December 15th, 2011

Dead Ed: The Graph
CCHQ Rein in the Hounds

Newsnight gave Ed a pasting last night, but sometimes a graph is all you need. Left Foot Forward have hit the spot:

Half the country thinks he possess absolutely no qualities worth noting. Guido hears that CCHQ strategists have scrapped an attack on Ed’s leadership pencilled in for Friday morning, post by-election defeat…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    But labour are spineless, look how they hung onto Mc Mental!

  2. 2
    ReddyEddy says:

    With Miliband and Clegg as rivals I bet Cameron can not believe his luck. Before that he even had Gordon Brown. He can’t really fail….

  3. 3
    W.W. says:

    As tempting as it is to put the poor beast out of it’s misery.

    It is best for all concerned to allow it a long slow painful death

  4. 4
    MrAngry61 says:

    LFF may opine but it needs PLP action to dismount RedEd.

    Cameron should go easy on him – otherwise the ConDems might face a more serious opponent.

  5. 5
    genghiz the kahn says:

    He’s useless, hopeless perhaps he wants a job with Al Beeb.

    So far two updates of Cheytor, Morely and Illesley – nothing about which party they supported.

    Former MPs David Chaytor, Elliot Morley and Eric Illsley have been told to repay thousands of pounds in legal costs after their convictions for fraudulently claiming expenses.

    Red Charisma free Miliband, with no qualities what so ever.

  6. 6
    W.W. says:

    “He can’t really fail….”

    There are times he gives it a damn good try though.


  7. 7
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Liebore really know how to pick them, by the way he’s going no where, Liebore have never made it possible to sack a leader and the Unions love Red Ed.

    Of course Ed Scrotum and his boy wife might like to make a move but they are as toxic as Red Ed is.

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  9. 9

    Yvette darling, has my time come?

  10. 10
    Spineless labour.. Erm.. says:

    Is that why we are in the euro (not).

  11. 11
    SpAd says:

    Typical of Labour that the aspect they mainly agree on is that Miliband is “in touch” – an expression that means almost nothing.

  12. 12
    W.W. says:

    50% of all voters think he has no qualities what so ever.

    I think they are too generous.


  13. 13
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will spend the evening doing the bathroom with Mr Muscle

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Everyone is missing the point. Labour do not want back in power for the time being such is the clusterfuck facing the Government of the day. They are pinning their hopes on the coalition doing the necessary and taking the pain.

  15. 15
    Raving Loon says:

    He’s not quite as bad as Gordo, but equally pathetic in some respects. He reminds me of a wishy-washy student union debater.

  16. 16
    Col Nut says:

    Never mind the quality, feel the wit.

  17. 17
    To be Fair says:

    To be fair he did score highly on “none” .

  18. 18
    Andrew Efiong says:

    He’s such a plonker… but glorious entertainment.

  19. 19
    Engineer says:

    The ultimate political insult – your main political opponents pulling a campaign against you because it would damage you too much and you might be replaced.

  20. 20
    Bawbag Survivor says:

    I think it’s a bit harsh on Ed…….It’s Labour that are currently toxic,so whoever took over from Brown was on to a hiding for nothing. The fact that non of them had the guts to get rid of an obvious liability,has anchored them all to the previous corrupt and sleaze ridden Government.

  21. 21
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Pity poor Ed didn’t take elocution in his leftie studies.

  22. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i said before that if Kate Hoey were leader then the coalition would have problems, she works with Boris on something so can reach out to cross section of voters, she i s fairly sane, Wants referendum on EU.

  23. 23
    Engineer says:

    The difference is that Gordoom had hold of the levers of power, and his fiddling with them did serious damage. Ed would be no better if he was let loose with the levers, but he isn’t going to be, so all he can do is rant, wave his arms about and tell badly-timed flat jokes.

  24. 24
    Bawbag Survivor says:

    Devine to pay nothing…..he’s bankrupt!

  25. 25
    Herr Flick says:

    I like Millipede, he’s a powerful reason for voting Tory.

  26. 26
    Baddabing says:

    You are all rejoicing something hollow.

