December 13th, 2011

Miliband’s Amateur Grid

Credit where credit is due, so kudos to Sam Coates of the Times for getting hold of Ed’s media grid for this week. Much has been said about the amateur feel of Miliband’s media operation, but nobody had quite realised how bad it was until the written proof emerged. The same message is hammered everyday without deviation, but with plenty of repetition. An opposition needs more than one vacuous, non-costed, promise a day. Only a handful of faces are allowed a look in, though Guido is looking forward to who the “weekend guests” might be.

One thing that did amuse was the assumption that Labour will win on Thursday’s Heathrow airport by-election. The visit is already planned in for the next day. It somewhat undermines the whole “every vote counts, not taking anything for granted” message. An all round PR disaster. 


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least Tony was good at spin.

    • 4
      Super Zuffle says:

      And lying

      • 223
        Anonymous says:

        … at least he did not steal other peoples lines, or go off in a huff when somebody tore him a new one

    • 6
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      Bring back my blank sheet of paper….

      • 58
        the madcap laughs says:

        Journalists, politicians, political bloggers and bottom-feeders will talk about/at themselves until the cows come home.

        It’s what Britain does best. Personally, I wish they would get into something real.

    • 54
      Conservation is in... says:

      All parties go thru amateurish phases. Having said that the world is going conserv….ative.

    • 199
      Qui Bono says:

      Parliament on thursday for Ed?

      DCMS Orals Same sex marriages ??????? Check it out.

    • 317
      Is jgm2 a Papist intent on the dissolution of the UK? says:

      So let me get this right, all the lib dums abstain yet still we get a 60 odd majority supporting Cameron. Thats a good result in anyones ( except the BBC) language.

  2. 2
    Rat's arse says:

    Why oh why do some people take Millitwit seriously? It beggers belief.

  3. 3
    Terry Torial says:

    Come on Billy

  4. 5
    Passenger does what we've all wanted to do says:

    The video has become an internet hit. Good on him.

    • 15
      Nicholas Ridley (deceased) says:

      I can see Big Man getting locked up and the fuckwit student collecting £100K from Scottish Rail for infringement of Human Rights. Sad but likely

    • 22
      Jimmy says:

      Put him in charge of taxdodgers.

      • 45
        Chuka Umunna says:

        Good idea – you might even get me to pay up.

      • 48
        AC1 says:

        Why not just change the tax system to not punish success and be un-dodgable?

        LVT; it’s advocated by Capitalists and hated by Malthusians.

        • 106
          Jimmy says:

          Has tended to be hated by tories too. I agree it’s worth another look.

          • Dr Fuckwit says:

            The French typified by de Gaulle have never forgiven us for liberating them from Hitler. Their self loathing finds its expression in a hatred for their saviours, the British. Suffering from Stockholm Syndrome they now embrace their former oppressors. Its that simple.

          • The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

            In 1966 upon being told that President Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated off French soil President Lyndon Johnson mentioned to Secretary of State Dean Rusk that he should ask DeGaulle about the Americans buried in France. Dean implied in his answer that that DeGaulle should not really be asked that in the meeting at which point President Johnson then told Secretary of State Dean Rusk:

            “Ask him about the cemeteries Dean!”

            That made it into a Presidential Order so he had to ask President DeGaulle.

            So at end of the meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II.

            DeGaulle, embarrassed, got up and left and never answered.

          • joescotus says:

            tbft i like that little story sums up the french to a tee all fucking mouth & no balls the bastards

  5. 7
    Demetrius says:

    Fri 16 EM Visit. I come not to bury Labour but to praise it.

  6. 8
    What a plonker. says:

    Millitwat the man who just keeps on giving . Thank you ,thank you.

  7. 9

    I might “fly in” to lend my support. Should help the boyo-band no end, eh?

    • 14
      Well it's a thought says:

      Oh yeh!, oh yeh!, oh yeh!, fck that waters cold.

    • 219
      'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

      Ahh miss you Neal….

      • 232
        joescotus says:

        if ever a useless arse hole deserved a ginormous boot up said arse hole this fucking useless eu carpetbagging , expenses thieving ,play the system “mi wife glinnis has been rock steady buy mi side in the great struggle for social ,,,, fuck and die ya windfilled welsh c*unt

  8. 10
    Jimmy says:

    Yes he’s really taking a punt on that one isn’t he?

    Looks like Dave Gimmick is predicting the same result given his support for his candidate there.

    • 12
      Evie Lennon says:

      Jimmy petal, there’s only one politician who deserves the middle name of ‘gimmick’.

    • 82
      Archer Karcher says:

      Of course Ed Bandwagon would not even contemplate for one moment any such behaviour. Why no, he is of such high moral standing that he would never stoop to using de*ad children or cancer sufferers as political pawns to suit his attack lines.

  9. 11
    MrAngry61 says:

    Oh crap – Saturday is the “International Migrants Day Occupy London Rally” – God only knows what RedEd’s interest is in migrants acting up, other than promising them the Earth to vote Labour…

  10. 16
    Boy Mulcaster says:

    Millbean will be a sobbing wreck on election night May 2015 as his brother puts the knife in along with what is left of the Labour Party. He makes Kinnock almost look good.
    Dave will be sorry to see him go

    • 19
      Credit Where It Is Due says:

      But how does he rate compared to Michael Foot?

      • 21
        Popeye says:

        Foot was inches taller, even in a donkey jacket.

        • 31
          Selohesra says:

          Foot had principals which he stood by – albeit wrongly. Miliband has no principles and is just opportunist. (note two different spellings of p word to hedge my bets)

          • Grumpy Old Man says:

            The first P is the head of an institution, the second P is a fundamental moral moral belief, Happily for Socialists, they are devoid of such things. Living on the public teat is not a principle.

