December 12th, 2011

Guardian Diary in a Pickle

Who said perseverance never got you anywhere? After no fewer than ten days of calling his office, the Guardian diarist Hugh Muir finally got his answer to whether Eric Pickles would attend the Young Britons’ Foundation annual conference. Muir, who doesn’t like the fact YBF don’t like the NHS, ran diary story after diary story demanding an answer. There were at least four that Guido can see. Guido hears that Pickles opened his speech to the young right-wingers on Saturday with:

“I understand that a man that I’ve never met, who writes for a paper I’ve never read, is fascinated to know whether I would attend this conference. Well, I’m delighted to attend”.

Hugh took his public slap-down on the chin when Guido spoke to him earlier: “I understand he went down a storm”. He’s not too happy about his “reputable newspaper” being ignored though. Better luck next year…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Two apologies in a few days?

  2. 2
    JH says:

    The photo of Pickles has been ‘shopped, right?

    Top bloke all the same.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    yeah, it’s his face on a thumb.

    There’s a prize if you can guess whose

  4. 4

    A priceless start to a speech LOL

  5. 5
    Loungelizard says:

    It would be sensible policy if the right ignored the left leaning media rather more. Two rules for a better Tory party, appease less, confront more.

  6. 6
    P. Doff says:

    With a face like that his “spads” are probably called “spuds”.

  7. 7
    Gonk says:

    I wonder what his hat size is ?

  8. 8
    Clive says:

    I read the Guardian daily, mainly to reinforce my Ghengis Khan opinions. I like Hugh Muir, he is sometimes too London orientated but he does often have a witty turn of phrase. His taking it on the chin as you say is typical of him.

  9. 9
    jenny talia says:

    who’s the organ grinder, all I can see is the monkey…

    Pickles would eat him, potatoes and all, in one sitting.

  10. 10
    jenny talia says:

    W1A 1AA

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    How old are the young conservatives? If you take the average age of conservative members even Cameron is very young.

  12. 12
    Jimmy says:

    Always nice to see the young people enjoying themselves

  13. 13
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Thith ith outwageouth.

    I think our bugthet tshould be seth in germany.

  14. 14
    Ken Ken says:

    Which country does the Hugh fellow come from? You don’t get a sun tan like that in Hastings.

  15. 15
    The Underwater Menace says:

    Wow, people still read the Guardian, who would have known.

  16. 16
    jgm2 says:

    The clue is in his surname. He’s Scottish. Like their late King Idi Amin.

  17. 17
    Labour says:

    Labour has the best celebrity supporters! Mick Hucknall, JK Rowling, Sean Pertwee. Who have the Tories got?! Joan Collins, Nigel Havers and Jim Davidson!

    Come to think of it, we both have crap supporters. As you were.

  18. 18
    Future of Britain says:

  19. 19
    P. Doff says:

    10 gallon!

  20. 20
    P. Doff says:

    They’re called teachers.

  21. 21
    Gorbals Al says:

    Like that other famous jock, Al Megrahi ?

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    How much does he eat?

  23. 23
    Gonk says:

    Were they at the negotiations with Dave last week ?

  24. 24
    jgm2 says:

    Labour lost.

    Get over it.

  25. 25
    Raving Loon says:

    Perhaps if the Grauniad cam with a free donut Pickles might read it.

  26. 26
    Denis MacShane says:

    I was born in Scotland, says Matyjaszek on ma birth certificate though.

  27. 27
    Jon says:

    Well it’s not covered in shit, so it can’t be Ed Miliband’s…

  28. 28
    Jon says:

    Would be handy to wipe your fingers on, if nothing else…

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    A bit of rac*sm going on? Where did you forefathers comes from? One of your forefathers might had a better tan than him.

  30. 30
    Labour fuckwit says:

    Fatcher’s children!!!

  31. 31
    jgm2 says:

    One of ‘em might. But not all of ‘em.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    That’s the worst looky-likey pairing since Dave Cameron and a Eurosceptic.

  33. 33
    Sandy Shore says:

    That is a truly frightening clip Jimmy, thanks for the link.

  34. 34
    Ollie says:

    Where do the amusing comments get posted?

  35. 35
    Al Jolson says:

    At least I used to black up.

  36. 36
    Please Spare Us........Zzzzzzzzz says:

    One day that bullshit theory that we all came from one place in Africa will be proven wrong in spectacular fashion just like the Large Hadron Collider undermined and is about to prove Einstein was wrong about the theory of relativity.

  37. 37
    Lou Scannon says:

    but they’re really indoctrinators.

  38. 38
    EU says:

    All you eurosceptic right wingers will rue the day you isolated yourselves. We are all part of europe and depend on each other.

  39. 39
    EdMiliband says:


  40. 40
    Loungelizard says:

    None of that southern fairy shite oop north.

  41. 41
    sid Snot says:

    why is Kenny Everett asking questions at the Leveson Inquiry?