    Ed “turd on a stick” Milliband still polls the same as Dave, because, Ivotelabourcosmedaddid.

    While you still have idiots banging on about Thatcher Milk Snatcher, too fast too soon, and rich snobs who will take away your benefits, the great unwashed, uneducated feral underclass would vote Labour regardless.

    With scores like this, Labour should be dead and buried. I bet if there were an election tomorrow they may win it.

    There is much work still to be done.

    Labour scum will always be labour scum, there is no turning them.

  27. 27
    Hilary Wedgewood-Milliband says:

    If only the poll had included the question do you think our leader is “onto something”

  28. 28
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Unlike at every opportunity when Coulson and NI editorship mentioned, Al-Beeba will always make a special ‘extra’ about Coulson being an ex Comms director for the PM DC!! Cnuts!!

  29. 29
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Bollocks, that cnut retardED had a central role in policy, he is fecking tainted meat!!

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    I understand Churchill vetoed all attempts to assisinate Hitler for the same reason.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Dream on Billy, there’s more chance of Balls crossing the floor!!

  33. 33
    Loungelizard says:

    ‘Leave im Dave e’s not worf it’

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    What did he score for the question ” who thinks DM is a useless twat?

  35. 35

    That is another right-on-the-button comment, Billy. Excellent.

  36. 36
    Engineer says:

    You are a CCHQ staffer, and I claim my £5 plus expenses.

  37. 37
    In the Brown stuff says:

    Gordo should get credit for keeping us out of the €uro, but even Jonathan Powell now agrees that he only took that line to upset Tony, who desperately wanted to join. If Tony had rejected the Euro, Gordon would have been doing his damnedest to get us in.

  38. 38
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Even the loathsome Benn in his usual look-how-open-I-am mode (he learned it from a book on body language) could do nothing but flounder and try to dig himself out of the hole with a few glottal stops. Milliband’s courage in fronting Murdoch — what a joke; Rupe dumped Labour so Ed has nothing to lose. Benn’s endorsement would make me very nervous and inclined to peruse the sits vac.

  39. 39
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    A forceps delivery did most of the damage. Pity they used the bacon tongs.

  40. 40
    a non says:

    50% is probably a fair result.
    The major problem would appe-ar to be the other 50% who at a general election despite not having the ability to speak English, read or write are still capable of marking their ballot paper with an X where and when told to do so.

  41. 41
    a non says:

    50% is probably a fair result.
    The major problem would appe-ar to be the other 50% who at a general election despite not having the ability to spe-ak English, read or write are still capable of marking their ballot paper with an X where and when told to do so.

  42. 42

    Last time I saw some bacon, it was at the top of the legs.

    Fried and Baked Squirrel. Delicious.

  43. 43
    James D says:

    And lower down the graph we learn that 7-8% of Labour voters are so dishonest or delusional that they will agree to any favorable statement about Ed Miliband, even if it’s not remotely defensible, let alone true.

  44. 44
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Some other qualities were sadly not polled such as a cure for insomnia, ability to toe curls at long distance, providing entertainment for those who enjoy watching a slow train crash but can’t predict where one may occur, and of course a source of ear wax. Have I missed any?

  45. 45

    The saddest euphemism for premature ejaculation I have seen.

  46. 46
    smoggie says:

    Again? Well he is an opportunist.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    A third of Labour voters think Ed has either ‘no qualities’ or they “don’t know”.

    Hilarious, but what else is to be expected from a leader whom the party did not want to start with?

  48. 48
    NeverRed says:

    On something perhaps. Wild staring eyes and a strong urge to fly.

  49. 49
    Some Geezer wot thinks whoever said it was pretty smart says:

    Someone will probably look up the source, though I can’t be arsed. Briefly, the proposition was that most politicians are fairly mediocre, due to the self-selection of those who enter electoral politics, and those who go the farthest in politics are those who have preternatural good fortune in who their opponents are, i.e. one doesn’t want Cameron as Prime Minister, but the alternative is Miliband, and one doesn’t even think of just staying home in that situation, so they vote Conservative even though the local MP is a non-entity, or, vying for a Labour/LibDem-held seat, the Tory candidate is a person of half-fast intelligence and/or personal morality. (The US Presidency is supposed to be the shining example of this thesis.)