          • The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

            Foot’s principles extended to taking money from the Soviets. Oleg Gordievsky the KGB man in London handed over dosh and said so in his book. The NOTW printed this and Foot sued them for libel. Sadly, Foot did not go as far as to sue Gordievsky’s publisher. Hmmm, I wonder why?

          • UK Fred says:

            The first is also the word one would use to describe the people who put the money up for his venture, otherwise known as his backers. Do you mean Foot stood by his backers? Who were they and what policies did he adopt to suit which backers.

  11. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Ed Who ?

  12. 34
    chinky bear keeper says:

    kinda feeling sorry for ed … still a knut though … just a very sad pathetic one

  13. 35
    Pagan apostacy says:

    Well it saves him from his responsibilities in Doncaster. I think he’s been there once.

    Perhaps he’s got a view on the ‘progressive’ move to eliminate the shield of St George from the ‘branding’ of the parish church that has borne that emblem since the middle ages. Now no Cross of Christ, nor E=nglish flag, nor Shield of the patron Saint of E-ngland marks the church of Saint George of the Church of En=gland, in Engl-and

    • 184
      The Paragnostic says:

      Since retardEd is an atheist Jew, I’d imagine he’s 100% behind the de-anglification of the church.

  14. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Have a look as this blog, and have a say?

    • 43
      joescotus says:

      fuck knows,,, honestly

    • 193
      The Paragnostic says:

      Looks like another load of fucking angst and bullshit to me, Billy – maybe she’ll get signed up by the Independent and become Bridget Jones MkII. Or maybe she’ll just keep posting supposedly insightful bollocks for the metrosexuals to wank over.

      • 361
        D L George says:

        Oh man what are you like?
        We’re surrounded by G Browns ‘dour’ Britain, we only get our collective rocks off when something disastrous happens to the dictators over the channel, it’s bleak city.

        This young lady is a veritable butterfly.

        Allow some light in Para old man.

    • 358
      D L George says:

      Flare and Wit.

      She shouldn’t be working in an office without windows, Definitely has a book in Her.
      Cheers Billy, nice link.

      • 369
        Really? says:

        Nobody should. If she was a veal calf or a chicken, it would be illegal.

        Working in an office which enforces a Trappist rule of silence is downright creepy.

        Her forbearance is remarkable.

  15. 37
    joescotus says:

    if this consumate tit was a doctor would you let him anywhere near you or you family

  16. 38
    Cell time says:

    Child Obesity stats out tomorrow! Gripping stuff.

  17. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Paris CAC 40: 3078.72 Change: -10.87 (-0.35%)

    FTSE 100: 5490.15 Change: +62.29 (1.15%)

    • 128
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      While you’re about it, whats the £- Euro rate?

      • 150
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        You ge more than 1.18 to the pound today – but don’t rush to buy any, they’ll just keep getting cheaper.

  18. 41
    Superman says:

    Greedy B(w)ankers ruined the country.Brown was seduced by them.But had Tories been in power history would have been the same.Bankers always vote Tory with good (self) reason

    • 44
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Not quite, Tories warned Brown when he stripped the power from the Bank of England to oversea banks etc that it would cause problems ( see hansard) 1998 .

    • 49
      Anon says:

      So it was the greedy bankers who caused the ruinous national debt (which had reached crisis-point before the credit crunch), and it was the greedy bankers who ‘forced’ Gordon Brown to create a record structural deficit, even when tax receipts were at their highest-ever level?

      “Big bad nasty bankers made me do it!” – G. Brown.

      • 62
        smoggie says:

        They also made him sell the nation’s gold at rock bottom prices. Shame on them.

      • 90
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Brown blames a wunch of bankers for his faults, goes AWOL when the FSA point the fingers of blame in his direction.

    • 56
      AC1 says:

      No, Gordon Brown ruined the country and bankrupted the world.

      He needed to maximise spend to pay his tax and spend policies. The only way to do that was to maximise debt, and he did that by removing all reserve requirements.

      The FSA made sure everyone followed their vast array of nonsense regulation, except regulating the most important thing, the systematic volume of credit (which was off limits because it was Gordo’s Golden Goose).

    • 59
      Fuck Off With The Revisionist History LeftWing BedWetters. Utopia Will Never Come. says:

      ‘But had Tories been in power history would have been the same’

      Who forced Labour to stop following the Tory plans already set out that they followed for their first term to great success?

      Oh yeah that great colossus of crap called Gordon Brown who then spent the next two terms trying to cover up his failures.

    • 88
      WVM says:

      Are you suggesting after thirteen years of a Labour government they had nothing to do with it?

      I’m not defending the banks here, they fucked up big time, they all did across the whole western world. But the suggestion here that the Tories would have done the same as Labour is laughable. The banks weren’t running the country either, Labour are fully responsible for the role they had in all this and there is no getting away with it.

      Here is a Graph showing you the proven figures, and it’s from the Guardian too so no claims of bias please. As mentioned by the enlighten poster above Labour only stuck to Tory plans for their first term, after that they when back to type. That being spend spend spend and fuck the consequences the Tories can pay it off when they get in and we’ll slag them off wile they do it. No boom and bust, higher taxes a million none jobs and a PC entitlement culture etc etc Gordon fuckin’ Brown.

      They’re both to blame!

