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You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…















aye ready to recive
‘Tis better to give…
Hey Cat ! What would you like to give to this one ?
Jane Hill The BBC’s resident “Rug Muncher”
Not bad really
http://www.lite-news.com/wp-content/uploads/Jane-Hill-2.jpg
She has a striking similarity in facial shape, torso and skin colouring to my third ever – er – friend. So I can hardly disapprove.
However my tastes changed with time. Not carrying any spare weight results in my tending to attract similar types. But really it is the brain that matters most. You can forgive a lot when you have a meeting of the minds.
Every so often I have encountered females where I have been beaten in trying to assess whether I like their brains or bodies more. That is the time when all my cool melts away and I become a shivering mental and physical wreck.
The trouble with these “friends” is that the wife never see’s the funny side of things !
Exactly. The old Naval toast used to be To wives and girlfriends. May they never meet.
You are interesting in everything except sex.
Get a grip.
Love order-order. Hate this shit.
Excuse me but Frankie and I are having a private conversation.
We do so from time to time, being old mates so, if you don’t like it, either don’t listen or sod off.
This shit is order-order you nonce.
It’s really annoying when the gay’s Butt in !
Butt! LOL Frankie!
Oh wait a minute, I am gay.
#####!!!!!! EPIC FAIL !!!!!!!#####
Frankie does not do HTML.
Sorry cat, Billy told me how to do it in a rare moment of lucidity. He’s like that like in the mornings for about 5 minutes, but it soon wears off.
A gay, at the bbc?
Ooh I say!
97.5% of all men have never had sex with another man.
Well I am proud to be part of the 2.5%
Size of member ? or brain capacity ?.
Has that obnoxious twat Coe ever held down a proper job ?
War of words: French attack on UK ‘simply unacceptable’ says Clegg
Deputy Prime Minister tells French PM Francois Fillon “remarks about British economy simply unacceptable” and steps should be taken “to calm the rhetoric” in wake of EU treaty war of words
Calm the words? How about going over there on the Eurostar and giving Sargozy a good fucking kicking? Have that you 3 inch high twat.
My French Sarkozy dwarf poodle is carrying out my instructions to attack the British. How dare the British refuse my control when I have all the money. I will have my revenge when my Limp-Dumb hamsters gain power with my Labour poodles.
The frogs never got over Agincourt Wayne. I think we should send another company of archers to sort the surrender m*keys out [again].
One might say that the diminutive French president was going out shortly…
By saying that he wants our credit-rating downgraded, the French PM is saying he wants our economy to degrade. He wants our borrowing costs to rise, our austerity to get worse. This is what the French PM says he wants.
Why the fuck do we continue to pay £13billion a year to be a member of a club full of subhuman eurotrash cunts who want to see our economy destroyed?
Fuck France and fuck the French.
Time for an organised boycott of all things French.
We must boycott their letters.
It is Lord Trombone to you, son
FUCK THE FRENCH
top or bottom ?
But a lot of BOYS have had sex with BOYS– it’s all in how you phrase the question. That’s probably right, that 97.5% figure, in terms of adult males having sex with adult males. (Unfortunately, there’s another few percent. that are adult males having sex with not-quite-adult males. That’s for the Pope and other appropriate authorities to crack down on.) But in terms of >21′s with >21′s, the age of majority in most countries, a figure of 3% or so seems to hold true across all cultures and epochs, maybe an extra percent. or two if we believe there is some underreporting going on because the agent inquiring is not trusted. The figures cited of anywhere from a tenth to a third of men having had a same-sex experience usually involve sexual horseplay of boys with boys.
Glad we could clear that up.
Guidogram in yet Fawkesy?
Well, if Emily Maitlis is getting it, I want no part of it.
But Gordon is not getting it, so its safe
Emily, ‘face/sit’ these two words somehow become conjoined !.
If she’s reading it it’s only so she knows what subjects to avoid on Newsnight. She would never say anything that might damage the Labour party/EU/ etc. etc.
