December 14th, 2011

Heads in the Sand at Labour HQ

The role of Deputy Party Chairman seems to be forcing Tom Watson further and further from the reality based community. When he’s not paying special close attention to candidate selection, he’s in full spin mode. With the Tories regaining the lead with every major pollster, today was going to be a tricky one, but you can’t fault him for his effort:

Careful you don’t get splinters while you scrape that barrel Tommy…


  1. 1
    Special Ed says:

    Even for Watson, this is a new low…

    • 2
      Special Ed says:

      Woo hoo! First! (Hanging my head in shame now.)

      • 7
        La' says:

        HEY! TOM!! – when are you going to go after The Guardian for printing made up stories?

        • 27
          BillyBob... says:

          These people could not lie straight in bed !

          • W.Hague says:

            Fawkes you c unt, I invested all our savings – me and the special advisor’s – in gold, following your advice, and filled the spare room full of Tesco value baked beans tins – we share the master bedroom.

            Now our gold is down 20% in six months and the weight of all the beans has broken the joists. You fucking c unt. If we ever catch up with you we’ll bum you to death you fat cocksucker.

          • ooh la la says:

            ‘When he’s not paying special close attention to candidate selection’


            Trust Guido to B right on.

          • Engineer says:

            Did you chech the ‘best before’ date on the beans?

            May be best to sell the beans and eat the gold. At least your sh!t will be worth something.

        • 75
          jgm2 says:

          I suspect the Grauniad is more worried that several hundred now unemployed journalists will take ‘em to court for loss of earnings.

          Which would be hilarious.

          • Engineer says:

            The Grauniad may also be worried that several hundred unemployed journalists may get their mates to publish various stories they’ve been sitting on.

    • 6
      Selohesra says:

      How low can you get? – I think a Jack Russell is the reply

    • 17
      rocknrolla says:

      If Labour retain Miliband as leader and if CastIron can get across to the public that he wants our budget being set by unelected Europeans then you can expect a pretty large majority victory for the Conservatives at the next election.

    • 62
      Have a Heart says:

      What else can he do? He’s been dealt a terrible hand.

    • 118
      more old and tired than whom or what? says:

      Will no-one teach this oaf some Enlgish grammar?

  2. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think you will find it is Labour out of touch, on Deficit, On europe and on honesty.

    • 8
      Rick Limerfuck says:

      Labour, in any sane world, should remain unelectable for the foreseeable future.

      • 10
        Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

        Is that a proper limerick, dear?

        • 24
          Rick Limerfuck says:

          We all have to read Elsie Beattie
          Who may have escaped from the DT.
          She posts mainly crap
          That fills out the pap.
          Your great auntie LC is neat, E.

        • 39
          Selohesra says:

          Elsie likes to call people dear
          She’s forgotten their real name I fear
          Its tough when your’re old
          Do try not to get cold
          By taking a warming shag right up the rear

        • 43
          annette curton says:

          Red Ed went to bed with Mr Crow
          Skinner said winner
          and Homer?… Doh!

        • 56
          Special Ed says:

          Elsie, dear. That’s not you on the ads is it?

        • 73
          Special Ed says:

          There once was a sailor called Watson
          Career heading for jetsam and flotsam
          Romped in Brighton with glee
          Credibility at sea
          His bullsh1t increasingly tiresome

          • Ingrish Mishtresh says:

            Your final line should read:
            But at least the fat bugger got some.

            There, Fixed it for you.

  3. 4
    Well it's a thought says:

    Scraping the barrel, I think he has problems holding onto the barrel.

    • 9
      Loungelizard says:

      I think he is the barrel.

      • 36
        Ungrateful and not quite dead says:

        If those bastards get back we’ll all be living in barrels. Ed Millibean is doing a fantastic job for Cameron long may it continue. The Comrades will wake up after 2 or 3 Gen. Election defeats but not before. At least poor old Foot had Maggie to contend with and gave a better showing than Millibean, plus he could actually speak.

    • 37
      Boing says:

      Niagara Falls ahead.