    • 198
      AC1 says:

      But first, a detour to London…

      As readers will recall, the actual office that blew up the world the first time around, was not even based in the US. It was a small office located on the top floor of 1 Curzon Street in London’s Mayfair district, run by one Joe Cassano: the head of AIG Financial Products. The reason why this office of US-based AIG was in London, is so that Cassano could sell CDS as far away from the eye of Federal regulators as possible. Which he did. In fact he sold an unprecedented $2.7 trillion worth of CDS just before the firm collapsed due to one small glitch in the system – the assumption that home prices could go down as well as up. Yet the real question is why he sold so much CDS? The answer is simple – in a world of limited real assets, the only way to generate a practically limitless cash flow annuity would be to sell synthetic insurance on a virtually infinite amount of synthetic underlying. Which he did. Only when it came time to pay the claims, AIG blew up, forcing the government to bail it out, and set off the chain of events where we find ourselves now, where every day could be the developed world’s last if not for the ongoing backstops, guarantees and bailouts of the central banking regime.

      What is greatly ironic is that in the aftermath of the AIG collapse, the UK was shamed into admitting that it was its own loose, lax and unregulated system that allowed such unsupervised insanity to continue for as long as it did. As the Telegraph reminds us, “Conservative Party Treasury spokesman Philip Hammond called for a public inquiry into the FSA’s oversight of AIG Financial Products in Mayfair. “We must not allow London to become a bolthole for companies looking for a place to conduct questionable activities,” he said. “This sounds like a monumental cock-up by the FSA,” said Lib Dem shadow chancellor Vince Cable. “It is deeply ironic,” he added, that Brown was in Brussels last week calling for tougher global financial regulation just as the scandal over the FSA’s role in one of the key regulatory failures at the root of the global panic emerged as an international issue.” It is ironic because the trail in the MF Global collapse, where it is yet another infinitely leveragable product that once again comes to the fore, once again goes straight to that hub for “questionable activities” – London.

    • 234
      Great British Public says:


      • 282
        Anonymous says:

        I always struggle to fathom just how Brown, Labour and the Bankers could have believed that this age of growth and prosperity would continue forever. Not once in human history has man ever perfected the management of the economy and the management of the country’s finances, yet these arrogant Hunts believed they stumbled upon some sort of winning formula?

        If that government was the best Labour had to offer then god forbid Ed ever clutches onto power!

        • 300
          AC1 says:

          Oh no. Growth and Prosperity have continued to grow throughout history, it’s just that after a while of growth we forget about the working bit, and think we invented a magic money tree, stop work, start spending, and crash the economy.

          Of course Wealth Growth is merely a synonym for comparative advantage.

  19. 52

    The words I fear most of all are not from Ed but from Gordon.

    The moment I ever hear him say, “Well the sun will always come up tomorrow”, we are all doomed.

    • 233
      Albert Finney says:

      I starred in a film once where a little girl sang that. Only, with her you believed it.

  20. 53
    Cart before the horse says:

    I’m curious – Ed’s sheet bangs on about “5 pt plan, jobs & growth”.

    Shouldn’t it be “growth and (then) jobs”?

  21. 55
    Sarah Brown says:

    I’m putting some of Gordan’s old things on ebay to raise some cash for christmas.
    Please bid generously.

    1. Box set of handkerchiefs. Still in shrink wrap.
    2. Oil painting portrait of Tony Blair by renowned artist Tracey Emin. Signed by Tony -”To my good friend and comrade, little Gordy” Slight damage – footprint shaped hole where Tony’s face should be.
    3. Box of about 80 damaged Nokia’s . Various models. Useful for spares.
    4. Box of unwatched DVD’s. In themselves worth about £1.99 each. Unfortunately all are Region 1 and only play in USA. However they have history: Gift from President Obama. Comes with the original receipt;
    [$72.00 - less discount - $28.99] and plastic carrier bag from the ‘Atlanta Video Shack’ Atlanta airport. And a signed card {still price marked -1.79p WH SMITHS} “To my good buddy and go to numbers guy -Mr Prudent! Swell to meet you and your friend Sarah. Obama”
    5. Arctic monkeys CD Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not – Played once.
    6. Timotei shampoo. 15 gallon drum. Unopened.
    7. 1/300 th scale airfix Model of the Titanic.
    8. 1/3000 replica dolls house. Wood. Authentic. Modeled on the bank of England -{Note* Gold bars missing}
    9. 10,000 copies of ‘Beyond the crash.’ Buyer collects. Accept any reasonable offer.
    10. House of commons MP pass 2011. In original envelope. condition.

    Place your bids!
    I accept offers by tweet too!

  22. 57
    Sarah Brown says:


  23. 68
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Please, please, people voting in the Heathrow by-election, do not vote for labour. Show them what up for what they did to the country.

    • 91
      a moron touched by a sad twat's pathetic appeal says:

      OK I won’t

    • 92
      Multiculti Proxi Farmer says:

      Shouldn’t you post that message in Hindi or somesuch?

    • 96
      until he climbs back onto says:

      Think your appealing to the wrong people on the wrong blog, Camby has just extended his sell by date until he jumps off the lifeboat and goes back onto the Titanic.

    • 99
      Were in it but not together says:

      Wrong blog, wrong people, this blog is a teensy weensy right wing, well until Camby jumps off the lifeboat and back on to the Titanic , then just run.

  24. 73
    Superman says:

    Right wing press ran campaign against Brown telling him not to interfere in banks affairs.
    “How can government tell banks who they can lend to?” Was general theme. Governments mistake wan not telling them who they could NOT lend to.
    Tories would have been no different.Aren’t Cameron and Clegg banking stock? What stupid people the Brits are.The banks ruin us and we elect bankers with opposition led by a wanker.We deserve what we get

    • 75
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Brown removed supervison from the Bank Of England to the FSA over banks.

      How banks needed bailing out under Lady thatcher and John Major and how many needed bailing out T Blair and G Brown?

      Answer that.

    • 76
      I don't need no doctor says:

      You are Ed Balls, come on admit it, gotcha.

    • 79
      Virgin Bankers says:

      Which banker did we elect?
      Can’t think of any front bench or shadow front bench from the banking sector.

      David laws perhaps?