‘eat my shorts’ /
Accepted
I’m sure everyone will enjoy reading about me and my boss Emma Reynolds having dyke sex with waxwork Nazis!
Count me in
I am opening 81 new ‘e’ accounts as we don’t speak !!
Me too!
And me !
and us !
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IznBbFnKxhI/R_H8MWgLDMI/AAAAAAAAFa0/5_lSa2jAzMQ/s400/Formula+One+racing+chief+Max+Mosely+is+a+BDSM+switch+with+a+Nazi+fetish+GutterUncensored.com+1697.jpg
The reason profit in education is a dirty word is that parental choice and profit will show just how pathetic the states extortion funded “education” is.
Yes, well I’m glad you got that off your bosoms.
Emily Maitlis Gets it !
Lucky her i say !
CRUMPET !!!!!!!
Tiz quite true
he just needs a bigger box to stand on !
http://morrisonworldnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Nicholas-Sarkozy-standing-on-box.jpg
There’s an election over there soon. I wonder, will he leave with office with as much dignity as Monsieur Bruin?
An angry bloke shouted “Don’t give it if you can’t take it” at me last night.
It’s at this point I realised, I’m probably not gay after all.
I was in the bog having a piss
The bloke next to me had a cock like a horse
I said “I’d give my right arm for some of that”
He said “bend over you can have all of it” !
Cannot believe Sky are still showing Cain Millibland at this mornings visit to Heathrowstan every half-hour, the bonus is how lame and pathetic he looks and sounds.
Shame C4 can’t get the BB psychologist to give a run down on what might be going on in his little mind.
Ed might be Cain, but David only looks Able by comparison…
I don’t know but I’ve been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold
Heartbreak ridge !
Sorry Heartbreak Ridge was
Model “T” ford and a tank full of gas !
Mouthful of pussy and a hand full of arse !
An Officer and a Gentleman.
Repeated every other month!
No cats there (long time yum) but the trick is to slaughter
an Elk & while it is still warm,to drag the virgin Emily ma (sorry)
Inuit girl within the steaming carcass & play mummy & daddy.
I just hope for Global Warming –
Meanwhile there’s a crevasse forming
This will be my last christmas a free man.
The first six words would have been sufficient.
You won’t be missing much thanks to you you cretin.
“Last Christmas
I gave you my points
But the very next day
You gave me away
This year
To save me from jail
I’ll need the CPS…”
Does the Siberian MP get it?
I’ll post mine in her box !
Will you lick the flap to seal it, Frankie?
To true and i will deliver my Package !
Express, no doubt?
He owns the farm !!
Where in the hell are you from anyway, Private?
Texas.
Texas?! Holy dogshit! Only two things come from Texas, steers and queers, and you don’t look much like a steer to me so I guess that kinda narrows it down.
Officer & a Gentleman.
Mind you if that’s how the USN select & train their Naval aviators it makes much clear!
Well what do we have here, a fucking comedian, Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come round and fuck my sister.
haha – been there – done it – didn’t bother with the t-shirt
Did your parents have any children that survived?
Sir, yes sir.
I bet they regret that. You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.
What!, how many thousands of times did Emily Maitles get it from Going Out Shortly insider from in front and behind?…
Sorry wrong thread.
Have you had a drink or do you need one?
Is that an existential trick question?.
If she’s already got it
you must take precautions !
Surely, if it were, it would have to be worded Are you a drink?
I say that to get an easy link to a true life tale. I had a gf who pointed out to me a notice outside a pub we had once gone to for lunch.
It advertised a fancy dress party and entreated their customers “Come as a drink”. It became a cliché for us to use in unsuspecting company.
Baileys Irish Cream.
Many a time I try and pursuade Mrs S that it tastes like that or similar – but she just refuses to believe me.
As in “I say my dear would you care for a quick shot of Merry Monk”?
Thread away———-
Cant call for anyone to be hung on this thread post……
(To stay on topic anyway)
Sarkozy is well hung. He once wished that his dick would hang down to the ground. It does – the Tooth Fairy shortened his legs.
Lol
Boom Boom
Attention to detail missed?