  42. 42
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Let me get this straight

    A journalist working for an offshore tax avoiding trust owned newspaper with a dwindling circulation staffed by hypocritical champagne socialist sociopaths like White and Toynbee is claiming they are “reputable”.

    With 270,000 Guardian readers every day in a UK population of 62 million, I think Eric Pickles and everyone else can afford to ignore all 0.4% of them.

  43. 43
    Pigs in Space says:

  44. 44
    jgm2 says:

    to ignore all 0.4% of them.

    Who, astonishingly, will claim to represent the 99% without a hint of irony.

  45. 45
  46. 46
    Had A Good Weekend Betting Against The Majority says:

    Like Amir Khan was favourite to win his boxing match and Amelia Lily was favourite to win X Factor?

  47. 47
    lola says:

    Sorry, who are you? Channel’s a bit foggy today.

  48. 48
    Anybody But Ed says:

    Grauniad tosser!!!!

  49. 49
    A Inglish Teecha says:

    I only read it for the pictures.

  50. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Tho, that is more than signed the petition to have a referendum on the EU..

    just sayin

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    Haven’t you heard? Sarkozy’s winding his neck in and sounding a lot more conciliatory….

    But he said that the importance of this agreement with Germany did not mean that France could not work with Britain. He said David Cameron had been “courageous” over Libya and that Britain and France shared a commitment to nuclear energy and to defence co-operation.

    Meanwhile Sarkozy’s domestic political rival is sticking the boot in…

    Members of Mr Hollande’s party have accused President Sarkozy of bowing to German pressure on the issues of the ECB’s power and eurobonds.

    Game, set and match to Cameron.

  52. 52
    Wendy Bendy says:

    I hope you don’t actually *buy* it!

  53. 53
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    It’s all done in the best possible taste.

  54. 54
    tory twat sieg heiling in a french restaurant hoping to run UK in 2020 says:

    This story is fucking huge, guido. no wonder you weren’t able to fit me in.

  55. 55
    Paddy Donverloap says:

    I’m getting very tired of the assholes at the Grauniad

  56. 56
    David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    About time Pickles did something about the local authorities. Two years and still waiting for major change. Tory election was all about change, when is it going to happen. Name and shame rubbish has failed, so how about capping CEO pay, merging local authorities to cut costs and only have unitary authorities rather than the two-tiered multiple authority systems that cost local people a local fortune. We want action now not the never ending promise that never materialises. Come on Pickles get on with it.

  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    Since when did dressing up in Nazi uniform bar somebody from aspiring to high office?

  58. 58

    McMuir was obviously over-excited by the words madrasas for the young

  59. 59
    Wiggers in da house says:

    It’s multiculturalism wonderful!

  60. 60
    Brainwashed from birth says:


  61. 61
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol! says:

    Nice to know the Rt Hon Mr Pickles has a sense of Hugh Muir…

    *pa DOOM poom*

  62. 62
    Morbidly obese says:

    Pickles is hilarious. How can someone so evidently incapable of self-restraint lecture others on belt-tightening?

  63. 63
    Nemo says:

    I think Fatty Pickles is getting ready to explode, I bet you could get 3 Guidos in the space he takes up

  64. 64
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    At least Sarkozy has a neck to wind in.

    Pickles, on the other hand…….

  65. 65
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    …… and can all those television stations advertising for ‘rent a lion’, ‘help a chicken’, ‘bribe a granny’, ‘save a child who hasn’t eaten for 57 years’, the wwf, save the children, all of them STOP TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME

    I am not impressed with the number of ‘pleading’ or ‘bleedin” fucking ads before christmas – now fuck off

  66. 66
    Nemo says:

    The equivalent in 5 normal servings of curry?

  67. 67
    will says:

    Dont worry the way the guardian circulation is going even relying on a 2nd hand motor paper will not save it. Autotrader is not doing that well thye had to refinance it to take out a dividend last year. The net debt is £500 million with 73 mill profit. so all the cash is being used to pay down debt. If the used car market declines given the recession or dealers refuse to put up with its expensive advertising costs then its could run into trouble.

  68. 68
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Now this is what I call “Black Monday” !!!!!!!

    FTSE 100 5467.80 Down -61.41 -1.11%

  69. 69
    Nemo says:

    Shirt collar size? How much material is used in the making of his suits?

  70. 70
    Sorry - I had to says:

    Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are sitting around the family table at Christmas.

    Young Luke skips off to the tree and comes back with a beautifully wrapped present but before he can open it his dad says ‘That’s a light sabre’. Sure enough, Luke opens it and it’s a light sabre.

    So off Luke goes and gets another present. ‘That’s a toy X-wing’ says Vader. Luke opens it and, fuck me, it’s a toy X-wing.

    And so on. Half a dozen presents and Vader guesses ‘em all right.

    ‘Dad, dad, how come you know what father Christmas has brought for me?’

