December 14th, 2011

The Wit and Wisdom of Adam Werritty

With Liam Fox back on the Christmas party scene, his old chum Adam Werritty has popped up in this week’s Speccie, speaking about the whole saga for the first time. Apparently “one man’s ‘clandestine’ meeting is another man’s informed and fascinating discussion”. The whole thing is well worth a read, and there are other gems such as “I’m all for a free press and responsible journalism. But…” Apparently the whole thing was a “storm in a teacup” and  he will spending New Year’s Eve with Liam, and his wife…

Werritty’s side of the story, while interesting, does not really take in the gravity of the situation:

My story starts on an evening in Dubai six months ago when my then girlfriend and I ended up in an American steak house called Ruth’s Chris. Out of the many thousands of eateries in the city, we couldn’t have made a worse choice. Five minutes after we sat down, a British expat businessman named Harvey Boulter arrived on the table opposite us. I’d met him once before, but I had no intention of meeting him on this trip. However, out of politeness I said hello. The rest is history — and a history which I very much regret.

We stayed on after dinner as Boulter wanted to talk to me about Cellcrypt, his mobile phone encryption software technology. When we first met several months earlier, he’d discussed making it available to British troops in Afghanistan, free of charge, to enable them to make free ‘welfare’ calls home. A worthwhile idea, I thought, and one worth supporting. I mentioned to him that I was meeting my friend Liam Fox the next day — he asked if he could talk to Liam about Cellcrypt over a coffee. I passed on his request, and the next day the meeting went ahead. Big mistake. I ought to have left it firmly to official channels to handle. They exist for a reason — specifically, to ensure that full and accurate records of conversations and meetings can be kept.

I’ve been asked on several occasions why I didn’t apply to be a special adviser. The answer: I actually know very little about defence policy and have never pretended otherwise. Why should I be paid by the taxpayer for an expertise I didn’t possess?”

That’s not what it said on his business card…


  1. 1
    Selohesra says:

    I beat Billy

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So he is a con man or full of shit?


  3. 3
    Selohesra says:

    :) :) :)

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh and can anyone tell me what a “Disco” nap is, is it like a power nap?

    Ta :-)

  5. 5
    Quelle Domage says:


    Perhaps in response to the rumours floating around on Twitter of an iminent French downgrade, the country’s foreign minister, Alain Juppe, has said that losing its AAA rating would be bad news but “not a cataclysm”. Speaking to Les Echos he said:

    Quote :”It wouldn’t be good news, but it wouldn’t be a cataclysm either. The United States lost their triple-A and still manage to borrow on the markets in good conditions. “

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Subrosa says:

    Mmm. The man doesn’t even have enough common sense to keep his mouth shut and stop digging a deeper hole for himself.

  8. 8
    Hahahahahahaha........... says:

    Second place Billy what a loser!!!

  9. 9
    Selohesra says:

    Think its a quick kip before going out partying – I did that at my sister-in-laws wedding a few years back unfortunately the 30 mins turned into a solid 8 hours and they had all finished by the time I got back

  10. 10
    Selohesra says:

    With my leather whip & wearing my gimp suit – what else were you expecting?

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Google it says:

    Sounds gay to me.

  13. 13
    oldasiahand says:

    A girl friend – you can’t fool us that way you big poof!

  14. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ta , thought so, have never heard that term before.

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Your giving me the horn :)

  16. 16

    Werritty, I say unto you….

  17. 17
    Special Ed says:

    It’s when you take a nap wearing nothing but a pair of platforms and an afro wig… I can thoroughly recommend it…

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    beware of fake Billy.

  19. 19
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

  20. 20

    Me Impala. Have nice big cocky!

  21. 21
    bent as a nine bob says:

    holes don’t come deeper than Fox’s arsehole

  22. 22
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    Total utter bullshit!

  23. 23
    Polythesis says:

    “I actually know very little about defence policy and have never pretended otherwise.”

    That just about sums up the entire coalition government, they know nothing but what they do have is a dogs nose for money and profit and backhanders and kickbacks, and that is what it is all about. As Fox and his chiseller boy friend may joke, we may know f*ck all about defence of the realm but we do know all about money.

    Its about contacts, who knows who and connecting scumbag corporatists with decision makers for mutual benefit. Its why the MOD buys such crappy equipment and inflated prices or often orders kit they never actually get but spend billions on it.