Boom Boom Boom
Me and Sarkozy were pissing in the stones
I said “It’s cold in here ”
Yes he said “It’s deep too” !
Ka-boom! Tishhhh….
IS THAT YOU JOHN WAYNE? IS THIS ME?
Who said that?! Who the fuck said that?! Which one of you twinkle toed commie sonsabitches said that?! No one, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it!
Pub.
Thanks, just wondered …..
Enjoy and have one for me…………
Does anyone know the name of that maths tomb that took nearly a decade to write? I think it’s part of a trilogy.
Principia Mathematica.
Alfred North Whitehead and Bertrand Russell
Is it Tombola ?
Tome, not tomb.
Yeah! We can cope with that. We get much worse here sometimes.
Smart bloke.
I like reading your posts.
Just don’t be a smart arse. Tis as tedious as Billy.
Strange place. I gave you a reply at the right place that went into a Discus pit.
E says *give some slack honey* you have plenty to share.
No more tedious than a Northern monkey who tries to dictate what’s said here.
All I can be is myself. Some like it. Some hate it. Whatever it is, it that is their problem and not mine.
One of the problems with a Libertarian blog, if you are of a certain disposition, is that you are likely to encounter Libertarians.
Thank you SC and i’m not the guy below although I think you already knew that.
Or above even ^
Both of you are welcome.
That goes for both of us.
Sends kisses.
Was it Connect 4 ?
I thought a Trillorgy was a sex party for Budgies !
We do our best, sir.
Does the gram thingie give you discounts at Iceland or lots of lovely spam?
The Drill Instructor in the scene is R. Lee Ermey, who really was a “Gunny” in the USMC in the 1960s/70s. This is how the DI’s do it nowadays:
OOO-rah!
IT’s only the Olympics* Venue Gardening*
Wey hey. A private conversation on a public web site.
I’ll not look then.
And do everyone a favour and fuck off.
Bit rude that.
Are you Ed Balls?
If I am, so what?
I’d just like to know what neo guido endogeness growth theory is.
My local council provides bags for it but no one uses them.
Bill you have good taste in everything except this. Oasis are rubbish. The 5 year olds at our local school could sing better.
Its the meesage tho, being free to be whatever you want to be.
Nice message. rubbish singer.
I is a unashamed Oasis fan , sorry
+++Laugh+++ Enjoy.
I’ll stick to Queen, The Bee Gees and Xmas Carols!
Agreed, nell – Oasis are the two-bob Beatles for the fifteen second attention span generation.
Lynyrd Skynyrd for me
Oasis – a wet puddle in the desert
@Selohesra
Saw original Skynyrd three times, once from the front row. Fantastic.
Ooo,Ooo,Ooo Cat.
How wonderful.
@Cat – richarddawkins.net has a whole bunch of Hitchens clips and seem to be collecting together a lot of his writings. Worth a view.
Ta Para!
Haha, Dawkins, what a fucking little mamas darling he is. I’m not religious, but what a fucking wanker he’s made of himself over this God delusion bollocks.
Anonymous, you’re not the ghost of Hitch are you?
The Euro Nazis have done it again !
The draft treaty states that if 9 out of the 17 countries sign then it can be implemented for all 17
WITHOUT the need to get it passed through parliaments or have to hold referendums
If you foresee a problem Remove the problem
It’s the EU way
Talk about moving the fucking goal posts !
we aint in the 17 tho? so wont apply?
Still won’t stop the euro collapsing eventually.
Good job we’ll be in position to stop them using the EU bodies to enforce it, then.
9 out of 17 isn’t even QMV – it’s a straight majority. The Irish should beware, lest their corporation tax (which is all that is saving them from meltdown at the moment) is pushed sky high to conform to the French idea of taxing the shit out of companies so that they can keep the sheep burners on side.
Try as I might I don’t understand all this.
Tis all a joke. The markets will eat the euro & any bond sales come January.
The Germans & the French will be fighting about cinders.
I suspect tedheath is having a laugh at us from the other side.
The eu and the euro is a massive joke that’s going to end in an even more massive failure; hopefully in my lifetime!
