December 12th, 2011

Another Sorry Chapter in the Cable Fable

When doorstepped this morning, Vince Cable ruled out resigning saying: “I’m just getting on with my job as I always do.” So he limps on to fight, and lose, another day, but that’s not to say he hasn’t been banging his steel mug against the bars of his cell this weekend. With Clegg initially saying he was behind the national interest, Cable’s voice on the outside, also known as the spectacularly irritating Matthew Oakeshott, was deployed to stir things up.

The Observer reported: “One of Vince Cable’s closest allies, Lord Oakeshott, has refused to rule out a possible resignation by the business secretary. Cable’s comrade Will Hutton had clearly had a direct earful too: “He will speak out aggressively against Cameron’s veto; his decision is whether to resign to do so or say so in office, courting his sacking.” Will Hutton being wrong about something comes as no surprise, but him making something up would. Yet again Cable has clearly threatened that often cited nuclear bomb, yet failed to push the button. When push comes to shove, he’s yellow to his core…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Like Brown, he is a bottler.

    • 2
      Carly Simon says:

      Vince is so vain, he probably thinks the coalition is about him.

      • 5
        Calamity Clegg says:

        No, it’s about me. Look, I’m big and important, got it ?

        • 51
          Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

          What a wonderful pair they make.

          Oakshit is the most unpopular man in the city who collects impressive fund management fees from property speculation and rent hikes on behalf of charities.

          Vince is a serial complainer and minister without solution and soon without portfolio.

          Democracy in action at its best – Westminster’s favourite village idiot and his unelected gouging absent landLORD mate carping from the sidelines

          • David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

            push the button an destroy the coalition it would then become an Eu in/out general election. Then let us see the Lib Dems spectacularly lose again. Ashdown called Tory rebels “bastards” and Clegg thinks we are “pygmies”. Clegg keeps insulting the British public and culture and then expects us to vote for him and his pan European state dream led by his native Germany.

            How many more times do the Lie Dems have to act contrary to the public’s wishes, insult them and then ask for their votes?

            Before the election Lie Dumbs wanted and in/out Eu referendum claiming it was better than the Tory one offered. In office Clegg drew a three line whip to prevent the British public from having a referendum, he then called us pygmies for not sharing his fanatical EU German led dream. He claimed unequivocally that he would stop and abolish university tuition fees, he did the opposite and trebled the fees. He wanted AV against the public’s wishes, only 58 Lie Dumb MPs wanted it. He got thrashed at the local elections. Lie Dumbs spectacularly lost at the last election on policy issues of budget, EU, immigration, defence, crime and disorder. he might want to stop and think that to be elected he needs to demonstrate the party offers something the public wants- at this time they do not want the LIE DUMBS. A bit of clue Clegg.

          • Rog says:

            Does Vince actually believe that his leaving would be of nuclear button pushing proportions?

            The sage of twickers is obviously getting more delusional by the day if he thinks anyone outside of his (least popular in the country) party gives half a shit.

      • 11
        trotsky says:

        Don’t forget, underneath that yellow is a deep shade of red.

        • 42
          Vince says:

          Oakeshott is exceedingly rich.

          • dashas and caviar for party members only says:

            As I said, a typical red.

          • Anonymous says:

            Is he any relation to the Times hack, Isabel Oakeshott?

            Just’d like to know what prism I should view her witterings on the EU through.

          • Dusty Miller says:

            And like the rest of the clan, formally Liebour.

            If he’s not happy with things he could do a Dick Whittington and FCUK off the the EU and try to get a job there with the rest f the pantomime cast of thousands

      • 152
        Drew Peacock says:

        EU Voting Song after the veto

        EU Voting Song

        Jolly voting weather
        We are all europhiles
        We’re very clever
        And lie to you all the while
        You fell for our promise especially the CAST IRON trick
        We’re all from Eton, and you lot are all too thick.