    • 100
      Who said this says:

      “The Government’s interest in this area is specific and clear – to safeguard the light touch and proportionate regulatory regime that has made London a magnet for international business.”

      Clue: It wasn’t McFuckwit.

      • 108
        genghiz the kahn says:


        • 124
          Correct says:

          Correct genghiz.

          Ed Balls was instrumental in pushing the FSA to pursue light touch regulation.
          He should be reminded of this and the above at every opportunity.

          • AC1 says:

            Well they failed at that. There was REAMS of regulation coming out of the FSA….

            Regulating everything except credit volumes, well morons of all parties thought that property getting less affordable made the country richer, rather than the obvious answer.

    • 202
      AC1 says:

      >“How can government tell banks who they can lend to?”

      They shouldn’t. They should just supervise a decent reserve requirement, and that it is being followed. This then controls the volume of systematic credit.

      Of course if you’re a tax and spend maniac like Gordo Brown you might want systematic credit to go ballistic…

      • 240
        RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  25. 74
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I had to turn off today’s Daily Politics Show. The left wing biased Jo Coburn had Mark Serwotka and Jack Straw on. Both liars and shysters.
    I notice that she never once interrupted either. If it’s a coalition MP she asks a question and another while the first is being answered.

    • 112
      joescotus says:

      coburn is a not very talented lefty no mark can’t recall how many times she lets leftys off the hook
      brillo on the other hand try’s to put across joe publics opinion(..look minister i know, the general public know, our faithfull viewers know…….. your’ a lying Hunt… now bearing that in mind why wont you answer the question ,,you lying Hunt?

      • 374
        Really? says:

        As Jeremy Clarkson successfully pointed out, this is the very definition of what the BBC considers to be balanced coverage. ‘Today’s going to be a lovely sunny day, so those of you with a tendency for melanoma should cower in your cellars.’

  26. 81
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit. The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town. No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
    And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the Greek bailout package works

    • 84
      Were in it but not together says:

      Where’s all the bribe money, that’s not been taken into account, Euro and now Britain can’t work without bribes.

      • 355
        Hi sailors ! says:

        Yes, but in that story the one who loses out is the hotel fellow who has to give the note back to the tourist. So although the hooker gave him what was due, he still does not end up with the cash in his pocket. So everybody gets their debts cleared and the hotelman is 100 smackers out of pocket. Gordonomics in action?

    • 86
      Ed Miliband says:

      So the debt is only 100 euros?
      Funny, I thought it was more.

    • 102
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      That would work in a zero tax system. However, if you take off approximately 25% tax at each transaction, nobody pays off their debts, and the tax is spent by the politicians on German cars and the benefits brigade on 3D TV’s from China. So the German needs to put down lots more than he can ever hope to get back.

    • 125
      WVM says:

      I believe the hotel desk is playing the role of a fractional reserve bank here, made me think about it for a wile as I’m not financially literate or understand economics so thanks for the story Mr Quango. What I found interesting though is that in this circle of debt it only takes one person to not pay there debts on time and a domino effect of defaults takes place.

      • 207
        AC1 says:

        It’s just really netting off the existing debts…

        Off course if you’re a bank bondholder or a state that taxes transactions you’d hate netting off (and the resultant fall in risk).

    • 228
      Anonymous says:

      This will only work if the hotel owner is both a debtor and creditor and for the same amount in each case. Oh, it also helps if the “loan” from the German is interest free.

  27. 83
    Ed Miliband says:

    For all those still waiting for an answer to the question “would Labour have signed the new EU treaty?”

    Your question is important to us and we will get back to you with an answer shortly. Probably before 2018.

    2020 at the latest.

    • 226
      Mike Hunt says:

      According to Hansard, you were tweeting that you wouldn’t have signed.

      Hypocritical two faced cunt.

  28. 87
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Ed couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.

    He’s not fit to lead a dog, let alone a political party.

  29. 98
    pulse of the nation says:

    Have you, on your daily business out and about, yet heard a single person condemn Cameron for the stance he took in Brussels?
    I havent.

    • 104
      Were in it but not together says:

      Most people get on with their lives, us idiots try to tell them but Christmas is a few weeks away and they don’t give a toss.

    • 164
      MrAngry61 says:

      One so far – a Hampstead Lib Dim. Also thought that a referendum was madness as ‘politicians know much more about it than the people’.

    • 356
      Hi sailors ! says:

      But surely I was not the only one to notice a quick one liner slipped into Cam’s speech to the effect that “we are in the EU and WE WANT TO STAY IN THE EU”?

      Is that the royal ‘we’ or should we be watching what his other hand is doing instead of the one we see distracting us in front of our faces?

      Keep your ears and eyes open chaps.

  30. 105
    I don't need no doctor says:

    A labour policy, more rare than seeing a Higgs Boson particle.

    • 107
      Well it's a thought says:

      Remember a Liebour policy is just a policy until a tame judge says it isn’t a policy but just a dream, not even a wet one

      • 114
        Well it's a thought says:

        Maybe that’s why Ed has no policies he knows after the Liebour Lisbon referendum lies nobody believes a word they say, he couldn’t have people asking questions about them as he migh tjust slip up and be honest..

    • 117
      Engineer says:

      It took an £8bn research project to find the Higgs boson. It will probably cost a lot more to find a Labour policy.

  31. 109
    relieved says:

    Ed’s appeal to the “Floating Voter” fails spectacularly as the only sympathisers are “Voting Floaters” -and they say you can’t polish those.

  32. 110
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The Tories are naughty people and labour are angels read more :

    • 120
      History Buff says:

      I know for a fact that Mother Teresa was Labour, so was Gandhi, and Batman, what’s your point Billy?