That useless old twat always batted for the other side !
Heath I hope is currently advising Old Nick regarding the benefits of joining the euro.
I thought they meant that they could have treaty with 9 and the others could follow if they were daft enough too pass referendums etc- sounds along way from 26
There is no 26 any more they have all come onside with Dave (Balls of Steel) Cameron !
Were isolated Frankie, the BBC says it, so it must be true.
How many isolated did you read & hear in the last few days?
I wanted to insert bollocks before & after.
How lazy. How stupid.
So I see nickclegg the next would be kinnochio eu commissioner, has told the French to shut up and stop knocking our financial position.
Will he be telling the libdems to stop trying to undermine cameron’s stand against merkozy with our own business community?
Two Frankie Boyles and a divvy actor? Too much, man!
That’s a bit sad.
Twat twit.
Oooh Mummy, I’m surrounded by white shit
I was in the pub last night and went to the toilet.
When I washed my hands, the water sprayed all over my jeans.
I was extremely embarrassed, so I just went and told everyone that it was piss.
Don’t mention the war ! Especially to the French
This is why they hate us .
Clegg has just told them off.
A bit.
According to the Telegraph.
That should sort it then.
He said that if they didn’t play nicely he would have no choice but to go and live in Holland.
Petain was a shortarse, too.
Must be something in the Vichy water. Maybe Dave should take a bottle of Malvern next time he meets Shortarzy and explain that Vichy really doesn’t cut the mustard when it comes to international relations.
Nothing really cuts the mustard with these deranged lot….
Jonny Alliday. Edith Pissed.
My dad was a commander of an RN ship off Dakar that helped to sink the French fleet after Petain had refused to surrender it.
Then three decades later, he retired to France and lived there almost four decades before he died there. We had to keep quiet about Dakar, even all that time later!
My mother has De Gaulle to thank for her house – it’s an ex-US army officers’ bungalow that was vacated when the bignosed ungrateful twat kicked the Yanks out. Nice place, and cheap as chips when she and the old man bought it about 15 years back. Handy for La Rochelle and the nice bits of coast along there, and a short drive to Cognac.
I like the French people – but they do seem to be unfortunate in their choice of leaders.
Lovely area that. Fine beaches, great wines, lovely architecture.
Funny but was discussing this today. The French are no intellectual slouches, as you well know, but in terms of general education and adaptively, they are some way behind where the British had got to before the last lot devalued the educational currency. Much later also into the industrial revolution, they were having their real life one. My suggestion was that this tells.
I have no illusions that we are that bright in the UK, especially after yesterday’s result in Feltham and Heston. But the French can be even more cussed and with less reason to justify it when considered en-masse.
I say that having a number of French friends myself who are still friends despite my harsh judgment of their countrymen.
I think the Civil War has a lot to do with it – it allowed the English to come to a much more useful arrangement with the monarchy than the French were able to with theirs. Our restoration of the monarchy but without the power contrasts with the French experience of a catastrophic revolution followed by the Napoleonic episodes, and as you say, the lack of an industrial base (as much through English protectionism as any lack of aptitude or appetite on the French side) influenced matters greatly – most of Napoleon’s military activity was aimed at capturing wealth for the French Treasury, and the influence of military thinking on their technocratic system of education cannot be dismissed.
While England was making technological progress, France was engaged in a struggle to discover what sort of a nation they wanted to be, and a struggle to acquire rather than create wealth – they did not have the advantage of India or the extensive Caribbean holdings, and thus their supplies of cotton and other goods were less abundant and didn’t lead to invention and industrialisation.
The more I think about it, the luckier I feel to be British, though I do have a weakness for good wine and fine food that would be better catered for over there
Yawn…….
@Paragnostic. Completely agree with your analysis. It takes generations to put problems right. France is still paying for their past. We will be paying for successively worse government for a century IMO.
The French pay a lot of heed to intellectual accomplishments, but confuse book learning with true understanding and experience. A bit like so many smart arse Oxbridge graduates who have brilliant analytic minds but zero intuition.
That is a fair point against perhaps rather too many of the intelligentsia.