    Profiteer A goes through middle man B to get to politician C to get a contract worth billions and its kick back city Arizona for those who cut the deals. It doesnt matter to them if the rubbish kit costs soldiers lives, so what? feel the thickness of the brown envelopes, money is a great cure for a guilty conscience.

    The MOD is corrupted and rotten to the core, the politicians who have influence over MOD procurement are HVTs for the legions of professional lobbyists, the billions of pounds the MOD spends is a magnet for the carpet bagger scum of earth, they get away with murder. These criminals should be made to run back and forth across the mine fields of the Falklands until the last mine goes bang, at least they would be doing something useful.

  24. 24
    I don't need no doctor says:

    It’s not like we are brothers.

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If someone tabled a e-petition (num 10 website) and it reached 100k sigs saying the ed Miliband must be kept labour leader, would they have to debate it, and would Ed have to defend himself in the House?

  26. 26
    t says:

    Didn’t think you could share a hotel room unless married, total fabrication.

  27. 27
    jgm2 says:


    It’s the equivalent of showing up in A&E with a lightbulb stuck up your arse and giving it ‘I was changing a light bulb in the nude when…’

    What a fucking dolt.

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:


  29. 29
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  30. 30
    Cell time says:

    Go for it Billy, I’ll sign.

  31. 31
    WVM says:

    I was going to start one asking if McDonald’s would stop putting gherkin slices in their burgers, sure I’d get a 100k+ on that in weeks!

  32. 32
    Blame the parents says:

    Do people still go there? How odd.

  33. 33
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    >Need someone who can spell and all that to do it, and Anonymous(or happy to have there name to it) ?

  34. 34
    Caroline Lucas says:

    I hope that’s a florescent energy saver.

  35. 35
    The Talented Mr Werritty says:

    Yeah, that’s just me all over, doing a favour for an ex-pat I barely know who, in this butterfly effect world, just happens to frequent the same steakhouse, in the same foreign outpost, I decided randomly to patronise of a given day, who just happens to have a product which he thinks my mate the Secretary just might be interested in, if for no other reason than to let our boys and girls in uniform call home. Of course there was no influence peddling on my part; yeah, that’s it, sure, yeah, no influence peddling…

    Well, anyway, that’s my story and I’m gonna stick to it, see?

  36. 36
    Sarkozy's Investors says:

    Crédit Agricole is writing off €2.5bn in bad debts, cutting 2,350 jobs and withdrawing from 21 countries.

  37. 37
    Some Geezer wot would actually tune in to see says:

    Which brings up the interesting question: Which side would argue for, and which against?

  38. 38
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Labour would have too back Ed Miliband and the tories would as well, but the debate would be far more intresting, well i think so.

  39. 39
    Caroline Lucas MP says:

    I off set my gases by wearing 60k denier tights :)

  40. 40
    The Oliver Letwin, letting a stranger use his bathroom in the middle of the night awards says:

    Its neck and neck for this years award and its currently between Werrittys piss poor tale and James Murdochs” oh Ive suddenly remembered I did get those e mails but I only glanced at them” excuse.

  41. 41
    The Foreign Secretary says:

    “Cough !”

  42. 42
    WVM says:

    Yes they do and the pavements outside their establishments are covered in slimy green gherkin slices, it seems no one likes them but they still put ‘em in.

  43. 43
    t says:

    With ‘members’ of the opposite sex!

  44. 44
    Ron Davies. Can't get elected to fuck all these days. says:

    Not forgetting ‘badger watching’. Although that was a few years ago.

  45. 45
    Nemo says:

    That leaves young Billy out then

  46. 46
    Well it's a thought says:

    Are you using a magnifying glass to see what’s on the bun and contents or is your eyesight ok.

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    It’d be hilarious. It would be like the T*ries getting their revenge for Labour lumping them with Bercow.

    Ha! You think Bercow is funny? How about this – we want Labour to have Ned Miliband as party leader. He’s more of an asset (to us) as Labour Party Leader just as Bercow is a Labour asset as sp*eaker.

  48. 48
    Nemo says:

    they were “just good friends” a quote from nearly 50 years ago

  49. 49
    Adam Werrity says:

    I’m all for a free press and responsible journalism. But not for very important Scottish businessmen like me, who have to meet up with the very important Dr Liam Fox three times per week, for very important meetings. I might look a bit shifty but I’ve broken no laws. All hush-hush MOD stuff y’see, so can’t say much about flying around the world on very important business, in 4 star Florida restaurants with very important American generals..