  33. 113
    Sue Denim says:

    Thu 15th – Parliament

    DCMS Orals


  34. 116
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Belgium does really quite well during a record-breaking 541 days without government.

    A government is formed on 6 December, and a week later 3 people die and scores are injured by a crazed gunman.

    I’m just sayin’…

  35. 118
    Pull my Finger says:

    Brown is a financial spastic

    • 130
      Cell time says:

      Financial is completely superfluous in that sentence.

    • 248
      Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

      I’ll second that.

      My unregulated, unsupervised financial whizz-kids will slice, dice, innovate and re-package that and earn me a huuuuuge bonus.

      Love you, Gordon xxx

  36. 135
    Absence of wit says:

    Where are Bill Quango and Sir William Waad? Their posts are always the most amusing in a sea of Billy Bowden’s drivel.

  37. 137
    Daily Bullshit on the BBCEU. says:

    Ed Miliband looks like a schoolboy! He should get himself a glove puppet that whispers all the answers into his ear.

    • 141
      Mr Garrison says:

      What do you say to that Mr Hat?

    • 144
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Well I hear Red Ed likes a fist up his arse.

    • 153

      He already has one. He’s called Dave Prentis. And he’s like the dummy from Magic.

      “I think .. maybe Cameron is right..maybe I should say I’ll cut the deficit.”
      The Prentis dummy turns its head. “Don’t do that..I wouldn’t do that. I’d raise taxes on the rich and double the minimum wage.””

      “No..that’s not a good idea..there’s no money.”

      “Sure there is..plenty of rich suckers wanna give you money Ed. You’re a winner.”

      “No..I think I’ll announce a real spending freeze.”

      “If you do that..I’lll te-eelllllll. I’ll tell how you touch yourself in the bath. Want me to tell? I’ll do it, kid. You know I will.”

      • 161
        Comedy stylings says:

        Bill, funnily enough I posted a comment just ten mins ago, which is still awaiting moderation for some reason, asking where you and Sir William are as your posts are usually the most entertaining.

        • 243

          Work, work work.
          Not that MP stuff. That takes up about 4 hours a week now the interns are up to speed. I mean real work.

          Some times I think about joining Labour and just having the union send me a cheque once a month.

  38. 138
    Absence of wit says:

    And if the commenter who does the Tony Soprano posts can contribute more, that’d be even better.

    • 167
      Tony Soprano says:

      Did I hear my name taken in vain?

      Actually, I have been watching the whole Cameron-taking-on-the-dwarf-and-hausfrau story, and I gotta tell you, that Dave went up miles in my estimation; what a pair of cugliones he’s got! If he needs any back-up, I could lend him some, details to be worked out of course.

      As for that zhethrool Miliband, he’s like that Kevin Pollak character in Casino, one of my favorite movies; doesn’t know too much, doesn’t want to know too much.

      I’m gonna start a betting pool over/under how many seats Labour loses in the next election– we’re gonna get an expert from London to help us on this one.

      You want me to keep commenting? Sure, I’ll do it; Tony Soprano to let you down? Fuhgeddaboudit!

      • 170
        Joe Pesci says:

        You seen Frankie Googootz lately? That motherless fuck owes me money.

      • 187
        Ronald Kray says:

        I can put you in touch with plenty o’ blokes ‘oo’ll ‘elp ya on that betting pool, my Eyetie-American counterpart; of course, a slight remuneration in advance won’t go amiss for me and bruvva Reg. Of course, once we know which way YOU’RE going on the bet, we can sorta “goose” the results a bit with what we know about certain MPs ‘oose “indiscretions,” shall we say, we know about only too well from up-close-and-personal observation; again, a service charge will be in order per customary practice in these matters. I look forward to our collaboration, Tony!

  39. 140
    Gordon Brown says:

    Why haven’t Help for Heroes sent me a cheque?

    • 143
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      You’re thinking of ‘Help for fucking mongs’ Gordon. Red Ed is first in line for the help.

  40. 142
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    To all you fucking EU Krauts and gutless Froggies

  41. 146
    Speed Demon says:

    Sky says Chris Huhne made an outburst calling Cameron Billy No-mates. Isn’t that enough for Cameron to sack him?

    • 156
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      According to Gary Gibbon on C4 News, Huhne had the temerity to criticise Cameron for not following the correct procedure.

      Maybe he’d like the Police and the CPS to follow the correct procedure – because we all would.

      • 166
        There's a reason the LimDums never get elected. says:

        Good point. Did Chris Huhne follow the correct procedure when the police sent him his well-deserved fine for his speeding offence, that he incurred whilst he was driving in a dangerous manner, a manner likely to endanger lives?

        No he fucking didn’t.

    • 158

      Time will cure all.

      Chris will find plenty of mates before long who want to explore his environment to see if it is as green as he professes.

    • 160
      There's a reason the LimDums never get elected. says:

      Yes. Cameron is now extremely popular, whereas Chris Huhne is, and always has been, and always will be, a complete cunt, despised by everyone.

    • 200
      Bulldog Drummond says:

      Either Cameron should sack him or better still The Met arrest him. Game over both ways. Huhne really is a very smug self rightous individual who’s face would make a very nice puch bag.

    • 225
      South of the M4 says:

      With ‘ friends’ like Sarkozy – being billy no mates seems the right choice.

  42. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Given that Ed Mil is clearly in the wrong job (is it the Peter principle – being promoted to your level of maximum incompetence?) I took to musing on what would suit him better. Unfortunately I could only imagine him helping Gwendoline run her knitting emporium. Got any better ideas?

    • 162
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Ed was the spolit little brother. You can just hear him say “but David wants to be leader so I do, it’s not fair” Scream, scream, scream.

    • 163

      Health & Safety inspector for parks and public spaces.

      Head of tick box management at the council.