I’m not a military man, but that Frog sub at 2’21 looks like it was designed by a committee of dustbin collection operatives after an evening on the green fairy.
O Contraire Mon Ami at that time the French actually had the worlds largest submarine “Le Surcouf” Which had an incident on board just after the sinking of their ships . A couple of British sailors were killed in a gun fight with the crew
there were in fact two SAS guys on board and later in the war they sacrificed themselves so this sub also could not fall into enemy hands by blowing the fucker up.
The official explanation for it’s disappearance was an American war ship cut across it at night somewhere off Cuba The truth is the crew mutinied and were taking it back to France which we could not let happen
The American warship story was just a smoke screen because they were already so pissed off with us
It was a 3,500 ton beast (4,500 underwater)with 4x550mm torpedo tubes and 8x400mm
with 2×8″ guns on her decks These two guns were fed by a magazine
A Fucking Beast !containing 60 rounds
Zut alors! A tale of French treachery, lies, cowardice and overwhelming urge to collaborate with Fascists? How unusual.
Still think they forgot to put in a boiler and stuck it on the roof as an afterthought though.
Vive la Resistance!
Ho ho ho.
You just have to laugh at those French !
Stand up! Stand up for Christianity
No Dave’s not strayed into insanity
He’s turned it around. Heresy it ain’t
Of favouritism there is no taint
Any faith or no faith is just as good
Just don’t do what you will. Do what you should
Oh, how he dotes on that cute word “incredible”
Smile now, and swallow, if Dave says it’s edible
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16224394
Categorical imperatives
Are moot, now the world’s gone all relative
Theological cant
Or a foul muslim rant
It’s all much the same to that sell-out, Dave.
That rather unnerving chap Hegel
Tried us all to the view to inveigle
That pure Nothing and Being
Far from not agreeing
In becoming are playboy and playgirl.
Not my work but that of a friend, the late Timothy Sprigge, who wrote a complete philosophical corpus of such august verse.
They can be found here:
http://www.hist-analytic.org/Sprigge3.htm
Thanks – I think I shall bookmark that. Love the “punctilious pedestrian” for Kant, though he is rather rude about Ludwig W!
Must have been an entertaining chap to know.
What s tedious fucking shower of shite. This blog is being fucked over by pseuds corner FFS.
Through conferences over the last decade and a half, I have been fortunate to meet and get to know a number of these people who, though being at the pеak of their profession, retain an approachability and kindness to a relative ignoramus, such as I am.
Coming from the Idealist school, Timothy did not take kindly to either Wittgenstein Early or Late. But he could teach LW’s thinking as lucidly as the keenest disciples, the sign of a true professional.
I read his Santayana this summer. The first and probably the only complete resume of the work in one volume of this interesting but sometimes rather confusing philosopher.
Finally, Nagel’s famous paper What Is It Like to Be a Bat? (1974) was actually a reply to a question which had actually been formulated by Sprigge.
Ooh! Get you, dearie. Long words annoying you, are they?
Here are five short ones you have no doubt heard many times before:
Fuck. Off. You. Useless. Cunt.
Pissed again I see.
Last comment not for you, obviously SC.
Although interesting,I did have a Monty Python moment.
You really had to,innit.
No probs, Paragnostic.
Based upon UK experiences, this blog has to expect its share of Philistines and we have them aplenty tonight.
Poor old LW went looney didn’t he? And don’t get me started on Nietzsche, blah blah blah….
BTW, how long has language been around in the universe? About a fraction of a nano second, and yet man has the hubris to entertain the fact that he can prescribe and describe the universe with it alone. Oh do fuck off.
“the hubris to entertain…”
I’d love to know what other tools are available to describe the universe – and the prescription of things is just a natural feature of language, rather than a declared aim of most strands of thought.
If you’ve indeed read the book from which you extract your moniker, then you’d understand that there are limits to our understanding, but that appeal to the supernatural is not a satisfactory way to try to overcome those limits.
Jus’ sayin’, like.
What appeal to the supernatural?
Away in a manger
The Clegg is asleep.
Surrounded by Sarko & Merkle
The creep.
