December 12th, 2011

Guardian Diary in a Pickle

Who said perseverance never got you anywhere? After no fewer than ten days of calling his office, the Guardian diarist Hugh Muir finally got his answer to whether Eric Pickles would attend the Young Britons’ Foundation annual conference. Muir, who doesn’t like the fact YBF don’t like the NHS, ran diary story after diary story demanding an answer. There were at least four that Guido can see. Guido hears that Pickles opened his speech to the young right-wingers on Saturday with:

“I understand that a man that I’ve never met, who writes for a paper I’ve never read, is fascinated to know whether I would attend this conference. Well, I’m delighted to attend”.

Hugh took his public slap-down on the chin when Guido spoke to him earlier: “I understand he went down a storm”. He’s not too happy about his “reputable newspaper” being ignored though. Better luck next year…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Two apologies in a few days?

    • 11
      Anonymous says:

      How old are the young conservatives? If you take the average age of conservative members even Cameron is very young.

      • 42
        Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

        Let me get this straight

        A journalist working for an offshore tax avoiding trust owned newspaper with a dwindling circulation staffed by hypocritical champagne socialist sociopaths like White and Toynbee is claiming they are “reputable”.

        With 270,000 Guardian readers every day in a UK population of 62 million, I think Eric Pickles and everyone else can afford to ignore all 0.4% of them.

    • 14
      Ken Ken says:

      Which country does the Hugh fellow come from? You don’t get a sun tan like that in Hastings.

      • 16
        jgm2 says:

        The clue is in his surname. He’s Scottish. Like their late King Idi Amin.

        • 21
          Gorbals Al says:

          Like that other famous jock, Al Megrahi ?

          • David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

            About time Pickles did something about the local authorities. Two years and still waiting for major change. Tory election was all about change, when is it going to happen. Name and shame rubbish has failed, so how about capping CEO pay, merging local authorities to cut costs and only have unitary authorities rather than the two-tiered multiple authority systems that cost local people a local fortune. We want action now not the never ending promise that never materialises. Come on Pickles get on with it.

        • 26
          Denis MacShane says:

          I was born in Scotland, says Matyjaszek on ma birth certificate though.

      • 29
        Anonymous says:

        A bit of rac*sm going on? Where did you forefathers comes from? One of your forefathers might had a better tan than him.

        • 31
          jgm2 says:

          One of ‘em might. But not all of ‘em.

        • 36
          Please Spare Us........Zzzzzzzzz says:

          One day that bullshit theory that we all came from one place in Africa will be proven wrong in spectacular fashion just like the Large Hadron Collider undermined and is about to prove Einstein was wrong about the theory of relativity.

          • Durr... says:

            This is the evidence of the true level of tory “thinking”.

          • Anonymous says:

            Talking about people coming into this country over the years, even resent as 2,000 years. These men and women were giving a good time for people living in this country and then ended up settling here as well. All most everyone in this country is mixed.

            Even few hundred years ago merchant seamen were having it on with women and men living in this country.

          • spot the 'enricher' says:

            Garbage. >80% of our genetic heritage is from hunter gatherers who entered the British Isles at the end of the last ice age.

  2. 2
    JH says:

    The photo of Pickles has been ‘shopped, right?

    Top bloke all the same.

  3. 4

    A priceless start to a speech LOL

  4. 5
    Loungelizard says:

    It would be sensible policy if the right ignored the left leaning media rather more. Two rules for a better Tory party, appease less, confront more.

  5. 7
    Gonk says:

    I wonder what his hat size is ?

  6. 8
    Clive says:

    I read the Guardian daily, mainly to reinforce my Ghengis Khan opinions. I like Hugh Muir, he is sometimes too London orientated but he does often have a witty turn of phrase. His taking it on the chin as you say is typical of him.

  7. 9
    jenny talia says:

    who’s the organ grinder, all I can see is the monkey…

    Pickles would eat him, potatoes and all, in one sitting.

  8. 12
    Jimmy says:

    Always nice to see the young people enjoying themselves

  9. 13
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Thith ith outwageouth.

    I think our bugthet tshould be seth in germany.

  10. 15
    The Underwater Menace says:

    Wow, people still read the Guardian, who would have known.

  11. 17
    Labour says:

    Labour has the best celebrity supporters! Mick Hucknall, JK Rowling, Sean Pertwee. Who have the Tories got?! Joan Collins, Nigel Havers and Jim Davidson!

    Come to think of it, we both have crap supporters. As you were.

  12. 18
    Future of Britain says:

  13. 25
    Raving Loon says:

    Perhaps if the Grauniad cam with a free donut Pickles might read it.

  14. 32
    Anonymous says:

    That’s the worst looky-likey pairing since Dave Cameron and a Eurosceptic.

  15. 38
    EU says:

    All you eurosceptic right wingers will rue the day you isolated yourselves. We are all part of europe and depend on each other.

    • 47
      lola says:

      Sorry, who are you? Channel’s a bit foggy today.

    • 51
      jgm2 says:

      Haven’t you heard? Sarkozy’s winding his neck in and sounding a lot more conciliatory….

      But he said that the importance of this agreement with Germany did not mean that France could not work with Britain. He said David Cameron had been “courageous” over Libya and that Britain and France shared a commitment to nuclear energy and to defence co-operation.