      • 44
        Special Ed says:

        Have Morricone’s ‘Theme from the Mission’ stuck in my head as I read that. That would be the most beautiful sight in the world… Bye Tom…… Weeeee… Splash!

  4. 5
    Peter Grimes says:

    Is Tom Watson the gross slob who may well have published Mad Al Campbell’s Leveson text?

    Puts himself about a bit, doesn’t he.

    To little effect, mind.

  5. 11
    annette curton says:

    I’m OLD AND TIRED, of incessant bullshit and I’m only six.

  6. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    Now is the timeto sell off your hoards of gold,I know I will !!!

    Gold 1,605.80 -57.30 -3.45%

    No stopping the slump

  7. 13
    Special Ed says:

    Did anyone see him on ‘Have I Got News?’ He came out fighting but shut up as soon as his expenses were mentioned. Ouch…

    • 41
      SpAd says:

      Watson got f*cking creamed. Appeared to think he’d be revered as the Murdoch-slayer, but was just exposed as a sleazy hypocrite by Hislop.

    • 66
      Fish says:

      Never heard a dickie-bird from him after about 10 mins.

      Perhaps it was because he was old and tired – or he was out of his depth without his speech writer McBride there to prompt him.

    • 100
      They're all Shite says:

      Yeh what had Hislop done wrong to have that fat greasy lying whelk on his side?

  8. 14
    Anonymous says:

    More odd is that he’s trying to groom children on his page and call it a spoof:

  9. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  10. 18
    Raving Loon says:

    This is like winning an award in a really niche category.

  11. 19
    Confused says:

    Is it me or has anyone else noticed the more these idiots crash and burn the more they claim to be rising in popularity.

    They seem to be in a parallel universe!!

    They must never be allowed near the levers of power ever again!!

  12. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Keep your mouth shut,Fawkes,for fucks sake !!!

    U.S. stocks retreated, sending the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index lower for a third straight day, as Right Wing political blogger,Guido Fawkes said there’s no easy and fast solution to the euro-region sovereign debt crisis.

    • 34
      Meerkat-Teacosy solution says:

      Impose an annual levy of 1.5 million euros per household in the 17-state eurozone for starters. Naturally do not bother them with a referendum.
      Market would see an instant bungee bounce.

  13. 23
    Tom Watson says:

    Hey, look! A passing straw! Quick, grab it!

    • 30
      Jack Straw says:

      Leave me the fuck alone!

    • 103
      JH says:

      You’re a bit wider than a straw, Tom.

      I saw you on the news last night. I thought the cat had walked over the remote and switched to ‘Fat sweaty twats Roy Orbison look-a-like-a-thon’ on channel 697.

  14. 25
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    Im just curious, will this fat, ugly fuck go after the liars at the Guardian over the made up story re Millie Dowler’s deleted voicemails??…………..

    • 42
      Jimmy says:

      Yes, more stuff about NoW hacking. That’s the way to go.

      I see even over on the Speccie McKenzie’s attempts to spin this are going down lik a lead a lead balloon.

      • 52
        Engineer says:

        Even Lord Justice Levity has noticed that there may be a small flaw in the Watson approach. Seems he has asked for the events surrounding the deleting voice-mail messages on Millie Dowler’s phone to be clarified.

        • 69
          Jimmy says:

          It seems they weren’t directly deleted but only indirectly as a result of the hacking. The argument that somehow this makes the Screws look better is not one I’ve been able to follow. Perhaps the digger’s main cheerleader can explain.

          • Engineer says:

            The position is a little incomplete, but the following facts seem to have emerged.

            1) Mulcaire was not tasked by anybody at the NOTW to ‘hack’ Dowler’s phone until several days after her disappe@rance, and after messages on it had been deleted.
            2) The phone company believes that her phone was set to automatically delete messages after 72 hours.
            3) It is not clear if anybody else accessed Dowler’s phone before messages deleted automatically.

            The original Grauniad article is therefore inaccurate. The true sequence of events has not yet been clarified: Leveson has asked that it is.