    [Darth Vader voice] ‘Because…. I sensed your presents young Luke’ [/ Vader Voice]

  71. 71

    It will soon be under 5600.

  72. 72
    Nemo says:

    I don’t buy the Tit and Bum

  73. 73
    jgm2 says:

    If Sarkozy winds his neck in any further he’s going to need stilts instead of platform shoes.

  74. 74
    David Davis says:

    Speaking on the BBC’s The World at One regarding Clegg’s ‘sturm und drang’ and general Lib-Dem showcasing.

    “He has to keep his grandees happy – you’ve got Paddy Ashdown, the last person in Britain who thinks the euro is a good idea.”

  75. 75
    jgm2 says:

    I’d say he was an expert in belt-tightening.

  76. 76
    Nemo says:

    Pickles makes 3 Guidos so probably 5 Hugh Muirs

  77. 77

    He probably takes it anywhere and everywhere.

  78. 78
    Paddy Donverloap says:

    Let’s hope it’s that quick Will.

  79. 79
    Rat's arse says:

    Politician, I tried to add up how much money I’d need to support all these do-gooding adverts, but gave up when a I reached 53 quid!

  80. 80
    Nemo says:

    Not listened to it but loooks like a very butch bint or a very nice boy, what does Billy make of him/her/it

  81. 81
    sssh, dont mention that other Europeans might have differing views says:

    Instead of the tired old diet of Simon Hughes, wee Dougie and boring old relics like Pantsdown and Ming, maybe the BBC could offer an invite to German politician Frank Schaeffler to discuss the EU’s future

  82. 82
    Nemo says:

    5 normal portions of curry

  83. 83
    jgm2 says:

    It’s a young Yvette Cooper singing for the Labour jungen.

  84. 84
    East Ender says:

    Pickles should stop messing about preaching to the converted and get on with doing his job. There is serious corruption and mismanagement in places like Waltham Forest council he is failing to do anything about.

  85. 85
    Democacy Now says:

    Sarkozy is a liar, haven’t you heard?

  86. 86
    Maximus says:

    I see where this is going — Flat Eric’s shirts’ carbon footprint.

  87. 87
    Durr... says:

    This is the evidence of the true level of tory “thinking”.

  88. 88
    Thpot the Dog with Dirty Balls says:


  89. 89
    Durr... says:

    Truth is though, the tories are only in power as a coalition, they didn’t “win” either.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Talking about people coming into this country over the years, even resent as 2,000 years. These men and women were giving a good time for people living in this country and then ended up settling here as well. All most everyone in this country is mixed.

    Even few hundred years ago merchant seamen were having it on with women and men living in this country.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Even Cameron and Osborne aren’t pour English, almost everyone in this country is mixed.

  92. 92
    Maximus says:

    He has been restraining himself over local councils very well. I would have hanged hundreds of the narcissistic autocratic troughers by now. Just as an example to the others.

  93. 93
    annette curton says:

    For just £45 million a day you too could support a Europ@an country less fortunate than yours, a regular update of all the good causes this will pay for is included in a Gruniad newsletter along with a free signed photograph of the MEP trougher of your choice.

  94. 94
    Durr... says:

    It can be any branch of any party. Pick Labour Conservative or any worrying element that assumes they have the “right” answers on any issue.

  95. 95
    Democacy Now says:

    His FDP party are allies of the Liberal Democrats. Odd how differently he sees things from Nick Clegg. Maybe he doesn’t have an E* pension plan and Spanish wife with vested interests clouding his judgment.

  96. 96
    Paddy Donverloap says:

    But the CAC40 and The Dax are down even more, you’re starting to sound like the BBC Billy

  97. 97
    Humpty Dumpty says:

    It is a most provoking thing when a person doesn’t know a cravat from a belt.

  98. 98
    Pickles' skidders says:

    But how does hang his nonelastic, asthmatic, trousers?

  99. 99
    spot the 'enricher' says:

    Garbage. >80% of our genetic heritage is from hunter gatherers who entered the British Isles at the end of the last ice age.

  100. 100
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    A fat Tory (and my namesake) ignoring the Guardian!?

    Will wonders never cease.

    [If Mr W Wonders does cease don’t bother to tell me].

  101. 101
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    Belt-loosening shurley….hic…burp.

  102. 102
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    The FTSE 100 all time high was 6950 in 1999.

    So ten years+ of sh1t performance means the only pensions worth having are gold-plated pensions of bankers and MPs.

    MEPs of course have “platinium with encrusted jewels” pensions. The bastards.

  103. 103
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    What a fat Hunt.

  104. 104
    Jimmy says:

    “Who said perseverance never got you anywhere?”

    Rich’n’Mark’s art teacher?

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Thank you for that video ,sssh, 9 minutes of clear thought on the Euro mess. The BBC would not have the guts to show this , too much truth in it and definitely not ” on message “

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