      Meanwhile Sarkozy’s domestic political rival is sticking the boot in…

      Members of Mr Hollande’s party have accused President Sarkozy of bowing to German pressure on the issues of the ECB’s power and eurobonds.

      Game, set and match to Cameron.

  16. 39
    EdMiliband says:


  17. 40
    Loungelizard says:

    None of that southern fairy shite oop north.

  18. 41
    sid Snot says:

    why is Kenny Everett asking questions at the Leveson Inquiry?

  19. 43
    Pigs in Space says:
    • 46
      Had A Good Weekend Betting Against The Majority says:

      Like Amir Khan was favourite to win his boxing match and Amelia Lily was favourite to win X Factor?

  20. 48
    Anybody But Ed says:

    Grauniad tosser!!!!

  21. 55
    Paddy Donverloap says:

    I’m getting very tired of the assholes at the Grauniad

    • 67
      will says:

      Dont worry the way the guardian circulation is going even relying on a 2nd hand motor paper will not save it. Autotrader is not doing that well thye had to refinance it to take out a dividend last year. The net debt is £500 million with 73 mill profit. so all the cash is being used to pay down debt. If the used car market declines given the recession or dealers refuse to put up with its expensive advertising costs then its could run into trouble.

  22. 58

    McMuir was obviously over-excited by the words madrasas for the young

  23. 61
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol! says:

    Nice to know the Rt Hon Mr Pickles has a sense of Hugh Muir…

    *pa DOOM poom*

    • 70
      Sorry - I had to says:

      Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are sitting around the family table at Christmas.

      Young Luke skips off to the tree and comes back with a beautifully wrapped present but before he can open it his dad says ‘That’s a light sabre’. Sure enough, Luke opens it and it’s a light sabre.

      So off Luke goes and gets another present. ‘That’s a toy X-wing’ says Vader. Luke opens it and, fuck me, it’s a toy X-wing.

      And so on. Half a dozen presents and Vader guesses ‘em all right.

      ‘Dad, dad, how come you know what father Christmas has brought for me?’

      [Darth Vader voice] ‘Because…. I sensed your presents young Luke’ [/ Vader Voice]

  24. 62
    Morbidly obese says:

    Pickles is hilarious. How can someone so evidently incapable of self-restraint lecture others on belt-tightening?

  25. 65
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    …… and can all those television stations advertising for ‘rent a lion’, ‘help a chicken’, ‘bribe a granny’, ‘save a child who hasn’t eaten for 57 years’, the wwf, save the children, all of them STOP TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME

    I am not impressed with the number of ‘pleading’ or ‘bleedin” fucking ads before christmas – now fuck off

    • 79
      Rat's arse says:

      Politician, I tried to add up how much money I’d need to support all these do-gooding adverts, but gave up when a I reached 53 quid!

      • 93
        annette curton says:

        For just £45 million a day you too could support a Europ@an country less fortunate than yours, a regular update of all the good causes this will pay for is included in a Gruniad newsletter along with a free signed photograph of the MEP trougher of your choice.

  26. 68
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Now this is what I call “Black Monday” !!!!!!!

    FTSE 100 5467.80 Down -61.41 -1.11%

    • 71

      It will soon be under 5600.

    • 96
      Paddy Donverloap says:

      But the CAC40 and The Dax are down even more, you’re starting to sound like the BBC Billy

    • 102
      Lord Justice Pickles says:

      The FTSE 100 all time high was 6950 in 1999.

      So ten years+ of sh1t performance means the only pensions worth having are gold-plated pensions of bankers and MPs.

      MEPs of course have “platinium with encrusted jewels” pensions. The bastards.

  27. 74
    David Davis says:

    Speaking on the BBC’s The World at One regarding Clegg’s ‘sturm und drang’ and general Lib-Dem showcasing.

    “He has to keep his grandees happy – you’ve got Paddy Ashdown, the last person in Britain who thinks the euro is a good idea.”

  28. 81
    sssh, dont mention that other Europeans might have differing views says:

    Instead of the tired old diet of Simon Hughes, wee Dougie and boring old relics like Pantsdown and Ming, maybe the BBC could offer an invite to German politician Frank Schaeffler to discuss the EU’s future

    • 95
      Democacy Now says:

      His FDP party are allies of the Liberal Democrats. Odd how differently he sees things from Nick Clegg. Maybe he doesn’t have an E* pension plan and Spanish wife with vested interests clouding his judgment.

    • 105
      Anonymous says:

      Thank you for that video ,sssh, 9 minutes of clear thought on the Euro mess. The BBC would not have the guts to show this , too much truth in it and definitely not ” on message “

  29. 84
    East Ender says:

    Pickles should stop messing about preaching to the converted and get on with doing his job. There is serious corruption and mismanagement in places like Waltham Forest council he is failing to do anything about.

  30. 100
    Lord Justice Pickles says:

    A fat Tory (and my namesake) ignoring the Guardian!?

    Will wonders never cease.

    [If Mr W Wonders does cease don't bother to tell me].

  31. 103
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    What a fat Hunt.

  32. 104
    Jimmy says:

    “Who said perseverance never got you anywhere?”

    Rich’n’Mark’s art teacher?

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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