The stars in the Euro are fading & fast.
The little lord Cleggie
Is out on his ass.
Did you just see me on Live at the Apollo?
I was using my stage name of Russell Kane, but it was me.See here
Anyway christmas has come early the guardian is starting to make redundancies, hopefully polly will be getting a P45. they might replace her with a polish journalist who is prepared to work fro a fifth of the salary.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/media/8961537/Guardian-to-axe-supplements-and-shrink-newspaper.html
FECKIN HELL READ the COMMENTS !
Guardian’s f*cked. It takes them a month’s sales just to pay Richbugger’s salary. We should lament the inevitable demise of a once-great title and the authentic voice of the British intellectual left.
>titters<
“The swastika flags have gone – to be replaced by those of the EU. But nothing else has changed. Paris had no Blitz”.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-562064/Oh-lovely-war-The-dazzling-photos-innocent-Parisian-fun-make-French-ashamed.html
There are a strange mix of fashions on display.
My pussy is so old in cat years, it’s haunted.
BTW Billy, piss off you deluded slag.
Would that be the same “Daily Fail” that paid you to get your kit off ?
You old gypo loving slapper
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1353682/Sally-Bercows-naked-bed-sheet-photoshoot-Only-dont-feet.html
‘there has been no formal complaint against me’….
Presumably that means there has been an informal complaint her.
What has she done now to bring her husband’s office into disrepute?! And when are we goinng to be shut of this shoddy couple??!!
Does this bitch ever STFU?
OK I’m off to bed Folks.
‘Night. Sweet Dreams.
Don’t forget to change your colostomy bag and slip in a bodyform super size towel with wings nell.
So the NHS is negligent in caring for people with Alzheimers and other dementia diseases, as well as the old in general.
Pretty soon, you’ll have to be in perfect health for the NHS to be able to look after you properly.
Dontcha love the public sector.
Come, come, now, old horse, consider the staff
Humouring dotards? Please don’t make them laugh
When agony’s real then they’ll take the blame
Discrimination’s the true name for shame
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-16224062
I rather like the glass bead game comment.
Pithy & hessterical.
I thought it quite cheeky for someone using a Hesse derived moniker to accuse Wittgenstein of being mad. Hesse was a manic depressive all his life – his depiction of the illness in both Rosshalde and Klingsor’s Last Summer is so real it’s almost painful to read.
Nice pun, by the way.
Great free speech on this site.
Thought you might appreciate some of Bill Maloney’s work:
G20 BBC Newsnight Exclusive Unaired – Bill Maloney Reports: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCcvTvfBGsg
Bill Maloney Rattles Ken Livingstone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l2oTdLg9UU
Ed Balls & Harriet Harman Aggressively Questioned – Bill Maloney Reports: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muVhl-CtNB4
You are all asleep, I see.
Time to swap my flask over again. It gets refreshed from time to time.
Which ones have been misbehaving worst …
Have you noticed how some people suddenly disappеar from here and don’t come back?
No accident that.
Ah! Yes! Just the one ….
[Right side of brain wakes up, left eye opens (optic chiasm), unfolds right leg and waves in the air it to uncramp it]
Thick as Thieves, Hardwidge, Tapestry, Canvas, all floating in vats of formaldehyde in a cellar in New Cross …
[Folds left leg under wing, shuts right eye, left brain goes to sleep]
Good Morning – still darned cold.
Good Morning, James.
Hope you are well today. It is cold here as well. I have just looked out at the long line of Dolomites and Julian Alps which present an unbroken ridge of mountain to us some 60 km to the north. After the rain, the visibility has cleared and they can be seen covered in snow. It is a consolation that, having lost our summer here, we can look out on such spectacular views.
See you later.
Now I have seen everything, a Guido reader who has heard of and can spell Nietzsche.
It was Peter Fleming I think who said that his view on Nietzsche was that Knightsbridge has more consonants to the square vowel.
Whatever my brother’s views, the left-hand rule still applies in Knightsbridge.
Go to Kyrgyzstan. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.
I suppose you could say a rose amongst us weeds.