enter Downing Thtreet. And when I am in there, I thall thay to the union bo’theth, “would you like thugar in your tea, my mathterth?”

    It’th tho exthiting! I am tho much looking forward to thith.


  31. 114
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Vince says to tell you he doesn’t have an opinion on this issue. (But I know he’s after Nick’s job).


  32. 116
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    SO Dave has bowed to Labour pressure and sacked the Aid who went to a party where someone just happened to be wearing a Nazi uniform Lets hope Ed Balls or any other Labour wanker does not try to make political capitol out of this .
    Including the slapper who posed with the statue of Hitler !


    • 129
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      Cameron finds sacking members of his own party who’ve only embarrassed themselves very easy, doesn’t he? Pity he never feels the same way about the likes of Chris Huhne who’s not just an embarrassing backstabbing bastard, he’s also subject of a police investigation suspected of committing a criminal offence. My question to Wavey Davey is WHY haven’t you sacked Huhne yet?


  33. 120
    Anna says:

    Gotta laugh about all this. Ed Miliband is the Unions’ placeman, and what is he doing? Virtually guaranteeing that Labour won’t get elected any time soon. If I see that as a hilarious come-uppance for the Unions, I will happily admit I’m biased! David Miliband, meanwhile, has rather grown since his ousting. Sounds positively human these days, even likeable (which is not to say I would vote for him, just recognising realities). Governed by the Unions, Labour missed a trick there. As a famous woman allegedly once said, “It’s a funny old world…”


  34. 122


    Powder corrupts.


  35. 124
    A Fine Pair Of Lungs says:

    Who are all the jumped up idiots? Asher this, Ayeshat this and Arsewipe that?
    Guido it Bliarism not Blairism.


  36. 126
    The Church of Dave. says:

    Ed’s speech at the last Labour Conference was dismal. Say what you like about Labour, they usually deliver a bloody good speech even if it is full of lies or undeliverable promises. What happened?


  37. 127
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Don’t forget that Ed Balls dressed up as Santa Klaus Barbie recently.


  38. 128
    The Church Of Dave says:

    I have built my shrine for Brave Dave. He will lead us out of the Land of slavery, he will free his people from the misery of second class citizenship. Brave Dave our true leader will lead us out of the darkness that is Europe and into the light of democracy. He has given us sign. He has shown us his Veto. All praise to Brave Dave. Hallelujah.


  39. 130
    Rt Hon Jim "Hacker" says:

    We’ve just uncovered new footage of the Miliband of Brothers after the election of Ed– warning, this video may be offensive, not to any normal person, but to the Brothers themselves:

    This footage, however, may land us a super-injunction so enjoy it whilst you still can, before it’s taken down and we are hauled in front of the Leveson Inquiry to find out how we obtained it.


  40. 131
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    rather than just disappearing into the shadows for a while before attaining public prominence at a later day, usually by standing as an MP, why can’t these people just be shot – no matter what party they adhere to????


  41. 134
    Pepsi is the real thing says:


  42. 138
    Cynic says:

    Poor Baldwin. From your photo it looks like Milliband makes him go out in the snow to work in this terrible cold weather. Cant some of his Union friends speak up on his behalf.


  43. 139
    RunningDog says:

    Pseudo-new labour’s ruling dinosaurs navel-gaze as they dream of old, discredited socialism-forms. They imagine the witless milliband.ed as archetypal exploitable proletariat and appoint him to give virtual reality to their outmoded dream/nightmare; their involuntary suspension of disbelief entails wilful ignorance of empirical poll-reality.


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