  50. 50
  51. 51
    NeverRed says:

    Even the LibDems wouldn’t want Balls.

  52. 52
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Ah yes. Well spotted. Contemplation of one’s navel. Bravo! Have a sugar mouse…..

  53. 53

    Don’t be too sure of that. Balls would love to be in power now. Under him billions, nay trillions, more would be spent to create an illusory boom in which the pound would become worth less than one Euro cent.

  54. 54
    Peawit the Third says:


    Mrs Peawit passed by, read this one and burst into spontaneous giggling which is curious as she has no recognisable sense of humour.

    Well played, sir.

  55. 55
    Tachybaptus says:

    The scale of the graph should have been continued up to 100%, to show the ignominiously empty space above 50.

  56. 56
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    To put it succinctly, Milband is the worst of a pretty crapulent bunch of tossers, chancers and frauds.

  57. 57
    rocknrolla says:

    Some pretty non-political and certainly non-partisan mates of mine have expressed to me their surprise at the obvious bias of the BBC over the veto reporting; I think the BBC gets more brazen every year and eventually will piss off a critical mass of people. I dread to think what will happen with BBC coverage if/when President Omaha loses the next election.

  58. 58
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    He’s in touch with his inner trekkie geek.

  59. 59
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Do not at your peril, underestimate Ed Miliband’s ability to destroy the economy.

    His flagship bill in the last government was the utterly ridiculous climate change act, which left the taxpayers of this country with a £780 billion bill ( minimum ) over the next forty years.
    God only knows the catastrophic damage to the economy his hare brained carbon reduction bollocks will cause during that period, should governments be suicidal enough to impliment it fully.

  60. 60
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Quite correct, the Lib-Dim’s are nutless and wish to remain that way.

  61. 61
    Mike Hunt says:

    I can’t see anyone of the Liebour front benches from here…

  62. 62
    Mike Hunt says:

    I was going to add that I hope the next Liebour PM has not yet been born.

  63. 63
    Sungei Patani says:

    We are not in the Euro because John Major negotiated an opt-out for Britain. Gordon Brown maintained the opt-out he had inherited to spite Tony Blair.

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    I hope the next Labour PM’s grandparents have not yet been born.

  65. 65
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Given how bad Labour were at removing the worst PM in living memory, I can’t imagine they’ll be very decisive in removing one of the worst ever leaders of the opposition.

  66. 66
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    and, laughably, the best that Labour can come up with for a leader.

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    The vanishing veto:

  68. 68
    Airey Belvoir says:

    For God’s sake don’t encourage him!

  69. 69
    Tory Realist says:

    Attack Ed? ATTACK ED!!?!

    Are they mad? They can’t attack him! Ed is the coalition’s star player. They must do everything they can to keep him in place. He is the proverbial gift that keeps on giving. Ed MUST stay.

  70. 70
    PrinceTight says:

    Ed Milliband engages in nasal intercourse, but all the time Cameron is shagging him anally.

  71. 71
    Perse O'Nally says:

    He’s about as mad as his father. Deluded twat!

  72. 72
    Perse O'Nally says:


  73. 73
    IPSA says:

    …that’s £5, and expenses of £225, Sir? Yes, Sir, of course, Sir. Would you like a Receipt for that, Sir? We can leave in the amount paid, and leave the date-line and Recipient lines blank. Anything else, Sir? Glad to have been of assistance, Sir! Have a good… well, whatever.

  74. 74
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    What a completely deluded fool this person is…whatever his bleeding name is…