        If you think I’ll claim back powers,
        You haven’t got a clue
        We’ll hand the UK to Merkle,
        There is nothing that you can do
        No referendums Changes through on the nod
        I am the PM and I’m a duplicitous sod

        As for immigration
        I know it gets on your tits
        I will flood the nation
        And pay their benefits
        I am from Eton; I am one of the ruling class
        If you don’t like it, you can just kiss my ****

        If I agreed the Treaty
        Things that it would amend
        Required referendums
        And that would be the end
        We’d be out of Europe and that’s what the public crave
        But I’m undemocratic, just call me dictator Dave

        Clegg is making noises
        Pretending he did not know
        If he really meant it
        Lib-Dems would pack up and go
        There all in it together, and David is now all smiles
        He has silenced the sceptics, with the aid of the Europhiles

        This has been a carve up
        Helped by Merkosy
        They need our money
        That is quite plane to see
        They played out the charade so it looks as if Dave’s alone
        But were still in the EU and we’ll pay for the Eurozone

        Jolly voting weather
        We are all Europhiles
        We’ve silenced the sceptics
        Look at their beaming smiles
        There’s no referendum, the sceptics are really thick
        I am from Eton and those idiots missed the trick

    • 12
      pissed off voter says:

      ‘getting on with the job’ was Brown’s favourite phrase when he was wrecking the economy and now poor old Vince has gone from boom to bust.

      • 17
        jgm2 says:

        ‘doing the right thing’. That was another for shutting down all debate.

        • 22
          Airey Belvoir says:

          and ‘in the next period of time’ = never.

          • Socialists = Sociopaths says:

            ‘Learning the lessons, drawing a line under it, getting on with the job and moving on’.

          • jgm2 says:

            ‘over the cycle’ = I get to define the ‘cycle’.

          • jgm2 says:

            ‘I will never do [X]‘ = I’m doing it right now.

          • God's Holy Trousers says:

            Some putz on R4 just now telling us that Brown will get a better write up in the future when people realsie what a good lad he was. FFS this after listening to the delusional liberal fuckwit Jenny Tong on R2. I now have a badly boiling bladder. This country is over run with morons.

          • jgm2 says:

            Brown has already had a good write-up considering the utter economic clusterfuck he bequeathed the UK. It’s downhill from here as it dawns on more and more folk who it was who sat there through all the idiocy, borrowing and squandering our future and desperately trying to hide his pyramid of fuck-ups with more borrowed cash.

          • Brown's a tosser says:

            OK – I as some may recognise detest Brown with a passion, but I freely admit he was the one man in that crazy liebor party that made sure we would not join the Eurozone. For that he deserves some props but that is about the only thing he did get right! My guess right now though is with hindsight he might consider he did the wrong thing as the Eurozone crisis coupled with Merkosy’s need to get a broader more fiscal and political union will ultimate be the downfall of the EU. Thank god.

    • 13
      Push the Button says:

      Time to sack the pointless little twat…

      Odd bloke – time to go Vince.
      Fuck off into retirement and take you dirty grey ears with you, you freak.

      • 41
        A proper right winger! says:

        That really is a sophisticated poltical/economic argument….Not!

        • 54
          Push the Button says:

          Some people are interested in the BIG issues, chum…

          If the guy can’t even keep his own ears under control and clean, what hope has he of sorting the economy? Hmm…??

          Fuck all, that’s what…

    • 15
      Selohesra says:

      He claimed to be the sage Vincent Cable
      But was actually senile & unstable
      The doddery fool
      Was a useless tool
      Proving in cabinet to be distinctly unable

      • 24
        jgm2 says:

        Vince Cable has threatened to go
        It’s not the first time he’s done so
        Then he looks what he’ll get
        If he makes good his threat
        And when asked to confirm he says ‘No’.

        • 120
          Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

          There was an old duffer called Cable
          Who regularly walked from the table
          He always came back
          Renewed his attack
          His competence now just a fable

    • 79
      Kev says:

      Say it like it is, he’s a spineless Twat.

  2. 3
    anon says:

    Ming is bactracking on behalf of clegg on Daily Politics now. Basically asying that Clegg went off half cocked before having the full facts

    • 7
      Liberal tendencies says:

      Ming went on the telly on Friday morning and fully backed Cameron. I saw him, I heard him and I was surprised but that is what he did and so did Clegg.

      • 145
        Hang The Bastards says:

        Ming is a fucking treacherous arsehole. WTF is he allowed to spoute such chite on TV.

        The sooner the k unt has a stroke the fking better.

    • 95
      Anonymous says:

      Expect a pile of concessions to be thrown at the Lib Dems as a consolation. Dave didn’t veto for the interests of Britain he did it for his City handlers. Give it time and it’ll be seen as the pyrrhic victory it undoubtedly is.

  3. 4
    pissed off voter says:

    When invited to tango Vince gets the foxtrots.

  4. 6
    a non says:

    Honestly believed your headline about quitting meant he was giving up cigarettes.
    Sane minds apart, [of which there are very few on the Liberal bench] hanging onto coat-tails and bluster is all they have left to feel they are making a difference.

  5. 8
    jgm2 says:

    Simple maths innit.

    Backbench MP = 65K per year.