  50. 50
    Nemo says:

    Yes Willy?

  51. 51
    Not that I give a fuck ♥ says:

  52. 52
    Nemo says:

    You would not be able to share a hotel room with another man in Arab countries( excluding lifts)

  53. 53
    Nemo says:

    You don’t say?

  54. 54
    Nemo says:

    Don’t you mean Squeaker

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    No doubt Mrs Fox will be making the tea and holding the camcorder…

  56. 56
    Nemo says:

    Foxy “I was just sitting down to eat my meal, and this young man came over, you will understand, I didn’t know this young man was in the same country, fancy, staying in the same hotel as me saying he wanted to introduce this man who I did not personally know”

  57. 57
    Really really really says:

    It seems that Peter Hain has fallen in love with Dave. He tweets are sick-making.

  58. 58
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Neon tube, probbly.

  59. 59
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Form a single-issue political party. It’d make just as much sense as the Limp Dummies, and add to the … er … light-heartedness of the nation.

  60. 60
    Anonymous, SW1 says:

  61. 61
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    She’s not called “Fluffer” for nothing.

  62. 62
    Really really really says:

    Not Dave FFS …..ED

  63. 63
    Badger Brock says:

    I think Dave needs to have a word with Caroline Spellman not content with selling off forests she is now going to kill the badgers.

    She certainly knows how to attract controversy.

  64. 64
    Save the Badger says:

    I’ve a badger set on my land and no way will I let the ministry badger killer have access.

    Said on the news the slaughter won’t start until after the Olympics so there are enough cops around to cope with protests. Well it won’t be the usual suspects this time.

  65. 65
    Dave says:

    FFS! Fucking Tory party’s rammed full of arse bandits. Thank god there’s always Gideon, me and Nick.

  66. 66
    BillyBob... says:

    Three in the bed and the little one said, ” Roll over”……

  67. 67
    BillyBob... says:

    Too late…. damage already done !!

  68. 68
    Tristram Smallbore-Ffipps MP says:

    Bugger….so that’s what happened to them.

  69. 69
    Tristram Smallbore-Ffipps MP says:

    Werritty is an utter bounder. Suggesting people should not be paid for expertise they do not possess. The cad is trying to undermine the very foundations of westminster.

  70. 70

    Wonder what Jimmy does for his Christmas party?

    And then there is Hogmanay. Last year I heard he spent it in England. He came with clean underwear and a £20 note. When he got home, he hadn’t changed either of them.

    Happy Christmas, Jimmy! ;-)

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    “I actually know very little about defence policy”

    Sounds like a typical self-appointed defence consultant.

  72. 72
    The Office of Guido Fawkes says:

    Thank you for taking part.
    You may now safely close this window. We have received your submission and will inform you if you are successful. Good luck!

    The only problem,Billy,is that th ecaption competiton is not until Friday.

  73. 73
    Tristram Smallbore-Ffipps MP says:

    Or do what civilised society does. Get the driver to scrape the pavement before he opens the door for you to get out, and give him a jolly good thrashing if he misses a slice.

  74. 74
    Tristram Smallbore-Ffipps MP says:

    But surely Bonkers Johnson gets an honourable (or dishonourable) mention for his latest excuse to his wife “the doctor told me to get more exercise”.

  75. 75
    Spot the Dog in the Afro Wig says:


  76. 76
    Engineer says:

    Well that’s one way of flashing, I suppose.

  77. 77
    Charlotte Hale is Emma Reynold's Nazi fanny sponge!! says:

    Adam Werritty should resign immediately! He is a complete Nazi!!!!

  78. 78
    Engineer says:

    “…The Christmas party scene..”

    That must be one hell of a drag round the Westminster village. Night after night of being outwardly jolly with all the other backbenchers, lobby hacks, dodgy lobbyists, researchers and general hangers-on that you live amongst for the other 11 months of the year. Trying to avoid the junior reporter you tried unsuccessfully to shag last year whilst ‘tired and emotional’. Trying to avoid the backbencher who tried to shag you last year whilst even more ‘tired and emotional’. Being cornered in a pub by a raving Europhile for a two-hour run-down of Barroso’s brilliance and the need for technocratic rule. Your sole consolation the growing pile of exaggerated receipts in your inside pocket, expense claims for the bulking out of.