      Target on a rifle range

      Mayor of Trumpton

      Geography supply teacher

      Bloke who dashes out during guest shots on the One Show to reattach the presenters lapel mic.

    • 230
      labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      A traffic warden snitch.

      He would sneak around the streets reporting on any traffic wardens who were not diligently doing their job to the up most, reporting behind their back to control centre with names and any car numbers they missed.

    • 344
      Careers Advisor says:

      Thpeech therapitht.

  43. 152
    Say What? says:

    Is it true the UK would pay 80 percent of the Europe-wide financial-transactions tax the EU Commission says would raise 57 billion euros ($75 billion) a year? The tax Sarkozy and Merkel endorse to raise bail-out funds for the 17 Euro zone Counties?

    It says yes on

    If true – Why are the UK media and government not trumpeting that fact in debates here and with our EU Partners?

    • 168
      Charles De Conk says:

      England must pay! They must pay for their cowardly surrender in 1940.
      If it wasn’t for France liberating the British empire in 1944 they’d all still be speaking German.

      He-haw, he-haw, he-haw.

    • 237
      Gooey Blob says:

      The BBC won’t cover it because they’re biased.

    • 291
      What Matters says:

      Yes. True.

    • 306
      MrAngry61 says:

      According to the FT there’s disquiet amongst some non Eurozone countries that the new treaty provisions will apply to all 27 states.

      • 376
        Really? says:

        It also quotes a senior Czech politician who objects to being asked to sign a blank sheet of paper. Who can blame him?

  44. 155
    Piss loving muslim man says:

    We demands that you ban alcohols, the porks, the televisionings and Wagon Wheels! This is our countries!

  45. 174
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:


    The BBC will be broadcasting a play on Radio 4 this Friday afternoon.

    Afternoon Play – Beyond Borders
    How, in 1950, secret French plans created the organization that became the European Union.

    Has Timothy West in it (Isn’t he well known for his right wing sympathies?)

  46. 177
    Funny how you spend so much time apart from your hero says:
  47. 180
    phwoarrr says:

    I know its good to detest France n all, but we have Little Mix, France has this…

    • 188
      nellnewman says:

      Pity she can’t sing.

      As for the rest well that’s what we expect from the land of the poison french dwarf.

      • 215

        nell. You need to be in possession men’s genes in order to understand to what Mr phwoarrr is referring. The singing is immaterial when your tongue is lolling out so far as to be unconsciously licking the carpet whilst gazing enrapt at the box. When we get to be 105 plus, we might just be cured of it … possibly. Take pity at the male condition.

        • 231
          nellnewman says:


          Not dead yet Cat .

          Suspect it has a parallel to how we females might feel when we view some nicely tanned muscled male.

          Not that one’s likely to find a french one of them. Apparently the gallics are all rather short and scrawny a la sarkozy!

          • mr wonderful says:

            nell, don’t mind Sc, he’s just coming to terms with the fact that he’s old and dried up, and nobody fancies him any more.

          • Gerard Depardieu is not small but he is rather seedy. Even more than I am, God help him!

            I find it one of the wonderful puzzles of life. What is it really like to be a woman who really fancies a man (when you are asking as a man) and vice versa? Unanswerable.

            The older you get, the more experience you have, the less you know… I find it oddly satisfying. (The only exceptions to this are politicians who, of course, know everything and have no mental room for self-doubt.)

          • nellnewman says:

            ‘politicians who know everything and have no room for self doubt’

            Who on earth could fancy a politician ? their main attributes – to eat at the taxpayers expense and become fat, to tell lies, to live off other people’s hard work, to overestimate your contribution to society…………..

          • believe me says:

            Women are foul mouthed nutfucks.

    • 191
      WVM says:

      Ulala that’s one sexy looking bitch :)

    • 209
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      [male chauvinist mode]

      Cor Blimey! Crikey!

      I’d be on that quicker than Peter Hain to a mining tragedy.

      [/male chauvinist mode]

    • 210
      JH says:

      I call that a ‘Shackleton’ arse.

      It is heading South.

    • 221
    • 263
      The Paragnostic says:

      Looks like she needs a few good feeds to me, but then again I prefer my women to be Teather shaped.

      • 271

        After I had finished with her, she would probably look like Teather. ;-)

      • 297
        AC1 says:

        If you have a donation page I will contribute to your Eye Test.

        • 304

          Let him be, AC1. After all, he is not after something that either of us want so it makes the fighting for the rest that bit cleaner.

        • 305
          swiss tony 2 says:

          Nice try AC1, but nobody can beat this Youtube comment IMHO.


          Alizee´s ass looks ok, but it is a kind of  a derriere that will never reach maturity, there will always be some infantile component in it. The same about her face, that is the reason why she resembles a doll. While the Argentinians ladies, whose pictures I recommend for jerking in solitude, are full blossom women.”

  48. 185
    nellnewman says:

    My Goodness that says it all ‘ militwit the all round PR disaster’ !!

    He reminds me very much of Michael Foot

  49. 190
    anon. says:
    • 195
      nellnewman says:

      Let’s see the libdems and labour annihilated at the next election first.

    • 197
      smug turd says:

      I’d rather see Jimmy Carr dead

    • 203
      Yet another hypocritical left-wing BBC Comedian says:

      It’s perfectly ok when we do it :)

    • 216
      JH says:

      Oh, let them have their anti-Thatch fun – it’s all they have left. Besides, I can’t wait until Tony Benn dies. The Lefties are fast running out of how-dare-you-question-them heroes. The maximum imbecile didn’t quite make it over the bar for some reason.

      PS – BBC – before you try it on with more attempts to beatify him, Ralph Milliband was just a Marxist c*nt whose self-loathing spilled over onto the country that supported him.

      His c*nt sons continue the process with aplomb.