    Jeremy Paxman seems to almost feel sorry for him because he clearly had the opportunity to go for the jugular a few times but seemed to hold back & let the twit do all the damage himself! I mean, seriously, Miliband is the only one who knows what’s best for the country & is the only one who has the courage to do the right thing??? Are you completely frikkin thick? It’s the absolute opposite, and you know it! Miliband is completely in the pocket of the unions, backed the strikes, has no clue at all about how to negotiate with leaders at the top table, has an economic plan which is based solely on borrowing MORE, and has the leadership charisma of a used tampon!
    Cameron, on the other hand, is the one who’s at least TRYING to wean this country off the crack-addict dependeance to the State and its welfare system. He’s the one who’s trying to bring back some semblance of self-determination, accountability, and responsibility. Meanwhile, the absolute morons within Labour are still yapping about idiotic ideas like mandating that corporate Boards should be forced to have a quota of women on the Board, regardless of merit. They don’t have the guts to try and educate their constituents about the basic mathematcis of demography & lengthening lifespans which dictate that we simpy HAVE to raise the retirement age. They don’t have the leadership to try and make people realise that you can no longer expect private sector workers, who have shite pensions or NO pensions, to keep funding the over-generous pensions of the public sector.

    Jeeeezussss…if I ever had to stand up at Speakers Corner and debate against a twat like this, I’d end up being thrown in jail for assault.
    Deluded, absolutely deluded..

  75. 75
    joescotus says:

    we fucking go again ,,the saunders defence tactic . only c^unt in history to be cured of altzeimers
    moran is just a brass necked theiving expenses whore ,bitch deserves at least 5 years worked up her currupt manky hole ,,,,, ahhhh i feel great now.

  76. 76
    joescotus says:

    millitit is a cast iron loser and labour know it

  77. 77
    Colonel Blimp says:

    She must save – she married you!

  78. 78
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    That’s the way to do it CCHQ.

    Take it easy on our Red Ed.

    You never know?

    You might one day end up with Redder Ed!

  79. 79
    Aldo says:

    Labour don’t have the mechanism to remove a crap leader – Kinnock and Brown are living proof of that. They also lack the killer instinct. Ed will still be in place in four years – you can count on it. Then they’ll wonder where it all went wrong – silly twats.

  80. 80
    Rhonddapurple says:

    If Labour’s backroom boys are so potentially diligent in their preparations for summits such as this, how is it that they can’t now say something as simple as either, “Yes, we would have signed up to the Treaty as Europe demanded” or “No, we didn’t like what it entailed, and wouldn’t have signed.”? Benn represents Labour’s thoroughgoing hypocrisy in all its showy glory, as he searches deperately for something irrelevant to say.

  81. 81
    PilgrimsInParis says:

    Vous oubliez Jaques Chirac….

  82. 82
    chris bryant says:

    I ll be your back room boy

  83. 83
    God says:

    Alas, poor Ed!

  84. 84
    Voice of Reason says:

    There’s plenty of time yet for a change in leader. It is to be hoped they stick with Mr Ed otherwise Cameron might have to do something better.

  85. 85
    Rog says:

    When I was a kid, Mr Benn had exciting adventures, and was a decent (albeit fictional and rather 2D) chap all around.

    I’m afraid that this “Hilary” version is a qunty, self-serving, mendacious arse-streak of the first water.

    That is, a typical Leftoid.

    Apologies for my late-onset Tourette’s.

  86. 86
    Really? says:

    Does it involve champagne bottles in the corridors?

  87. 87
    Hi sailors! says:

    A squirrel is merely ‘a rat with good PR’. I did not realise things were quite that bad just yet in Europe!

  88. 88
    Hi sailors! says:

    I think some doctors spend their entire time eating dictionaries.

  89. 89
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    They called Blair Bambi for a long time after he was elected leader.

  90. 90
    Boris's Mum says:

    The people have stopped voting.

    There is hardly any point in putting the show on any more.

    Lets pull the plug on this farce.

  91. 91
    Baddabing says:

    Labour victory with increased vote.

    Ivotelabourcosmedaddid or, I am an asylumseekeronbenefits.


  92. 92
    thatth widuculouth says:

    “Half the country thinks he possess absolutely no qualities worth noting”

    Only half?! No wonder we’re in a mess.

  93. 93
    thatth widuculouth says:

    I think they mean he’s “touched” (and I don’t mean fondled).

  94. 94
    thatth widuculouth says:

    Paxman and the rest of the BBC do not attack Labour. At the most, they make a few easily countered jibes for the sake of appearances.

  95. 95
    thatth widuculouth says:

    Turnout was 28.8%

    71.2% did not support Labour.

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