    Some will take things to excess. Tom Watson probably won’t sober up ’till about Valentine’s Day. (He should mind his step – there will be NI photographers following him almost everywhere.)

    Ah – the Westminster social scene. They’re welcome to it.

  79. 79
    In other media news says:

    I think his figures are up on last time – but still bottom

    VIEWERS NITE OF 12/12/11

    FOXNEWS O’REILLY 3,271,000
    FOXNEWS HANNITY 2,168,000
    FOXNEWS BAIER 2,030,000
    CMDY DAILY SHOW 1,642,000
    FOXNEWS GRETA 1,440,000
    CMDY COLBERT 1,281,000
    MSNBC SCHULTZ 877,000
    MSNBC SHARPTON 830,000
    MSNBC HARDBALL 797,000
    MSNBC MADDOW 722,000
    CNNHN GRACE 696,000
    CNN COOPER 634,000
    CNN PIERS MORGAN 604,000

  80. 80
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Free booze tho, tis why Guido and Neo Guido go :-)

  81. 81
    jgm2 says:

    Who is this O’Reilly, this Hannity, Baier, Greta etc etc. Who are these people? The only one I recognise is that prick Piers Morgan in dead last place.

    He must be really sh*it.

  82. 82
    Engineer says:

    What’s the population of the USA? About 250 million?

    None of those viewing figures show very high penetration, do they? Maybe Americans have more sense than to vegetate in front of the goggle-box.

  83. 83
    Engineer says:

    I didn’t think badgers needed saving. Their numbers seem to have increased markedly over the last couple of decades. (Partly explaining why hedgehog numbers have declined significantly.)

    It won’t endanger them to bump a few off.

    (PS – They need long, slow cooking. So I’m told.)

  84. 84
    GOrdON says:

    I recommend he takes a plastic bag filled with some bricks with a few empty cans on top to a bring a bottle party.

  85. 85
    jgm2 says:

    On a day when Cameron must have thought it couldn’t get any better after handing Ned Miliband his arse on a plate could we all just stop and thank Bob Crow for reminding all the voters of London to vote T*ry.

  86. 86
    gay at the weekends only says:

    Is the arse free too?

  87. 87
    jgm2 says:

    Tom Watson’s best defence for being an unmitigated arsehole is to claim that he’s completely p!55ed 24/7. If his pantomime Perry Mason performance in front of Leveson is how he behaves when he’s sober he must be utterly fucking excruciatingly embarrassing when he’s dr*u*nk. The David Brent of politics.

  88. 88
    jgm2 says:

    I think it’s more like 300 million these days. But when you add all those figures together they’re of the order of 15 million. So a fair bit of potential influence. Percentage-wise though they cannot compare to the strangle-hold the BBC exercises over ‘the message’ broadcast into UK homes – thanks to the unique way in which it’s funded.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    At least those who are watching it aren’t subsidising a marxist propaganda mouthpiece.

  90. 90
    Engineer says:

    You’re just jealous ‘cos you’re not a hick from the sticks like me.

  91. 91
    Engineer says:

    Q. How can you tell if a girl is wearing tights or stockings?

    A. If her ankles swell up when she breaks wind, she’s wearing tights.

  92. 92
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    Is Adam Werrity based on Harry Enfield’s Tim Nice-but-Dim?

    Or maybe Marcus Brigstocke’s Giles Wemmbley-Hogg?

    I suspect he’s actually being played by Alistair McGowan.

  93. 93
    Vicki Vermin, the pest you can't control. says:

    So who is going to win X Facta? I is votin for dat crap. Chavtastic tunes.

  94. 94
    A. Knuckledragger says:

    Probably see a dead badger in the middle of the road once a week in Warwickshire…..never see any car parts strewn across the road though….odd that ! ;-)

  95. 95
    DCI Brian Lane, ret. says:

    It’s not so much how many are watching when it comes to cable TV as who it is that’s doing the watching, as the conventional wisdom goes. The numbers are compiled this way:

    Thank you again Wikipedia for helping me be less of a boring anorak. As they say, the cheque is in the mail.

  96. 96
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    The Pikey is on another of his gay hate campaigns

  97. 97
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I hear Werrity liked to rest his pork sword in Liam’s mouth.

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