          • jgm2 says:

            Well an argument could be made by those unemployed NoW journalists that it was this Grauniad lie that turned public opinion so much against them that their proprietor was forced to close the newspaper. And there’d be more than a grain of truth in that. Nobody apart from the luvvies and politicians who’d had their embarrassing secrets printed were too bothered about how the NoW was coming by the information. Legal or otherwise.

            It was the Grauniadnews lies, repe*ated all over the other papers and BBC, that the NoW had been accessing and deleting Millie Dowler’s messages that brought the show down.

            I’d say the Grauniad legal team will be more than nervous at the moment.

          • Jimmy says:

            One small omission. I understand the phone was set to delete messages automatically only if they had been accessed. This was what led the parents to believe that their child was still alive. The idea that somehow this makes the grauniad the bad guy now is staggeringly delusional.

          • jgm2 says:

            The Grauniad is the ‘bad guy’ if, as a result of their lies, you’re now an unemployed journalist.

            No doubt they’ll claim it was an honest mistake and perhaps it was but then they do print all manner of bollocks from Toynbee And Monbidiot as if they were fact too so it might have been deliberate misinformation just as much of their reportage is.

          • Jimmy says:

            Perhaps the Digger should go back to the Dowlers and retract his apology. What do you think?

          • jgm2 says:

            Perhaps the Dowlers should give the Digger his cash back if it turns out the Grauniad lied. What do you think?

          • Jimmy says:

            You should write to him and suggest that.

            I must admit I didn’t believe it was humanly possible to get further up Murdoch’s sphincter than Guido, but I think you’ve nailed it.

          • JH says:

            Our resident leftie apologist seems to have a very high post rate on this issue.

            I’d say the Naurgiad are sh*tting themselves on that evidence alone.

          • jgm2 says:

            @JH. Just petulant whining from a Labour apologist who cannot get over the fact that Murdoch D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D the ‘parteh’. You can picture him five years ago actively down-playing any suggestion of phone-hacking lest it disturb NI’s ‘good work’ on behalf of the ‘parteh’. He was hereabouts last week whining about Iraq being a splendid idea too. He got his arse handed to him then too. He’s probably in the employ of one T. Blair. At least I hope he’s getting paid for his risible cheerleading of the indefensible.

            Poor chap. Spent ten years up Murdoch’s arsehole and is now feeling the cold.

    • 101
      Eeverly Bros says:

      Dream, Dream, Dream…………….Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream

  15. 26
    Evil Landlord says:

    Wasnt it his old Leader Gordon Brown who proudly announced in the Commons there had been 0% growth ? FFS 0% = no growth

  16. 28
    Evil Landlord says:

    sorry it was a 0% rise rather than 0% growth


  17. 31
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    that is beyone pathetic – ridiculous study and look a whole 1%. McRuin presumably was nowhere to be about again – claiming a wage when hes basically retired – if he was there the result would be Conservative 1% Labour 99%.

    • 40
      jgm2 says:

      Brown’s face would explode if he had to sit through the abuse that a PMQ session would draw on him. Can you imagine – every single answer would be of the form

      ‘Thanks to the disastrous economic policies of the previous administration under the member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…’

      The gutless wa*nk*er would have a fucking stroke. He had the experience once from Dan Hannan where he had to sit there and take it and he didn’t like it one bit. He’s the classic bully. He can hand it out but he can’t take it at all.

      Still, he’s having his revenge on an ungrateful British public. Taking the 65K plus expenses and doing fuck all. Although doing fuck all is probably safer than him actually interfering. We’ve all seen the results when the jackass tries to look busy.

      • 45
        Loungelizard says:

        Would be good. He’d have that sick smirk on his face,the one where you know there’s a maelstrom of boiling shit surging through his brain, he hates you but he’s just got to sit there and take it!!

      • 55
        smoggie says:

        Shame he did not stay in Fife those 13 years. The UK would be better off for it.

      • 70
        I can't hear you, la la la la la says:

        Devalued PM of a devalued government.
        Surely, of a devalued party?

  18. 35
    jgm2 says:

    Compared to Nasal Ned Miliband in his short trousers everybody looks old and tired.