    • 217
      will says:

      Jimmy dont worry when you die the only people who will come to your funeral will be to check that you really are dead.

    • 235
      nellnewman says:

      Was trying to think of a modern day leftwing equivalent to Mrs T.

      Difficult because they don’t have anyone with brains. But the man, these days militwit et al worship of course is kinnochio. Presumably because of the personal £millions hes been able to trough out of the eu. It has made him into a leftwing god,

      And it’s no secret that miriam wants cleggie to follow in kinnochios footsteps and make his own personal fortune for the family the same way.

    • 237
      annette curton says:

      Well, what a brilliant witticism, no doubt if somebody had said that about him he would have got PC Plod to give a swift knock at the door to those responsible and then demanded compensation via the Leveson enquiry, and as to the rest of the BBC luvvy brigade, don’t we just love them too?. Man in Polar bear suit says: is it safe to come out now?.

      • 250
        nellnewman says:

        I think it’s sad that Attenborough’s sterling reputation has now been destroyed by the the beebs rabid biased devotion to the scientifically insupportable theory of anthropogenic global warming.

        Not only were they happy to make statements about dying polar bears and shrinking icecaps that respectable scientists were telling them were incorrect if not out and out lies; they were also prepared to film sequences in labs that they said were filmed in the wild.

        And all to back up the beebs blind, biased support of agw!

        Discredited Big Time!!!

        • 266
          annette curton says:

          Truly cring-worthy, what on Earth were they thinking about?.

          • The Mighty Fallen says:

            Its usually money at the BBC.

            It’s sad to say it, but Attenborough has turned into a fraudster. What a pathetic end to a career.

        • 276
          global bollocks says:

          I hope David Bellamy is laughing his balls off at Attenborough the con artist’s predicament.

        • 336
          Another Engineer says:

          It is not scientifically unsupportable – the physics of radiation balance is pretty solid. The feedback mechanisms are perfectly arguable although feeding them into a computer model and expecting a sensible output is a bad idea. Adding extra radiative forcing is quite likely to increase the surface temperature by a couple of degrees.

          Where it reaches rock bottom is when the politicians get hold of it.

          It is perfectly possible that a couple of extra degrees may make the earth more habitable, and as long as we don’t trash all natural environments, most species will be able to migrate to a suitable climate. That is what happened over the last few ice ages, never mind the previous 3 billion years.

          I’m sorry David Attenborough has gone this way – he is a proper scientist. Of the BBC Natural History crew I think Chris Packham has the most sensible approach but he won’t be allowed to air it…

          Politicians, he says, “are concentrating all their efforts on controlling carbon emissions, yet the UK generates only two per cent of the global total. What we should be doing in this country is applying 80 per cent of our endeavours to adapting to climate change.”

          PS Nature programmes have always cheated and filmed in the studio. ‘Tis nothing new. Most of the sound is created by people with crisp packets and other suitable props.

  50. 249
    A Brit says:


  51. 254

    Red Eds media grid.

    Monday : these strikes are wrong …{repeat until Sunday}

  52. 255

    Red Eds media grid.

    Monday : these strikes are wrong …{rep/eat until Sunday}

    • 265
      Ex-Labour voter says:

      Aw! Ed’s pretending to be Tony Blair. Innit sweet? Bless! Ed’s pretending he’s got a brain.

  53. 267
    The Paragnostic says:

    In full Frankie Boyle mode:

    Young Ed had a media grid
    To decide what he said and he did
    But no clever spin
    Could even begin
    To make him look less of a flid.

  54. 269
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


    • 277
      lol Cons 41% says:

      beeboids and labour will be crying into their breakfasts.

      • 279
        retardEd Miliband says:

        It’th thum thort of dethept-thion.

        I think.

        • 284
          Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

          We’ll have to spin these figures and claim that thousands of Liebour voters have recently died because of the vicious Tory public spending cuts.

    • 283
      The Paragnostic says:

      Just read the full PDF of the survey results, and looking at the weightings used, I’d estimate the true figures to be more like 43-36-7. They have massively underestimated the “others” support due to their weighting taking 80 responses down to 22 in the weighted results, their age related weighting doubles the influence of 18-2 year olds, and their overestimation of Labour is just par for the course.

      I wonder if YouGov will alter their weightings when the boundaries are changed, or whether they will still produce results showing Labour to be far more popular than they really are?

  55. 272
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:


    There are many types of Credit Card:

    The ‘Ordinary Card’ for Joe Public or people with no money.
    The ‘Gold Card’ for people with some money or at least those trying to pretend they have money.
    The ‘Platinum Card’ for people who actually do have money or at least have the incriminating photographs safely hidden.
    The ‘Black Card’ for people who want nice things without having to go to the annoying trouble of having to pay for them…

    Too lazy, bone idle or coked off your tits to be bothered to work for what you want? With a Black Card, you can just help yourself to whatever you desire for free with nothing down and nothing to pay, and if you get caught? Well, you can simply ‘Play’ The Black Card and instantly have an army of do-gooders, liberal apologists and left-wing lentil farmers to speak up on your behalf. Avoid the rush, bomb down to the high street today and pick up a ‘Black Card’ from any participating business while stocks last.

  56. 273
    EU must be joking says:

    Nigel Farage does it again! Look at that cuпt Barosso’s face as the truth is spelled out in no uncertain terms.

    • 278
      nellnewman says:

      Good for scotland! Oh Yes. Go on scotland .Clear off go it alone and join the eu and relieve us taxpayers of paying the bliars and browns Barnett formula to keep you in idle wealth.

      • 287
        Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

        Hold on !!! I don’t fancy the EU being in charge of my pension, thank you !!