    Cabinet MP = 130K per year.

    He’s as principled as his next paycheck.

    He’s effectively getting ten years pay and pension contributions for five years work. Plus he gets a c*a*r to be driven about in.

    And, bearing in mind there’ll be no end of LibDem MPs ready to step right up to fill the vacancy he figures he might as well take the cash as some other chancy wanker. So he does have some basic economic understanding insofar as it relates to his own personal wealth.

  6. 9
    Perse O'Nally says:

    As twats go, Vince rates pretty highly.

  7. 10
    Loungelizard says:

    It’s all about power and money. Vince doesn’t want to give up the tooled leather sandals, the tofu and smoked salmon blinis. All the trappings of power that the left so despise.

    • 18
      Fools and Horses says:

      Absolutely. A liberal MP will never get this chance of power again in our lifetime. It would take a a fool or a man of principle to throw away the opportunity and Vince is neither.

      • 64
        Its about the money stupid says:

        When the LibDems are wiped out electorally at the 2015 Election(or before if they actually grow some in the interim) Vince will be able to retire to a nice sinecure in the House of Lords as Lord Cable of Twickenham no doubt and elder Statesman of his party along side Paddy and “Ming”

        • 134
          Nemo says:

          Don’t think all those used to be LibDem voters will vote Cons, also IF the
          U Kippers gain votes they will not come from LibDems but from the Cons especially the right of the Cons, maybe to avert defections, Cammers might might try to arrange an alliance. Interesting times are in the offing.

          • Brown's a tosser says:

            All Cameron has to do NOW is state huge differences in the coalition over this matter and then say the GE represents the referendum, we will get you if we win the other two will not. Result landslide win for the tories. Or is that to simplistic!

          • Brown's a tosser says:

            sorry left the important word OUT out..

  8. 14
    jgm2 says:

    Simple maths innit.

    Backbench MP = 65K per year.

    Cabinet MP = 130K per year.

    He’s as principled as his next paycheck.

    He’s effectively getting ten years pay and pension contributions for five years work. Plus he gets a c*a*r to be d*r*i*v*e*n about in.

    And, bearing in mind there’ll be no end of LibDem MPs ready to step right up to fill the vacancy he figures he might as well take the cash as some other chancy wanker. So he does have some basic economic understanding insofar as it relates to his own personal wealth.

  9. 16
    TheRealJoePublic says:

    Vince Cable faces a difficult dilemma, if he resigns he faces a drop in salary and proportional loss of troughing rights. He must balance that against his supposed integrity, cash vs integrity. Mmmm!, watch this space.

  10. 19
    I don't need no doctor says:

    In the picture is Vince Cable sucking on a lemon?

  11. 19
    pissed off voter says:

    Seems like Cable has transformed from Mr Bean to Mr Bean.

  12. 21
    Uniterested Constituent says:

    The man’s a dithering moron, unloved and hated.

    He’s piqued, as his seat at Twickenham will merge with Richmond Park which means that he will be ousted. The next nearest Heston and Isleworth doesn’t feature the Feeble-Dims in the running.

    For goodness sake either furk orff back to Glasgow and yer Marxists mates or resign.

    • 28
      I don't need no doctor says:

      How long will Cable remain around the cabinet table,
      Not long because he’s not too stable,
      He makes it up as he goes along,
      Some would call it a fable.

    • 31
      jgm2 says:

      Exactly. This is his one chance to bag ten years of backbench salary and pension contributions for five years work.

      No contest. If he resigns at all it will be a day before the next election. BBC will report Vince is a man of integrity that left with his dignity intact.

  13. 23
    I don't need no doctor says:

    If you want to know the real truth about what’s going on read the Guardian. It’s full of err can’t quite think of the words.

  14. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    As I was sat on my toilet having a shit this morning, I suddenly realised there was no toilet roll left.

    So I had to walk about with my pants around my ankles for about 20 minutes until I finally found some.

    In Tesco, aisle 9.

  15. 26
    Greychatter says:

    Expert on everything – Will Hutton isnt that the fellow who was boss of the Work Foundation which was insolvent with a 27 million pensions deficit. Previously works for the Guardian. Nuf said!!

  16. 27
    not in my name says:

    Vince is upset so the BBC is very angry.

  17. 28
    Two's company says:

    If Ed had been the PM, would he have formed the Merkozyband?

  18. 30
    Raving Loon says:

    Davey boy finally does something worthwhile and everyone’s upset! I don’t get it. An in/out referendum would have been better but telling the EU to shove it is not a bad start.