  19. 48
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The papers reported that Cameron refused to even go to the toilet, holding a full bladder for 9 hours during talks in Brussels last week

    Here’s why

  20. 49
    Gordon Brown says:

    But I told you earlier (see my post number 12) to get out of gold.

    Gold 1,586.70 -76.40 -4.59%

    There is no buying going on out there

  21. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I sort of feel sorry for Labour supporters, no seriously i do.

    Ed Miliband nuff said.

  22. 51
    1 down 26 to go says:
    • 60
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Ally number one !

      as 90% of Sweden does not want the Euro they know they have no chance of ever getting this past their parliament !

      Dave , Expect a phone call !

      • 61
        Selohesra says:

        I was chatting to a couple of Irish directors who sit on the boards of our funds & they seemed quite keen on the idea of Ireland dumping € and not going back to punt but returning to days of linking to pound – It won’t happen but Sarkozy’s face would be a picture if it did

      • 64
        The lights are going out all over Europe....5 Days and the great plan is unravelliing says:

        The Irish are also saying that they cannot agree a Financial Transactions Tax either whilst the UK doesn’t;the Czech Parliament is unlikely to ratify;The Dutch may have to put it to a referendum and even in France the Opposition Presidential Candidte has stated on the record that if elected he will refuse to ratify the Treaty even if its agreed

        • 72
          jgm2 says:

          Merkel is winding her neck in too…

          Tee hee. Dave gets the poll bounce for telling the EU where to go and they all come crawling back trying to ingratiate themselves.

          Isolated? Hahahahaha.

          Miliband really is S*h*i*t isn’t he?

        • 77
          Fish says:

          Where Cameron leads others eventually follow it now seems. Makes Milliband and the BBC look particularly silly with their ‘isolation’ jibes.

          The truth is; for Britain to be at the ‘top table’ of EU financial decision making, we would have to join the Euro. Milliband can’t even make his mind up about that.

          • jgm2 says:

            Aye. Cameron will be able to spin this as Britain leading and setting the agenda in Europe. And, the best bit is, it didn’t cost us a penny extra. This will totally blow the bed-wetters brains of course since their idea of ‘negotiation’ is to give ‘em whatever they ask for. And accept fuck all in return.

    • 65
      annette curton says:

    • 74
      Sarkozy's Investors says:

      I see the Paris CAC 40 has dropped through the 3000 barrier today.

      • 85
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        French banks hold most of the Greek and Italian debt
        Half of their banks will go “tits up” if there is a default
        that is why “Le Gnome” and “Frau Flop” are so fucking desperate to drag everybody else down with them
        If they all went down together it’s a collective fail , If someone jumps ship A La Cameron ,it shows someone had the brains not to take part ,and i think will have investors flocking to pull their money an stick it here !

        • 94
          jgm2 says:

          Indeed. Exactly the option we should have taken when Greenspan was destroying the US economy. But no. The Maximum Imbecile just used Greenspan as cover.

          ‘Look – the Ame*ri*cans are doing it too so I must be doing OK. If he’s going to flood the economy with borrowed cash then so can I. What could possibly go wrong?’

          Then, when it all went tits up the despicable c*unt had the sheer gall to blame the US. Spent ten years using them as justification for his imbecile economic policy and then has the nerve to blame them. Like they made him do it.

          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

            It’s no wonder the nappy wearing , drug addled , nutcase hasn’t been seen !

        • 107
          Did somebody mention France? says:

  23. 57
    jgm2 says:

    Tom Watson’s publicity stunt
    Again showed the man is a c*unt
    Who is he kidding?
    He lies for a living.
    And his face still begs to be thumped.

  24. 58
    Some Geezer wot would find it funny if it weren't so true says:

    Do you ever get the feeling Tommy-boy watched Yes Minister as a boy and thought it was a serious how-to?

    Evidence: Hacker: elected from a Birmingham-area constituency, party man to a fault, not so much stupid as too ambitious, prone to bad publicity from overzealousness, hence way too concerned about his public image;

    Watson: (as with Hacker).