  57. 274
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I do NOT want to lose the trappings of power……

  58. 275
    Got Some Time On My Hands, JUST RESIGNED! says:

    Anyone know the best Quantum Mechanics book to start with?

    • 298

      Many of the good ones cover a number of topics including QM, working towards a Theory of Everything, so it depends upon how wide you wish to spread your net:

      The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory by Brian Greene

      The Fabric of Reality by David Deutsch

      Finally, out of nepotal piety, I have to recommend the following:

      In Search of Schrodinger’s Cat by John Gribbin

      • 309
        Got Some Time On My Hands, JUST RESIGNED! says:

        The Fabric Of Reality is inticing me, thanks SC I will give it a go.

        • 319
          infinity and Beyoncé says:

          Rationalisations are like Chinese takeaways, once you’ve had one explanation, you want another soon after.

      • 340
        Another Engineer says:

        I have John Gribbin’s tome on the shelf – it isn’t too bad.

        If you want to really bend your mind, try “The Road to Reality” by Roger Penrose. I challenge you to get beyond the first few chapters. I’m still struggling despite doing most of the maths in there at degree level.

    • 301
      Genesis says:

      The Holy Bible would make a good starting point. I recommend the King James translation.

      The author is the origin of ALL and that includes the quantum mechanics thing.

      • 308
        AC1 says:

        You gonna get around to correcting that pi = 3 misprint?

      • 314

        If the King James Version was good enough for the apostles, then it should be good enough for me?

      • 315
        The Paragnostic says:

        The author?

        The authors were: various idiot priests in ancient Judea, copying Babylonian myths and adding bits from their own oral histories / fables, then four Greek dudes trying to popularise their sect and an ex-revolutionary called Paul. Oh, and a mad bloke called John who had some sort of “revelation”.

        I don’t think any of them knew a lot of physics of any kind.

      • 318
        Christians are stupid cunts says:

        Should we still go with that “everyone was created out of mud” bit?
        6And “the earth was made 5,000 years ago” bit?

        And the “there’s no evolution” bit, which doesn’t quite explain why some people are black, some are white, some are yellow etc. Should we still go with that Biblical stuff?

  59. 281

    OK. We have talked about French women and English women so why not American? The longer version of American Woman by Guess Who:

  60. 290
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the EU well.

  61. 313
    Of course we're impartial says:

    Main Media Carrier: HH R4 Radio Show

  62. 316
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Daniel Hannan yet again speaks sense today:


  63. 323
    joescotus says:

    every paddy,ming,straw,digby(who the fuck would answer to that)wee dougie no answer, mick dick ‘an arsehole in being wheeled out to give there euros worth,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    any body seen ……GORDON …. the big, in denia,l fucking elephant that is NOT in the room!

  64. 326
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    According to the the BBC Cameron and the tories are now 2 points clear of labour in the polls !

    • 331
      The BBC says:

      That is one of the most painful things we have had to report in years.

      • 341
        BBC Controller says:

        Labour only two points away from majority government, should do nicely. We can explain away the true facts after interviews with the two Eds and the unions later.

        • 379
          Really? says:

          Report the margin of error before giving the poll result, then repeat that the margin of error is bigger than the lead.

          They can’t touch you for it.

  65. 332
    WVM says:

    Apparently the Ipsos-MORI poll out tomorrow will be showing a Tory lead, so say BBC Newsnight.

  66. 333
    Gordon Brown says:

    Oh Flower of Scotchland

  67. 334
    Fabians are Evil says:

    OK – the froggies have now gone too far! methinks it is about time that we remind the French that they have been using their Veto to block the reform of the Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) for years!

    The CAP costs the average UK household well over 20 pounds per week to protect french farmers.

    • 337
      Frog Peasant says:

      And the rest. English Suckers ha ha.

    • 338
      Frog Pe@sant says:

      And the rest. English Suckers ha ha.

      • 343
        Harris Tottle says:

        Cameron knew what he was doing. Let them squabble about his veto whilst they sink into the financial abyss. They are the last remnants of the European communist party. This was all planned and if they do get their way what will follow is a rigid undemocratic socialist dictatorship. It has of course already started in Greece and Italy and make no mistake Milliband, Clegg and the elite of the BBC are all part of this utopian plot. We can only hope that the people of Europe wake up before it is too late.

  68. 351
    not a machine says:

    Only at some decision at a lib dem mps meeting could they come up with a strategy , that involved entirely abstaining from a vote , on having safeguards to protect the city from a Eurozone currency compact , when one of there former leaders admitted some time ago “euro was a mistake” , and there star ex banker candidate cannot answer if the sfae guards were the correct ones .
    Let alone the fact that they agreed to Daves demands for the city before he went to summit , and knew he would veto them if he didnt get them .

    I was quite sympathetic to them staying in government and perhaps offering some of the muscualr liberalism and re election in 2015 , perhaps it was just bit of westminister village fun , either way still a little stupid to instruct whole group to abstain , as that now means (teachers notes ) “Nick is sometimes prone to sulking and is unable to decide on fairly simple ecnomic models , how much he will make or lose for everyone else , his inability to tell the british people the truth on finance matters or budgets for tutition fees often puts him at odds , with head boy . despite this and his love of science , he remains milk monitor to his group even though his group often huddle in murderous sulks for ages .

    none event on a small vote for me , shame they are not a little more cautious on events on eurozone , might just be there cheif whip being a little techey (was it 1 , 2 or 3 line ?) , lines up for Eds PMQs line I suppose , hope class all watched Gillian Tett and co . Only ms maitlis could say “those gourgeous graphs” ………… mmm “when you look at that graph of unit cost you wonder how on earth anyone ever thought the euro would work” ….. wonder if Nick or Ed agrees with her ?

  69. 372
    Ollie says:

    If they didn’t have a visit planned they’d be accused of defeatism.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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