  19. 32
    Grab the nachos and dips, it's gonna be a laugh says:

    What time is Cameron’s statement this afternoon? Can’t wait to see Miliband flounder. Last week Labour said Cameron would go to Brussels and cave in to Merkozy. Cameron completely blindsided them with his veto and now they’re desperately trying to come up with a coherent position. Had he caved in, they’d be accusing him of weakness and failing to protect the British interest. Instead they now find themselves in the unexpected position of arguing he should have signed up to a new treaty. This should make for popcorn worthy fun. And with Tory backbenchers supporting Cameron, it’s going to be a very raucous afternoon.

    • 45
      jgm2 says:

      Can look forward to Ned Balls making throat-slashing motions. Time for Cameron’s team to come up with some gag about ‘If I had your leadership and economic record I’d be cutting my throat too..’ kind of gag.

    • 47
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      I wonder if Guido or Neo Guido have thought about doing a live chat for it?

    • 52
      Roll Up Roll Up...Clegg to sit po-faced by Cameron(official) says:

      3.30 pm live on BBC News Channel,BBC Parliament and Sky plus on line… to watch parliament then you won’t get the biased commentary from the assembled BBC hacks and anti-Conservative invitees

    • 149
      Brown's a tosser says:

      Will get up at 3.30pm should be good telly. Watch Clegg’s face.

  20. 34
    Taxfodder says:

    The trick with “pushing the button” is to be positioned well outside the blast zone when you do the pressing.

    Sadly for him this will not be possible so he will do bugger all…as normal.

    Typical Lib Dem coward all the same talk big wave a white flag.

    • 73
      Sandalista says:

      Blast zone? That presupposes that there is something explosive to go off. The way things are going it more likely to be like a sparrow breaking wind.

  21. 36
    Well it's a thought says:

    Jeez, we know who’s side the BBC is on ,I get the impression they have gone into a Euro campaign mode, I find it strange when 5 pies and two jags was called a deputy PM they joked it was a non job, but now this other tosser is Deputy PM they are taking the idiot very seriously, SELL the BBC now!

  22. 42
    genghiz the kahn says:

    McShane spinning anti Cameron line on News 24, is that Hunt still suspended by Miliband or is he employed as a ‘Labour court jester?

  23. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the EU well.

  24. 48
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Advice required from Neo-Guido. Do you think Cable needs to wear a tin foil hat?

  25. 49
    Denis is a penis says:
  26. 55
    Get Smart says:

    Pieman Hughes on Sky ‘millions of UK jobs at stake’ how I would love to see him dangling on some lamp post.

    • 61
      jgm2 says:

      Aye. The millions of UK jobs currently being done by Europ*eans. They’re the most at risk if we pull out.

      There’s the door chaps.

  27. 57
    Ed Miliband says:

    I congratulate Little Mixth on winning the Xth Factor. I perthonally voted for Marcuth Collinth and I’m thure he’ll have a thplendid career.

  28. 63
    The extras says:

    Blinking heck. i just did a google to see how much a cabinet minister earns which then lead to how much an MP earns and it turns out that very few MPs actually earn what an MP earns. There are so many extra allowances for doing an MP’s job that one would have to be very lazy or dead just to earn the basic pay.

  29. 70
    Calculated moves? says:

    The only reason Cameron used his veto was to save his leadership. He knew that if he signed up to a new treaty, his party would’ve removed him. An alternative theory is that he did it to intentionally cause the coalition to collapse so he can call a snap election.

    • 72
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Only two scenarios?

    • 76
      Moral Compass says:

      Or, as is most likely, he did the right thing for his country.

      • 92
        Well it's a thought says:

        If he had done it for his country ,he would have been open an honest about it, he would have had his country on his side from the beginning, he didn’t it was to save himself.

        • 105
          jgm2 says:

          Surely, even if he did it for the most venal personal reasons, he would present it as being done for the good of the country. Indeed I had thought that is exactly what he was trying to do. Is that message being in some way supressed? Going unreported on the BBC somehow?

          Perhaps it is. I’ve not been following the Beeb too closely on this.

          You cannot seriously be suggesting that Cameron isn’t spinning this as being done for the good of the UK?

          • Well it's a thought says:

            Time will tell jgm2, if it was done honestly or to his advantage, last week on this blog we were slating him and calling him allsorts our opinions, this week we are praising him, being a cynical tosser I will hang on until those bstards in the EU have done all the deals and the smoke is cleared, I hope he has but I believe he hasn’t.