    Does he have enough self-awareness to go along with his self-absorption?

  25. 63
    jgm2 says:

    I believe the positive spin for ‘old and tired’ is ‘experienced’. This is certainly ‘no time for a novice’ like Nasal Ned.

  26. 67
    Tony Bliar is a CUNT..... says:

    Tom you are a thicker fat F.U.C.K.I.N W.A.N.K.E.R than given credit for……….

  27. 78
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    I always thought George Galloway was top of the pops when it came to descpicable Huntitude, but I’m thinking this Watson douchenbochen may have pipped him to the post…right up there with Ken Livingstone.

    • 80
      jgm2 says:

      George Galloway may be a self-publicising jackass but I have to give the man great credit for getting on the plane to Washington and giving their Senate both fucking barrels over Iraq. Watson, on the other hand, is only comfortable in the show-trial environment when he’s the one asking ze questions.

      • 84
        BigBbrother says:

        You are right there. Galloway is an odd man: someone you would never leave in charge of anything important or take advice from, but he has his entertainment value.

  28. 81
    Tony Soprano says:

    So now ya got this Two Ton Tom Watson running his face like a checchiarone about how the the Tories are old and tired– this fat lump gets tired just gettin’ up an’ goin’ to the fridge for another snack! He’s even fatter than my late brothernlaw Baccala, may he RIP, and that takes some doin’!

    Also, I didn’t like him talkin’ about Mafia bosses– WTF does he know about such things? He wouldn’t know a Mafia boss if the guy went upside his head wit’ a ball bat; this from a guy who tries to appear tough and thinks he is, in the words of a political science prof I had in my one year at Seton Hall University, the eminence greasy of the Labour Party.

    (By the way, us paisans here in New Jersey pronounce it “Gweedo”.)

  29. 91
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The Iceberg is approaching , and already the Swedes are slipping quietly into
    the life boats

    and also Germany’s second largest bank is asking for a second bail out

  30. 92
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Tom Watson, I have two very simple questions for you.

    Why did labour lose over 100 seats at the last election?

    Why did Ed Miliband give you the role as Deputy Party Chairman?

  31. 104
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    When are the fecking BBC going to forced to make some cuts
    just watched North West Tonight 5 presenters
    Next up The One Show at least 3 in studio
    after that is That’s Britain 4 presenters
    Just their salaries alone will be well over a million quid
    absolutely ridiculous !

  32. 108
    Tom Watson is Charlotte Hale's new boyfriend! says:

    Has Emma Reynolds sacked Nazi Charlotte yet?!

  33. 109
    pale, stale and male says:

    more importantly when will we get Fox-standard totty on our screens? I’m fed up with the choice of micing gayboys and plug uglyGuardian/BBC harridans that infest UK media.

  34. 111
    Voice of Reason says:

    He’s not heavy – he’s my brother.

  35. 112
    Charlotte Hale - Chair PERSON - Wolverhampton University Young Nazi Club! says:

    I fuck Tom everyday, and have seriously fucked Emma Reynolds up the ass this week!

  36. 113
    Voice of Reason says:

    Sorry, here’s the correct version:

    The road is long
    With many a winding turn
    That leads us to who knows where
    Who knows where
    But I’m strong
    Strong enough to carry him
    He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
    So on we go
    His welfare is of my concern
    No burden is he to bear
    We’ll get there
    For I know
    He would not encumber me
    He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

  37. 114
    A Fat Hypocrite says:

    Jog On Fat Mong!

  38. 115
    The Salad Bar says:

    Labour is looking desperate.

  39. 117
    The Salad Bar says:

    Fatson thinks he is a hero for taking on the Murdochs. Everyone knows Fatson is just a hypocritical vindictive fat c’unt who blames the Murdochs for Labours defeat. The Labourite Murdoch Hate Campaign is unravelling. The hypocritical Labour c’unts are going to have to relocate and live on moon when the Murdochs stick rockets up their arses. Hypocrisy.

  40. 120
    Margaret Beckett says:

    I am the true face of Labour and I am off to the knackers yard. I have been put out to grass. Neigh!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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