        • 133
          Hi sailors! says:

          He obviously did it for the country – er, that’s what all that 3 line whip business was about a few weeks ago, isn’t it?

    • 107
      nellnewman says:

      I think that’s a straightforward case of ‘who cares why he did it? He did it! Thank the Lord’

      57% of folks from all walks of life and all political spectrums, polled over the weekend said they totally agreed with him. Only 14% said they disagreed. the rest agreed but seemed to worry there would be repercussions.

  30. 74
    ENGLAND says:

    Amidst all the politico’s pontificating and all the mock angst and horror from the Liebour tw@ts across the whole spectrum of the media, one thing has been totally forgotten.

    The vast majority of the Great British Public back Cameron’s decision.

  31. 81
    Herman van Rumboy says:



  32. 82
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Is that Hunt-Brown still hiding in the bunker?

    • 90
      Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

      It’s a great day to bury bad news !!!

      • 93
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Peston pointed out that the taxpayers are sitting on top of a huge loss on bailing out RBS, and forgot to mention who sanctioned the bail out via nationalisation.

        Meanwhile the Coalition is under strain and about to collapse, and that Hunt McShane is all over the BBC like a rash to criticise Call Me Dave.

        • 97
          Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

          I saved the World but somehow also destroyed the British economy !

          British jobs for East European British workers !

        • 104
          EdButLookBalls says:

          Court Jetsetter McShane been sent out to bat, retardED is spraying his back with surgical spirit to lessen the pain from the weals he’ll get from the whipping he’ll get at Noon Wednesday!!!

          • Fish says:

            Where’s Balls today?

          • genghiz the kahn says:

            Must have lost his voice.

            “A general belief, reinforced by external assessments, that the FSA’s
            philosophical approach was appropriate, and indeed a global model of
            good regulation. This sanguine view was reflected in a National Audit
            Office review of the FSA in April 2007.

            At the time of its publication, the then Economic Secretary to the Treasury, Ed Balls MP, stated that{
            ‘The independent NAO report shows that the FSA is working well, and
            is a world leader in a number of areas – which can only be good for
            the competitiveness of the UK financial services sector’.741″

  33. 84
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I got a bit carried away at the office Christmas party and started photocopying my arse.

    After destroying all the copies when I sobered up I didn’t think the boss would find out, but apparently customers complain when they discover their invoices have skid marks.

  34. 85
    Jimmy says:

    The coalition now has its Clare Short.

  35. 98
    EdButLookBalls says:

    GHT the twat pontificating over McDoom on R4 was his batman arse-bandit, Nick Namesake!!

  36. 102
    nellnewman says:

    So self interest spectacularly wins the day. I am unsurprised!

    poor old vince just couldn’t bear to give up his ministerial salary, expenses ,pension and chauffered car!!

  37. 103
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    1st Interview is already out with Little Mix;

    Smash Hits asked the fat one:

    “What’s your favourite meal?”

    Fatty replied: “Seconds”

  38. 110
    pissed off voter says:

    OpenEuropeOpen Europe

    Bild am Sonntag poll: 46% of respondents believe Germany would be better off out of EU with 45% believing the opposite

    1 hour ago FavoriteRetweetReply

  39. 115
    Yellow Twats says:

    that arse bandit Hughes is on Sky telling me I am confused about my opinions on Europe. TWAT TWAT TWAT, why do you Liberal TWATS think you know better than the public who elected you?


  40. 116
    pissed off voter says:

    OpenEuropeOpen Europe

    President Klaus says Czech Republic should not contribute to IMF bail out

    30 minutes ago FavoriteRetweetReply

  41. 119
    pissed off voter says:

    This European Stability Mechanism Treaty has got to have been taken directly from ‘Animal Farm’. Orwell writes the script and the EU hams it up.

  42. 123
    State Lies says:

    And in today’s heavily played down news, there was an outbreak of diversity in Trafalgar Square over the weekend.

    Only 139 arrests and some old honky carol singers attacked.

    But at least the streets of London are safe now that Emma West is behind bars.

  43. 124
    Billy No Mates says:

    Little Mix – 48.3%
    Marcus Collins – 42.8%
    Amelia Lily – 8.9%

    So Little Mix should form the next government. It would also appear that Amelia Lily will be more popular than the Liberal Democrats.

  44. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Some times nothin, can be a real Cool hand …. * Lucille*

  45. 141
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Vince is just hanging on until his lottery numbers come up. £134,565 is a lot to give up without an alternative.

  46. 142
    JJB says:

    Vince ‘loose’ Cable is a very very irritating man.

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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

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